Until the Very End
by liylpetal
Summary: James and Lily weren't even friends, everyone was sure of that; especially them. But, as their world gets turned upside down by the war, fighting for their lives, and just typical teenage drama, that might just change. From their time at Hogwarts to their untimely death, James and Lily become something more than just themselves.
1. Returning Home

James was on Platform 9 and ¾ with his mother and father, excited to get back to Hogwarts. His mother was fussing with his hair, repeatedly saying, "Jamesy, does it ever lie flat? You need a haircut. Why didn't we get you a haircut this summer?" She kept pressing her hands onto his head in a desperate attempt to make his unruly, black hair smooth out.

"Can't have him looking too prim, Euphemia, it'll ruin his whole reputation" Sirius teased, which earned a glare from James.

"Well really James, I can't imagine you get too many ladies with your hair in such a right state," Euphemia Potter mumbled, still fussing with the mop of hair atop James' head.

"He doesn't care about _ladies_ , just one _lady_ in particular," Sirius continued, jerking his head towards Lily, who had just entered the platform, alone.

"Oh Jamesy! Is that your girlfriend? Well she is just positively lovely. Let's go say hello, Fleamont?"

"NO!" James exclaimed, panic across his face. Euphemia Potter jumped at the exclamation.

"James, we're not going to embarrass you, we just wanted to say hello," she whispered, looking confused.

"She's not my girlfriend, mum, Sirius is just taking the mickey out of me." James groaned when he saw Lily coming towards them. She was smiling, but her hair was messy, and she looked frazzled. She was carrying her trunk in left hand, and its bulk caused it to bump into her leg with every step. She reached the spot where the Potter family was standing and set it next to her feet, pushing her hair out of her face.

"Hullo! I thought I heard James yelling, what's gone wrong, has his hair gone too flat?"

"See Jamesy, your hair should be more presentable." His mum began fussing with his hair again, and James turned red, swatting her hands away. "Honestly, do you think he looks presentable with his hair all roughed up like this?"

Lily laughed. "Oh no, not at all. I think _Jamesy_ looks positively ghastly. I really think we out to put him out of his misery and shave all of his hair off, honestly." At that, James father, Fleamont, laughed loudly.

"I quite like you Miss, uh-"

"Miss Lily Evans, pleased to meet you," Lily said brightly, extending her hand to shake his. Fleamont Potter leaned forward to grab her delicate hand and shook it once. Lily noticed how strong his handshake was before letting go.

"Well Miss Evans, I like you; you're a cheeky young lady. Will you keep James in line this year, eh?" He winked.

Lily nodded overdramatically, "Oh yes, I can't have our sweet James running amuck and causing mischief in the castle, now can I? We wouldn't want anyone to think he's less than a model student." Everyone laughed at that, and Lily beamed at James.

"Can everyone stop taking the mickey out of me, then? We have a train to catch you know." James huffed and attempted to steer his trolley towards the train, but he was pulled into a tight hug by his mother. " _Muuum_." She let go, slightly teary eyed, and waved him on.

Sirius and Lily had already departed, leaning in and laughing together. Lily turned back to James and laughed, "Well come on _Jamesy_ , wouldn't want you to miss the train!"

He stuck his tongue out at her and scowled. He quickened his pace to follow her and Sirius onto the train before it departed. Lily laughed and turned back, lifting her trunk onto the train with slight difficulty, but Sirius grabbed it and lifted up onto the train, at Lily's protest. They walked through the train, chatting lightly about their summer holiday before stopping in front of the compartment that contained their good friends.

Sirius opened the sliding door and slipped in, finding a seat among the crowded compartment. Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald were seated near the window, and Lily moved forward to claim the empty spot next to Mary.

She sat down and turned to her friends, "So, did you all have a nice holiday?" Marlene answered first, saying that she spent most of the holiday playing quidditch with James and going to Diagon Alley. James and Marlene were old friends, as their pureblood families have been closely intertwined for centuries.

Once everyone had exchanged pleasantries about how their summer holiday had been spent, Marlene, Sirius, and James jumped into intensely discussing Quidditch, and the upcoming tryouts to replace their Keeper and Seeker, who had both graduated the past year. While Remus, Lily, Peter, and Mary started chatting about what classes they were going to take this term.

Marlene swapped seats with Remus in order to better discuss the Gryffindors who could become prospective quidditch team members.

"Well obviously we have to keep Will Price in consideration," Marlene commented, looking to James for confirmation.

James shook his head, "Nah he's-" he looked briefly at Lily, "Well he's a git, and I rather think he would be a rotten player too."

Marlene looked at him, confused. "What are you talking about? You've seen him fly, he's-"

Sirius cut in, voice dropped to a whisper, "He's got a thing for Lily, and Prongs can't deal with any competition."

"Oh honestly James? Grow up."

James scowled, and tried to steer the conversation to who could replace their Seeker in the coming year.

Lily checked her watch and looked at Remus, "Remus, are you ready to go to the prefect meeting?" Lily asked, standing up and smoothing out her skirt. She pretended not to notice James watching her.

Remus also stood up, moving towards the door and sliding it open, "Sure," once they exited he closed the door, "Do you know who the heads are yet?"

Lily started down the train's corridor to the enlarged prefects' compartment. "Not yet, but I'll bet Frank Longbottom is Head Boy."

Remus nodded. "Yeah, probably" They walked in silence for a few moments before arriving at their destination.

Lily paused before opening the door to the prefect compartment. Severus Snape was sitting near the window, scowling at his shoes. Lily was convinced that after last year and the whole ordeal with Remus, _and_ the incident where Severus called her a mudblood would strip him of his position, but Dumbledore works in mysterious, if annoying and stupid ways, she supposed. She thought about it as she walked into the compartment and sat down. Last year's incidents aside, Severus was the best candidate for Slytherin, considering his house members, and, despite Lily's distaste for him, she would prefer him over Mulciber or Avery any day. Her thoughts were interrupted by the Head Girl standing up and calling attention.

Frank Longbottom shuffled some papers and stood up as well, addressing the students before him, "Hello everyone."

Lily leaned over to Remus. "Told you." Remus did not look at her, but rather smiled and nodded slightly.

"So I'm Frank Longbottom, I'll be your Head Boy this year."

"And I'm Jean Abbott, I'll be your Head Girl this year." Jean Abbott was plain, but nice and well behaved. Lily thought she might play Quidditch, but she couldn't be sure. She was a Hufflepuff, and Lily didn't know very many people outside of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

"Right so, there isn't much to this meeting as many of you know. The fifth years are welcome to stay to ask questions since this is your first year as prefects. The rest of you, you know the drill. We'll hand out patrol schedules the first of each month. If you have any standing conflicts, please let us know before the end of September. The September patrol schedules will be posted Monday of next week. If you need to deduct points, please see me or Frank, and we will review the incident and take points accordingly. _Please_ do not abuse this power. If there are no questions, you lot can head out. At some point during the ride, patrol the corridors and make sure no one is doing anything stupid." Jean waited for a moment, looking to see if anyone had questions, before sitting down and returning to the papers before her.

Lily and Remus stood up immediately, as Lily was anxious to leave the compartment before Severus had time to make contact. They walked quickly back, and rejoined their friends, who were debating the Quidditch final intensely. Lily rolled her eyes, and sat in the empty spot next to James, as Peter had claimed her old spot next to Mary to talk eagerly about herbology. Mary was best in the class with herbology, with Peter as a close second. James smiled at her for a brief moment before shouting, "That was a foul and you know it, McKinnon. Are we supposed to believe that Jones just _happened_ to run right into a goal? She's the most coordinated player I've ever seen!"

"Excuse you that title is reserved for-" She didn't finish, looking at Lily, who had abruptly stood up. Everyone followed her gaze, to see Severus Snape opening the compartment door.

He ignored everyone and took a step towards Lily, lowering his voice, "Lily, can we talk?" His eyes bored into her. " _Please?_ " Lily thought she heard a bit of pleading in his voice, which tugged at her heartstrings, but she hardened her resolve and opened her mouth to tell him, kindly, to fuck off.

But James, seeing an opportunity to come to Lily's rescue, jumped up, preventing Lily from speaking, "She doesn't want to talk to you, Snivellus. I thought she made that clear when she shouted at you outside of Gryffindor tower last term, or have you forgotten?"

Severus cringed at the memory. "Funny, Potter. I don't recall asking you."

Lily spoke up, "He's right, _Snape_ ," she said his surname bitterly, "I don't want you here." Severus' expression faltered for a second. He looked at Lily, his dark eyes shining with longing, then the moment passed and his face hardened into its regular scowl immediately. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the compartment, slamming the door behind him.

James laughed and sat back down, and Sirius threw a Bertie's Bott at him, which James caught with ease. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Bloody git. Hey Prongs, we should start thinking of pranks for Snivelly this year, huh?"

James was about to reply, but looked up at Lily's face and stopped abruptly.

Lily turned, giving him the scariest look he had ever seen. He expected shouting, but what came out was much, much worse. In a calm, even, but downright deadly tone, she snarled, "I do not want your help, Potter. I think you know you have done enough. As for pranks, I had hoped that with everything that happened last year would have had an effect on you. But I guess not." With that, she too stormed out of the compartment, walking the opposite way of Snape.

James was frozen.

Sirius whistled, "Damn, Prongs. You fucked up bad this time."

James' face was bright red, and he looked ashamed, for what might have been the first time in life.

Mary spoke up. "James, I honestly don't think I've seen Lily that mad at anyone. Except maybe Snape at the end of last-" she was cut off by James exiting the compartment, less forcefully than his predecessors.

He walked in pursuit of Lily. He passed several compartments, briefly glancing in them to see if she might have slipped into one. He saw her red hair bobbing up ahead, and she was discussing something intently with Frank Longbottom. She smiled and grabbed his arm, nodding excitedly.

James waited on her to finish. She was already pissed, and he wasn't going to risk interrupting and piss her off more.

Frank laughed and turned away, "Hey James, alright?"

"Yeah, good holiday?"

Frank smiled. "The best." James was slightly confused by this answer, but he didn't have much time to ponder, as Lily had already breezed by him.

"Lily-"

"What, James?"

"I just-"

"Last year, after the incident, when you apologized to me, even though it wasn't necessarily your fault, I genuinely thought you had matured. I thought, 'wow, this is the first time James Potter has ever admitted he was in the wrong. Maybe, just maybe, his giant ego had deflated just _ever_ so slightly, and I could begin to _maybe_ become mates with him.' But you're the same. Hexing people for fun? Planning revenge against someone who literally hasn't done anything to you this year? Incredible. Truly. You had me fooled, Potter."

James looked down at his feet. "You're right."

She kept going, "And if you honestly think that I'm-" Lily stopped, confused, and looked up at him, "Wait. What?"

James looked at her, "You're right. The pranking, the hexing, taking the piss out of people who don't deserve it, it's immature. You're right, I need to stop. There's a literal war going on, and yet I'm here planning on hexing Snivellus. It's pathetic."

Lily did not expect that, "Well it's not pat-"

"No it is. In 2 years we're going to graduate, we can hope the war will be over, but you and I both know that it won't be. We're going to have to fight for our lives and protect people, and be adults, but I just…" he trailed off, "I just wanted to enjoy being a stupid kid. But I don't enjoy it anymore. When Snape called you… a-a that _word_ , I hated him for it, of course, but I mostly felt insanely guilty."

James looked abashed, and Lily was lost. She looked at him, confused, "You don't need to feel guilty, you didn't call me that."

He ruffled his hand through his hair. "No, I didn't but I caused it, didn't I? Obviously I think Snape is a piece of -" Lily gave him a look, "whatever, but I pushed him to the edge. And because of that, I ruined your friendship, a friendship you've had since you were a kid. And I felt horrible. I started to wonder how many other people hated me because I was, I am, just an arrogant, bullying toerag." He looked at Lily, " I'm just, I'm really sorry, Evans. I'm not going to be the same this year. I'm also not just saying that to get you off my back."

Lily was speechless. Her mouth kept opening and closing, thinking of what to say, but didn't have to, as James wasn't done.

"I know he thought it, and obviously I'm glad you're no longer friends, but I was the..." He trailed of and ruffled his hand through his hair again, "Anyways, I'm sorry. For everything. I actually mean it this time, and I hope we can be mates." She looked at him, confused, which James misunderstood as a glare, he corrected himself. "Not best mates, but maybe we can start to become mates, yeah?" He smiled, "Now will you come back to the compartment? I have some chocolate frogs that need eating."

Lily continued to stare at him for a moment longer, thoroughly astounded by his monologue. She hadn't meant to be so harsh on him, as Snape always brought out the worst in her, but she was truly impressed by James' apology and his attempt to make things right. Maybe they could, possibly, ever so potentially, cautiously, become friends.

She realized she hadn't responded yet. "Oh, I'm sure Sirius has already accomplished that task for you, we've been gone for a good five minutes."

James looked grave. "He better not have." Lily laughed at his expression, then followed him back down the corridor to return to their compartment, where Sirius had, indeed, eaten all of the chocolate frogs.

Several hours later, the students were seated in the Great Hall, post-Sorting, and enjoying the feast. Lily was content to eat and listen to the conversations around her. She was deep in thought about her upcoming semester. She had received O's in all of her owls except Divination and Transfiguration, which she received an E. Divination she had no intention of continuing, so no loss there, and McGonagall only required an E for her classes.

She was most excited about potions. After she earned her O on her OWL, Slughorn had written her with a draft of the year's schedule, and they were going to attempt some really intricate potions. The first day was the Draught of Living Death, which Lily could not wait to get started.

Marlene snapped her fingers in front of Lily's face, "Oi, Lils!"

"Oh sorry, did you say something?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, dropping her voice, "I asked what happened with Potter. We all thought we were going to need to help you dispose of his body, but you came back all chummy. What happened?"

"We weren't chummy," Lily protested, earning a skeptical look from Marlene. Lily sighed, setting down her fork, "He apologized, and I really think he's matured. We have decided to start thinking about becoming mates."

Marlene snorted and said, "Wow Lils, I didn't realize you were such a tart. Starting thinking about becoming friends? You might as well sign the marriage certificate now." To which, Lily made a face and returned to her dinner.

At that moment all of the Marauders plopped down around them, Remus and Sirius next to Marlene, James and Peter on either side of Lily. Lily looked at James, suspicious, "Where were you just now? During the Sorting?"

Sirius winked at her, "Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, love." Lily scowled and looked down at her food again.

Remus spoke up, "So Lily, excited for classes this year?"

Lily brightened, "Yes, I'm particularly excited about Potions this year"

Peter laughed, "You're excited about potions? I rather feel like vomiting."

Through a mouthful of food, Sirius spoke, "It's cause she got a thing for Sluggy," which earned him a dinner roll to the face, thrown by Lily.

Remus laughed and caught the roll that bounced off his nose and delicately put it on Sirius' plate, "What about Potions, Lils?"

"Oh well Slughorn sent me a few letters this summer about the stuff we'll be doing this year, and it seems quite interesting." Lily suddenly remembered a _very_ interesting article that Slughorn had also sent, "And there's something else, maybe we could talk about it soon?"

Everyone in the surrounding area gave her a weird look, but Lily kept her eye on Remus, who shrugged. "Yeah sure. Want to go to the library after class tomorrow?"

Lily nodded, "Yeah, might as well claim our table, it's going to be a lot of long nights this year."

James, who was seated to her right, leaned over and whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her skin, "What do you need to talk to him about?"

Lily smiled, "Nosy, Potter? And here I thought I had already discovered all of your bad qualities."

"Cheek, Evans," he smiled, "But will you tell me later?"

"If you behave." With that, James straightened up, placed a napkin on his lap, and began delicately slicing the chicken in front of him, to which Lily rolled her eyes.

After supper, Lily made her way up to her dormitory with Marlene, excited to sleep in the soft, four-poster bed, which she knew would already be warm and comfy. They entered the room to find her dorm mates, Alice, Mary, and Anna all sitting on their beds talking.

Anna waved. "We're all listening to Alice's story of how her and Frank got together." Lily smiled briefly at Anna before sitting on her own bed. Anna was sort of the fifth wheel in their dorm, as Alice, Lily, Mary, and Marlene were all good friends. Lily really didn't know much about her, except that she had a few friends in Ravenclaw, and was dating the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain. She was nice and kept her stuff neat, and that's all a person can ask for in a roommate.

Alice brightened when Lily and Marlene entered, starting her story over, "Well we had been flirting quite a bit last year, as you guys all know," she giggled and all of the other girls nodded vigorously. They had spent the better part of the last year trying to convince Alice to just bloody kiss Frank to put everyone out of their misery.

"Well, this summer, there was a big wedding, pureblood families and all that. Some Potter getting married to some Dearborn or something, I didn't pay much attention. But Frank was there, and we spent the entire night making fun of the stuffy old people and drinking champagne. He charmed this old witch's hat to stand up and dance whenever someone said bride. It was hilarious, 'cause these little fat legs popped out of the brim and started stomping on this old woman's head," Alice had to stop because she laughing so hard. She continued, wheezing, "and then," laughter, "and then she saw us laughing and started chasing us around, so we ran out of the house, and," Alice then became serious, "and when were hiding, he kissed me." This earned a squeal from all of the girls in the dorm, and they spent the better part of the night talking about their breaks, classes, and anyone they thought was looking fit this year.

The next morning, Lily woke up feeling energized and excited to start the first day of class. Her dorm mates, Mary, Alice, and Anna were still asleep, but it seemed Marlene had already gone down to breakfast. She got dressed quietly as to not wake up the others, but then practically skipped down from the dormitory stairs to find Sirius sitting on the edge of one of the tables,

"Hey Lils."

"Hey Sirs."

"It doesn't work with my name."

Lily shrugged, "Want to go get breakfast?"

"Yeah."

Sirius opened the portrait hole and climbed through after her, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"If it's about Potter, I'm not in the mood."

Sirius looked confused, "No, it's about Remus"

"Oh, okay, shoot."

"He hates me. He's been avoiding me all summer."

Lily knew immediately what this was about. The preceding year Snape was almost killed by Remus, which was entirely Sirius' fault, "Well, can you blame him?"

Sirius stopped walking, "What?"

"Can you blame him? Can you imagine what would have happened if James wasn't there to stop it? Remus would have been hauled off to Azkaban or killed, Severus would have died or been bitten, thus ruining his life. It was a horrible, horrible thing to do."

Sirius opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, "You were supposed to make me feel better."

Lily smiled, "I'm not finished. You made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. This one was just a bit more catastrophic than mistakes other people make. It was horrible, but it was a mistake. _I_ know you didn't mean any harm, you just don't think before you do things. It's honestly a real flaw." Sirius scowled. "But, Remus knows, deep down, that you would never hurt him intentionally, and you let your spite cloud your judgement. I reckon with a lot more groveling and some thoughtfully purchased Honeyduke's chocolate, you could get back in his good graces." Lily thought for a moment. "But I doubt any part of him could hate anyone, let alone someone he's been friends with for 5 years."

Sirius thought about this for a moment before saying, "Merlin, I hope you're right." He linked arms with her and they walked down to the Great Hall, where James, Remus, Peter, and Marlene were already seated.

"Morning everyone, it's a lovely day isn't it?" Lily asked as she sat down.

Everyone looked at her. Marlene scoffed, "Lils it's the first day back of sixth year. We have to go to classes for the first time in 2 months."

Lily simply smiled, "I know, isn't it wonderful?" They all groaned. She served herself some toast and eggs, forgetting how much she missed having all of her meals made for her.

They all talked about what classes they were taking this year. Peter had to drop quite a few subjects, as he didn't get the required grades. Marlene also had to drop Potions, as she was never good at it, no matter how many times Lily tried to teach her.

McGonagall came over with their schedules. Lily graciously accepted hers and excitedly looked over it. She had Potions today first.

James leaned over, "Hey Evans, we have Potions together, fancy being partners?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "And risk my perfect record? Not in a million years, Potter. I thought Remus and I would be partners this year since," she hesitated, "Since I don't have a partner this year," she finished, lamely.

"Well can we walk down together?" He asked, trying to seem casual despite his excitement.

She gave him a sideways glance, "If you promise to behave." She turned to face the other people at the table. "Hey Remus, I'm done after Defense, are you?"

"Yeah, head to the library afterwards?" Remus asked, still working on his breakfast. She nodded.

Lily stood up with her bag over her shoulder, neatly placing her new schedule into the cover of Potions book before tucking it into her bag and walking out of the Great Hall. James stood up as well and started to follow Lily. Peter gave him a big thumbs up, and Sirius winked at him, causing James to make hand motions to silently plead them to stop.

He caught up to Lily by taking a brisk jog to where she was, already down at the entrance doors. Lily was moving swiftly, expertly weaving in and out of younger students headed toward the great hall for breakfast before classes began. James had to keep a brisk walk to keep up with her. "Damn Evans, slow down, where's the dragon?"

Lily almost had forgotten he was there. She looked slightly over her shoulder, glad to see that James was having a hard time keeping up, and thus couldn't talk to her more than she allowed. "I'm excited to get to Potions." she answered simply.

He laughed, "You're insane."

"I prefer passionate" Lily looked over her shoulder and smiled. James paused, and flashed a big, toothy, genuine grin at her, to which Lily smirked back.

James trotted around her in order to hold the door to the Potions room open. Despite Lily's quick pace, most of the class had already arrived, mostly because Lily had gotten down to breakfast later than she should have and her talk with Sirius took monopolized a good portion of her breakfast time.

Slughorn looked up and brightened at Lily as she walked into the room, "Miss Evans! I'm so glad to see you here. It seems Severus has saved a spot for you over at his table. I can't wait to see how you two handle this potion today."

Lily froze, she was planning on waiting for Remus to get here and they were going to be partners, "Well actually, Professor," Slughorn was looking at her with such a genuine smile, and she didn't want to disappoint him. She panicked, "I'm partners with James." James looked shocked. Slughorn looked confused. Snape looked murderous.

He paused, then clasped his hands together, "Ah, well. It will spur some healthy competition, then eh?" He turned to Snape, "Keep you on your toes, boy! Can't have you going too soft on me."

Snape smiled fakely at Slughorn, then glared daggers at Lily. Remus and Sirius entered shortly after, though anyone hardly noticed.

Lily and James set their bags on a table and pulled out a cauldron. Lily lit the flame and James leaned over and whispered in her ear, "You know for being 1 million and 15 years old, I must say you look ravishing."

"Shut it Potter, or I will go be partners with him."

"Nah, you won't."

Lily sighed. She wouldn't. "Alright well, don't drag me down. I have a reputation to uphold."

James smiled, "Your wish is my command, my lady."

"Go get the lizard eggs"

"Yes, my queen."

"And shut up."

James closed his lips and mimed locking them, throwing away the imaginary key, which earned a giggle from Lily.

It was funny, sometimes, how fate worked out.


	2. Chummy With Evans

After Lily had finished potions and charms, she walked up to settled into a desk next to Mary in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room.

"Hey"

"Hey, how was Potions?"

Lily laughed, "I'll tell you about it later. So what have we heard about our new professor?"

Sirius leaned forward and said, "It's Aria Pierce, she's been an Auror for like a million years. I heard she's fought You-Know-Who herself."

"I'm not quite that old, Mr. Black." A tall, black woman entered the room. She had a severe and sharp face, with a small scar above her right eye, slicing through her eyebrow. She was muscular, and held herself with an attitude that discouraged anyone from approaching her. "I've only been an Auror for 20 years, though I suppose that seems like a long time to you young folk," She smiled. "Before the rumors progress too much further, allow me to introduce myself." She leaned against the desk at the front of the room, twirling her wand between her fingers, "I am Professor Aria Pierce. I have worked with Alastor Moody for 20 years in Auror office, and yes, I have faced Voldemort." There were a few gasps. "That is why, this semester, I think it will be important that we prioritize the practical applications of defense against dark magic. I will still teach you the required material that may appear on your N.E.W.T.s next year, but there will not be any essays or homework in this class." There was a murmur of excitement. "We will be focusing on skills to protect yourself out there. There is a war, and I will teach you as such."

She stood up straight, "Please separate into pairs, and practice shield charms. Please attempt to master them, as next week we will be attempting them non-verbally."

Everyone stood and split off into groups. Lily pushed back her chair and stood up. She backed several paces away from the desk, facing Marlene, and raised her wand. Marlene started with a simple jelly legs charm, which Lily easily deflected.

Professor Pierce walked between the groups and occasionally commented on technique. She came to stop and watched James for a moment. James, conscious of this, attempted to show off and rather lazily flicked away Peter's expelliarmus.

Professor Pierce pursed her lips, "Potter." James turned slightly.

"Yes, professor?"

"Is Mister Pettigrew's technique not challenging enough for you?"

James chuckled. "Nah, I suppose not."

She furrowed her brow at him, "Then why don't you find a partner more suited to your abilities?"

"Like who?"

"Go stand over there, James. Since you believe your abilities are so superior, why don't you try against me?"

James' face showed a brief moment of nervousness, but quickly reformed into his characteristic, smug smirk, "Of course Professor, don't worry, I won't go _too_ easy on to you." He walked a few paces away from the Professor and turned, assuming a defensive position.

"Are you ready, Mister Potter?" James, wand raised, nodded. Professor Pierce flicked her wand and easily disarmed James, catching his wand effortlessly.

James looked stunned, "Professor, I-"

"You said you were ready." She said, bluntly.

"Well yes, but I-"

She tossed his wand back to him, "Try working with Alice, Potter. Hopefully she will provide more of a challenge."

Alice walked over to James, and her partner Mary joined Peter on the other side of the room.

James scowled, "Well I hardly think that was fair. She never said she would do it non verbally"

Alice chuckled. "You're just mad she embarrassed you." She took James' distracted moment to land an Expelliarmus, and caught his wand like Pierce had done moments before.

"Hey! I wasn't ready!"

"Will you ever be?"

James looked confused at that, feeling that Alice had a deeper meaning that applied to more than just defense class. He deflected some of Alice's charms and landed a few on her, but they were evenly matched for the most part.

They all continued for the rest of the period, the shouts of spells overlapping, causing a dull roar to emit from the classroom. Lily was able to deflect all of Marlene's spells, and Marlene deflected all but three of Lily's. Lily felt quite proud of herself, and their Professor commented on how well she did. Lily beamed up at her and thanked her.

Eventually, the bell rang, and Pierce called out, "Excellent work today everyone. If you find the time, practice the shield charms this weekend and attempt a few non-verbally."

The students gathered their things and exited the classroom, all of them comparing their opinions of their new professor.

Lily, walking with Remus, spoke up, "Well I think she's brilliant. Scary, but brilliant."

James scowled, "Well I think she's a right hack."

"You're just mad that she handed you your ass, Prongs," Sirius said, dodging a smack from James.

"No! I just think it's a bit ridiculous to say one thing, and then do the opposite! I didn't know she was going to use a non-verbal spell! I could have easily blocked a verbal spell," James lamented.

Lily looked at him. "But do you think someone is ever going to tell you what kind of spell they're going to use on you?"

James opened his mouth, but then closed it again. It seemed everyone had cryptic comments to share today.

She turned back to Remus, "Library?"

He nodded "Yeah." They turned off, leaving the group behind.

They entered the library together. Remus made to sit at their usual table, next to the window facing the quidditch pitch, but Lily steered him to a secluded corner behind the stacks. She did not want to be overheard.

They settled into wooden chairs in the back corner of the library, near the shelves with the oldest books, giving the air a slightly musty scent. Lily breathed it in, loving the smell, as it represented her favorite place within Hogwarts. They set their bags on the floor and Lily ducked down to retrieve the article Slughorn had sent her over the summer.

Remus leaned back, "So, how was-"

He was cut off by Lily resurfacing, "Have you ever heard of wolfsbane?"

Taken aback, and a bit surprised, Remus cautiously shook his head. Lily smoothed the article out on the table in front of them, "It's a potion. You can brew it, and then a," she lowered her voice to almost an unintelligible level, "person who's a werewolf, takes it on the full moon, reducing the effects."

Remus, not fully grasping the concept, asked, "What do you mean?"

Lily looked around, keeping her voice low, "Read this article. When you take this potion, you still transform, but you keep your mind. You don't attack anything, you aren't out of control, you're basically a large house pet."

Remus eyed the article with a skeptical look, then took a moment to read over it. Once he had skimmed it, he sat back, staring off into space. "So I wouldn't," he stopped. "I could, I could know what's going on? I wouldn't scratch myself? Or, or _hurt_ anyone?"

Lily nodded, "And Slughorn has all of the ingredients. He even told me I should try to brew it this semester. I could brew it and then maybe…" she trailed off.

Remus shook his head, "No Lils, I can't ask you to do that, you could get in trouble, and I'm sure this potion is really hard to brew, and-"

Lily cut him off, waving her hand, and counting on her fingers, "First, I wouldn't get in trouble. Slughorn _wants_ me to brew this. Second, if you honestly think I wouldn't love a challenge in Potions, you don't know me at all. Third," she lowered her hand with her three outstretched fingers and placed it over his and looked at him, "you should know that I would do anything, no matter how difficult or dangerous it is, to help you. You're one of my best friends, Remus, and I want to help you."

Remus teared up at that, but he hastily ducked his head down so Lily couldn't see. "Well if you, if you really want to, then we can try it, yeah." His voice was cracking, so he looked down at his lap and tried to blink some of the tears away.

Lily awkwardly cleared her throat and patted him on the back, "There was actually something else I wanted to talk to you about." Remus looked up at her, questioning. Lily bit her lip, unsure of how to phrase this, but continued anyways. "Do you hate Sirius?"

Remus sighed, rubbing his face with his hands before speaking, "No." Lily looked relieved. "I know he didn't intentionally try to hurt me- I happened to get in the crossfire. He can be a git sometimes, but" he paused, "I could never hate him." he finished quietly.

Lily nodded. "You should talk to him. He thinks you hate him."

Remus sighed, and nodded. Lily, hoping to end the conversation, reached into her bag and pulled out a book and some parchment to start on her homework. She was slightly bitter that Flitwick had already assigned an essay, but she liked Charms enough to not be overly upset about it.

James was walking back to Gryffindor tower from a detention with McGonagall. He may have "accidentally" let Peeves into Filch's supply closet and let him cover the entrance hall with mop water and soap bubbles. All of the evidence was circumstantial though, and James maintained that he should not have had to serve detention on the first night of the term.

He arrived at the portrait hole and wearily said the password before climbing through. What he saw on the other side though made his heart jump to his throat.

Lily was seated on the couch, laughing, with Sirius' head _literally_ between her legs, and Remus leaned against her shoulder, lightly dozing.

She threw her head back and laughed in a genuine, beautiful sounding laugh, "Oh Sirius, you're absolutely stunning."

"I reckon I am, aren't I?" Sirius was examining himself in a small, handheld mirror Lily had just conjured. Sirius' hair was done up in a French braid, with loose strands framing his face.

"It accentuates your chiseled jaw, Padfoot," Remus commented from his spot on the couch.

"Lils, you will have to do my hair like this for the next quidditch game." Sirius said, seriously.

Lily giggled, "Oh yeah, okay. Strike fear into your opponents' hearts with a killer plait?"

"No, it keeps my hair out of my eyes. I'm being practical here." Lily lightly shoved his shoulder, and he leaned his head back against her knees.

James clenched his jaw and walked towards them, plopping down in the armchair next to the couch.

"Hey Prongs, what do you think of my new 'do?" Sirius lifted his head from Lily's lap to turn his head, as if he was a model at a photoshoot.

"What is that?"

Lily laughed and began undoing Sirius' hair, "Sirius mentioned how much he liked it when someone messed with his hair, so I offered to braid it for him. I'm sure I enjoyed it much more than he did though, Sirius' hair is every girl's dream."

"Nah, Lils, your fingers are every bloke's dream."

Lily scowled and smacked his shoulder playfully, and James frowned.

Lily noticed this and said,"Oh don't pout Potter, Sirius knows he couldn't try anything with me."

"I'm not pouting!" He said, while pouting. Not just because of Sirius' comment. He was pouting because Lily called him "Potter" and avoided his every move, but here she was, with her hands in one of his best mates' hair, and leaning against his other best mate. Why didn't she do any of that with him?

James had barely registered that Lily had brought her record player down until she squealed, "Oh Pete!" James looked up, confused. Lily had jumped up from her seat, grabbing Wormtail's hand, and pulling him to an unoccupied area of the common room. They began dancing to the beat of the song and singing the lyrics.

"What is this?" James asked.

Remus sat up."Oh it's the new Bowie album. Lils and Wormtail are obsessed."

"What?"

"David Bowie is a Muggle singer," Remus provided, misunderstanding James' confusion.

"No not that, since when do Wormtail and Evans listen to music together?"

"Since about fourth year Prongs, where have you been?" Sirius laughed, attempting to recreate what Lily had done to his hair.

"What?"

"Merlin, Prongs, are you deaf?" Sirius asked.

"I just don't understand when you all got so chummy with Evans."

Remus sighed, "We got chummy with _Lily_ about third year, when you started acting like a git around her. She's actually a cool person, not that you ever cared to find out."

James blinked, "What? Of course I care, she's, she's Evans!"

"Mate, you don't know anything about her."

"I know lots of things about her!"

"Do you?" Remus asked.

The song faded out, and Peter returned to his seat, out of breath. Lily grabbed another record from box and put it on. James didn't recognize this either, but it had an upbeat rhythm and Lily bopped along to it.

"Merlin, I think that's the most physical activity I've gotten in two weeks," Peter wheezed. Lily moved her way back to the couch, moving her hips side to side with the beat and snapping.

"Damn, Wormtail, that's sad." Sirius laughed, and moved himself between Lily's knees again once she sat back down.

"Lils do my hair again, a different one this time."

"A fishtail perhaps?" Lily proposed, to which Sirius nodded, and Lily started combing her fingers through his hair. "You know, Pete, I like to go for walks in the evenings, you're welcome to join me sometime," She grabbed strands of Sirius' hair and began folding them over each other, noticing how shiny and thick his hair was.

Pete smiled. "Thanks Lily, I need the exercise."

"We can't all be quidditch stars like this lot" She laughed.

"Oh, you think I'm a quidditch star, Evans? You're too kind." James winked at her, and Lily's

face immediately hardened.

"Who says I was referring to you? Sirius is in present company," she said, not unkindly, but not overly friendly either. James quieted and looked away.

The next couple of moments passed in silence, until Lily exclaimed she was done, and held the mirror up to Sirius.

"Oh wow, I rather like this one. Will you teach me how to do it?"

Lily laughed, "Sure, but not now. I'm going to bed. I barely got any sleep last night." Sirius scooted out from between her legs and she stood up, heading towards the stairs. She called back over her shoulder, "Night,"

James watched her as she ascended the staircase to the sixth year girls' dorm and frowned. He immediately rounded on his mates surrounding him.

"What the bloody hell was all that?" He accused.

"Damn Prongs, chill out. That was us having friends besides you, for once," Sirius quipped.

James frowned and leaned back in his chair, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes, "Why doesn't she act like that with me?"

"Because you make her uncomfortable, James," Peter said, quietly.

"Uncomfortable? How?"

Remus looked at him incredulously, "Seriously? Asking her out every five minutes? Constantly flirting with her? Commenting on her appearance? Staring at her? It's a miracle she hasn't gotten a restraining order against you."

"A what?"

"It's a Muggle thing, never mind."

"Well yeah, I do those things, but Sirius makes jokes about her appearance and sleeping with her all of the time."

"Yeah, but I have never asked her out. And she knows that I'm just joking. It's possible for girls to be friends with me without me having to shag them, you know," Sirius said, looking down at his lap.

Peter spoke up, "She told me she thinks it's a game to you. Asking her out, humiliating her, all to get a rise out of her, since you know it will."

"I'M NOT HUMILIATING HER."

"SHHHH," Three voices hissed.

Quieter, "I'm not! I just want her to notice me."

"Well as you can see, none of us have ever done any of that, and she pays a lot more attention to us than she does you, Prongs," Remus explained, "And she's probably closer to dating Pete than she is you at this point,"

"Do you want him to murder me?" Peter accused Remus.

"I'm not going to murder you, Pete." James furrowed his brow, "So what you're saying is, I have to stop trying to impress her and ask her out, and just try to be mates, like you are?"

"Only way you'll ever get between her legs, mate," Sirius joked, earning a pillow in the face, thrown by James.

"Well what if I've ruined it now? What if she is still going to think I'm trying to go out with her?"

"You are still trying to go out with her," Remus said, thoughtfully.

"But genuinely!" James protested.

"Just stop doing all the stuff you've been doing, try to get to know her, not for the sole purpose of asking her out, and maybe she'll grow fond of you," Peter offered, not meeting James' eye.

"Yeah, alright I guess." James stood up and went upstairs. He climbed the steps slowly, looking at the lines on the stones underneath his feet. He opened the door to the dorm and crossed over to his bed, already made and turned down by the house elves. He flopped down and shut his four poster bed curtains, irritated with everything that had happened today.


	3. Give it a Rest, Mate

The first week of term passed without incident. It was now Friday, and Lily was looking forward to the weekend. She needed time to catch up on her sleep and homework. She was sitting on a stool in an empty dungeon, stirring the wolfsbane delicately. She had gotten in the habit of coming down to the dungeon to check on the potion after taking her evening walks following dinner. She stared into the it, watching it swirl absentmindedly.

 _I need to finish that charms essay on disillusionment charms_ , she thought. The professors had been extremely relentless on assigning homework, which she was not overly fond of. She couldn't deny that she loved learning about all of the magic surrounding her, but it became tiresome when she had so many assignments to complete and so little time to complete them.

She was lost in her thoughts and not paying attention to her surroundings. There was a sudden knock on the door. She jumped and pulled out her wand instinctively, edging towards the door.

"Who's there?" she called out, timidly. If it was anyone other than Slughorn she would have trouble explaining what she was doing down here. Students are technically not allowed to brew unsupervised, but Slughorn had been making exceptions for her since third year. He just couldn't say no to her, and she had somewhat abused this power the last few years.

"It's me, Remus," the voice called from outside.

Lily sighed in relief and put her wand away. She unlatched the door, letting him step into the room. Remus wrinkled his nose.

"What is that smell?"

Lily laughed lightly, "Yeah, unfortunately this smells pretty horrible. It will probably taste pretty horrible too. I'm sorry."

Remus shook his head and pulled a stool to the table where Lily was seated, "How's it coming along?" He looked into the cauldron, but sat back after the strong, foul odor filled his nostrils. He coughed and waved his hand in front of his face.

Lily furrowed her brow, "Well I think it's going well. I actually contacted the inventor of potion and-" Remus' eyes went wide and Lily immediately explained, "Oh no I didn't mention anything. I just sent him a letter asking for more detailed instructions on how to brew it. Everything has passed the checkpoints so far, but I worry about it. It can so dangerous."

Remus shrugged, "More dangerous than literally turning into a monster every month?"

Lily frowned and reached out for his hand, squeezing it, "You are not a monster. Ever. You just have a, a little problem."

Remus laughed and squeezed her hand back, "You know James calls it 'my furry little problem.'"

Lily giggled and turned back to the potion. "I think it's almost done. I'm going to have Slughorn evaluate it just to be safe, but I won't tell him I'm doing anything with it. I'll say I just want his opinion. Then in the future I'll know if it's right. It will be ready before this full moon though."

Remus pulled her into an awkward hug, reaching out from their stools. "Lily, I, I really can't thank you enough. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Lily squeezed him back, then pulled apart, waving away his thanks nonchalantly. "It's honestly no worries, Remus, I enjoyed brewing it. It helping you is just a bonus." Remus laughed, and they sat in silence watching the potion bubble slightly.

Meanwhile, James was upstairs, sitting cross-legged on his four poster, chewing on a chocolate frog and looking over the Marauders Map. He looked up at Sirius, who was laying in his own bed, reading a Muggle magazine Lily had let him borrow. In an attempt to ostracize himself further from his pureblood family, he had obsessively clung to anything Muggle related. Often times Lily would bring back things after holidays to surprise him. One time she brought him hair mousse and he lost it. His hair was more lustrous than it had ever been.

"Hey, why do you think Moony and Evans are alone in dungeon downstairs?" James asked, having spotted their dots on the map.

Sirius made a "I don't know" noise. "Maybe they're brewing a potion together."

"But I'm Evans' partner and you're Moony's partner. Why would they be working together?"

Sirius sat up and gasped, putting his hand to his chest, "Do you think they're plotting against us to usurp us as their partners?" He laughed and laid back down. James scowled, and Sirius spoke up again, "You know they may actually be doing that. You're rubbish at Potions."

James threw his empty chocolate frog package at him, hitting him on the thigh. He pulled out his school bag and took out his half-finished Potions essay. He really should have started this earlier, but he blamed Slughorn for assigning 12 inches on antidotes on their first week back. He squinted at his textbook in front of him, and began an introduction.

 _Antidotes are universally useful, and the knowledge of how to brew them can saves lives_. James

looked up at the door. He thought Remus was coming back, but it was just their roommate, Charles.

"Alright, James?" He asked, walking over to his bed.

"Yeah, just working on that Potions essay."

"I finished it earlier, let me know if you want to look at mine."

James smiled. Charles was their own, personal nerd. No matter the deadline, Charles always had his homework done on time, and he had never had a detention in his life. He didn't really fit in with the Marauders, and most people forgot he was a sixth year. But he always offered homework help, and James relied on him more than he should. "Thanks Charles, I'll have a go at it before I resort to cheating off of you."

Charles nodded and pulled out his own book, effectively ending their conversation.

James went back to his essay, disappointed that it hadn't written itself by now. He chewed on the end of his quill, and tried to think of what to say next.

 _The first step to making an antidote is identifying the potion you are trying to counteract. You will need to use a spell to separate the potion into its ingredients. This spell is_

James couldn't remember what the spell was, and his textbook wasn't on the right page. He supposed that was a good place to call it quits for the night. He pulled out his Charms textbook and tried to read about disillusionment charms, but was barely skimming the words.

Later, Remus returned to the dormitory, looking tired. The full moon was tomorrow, so he wasn't in the best shape at the moment. James bolted up from his spot on the bed. "What were you and Evans doing in the dungeons?"

"How do you know we were in the dungeons?" He asked, but as soon as he said it realization crossed Remus' face. He dropped his voice to a whisper, so that Charles couldn't hear, "Prongs, were you seriously spying on us with the Map? You're a creep, man."

James huffed, but didn't relent. "Well? What were you doing?"

Remus made a face, "Passionately snogging, obviously. She's madly in love with me. She's actually pregnant with my love child."

Sirius gasped, louder and more dramatic this time than earlier, "Moony! How could you betray me like this? I thought _I_ was the only one pregnant with your love child."

"What can I say mate, I can't be tied down."

Peter, who had come in earlier, spoke up, "It's true, I had his baby last year in secret. That's why I had to stay in the hospital wing for a week near the end of last term."

James scowled. "Shut up Wormtail you were in the hospital because Mulciber used a permanent sticking charm to stick your arse to a toilet."

Peter shuddered. "Please don't remind me."

James turned to face Remus again, "So what were you actually doing?"

Remus sighed, "It's none of your business what we're doing, and personally I'm offended that you're using our own creation to spy on me." With that Remus left to go get changed in the bathroom.

James looked confused, "I just wanted to know what they were doing."

Sirius got under the covers of his bed and sleepily said, "Let it go, James. He'll tell us at some point."

James reluctantly crawled back into his bed and attempted to sleep. It didn't work.

* * *

Lily bolted awake on Saturday at 5:00 in the morning. Today was the full moon and she needed to check on the potion one last time before Remus took it. She quietly dressed and snuck out of the dorm, so as to not wake her roommates. Marlene was notorious for sleeping way too late on weekends, and was malicious to anyone who took that away from her. Mary would be up soon though, and Lily promised they would go to the library to write the Charms essay together.

She walked quietly down to the dungeon, careful to avoid detection. The castle was cold and empty. She didn't even hear Peeves mucking about. For a second she forgot that anyone else was in the castle at all.

She skillfully avoided the trick step on the staircase, managed to skirt Mrs. Norris, and arrived to the dungeons without incident.

The door to the dungeon creaked as she pushed it open. She walked in and turned to quietly close it behind her.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice hissed from the shadows.

Lily jumped and drew her wand. She whispered Lumos and a bright light lit up the dark dungeon, revealing the owner of the voice. Severus Snape was seated on a stool next to her cauldron. Lily slightly lowered her wand, but only slightly.

"I could ask you the same question," she retorted.

Snape sneered, "Well it looks it like you're brewing wolfsbane. I wonder why you would need to brew such a temperamental and difficult potion. It's hardly a hobby."

Lily's response was cool. "Slughorn sent me the information on it over break. He thinks it would be good for me to try something more challenging." She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe he doesn't think you have the talent to take on something so difficult."

Snapes' jaw clenched. "If you choose to associate yourself with such filth, I can't stop you. But you better watch your back." He started towards the door, and Lily grabbed his arm.

She dropped her voice to a low snarl, digging her fingernails into his forearm, "According to you, _Snape_ , I already am filth. Or have you forgotten that I'm just a dirty, worthless _mudblood_?"

She released his arm and turned away. Snape was frozen for a moment, as if he wanted to say something else, but he turned and slammed the door behind him.

Lily breathed heavily, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat. She wondered what he meant when he told her to watch her back. She knew he wouldn't attack her, but she couldn't say the same for his friends. She tried not to think about it as she peered into her cauldron. As Slughorn had told her yesterday when she asked him to come evaluate it, it was perfect.

She carefully ladled it into a flask and tucked it into her bag. She left the dungeon and headed upstairs to the great hall for breakfast. Every sound made her jump, and she checked over her shoulder every couple of seconds.

She made her way into the Great Hall and sat down. It was still early, and breakfast hadn't been served yet, so she pulled out a book and began to read.

A while later, Mary entered the hall. She spotted Lily and sat down beside her, which caused Lily to jump violently and spill her glass of pumpkin juice.

"Jeez Lils, are you okay? What's got you so high strung?" Mary asked, a look of worry on her face.

Lily made a noncommittal gesture, dabbing at the juice now dribbling down the table "Oh you know, it was just quiet in here, and I wasn't paying attention."

"So why'd you get up so early?" Mary asked, grabbing some toast from the pile in front of her.

"I couldn't sleep. Came down to read so the light wouldn't wake you guys up"

Mary peered at her, and Lily could tell she didn't believe her, but luckily she didn't press the issue further. "Do you want to go over to the library after breakfast?"

Lily nodded, "Yeah, I'm hoping to get a lot of work done. If I get one more essay, I'll throw a fit."

"Who's throwing a fit?" Sirius asked as he sat down. He stole a piece of bacon off of Mary's plate.

She tried to snatch it back, but Sirius had already bitten one end off, "Me, if you don't stop stealing my food, Black. There's literally a plate of bacon right there, why do you have to steal it from me?"

Sirius screwed up his face into a pouty frown. "Because it tastes better when it's off your plate, Love" He kissed her on the cheek, which earned a swat from her, though she was laughing.

Lily discretely removed the flask from her bag, and slid it towards Remus, who had sat down next to her. He nodded at her once and slid it into his robes, undetected by the group.

They all sat and ate breakfast together, Peter and James joining them slightly later. They talked about their weekend plans and complained about their workload thus far. Lily and Mary finished their breakfast and headed towards the library.

They walked through the corridor, carrying their bags, which were packed full with all of their textbooks, quills, and many rolls of parchment for the essays they were planning to tackle. Mary spoke up, "I told Marlene last night that she could join us if she wanted, but I think she has quidditch practice this afternoon."

Lily nodded. the quidditch schedule was the same every year, but every year she was surprised that they started so early. She knew that James was an overzealous captain to say the least, so she couldn't be surprised.

They entered the library and found a table by the window, since it was a nice day. Mary leaned over and pushed the glass out a few inches, letting a nice breeze into the stuffy room. It smelled like crisp fall air.

Lily smiled and pulled out her Charms book, and also her Transfiguration book. Whenever Mary didn't have questions, she was going to try to work on her technique for transfiguring objects large objects into small, unsuspecting ones. Lily had a suspicion that everything they were learning, disillusionment charms, human transfiguration, antidotes, was the professors' way of preparing them for the war raging outside of the castle halls. It was worrisome, but Lily supposed that this was the best time to learn these things, rather than be caught unprepared when it really mattered.

"How long does a disillusionment charm last?" Mary asked, flipping through pages in her textbook.

"It depends on how well it was casted," Lily told her, looking over at her parchment. She had only written three lines.

Mary nodded and looked back down to her essay. Lily pulled out her wand and attempted some of the spells they had learned to transfigure themselves in class this past week. She waved her wand, muttering a spell, hoping to turn the chair next to her into a match.

It shrunk down to a large stick, but it was nowhere near a match.

Lily frowned, and looked back at the textbook. "Maybe it's my wand movement," she muttered. She started moving her wand around, muttering various spells to change the chair in front of her. She sighed and looked out of the window, feeling the light breeze on her face.

Past her reflection through the window she could see the Gryffindor team flying around on the pitch. She watched the tiny figures move around for a while before returning to her textbook.

* * *

James surveyed the people standing in front of him before turning back to face Marlene.  
"You'll play Keeper when we're trying to find a replacement chaser for Angela. When we're doing seeker tryouts, we're going to split into two groups, then I want to you distract them as much as possible. Hit bludgers their way, fly around them, you know. I only want a Seeker that can find the snitch in even the most ridiculous conditions." Marlene nodded and mounted her broom. "Alright, let's get out there."

He turned back to the small group of Gryffindors, some looking confident, others looking like they might puke.

"For those who are trying out for Chaser, you'll be trying to score against McKinnon." Marlene waved from her position in front of the golden hoops, and James smiled. "Smith, you're up."

Toby Smith stepped up, and James looked him over. He was a short fourth year with dark skin and a small afro. "Ready." James nodded, and Toby mounted his broom, flying up to the middle of the pitch, level with the goal.

James grabbed the quaffle and lifted off to meet him in the air. James did a few circles around him, attempting to confuse him before tossing him the quaffle. Toby grabbed it out of the air and whipped around to fly towards where Marlene was guarding the goal. He swooped to the third goal post and threw the quaffle. Marlene blocked it with her foot, but Toby nose dived to grab it and then flipped back around to make a goal in the farthest goal post, which Marlene was not currently guarding.

James nodded, impressed. Though McKinnon was mainly a Chaser, she wasn't a bad Keeper, so Toby scoring a goal was a good indication of his skill. He pointed his broom towards the ground, and grabbed the quaffle.

This time he recruited the Beaters, and attempted to make it difficult for Toby to make it to the goal. He had the beaters aim bludgers near him, he swirled his broom around him, and even bumped into him. Despite James' efforts, Toby stayed on course and managed to score two more goals out of three more attempts.

James returned to the ground. He still had three others wanting to try out for Chaser, but James didn't see the point. He knew he was going to pick Toby, but he had to give everyone a fair chance.

He sent the people there for Chaser to sit in the stands after the last person touched down, and then called over the Gryffindors there to try out for Keeper. There was Will Price in all of his smug bravado.

James and Marlene bombarded the prospective Keepers with increasingly difficult throws, causing them to dive and jump and flail to keep the quaffle from passing them. One kid fell off his broom at one point, but luckily Marlene was able to pull out her wand and slow his momentum so he didn't break anything. The poor kid was so scared though he left the pitch and didn't return.

The Keeper tryouts were fine, with no one astounding him or overly impressing him. He sent them to wait in the stands as well, though he saw that many of the people had already left.

James saved the most anticipated position for last. He needed a new Seeker, and there were very large shoes to fill. Their last Seeker, Marie, had the sharpest eye, and only didn't catch the snitch once, on account of being hit in the face with a bludger, with James shouldn't fault her for. He still did though.

He was worried about filling this position, mostly because it was arguable that many of the games James had won were because of her.

This showed in the trials he ran with the Gryffindors. He made it almost impossible to find the snitch, and when they did he did everything he could to keep them from catching it. Most of them failed every time, and those who did succeed only did so once or twice. It wasn't looking good.

James groaned and landed on the hard ground. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Tryouts were going on its fourth consecutive hour, and James was ready to call it quits. Marlene swooped down and landed next to him. "Give it a rest, mate. We're not the bloody cannons, okay? Just pick somebody so we can all get out of here."

James sighed and nodded. He called everyone down, "Alright, we're done. I'll let you know next week. It'll be posted on the board in the common room. Remember, if you agree to join this team, you're agreeing to three practices a week, with possible extras, if I see fit." Some people looked at him incredulously, "In addition I expect you to supplement these practices with outside work out regimens. We will have fitness tests once a month to make sure you're keeping up with it."

Sirius clapped him on the back, "Captain here runs a tight ship, on account of the large stick shoved ten feet up his ar-" James cut him off.

"You lot can go."

Several tired, dirty Gryffindors trudged up the hill back to the castle. James dismissed the rest of his team, then headed into the locker room. He splashed some cold water on his face and changed into his regular clothes. He did take Quidditch too seriously, he knew, but no one seemed to understand what was at stake.

Gryffindor had won the House Cup every year since James joined the team. James had never lost a game before. If he had a team that was anything less than a perfect coalition of excellent players, it could risk everything he had worked for. He also couldn't stand the fact that so many people would be disappointed in him.

He pulled his shirt over his head and trudged back up to the castle, thinking about tryouts. As much as he didn't want to, Will Price really was the best option for Keeper. Bloody git. Maybe he could keep him busy enough with quidditch so he wouldn't have time to flirt with Lily like he had been. Git.

James walked into the entrance hall and turned to climb the stairs to Gryffindor tower. He stopped in his tracks and slipped behind a pillar.

"You know what I mean, Snape."

"I know what you're insinuating, Avery. It doesn't mean I'm amenable to your proposal."

James rolled his eyes, Snape always talked like a such a pretentious little bugger.

"The Dark Lord thinks your services could be useful. Think it over. Then tell me what you decide."

"Do I really have a choice in this decision?" Snape retorted, his tone biting.

"No, not really." With that, Avery turned and headed down the stairs, walking right past James' hiding spot. James let him pass, then stepped out. Snape was still standing there, and James made an impulse decision. He walked up to him.

Snape's head bolted up, and he sneered at James, drawing his wand, "Eavesdropping, Potter?"

James shook his head, "Look, Snape, I'm not here to fight you. I heard what Avery said. You don't want to get mixed up in this stuff. I know we're not mates, but this is serious. You could get seriously hurt, or die. You should go to Dumbledore, he can protect you." James tried to be genuine. As much as he didn't like Snape, no one should be trying to join Voldemort.

Snape's jaw set. "I don't need your help, Potter. Or the help of a bumbling old man." James tensed at the insult towards Dumbledore. "I can figure things out just fine on my own. Though I suppose you just couldn't resist playing the hero again." Snape turned away, but James called out after him.

"She'll never forgive you if you do this." He knew he didn't have to say her name. Snape paused for moment, and it looked like he might have considered James' advice. A second later though he was hastily walking towards the dungeons.

James shook his head and headed towards Gryffindor tower. He climbed through the portrait hole with the intention of going right up to his dorm and falling asleep for an afternoon nap before dinner.

Will Price was sitting on the arm of the couch and Lily was seated next to him.

"Yeah, I'm sure James gets rather worked up over quidditch. Though if I had his record I'm sure I would too." Lily said, looking up at him.

Will laughed, and took the opportunity to place his hand on her shoulder. Git. "Really?'

"Yeah, has Gryffindor ever lost the Quidditch Cup since he has been in the team? I don't think they have. It would be crushing to lose, I'm sure."

James smiled. Will pushed on, "Yeah, sure. Whatever. Anyway, Hogsmeade is this weekend, would you fancy going with me?"

Lily looked visibly uncomfortable, "Well, I don't know, I sort of promised that I would go with my friends, and I haven't seen them so much with all of the work I've had, but maybe we could-"

She didn't finish. "She was planning on going with Peter anyways." James interjected as he strode over to where they were sitting, earning a confused look from Lily.

Will laughed, "Peter? Really? You could do so much better Lily,"

Lily looked offended, "Hey! Peter is a nice person! And he is best in the class at herbology! And we have a lot in common."

"Yeah alright well, maybe we'll see each other there, eh?" He walked towards the seventh years' dorm, and James plopped down next to Lily.

She turned to him, "You didn't have to do that." James shrugged, which earned a weird look from her. "Was Peter the best excuse?"

James laughed and ruffled his hair. "Well everyone knows Remus doesn't date, and I figured he wouldn't believe you going with Sirius, and I thought you might murder me if I said you were going with me."

Lily laugh. "I wouldn't murder you. Maybe just dismember you. Or let the acromantulas in the forest on you."

James eyes widened, "There are acromantulas in the forest?"

"Yeah, and I'm sure they like tall, handsome quidditch players. Good meat on your bones." She poked his arm.

James beamed, "So you think I'm handsome?"

Lily rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Easy, Potter."

"Not my fault you've got eyes for me, Evans." He stood up and started up the stairs.

"I do not have eyes for you!"

"Whatever you say!" He called over his shoulder.


	4. The Best Friend a Werewolf Can Have

"Go ahead."

Peter morphed into a rat, and scurried into the tunnel. Moments later the Whomping Willow stopped its thrashing, and James and Sirius were able to follow Peter in. James couldn't transform yet, as the tunnel was too small. They crawled down the winding tunnel, crouching when the ceiling drooped until they reached the part where it rose again in front of the door.

He transformed at the entrance, prepared to subdue Remus if need be. They made their way to the door and waited. They always waited until after Remus transformed, which was indicated by his wolf form aggressively attacking the door, begging to be released.

That didn't come, though. James looked at the others, confused. He cautiously pushed the door open with his hoof, and was not expecting what he saw. Remus' wolf form, which normally needed to be subdued until he recognized their scents and calmed down, was sitting calmly on the other side of the shack, serenely looking out the window.

James was bewildered. The wolf turned towards them and wagged his tail excitedly. He began to run towards the door, and out the tunnel. James' stag form looked at Padfoot and Wormtail, but then cautiously followed. James had to transform back in order to make it out, but immediately changed back once they reached the other side.

The wolf was sitting at the entrance to the tunnel, and once he saw the other three, he bounded towards the forest. James and the others followed caught up to him at the edge. The wolf began sniffing the ground, and started following a scent, which Padfoot picked up on easily. They began to chase after something and James ran after them, utterly confused.

They explored the forest for several hours, with James following behind Sirius and the wolf whenever they picked up on a scent. Peter had climbed into James back, his tiny rat claws gripping on the fur of his neck. There was know way he could keep up with the other three, and he might get eaten if he didn't.

Peter's Animagus form was quite inconvenient to the rest of the group, unfortunately. They reached a glade where the trees formed a circle and the wolf began rolling around on his back and snapping at the bugs that flew overhead.

James laid down and watched him, bewildered. Not once had he ever been this calm. Most nights they were chasing him through the trees, having to stop him from attacking the animals of the forest, but tonight he acted like Sirius did when he was in his dog form.

James couldn't complain though. It would be nice to not wake up with bruises and lumps tomorrow morning from having to fight him off.

The moon began its descent towards the horizon and they escorted him back to the Whomping Willow so he could transform back and wait for Madam Pomfrey.

Once he was securely inside, the other three changed back into their human forms and slipped under the cloak to return to the castle. They moved slowly, trying not to flash anyone's feet.

They remained silent on the way back, but as soon as they reached their dorm, James spoke up.

"What happened last night?" James asked, laying down on his bed. He was pleasantly not sore. Normally after a night of subduing Remus and running around the grounds he was beat.

Peter changed into a new t-shirt, "I have no idea, did Moony somehow figure out how to control it?"

"You can't control it though. What if that wasn't Moony?" Sirius asked.

"What are you talking about? Of course it was Moony," James said.

"He gets back to the hospital wing soon, we'll have to ask him then," Peter said as he laid down.

Soon they were all asleep still exhausted, despite the reprieve from the usual violence of the full moon. Their confusion and worry was forgotten as they all drifted into a deep sleep. Luckily it was a quiet Sunday morning and no one saw their absence as unusual.

Later, James woke up with a start. Sirius was snoring loudly, and Peter was curled up on the edge of his bed. He looked at the clock, which said it was noon. Remus would be leaving the hospital wing soon, if he hadn't already.

He got up and quietly left the dorm, heading towards the hospital wing. About halfway there he ran into Remus. He looked the best he had ever looked following a full moon.

James stopped and whispered,"What happened last night?"

Remus smiled softly and whispered back, "Lily"

"What?"

"Let's go get lunch, I'll explain on the way." He began walking down the stairs towards the Great Hall.

"What did Lily do? Is there some charm to keep you-" he hesitated, "In control?" he finished, walking alongside Remus, who had a bounce in his step.

"No, there's this potion, Wolfsbane. If you drink it the morning of the full moon, you keep your head during the transformation, and the side effects are lessened. I wasn't sick all of yesterday and I feel fine today. The best I've felt in a while actually." Remus was smiling. He did look the best he had ever seen him.

"So she just brewed this for you? Couldn't she get in trouble?" James asked. He wondered how Lily even found the time to brew it, considering her busy schedule.

"Yeah, she said she didn't care about getting in trouble. She said she just wanted to help." They entered the Great Hall. "Oh, there she is now, I'm going to go than-" Remus was cut off by James running across the hall to where Lily was sitting.

Lily felt the bench fall out from under her. Or rather, she was being lifted off of the bench by James Potter. She began kicking and squirming, trying to smack his arms. "Let me down Potter! I'll hex you!" He did no such thing, but rather spun her around and hugged her.

"You are the most wonderful, perfect, amazing friend anyone could have."

"What?" Lily asked, stopping her squirming.

"Remus told me what you did, and that's the best possible thing you could have done for him." James looked into her bright green eyes. Lily looked back, and saw sincerity in his hazel ones.

Remus appeared at James' side and said in a low whisper, "Lily, it worked perfectly, I don't know how to thank you."

"Maybe get this oaf to let me down?"

James set her down carefully. "Really Evans, you're incredible."

Lily looked around. "Don't make a scene." She leaned towards Remus whispering, "I'll have another dose by the full moon next month. I'm glad it worked." She smiled and returned to her seat.

James and Remus sat down a few paces down the table from her and began to serve themselves lunch.

Marlene looked around, confused, "What was that?"

Lily waved her hand, "I made Remus a pepper-up potion 'cause he had a cold. Apparently it worked well."

Marlene looked at her, suspicious. "Alright."

Lily quickly changed the subject. "How did Quidditch tryouts go yesterday?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Well James tried to kill all of us, but other than that it was fine. I think we found a really good replacement Chaser."

"Is Will Price going to be Keeper?" Lily asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"I mean he played the best, who knows what's going on in James' head though," Marlene said, shrugging her shoulders. She looked up. "Why?"

"I was just wondering," She paused and looked up. "He asked me to Hogsmeade, you know." Lily said, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

Marlene squealed, earning looks from most of Gryffindor table. She dropped her voice. "And what did you say?"

"Well it was awkward really, I wasn't sure and I was telling him I was going to hang out with you guys, and then Potter came and told him I was going with Peter."

James' ears pricked at the mention of his name. He leaned over to hear better.

"James told him you were going with Peter? Why?"

"I'm not sure, I guess he thought I wasn't interested in Will, so he was trying to make it less awkward? I don't know. I think it made it worse," Lily said, messing with her shirt sleeve.

James rolled his eyes, nothing could have made that exchange more awkward, he was honestly doing her a favor.

"Well did you want to say yes?" Marlene asked.

"Maybe, I don't know. I didn't want to go on a date. That would just be so awkward, but if we were all hanging out together, it could be fun. I was trying to hint at that, but again, Potter interrupted."

James was confused. He thought Lily was trying to shut down Will altogether. Then again James was biased. But Will is a git, and Lily should know that.

"Well how about I invite him to hang out with us, since I can use Quidditch." Marlene suggested

Lily looked up, "What do you mean?"

Lily nodded, blushing. "Yeah, that sounds casual, right? I don't want him to think it's anything serious, but, he is attractive. And tall and smart. I don't know." She smiled and took a sip of pumpkin juice. "I'll have to figure something out though, if he doesn't make the team." To which Marlene laughed.

James leaned back and thought about what he heard. He could just not put Will on the team. He shook his head, knowing that wouldn't work. As much as he didn't want Will asking out Lily, he wouldn't sacrifice his team's chances. Will was, unfortunately, the best Keeper. James stood up abruptly and left the great hall.

"Where are you going?" Sirius called out after him.

James called back over his shoulder, still chewing a bit of his sandwich. "I gotta do Quidditch stuff"

He exited the Great Hall, flashing a grin at Marlene and Lily.

"You have lettuce hanging out of your mouth, James!" Marlene called after him.

He waved her off and finished chewing his sandwich as he ascended the staircase. He walked back to Gryffindor tower and sat down in the common room. He grabbed some scrap

parchment left over on one of the tables and wrote "Gryffindor Quidditch Team" on the top in bold script.

The first name he wrote was Toby as Chaser, which was obvious. He reluctantly wrote down Will's name for Keeper, followed by Hannah Branch, who was the person that came out best during the Seeker trials. She managed to get the Snitch twice and not fall off of her broom, which was more than James could say for the others. He was confident that if she could do decently in the trials James put her through, she would be a pretty good Seeker.

He sighed and sat back, thinking about Lily. How many people did he know that would brew a complicated potion that took a week and a half to finish on top of all of their other school work, just to make a friend's life a little easier. She was such a selfless person, and she was friends with everyone. She couldn't walk down a corridor without at least three people saying hello and two people stopping to chat.

Yet she wasn't friends with him. He felt a pang in his chest when he realized that. He really was trying to be just friends with her at this point. Obviously he wanted her to consider going out with him, but he just wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to have what her and Sirius have, where she could just be comfortable with him. He knew that even though he stopped asking her out, she was still keeping her guard up around him. She still called him Potter.

A first year came through the portrait hole and waved excitedly when he saw him. He smiled, he was somewhat of a legend among the younger kids, which only fed his ego. That pulled him from his thoughts. He stood up, attaching the piece of parchment to the board to his right. He went to the dormitory to grab his books. He had to go to the library to finish all of the ridiculous homework their teachers had been piling, as he hadn't done any work this weekend.

He entered the library and saw Lily sitting in the corner, absentmindedly tracing a line on her parchment, with her transfiguration book open next to her. She looked up as he walked past and he smiled back at her before selecting a table on the other side of the room. She gave him a confused look, but went back to reading her book.


	5. Death By Bubblebath

It was Monday morning, and the student body was begrudgingly returning to class. Lily had finished her breakfast, and was heading down to herbology with Peter.

"So this semester we're going to be working with a lot more complicated plants. There's one that is like a huge Venus Fly Trap. It could eat a first year," Peter said excitedly.

Lily laughed, "And you're excited about that?"

Peter contorted his face. "Well not that part, but I'm excited to study cool stuff."

"You got an O on this owl, right?"

Peter looked down, abashed, "Yeah, the only O I got."

"That's still awesome, Pete, I bet Professor Sprout loves you," Lily said, holding the door open to the greenhouse and stepping in.

The humidity immediately hit Lily, as well as a mixture of smells of damp earth and flowery perfume. Herbology wasn't her favorite subject, but it was fun to be in the greenhouse sometimes. It didn't require much thought, and it was nice to just plant things for an hour. Lily barely paid attention, which gave her time to think about other things.

She was thinking a lot about the events of the past few days. She was confused about Will. She wasn't sure if she wanted to do anything with him, but she did think he was cute. And he was always nice to her.

"Lily can you hand me that trowel?" Peter asked, trying to get her attention.

Lily jumped, "Right! Sorry." She handed off the tool and immediately got lost in her thoughts again. It was going to be a long day.

She and Peter finished Herbology and washed the dirt out from under their fingernails in the sink in the corner. They walked back up to the castle to get to their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She saw Alice about to walk up the staircase and she jogged to catch up with her, losing Peter in the crowd behind her.

She caught up to her and Alice smiled at her. "How is Ancient Runes going?" She asked as they ascended.

"Oh it's alright. I feel like I probably won't continue in seventh year though. Everything else I'm taking seems useful, but this is just kind of…" She trailed off, but Lily didn't need her to continue. She understood. Everything that wasn't aimed at teaching them how to protect themselves seemed trivial. Lily knew this was a morbid and awful thought, but it was hard to translate runes when you hear about another Muggle family killed every day in _The Prophet_.

Lily shook her head, trying not to think about such dark things. She changed the subject. "You know, I heard that we get to study Thestrals this year in Care of Magical Creatures."

"Won't that be hard, since most people can't see them?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, but you can feel them, and people who have seen them can describe them or draw them." Lily thought about it for a moment. "I wonder, if someone who can see thestrals takes a picture of them, will they show up in the picture? Or will it be like a vampire? Or will people who can see them see the picture, but the people who can't, can't?"

Alice looked confused. "I never thought about that. Maybe we can ask Professor Kettleburn when we start to study them," she said. They walked further until reaching the bottom of the last staircase before the landing where their classroom was. The crowd was gone and they were alone.

Lily started to say something else, but she was interrupted when her legs fell out from under her. Her knee forcefully made contact with the sharp edge of the marble stair in front of her, and it started pouring blood. She crawled to the bannister and pulled herself up with difficulty. Her knee was in searing pain, and looked down at it, only to feel a burning sensation on her arm. She yelped and looked up to see Mulciber pointing his wand at her.

She pulled her wand and silently disarmed him, catching his wand with ease. It was a moment before Mulciber realized what happened, and his facial expression changed from smug to furious.

"Give that back, you filthy Mudblood bitch!" He spat at her.

Lily arrogantly twirled his wand in her non occupied hand. "Such language Mulciber, maybe you ought to wash out your mouth." She flicked her wand again and bright pink soap bubbles exploded from his mouth, causing him to cough violently.

Avery started towards her, "You little whore, you think you can-" His threat was cut short by Alice easily disarming him.

Alice was standing, wand raised, ready to strike at Avery should he come any closer. Lily tried to move towards her, but had to grip the bannister to keep from falling. Her knee couldn't support any of her weight without searing pain.

She moved her wand again to bind Mulciber in ropes to keep him from moving. She was about to do the same to Avery, but was stopped by a resounding bang and a flash of light. James Potter had run onto the scene and hexed Avery so he was thrown into the wall behind him. He then cast a full body bind on him once he slumped down the wall.

He turned to Lily "Are you alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes, Potter. We had already handled the situation before you showed up to play the hero."

James felt the sting of that insult, which Snape had used just the other day. "I wasn't playing the hero, Evans, I just wanted to make sure that you guys were alright."

"We all know you need a pureblood to fight your battles for you, Evans. You're too weak to fight on your own." Mulciber spat.

Lily silenced him with a flick of her wand, "Mulciber I _literally_ just disarmed you, made soap bubbles almost choke you, and rendered you completely useless, all without speaking a word. If your "pure" blood is so valuable then why can't you beat a weak little _Mudblood_ like me?"

Alice and James both exclaimed, "Don't say that!"

Lily shrugged, "Alice, will you go get McGonagall? I'm going to the hospital wing. Thanks, Potter, but your services are no longer needed." She let go of the bannister and took a step in the direction of the hospital wing, but cried out in pain and almost fell again. James' strong arms caught and stabilized her.

"I don't need your help," She said out of the corner of her mouth to him.

"Alright," James said, letting go of her. She tried to take another step, but fell against the bannister, gripping it tightly.

"Okay, maybe I do." She glared at him.

"Hey don't be mad at me! I think your knee is broken, love." He reached out to grab her waist, pulling her closer to him to support her weight against him.

She scowled, "Don't call me 'love'. How am I going to get to the hospital wing?"

"I can carry you." James made to pick her up, but Lily pushed his arm away.

"You're not going to carry me."

"Do you have any better options?"

Lily's brow furrowed. James could levitate her there, but who knows how good he would be at keeping her leg stable while she was loose in the air. She tried to think of other options, but was interrupted by James easily lifting her up bridal style.

"Put me down!" She was trying to wriggle free of his arms, but he held her tight. She had to stop, as the movement caused pain to shoot up her leg. She sucked air in through her teeth.

"Listen, Evans. I know you don't like me. I know you don't want me holding you. But your knee is broken and if we do anything else it's going to screw it up more, okay? So stop squirming and pretend like I'm David Bowie."

Lily looked at him, "How do you know who David Bowie is?"

James looked straight ahead, not making eye contact. "I do listen to you, you know." Lily gave him a peculiar look. "And Peter loves him too," he added, and Lily nodded.

James carried her to the hospital wing. Lily tried to keep a steady face, but every step James took jostled her and sent shockwaves of pain up her leg. James noticed this and walked as smoothly as he could until they reached the entrance to the hospital wing. He stepped in and laid her gently on the closest bed to the door. James made to go to the office, but Madam Pomfrey came out before he reached it and gasped at the sight of Lily's blood covered, bruised, and mangled leg.

James turned back towards Lily, and walked with Madam Pomfrey back to her bed. "She hit it on the stairs after some Slytherins hexed her, Poppy."

Lily looked at him, confused. Why was he referring to Madam Pomfrey by her first name? And why did she accept it?

Madame Pomfrey tsked. "Well it's definitely broken dear, and that's a nasty gash you have there. It shouldn't take too long to heal, but you'll definitely miss class for the rest of the day." She handed Lily a rag, which she pressed against her still bleeding knee. Madam Pomfrey turned away and hustled back to her office. There were noises of clanking and clinking emitting from it for the next moments.

James pulled a chair over to her bedside and sat down next to her bed, propping his feet up on the end of it.

"You can go now, Potter." Lily said, attempting to push his feet off with her good leg.

James grinned and readjusted his feet. "Now is that a way to talk to your knight in shining armor?"

Lily looked down, abashed, "I'm sorry. Thank you very much for helping me. I'm not sure what I would have done if you didn't. But I meant you can go back to class now."

"And miss a chance to skive off? Never." He winked, to which Lily rolled her eyes. His expression become serious. "Did you really do all of that non-verbally?"

Lily looked away, playing with the edge of the sheet. "Yeah."

"That was some intense magic to be doing non-verbally. Those soap bubbles took Mulciber out."

Lily laughed. "Death by bubble bath."

James laughed. "I'm serious, how'd you get so good at casting non-verbal spells?"

Lily shrugged, "I don't know, I think they're easier than regular ones when you're in the moment. Don't have to worry about saying the right thing." James looked at her, incredulous. She was so nonchalant about this. Even he hadn't mastered nonverbal spells.

Madame Pomfrey came bustling back with a potion and a salve. "Okay Miss Evans, drink this. It's not pleasant, but it gets the job done. And you might want to hold on to something while I set the bone back."

James immediately grabbed Lily's hand, and before she could pull it back she cried out in pain and squeezed his hand so hard he thought he was going to cry out as well.

She started to rub the salve on her knee, and it immediately stopped bleeding. "Sorry dear, it's a painful process. But you should be able to walk normally by this evening." She turned to James,

"I guess it's no use asking you to leave, huh?"

James grinned and shook his head, to which Madam Pomfrey shook her head and departed, returning to her office.

"How come you get to stay? One time Mary was in here and she kicked me out after 30 seconds!" Lily protested.

"I've been in here enough with Remus that she knows what a stubborn git I am."

"The entire school knows you're a stubborn git," Lily said, rolling her eyes. She looked down and realized she was still holding his hand. She pulled it back rapidly.

James withdrew his hand as well, "Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, sorry, I needed, sorry, I mean-" Lily looked away, "Thank you."

James nodded. "Look I can go if you want me to. I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to die or anything."

Lily looked at him, "No it's, it's fine. You can stay. You can tell me a funny Marauders story so I don't get too bored."

James grinned, "Well I do have plenty of those." He launched into a wild account of the time he and Sirius attempted to coax a unicorn out of the Forbidden Forest and bring it to the castle, which resulted in Peter getting impaled and having to be rushed to the hospital wing.

Lily nodded along, half listening. She was mostly preoccupied with what Snape had said. She really did need to watch her back.

* * *

That evening, Lily was still in the hospital wing, though James had left a while earlier to head to dinner. He offered to bring her up something, but she politely refused. She was sitting quietly, reading through her Transfiguration book without really absorbing the words. She was mostly waiting on Madam Pomfrey to let her leave.

She hadn't emerged from her office in a while though, so Lily resigned herself to studying until she was released.

She wanted to go lay in bed and sleep. She also wanted to cry a bit too. She hated the fact that Mulciber and Avery had caught her off guard like that. She knew things would change now. If things had gotten to the point where they didn't mind attacking her and shouting slurs in broad daylight, it was sure to get worse.

She had a suspicion that they had only refrained in the past because her friendship with Severus had protected her. She knew his Slytherin friends didn't like her, but she never thought they would be so violent and hateful. The other Slytherins she knew were cordial and were never unkind to her. They weren't mates, but they would never attack her.

Though Lily didn't want to admit it, she knew that Mulciber, Avery, and some of the other Slytherins were getting involved with the war and the Dark Lord. It worried her that his influence was so far reaching that he was able to get students to do his bidding. It was only a matter of time before this manifested into something bigger and caused real havoc.

She shuddered and tried to push the thought out of her head.

As if she knew what Lily was thinking, Madam Pomfrey came out at that moment. She bustled over to her, "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Just fine," she replied sweetly.

"Well you can go. If it starts to hurt again, just come back and I'll give you some more potion for the pain." She helped Lily stand up, made sure she was steady as she walked out, then returned to her office.

"Thank you," Lily said as she headed out the door. Her leg was stiff, but entirely healed. Magic never ceased to amaze her.

Lily trudged up the stairs to her dorm, thoroughly worn out. She couldn't wait to lay down in her own bed and go to sleep.

She pushed open the door and was met by four girls abruptly turning towards her and firing questions.

Marlene's voice was the loudest and carried over the others. "What the hell happened?"

Lily shrugged, which made all of the girls yell in frustration. She crossed the room to her bed and laid down, "Mulciber and Avery attacked me, but I'm fine."

"Fine?!" Mary screeched, "Your blood was literally all over the staircase!"

"Seriously, Lils how can you be so calm about this?"

That struck a chord in Lily. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but she hastily blinked them away. She was not one to let people see her cry. She sighed. "I'm not calm. I'm just as furious as you all are, and I'm scared that we're going to have to be on guard all of the time, but I physically do not have the energy to do anything about it right now."

She flipped over and looked at her roommates looking down on her, "Also, I handled it just fine. I'm fine now." She kicked her leg back and forth, "See? Nothing's wrong."

"What is going to happen to them?" Anna quietly asked. Lily looked at her. She had forgotten that Anna was Muggleborn too. She was probably having the same fears as Lily, and was scared that she may be a target, too. Lily felt for her in that moment, and she wished there was something she could say to make both Anna's and her own fears disappear.

"I'm sure just detention. Dumbledore is always way too lenient on people. He thinks they can change," Alice commented, her bitterness evident in her voice.

"They never will," Marlene commented dryly, returning to her bed.

Lily nodded and climbed under the covers, still wearing her school shirt and skirt. She was too tired to deal with that or anything else right now.

Despite her exhaustion, she couldn't seem to sleep. From here on out she was going to have to watch out, to always be on guard, be prepared for anything that they may throw at her. In the darkness of the dorm and the safety behind the curtains of her bed, a few stray tears slipped out, sliding into her hair and onto her pillow.

* * *

Almost a week had passed since the incident, and nothing too serious had occurred. However, Lily wasn't wrong about her prediction. The story of her duel had permeated throughout the student body, giving some students the confidence to be more vocal about their beliefs. At least once a day someone in a corridor would hiss "mudblood" as they passed, and her and her fellow Muggleborns were the subject of more taunts and hexes than before.

Lily remained calm and did what she could to stop them, but it seemed to penetrate every house, even her own. But she couldn't worry too much about it, as today was the first Quidditch match: Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor.

Though she had never cared for Quidditch much, Lily was making a point to go to this game, mostly because she was slightly afraid that being alone in the castle would leave her vulnerable, but also because she wanted to show people that she was not going to be deterred by a few insults.

She came down to sit at Gryffindor table next to Mary, Marlene, and Alice. She grabbed some toast and listened to them talk. A few moments later they were interrupted by almost all of the Marauders joining them.

Mary leaned over. "Where is your faithful leader on this fine morning?"

Sirius looked offended. "I'm pretty sure I'm the leader of this group. But Prongs is doing his pregame ritual. He's doing it because he's afraid that everyone will be rubbish and also he's really superstitious."

Peter sat down next to him. "Yeah before every Quidditch game he has to run around the pitch 7 times, touch all of the rings 3 times, and then do 42 push ups."

Lily and Mary gaped at him. Mary broke the silence first. "You're joking."

Marlene shook her head. "Nah, he's straight up bonkers. But he's never lost a game, so I'm assuming it works."

"He's never lost a game?" Lily asked.

"Never. That's why his head is so big," Peter said after he grabbed a sausage and began to cut it.

"Well you know what they say, big head, big-" Sirius was interrupted by Mary smacking his arm.

"You would know that Lils if you went to a game more than once a term," Remus said, laughing.

"What, that James has a big-"

"HE MEANS THAT HE'S NEVER LOST A GAME, MARLENE!" Lily shouted, blushing profusely. Everyone started laughing, which made Lily blush even more.

At that moment James sauntered up to the table, sweating slightly. "Are you shouting about my perfect record, Evans? Who would have known you'd be so excited about it?" He grinned a wide smile, flashing his perfect white teeth.

Lily made a face and looked down at her breakfast. James ruffled his hair and smiled down at her before looking at his teammates across from her, and grabbing some toast "Padfoot, McKinnon, you ready to head down to the pitch?"

They both nodded and stood up, Lily looked up, "Good luck, love!" she called after them.

James turned around. "Love you too, Lily," he said, winking at her.

Lily scowled, "I was talking to Marlene. You'll be lucky if your broom can lift that fat head of yours."

James laughed and turned back towards the door to head down towards the pitch. It was a perfect day for Quidditch. It was sunny, but not too hot, and there was a light breeze in the air. Not enough to affect the trajectory of the Quaffle, but enough to keep his team cool.

He went into the locker room to find most of his team already there. He cleared his throat.

"Alright. As you all know, we have been training hard for this." This earned several glares from the team. James would admit, he might have overdone it. He had them practice four times a week, usually for three to four hours each. It was a miracle they hadn't marooned him. He looked around. "Alright, alright, you've been working your asses off. But it will pay off, I promise. Hufflepuff has a good team this year, but we have a phenomenal team." He smiled, then immediately got serious, "And remember, if any of you cause my record to be broken, I will kill you. Not joking."

He smiled again, "Alright let's go." and headed out of the tent into the bright sun.

He walked to the middle of the field and shook Amos Diggory's hand. They both kicked off and waited for the quaffle to be thrown.

Diggory was faster and got the ball before James could. He zoomed towards their goal and James followed him closely. He threw it towards the goal, but Will caught it and tossed to Toby. Gryffindor cheered and he saw Lily in the stands, cheering. He smiled. Usually Lily didn't come to games.

He followed Toby, dodging a Bludger that flew across the pitch. Toby zoomed under the keeper and lodged the quaffle through the middle hoop. James swooped down and grabbed it before it reached the ground, then threw it to Marlene. Marlene immediately made another on the goal, and the Keeper was too slow to follow the fast play. She made it in the leftmost goal.

Gryffindor cheered loudly at the double play. Hufflepuff gained possession and tried to make it to their goal post again, but James flew in front of their Chaser, causing him to stop rapidly and swerve left to avoid a collision. Sirius lodged a Bludger in their direction, and out of fear the Hufflepuff dropped down, losing the Quaffle as he did. Marlene flew under him, catching the Quaffle. James had to do a sloth roll to avoid the bludger that Sirius sent, but he recovered quickly.

The students cheered wildly at that and James grinned, loving the attention. Marlene turned around and threw James the Quaffle, which he caught and made in the left goal post, scoring yet another goal.

They were killing it. At this rate, Hufflepuff would be out of the running for the Quidditch Cup entirely.

Unfortunately Hufflepuff scored against them, as Will missed the Quaffle thrown at the right goal post by centimeters. James grabbed the Quaffle and sped towards the other side of the field. He swerved to avoid a Bludger, but didn't notice Marlene on his left.

The bludger missed him and headed straight towards Marlene. Due to James' body blocking her vision of it, she didn't see it as it came her way. James looked back to try to warn her, but it was too late.

Sirius dove in and jumped off his broom, holding on with one hand and beating away the bludger at the last second. It just barely missed Marlene's face.

The stands went wild and Sirius waved, still hanging on with one hand. Marlene flew under him and helped him get back on his broom.

In the commotion, the Hufflepuff Keeper was distracted, and James easily scored in the middle hoop.

He pulled back and Toby intercepted a pass between the Hufflepuff Chasers. He tried to score but the Keeper was ready and smacked it away. One of their Chasers caught it and flew to the Gryffindor goal.

He tossed it, but Will palmed it as it passed, which earned several raucous cheers. James noticed Lily cheering loudly.

He threw it to James and he flew to the other side of the field. He saw Hannah dive, and thought maybe she had seen the Snitch. He tried for a goal but it was beaten away. He heard a large groan from the stands and whipped around to see Hannah flying back up, chasing a golden flash of light, and the Hufflepuff seeker was on the ground, trying to remount his broom.

Hannah reached out, grabbing the Snitch. Her rapid redistribution of weight made her broom flip and she spiraled out of control for a moment, but then recovered and held the small golden ball high.

The Gryffindor stands erupted and Hannah waved excitedly at them. The Hufflepuff fans groaned.

James flew by the Gryffindor stands on his way to ground, smiling and grinning. He made eye contact with Lily and winked.

She mouthed "Prat" at him and he laughed before heading downwards to land.


	6. A Perfect Gentleman

"And of course Hannah was just absolute aces. Did you see that fake dive? That Hufflepuff went straight for the ground!"

"Yes, I was there." Lily rolled her eyes. Everyone, and she meant everyone, would not stop talking about the Quidditch match. Even her complete lack of interest couldn't stop her from seeing how good the match was, but she wished people would get over it already. Especially since it was now interfering with her brewing time.

James, oblivious to his potion partner's disdain for the subject, continued to ramble. "And when Sirius saved that bludger from hitting McKinnon? Practically fell off his broom, but it probably would have bashed her face in, she was lucky he-"

Lily cut him off, "James. It was a good game, I know. Can we get back to making the potion though?"

James frowned. "Yeah," he said quietly. He looked over at her, then down at her hands, which were lightly holding onto a yellow root. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm adding the yarrow root. The textbook says to thinly slice it, but I think I'll mince it. It'll release more of the juice and be less fibrous, letting it cook into it better," Lily said, biting her lip and carefully surveying the yellow root on the table in front of her. She poked it with her knife, as though she was was testing how sturdy it was.

James furrowed his brow. "Shouldn't we follow the book? I don't want my cauldron exploding like Finnigan's always is." He looked over to the sixth year Hufflepuff. She added something to her cauldron and it spit a yellow liquid back at her, causing Slughorn to run over and clean up the mess. James shook his head and looked back at Lily, who had barely noticed anything. "Poor girl. Merlin help her kids when they get to Hogwarts."

Lily smiled and looked up, "Don't you trust me?" She winked and looked down to begin cutting the root.

James felt his heart jump to his throat. Lily could do the smallest things and it would leave him thinking about her for hours. Last week she leaned across the table and her torso brushed against his arm and he felt like he was explode. Any time she said anything cheeky or even gave him a funny look, his palms started to sweat and he'd be at a loss for words.

James cleared his throat, and ruffled his hand through his hair. "I mean, I guess. But if this goes badly I'm using use you as a human shield."

"I wouldn't expect anything less, Potter" She dropped in the freshly minced root, which caused the potion to steam for a few moments and then turn the desired pale pink. She turned back to him and smirked smugly.

After he had helped Finnigan clean up and repair the remnants of her cauldron, Slughorn walked by and stopped to look into their cauldron. He clucked, nodding at her approvingly. "Well done Miss Evans! I daresay switching to Mr. Potter here has been an improvement!"

Lily beamed and looked up at him. "I've been trying to show her that for years, Professor," James interjected, chuckling slightly.

"Ah, he's cheeky like you Miss Evans! A good match you are." Slughorn said, winking at the pair of them.

There was a loud shattering noise and Lily looked up to see Snape holding the remnants of a glass jar, with several dead beetles at his feet and on his table.

"Oh! Watch yourself there, Severus! You have to have a delicate grip with these old jars," Slughorn said, waving his wand to clean up the mess.

Snape was looking at Lily, and Lily glared back. She turned back to her potion and made a point to scoot closer to James and laugh more than she normally would at his jokes. She had no problem using him to piss off Snape, and she was sure James wouldn't mind pissing him off either.

James looked at Snape. He must have gotten angry whenever Slughorn said they'd make a good match. Slughorn was right, though.

Lily scooted closer to him, and he could smell her flowery scent, either from shampoo or a perfume. He knew that she was doing to irritate Snape, but as he felt their arms brush against each other and as he heard Lily's sweet laugh, he couldn't bring himself to care that much.

"Any plans for Halloween?" Lily's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Uh yeah, I think me and the boys are going to throw a little Halloween bash after the feast," James said, ruffling his hand through his hair.

Lily nodded, "I figured. Let's hope Sirius doesn't get pissed and try to dance on a table again."

"Lils, you enjoyed that and you know it!" Sirius called from his table next to them, "No one can resist this hot body!"

Lily laughed hard, the image of Sirius attempting to dance seductively to one of her Muggle records coming easily to mind. It wasn't something you could forget.

"No one can," Remus echoed quietly, and Sirius clapped him on the back and grinned at him. They all returned to their potions. James looked out of the corner of his eye at Lily, who was once again biting her lip as she read through the book. Occasionally she would lightly mouth the words, her pink lips parting slightly with each syllable. Damn.

"Would you want to come?" James asked, realizing it was a stupid question as soon as he said it.

"Well it is where I live, Potter. I can't imagine I have much choice in the matter," Lily said, smirking.

"Yeah." He nodded, "See you there." She looked up and smiled and he lost his breath for a second. He silently begged his heart to stop pounding so hard. He was even more nervous today than he normally is around her. He blamed it on the close proximity and the fact she had touched him more in the last hour than she had in all six years of knowing him.

She finished the potion and carefully ladled it into a vial she procured from her bag at their feet. She labeled it neatly with their initials and set it on Slughorn's desk. When she turned back around, James was watching her, holding her bag up for her to grab.

"Ready for Defense?" She asked. James nodded and the four of them left the dungeons and walked up the several staircases to their classroom.

* * *

"Do you think this skirt is too slutty?" Mary was looking down at her black skirt, which came down to her mid thigh.

Lily laughed, "No? It's fine. Why are you getting so dressed up for Hogsmeade?"

Marlene came back into the room from the bathroom with a toothbrush still in her mouth.  
"'Cause she's hot for Sirius."

"Shut up, Marlene!" Mary yelled. Marlene smirked and returned to the bathroom.

"Is that true Mary? Are you actually interested in Sirius?" Lily asked, looking at Mary twirling in the mirror.

She giggled, "Maybe…"

Lily was confused. For some reason, she was thinking that Sirius wouldn't be interested in her. Not because Mary wasn't desirable. Mary had shiny hair, big blue eyes, and really slender, long legs.

She wasn't sure why, but Sirius hadn't really been seeing anyone for the past year or so. Before he was always flirting, always taking girls out to Hogsmeade, but lately he hadn't even mentioned a girl's name. Maybe Mary would change that though.

"Are you excited about Will?" Mary asked.

"I don't know. I'm worried it's going to be awkward. I hope that since it'll be in a big group it won't be, but I just hope he doesn't think that this is going to like, turn into a big thing," Lily shrugged, not sure if she was articulating her point well.

"Well don't write him off. It could turn into something nice," Alice said from her spot on her bed.

Lily nodded. Once Marlene returned to the room they headed downstairs and out of the Great Hall to walk towards Hogsmeade. They were going to meet Will at the Three Broomsticks. Although others weren't technically invited, Lily was sure James and the other Gryffindors would show up.

The late October air was chilling, and Lily hugged her arms around herself. She was wearing a blue jumper and a black scarf. She refused to wear her Gryffindor scarf because of how the color so ridiculously clashed with her hair.

She was glad when they reached the warmth of the Three Broomsticks. They looked around for a moment until they spotted the Marauders and Will sitting in a corner booth, one of the ones that wrapped all of the way around into a semi-circle. It was already small, and four more people were not going to improve the situation.

They walked over, and Alice did an awkward shuffle to get behind Lily so that she would slide in next to Will. They all ended up being very crowded, and Lily was pressed up against him.

James, of course, saw this and was irritated.

"Got you a butterbeer, Lils," Will said, sliding a pint her way.

"What, nothing for the rest of us, Will? How rude," Alice said, then smiled at him. Her and Marlene stood up and headed to the bar, while Mary slid in closer to Sirius.

Sirius made to scoot closer in to make room for her, but just ended up being squished between her and Remus.

Lily accepted the mug and took a sip. "Thank you, Will. Congratulations on making the Quidditch team, by the way. I actually went to the last game, and you played really well."

Will laughed, "Thanks, I was terrified of our captain murdering me if I didn't."

"Fear works well, Price," James said from the other side of the table.

"I think I'd rather be loved than feared, though," Lily said thoughtfully. James smiled at her.

"You are loved, Lily, everyone loves you," Sirius commented.

"That's true, I couldn't find a person at Hogwarts with anything mean to say about you," Will said, placing his arm around her shoulders and giving her a light squeeze. Both James and Lily frowned.

"Well I could think of a couple, considering I did just get attacked a few weeks ago." Everyone tensed and took a drink or looked away to avoid the awkward topic. Luckily Alice and Marlene returned with pints of butterbeer for themselves and Mary. Marlene gave Lily a nod, which Lily knew meant she noticed Will's arm around her shoulder.

He smelled like clean laundry, but she wasn't sure if she liked having his arm around her. She didn't say anything though, since she had already made things awkward enough.

"So you all are throwing a Halloween party?" Will asked, speaking to the Marauders.

"Yeah, we're going to smuggle in firewhiskey and butterbeer, and we have a few tricks up our sleeves for making it a wild night," Peter said, smirking. He loved bragging about the Marauders adventures and conquests.

"You mean _we_ have some tricks up our sleeves, Wormtail. You're just here to hang the decorations," Sirius said, laughing. Peter looked down and nodded sheepishly.

Lily turned to look at Remus to her left."Remus! You're a prefect!" Lily exclaimed.

"Do you honestly think I could stop it if I tried? I'm just going to supervise and make sure no one gets too wild," Remus said, shrugging. Lily frowned.

"Ah come on Lils, we're not hurting anyone. If anything we're improving morale! In fact, I'm sure some of the seventh years would hurt themselves if we didn't throw this party. Everyone needs to blow off some steam, since the teachers think assigning seven hours of homework a night isn't some sort of cruel and unusual punishment," Sirius said, dramatically exaggerating his words to emphasize his point.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You all are ridiculous."

"You can chaperone, Lily. Make sure no one gets hurt." Marlene said, taking a sip of her butterbeer.

"Why do I always have to be the responsible one?" Lily said, crossing her arms and fake pouting. This earned laughs from everyone.

"Do you really think any of us could be the responsible one? We're a bunch of wild youths," Mary said, still laughing.

"I'm a wild youth!" Lily protested, which earned even more laughs from the group. She couldn't blame them. Any time there was a party or shenanigans, she actively avoided it. She also would come around after parties and conjure glasses of water and waste baskets to set next to everyone.

She would also help the house elves clean, but they didn't need to know that.

"Lily you wouldn't know what wild was if it bit you on the nose," Remus teased.

"Well maybe I'll go wild at this party just to prove you all wrong," Lily said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"Now that's something I'd like to see," Will said, laughing. Lily shifted closer to him, which caused him to smile at her.

"Would anyone like to come to Scrivenshaft's with me? I need some more ink," Lily said, looking at Alice next to her, who was blocking her exit from the booth.

"I'll go, I need a new quill. Charlie's cat ate mine." Will said, scooting out of the booth after Lily.

"Oh I'll come too I need-OW!" Mary was interrupted by Marlene not-so-subtly kicking her under the table. Marlene gave her a meaningful look. "Nevermind, I forgot my gran is sending me more parchment soon."

Lily gave her a weird look, but her and Will exited the pub into the chilly October air.

Marlene got up to sit on the other side of the booth, giving everyone more room. Mary faced her, "What the hell was that?"

"You just tried to invite yourself to the only alone time Lily and Will are going to have today, I had to shut you up!" Marlene retorted.

"You didn't have to kick me so hard though," she said, reaching under the table to rub her shin, which now had a sizeable bruise blossoming under her tights. "And how do you know she wanted to be alone? Maybe she was asking so someone else could go with her."

"Why would she ask to go to Scrivenshaft's before even finishing her drink though? And she knew Will needed a new quill. His was strewn about the common room last night."

"Well she does need ink," Remus provided, "She ran out on Thursday and had to use some of mine."

Marlene threw her hands up in frustration, "Whatever! Will asked her to Hogsmeade for a reason, and it wasn't to hang around all day with you lot."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure he has quite a few other reasons," which resulted in Remus lightly pushing him after seeing James' face. He backtracked, "Like getting her charms notes, I'm sure. Besides, she looked uncomfortable the whole time, anyways." He looked at James out of the corner of his eye. James was trying to seem impartial to the whole affair. Lily didn't want to date him, and she was free to do what she wanted.

Outside in the chilly late-October air, Lily and Will walked towards the school supply shop together. Will was walking close to her and his hand bumped into hers occasionally. His hands were slightly calloused, which she assumed were from the years of riding a broom, but they weren't too rough. Every time they touched her heart fluttered a bit. She wasn't sure if she was nervous or excited, but she liked spending time with Will. He was very sweet and smart and kind.

He held open the door to Scrivenshaft's for her and she stepped into the warmth. She loved coming in here and seeing all of the shiny bottles of ink and newly sharp quills. She reveled in the smell of the new parchments and spent too much time flipping through all of the books.

"Wotcher, Lily, how is school going?" The shopkeeper asked her, coming out from behind the counter at the sound of the bell. She came in here so often and spent enough time in here enough that everyone who worked there knew her by name.

"It's going quite well, thank you for asking!" She smiled back at him. "I'm actually looking to buy some more ink. With all of the essays my professors are assigning I've run through three bottles already," she lamented.

He laughed and shook his head, "I remember those sixth year days. I have just the thing for you actually! We just got it in." He rifled around under the counter for a minute before pulling out a shiny black bottle. "It's a new type of ink that lasts longer." He pulled out a quill and a scrap of parchment, and dipped the tip of the quill so just the very tip was slightly wet with the black ink. "Look how much this little drop can write." He swirled the quill over the parchment for seven lines, and yet there was still ink on the quill left to write more.

Lily brightened. "That's wonderful! How much is it?"

"Only 5 sickles a bottle. Do you want more than one? Two will probably last the rest of the year."

"I think just the one will be fine!" She reached into her pocket to grab the money, but Will set the required five Sickles on the counter before she could. She looked at him. "What are you doing?"

"Don't worry about it, I got it. Could I also get a quill, sir?" He smiled at the man behind the counter and added a few more coins to the pile.

"Of course! One second." He ducked into the back for a moment.

"You don't have to buy the ink for me, I can get it," Lily said, awkwardly looking at her feet.

Will smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Maybe you can buy me a drink next time?" Lily nodded and turned to look at the books. She picked a couple up and leafed through them, breathing in the new book smell. He returned with the new quill and packed them into a neat, brown parcel for them.

On their way out, Will said, "So you must come in here a lot if they know you by name."

Lily smiled, "I may or may not come in here too often. I just like the atmosphere, with the books and the ink and parchment."

"Is that why you spend so much time in the library?"

"That and all of the homework I have. I thought about asking Madam Pince to let me rent one of the storage closets so I wouldn't have to leave at night."

Will laughed at that, and put his arm around her waist. Her heart jumped to her throat, but she realized she liked the weight of his arm around her. His grip was strong, but not restricting and they moved together in unison well. Lily noticed most of the students were returning to the castle, so she and Will started back on the path. She saw Marlene's tall head bobbing up above along with Mary, Alice, and the rest of the gang.

"Marlene!" Lily called out. Marlene turned around and smiled, and everyone else stopped to let them catch up. Alice gave Lily a subtle wink when she noticed how they were intertwined. Lily rolled her eyes and made a face.

"How was Scrivenshaft's?" Remus asked.

Lily's face lit up. "Remus, I have to show this new ink they got. He put a tiny drop on the quill and practically wrote an entire page of parchment!"

Remus brightened as well. "Oh really? That's neat!"

Sirius laughed, and slung his arm around Remus, "Well that's just the bees knees isn't it? I can't wait to write letters to my mum with that new nifty ink!" Remus shrugged his arm, but was laughing.

"I like writing letters to my mum. You write more letters to Mrs. Potter than I do to my mum." Remus retorted.

Will looked confused, "What? Why would he write to your mum, Potter?"

"Because we're having an affair. Don't tell Fleamont, it will crush him." Sirius lamented, clutching his chest and shaking his head.

James rolled his eyes, "Sirius lives with me," he explained, trying to brush it off as normal.

"Why?" Will asked, annoying James. _None of your business, that's why_ , he thought.

He gave Sirius a side look, who nodded back at him implying that it was okay to reveal his home situation to Will. "Sirius parents are uh, aren't the best guardians." James didn't elaborate, hoping Will would get the hint and shut up.

Will nodded, understanding the sensitivity of the situation. "Ah. Sorry about that mate. But at least you have a good guy like Potter," he said, clapping James on the back once with the hand that wasn't around Lily's waist. James visibly tensed, but Sirius smiled at Will.

They reached the castle and began the ascent to Gryffindor tower, reaching it within a few minutes. Everyone except James was out of breath, as James was much more fit than almost all of the student body.

They entered the common room and James claimed the seats by the fire. Will unwrapped the parcel and gave Lily her ink. He hugged her and squeezed her hand, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" Lily nodded and he headed upstairs to the seventh year dorm.

Marlene squealed and Alice grabbed Lily's hand, dragging her up the stairs. "You have to tell us everything. Everything. We'll know if you're holding out on us, Evans."

Lily laughed. "He was a perfect gentleman!"

Marlene looked at her skeptically. "You know what that means." They ran up the stairs and Lily smiled back at the four of them.

James smiled back and waved bye.


	7. Wild Youths

Lily stepped through the portrait hole and plopped down on the common room couch. She was exhausted. In Care of Magical Creatures they were working with Blast-ended Skrewts, and she had almost gotten her fingers blown off more times than she cared to admit. She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the cushion, for what felt like only a second.

She must have fallen asleep, because she woke up to the sensation of a pair of lips on her forehead. She bolted up and whipped around to see Sirius standing there and smiling at her.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"You're a sleeping beauty, I had to wake you with a kiss," Sirius explained

"I didn't let you borrow my fairy tale book so you could use it against me," Lily said, standing up and stretching. She looked around the common room and saw that it had been decorated with pumpkins and cobwebs and candles. There was a bowl of steaming liquid on one of the tables, which she eyed suspiciously. Knowing the Marauders it was either seriously strong alcohol, or some potion that made your hair fall out or something. "Isn't it a little early to be setting up for the party?"

James shook his head. "Everyone will be back from the feast soon."

Lily's heart sank, "I missed the feast?" she asked, looking crestfallen.

James panicked. "I'm sorry, Evans. Don't worry, I'll run down to the kitchen and grab you some of the leftovers."

"No don't I-" Lily stopped protesting, as he was already climbing through the portrait hole.

"I wish I had a boy in love with me to bring me food," Remus sighed dramatically.

"I'll be your boy, Moony," Sirius offered, and Remus smiled at him.

Lily rolled her eyes. "He's not in love with me." Sirius shrugged, indicating that he didn't agree with her, but wasn't going to argue.

People started filing in in small groups, infatuated with the state of the common room. Peter had set up his record player and was playing music, and Sirius was setting up a makeshift bar with crates of firewhiskey, butterbeer, and something Lily didn't recognize.

"Lils, where were you? I didn't see you at the feast." Lily turned around and saw Will standing behind her.

"Yeah I fell asleep and slept right through it," Lily said, "Sorry."

"No worries, I'm sure you were exhausted" He said, smiling, "Can I get you a drink?"

"I'm supposed to be the responsible one, remember?" She teased.

"Yes but I thought you said you wanted to go wild tonight," he said, laughing at the face she made.

"We'll see." She was going to ask how his day was, but was interrupted by James shoving a plateful of food into her hands. "Merlin, Potter, did you have to bring me the whole feast?"

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I brought a little of everything."

Lily was actually touched at that. She smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you, James. Will you eat my figgy pudding though? I'm not a fan." She went to set the plate on the table in the corner and began picking at some of the food on the plate.

James smiled and followed her over to the table, taking her fork and finishing the figgy pudding in two bites. She made a face at him, astounded by how much food he could eat. He smiled back at her and said, with food still in his mouth. "Sure thing. Can I get you a drink?"

She shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Butterbeer?" He asked, starting to turn away. He knew the answer was yes, they only had butterbeer and firewhiskey, and there was no way she was going to drink that tonight.

Lily smiled a devilish smile, "Firewhiskey." James balked at her, as did Will.

"Are you sure?" James asked nervously.

Lily smirked, "I'm supposed to be going wild tonight, aren't I?" James nodded cautiously and walked over to the bar where Sirius was handing out drinks to a couple of fourth years, still watching Lily.

He bumped into the fourth years and one almost spilled their drink. "Oi, go easy on those, okay? I'm not dealing with your sloppy arse after you drink one whiskey, alright?" The fourth years nodded, scared. James turned back to Sirius. "Listen mate I think someone hexed Lily."

Sirius looked grave. "Again? What happened? Was it Avery and Mulciber?"

"No, not that. She just, she called me James, and then asked me to get her a firewhiskey," James shook his head, "Someone must have slipped her a potion or something."

"She's just having a good time. If we get her tossed she won't nag us as much." Sirius handed him two fire whiskeys, which James grabbed before heading back to where Lily and Will were still talking. He handed Lily the drink and she took a gulp, coughing afterwards.

"Easy, Evans, it's some strong stuff." He said, patting her on the back.

"Evidently." This didn't stop her from taking another gulp and finishing off the rest of it.

"Lils slow down, we have all night," Will said, taking the empty cup from her.

"You said you wanted to see wild Lily," She winked at him, and he gulped. James scoffed, and Lily turned to him, misinterpreting the meaning behind it "What, you don't think I can let loose?"

"Nah Evans, I'm sure you could, I just can't imagine you would want to." She smiled at him again, and he put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe finish your food before you get another drink. I'm sure Will doesn't want to deal with you getting sloppy thirty minutes in." She narrowed her eyes at him and he grinned, sliding his hand down her arm. She looked at it, then up at him, and smiled.

"I wouldn't mind at all, Lily. I'll take care of you," Will chimed in. James rolled his eyes, and Lily smiled discreetly over at him.

Maybe it was the firewhiskey, but she was finding James less irritating tonight. She took his cup from his hand and threw back that whiskey as well. When she finished she flashed a grin at him, then handed him back the cup. James stared at her, smiling back. They looked at each other, smiling for a few seconds.

Will and James talked for a while about Quidditch and Lily zoned out, feeling buzzed and giddy. She looked around at everyone dancing and giggled. She tried to listen to their conversation, but it felt like it was dragging on. She looked over at James, animatedly talking about some drill, or play, or strategy, or something Lily didn't really understand.

Lily noticed how attractive James was. She looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on his chest, where his muscles were pressed up against the white fabric of his shirt. She bit her lip and looked up at his face, which was staring at her with wide eyes. Wow. James looked back at her and they locked eyes for a second.

Will awkwardly cleared his throat and spoke up, "Do you want to dance?"

Lily shook her head to clear her mind and looked back at Will, nodding. She finished the roll she had picked up from the plate James had brought her. She took his hand and smiled back James, nodding at the roll and waving. He waved back at her and laughed.

Was he insane or was Lily just checking him out? He had to be insane. He watched her walk away with Will, utterly bewildered and in shock.

Will lead her to the area where the chairs and couch had been pushed the side and people were dancing to Peter's music. Peter himself was dancing with a fourth year from Ravenclaw, and Lily gave him a thumbs up.

"She's cute," she mouthed, and Peter waved his hand at her to tell her to shut up. She laughed as Will pulled her closer to him and started moving to the beat of the music. She wanted to laugh and dance, which she assumed meant she was getting tipsy. She really did have a low tolerance. "Do you like this song?" She asked Will, looking up at him. He was tall, with nice brown hair and hazel eyes. His dark brown complexion was smooth with no blemishes, and he had a strong jaw and full lips.

He shook his head, "I don't know it. I don't really listen to Muggle music."

"You should, it's better than wizard music," she said, and Will twirled her.

"Maybe you can introduce me to your favorites," he said, to which she nodded. She intentionally moved closer so that her chest was pressed up against his. He looked down and raised his eyebrows at her, but then wrapped his arms tighter around her.

They danced to two more songs, and on the last note Lily twirled around. She stopped, out of breath. "I think I need another drink" she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bar, grabbing two shots of firewhiskey. Will reached out to grab the second one, but she had already done them both in rapid succession.

"Whoa! Slow down, Lils." He grabbed a shot for himself and threw it back. He coughed for a second, but then regained his composure and said, "You don't actually have to go wild tonight, just drinking at all is enough for you."

She gave him a look, "For me?"

Will laughed, "Come on, you have to admit that this isn't regular behavior for you. Have you ever drank before?" She begrudgingly shook her head. "That's fine. You don't have to be like the Marauders to have a good time."

"What would the Marauders do in a situation like this?" She asked with a sly smile.

Will shrugged, "I don't know, get trashed and find some bird to snog."

"Maybe I want to be like a Marauder tonight" She said, raising her eyebrows suggestively and moving closer to him.

He blinked and gulped. "What?"

Instead of responding, she grabbed his hand and pulled him through the portrait hole. The cold air of the corridor hit her face, providing a reprieve from the heat of the party inside.

"Lily, what are you do-" Will's question was interrupted by Lily grabbing his loosened tie and pulling his lips to hers. There was a moment when Will was too shocked to reciprocate, but the moment passed and he pushed her up against the wall. Lily's head was swimming, both from the alcohol and from the sensation of having him pressed against her. His clean laundry scent overwhelmed her senses and she tangled her hand into his hair.

He pulled away, "Lily we don't have to go so fast, and I'm pretty sure you're drunk and I-" he stopped when he saw Lily's face looking up at him, a sultry, hungry look in her eyes, "-and I don't know why I'm stopping you." He pressed his mouth against hers again and slid his arm around her waist, pulling him flush against her.

Lily pressed herself against the wall and wrapped the hand not in his hair around his shoulder. He slid his hand down her body and picked up her leg, which she wrapped around his hips, pulling them closer. She felt the bulge in his pants rub against her inner thigh and he moaned into her mouth. She paused for a second, realizing how far this had gone. She was about to pull away when there was the sound of the portrait hole opening and Remus and Sirius fell out.

They stopped dead and looked at the situation before them. There was a painful long five seconds where all four of them were frozen in place. Realizing the position they were in, Will dropped Lily's leg and detangled themselves, "Lupin, Black," he nodded to them and hastily made his way past them and through the still open portrait hole.

Remus' jaw was open. "Lily?"

Lily smoothed out her shirt, "Hey, Remus, Sirius. Are you leaving the party?"

They both looked at each other, and spoke at the same time,

"We were just heading to the kitchens-"

"We were going to go get more alcohol from the stash-"

They looked at each other again, some silent communication taking place in a meaningful look. Remus backtracked, "I was going to the kitchens, Padfoot's getting more booze."

Lily looked at them, recognizing that they were obviously lying to her. She didn't read too much into it, assuming they were planning some prank or sneaking around the castle for some reason she didn't want to know. She nodded, "Well, just don't get caught." She went past them and through the portrait hole, leaving them in the corridor.

She saw Will leaning against a table, and he started towards her, "Hey listen-" she walked past him and ran up the stairs, embarrassed and ashamed.

The first time she had ever drank, and she had snogged a guy she hadn't even established a relationship with, and managed to get caught right in the middle of it, looking like they were about to shag in the corridor.

She thought she was also was attracted to James Potter for a minute? Drunk Lily was horny and out of control. She groaned. She flopped down on her bed and shoved her head in her pillow, trying not to think about it. Luckily the alcohol made sure she fell asleep within a couple of minutes.

Downstairs the party was still in full swing. James was standing to the side of where everyone was dancing, sipping a drink. Marlene came to stand next to him, watching the students dance. "Have you seen Lily?"

James thought for a second; he hadn't seen her since he gave she went to grab a second drink after dancing. He did watch her dance with Will, but hadn't seen where she went afterwards. "No I haven't, actually."

Marlene scoffed. "She's probably already back in the dorm."

"You don't think she got sick or anything, do you? I don't think she was pacing herself." James asked, worried.

Marlene took another sip of her drink, "Nah, I'm sure she's fine," James gave her a look. "Fine, I'll go check." She rolled her eyes and headed up the stairs to the dorm.

James sat back against a table, hoping that Lily hadn't gone too hard. He was hoping that she would enjoy herself tonight and want to come to future parties that they threw. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen any of his friends in a hot minute. Maybe they all found birds to snog somewhere.

He supposed he should find a girl to snog as well, but he wasn't really in the mood tonight. He was content to sit, nurse his whiskey, and watch his fellow students have fun, knowing that they would all talk about the great party they threw for the next couple of weeks.

Marlene returned, "Yeah she's just passed out on her bed. I put her on her side and put a wastebasket next to her."

"Thank you. So Marlene, have your eye on anyone tonight?" James asked, laughing at the look she gave him.

She shook her head vehemently. "Definitely not. There's too much dating within Gryffindor house, it's becoming incestuous."

James raised his eyebrows at her. "What do you mean?"

Marlene gestured to the makeshift dance floor, " Look, Charlie is dancing with that fifth year, who Peter had a thing with last year. Mary is all over that bloke that I snogged two years ago, everyone just trades off because there's so few dating prospects, and we're a bunch of rowdy teenagers locked in a tower together during puberty. It wasn't a smart idea on the founders part."

James shrugged. "I mean, I kinda like it."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "James you're the only person who has dated less than Lily. You've gone out with what, one girl in fifth year?"

"Hey, that's not fair, I've snogged other girls, I'm just not the dating type," James protested.

"Not the dating type," Marlene said, to which James nodded, "So if Lily walked down here right now and said 'James, baby, I'm mad for you, please pretty please be my boyfriend and snog me senseless,' you wouldn't go for it?"

"Well now that's different-" James was cut off by Remus and Sirius rejoining them. "Where have you been?" He asked, deliberately changing the subject.

"We've been here, you know, mingling," Sirius said, gesturing to the masses and giving Remus a side look. Remus shook his head almost imperceptibly.

James peered at them. Their clothes and hair were ruffled and untidy. He assumed they both were off with girls, but didn't want to say so in front of Marlene. They were gentlemen like that. "Yeah okay. Where's Wormtail?" James asked, looking around the room for his sandy blond hair.

"Probably off snogging that Ravenclaw he was dancing with. Though he's not going to get as much action as Lil-" Sirius was interrupted by Remus elbowing him hard in the stomach, "Fuck, Moony." He rubbed the sore spot and glared at Remus.

James looked horrified, "What?"

Remus shook his head. "Nothing, just Padfoot being stupid. How are we doing on alcohol, should we go make another run or are we good?"

Marlene stopped him, "Don't change the subject, what do you mean by Lily getting action?"

Sirius gave James a side look. "Nothing, just her and Will kissed a little bit."

"How much is a little bit?" Marlene asked.

"Nothing, just like, barely a peck on the cheek. That's why Sirius was laughing, 'cause it was nothing," Remus said, shifting uncomfortably.

Marlene smiled, "That little tart."

Mary walked up. "Who's a tart?"

Marlene laughed, "Lily, apparently she and Will were going at it."

Mary's eyes went wide. "What? Where is she now?"

"Asleep, like the bad friend she is. Who snogs their potential boyfriend at a party and doesn't have the decency to tell their best friends?" They both walked off, leaving the boys alone.

"Listen Prongs, it was nothing, I was just kidding around," Sirius said, awkwardly patting James on the shoulder.

"Lily can do whatever she wants, I'm not in charge of her. It doesn't bother me at all." He said, brushing Sirius' hand off.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not bothered, I have absolutely no interest in the matter." James finished his drink, "Listen I'm knackered, I think I'm going to head to bed, make sure no one pukes on the carpet, yeah?" He turned away towards the boys dorm. As he ascended the staircase he looked back at Remus and Sirius who were leaning against the table, whispering, no doubt about him. He saw Sirius' hand was on top of Remus' on the table though, which he thought was weird.

He forgot about it instantly though as he laid in bed and fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning Lily woke with a pounding head. She rolled over and looked at her nightstand. There was a glass of water perched on the edge, which she grabbed with both hands and drank in two large gulps. She instantly felt nauseous, but she laid back down and rubbed her eyes. Her body was jolted by three heavy bodies dropping onto her bed.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. Alice, Mary, and Marlene were all sitting on her bed, staring at her expectantly. "Can I help you?"

"Tell us everything, you hussy," Mary giggled, poking her thigh.

Lily looked at her and groaned, grabbing and pillow and shoving it into her face.

"That bad, huh?" Marlene joked, and Lily threw the pillow at her.

"Who all knows?" Lily asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"Just Remus and Sirius, who apparently caught you in a compromising position, and us three. Oh and um, and James." Alice said.

Lily groaned again, "I'm never going to live this down. I have three drinks and snog whatever guys looks at me."

"Lily it's not like you had a one night stand. You kissed a guy you've been seeing for three weeks," Marlene said, stroking her tangled hair, "Unless of course you did shag him in the corridor, in which case you are a bit of a slag. But only a little bit."

"I did not shag him in the corridor! We just, we just snogged a bit." All three girls gave her a skeptical look. "Okay it was a lot of snogging and a lot of grabbing and, I don't know." They all giggled.

"So is he a good kisser?" Alice asked eagerly.

Lily smiled, "Yes, yes he is. It was, it was really good."

"Tell us every detail." Alice commanded.

Lily put her face in hands and recounted the event, "Okay, so I took him out into the corridor and pulled on his on tie," Mary squealed, "And we started snogging, and he kept pulling away saying we shouldn't but then he said he was out of excuses and we started really snogging, and it got kind of intense."

Marlene narrowed her eyes, "How intense?"

Lily groaned, "Do not judge me. I was drunk. But he grabbed my leg and I wrapped it around his hips and I could feel his um, his, you know, through his trousers and I was going to stop it but then Sirius and Remus found us and it was just the most awkward, horrible thing!" She laid back down and covered her face, groaning.

"Damn Lily. That is intense. For you, at least," Mary said and Lily glared at her through her fingers. Mary laughed. "Are you going to make it official then?" She asked.

She threw her hands up. "I don't know. He probably thinks I'm a slag and doesn't want to date me now. Or I'm a horrible kisser and he won't ever look at me again."

Marlene rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically, "You can't actually believe that. You're insane. He's probably going to be in love with you and want to marry you. Though I guess you'll find out at breakfast."

"I'm not going down to breakfast," Lily said, flipping over and pulling the covers tight around her.

"Yes you are, because if you don't you're going to be nauseous all day. And I know you wanted to finish that essay in the library today, so you might as well rip the band-aid off," Alice said, pulling the red cover off of her.

The cool air hit her legs and she realized that she was still in her clothes from the night before. She groaned and sat up, resigning herself to fact that she would have to face the student body eventually. She took a quick shower, feeling gross and nauseous.

When she finished they all walked down to breakfast and sat down. It wasn't long before Will sat down next to Lily, one leg over the bench, facing her. "Hey Lily, can I talk to you?" He looked at her friends, who were smiling at the pair of them. "Maybe somewhere else?"

Marlene stood up, pulling up Mary as well. "Mary and I are going to go to the bathroom." Alice jumped up, following them. Lily was alone with Will.

"Will, listen I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" Lily started, but was stopped by Will grabbing her hands.

"No it was my fault. I knew you were drunk and I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't right to take advantage of you in a state like that."

Lily frowned. "Well you were drunk too, and I was the one pushing you into it. You weren't taking advantage of me, because I was the one initiating it!"

"I think I was the was the one pushing you," he paused for comedic effect, "Into the wall." He winked, and Lily laughed. He waited for her to finish then spoke up again. "Listen, I know we hadn't really talked about it or anything, but does this mean that we're together? I don't want you thinking that I was just trying to snog you and nothing else."

Lily bit her lip and nodded shyly. "If that's what you want."

He laughed and smiled. "That's, well that's great." He pecked her on the cheek, "I've got to go to Quidditch practice, but I'll see you later, yeah?"

"I can't believe Potter scheduled a practice the morning after the party," Lily said, frowning.

"Yeah, it was impromptu just this morning. I guess we'll never understand the antics of a mad captain." He laughed and stood up, heading out the door.

Moments later Alice, Mary, and Marlene returned. Mary spoke first, "So what did he say?"

Lily smiled and looked down at her plate, pushing her eggs around. "We're dating now." All of the girls squealed, earning looks from most of the Gryffindor table. Lily laughed with them and they excitedly started talking about Mary's prospects with Sirius.

Outside in the cold November sun, James was on his broom, flying laps around the pitch. He didn't originally plan to have a practice this morning, but he woke up at six and needed something to do, and his team always needed practice.

The team slowly trudged onto the field one by one, most looking like they might puke. Will looked happy. Smug bastard. The rest had loathing in their eyes when they looked at him. "Alright, so today let's just run some drills and do a scrimmage. Easy stuff."

"Oh yeah, real easy, Captain," Sirius remarked sarcastically, glaring at him. James shrugged and told them all to mount their brooms and get into position for the first drill.

He made them run plays and practice throwing the Quaffle back and forth, as well as making each player dodge Bludgers aimed at them by Sirius. Sirius was fine with this arrangement, until James made him do it as well as Thomas, the other Beater, lodged just as many Bludgers at him as he had at his teammates.

After an hour or so some of the team looked like they might pass out, so James called it quits and let them go. Bunch of weaklings they were.

He continued to fly around for another half hour, flying outside of the pitch and over the grounds, losing himself in the cool air and freeing sensation.


	8. Lily Evans, Confirmed Badass

The next couple of weeks were relatively calm. Everyone had finally stopped talking about the party, and had moved on to other topics. Lily and Remus were out on patrols on the fourth floor, searching for students out of bed or Peeves wreaking havoc.

"So, how is the term going for you?" Remus asked Lily.

"It's going well, thank you for asking. I could do with less homework, but that's a given I suppose," Lily replied, "How about you?"

"It's actually going really well. Especially because of the potion, and some other things have been good too," Remus smiled, "Probably best term I've had so far."

"I'm glad it's going so well for you Remus," Lily smiled and squeezed his hand, "You deserve all of the happiness in the world."

Remus laughed. "So how is Will?"

Lily smiled shyly. "He's good. I was on the fence at first, just because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date right now, but it's been nice. We study together a lot," she looked at the ground, "I'm sorry you had to see the uh, you know."

"No worries, Lils, I've walked in on worse with Sirius." Remus laughed, patting Lily on the back.

"I know, I just don't want you thinking I'm a slag or anything. I was probably drunker than I should have been, and I wasn't really thinking. It hasn't gone anything further than that or been that intense since then." Lily was rambling, she knew. It was an awkward topic.

"You don't have to explain, you're the farthest thing from a slag I've ever seen. And kissing your boyfriend doesn't make you easy. You could shag some random Hufflepuff and we still wouldn't think anything bad about you, Lily. You're free to do what you want." Remus kept walking, "Do you think we'll find anyone snogging in any broom closets tonight?"

Lily groaned. "God I hope not."

They walked for a while in silence before Lily spoke up again. "So what about you? Anyone you're interested in? I heard Lydia from Ravenclaw was giving you some looks during the party."

Remus scoffed. "I don't think she's really my type."

"What is your type?"

"Not Lydia."

Lily sighed, "You know Remus, you're smart, sweet, and attractive. You'd be any girl's dream."

"Not really what I'm going for here," Remus replied, looking away.

Lily wasn't sure what he meant. "What?"

Remus shook his head. "Nothing. Hold up- I think I hear someone in here." He sneaked up to the door and leaned against it, listening for sounds of people within. He looked back at Lily and nodded, who rolled her eyes and stepped forward.

He opened the door to the broom closet on their right and a first year tumbled out. He was tied up and his nose was bloody. Lily was not expecting that.

He looked terrified, "Thank you so much! I've been trapped in there for hours!" He looked up at them and started crying.

Lily knelt down. "Hey, hey, it's okay, you're fine now." She waved her wand and undid the ropes. They had left red, angry marks slashed across his skin. She looked at Remus, who looked back at her, just as confused and worried as she was, then back at the kid, "Who did this?"

His eyes widened and he shook his head aggressively. "I can't say."

Lily put her hand on his shoulder. "Look, I was attacked by two Slytherins a month or so ago. I told the truth and they were punished. They haven't hurt me since. If you tell us, we can make sure they won't hurt you again."

He was still crying. He wiped his nose on his sleeve. "It, it was the really skinny Slytherin with the black shiny hair. He has a crooked nose."

Lily closed her eyes; she knew exactly who he was talking about. "What's your name?"

"David. David Jones," he paused, "I'm a Muggleborn."

"I am too, David. But that doesn't mean you are worth any less than anyone here. Okay?" He nodded. "Listen, anytime you have to go to class or anywhere and you don't want to go alone, just come ask me, and I'll come with you, okay?"

He sniffled. "Thank you, Lily."

Remus spoke up, "Did you get dinner, David?" He shook his head. "Here, we'll take you down to the kitchens and you can get some food." David's face lit up and he nodded.

They helped him up and Remus gave Lily a meaningful look. Lily knew he knew that Snape had attacked a first year. Hogwarts was becoming less and less safe for them.

* * *

The next morning Lily sat in the Great Hall alone, having barely slept at all. She was vigorously bouncing her leg and tapping her nails against the wood of the table. She had so many emotions that she didn't know how to deal with or direct to. She was furious with Snape, but she knew he wouldn't listen to her. She was pissed at the fact that literal children were getting attacked in what was supposed to be the safest place in the wizarding world.

She jumped when she heard voices. Students were starting to come in for breakfast. Marlene joined her at the table. "How early did you get up this morning?"

"Not much more before you, I just had to finish an essay before class," Lily said, attempting to be nonchalant. Marlene nodded and grabbed the plate of sausages.

Lily barely ate at all. Will joined them and she listened to the conversation around her, attempting to contribute occasionally.

Will leaned over, "Are you alright, flower? You seem distracted." He had taken to calling her flower, which she wasn't sure that she liked. She brushed it off, too busy thinking about everything else to dwell on it.

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," she saw Snape get up from his seat at the Slytherin table, "Listen I have to go do something before class, I'll see you later."

She ran out of the hall after him. She caught up to him out in the entrance hall. "HEY!" She yelled out behind him.

Snape turned around. Lily, for a long time after this, would not be able to understand or explain what happened to her in that moment, but something came over her, and she punched him. Directly in the face, breaking his nose.

He staggered back, but she wasn't done. "YOU'RE ATTACKING CHILDREN NOW? YOU CAN'T FACE SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE?" She pushed him back. "YOU SPINELESS, COWARDLY EXCUSE FOR A MAN!"

Snape drew his wand, but Lily ripped it out of his hand, "Now you're going to attack me? You piece of shit, you think you could actually stand a chance against me? You're a snivelling, little worm that I could crush without a second thought!" She sneered at him as he held his nose, dark red blood pouring out from between his fingers. He didn't look mad. He looked hurt and confused, which only made her angrier.

The scene had drawn a crowd, and Mulciber ran out towards Lily, but she was prepared. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" She bellowed, and Mulciber froze and fell to the ground with a resounding thud. She round on Snape again. "These are your friends? Weak, withering little cowards that can't even handle a MUDBLOOD like me? Can't you defend yourself, Snape?"

He backed away from her, tripping over his feet and she started towards him again, but was pulled back by a pair of strong arms around her torso.

She looked up. It was James holding her back. "Potter let me go right now, or I'll hex you too," she hissed.

James leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Evans, everyone is watching. Finish him where you won't get caught." She faltered for a second, almost convinced by his words, but then she saw Snape sneering at them and she pushed against him, smacking his arms. He held tight, as he was much stronger than her. Prat.

As if on cue, McGonagall ran onto the scene. "MISS EVANS. Just what do you think you're doing?"

James loosened his grip and Lily pushed out of his arms. She calmly stepped towards her and pulled herself up to her full height. "Well Professor, I punched Snape in the face, and I petrified Mulciber." She indicated the two Slytherins behind her.

Mcgonagall looked affronted. She was not expecting that answer. "Well then. Come to my office right now. You too, Potter."

Lily's collected facade faded as she protested, "Oh no, Professor, James didn't do anything he was just-"

"Now, Miss Evans." McGonagall turned to the crowd of professors who came running into the entrance hall behind her. "Pomona, can you get Horace and take Mr. Snape and Mr. Mulciber up to the hospital wing?" McGonagall swiftly turned and headed up the staircase to her office.

They followed her. Lily looked at James and mouthed "I'm sorry," silently pleading with him, but James shook his head.

They reached her office and McGonagall held the door open for them. They stepped in and she ordered them to sit down. Lily pulled out one the chairs and delicately sat down, her heart pounding. She had never been in trouble before.

McGonagall sat behind her desk and peered at them with her piercing eyes.

Lily spoke up. "Professor, James was only holding me back, he wasn't-"

She held up her hand to stop Lily. "We will get to that later, Miss Evans. To start, why don't you tell me what possessed you to physically fight Mr. Snape in the middle of the entrance hall."

Lily looked at her hands clasped in her lap, took a breath, and then looked McGonagall directly in the eye. "Professor, last night on patrol Remus and I discovered a first year tied up in a closet. He said that Snape did it to him, and that he had been in there for hours without food or water. He was terrified. I thought Snape should be punished," she said, matter of factly.

"You should have informed me or Professor Dumbledore. You cannot dole out punishments at will, Miss Evans. I will inform Professor Dumbledore of Snape's actions and we will determine a punishment ourselves," McGonagall said, writing something on a piece of parchment, "Do you know the name of student he attacked?"

"David Jones," Lily replied.

McGonagall nodded, "Well then. You both will serve detention once a week for the next four weeks. Do you have anything else to save for yourself, Miss Evans?"

Lily drew herself up. "Snape, Mulciber, and Avery have been scaring and hurting every Muggleborn in this castle for weeks. I was protecting a fellow student and Muggleborn, and I stand by my actions. Given the opportunity, I would do it again."

McGonagall looked down, and James thought he saw the corners of her mouth turn up ever so slightly, but when she looked back at them her face was hard again. "Very well. You may go to your first period."

They exited her office and made their way down to the dungeons for potions. Lily looked down, abashed."Listen, James, I'm really sorry you got detention. I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'll go to McGonagall later and ask to serve double detention so you don't have to."

James laughed. "Evans I would take a million detentions to see you punch Snape in the face again."

Lily smiled. "My hand hurts."

"It was badass as hell. I don't think they'll be messing with you anymore," James said, opening the door to the dungeon. Hagrid was standing at the front of the classroom instead of Professor Slughorn.

"Ah Lily! James! Slughorn has gotta, erm, deal with some business, so he asked me to watch yer class for the morning. Yer suppos'd to brew the potion he wrote on the board." He moved his large hand to indicate Slughorn's neat writing on the blackboard behind him.

They both nodded and headed to their bench. On their way there was a chorus of "way to go Lily," and "nice one, Evans." Lily sat down at their bench, smiling. She leaned over and whispered to James, "It felt fucking amazing."

James laughed hard at that. He pulled out his book and flipped to the right page.

All of the sixth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws convened in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class that afternoon. Their professor was already standing at the front of the room waiting for them. They shuffled in and sat down, waiting for her instruction.

She started, "So, even though some of your classmates showed you that Muggle fist fights are an excellent way of taking down your opponents, today we are going to continue our practice of offensive spells." Several students laughed at that, and Lily blushed.

"Professor, I'm not sure if you're supposed praise my actions this morning," Lily stated.

"If they were on behalf of the defense of another person, then I can. Also I'm sure I won't be around at the end of year anyways, so I can say whatever the hell I want," Professor Pierce stated simply, which earned raucous laughter from the whole class.

"Alright everyone, find a partner. You're all going to take turns practicing stunning spells on the dummies I have provided."

The students formed small groups, and soon the classroom was lit up with red lights and the sound of the mannequins slamming into the walls or the floor. She and Mary walked over to a mannequin near the corner and Lily immediately blasted it back with a red bolt of light. Mary nodded approvingly, then did the same.

Lily enjoyed this lesson. It seemed everyone, though some professors were less obvious about it, was on her side. She smiled. A year ago she would have never imagined she would be getting drunk and getting into fist fights.

Maybe James was having a bad influence on her.

The group of Gryffindors finished their lesson, and returned to the tower together. They spent the whole route talking about Lily's awesome fight that morning, though some of them were embellishing on the details.

"So then Mulciber flies out of nowhere and Lily without even lifting a finger blasts him back against the wall, cracking his skull open while simultaneously kicking Snape in the balls," Sirius said, dramatically recounting the story for his roommate Charles, who had not been there for the incident.

"Well that's not exactly what happened-" Lily started, but James leaned over.

"Just lean into it Evans, you're a legend now." She smiled and looked up at him. He grinned back and ran a hand through his hair.

They reached the tower and climbed through the portrait hole into the common room. They were all still laughing about Sirius' wild storytelling.

"What the hell, Lily?" Lily looked up to see Will standing with his arms crossed in front of the door.

"Excuse me?" Lily retorted.

The rest of her group shifted awkwardly and made excuses to leave.

"Wow I have some homework to finish, I better get to the library."

"Yeah I should go clean my dorm."

"I uh, I need to um, I need to change my um, my hair," Peter finished awkwardly, and they all scurried away from where Lily was staring down Will. All but James.

"You can't just go punching people in the corridor, Lily!" He walked to closer to her, but Lily stepped back, hands on her hips.

"I was protecting someone, and Snape deserved it. You can't be defending him. He hurt a first year, Will! An eleven year old child!" Lily said, glaring up at him.

"I'm not defending him! I just think it was stupid of you to attack someone a whole foot taller than you, that has probably learned dark magic, and could have _killed_ you, Lily!" Will retorted back.

James jumped in, "Hey! Don't call her stupid, she was more than a match for both of them."

Will sighed, "Not now, Potter. This doesn't concern you."

"I think it very well does, Price." He glared at him, and Will glared right back.

Lily cut them both off, "I don't think it was stupid, I think it was justified. I would do it again, and I don't care if you think it was stupid. He deserved it."

"I'm not saying that he didn't deserve it. He absolutely did, and I'm proud of you for standing up for that first year and your beliefs, but there are better ways of going about it than punching him in front of the entire school. You could have gotten seriously hurt, Lils," Will said, reaching out to grab Lily's hand. James suddenly felt very awkward. "I mean, how many detentions do you have now?"

"Four," she said defiantly.

"You're lucky you didn't get any more," he stepped closer to her, "I'm sorry. I was just worried. I'm glad you didn't get hurt." She nodded and hugged him, resting her head against his chest.

James looked down at his feet and cleared his throat. Will looked up. "I'm sorry too, Potter. I didn't meant to snap at you."

"S'all right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go." He turned and headed towards the staircase leading up to his dorm.

Lily pulled away from Will. "I'm sorry I scared you, but I don't regret what I did. Snape deserved it."

He nodded, "I know." Even though he apologized, Lily didn't appreciate being yelled at by him. All of her friends could tell that it needed to be done. Even Professor Pierce did, too! If she didn't fight back, then they would win. Will told her that she shouldn't fight hate with hate, but it was the only way to stop them. She wasn't going to be passive and let them hurt people.

She stepped back and looked at him, still angry. "I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She turned sharply and headed up the stairs to her own dorm, slamming the door behind her.


	9. 240 Minutes in Heaven

The next morning Lily was sitting at the breakfast table, sipping pumpkin juice and reading _The Daily Prophet_ when a first year tapped her on the shoulder.

"Lily?" She nodded, "McGonagall wanted me to give this to you." She thanked him and he scurried away.

She unravelled it, and saw that it was her detention assignment. She had to clean cauldrons in the dungeons with Slughorn. She smiled. She knew that Slughorn would leave her to her own devices and she could use magic to clean them, and then spend the rest of the detention reading. McGonagall probably gave her this assignment knowing that Slughorn would go easy on her. Although Lily was sure that her professor didn't want to admit it, she was convinced that McGonagall was on her side as well.

She saw James enter the hall and sit down. She stood up, walked over to him and sat down across from him. "Did you get your detention assignment?"

"Yeah, I have to clean cauldrons with Slughorn," he said, rolling his eyes.

Lily looked confused. "Oh, me too. That's weird, I wouldn't think they would put us together," Lily laughed, "Maybe they think that will be my punishment, spending four hours a week with you for the next month."

"Hey! You're lucky to be cleaning cauldrons with me. You're looking at the bloke who has single handedly cleaned the entire trophy room by hand," James protested. He ran his hand through his hair and laughed.

Lily scoffed, pretending to be offended. "Potter, I think you're luckier that you're with me. Slughorn is going to leave us alone, and we can do whatever we want."

James winked at her. "Anything?"

Lily glared at him but then laughed. "Shove it, Potter." At that moment Will appeared and kissed Lily on the top of the head.

"Hello, flower" He smiled and sat down.

Lily looked away, accidentally making awkward eye contact with James. She tried to give James a look conveying that she was unhappy with Will at the moment, but her meaning was lost on him. She shrugged away from Will and stood up abruptly. "Alright, well I've got to go. I'll see you tonight, James."

Will was about to ask her where she was going, but she was gone before he could. He watched her leave and looked confused. He turned back to James, "What's tonight?"

"Detention," he replied.

"Oh. Did she say anything else? That seemed weird, right?" He asked, grabbing a plate and some toast.

James had to duck his head to hide his smile. He pushed his eggs around the plate, trying to not disclose to Will how much joy he got out of this situation. "Nah, she seems fine to me. Maybe it's just you," James raised his eyebrows and stood up.

Will had pissed off Lily and he got to spend four uninterrupted hours with her tonight? Someone was looking out for him.

James spent the whole day excited for detention. That was a thought he never thought he would have. Regardless, he ended up being twenty minutes early.

Slughorn was sitting at his desk reading a magazine, "Ah Potter. You're early aren't you?" He chuckled, "Just can't wait to get started, huh?" He stood up and opened some cabinets, revealing shelves and shelves of cauldrons. "Well, here they are. You won't be able to get through all of them tonight, but luckily we have a collective 16 hours together over the next month."

"Lucky," he mumbled, looking at all of the cauldrons in front of him. Slughorn smiled and handed him a rag that was probably white originally, but now was a sickly yellow color. He grimaced. He pulled down one cauldron and started scrubbing, occasionally looking over at Slughorn. He was sitting at his desk, feet propped up, looking over a magazine. James rolled his eyes and looked back at the cauldron.

Several minutes later Lily entered the room. "Hello, Professor. Oh James, I didn't expect you to be here so early."

"You know me, always punctual," James said, winking.

Lily scoffed, but Slughorn spoke up, "Hello Miss Evans. Go ahead and join Mr. Potter." He shifted, looking at the clock. "Actually, Miss Evans, could I trust you to keep an eye on things? An old student of mine has sent me a tin of crystallized pineapple and the latest edition of the _Quidditch Monthly_ , and I'd like to enjoy that before bed tonight."

Lily put on a sweet smile, "Of course Professor. My mistake shouldn't deprive you of your enjoyment. I'll make sure everything gets done here."

Slughorn smiled and stood up, "Well excellent. Whenever you finish, if you could just lock up the cabinets." Lily nodded, and he waddled out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

James waited until he heard his footsteps retreating and then scoffed, "Unbelievable." Lily smiled at him, flipping her hair. "If only I could have a professor wrapped around my finger like that."

"Well I guess some of us are just better at it." She looked at him. "What are you doing?"

James looked confused, "What do you mean?"

Lily laughed and sat down, propping her feet up on the desk in front of her. She pulled her wand out and murmured, "Scourgify." The cauldron James was holding was suddenly spotless.

"We're not supposed to use magic!" James exclaimed.

Lily did a double take. "Are you saying, James Fleamont Potter, master of pranks and tomfoolery, actually cleans without magic during detention?"

James was shocked, "Well I-" He frowned, realizing he hadn't. "Normally someone is supervising me." He looked over at her. "How do you know my middle name?"

Lily glared at him. "Because during fourth year you screamed at me, 'I, James Fleamont Potter, will marry you Lily Evans if it's the last thing I ever do!'"

James laughed at the memory. "Well I still stand by that." Lily rolled her eyes. "What's your middle name?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Why? So you can use my full name in your next proposal?"

"Hey, I haven't asked you out at all this year, have I?" Lily was about to say something, but she realized he hadn't actually. Maybe that's why she found him less irritating this year. "Besides, my next proposal will be after we have been dating for at least a year, and will be much more romantic."

Lily rolled her eyes. Right after she just thought that he hadn't been irritating. "You're never going to propose to me, Potter. I won't allow it," she paused, "It's Jane."

"Can I ask another question?" He asked.

"I feel like I don't have a choice in the matter," Lily replied back.

"Why do you sometimes call me James, but other times call me Potter?"

Lily looked at him. He looked genuine, sitting on the floor and looking up at her with big hazel, puppy dog eyes. She shook her head. "I don't know. Potter is a habit, so I just say it sometimes. I figured since we were trying to be mates this year I should try to make an effort to call you James." He smiled and looked down at his hands, "Don't read too much into it, alright?" She laughed. "I can just call you toerag, if you prefer."

He shook his head, "So does that mean I can call you Lily?"

"Considering the rest of the student body does, I feel like it's a safe bet." She looked around. "So what do we do for the next," she looked at her watch, "3 hours and 47 minutes?"

"Well I can think of a couple of things we can-"

"Do not." Lily cut him off. "I'm in a relationship, you can't make jokes like that." James made a face, which Lily saw. "What was that face?"

James looked up. "What face?"

"You made a face!" Lily said, taking her feet off of the desk and leaning forward to look at him.

"I didn't make a face!" Lily gave him a pointed look. "Okay! Maybe I subconsciously made a face. It just doesn't seem like you're overly happy to be in that relationship right now"

Lily frowned. "Well, that's not any of your business."

James put his hands up in defense. He stood up and sat on the bench across from Lily. "I know. Sorry."

Lily sighed. "I'm just a little miffed at him over the whole Snape situation."

James nodded. "Okay."

"I don't have to explain it to you."

James was confused. "I know, I wasn't asking you to!"

Lily threw her hands up and started pacing, "He just, he just made me mad. Where does he get off thinking he can yell at me like he's a professor or something? Yeah it was a dumb move, but Snape deserved it!"

"Yes, he did." James tried to hide his smile.

"Don't smile like that! I'm not going to talk about it anymore," Lily said, crossing her arms.

"Okay. So what are yo-"

Lily cut him off again. "He's just frustrating because he doesn't get it. He's a pureblood, and he doesn't realize that if we sit in silence then they're just going to keep doing it." James nodded. "Like you and Sirius get it, because your parents are so involved in the fight against it, and you're friends with Remus and Peter, but he just hangs out with Frank, who's a pureblood, and all of his other roommates who are purebloods. You know?" She looked at James, who was sitting at rapt attention, nodding along.

She walked back and sat on the bench again. "And I know that he was just worried about me getting hurt, but that also makes me mad, because it implies that I can't take care of myself. I could take Will out if I wanted to."

James laughed, imagining Lily punching Will in his stupid face. "Yeah, you could."

Lily smiled. "It's not like I haven't shown that before. I took on Avery and Mulciber by myself. And he said he was upset about me having detention, because we couldn't spend this time together. We spend every other night studying. He's probably just mad about me spending time with you."

James stopped smiling, confused. "Wait, what? Why with me?"

Lily scoffed. "Because he thinks you're trying to steal me."

"Well that's stupid, I'm not-"

Lily nodded vigorously. "You can't steal me, I'm not an object. Anyways he should trust me and know that I'm about as close to dating you as I am to Snape." That stung James' pride. Lily must have seen his face, because she backtracked, "Sorry. That's not what I meant. You know what I mean."

He nodded. "Yeah." It still hurt though.

"Whatever. I'm just slightly angry with him right now, but it will be fine." She huffed and laid back on the bench.

"I'm sorry," James said, also laying back on his bench.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. Tell me about Quidditch or something, I don't care," Lily said, closing her eyes.

James brightened at that. He went into a long spiel about the latest practice and the upcoming game.

Lily laid her head back and listened to James, his deep voice and her lack of interest in the subject causing her to doze off every now and then, until the clock struck ten, signifying that they could leave.

They put the cauldrons back up and locked the cabinets. Lily snuck into the supply closet and grabbed some ingredients for Remus' next potion. Both she and James shoved them into their pockets hastily.

They made it back to Gryffindor tower and James dumped the contents of his pockets onto one of the tables. Lily brought down her potions box to fill it up. He started up the stairs, but Lily's voice stopped him.

"Hey, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For uh, for listening, and not being a prat."

James smiled, his heart swelling, "See you next week for round two, Lily." He turned and headed up the stairs, his heart pounding. Lily turned back to her box and smiled to herself. Maybe, ever so slightly, they were becoming mates.


	10. A Lucky Lady

"So, do you have Christmas plans?" James asked, tossing the ball of twine towards Lily. She caught it with both hands. This was their last detention. Lily had already cleaned the rest of the cauldrons and they were sitting on the bench, tossing a ball of twine James found in one of the cabinets back and forth.

"I'm staying here. My sister is having her first real Christmas with her fiancé, and I'm staying away from that," Lily replied, tossing the ball back.

James caught it. "You don't like your sister?"

Lily sighed. "She doesn't like me. She's called me a freak a thousand times since I got into Hogwarts, and doesn't let me talk about it at home at all. She acts like it's the plague."

"Well don't you want to see your mum and dad?" James asked.

Lily looked away. "Well, my dad died last year, and my mum understands that I wouldn't be welcome at Petunia's."

James panicked. "Shit, I'm sorry Lily I didn't mean to-"

Lily waved her hand. "No worries, it's fine, honestly. It was... it was a long thing. He was diagnosed with cancer, which is a long term disease, so we all knew it was coming."

"Well that doesn't make it any easier," James commented, looking at Lily's sad face.

"Yeah."

James attempted to lighten the mood. "What kind of name is Petunia? Sounds stuck up to me."

Lily laughed, hard. It took her a minute to stop laughing and regain her breath. "She is stuck up. But all of the women in my family are named after flowers."

"When we have kids we might have to break that, because I can't think of any flowers that would be a good name for a baby," James said, tossing the twine back at her.

Lily caught it and chucked it hard at him, hitting him in the chest. James lost his breath for a second. "We are not going to have kids, James."

James coughed, "Yeah, alright, you didn't need to bludger me though."

She shrugged. "Serves you right." She caught the ball and threw it back to him, much more gently. "What about you?"

"Well I think my rib is broken." He rubbed the spot where the twine hit him. "No wonder you broke Snape's nose, your arm has the strength of a troll."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I meant your Christmas plans. And how dare you say I'm a troll."

James laughed, "Strength of troll, face of an angel." She glared at him, but grinned slightly. "Peter's parents aren't going to be around for Christmas because they're going on a trip to France, so we're all staying here with him."

Lily looked at him. "Wow, James, that's actually really sweet."

He shrugged. "We look out for each other."

"Hopefully better than you look out for the twine."

"What?" The twine hit him in the face. "Hey!" Lily giggled and jumped off the bench. She ran to hide behind one of the desks James chased after her, attempting to pelt her with the twine. She cast a shield charm and the twine bounced back, hitting James again. "That's not fair!" he exclaimed.

"You're just mad because you can't dodge," Lily laughed, levitating the twine and charming it to pelt James in the arm repeatedly. After several attempts he grabbed it. Lily, who was hiding behind a table, stood up. "Truce?" She stuck out her palm, and James shook it. She turned her back and James threw the twine, hitting her square in the back.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed. James held up the hand behind his back, which had two crossed fingers. "Oh fuck you, James."

He winked. "Sorry, love."

Lily made a face and looked at the clock. Two more hours. She laid down on the bench, and James sat next to her.

"You can join us, if you want. We're planning on having a very Marauder Christmas," James said, poking her arm.

Lily smiled to herself, and James noticed how beautiful her smile was when she was genuinely happy. "Yeah, I'd like that very much. Thanks."

James looked at her, his hazel eyes meeting her green ones. "Of course"

* * *

James bust into the dorm, scaring everyone inside. Peter nearly fell off of his bed, dropping his quill, and Remus and Sirius, who were sitting on Sirius' bed playing cards, dropped their hands, spreading cards all over his bed.

"The fuck, mate?" Sirius asked, scooping up his lost hand.

"I just had detention with Lily, and we've been getting close. We're actually mates now!" He looked around, excited. They were unaffected by this information. He frowned, but continued. "Anyways, she's staying here over the holidays, so I invited her to spend it with us, and she said yes!" Everyone stared at him, blinking.

"Okay," Peter said.

"Okay? This is not okay, this is the best day of my life!" James exclaimed. "We're mates now!"

Remus nodded. "So what are you going to get her?"

James' heart sank. "Fuck. What do I get her?"

Peter laughed, "Whatever you get her it has to be amazing. Lily is like, the best present giver on the planet."

"What? She is? Fuck. What do I do? What does she like?" James looked at them all desperately for help.

"You should know, now that you're 'chummy' with her," Sirius joked, stacking the cards and shuffling them.

"Shut up, Padfoot, this is serious." Sirius dramatically opened his mouth to make a joke, but all three boys exclaimed,

"DO NOT."

Remus laid back on Sirius' bed. "You could get her the new Queen album."

"I'm already getting her that," Peter chimed in, earning a glare from James, "Hey, not my fault you're late to the Lily party," he said, shrugging.

"What else?" James pleaded.

"Some nice socks?" Sirius suggested.

"Not helping."

Remus spoke up, "Well that might actually be a good idea. You know how often Lily complains about her feet being cold."

"She has never once complained about her feet being cold," James said, flopping down on his bed.

"She does to me," Remus said quietly.

"I can't get her socks for Christmas, Moony."

"Hey. I'm trying to help you. Why don't you get her some potions stuff or something," Remus suggested, and Sirius laid back, placing his feet on Remus' stomach.

"Like what?" James said, interested by the idea.

"Like a new potions box. Hers is all beat up and falling apart. Just the other day she was saying she needed a new one," Remus said. "You could go to the apothecary in Diagon Alley, I saw some nice boxes there."

"Moony, you're a genius," James stopped, though, realizing the flaw in his plan, "I don't know how to get to Diagon Alley before break though."

"Ask one of the seventh years that can apparate to take you," Peter suggested.

Sirius laughed, "You should ask Will. You could say, 'Hey listen Will, I'm trying to make a move on your girlfriend next week, would you be a doll and take me to Diagon Alley so I can buy her a present that's going to make her fall madly in love with me?'"

"Shut up, I'm not trying to make a move on her." James sat up. "Do you really think this present will make her fall madly in love with me?" Everyone in the dorm groaned, and Sirius threw a pillow at him, knocking back onto the bed. "Okay, sorry, Merlin."

* * *

The next morning James found Frank sitting at the Gryffindor table and he sat down next to him. "Hey, Frank, I have a favor to ask."

"What?" He asked through a mouthful of porridge.

"Can you take me to Diagon Alley before Christmas holiday?"

He looked confused. "Why?"

"I need to buy a present for someone. I'll pay you," James offered.

Frank considered the deal. "How about I take you, and then you buy the present I need to buy for Alice?"

"Done. Can we go tonight?"

Frank shrugged. "Sure. We'll have to sneak out to Hogsmeade, though I'm assuming you have a way of doing that."

James winked. Frank shook his head and laughed. James stood up, walking over to the other side of the table to return to his original spot at the table next to Sirius. Remus was seated next to him, very closely. James thought that was weird. He brushed it off and looked down the table at the sound of laughter, and saw Lily and Will sitting with Marlene and Mary. Lily was laughing at something Will said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

During their detentions she said that she and Will had made up, as Lily told him why she had done it, and why she and the other Muggleborns needed this. They couldn't just accept the violence and hate.

She said that Will told her he understood, but James wasn't entirely convinced. He knew Will's family from all of the intermingling of the pure blood families, and while they weren't outright Death Eaters, they weren't exactly opposing the cause, either.

James went to class that day, Muggle Studies and Divination, which were both so easy that he was able to daydream about the Christmas break ahead. He always loved the castle around Christmas. He had spent quite a few breaks here, not because he didn't love to see his family, but more often than not they were working and didn't have much time to spend at home during the holidays. That had increased as of late, due to the more prevalent activity of Voldemort.

He wasn't exactly sure how, but he knew his parents were involved in the fight against the Dark Lord, and he was willing to bet a few galleons that Dumbledore was spearheading it. Whatever it was, he just hoped that he would be allowed to join in once he graduated.

Mostly, though, he was daydreaming about the upcoming break because of Lily. He and Lily had actually become good friends, thanks to their detentions. At this point he wasn't even thinking about trying to date her. Well, he was, but mostly just thinking about how glad he was to be friends with her. Not getting hexed by her was a bonus.

He never thought that they would have become close over detention. They had inside jokes and could communicate via looks. Though he was sure a lot of people could do that, considering how Lily's face always showed exactly what she was thinking. Nothing made James happier than spending time with her and the Marauders, playing chess or studying, it didn't matter. If only he could back and tell his fourth year self.

"Mr. Potter." James was jolted from his daydream.

"Yeah?" He asked, stupidly.

"I asked you a question."

"Oh sorry, what was it?" he asked, which earned him a glare from his Muggle Studies professor.

"I asked you to describe what a refrigerator is for," ahe said, tapping her foot and looking at him expectantly.

"It's to keep perishable food items cold in a Muggle household. It often holds jugs of milk, cheese, and bacon," he said, only knowing the answer because he had spend a good twenty minutes sitting on the floor in front of Remus' refrigerator last summer, trying to cool off from the sweltering heat.

She gave him a disapproving look. "Very good. Next time try to pay attention in class. Christmas break is still a week away."

James went immediately back to daydreaming. He was excited to go to Diagon Alley this evening and get the potions box for Lily. He could just imagine her face when she opened it. He daydreamed away his entire class load for today, and then returned to the common room to wait.

He was sitting in the common room impatiently tapping his foot, waiting for Frank to come down so he could leave. He had his invisibility cloak and map in his pocket, and he checked the time every thirty seconds.

"Well yes, but I don't think it's really the right time for that." Lily's voice floated into the common room from the corridor outside, where Will had just opened the portrait hole.

"It's not serious, Lils. It was just a suggestion. I thought you might enjoy it," Will said, helping her through.

She delicately took his hand and stepped through. "I would, but I don't know if we're at that point yet." She saw James sitting by the fire. "Hey James," she waved, and her and Will walked up the staircase to the seventh year dorm. James waved back, watching them ascend the staircase.

Frank came down a few moments later. "Hey James, ready?"

"Yeah." He pulled out the cloak. "Listen once we get out in the corridor we can put this on, and no one will be able to see us."

Frank's eyes widened. "Is that an invisibility cloak?"

"Yeah, come on." James pulled him towards the portrait hole, and they walked in silence to the statue of the old witch. Unfortunately they were both very tall boys and couldn't fit under the cloak comfortably. They had to slouch so that their feet couldn't be seen. They reached the statue and James poked it in the eye, revealing the passageway.

"After you," he said, gesturing for Frank to go into the passageway first. Frank gave him a skeptical look, but went ahead. He heard him land in the dirt below and then followed him down into the tunnel. "This leads into Honeydukes, we can apparate from within the cellar."

Frank nodded. James looked at him. "So, what were Lily and Will talking about?"

Frank shrugged. "Something about Will's parents, I wasn't really listening. I think they wanted to meet Lily or something."

"Oh," James nodded, "So how are you and Alice?"

"I'm going to ask her to marry me." Frank deadpanned, looking straight ahead.

James blinked. "Wow. Um, okay. Congrats."

"Thanks."

"When are you going to do it?" James asked, wondering if Frank was insane.

"Before I graduate, probably after the end of the year feast on the last day of the term or something. I'm going to think about it a lot," Frank said, straight up, with no question in his voice.

"I don't have to buy her ring do I?" James joked.

"Ah damn, that would have been a good idea," Frank laughed, "No, today I'm just getting her a book."

"Oh, okay." James felt along the wall, "Here it is." He pushed up against the stone and lifted it, crawling out onto the stone floor of the Honeydukes storeroom. He pulled Frank up through the hole and pocketed his invisibility cloak.

"Damn, that's cool," Frank remarked.

James nodded. "Yeah, it's been great." He slid the stone back into place. "Ready?"

Frank nodded and they climbed out of the window next to them into the cool December air. Frank grabbed James' hand and turned on the spot. In an instant James was standing in Diagon Alley, feeling like he might puke. He leaned over, hands on his knees, panting heavily.

Frank patted him on the back, "Yeah sorry, Side-Along Apparition isn't the best sensation in the world." James waved his hand and stood up straight. Frank nodded at him, "Okay well I'm going to run to the bookstore, I'll meet you back here." James nodded and handed him three galleons, and Frank's eyes went wide. "Merlin, James, it's a book."

He shrugged. "Just in case." Frank nodded and turned to walk down the alley. James watched him walk away, then entered the apothecary shop. It was creepy. There were jars filled with green liquid and eyeballs, and there were dried skins hanging from strings along the walls. He walked up to the counter and rang the bell.

A small elderly woman hobbled out. "Well hello dear. What are you looking for?"

James felt stupid and awkward. "Hi, um, I'm looking for a potions box for my friend? She's the best in our class, and her old one is all beat up. Do you have-" He was cut off by the witch going back into the room from where she came.

He waited for a few minutes, afraid that the witch had just ignored him. But she came out, holding a shiny wooden box. "How does this one look, my dear?" She clicked it opened, and it sprang alive. The sides folded out into cascading shelves, and the bottom had six different compartments.

James looked at it in awe, even he could appreciate how nice having that box would be. It could hold dozens of ingredients. He reached out and touched the smooth wood, and then the witch picked up the bottom of the box to reveal a secret compartment underneath. James nodded. "Yes, that looks great!"

"Whoever you're buying it for is very lucky. This is the nicest box out there. It has a magical seal so that any ingredients inside will not be spoiled. You could throw this into a lake and everything inside would remain perfectly dry. I can also engrave it for you if you would like." The woman closed the box and ran her hand over the shiny wood of the top.

"Yes, that would be fantastic. The initials L.E. please," James said, watching the witch pull out her wand.

She started murmuring a spell and a bright white light emitted from the tip of her wand, burning the letters into the wood. "She is a lucky lady to have such a good man".

"Oh she's not, she's not mine. We're just friends," James explained. The witch gave him a knowing look, and finished her job. "Could I also stock it with fresh ingredients, please?"

Frank came in while the witch was neatly placing ingredients like lacewing flies and beetle shells into the box's many compartments. He handed James two galleons and change. James nodded, "Did you find what you wanted?"

"Yeah. Is that for Lily?" He asked, gesturing to the box. James nodded sheepishly. "You got it bad, mate. She'll love it though. It probably won't top her present to you though, she's amazing at giving gifts."

"So I've heard," James lamented. The witch finished stocking the box and James paid her. They walked out into the street and apparated back to Hogsmeade, this time sneaking through a different passageway, as they didn't think they should apparate into the Honeydukes storeroom. They snuck back to the common room, aided by their invisibility. They barely evaded Mrs. Norris, who James was sure could see through his cloak.

They climbed through the portrait hole and saw Lily, Alice and Marlene studying at table in the corner of the common room. James bolted upstairs so Lily wouldn't see the parcel in his hands and Frank continued on past the tower.

He entered his dorm and put the box underneath his bed, unable to contain his excitement. Christmas could not come soon enough.

* * *

Hi guys, sorry I couldn't figure out how to put author's notes. I've already written quite a bit of this so I'm just catching up by dumping it all on here when I have time. Once we're caught up I'll be updating on Mondays and Thursdays, so keep an eye out! See you soon!


	11. Unexpected Snogging

"Who are you bringing to Slughorn's party?" Lily asked Remus, who was sitting next to her in the library. She was attempting to write an essay, but she kept getting distracted by the promise of Christmas break coming.

"Sirius," Remus replied, not looking up from his paper.

"I thought he was banned? For that prank in third year?" Lily asked, doodling a little snitch on the corner of her paper. She was drawing the first wing when she realized what she was doing and crossed it out.

"I asked Slughorn and he said he was okay with it so long as I kept him in line. I think he took pity on me, since I can't get a real date."

"I bet Lydia would say yes if you asked," Lily singsonged, ruffling Remus' hair.

"I don't want to ask Lydia," Remus singsonged right back.

"Well okay, but I'm sure a million girls would say yes if you asked them," Lily said returning to her essay.

"Well I was going to ask you, but you just had to go and get yourself a boyfriend, effectively ruining my life," Remus teased.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined your life, Remus."

"It's fine, I will accept your apology in the form of chocolate frogs," Remus said, dramatically sighing.

"Everyone says Sirius is the dramatic one, but all of you are bunch of little drama queens, you know?"

Remus laughed, "It makes life more fun."

Lily hummed in agreement.

* * *

For Slughorn's party, Lily had gotten a slim green dress that came to just above her knees and hugged what little curves she had. She had Mary do her hair into an updo, with curls falling out in places, giving her a perfectly messy but chic look. She did her makeup soft, with a pink lip and light mascara.

She looked in the mirror, thinking she looked pretty good. Marlene said she looked hot, and Mary gave her approval as well.

Anna, who was going with her Ravenclaw boyfriend, also said that she looked very nice, and that she would be the belle of the ball.

Lily went down the girl's staircase and up the boy's staircase to collect Remus and Sirius. She knocked politely on their door. Remus opened it, attempting to tie his bow tie. He stopped, looked her up and down and his mouth hung open.

Sirius, who just turned around, whistled a low, long whistle. "Daaamn Lily."

Lily blushed and smiled, looking at her feet. "Do you like it?"

Sirius laughed, "Twirl for me, baby."

Lily stepped into the room and Sirius took her hand, and raising it above her. She giggled as he spun her around.

"You look really pretty, Lily," Lily jumped at the voice. She hadn't notice James in the corner of the room, in an oversized quidditch t-shirt and boxers.

She gestured to his outfit. "Well, now I feel overdressed," she laughed, and James smiled at her.

She turned to help Remus tie his bow tie. Her delicate fingers expertly tied it into a bow, as her dad had taught her many years ago. James watched her.

He was looking at her hair. A couple of curls had fallen out of her bun and were sweeping across her neck anytime she moved her head. Her green dress brought out her eyes, which shined as she laughed and smiled at him. He was speechless.

"You look great Lily!" Peter's voice pulled James out of his Lily-induced stupor.

Lily smiled, "Thank you Peter. I'm sorry we couldn't bring more than one guest. I would have brought you guys too."

Peter shrugged. "I don't want to hang out with Sluggy all night anyways." James nodded in agreement, though he didn't actually share the sentiment.

"Hey guys are you all- Holy shit," Will had entered the room but stopped in his tracks when he saw Lily.

She giggled. "Do you like it?" He nodded, gulping. He looked over her more than once, his mouth hanging open. Will was absolutely speechless. She walked over and grabbed his hand. "Alright, Remus, Sirius, ready?"

They nodded and followed them out. Will tripping over his feet because he was staring at Lily and not watching where he was going. Lily got a smug sense of pride knowing that she had rendered a 17 year old boy absolutely useless with just a dress and a new hairstyle.

They made it to Slughorn's party, where people had already arrived and were mingling politely. Slughorn called her over immediately, and she and Will walked over.

"Miss Evans my dear, I was just talking about you. You look quite beautiful tonight. Mr. Price here is lucky to be your date! Though I would have thought you would have brought Mr. Potter with you. You have become such unlikely friends this term!" Slughorn said, clapping Will on the shoulder. He looked visibly uncomfortable. "Anyways, I want you to meet my good friend, Tobias. He is a potions master, and is working on new, experimental potions."

Lily held out her hand. "Pleased to meet you, sir." Tobias took it and squeezed it once before letting go.

"Horace was just telling me about how you're his best student," he said, gesturing to Slughorn, who was sipping a brandy.

"Not just my best student, Tobias, the best student I have ever had!" Slughorn squeezed Lily's shoulder, "Never once messed up a potion, have you Lily?" She shook her head. "And she brewed Wolfsbane as an extra credit project! It was absolutely perfect too! I daresay it would have turned the most wild werewolf into a lap dog!"

Tobias nodded approvingly. "That is quite impressive Miss Evans. Are you thinking about going into potions as a career?"

"I was thinking about it, I wasn't sure exactly what to do though," Lily admitted. She actually knew nothing about wizard careers, beyond an Auror or a Healer.

"Well, once you receive your N.E.W.T.s, I encourage you to contact me. We could use a bright young witch like you." He raised his glass at her. She thanked him, and then pulled Will away to the other side of the room. Will grabbed two glasses of champagne off of a waiter's tray and they stood in the corner sipping them, occasionally schmoozing with some of Slughorn's former students-turned-successes.

"So, how long do we have to stay at this thing?" Will asked, grabbing another glass of champagne.

"Not much longer." she grabbed his arm. "Will, is that the Holyhead Harpies captain?"

"Yeah, are you a fan?"

Lily gave him a look. "Do you know me at all? No, I just want to get an autograph for James."

Will set down his glass. "Oh, yeah. Okay."

Lily timidly walked up to the tall, muscular woman. She was wearing a slim black dress, with her hair in beautiful braids that cascaded down her back. They had gold beads in them that caught the light when she turned, and the many braids clinked together delicately.

"Hello, my name is Lily Evans. I hope I'm not bothering you, I was just hoping to get an autograph for my friend, James." She asked, looking at her feet.

The woman laughed, "Of course dear. Horace actually told me to bring a stack of the Cannon's latest photo for this purpose. Ridiculous, right?" She pulled one out and grabbed a quill from Slughorn's desk. "So I make this out to James?" Lily nodded.

"He's Gryffindor's Quidditch captain. Everyone says he's the best player they've had for years. He's never lost a game." Lily realized she was rambling, but the captain didn't seem to notice. She wrote a short sentence on the back of the photo and handed it to Lily. "Thank you so much, he is going to love this." Lily clutched the photo and slipped it into her purse without looking at it.

She returned to where Will was standing. She leaned against him and she drank two more glasses of champagne. She started giggling and he put an arm around her waist. She leaned into him and he kissed her forehead.

At that moment a third year with a large camera snapped a photo of them, startling her. She jumped and almost fell over, but Will steadied her. She giggled and swayed.

A tall man came up and clapped Will on the back, obviously recognizing him from somewhere. Lily wasn't surprised. All of the purebloods knew each other. She listened along for a moment as they started discussing Gringotts and the current issues with the goblin strike.

Lily took the opportunity to slip out into the corridor for some fresh air. She had drank a few glasses of champagne and her head was swimming a bit. She walked back and forth in the corridor, giggling to herself when she stumbled.

She heard a dull thudding noise and instantly sobered up. She pulled out her wand. "Lumos," she whispered, illuminating the hallway. She didn't see anyone, so she moved forward. She heard another noise, and realized it was coming from the broom cupboard.

She rolled her eyes, and the prefect in her opened the door, expecting to scold some fifth years who had too much champagne.

What she did not expect, however, was Remus and Sirius, entangled and thoroughly disheveled.

"Oh, holy, oh my God, I, I'm sorry." She slammed the door and stood awkwardly, not sure of what to do.

The door opened slowly, and Sirius and Remus came out, looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I, I thought you guys were just some fifth years or something I didn't see anything I didn't mean to, oh my God, shit, I am so so sorry." Lily stumbled over her words, in shock at what she just saw.

All three of them stood awkwardly, looking at the floor, unsure of what to say.

"I'm totally fine with it," Lily blurted out. Curse her stupid, heterosexual brain. They didn't need her to say that she was okay with it.

Sirius laughed, "Thanks for the approval Lily."

She nodded, looking at her feet. "Look I won't- I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Thank you," Remus said quietly.

"I guess it's only fair I caught you, since you caught me," Lily attempted to laugh, trying to lighten the mood. Remus half smiled. Lily felt like an idiot. "I'm gonna go," she said, awkwardly pointing towards the party. They nodded and she left.

Her brain was doing somersaults. Of all people, she did not expect Sirius to be gay. It explained why he hadn't been chasing after any girls lately, though Lily was still shocked. She felt bad that she had caught them. If they hadn't told her by now, they obviously didn't want her or anyone else to know.

She was not paying attention to her surroundings, and she ran right into Will. "Whoa, Lily. You alright?"

She smiled, "Yeah, just fine!" She looked around. "Want to get out of here?"

Will nodded vigorously, and lead her out of the party. She waved goodbye to Slughorn, who waved merrily back. From the color rising in his cheeks she guessed that he had had quite a few brandys tonight.

They walked up to the common room in silence, Lily still processing what she saw. She wanted to talk to Remus about it, understand it better, but she wasn't sure if he would want to talk.

They climbed through the portrait hole and Will immediately turned up and pressed her up against the wall. "Oh!" Lily exclaimed, but the noise was muffled by Will's mouth that was suddenly on hers.

"You look gorgeous, sweet flower," he said, kissing her neck and running his hands down her waist.

She was out of breath, and her heart was beating so fast she was sure he could feel it. "Thank you," she said awkwardly. Will didn't notice though, because he pressed himself against her and his mouth returned to hers again.

Lily arched her back into him, which caused him to groan into her mouth. Lily slid her tongue over his lip and into his mouth, and their tongues moved together, with their lips pressed up against each other.

He wrapped one arm around her waist, and the other slid up her torso to grab her breast through the slick material of her dress. His mouth left hers and kissed a slow path down her neck, sucking gently on a spot several inches below her jaw. She tilted her head back, giving him better access, which pressed her breast more firmly into his hand. She moaned quietly at the increased contact.

Will pulled back and looked at her. Lily was afraid she did something wrong, but he whispered, "Fuck." Then he picked her up easily and set her on the table near him. He parted her legs with his knee and pulled her close to him. Her thighs were pressing into his hips and she wrapped her legs around him to pull him in closer.

"I've thought about doing this all night," he whispered in her ear. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth onto hers. He moaned, louder than before. She shushed him and he laughed.

"Sorry, flower," he whispered into her ear. There was a sudden noise, and Lily jumped. She pulled her strap back up and jumped off of the table. It was just someone's cat coming down from the dorms.

Will grabbed her from behind and kissed her neck, grabbing her hips and pulling her back against him. He slid his hand down the front of her dress and to her thigh. He moved the fabric of her dress and slid his hand up her inner thigh, brushing the fabric of her underwear slightly. She gasped at the contact, and Will cursed under his breath. He moved his hand again, and Lily felt a heat in the bottom of her stomach. He pressed his hand against her and moved it more deliberately now, and she whimpered.

Then her eyes flew open and she stepped away from him. "We're in the common room"

He looked at her, confused. "Yes?"

"Will I'm not going to fool around with you in the common room."

He looked desperate. "Well. We could, we could go to um-"

"We shouldn't do this right now." Lily said, regretting the words.

Will looked at his feet. "I'm sorry."

She stepped back towards him and grabbed his hands. "It's not your fault. I just, I've never done anything like this before, and I don't want to rush into it."

Will nodded. "Okay." He looked her up and down again and bit his lip, "Okay, yeah. Just please go upstairs so I don't have to look at how sexy you are anymore."

She laughed and kissed him lightly before heading upstairs. She turned back, "I'm sorry."

Will shook his head, "It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow." She saw him turn to head to his dorm, looking thoroughly disappointed.


	12. A Very Marauder Christmas

It was the last day of the term and Lily couldn't be more grateful. She was so ready to sleep in, eat chocolate, and not worry about her school work for the next couple of weeks.

Everyone from her dorm was leaving, so she knew she would be lonely. She, Marlene, Mary, and Alice all held each other in a group hug, lamenting about how much they were going to miss each other. With their trunks all packed they said goodbye and headed down to the train.

Lily went up to Will's dorm to find him still packing. "Didn't I tell you not to leave this until the last minute?" She said, laughing. He turned around, grinning.

"It's not the last minute!" He protested. She stepped forward and kissed him lightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer, their lips pressed against each other. He pulled away, "Damn Lily, you can't do that to me when I'm not going to see you for the next couple of weeks."

She giggled, "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Remind me why I'm not staying here with you?"

"Because your brother is coming and you haven't seen him in over a year," she stated.

"Well my brother isn't an incredibly gorgeous, sexy, smart, funny, stunning redhead, is he?"

Lily smiled and shook her head. Will sighed and grabbed his trunk. He kissed her one last time and headed out the door. She followed him part of the way, and wished him a happy Christmas. As he headed out, Lily knocked on Remus door. The door opened and she walked into a shirtless James.

"Ah, Jesus, James!" She exclaimed.

He had dribbled toothpaste down his chin. " 'Orry" he said, his words blocked by the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. He turned around and retreated to the bathroom.

Lily saw Remus, and then looked at Sirius, who raised his eyebrows at her. "Remus do you want to get breakfast?" Lily asked, pointedly making eye contact with him.

Remus nodded and they headed out the door. Peter called after them, "I'll catch up with you in a minute!"

Lily quickly turned to Remus. "I am so so sorry, I didn't mean to walk in on you, I'm really not going to tell anyone."

Remus stopped her. "Lily really, it's okay. We both trust you with our lives, we wouldn't hold this against you." He shrugged, "It's kind of nice you know. You can cover for us now."

"When did this start?" She asked. They were walking quickly now so that Peter couldn't catch up to them.

"Near the beginning of term. The reason why Sirius thought I hated him was because I was trying to be distant, to get rid of my crush. I thought he was straight, and he would just feel uncomfortable if he knew that I-, I felt that way about him," Remus sighed, "But we've been together since after the first full moon." He smiled, "It feels good to tell someone that."

Lily smiled and squeezed his hand, "I'm really happy for you both. I honestly cannot think of two people better suited for each other than you two," She laughed, "And you can tell James and Peter that you're studying with me anytime you want so that they don't get suspicious."

Remus smiled and they sat down at the table. There were substantially less students now that the train had left and everyone had gone home. Peter came down a few minutes later. "Merlin, you guys walk fast." he wheezed.

Lily smiled at him and handed him the bowl of oatmeal. Sirius and James came down later, and Sirius wouldn't meet Lily's eye.

She tried to make the breakfast as little awkward as she could, but everyone seemed to feel out of place and tense.

In addition to the Remus and Sirius thing, Lily was thinking about what happened with Will. She had never done anything like that before. She wasn't sure why, but she felt guilty about it.

She also wanted it to be special. Maybe she was a romantic, but she always wanted her first time to be the whole rose petals on the bed, candles lit, soft music playing, romantic movie scene. It was embarrassing and she would never tell Will, but maybe he would pick up on it.

There was also just the thought of it being Will. He was attractive, and she wanted to snog him, but she didn't think that she loved him, and she wanted to really know that the person she gave her virginity to was someone special. Maybe she was being a prude.

"Lily!" Peter said, snapping her out of her contemplation.

"Yes?" She asked, sweetly.

"Are you okay? We've been saying your name for the past thirty seconds."

She looked sheepish. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about um, my Christmas presents! Actually, Sirius, would you mind giving me advice on my gift for Peter?" She gave Sirius a meaningful look, and Sirius begrudgingly followed her out of the great hall.

"I thought you got him the Bowie's greatest hits album like 2 months ago, Lils," Sirius said, looking at the floor.

"What? Oh yeah, I lied." She looked at the ground too, "Listen I just wanted to apologize for last night. I really didn't mean to invade your privacy like that, and it wasn't fair of me to find out about you two before you were ready to share it with me."

He looked up at her. "You aren't going to tell anyone, are you? Not even Marlene or Mary?"

Lily vehemently shook her head, "No, absolutely not. This is your secret, and it's not my place to determine when and how you share it with people." She reached out and squeezed his hand.

Sirius looked at her, tears in his eyes. "Thank you Lily. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier."

"You don't have to tell anyone before you're ready, even your best friend," Lily said, smiling kindly.

"Well, actually James is my best friend," Sirius laughed.

She pulled him into a hug. "Shhh, you're so distraught you're not making sense." He laughed and wriggled out of her embrace. "I told Remus I would cover for you guys any time you need, okay? And please feel free to gush about how amazing your new relationship is to me." She hugged him again. "I love you guys, and I'm happy for you. I'll be here for you no matter what, okay?"

He nodded, and they returned back to the Great Hall, where James was telling a couple of second years that a troll lived in the Forbidden Forest.

He smiled when she sat down, and Lily smiled back.

* * *

That evening they were all laying around in the common room, eating chocolate frogs and other Honeydukes candy, lazily making conversation.

"Did you guys notice we're the only Gryffindors that stayed behind?" Lily said.

"Really?" Sirius asked, "Not even some firsties?"

Lily shook her head. "Yeah my dorm is empty. It's going to be lonely sleeping in there tonight"

"We should just make a big bed down here and sleep in a pile," Peter suggested as he tried to grab his chocolate frog, but it jumped onto Remus and he bit the head off, throwing the rest back to him.

"Can we?" Lily asked.

He laughed. "I wasn't serious."

"Oh," Lily said, she was kind of hoping that she wouldn't have to sleep alone. It had been a while since she slept in a room by herself. Everytime she went home for summer break, it took her weeks to adjust.

"We can do it," said Sirius, "We can just bring down all of the pillows and blankets and make a fort."

"No, it's okay I'll be fine on my own," Lily said.

"Nah it'll be fun," Remus said, standing up. He started grabbing the couch cushions and laying them in a pile. He ran upstairs and Peter ran after him. They returned with all of the comforters and pillows from their dorm.

Lily laughed and summoned all of the blankets and pillows from her dorm too, earning a look from Remus. "What? I've had too much chocolate, I can't possibly walk up a staircase in this state."

They all arranged a bed of the cushions and pillows and laid the comforters out, climbing in. Remus and Sirius were next to each other on one side, Peter and Lily on the next, and James was awkwardly diagonal, with his face near Lily's torso and feet near Sirius, as he was the tallest and didn't fit length wise on the makeshift mattress.

Lily sighed, "Thanks, guys, I really didn't want to sleep alone. It feels too weird after always having people around."

"I know how that feels, Lily. Every time I go home and have to sleep alone it takes a while to adjust," Peter said, looking up at the ceiling. Lily nodded back.

Sirius laughed. "You better get used to it Wormtail. At this rate you'll be sleeping alone for a while."

"That's not true! He's the only one of you that has a girlfriend!" Lily protested. Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and she smiled sweetly back at him.

"Yeah that's true Padfoot. Looks like _I'm_ the ladies man now," Peter said, puffing out his chest.

"When nifflers fly, Wormy," Sirius retorted. Peter quieted and looked away.

They all settled in and got comfortable. Lily turned over on her stomach, facing James. He smiled at her and she reached out and bopped him on the nose before closing her eyes. In the warmth of the fire and the noise of everyone's breathing, Lily got the best sleep she had in awhile.

What felt like two seconds after she closed her eyes, Sirius shouted, "IT'S CHRISTMAS!" and Lily's eyes flew open. She was on her stomach, with her arm slung over Peter's torso, and James' head was resting on her back. She groaned and attempted to sit up, displacing James' head.

He also groaned and sat up. "Padfoot what time is it?"

"CHRISTMAS TIME MOTHER FUCKER!" He threw a candy cane and hit James square on the nose. James scowled at him, but opened the candy cane and started sucking on it.

They all got up and wrapped a comforter around themselves. Lily excused herself to her dorm for a minute so she could grab her presents for all of them. While she was up there she pulled on an oversized sweater and pulled her hair up into a messy bun, attempting to make her appearance better.

She brought the boxes down and made everyone form a circle. They all passed out the presents and sat for a minute. "You all have to open mine first," she commanded.

Sirius opened his first, which was a poster of a ducati motorcycle, a book of motorcycles with information about each brand and model, and bottle of Jameson whiskey. He looked at the whiskey in confusion. "I thought I'd introduce you to Muggle whiskey, which is better." Sirius laughed and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you Lils. Though this means next Christmas you have to buy me a motorcycle."

She smirked at him. "We'll see."

Peter opened his next, which was the Bowie's Greatest Hits album and a Muggle radio. Lily brightened. "I've been working on it since October. I've charmed it so it not only picks up all of London's stations, but also doesn't go haywire when you use magic." Peter beamed and dropped his head, blushing. He started reading the back of the Bowie album to see what songs were on there.

For Remus, Lily got him a huge box of Honeydukes chocolate, and a eagle feather quill. She beamed. "I charmed it so it will never go dull or break!" Remus stood up, hugged her, and whispered thank you into her ear.

"James, open yours, I'm so excited." He laughed and unwrapped the box. She had intricately wrapped all of the parcels, and for James she had managed to find wrapping paper with snitches on it.

He untied the bow and looked inside. There were a pair of dragon hide quidditch gloves, goggles, and a broom polishing kit. He looked up at her, and she was staring at him, barely containing her excitement. "Look! Try on the goggles. I made sure they fit over your glasses because I had Sirius steal them while you were sleeping and wear them." He snapped the goggles on. He was able to see everything just as normally as when he wasn't wearing them. He pulled out the broom polishing kit.

Lily looked nervous. "I asked the clerk and he said this one would be best for a Nimbus like yours."

"You remembered my broom model?" James asked incredulously.

"Well I had to ask Sirius to write it down and I showed it to the clerk, but yes." She picked up the gloves. "And look! These are dragon hide so they stay dry no matter what weather you're playing in. And they have traction on the palms so your hands will never slip off of the broom!"

James looked at her, smiling. "Lily this is, this is incredible, thank you so much." Lily smiled. James watched her for a few moments more, then looked back down on her presents. He sat quietly for a while, feeling the material of the gloves, opening the broom kit. The rest continued to open their presents. Sirius gave Lily a pair of wool socks.

"Sirius! You know my feet get cold, thank you!" Lily exclaimed, pulling the socks on and showing everyone. Sirius gave James a "told you so" look and James rolled his eyes.

Everyone had finished, and they were all sitting amongst the paper and ribbon. James pulled out Lily's present.

"I had to save the best for last, you know." James said, handing her the package. She rolled her eyes and accepted the package. She delicately undid the twine and the brown paper covering it.

She gasped when she saw the box. She ran her hand over the smooth wood and traced her initials with her finger.

James leaned over. "Watch." He unlatched the lock and the box slid open, revealing the ingredients and the cascades of shelves. "And if you lift the bottom shelf, there's a secret compartment under it."

Lily looked at the box in disbelief. James shifted. "Do you like it?" She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes. James panicked, "Shit, Lily, no don't cry, I'm sorry, what did I do?"

She wasn't sure why she was crying. The box was gorgeous and perfectly made. The stress from the term and her happiness just all came out in the form of tears. "No I just-" She sobbed, and gestured towards the box and back at him. She set down the box and motioned James to come towards her.

James looked at the rest of the Marauders in fear and awkwardly crawled over to where Lily was sitting. She pulled him into a tight embrace and James wrapped his arms around her. "This is the," she sniffed, "I'm sorry, just this is the nicest present I've ever gotten. I'm sorry, I don't why I'm crying. Thank you so much."

James patted her on the back. "I'm uh, I'm glad you like it. The witch at the apothecary said it has a magical seal that means your ingredients will never go bad." Lily sobbed again, still holding onto James.

Peter laughed, "Lily, why are you crying?"

"I don't know!" She started crying more. "It's just so pretty and it has so many ingredients and I just, it's just the best present I've ever gotten."

"Lily I've known you six years and I've never seen you cry," Remus remarked, as utterly stunned as James.

"I don't like crying in front of people, just this is, this is just, this is just amazing." She was still holding on to James, and he was stroking her back.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Lily, I just thought you needed a new box," James said.

"I did need a new box," she cried. She let him go. "And now I got tears on your sweater, I'm sorry."

James laughed, "It's okay. But, you, you like the box? These are happy tears?"

More tears streamed down Lily's face. "I love it."

Lily probably should have felt embarrassed for sobbing over a box, but she couldn't help it. James had been so thoughtful. She was so happy to spend Christmas with her friends in her favorite place in the world.

For the rest of the day she cradled the box or held it in her lap. She repeatedly opened it, moving things around or pushing the shelves in and out.

James watched her all day. He had no idea why she had cried, but he thought it was endearing that she cared so much about the box. She kept looking up to catch him staring at her, and she just smiled at him, cradling the box tighter, or held it up to him. He laughed and nodded back at her, grinning.

They went down to the Christmas feast, and Lily took the box with her. She sat down next to Slughorn and showed him every little piece of it.

"Look, it has a secret compartment under everything. I can keep notes in there about the changes I make to the recipes. Whenever I'm brewing I can pull them out and look at them. And it has a magical seal so the ingredients will never go bad. Isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen, Professor?" She beamed up at him and Slughorn ran his hand over the lid.

Slughorn nodded. "Whoever bought that for you must care about you very much." He winked at James.

James watched the whole exchange, enamored. Peter gave him a look, and he chuckled and kept watching Lily. She returned to sit next to him.

James was sitting back, laughing with his friends and watching Lily open and close the box when he saw Snape slink into the hall. He immediately sat up and scooted closer to Lily. She smiled up at him and leaned against him.

He watched Snape out of the corner of his eye. Lily pulled him into another hug, and he could see Snape clearly. They made eye contact, and Snape dropped his fork and pushed away from the table, darting from the Great Hall.

Lily hadn't noticed. "Thank you so much, James," she whispered in his ear. He got chills, feeling her breath on his neck.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered back.

She let him go and turned to the rest of the group. "This isn't fair."

"What isn't fair?" Sirius asked.

"I'm supposed to be the good gift giver of the group," Lily said, faking pouting, then smiling at James.

"Don't worry Lils, he's still rubbish at giving us presents," Remus laughed, and James glared at him.

They returned to the common room and set up their floor bed again. Peter, Remus, and Sirius went upstairs to brush their teeth and get changed, but Lily had James hang back.

"James, I just want you to know that that present is the sweetest, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. I know to a lot of people it would just seem like a silly box, but since Slughorn's party I've been thinking I might want to go into Potions as a career, and this just, this means a lot to me." She cradled the box to her chest. "And it's pretty." James laughed. She frowned and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry I cried."

James laughed, "Lils, it's fine. I'm really glad you enjoyed your present. Everyone had me worried that my gift wouldn't be as good as yours. It wasn't, but I think I came close."

Lily stepped forward and pulled him into another hug. "I really underestimated you," she whispered.

James heart jumped to his throat. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight, not wanting to let go. When she heard the rest of the group coming down the stairs she pulled away and ran upstairs to change into pajamas.

James sat on the arm of the cushionless sofa and put his head in his hands. "Guys, I'm so fucked."

They all nodded. "We know," said Peter.


	13. Down The Wrong Path

The end of break came too fast for Lily. For the first time ever, she wasn't ready to go back to classes. She wanted to exist in winter break forever, drinking hot cocoa, getting into snowball fights, and laying around, talking about what their futures might be like.

Her roommates returned to Hogwarts and she returned to her dorm, sad to say goodbye to the warm atmosphere of their giant, five-person bed.

Monday morning hit Lily like a freight train. She trudged down the steps towards breakfast, slowly eating toast and dozing off into her hand. She nearly fell off the bench when Will squeezed her waist and sat down next to her. He kissed her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she lied with a smile. If she was honest she had all but forgotten about him over break, and was dreading his return. Not because she didn't still like him, but she was afraid to face what happened before break, and was afraid that he might try to take it that way again.

Lily hadn't thought about it all during the break, but in that moment she realized she didn't want to go any further than snogging with him, at least for a while. She knew that if she could completely forget about him for the few weeks they were apart, it wasn't a good sign.

"Did you have a good break?" He asked.

Lily nodded. "Yes, it was quiet, but it was good."

"What did you do?"

Lily hesitated. She knew he was already wary of her and James' friendship. "Oh you know, caught up on homework, got some reading done."

Will laughed, "Only you would do work over winter break." He kissed her on the nose. "I'm going to class. How about we go to the library to study after you're done or so I can catch up on the work I _didn't_ do over the break."

Lily nodded and smiled, watching him leave. She gathered up her things and headed downstairs towards the dungeons. James caught up with her and she sighed. Now she felt guilty about James.

"Excited for Potions?" He slung his arm around her shoulder, and she wriggled out. He looked at her, confusion spread across his face.

She felt bad, but it was best for him and for her if they weren't all over each other like they had been over break. She knew and James knew that it was platonic, but rumors traveled quickly in Hogwarts, and she was sure that Will wasn't happy that she spent all of Christmas break with the Marauders.

He shook his head and they went into the dungeon. Lily set her box on the table and unlatched the lock, looking at James when it opened. He smiled at her.

They went right into brewing, and Lily seemed to be concentrating extra hard.

While she was stirring, James tried to talk. "So I thought after class we could go out to the pitch and see how the new gloves and goggles turn out. It's finally not snowing anymore, and it looks like the sun will stay out 'til this afternoon."

Lily shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "I'm sorry James I'm studying with Will after class."

James suddenly understood the change in her demeanor. "Oh. Well, that's fine. Some other time." He chopped up some ginger and handed it to her.

She smiled sadly at him. "Yeah, sometime soon though." He nodded, looking at the book.

After class Lily went to the library, finding Will at a table near the back. She sat down and pulled out her Transfiguration book. She was having trouble turning a mouse into a needle, and she was hoping that reading through the theory again would help her understand it better.

"Have a good day, flower?" He asked, smiling at her. She nodded and flipped through her book.

Several minutes passed in silence, and Lily suddenly felt his hand sliding up her thigh and under her skirt. She jumped, grabbing his hand and placing it back on the table.

Will looked startled. "Oh, sorry."

"That's okay," she said, quietly.

They returned to their work, but Lily couldn't focus on the words. Her mind kept wandering to her feelings about the whole situation.

She felt guilty whenever Will touched her, because she was afraid she was leading him on. She felt guilty whenever James looked at her, because she felt like their new friendship might have given him the wrong idea.

She sighed. _Boys are stupid_ , she thought. She supposed she needed to talk to Will and tell him that she wasn't ready for what he wanted. She pushed her chair out and stood up, putting her book back into her bag. "I think I'm going to head back to the common room," she said.

"I'll come with you." He stood also, putting his books bag in his bag as well. He held her hand and they walked out of the library towards the tower. They reached an empty corridor and Will turned to push her up against the wall. He tried to kiss her but Lily put her hand on his chest and held him back. He looked confused. "What are you doing?"

"I just don't want to do this. Especially not right now, in the middle of the corridor," she said, "Let's just go back to the common room."

Will stopped her. "I don't understand."

"What do you mean?" She looked at him, then at his hand gripping her wrist, preventing her from leaving. She did not like that.

"I don't understand how you can be all over me before break, then as soon as I get back you're keeping me at arms length, acting like we haven't done this before. What happened while I was gone?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Lily scoffed. "Nothing happened!" He gave her a look. "Nothing happened at all, and I'm offended that you would even insinuate that. I just decided that I'm not ready for this. I like you, a lot, but we've only been dating for two months." She pulled her wrist out of his grip, with difficulty. "I don't want to lead you on, and I'm sorry if I was unclear before. But I just don't want to do this right now."

"I'm not insinuating anything. I'm just saying, you've been spending a lot of time with Potter, who you hated until two months ago, and he's in love with you and-"

Lily cut him off, "HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME." Her voice echoed in the corridor, and she quieted. "He's not in love with me. We're just friends. I don't think it's fair that you would assume that any male I'm friends with would automatically make me want to cheat on you." She narrowed her eyes, "Maybe you're not mature enough to have friends of the opposite sex without wanting to shag them, but I am."

He rolled his eyes. "So now I'm immature?"

"Maybe." She looked at him. "You're being very immature right now, and I'm going to give you time to calm down." She turned on her heel and walked quickly towards the tower.

Will followed her. "You're being ridiculous. You know I'm right and I have a reason to question you, when your behavior has completely changed over the course of a few weeks."

Lily ignored him and kept walking. She made it to the portrait hole, gave the password and stepped through. She immediately breezed past her friends and almost sprinted up the steps.

Will entered the common room a few moments behind her, watching her retreating form head up the staircase. He slammed the door behind him, which earned a rude exclamation from the fat lady. "Ridiculous!" He exclaimed and headed up his own staircase.

James was watching from his spot at one of the tables, and frowned, but he returned to his work.

* * *

The next day in Care of Magical Creatures, she and Alice were attempting to keep track of all of their bowtruckles.

"I thought we were done with these," Lily lamented, grabbing one that was crawling off to the side and putting it back with the others.

"I know, me too. I think Professor Kettleburn is being lazy." Alice nodded towards their teacher, who was lounging in a chair off to the side. Lily laughed and nodded in agreement. Alice gave her a side look. "What's going on with you and Will?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "He's being a prat," she scoffed, "He actually thought that I was cheating on him with James."

Alice shrugged. "I mean, you did spend a few weeks together, and he got you that nice potions box."

"I also spent two weeks with Peter, Sirius, and Remus, but he didn't accuse me of shagging any of them," Lily retorted, sassier than she meant to be. She smiled, trying to make up for it.

"I know. He should trust you more than that." Alice was letting one of the bowtruckles climb up her arm, letting him jump on to her hand to switch to her other arm whenever it reached her shoulder.

"Boys are just stupid," Lily complained. "How is Frank?"

Alice smiled. "We're good. He's talking a lot about the future. It think he's getting pretty serious."

"Do you want it to get serious?"

"Yes," she said, giggling. Lily laughed with her, then lunged to grab an escaping bowtruckle. "So how come we never see you anymore? Have you and Frank found an empty classroom to take up residence in?" Lily joked.

"We don't need an empty classroom, we have his Head's Dorm," Alice replied.

"The what?" Lily was caught off guard.

"The Head's Dorm. The Head Boy and Girl get their own dorm, common room and everything."

Lily looked at her, incredulous. "And you just neglected to mention this the entire term? We could have studied in there!"

Alice laughed, "Well it is Jean's common room too, I doubt she would want us setting up shop in there."

"Wait a minute-" Lily grabbed Alice's arm and looked at her. "Does this mean that you two have..." Lily trailed off, not wanting to finish her sentence.

Alice nodded and Lily gasped. "Really?" She nodded and again and Lily laughed. "How was it?" She didn't reply, but rather smiled and giggled, which Lily took to mean good. "Wow, Alice. That's crazy."

"I think we're going to be together for a long time. Frank is always talking about the future, moving in together, stuff like that."

"That's great, Alice, I know you two will be really happy together." Lily squeezed Alice's hand, but then let go to lunge after another escaping bowtruckle. While they were talking, several had started making an escape.

They played with the bowtruckles and talked lightly until Professor Kettleburn dismissed them.

They were walking back up to the castle when Frank stopped them. "Hey, Lily. I have some bad news." Lily frowned, "Remus said he has to go visit his sick mum tonight, and the only person available to do patrols with you tonight is Snape."

Lily's stomach dropped, but she quickly regained her composure. She couldn't draw any attention to Remus' absence. "Frank, it's fine. Not like I can't handle him." She laughed, and made a motion with her fist, insinuating that she would punch him again if he tried anything. She walked past him, leaving him and Alice alone. Lily saw them look at each other, silently communicating their worry.

She went back to the common room, dreading tonight. She sat on the couch, her plans to do her homework abandoned. She laid her head back, but was immediately brought back by the sound of the portrait hole closing. She looked up and saw Will staring at her. She narrowed her eyes and laid her head back down.

"I'm sorry."

She opened her eyes. "Are you now?"

Will frowned. "I'm sorry I got angry with you. I was being a jealous prat."

"Yes you were," Lily stated. "I don't appreciate you implying that I would cheat on you, and especially with James." She sighed, "James and I are trying to be friends this year, putting everything behind us, and I do not like the fact that people assume we're together just because I'm no longer hexing him in the corridors."

"I know, I was just being stupid," Will said. He sat down on the couch next to her and started playing with her hair.

"I'm sorry that I lead you on. I was unsure of my feelings about the whole situation, and I'm sure I sent some mixed signals." She looked down at her hands. "We've only been dating for a few months, and I just want to take things slow and wait until it's really special."

Will nodded and rested his head against her shoulder and nuzzled his face into her neck. "I'm sorry, flower."

She stroked his hair. "Me too." They sat like that for a while, but Lily still felt weird. There was a nagging voice in the back of her head that made her feel like this was still wrong.

She ignored it, hoping that whatever weird feelings were surrounding this would go away.

* * *

Lily stood anxiously in the entrance hall, tapping her foot. She saw movement in the corner of her eye and she whipped around to face Snape, who had slinked in..

She nodded at him once. "I think we can split up and then meet back here at the end."

"Maybe we should stick together," Snape said, quietly.

"Why? Didn't get enough earlier? Do you want me to punch you again?" Lily scoffed and turned away. Snape stepped in front of her.

"It's probably not safe to go alone," he whispered.

Lily thought for a moment, measuring her options. She was sure Mulciber and Avery knew that Snape was on patrols with Lily tonight, and who knew if they planning anything. She looked at Snape, who she really did not want to spend the night with. She narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But no talking."

She saw disappointment cross his face, but he nodded and they headed up the stairs to the second floor. They did a lap of the corridors, their footsteps echoing through the quiet stone halls of the castle. Lily shivered, the cool drafty air hitting her skin. Snape looked at her and she glared back at him.

They went up to the next floor, and the floor after that. There was nothing to be found. The castle was silent and empty. They walked around for another hour, the silence driving Lily wild. Every sound made her heart pound, and she kept her hand in her pocket, clutching her wand tightly.

They were patrolling near the astronomy when Snape gasped sharply. Lily whirled around to look at him.

"What was that?" She hissed.

"It's nothing." Snape pushed his sleeve down further and kept walking. Lily grabbed his arm.

"What's on your arm?" She asked. He tried to yank his wrist out of her grip but failed. She was always stronger than him. She pushed his sleeve up, revealing a dark skull tattoo with a snake spilling out of the mouth and coiling down his forearm. She gasped and dropped his arm like it burned her. She pulled her wand. "What is that?"

He sneered, "None of your business."

She felt a pang in her chest. She was certain she recognized that symbol. "Sev, what did you do?"

She could see the sadness in his eyes. He cleared his throat and stood up straighter, as if he was trying to own his action. "What I had to."

She shook her head and stepped back, away from him. Her eyes were wide and terrified. He moved forward and reached out for her, but she pushed him away.

"Lily, you don't understand," he said quietly, his dark eyes pleading with her.

"What don't I understand?"

"There's a war, you aren't safe. I'm trying to protect you," he said, his voice breaking. He sounded so pitiful, Lily almost wanted to believe him.

She shook her head again. "You're delusional! How could you possibly think that this would protect me? You're putting yourself in danger! You're, you're supporting him!" She paused, the gravity of the situation really hitting her. "Sev, he wants to kill people like me. If you're trying to protect me, he'll kill you too."

"He'll see how powerful you are and he won't care about your blood status. He won't hurt you if I ask," he explained, talking quickly.

Lily couldn't help but laugh. Not a real laugh, but a strange scoff that came out harshly. "And what about people like me? What about my friends? My family? Are you going to bring him a list of all of the people he's not allowed to murder?" Lily's voice continued to rise, the anger swelling inside of her. "What about David Jones? What about Anna? Were you going to ask about them too?"

Snape looked down, abashed. "That's different, Lily."

"Like hell it is! So now only people you care about get to live? The others don't matter?"

"You're not safe, Lily," he repeated, clearly thinking of no other rationale to convince her.

"None of us are, but I'd rather die than spend one second supporting Voldemort."

"Lily, please," he begged.

"You disgust me," she spat. She turned and ran away from him. He called out after her, but she ran as fast as she could back to Gryffindor tower.

She was running and came into contact with something hard. She fell back and drew her wand, but there was nothing in the corridor. "Lumos," she whispered. There was nothing. She stood up cautiously, and then felt a strong arm grab her and cloth drop over her. She tried to scream but a hand muffled her mouth.

She kicked and thrashed, elbowing her assailant hard in the ribs. He gasped for air and she took the time to turn around and shove her wand in his face. She was not expecting, James, Peter, and Sirius to be blinking back at her.

"What in the bloody hell do you think you all are doing?" She hissed at them.

"Lily calm down. Why were you running? What's happening?" Peter asked. Lily realized she had elbowed James, and he was hunched over wheezing.

"What are you all doing out at night?" She looked around, "What is this? Some sort of invisibility cloak?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes. Let's get you back to the tower." He made to walk forward, but Lily stopped him.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing, can we just go back, please?" Peter asked, helping James stand upright. Lily relented begrudgingly, and they all shuffled awkwardly underneath the cloak, bumping into each other and stepping on each other's toes until they reached the safety of the common room.

Lily tumbled out from under the cloak as soon as they entered and rounded on them. "Where did you get an invisibility cloak? What were you doing out so late?"

James countered, "Why were you running?"

Lily frowned. "I was finished with patrols and I wanted to get back quickly."

"Why are you doing patrols if Remus isn't there?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"Someone else filled in for him tonight," Lily said, feigning calm apathy.

"Who?"

Lily turned around, no longer facing them. "Snape," she mumbled.

All three started yelling, and she heard Sirius' voice the loudest. "Lily, they could have ambushed you!"

Lily turned back and waved her hands, attempting to shush them. "I know, okay, I know!" She sighed, "I wasn't hurt, nothing happened, it was fine."

"Why were you running?" James asked in a low tone. He narrowed his eyes at her and took a step forward.

Lily looked up at him, his height intimidating her. "No reason."

"Lily," James warned, stepping closer to her. "Why. Were you. Running." She looked up at him, noticing how much taller he was than her. He towered over her.

She looked down. "I think, I think Snape has taken the Dark Mark."

All three voices started shouting again, and Lily shushed them desperately. "Will you all shut up? People are trying to sleep."

"What did you see? What happened?" Peter asked, steering her towards the armchairs by the fire. She sat down in one and they all stood around her, like an interrogation.

"He has a tattoo on his forearm. It's a black skull with a snake wrapped up in it," Lily said quietly. James swore. Peter looked like he might be sick. Sirius just shook his head. Lily spoke up, "It could be a coincidence though! I don't know what the Dark Mark looks like, maybe it was something else."

"You don't believe that," James said. Lily looked down again. She knew what she saw.

She looked back up and stared James down defiantly. She deflected, "Why were you all out sneaking through the halls?"

"Snape is a Death Eater and that's what you're worried about?" Sirius asked, incredulous.

"Should we tell Dumbledore?" Peter asked nervously.

Lily looked at James, who shrugged. "I mean I don't think he would do anything. He has annoying way of not actually dealing with things." Lily nodded and bit her lip.

"I just can't believe he would do this. I know that he's been… involved in the Dark Arts for a while, but I didn't think that it would go this far. I always thought that maybe he would come back." She looked away. "Realize that he didn't have to be like them."

Sirius pulled her into a hug. "I know." he stroked her back. "But there's no turning back now." He let go and looked at James. "What should we do?"

James shook his head. "I don't know. He's too far gone, I don't think there's anything we can do at this point." He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "We just have to protect the people who get in their way, I guess."

Lily nodded, but she hated that it was true. If Snape had gone so far to actually pledge himself to Voldemort, there was no turning back now. She stared back up at them and narrowed her eyes. "So why were guys sneaking around the castle at night?"

They all groaned, and Lily began to protest, but Sirius cut her off, "Let it go, love." He flashed his characteristic smile that made girls swoon. And boys swoon, Lily supposed.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to bed. Maybe we can deal with this in the morning." The three boys nodded, and they split off to their respective dorms. Try as she might, Lily didn't get any sleep that night.


	14. Someone Loves You, I'm Sorry

The next day Lily sat at the Gryffindor table, trying not to fall asleep into her porridge. Her eyes burned, and she had neglected to put any effort into her appearance.

Will sat down next to her and saw her face, with her bloodshot eyes and dark moons stamped under her eyes. "Wow, you look like crap," he remarked.

Lily glared at him. "Thanks."

"Sorry. I just meant you look tired. Late night patrolling?" He asked. He combed his fingers through her hair, attempting to untangle some of the mess.

Lily gave a subtle look to James, who shook his head once. "Yeah. Some fourth years were sneaking around. It took a while to deal with them." Her look at James didn't go unnoticed by Will. He glared at James, and put his arm around Lily. James flashed a grin at Will.

"I'm sorry. Maybe you can get some rest before dinner tonight." He kissed the top of her head. Lily nodded, pushing her food around. She didn't feel like eating or resting. She wanted to take her anger out on something. She felt useless in this situation, and neither she nor James knew what to do. She wondered if she should try to talk with Severus, convince him to get Dumbledore's help. She wasn't sure how serious it was to take the Mark, but she was sure that it would be difficult to pull himself out now. She felt like she had to do something, like she had to stop him.

She still missed being his friend, and she wanted to keep him safe. She hated his friends for dragging him into this. She sighed. No matter what happened though, it was nobody's fault but his own. He could have said no, gotten help, _something_.

Lily was pulled from her thoughts by Remus joining them at the table. He leaned over to Lily and whispered, "Lily you look worse than I do."

She laughed. "Well that's because you look gorgeous. I'm glad the potion is working."

He smiled, then looked at her sadly. "James told me what happened last night, I'm sorry." Will, at this point, was eavesdropping.

"What do you mean? What happened last night?" He looked at James, then at Remus.

"He just meant the patrols, Will. I didn't get to bed until two or so," Lily said, calming him with a look.

"That's true, I heard her come in late," Marlene said, through a mouthful of sausage.

Will nodded, though he looked at James again. James smiled to himself, glad that he could make him insecure.

Remus spoke up, "Are you guys ready to go to Potions?" Lily nodded and stood up, But Will grabbed her hand and kissed her, much more intensely than she would have liked to display in the Great Hall. She pulled away and furrowed her brow. She shook her head at him. He gave her his now-signature confused look whenever she held back physically.

She, Remus, and James walked to Potions together. "I don't think I should be lying to him. He's already worried."

"Well you can't exactly tell him that your ex best friend is a Death Eater, and that he may try to attack you," James said, rubbing her back as they walked. "The less people that know about it, the better. Who knows what kind of chaos would ensue if everyone thought Death Eaters were roaming about." She stepped away from him, and James pulled his arm back, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be too friendly with her.

Her eyes widened. "You don't think he would attack me, would he?" James shrugged and pushed open the door to the dungeon. Snape wasn't anywhere to be seen, much to Lily's relief.

They settled onto their stools and began brewing. Lily tried to concentrate on the potion, but her mind kept wandering. James grabbed her wrist right as she was about to add crushed beetle. She looked at him in bewilderment. "Lily, you aren't supposed to add those yet, right? Won't it like, explode?"

Lily looked down at her book, confused. He was right, she had entirely skipped a step. She nodded and thanked him. He looked at her. If she was messing up potions, she must be really distraught. He patted her awkwardly on the back. She tried to laugh and returned to the potion.

Later, after class, she went up to her dorm and slept right through dinner. Unfortunate for her, James, Sirius, and Remus all did too, and their absence was noticed by Will and the rest of the Gryffindors.

In complete character, rumors spread around Hogwarts that James and Lily were becoming more than friends. Everyone had noticed the increased contact and the time they were spending together. Lily had to fire back sarcastic retorts to anyone who mentioned it, but Will was still not happy with the situation. As the week went on, he had taken to aggressively displaying their relationship in public places. He held her hand whenever they walked through the corridors, kissed her before every class, and spent all of their meal times with his hand wrapped around her waist.

Lily thought this was a stupid response to the whole ordeal, but she decided not to say anything. She figured it would only make things worse if she and Will got into another fight.

James, however, was loving the situation. He smiled whenever he heard people saying that they seemed like they could be a good couple. He wasn't helping the rumors, as he wasn't denying anything. He wan't confirming anything either though, so he didn't see an issue.

Later in the week, James was laying on his bed, debating how long he could procrastinate his Transfiguration essay before he really needed to start it. Remus and Peter came in and stood over his bed ominously.

"Are you going to kidnap me?" James joked. They both sat down.

"I know what you're doing, Prongs," Remus said, looking at his shoes.

"Procrastinating? Yeah I know, I'll start it in a bit," James said, laughing.

"I know you're enjoying the rumors that are spreading about you and Lily."

James rolled his eyes. "Oh please, I'm not doing anything."

"Well, you're not helping."

"What do you want me to do? Publicly announce that Lily and I, are in fact, not together? That would just make everyone think we're trying to hide it," James scoffed, rolling off his bed.

"You're just hurting Lily, she's already dealing with enough right now, she doesn't need the whole student body debating her love life," Peter said, though he recoiled when James glared at him.

Remus sighed, "Look, Prongs, I know you don't want to hear this, but Lily isn't going to date you." He backtracked when he saw his face. "Right now, at least." Remus went over to his side of the room and pretended to tidy his bed, which was already made. "I'm just saying, maybe you should try to move on, and just settle with being friends with her."

James looked from Remus to Peter, then back at Remus. "Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot," he said sarcastically, with a little more bite in his tone than he intended.

"James-" Peter started, but was cut off by James slamming the door behind him. He trotted down the steps and saw Will and Lily sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her, and Lily was reading her Transfiguration book, frowning. James rolled his eyes and climbed out of the portrait hole, heading for the grounds.

He walked around, ending up at the lake. He sat on the shore and started tossing rocks into the black water, watching the ripples they made when they landed.

He knew they were right, but there was always a little hopeful voice in his head that said that he and Lily could end up together. The voice had gotten louder, especially after the break. They had become such good friends, and always spent so much time together. _But she spends just as much time with Peter, Sirius, and Remus,_ another voice in his head said maliciously, _she isn't interested in any of them, either._

James shook his head. This was different though. There was something else between them, he was sure of it.

He laid down on his back, looking up at the sky. He supposed he should try to get over her. He knew he never would be able to, but he should at least try, for her sake. He knew that he was just hurting her by still being interested in her. But it had only been six months, and she had already warmed up to him so much. At this rate they could be married by the end of seventh year. He chuckled at that thought. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself.

He sighed, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.

"Hey, mate." Sirius' voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"How'd you know I was out here?" James asked. Sirius held up the map, and James nodded. Of course.

"Moony told me what happened."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter," James brushed it off and sat up again. He sat with his legs bent, his arms around them. Sirius sat down beside him.

"I'm sure it does," Sirius patted his back. "Maybe you just need to find a bird to shag and you'll get over her," he joked.

James rolled his eyes, "I could shag a hundred girls, it wouldn't change anything." Maybe he was right though. He could find a nice girl to distract him for a while. It'd help with dispelling the rumors, he thought.

Sirius shrugged. "A hundred girls? Maybe you should at least try." James rolled his eyes, "Strictly for research purposes, of course." Sirius amended, grinning wickedly.

"Maybe I can find someone to mess around for a while with," he mumbled.

Sirius laughed. "Maybe you'll make her jealous and she'll come running."

"That's the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do, Pads." James flopped back down again.

"Well Valentine's Day is coming up, I'm sure any girl would be desperate to go to Hogsmeade with you," Sirius suggested, tossing a rock in the water.

James opened one eye and looked at Sirius. "That's not a bad idea."

"You could ask that Lydia girl."

James gave Sirius a quizzical look. "I thought she had a crush on Moony."

James thought he saw Sirius tense, but maybe it was just the cold breeze. He spoke up, "Nah, and Moony would never go for her anyways. She's too-" he hesitated, "Girly."

"Too girly?"

"Yeah, I just don't think she's his type," Sirius said simply.

"Do you think Moony would be mad if I asked her?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, I don't think he would care."

"Are you sure?" James confirmed. He didn't want to undercut Remus just to try to get over Lily.

Sirius didn't answer for a moment, staring out of the water. His demeanor changed completely, deviating from his usual carefree attitude as a somber, pensive look crossed his face. "Can I talk to you about something?" He asked. James nodded, a little confused. "I just," he paused, nervously playing with a strand of his hair. "First off I just want to tell you that I hope that what I'm about to say isn't going to change anything in our friendship."

"What do you mean?" James asked, worried.

"I'm still the same person, the person you've been friends with for years-"

James interrupted, "Sirius, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Sirius' tone and hesitation worried him.

Sirius looked up from his hands, meeting James' eye. "James, I'm in a relationship with Remus. I'm bisexual."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, or if you don't-"

James cut him off by reaching out and grabbing his hand from its place in his hair. "I'm not uncomfortable. I know you're still the same Sirius. This doesn't change anything." Sirius gave him a lopsided smile. "We've been friends since we were eleven." James shook his head. "No, we're brothers. We're family, and we'll always be family."

"I love you," Sirius said, his voice cracking slightly.

"I love you too." James pulled Sirius' hand and they hugged, embracing each other. "I'm glad you decided to tell me."

"Lily knows too."

"What?" He pulled away from the hug. "You told Lily before you told me? Your best friend?"

"We didn't mean to. She walked in on us, you know," he said sheepishly.

"I'm hurt," James accused, laughing lightly. He smiled at Sirius. "Well at least you told me. How long has this been going on?"

"Since September," Sirius answered.

"You've been together for," he counted on his fingers, "eight months, and you _just_ decided to tell me?" He asked, incredulous.

"We were scared. We didn't want things to change," Sirius explained quietly.

James shook his head. "I feel terrible that you felt scared to tell me."

"It wasn't the fact that it was you in particular, it's just the fact that people always think differently of you when you tell them something like that," Sirius said.

"You can tell me anything and I would never stop being friends with you. I will love and support you no matter what you decide to do."

"What if I became a Death Eater?" Sirius joked.

James wrinkled his nose. "Alright almost anything you decide to do." He leaned back against his pillows. "So Remus, huh?" He shook his head. "Unbelievable. Even Moony and Wormtail are getting more action than I am."

Lily woke up and groaned. It was Valentine's Day. She hated Valentine's Day. Not because she wanted to be cool and hate romance and love. She loved romance, and would love Valentine's Day if everyone in the castle wasn't grossly displaying their affection. Every person felt forced to find a date to the Hogsmeade weekend, which was ridiculous to her. Everyone always ended up disappointed somehow. It is a stupid holiday designed to make people buy overpriced chocolate and flowers.

Mary had been on a quest to get Sirius to ask her to Hogsmeade and was flirting relentlessly with him. Lily wanted to tell her why he would never ask her out, but she couldn't. She tried not to get her hopes up, and even suggested that she go out with one of Will's roommates, or Anna's boyfriend's friend from Ravenclaw.

She had her eyes set on Sirius, though.

Lily was mostly dreading facing Will. He had gotten more aggressive in order to show that they were very much a couple. She feared he would do something crazy today to remind everyone that they were, in fact, dating. She felt like he might as well let a billboard that said in big bold letters, "I, Will Price, am dating Lily Jane Evans."

She thought for a second. She didn't think he knew her middle name, and she definitely didn't know his.

She rolled out of bed and went to brush her teeth. She was not expecting what she found in the bathroom. It was like they had opened a hair salon in the middle of the loo.

Anna, Alice, Marlene, and Mary were all shoved in the bathroom, each one fighting for mirror space. They were applying lip gloss, fixing their hair, and looking at their outfits. She smiled at the ordeal, then quietly closed the door and walked down the stairs and up the boys staircase. She knocked on the boy's door, and Peter opened it. He was wearing a nice button down shirt, and slicked his hair back.

His hair pulled back like that gave his face a sharper definition, kind of making him look like a rat. Lily smiled, "You look sharp, Pete!"

He blushed. "Do you think so?" He played with his cuff sleeves. "It's for Stacy."

Lily smiled. Peter had been dating the fourth year he danced with at the Halloween party, but she didn't actually know her name until now. "I'm happy for you. She's lucky to go out with such a gentleman." She stepped inside.

Sirius looked at her. "Lily, why are you in your pajamas? Are we going to have a pillow fight?" He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes.

She held up her toothbrush. "Can I use your bathroom to brush my teeth? Mine has been overrun."

He nodded, "Yeah, James is in the shower, but you can wait until he's done. Or you can join him." He winked again.

Lily looked down at her feet, "Please don't," she said quietly.

Sirius blinked stupidly and he looked at Remus, who shook his head. "Shit sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. I was just joking."

"It's okay," Lily said, still looking at her feet. She heard the bathroom door open and James emerged in a towel.

"Hey Padfoot, do you think Lydia will want to shag me if I wear your cologne?"

Lily cleared her throat, and James noticed her.. His eyes widened; he looked stricken. "Lily, what are you doing in here?" He looked at her tank top and shorts. She definitely was not wearing a bra. "Are you in your pajamas?"

She laughed. "No this is my Valentine's day outfit, do you like it?" James looked at her, bewildered. "You dolt, yes these are my pajamas. I just wanted to brush my teeth in your bathroom, if that's okay." She held her toothbrush up again weakly.

James nodded and stepped out of the doorway, gesturing for her to go in. She slipped in and felt the steam of James' shower hit her. She cleared the condensation off of the mirror with her palm and looked at her reflection. She frowned. Was he going with Lydia to Hogsmeade?

She shook her head. That did not matter to her. Not at all. She started brushing her teeth.

Outside in the dorm, James rounded on Sirius, "Fuck Pads you couldn't have told me she was in here before I came out shouting about screwing a random girl?"

Sirius threw up his hands in defense, "What was I supposed to do? Open the door to your bare arse and let you know that the love of your life was hanging out in here?"

"She is not the love of my life, Merlin." James kicked his shoe under his bed. "Fuck, I'm so stupid."

Lily emerged from the bathroom, and looked at James, then looked away quickly. "Sorry to interrupt. Thank you for letting me borrow your bathroom. I'll see you guys at Hogsmeade."

She quickly slipped out the door, and stood against the wood for a minute. She realized how this might look to an outsider, emerging from James' dorm in nothing but a thin tank top and some shorts. She sprinted down their staircase and up her own, slamming the door behind her, breathing heavily.

She sat on her bed and brushed her hair, then put on a sweater and a nice pair of dark jeans.

She peeked into the bathroom again, "Hey guys, I'm going to be in the common room whenever you're done."

Mary waved at her, "Sorry to take over the bathroom, Lily!"

Lily laughed. "That's okay. You look beautiful, by the way!" Mary giggled and spun around. Lily gave her a thumbs up, then shut the door. She went down the steps to the common room.

What she saw horrified her. Will was standing in the middle of the common room, and surrounding him were a dozen bouquets of white lilies.

Will laughed at her face, which he must have taken for surprise rather than terror. "Do you like it? Lilies for my Lily Flower." He pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed him back, but kept her eyes open, looking at the bouquets in the periphery of her vision.

They pulled apart. Will was looking at her expectantly. Lily forgot he asked her a question. "Oh! Yes, they're um, they're lovely. Thank you."

He smiled and kissed her again. Mary came down and saw all of the bouquets and gasped, "Oh, wow, Lily this is so beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as the real Lily," Will said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

Lily smiled and poked his cheek. "That was cheesy."

Will laughed and kissed her again. "I'm okay with that." He pulled away. "Listen, I'm going to run up to my dorm real quick, but I'll be right back and we can head down to breakfast."

He ran up the stairs and Lily turned to Mary, her eyes wide.

Mary looked at her, confusion spread on her face, "What's wrong? I thought you loved romance!"

"I do!" She sighed. "I do, just not this, um, public," she explained, lamely.

"I think it's sweet!" Mary exclaimed, stroking the petals of one of the flowers.

"It is sweet, I just wish it wasn't on display for all of the house to see." Several fourth years walked by, snickering. Lily watched them pass. "See? I'm a joke." She immediately quieted when she heard footsteps coming from the boy's staircase. It was just the Marauders though.

Sirius whistled. "Damn Lily, did Will clear out every florist in the country?"

Lily's face turned red. "Don't, please. I'm already mortified."

Sirius laughed, "Sorry that someone loves you, Lily." He squeezed her shoulder on his way past, and the rest nodded at her. James deliberately did not make eye contact, which made Lily feel even more embarrassed.

Will came down at that moment, and they headed down to the Great Hall together.

Lily rolled her eyes at the display. There was pink everywhere, and there was heart shaped confetti all over the table. That was another thing she didn't like about Valentine's Day. The red and pink clashed horribly with her hair.

They sat down and Lily started to serve herself some toast, but Will slammed a box down on the table, making her jump.

He laughed, "Sorry, I'm just excited." Lily eyed the box suspiciously. "It's not going to explode confetti or anything, don't worry."

Lily nodded and delicately undid the giant pink bow and pulled the paper off. Inside there was a framed picture of them at Slughorn's party. It was a wizard photograph, so it moved back and forth. Will from the picture waved up at her, then returned to his place.

Will had his arm around her waist, and was kissing her head. Lily had her eyes closed and was laughing. It was a cute picture. Lily had forgotten they had even taken it. Some third year was going around taking pictures of everyone at the party.

"I had to track down that third year and have him go through all of the pictures to get it. Do you like it?" Will asked, beaming down at her. She smiled at how sweet he was, and she really did like the picture.

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I just completely forgot this was even coming up."

Will's face flashed disappointment, but it was gone as soon as it came. Lily saw it, though. "That's okay, you're my present." He kissed her forehead.

"You're just full of cheesy lines today, huh?" He nodded and kissed her again.

Down the table James watched them out of the corner of his eye. He had been panicking. He turned back to his friends. "Should I have gotten Lydia flowers? Or a gift or something? I didn't think I had to, I thought gifts were just for their birthdays. What do I do?"

Peter laughed. "Prongs calm down. It's your first date, I'm sure she's not expecting anything."

James put his head in his hands. "Why did I do this? Do I have to take her Madam Puddifoot's?"

Sirius shook his head. "Just take her to Honeydukes and buy her some chocolate then walk around or something."

"It's freezing!"

"Then go to The Three Broomsticks, I don't know," Sirius shrugged.

"Padfoot, you're supposed to be the one good with girls! Tell me what to do," James pleaded.

Remus snorted. James looked at him and Remus looked up, "Sorry, I uh, got some pepper in my nose." It took him a moment, but he realized why his comment was funny. He tucked his head and tried not to laugh.

Lily looked around at the display, noticing the fat little cherubs floating around.

"Will, let's not go to Hogsmeade."

He stopped chewing. "What?"

"Let's not go to Hogsmeade," she pleaded, "It's just going to be full of gross couples and I don't want to have to fight to get a drink at The Three Broomsticks and deal with everyone buying chocolate at Honeydukes. Let's just hang out in the common room or something. Please."

Will nodded slowly, then shrugged. "Yeah okay. I guess that makes sense."

Lily sighed in relief. There was another reason why she didn't want to go, but she wasn't going to tell Will about it.

Breakfast finished and everyone started out the doors into the cold February air, but Will and Lily started up towards the tower.

Sirius called out after them, "Lily, are you guys not going?"

She shook her head. "No, we're skipping the festivities today."

"Ah damn, that's smart, we should have done that."

"Nah, go find a date or something. I'm sure it won't be hard." She looked pointedly at Remus and winked.

Sirius rolled his eyes and waved them goodbye. She saw Peter walking out, hand in hand with his date and smiled. She then saw James doing the same with Lydia and her face fell slightly. She turned back to Will and started climbing the stairs.

They entered the common room, and Lily saw all of the lilies still sitting in the same place. She groaned internally. She was hoping they might have vanished by now.

Will sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him.

Lily stopped. "I'm just going to go grab my Transfiguration book, okay? I want to look over the theory for this quiz we have."

Will frowned. "Well, okay. But you aren't going to study the whole time are you?"

"No I just, it gives us something to do. You can go grab your books and we can just read on the couch today. Have a nice, quiet day." She turned and headed up the stairs. She grabbed her Transfiguration book and her Charms book too. She hadn't looked at this chapter at all so far.

She went back downstairs, and Will was reading his Potions book. He looked up. "You know you'll have to help me with Potions sometime. I think I might fail my N.E.W.T."

Lily laughed. "I'm sure you're fine. Besides it's easy. You just have to listen to the potion."

He looked taken aback. "Listen? To a potion?"

Lily nodded. "It tells you what it needs."

Will scoffed. "I think you're just crazy."

Lily scrunched her face at that and opened her book. She was stretched out on the couch with her bare feet on Will's lap, and he was sitting up, flipping through his book. She read through the chapter, intently studying the theory. She always had trouble with Transfiguration, which irked her. James never had to try at Transfiguration. She was better than him in every other subject, but she wanted to be the absolute best in everything. She had always wanted to be superior to James in school, maturity, friendships, everything, but lately, she found herself not wanting that. She still wanted to be the best, but her motivation instead was drawn from her own desire to succeed rather than a desire to succeed over James.

She also really liked whenever she did well in class and James would grin at her and give her a thumbs up. She always felt a swell of pride at that, knowing that she could impress someone who had been around powerful wizards his entire life.

She shook her head, realizing she had read an entire page of text without actually absorbing any of the information. She looked up at Will. He was absentmindedly tracing his hand over her calves as he read. She giggled and kicked her leg. He looked at her. "What?"

She shook her head. "That tickles."

He did it again and she giggled and kicked. "Are you ticklish?" She shook her head violently. "Are you sure?" She nodded, but she knew what was coming next.

He pounced on her and started tickling her sides while she thrashed under him. She screamed.

"Stop! Will, stop! Please!"

He laughed and kept tickling. She kept trying to push him off and he finally stopped. He was above her, looking down. He lowered his mouth onto hers and she felt his weight settle on to her.

She kissed him back, and his hand grabbed her waist. His other hand slipped under the hem of her sweater, sliding up her waist to grab her breast. He moved his mouth from hers and kissed down her neck. He pushed the fabric of her shirt up and kissed a trail down to the waistband of her jeans. His hands started undoing the button before she grabbed them.

"What are you doing?"

He laughed, "Well uh, trying to get your jeans off." He tried to move his hands back down but she held tight.

"Don't do that." Will gave her the confused look again. She hated that look now. "We can, you know, snog and whatnot, but not that."

"Are you afraid someone will come in? We can go up to my dorm, everyone is gone." Will made to stand up, but Lily stopped him.

"No, it's not that, I just don't want to do that," she said, looking away.

He sat back down. "Why not?"

Lily scoffed at that, thinking it was a joke. She saw his face though and realized he was serious. "Well I just don't want to do that just yet. I've told you this before."

"We've been dating for almost four months now, though."

"We've _only_ been dating for four months," Lily corrected.

"Yeah!" Will looked at her. "I think that's a long enough time to be fooling around, Lily."

"Well maybe you think that, but I don't!" She sat up. "I'm sorry, but I wish you would understand that I'm just not ready for that."

"Lily, it's not even serious, it's just fooling around. It's not like this is going anywhere, it doesn't have to be a big deal," he said throwing his hands up.

"What?"

He looked back at her, realizing his mistake. "No, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I just meant who knows if we'll be dating after the end of the term, and I just meant this doesn't have to mean anything."

Lily narrowed her eyes, "Well I'm sorry I didn't realize I was just a fling to have your last year, Will." She spat his name. "But it's a big deal to me."

He put his head in his hands. "Lily, I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't thinking. I understand your first time is a big deal, I just thought that maybe we were at that point, but I see we're not now. I'll stop. I'm sorry."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, and she tensed. This seemed to be a pattern with him. "Listen, let's just go back to reading and forget this happened, I'm sorry." He sat back and picked up his book. Lily continued to glare at him for a few more moments, but she returned to her book as well. Her body was still tense.

They sat in silence and Will kept looking outside instead of reading. She assumed he probably wished he was out with his friends now. She supposed it was partially her fault, since she led them to an empty common room that they knew would be empty for hours. Maybe she was being a prude. Four months is a long time; maybe she should be doing those things with him.

She wasn't sure why, but every time he touched her she felt guilty, like it was some kind of taboo. She felt like she was betraying someone, but she wasn't sure who. Maybe it was herself, since she knew she wanted to wait until she was serious about the person.

Which, she thought, is not Will. That comment stung, and she was upset that he thought so little of their relationship that he assumed it would end as soon as term was over.

Now she really didn't want to fool around with him if he thought he was just going to dump her once he was done with school. She wasn't surprised. She was sure that he wasn't thinking of marrying her or anything, but she was hoping their relationship didn't have a set expiration date before it even began.

She shook her head to try to clear it of these thoughts and noticed some of their fellow students climbing through the portrait hole. Some had confetti in their hair, which she assumed were the ones that went to Madam Puddifoot's. She kept looking at the door, hoping that Sirius or Peter or Remus or James would come back and break the tension that was palpable between her and Will right now.

Neither came for a while, so she was stuck on the couch, pointedly not making eye contact with Will. Luckily Marlene came in and she waved her over.

Will stood up uncomfortably. "See you later." Lily waved and he frowned.

Marlene gave her a look. "Are you two good?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, just tired. How was Hogsmeade?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Just like you said it would be. Couples snogging everywhere, all the shops jam packed with hearts and cherubs. I wish we stayed back here with you and actually got some work done."

"Yeah I figured it would be a mess. Where's Mary?" Lily asked.

"Well Sirius all but ignored her, so she ended up finding some seventh year Hufflepuff to snog in Madam Puddifoot's."

Lily laughed, "Good for her. She's too good for Sirius anyways."

"Does he have some secret girlfriend in London or something? I haven't heard him even mention a girl's name since early in fifth year." Marlene asked.

"He might. Maybe he has an older lady and he's done with us silly Hogwarts girls," Lily mused, laughing about how far that was from the truth.

Marlene sighed, "I should do that too."

"Get an older lady in London?" Lily laughed at her own joke.

Marlene shrugged. "It might be nice to date a girl, you'd probably get along better," she laughed, "And you could share clothes."

Lily sat up and looked at her, "What are you saying?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know, maybe I'm just not really attracted to boys. Or maybe all of the boys here have just lost their appeal. I think I just might like to try dating a girl or something. I don't know. Maybe it's just a phase."

Lily was surprised. Three whole gay people in Hogwarts? Then she chuckled to herself. They weren't unicorns, she supposed. They only seemed rare because people weren't going to explain their sexuality in great detail to a random stranger.

"Well that's, that's just fine." Lily had flashbacks to the Christmas party. Why was she so bad at this? "I just mean, you don't have to figure anything out right now, you can shop around, try some new things."

"That sounds like I'm buying a new couch, Lils."

Lily winced. "Yeah I know, I'm bad at this, I'm sorry. Just know that I support you. I won't tell anyone unless you do." Marlene nodded and leaned over to hug her.

"Are you sure you and Will are okay? It seemed frosty back there," Marlene said. Lily could tell she was deliberately changing the subject. She decided to go with it, hoping to make Marlene more comfortable.

She hesitated. "I don't know." Marlene looked at her. "He just, he doesn't seem to understand my feelings, and it feels like he never listens to me."

"Really?" Marlene asked. Lily could tell she wanted her to tell her more.

"Yeah. He ignores my requests about-" she paused, feeling awkward, "Being intimate," she shuddered, embarrassed to even say it aloud. "And he doesn't actually pay attention to my input or suggestions on other things."

"That sounds annoying," Marlene commented.

Lily nodded. "I just want to date someone that trusts me and values my opinion on things, you know?"

At that moment James opened the portrait hole and saw the pair sitting on the couch. He walked over, leaning on the couch for a second. "Hey Lily, would you mind looking over my Potions essay? I don't know if some of the stuff I said was accurate."

She nodded and he grinned at her. "Thanks, you know I trust your input on these things." He turned and ran up his staircase, shutting the door behind him.

Marlene turned to Lily. "Want to go get dinner?" Lily nodded and they headed down to eat.

Lily and Marlene were coming up from dinner, and the common room was deserted. Lily thought that everyone must have still been down at dinner, or they all went to find a place to snog.

Marlene started up the staircase, but Lily hung back. "I'll be up in a bit, I have to deal with these somehow." Lily gestured to the dozen bouquets of lilies that were still placed neatly at the bottom of the steps. Marlene laughed and waved her goodbye.

Lily sighed and sat on the floor in front of them, wondering what she could do with them. She conjured a vase and stood up to set it on a table. She placed one of the bouquets in it and filled it with water. She realized she could decorate the common room with them, then everyone could enjoy them. She conjured a few more vases and looked around for places to put them.

She jumped when she heard the portrait hole open, still holding a vase in one hand and bouquet in the other.

James stepped in and stopped when he saw her. He ruffled his hair. "Hey."

"Hey."

He nodded towards the vase in her hand. "Redecorating?"

She nodded and moved to set this one down on a table in the corner. "They won't all fit in my dorm room, so I figured I could just..." She gestured to the room around her vaguely.

"You don't even like lilies," James said quietly.

Lily was shocked. He was right; she didn't like lilies. "What?"

He ruffled his hair again. "Nothing. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "How do you know I don't like lilies?"

James shrugged. "I don't remember. I just know you don't like them. You like sunflowers." She stared at him. "Anyways. I hope you had a good day. I'm gonna…" He pointed at his dorm and headed up the stairs. She watched him ascend the stairs slowly.

"James?" Lily called out after him. He stopped and turned around. She didn't actually know what she was going to say. "Um, I hope you had a good day too."

"Thanks, Lils. See you later." He turned and went into his dorm. Her heart was fluttering and she didn't know why.


	15. List of Quirks

James was laying on his bed, playing with his Snitch. He had stupidly blurted out that Lily didn't like lilies, and now she probably thought he was a creep. Back in fourth year he conjured a bouquet lilies to dramatically present to her in the library, and she had yelled she didn't even like them.

She didn't like them because they seemed too fancy, and reminded her of places her sister liked to go, where you weren't allowed to use the napkins and you had to keep your elbows off of the table. He laughed at her reasoning, which seemed silly, but also made perfect sense to him.

Later in fifth year, he noticed how often she conjured flowers in her palm and played with them, making them open and close. Primarily he was just shocked by the level of skill it took to conjure a full flower wandless and non-verbally, but then he started noticing the flower types.

It was always daisies and sunflowers, and he assumed they reminded her of summer, which was her favorite season. He rubbed his face. He was a creep. What kind of weirdo knew this much about a girl he wasn't even dating.

It gave him a sense of pride, though, that he knew Lily better than her boyfriend.

He shook that thought out of his head. He was trying desperately to get over Lily. He had tried extra hard today, and snogged Lydia in a broom closet after they drank in The Three Broomsticks. He smiled to himself at the memory.

They had been walking back to the tower and she grabbed his collar and pulled him into a closet. She pulled on his tie and started kissing him, sliding her tongue into his mouth. He was in shock at first, but quickly recovered. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed his lips against hers. She flicked her tongue over his bottom lip, wetting it. He leaned forward, pressing her back against the wall and his body into hers.

He grabbed her hips and traced his thumbs over where the bone started to descend below the waistband of her skirt. She whimpered and he smiled against her mouth. He bit her bottom lip slightly, then started kissing her neck. He could feel her rapid pulse against his lips as he moved closer to her collarbone.

"James," she whispered.

"Hmm?" He hummed against her skin. He looked up at her and she pulled his mouth back to hers. He parted her lips with his tongue and slid it over hers. He could taste the sweet flavor of the butterbeer they had just finished.

She pressed her chest into him and he could feel the curve of her breasts against his chest. He moved one of his hands from her hips and cupped her breast, sliding his thumb over her hard nipple just barely peeking out under the fabric of her shirt.

She whimpered and reached for his tie, pulling on it to untie it. He stopped and shook his head. "Not right now." She stepped back and furrowed her brow at him. He smiled awkwardly at her, and kissed her forehead. "We don't have to go so fast, Lydia."

She looked confused, but nodded, and they slipped out of the closet, smoothing out their clothing. He slipped his hand into hers and they started ascending the staircases to their towers.

They arrived at Gryffindor tower and James stopped, turning to give the password.

"James?" Lydia asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"I uh, I had a nice time with you," she said, smiling.

He nodded, "Yeah, me too." He gave the password and stepped inside the common room, leaving her out in the corridor.

James shook his head, returning to the present moment. He had no idea why, but he felt like he was cheating on Lily. He knew he would never be with her, but he had chased her for so long that doing anything with any other girl made him feel guilty.

He sighed. He was being ridiculous. This whole situation was ridiculous. How did he fall so hard for the only girl in Hogwarts that would never date him?

 _Because she's perfect, smart, funny, and already one of your best friends_ , the hopeful voice in his head said. He imagined what it would be like to date Lily. She would integrate so seamlessly into his life. They would be perfect. He imagined them just hanging out with their friends like they normally do, but she was sitting on his lap, playing with his hair, laughing at his jokes.

James stood up and hit one of the posters of his bed. He was a stupid, ridiculous, love-stricken teenager that needed to calm the fuck down.

The next morning Lily was relieved to find that the Great Hall had returned to normal and the student body had calmed down once again. She didn't sleep again last night, and felt like she might pass out at any given moment. She sat down and laid her head against the table, closing her eyes. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all sat down beside her, and Remus rubbed her back. "Rough night?"

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I just haven't been sleeping well." She looked around, "Where's James?"

Sirius nodded towards Ravenclaw's table, and she saw him sitting with Lydia, talking with some of the Quidditch players. Anna was over there too, as she usually sat with her boyfriend.

Lily frowned. "Yeah, that's a, a thing now?" That was another thing pissing her off. She wasn't even sure why. She and James were friends though, and she didn't think he should be dating some random Ravenclaw girl out of nowhere. Wasn't she supposed to have a crush on Remus anyways?

Sirius looked at Remus and Peter looked at the ceiling. "You know I never noticed just how tall this ceiling is?" He said, desperately trying to change the conversation.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's uh, it's real high."

Lily rolled her eyes, "I don't care guys, it was just a question." Remus and Sirius shared a knowing look. "Hey! No silent conversations when I'm right here. I really don't care. I'm happy for him, and not jealous at all."

Peter laughed. "No one said you were jealous, Lils."

Lily huffed. "Well good. 'Cause I'm not."

Will sat down next to her and pecked her on the cheek. "Who are you jealous of?"

They all looked at each other, sharing their thoughts via silent looks. Lily spoke up, "Rebecca from Hufflepuff. She just got a new set of potion scales." Sirius looked at her, and she made a "I don't know" face back at him.

Will frowned. "I'll leave so you guys can continue your conversation without me."

Lily was about to protest, but he had already stood up and went to the other end of the table to join his roommates. He sat down and looked at her one last time before turning to talk to the other seventh year boys. She rolled her eyes. "Fucking Merlin, I can't catch a break."

Remus laughed at that and patted her on the back. "Trouble in paradise?"

She laid her head back on the table. "You have no idea," she whined. She felt whiny. And tired. And pissed off. It seemed everything she did with Will was wrong, everyone was now saying that James had tossed her over for Lydia, and her best friend was a Death Eater. Ex-best friend, she corrected. She was constantly the target of slurs and rude comments. She was constantly stressed and jumpy, afraid that someone might hex her at any moment. Life sucked.

She sat back up, realizing that she needed to calm down. Snape had gone down his path; there was nothing she could do to change that. Everyone spreading rumors about her were stupid and juvenile. They would all find something else to talk about soon enough. And the slurs and hexes were nothing she couldn't handle. She took a deep breath, though it didn't do much. She looked over at Remus and Sirius and said, "Let's go to Potions."

They nodded and left the Great Hall. They walked down to the dungeons in silence, as they were all tired and Lily assumed that Sirius and Remus were also deep in thought.

They went into the dungeon and Slughorn smiled up at her. She sat down on her stool and pulled out her book, flipping through the pages.

James slipped in right as Slughorn started talking. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Nice of you to show up." There was more bitterness in her voice than she intended. He look bewildered. She looked at him again. "No I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." She sighed. "I'm just tired and stressed, I didn't mean to take it out on you," she whispered. James nodded slowly, still looking at her.

Slughorn finished talking and started walking around. James pulled out his cauldron while Lily turned to the right page.

She sighed again, staring at the long list of steps. It was two and a half pages long, each step more intensive and difficult than the last. She did not want to do it. "James, will you take the lead on this one today? I'm sorry, I'm just really not in the mood to do this today."

He nodded, though he looked at her, confusion evident in his face. "Are you okay? You look horrible."

"I'd be a lot better if people stop insulting my appearance," she retorted. James threw his hands up in defense. The next person that told her how awful she looked was going to get turned into a frog.

She pulled out a knife and started chopping the ingredients, sliding them over to him when she was done. She placed them in a neat line in the order that he would need them. Hopefully he wouldn't mess it up. They brewed in silence, and the fumes were giving her a headache. She put her chin into her hand and her eyelids started drooping. She kept dozing, every time nodding back awake. She tried to fight it, but eventually she turned to place her cheek in her palm and she leaned against the table, dozing lightly.

James watched her discreetly. He knew it must be bad if she didn't want to work on a new potion. He was worried about her, but he was afraid to ask what was wrong.

He stirred the potion delicately, afraid to mess something up. He assumed that Lily would stop him if he was about to do something wrong, but he noticed she was dozing, supporting her head with her hand.

 _She gets cranky when she's tired_ , he noted. He added it to the long mental list of her quirks he had kept since third year. He frowned. He probably shouldn't be thinking things like that since he was with Lydia now. Though there's nothing wrong with knowing your friends well, he reasoned. He pretended like that was the reason in order to not think about why he had obsessed over any minute detail of Lily's life for the past two years.

Slughorn was nearing, so he reached over and jostled her so she wouldn't be caught sleeping in class. She blinked sleepily and then sat up, looking into the cauldron.

"It looks good," she said out of the corner of her mouth. He smiled, proud of himself. If she thought it looked good, it must be pretty damn near perfect. Slughorn walked by and nodded approvingly. Lily sighed with relief and then put her head back in her hands.

James leaned over. "Are you okay?"

Lily shook her head and looked at him with tired eyes. "My life is just falling apart is all."

"Oh." He didn't know how to respond to that. "Well um, if you want any help, let me know."

"I don't suppose you can charm Will into a pygmy puff?" She mumbled into her hands.

James smiled discreetly. "No, I don't think I could do that. Sorry." She nodded and he returned to the potion, Lily to her nap. So she was having trouble with Will. He couldn't help but get a little excited at that. _No_ , he told himself, _don't get excited about that_. You're just friends. He looked over at her and saw her hair flutter every time she breathed out.

Just friends.

He looked over at Sirius and Remus to see what their potion looked like. They were standing over it, faces pressed against each other. Sirius saw him looking and point at Lily.

James looked at her then back at Sirius. He shrugged. Sirius frowned.

"Should I do something?" James whispered.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, take her to the hospital wing?" He suggested, peeking back at her.

"She's tired James, not dying," Remus said, exasperated

"I don't know what to do."

"Just let her sleep I guess, I don't know," Sirius suggested.

James finished stirring the potion, then rustled through Lily's bag to find a vial to put their potion in. He found one at the bottom, then carefully ladled the liquid into it and corked it. He walked to the front of the room and placed it neatly on Slughorn's desk. It was a lighter shade of lavender than everyone else's, which made him worry, but then he saw Snape's potion was the same color. James smiled to himself. If his was similar to Snape's, the best in the class after Lily, then he did a pretty good job. Slughorn collected their vials of their potion and dismissed them. James picked up Lily's bag and shook her shoulder.

She nodded and got up, almost falling over. He steadied her and walked behind her. She stopped. "Wait, James, my bag."

He held it up. "I got it." She reached for it, but he held it back out of reach. She rolled her eyes and they all walked to their Defense class together.

They reached the room and Lily settled into one of the desks. She prayed to Merlin and whoever else that they were just going over theory today so she could sleep. James would take notes for her if she asked.

Professor Pierce told them to split into pairs, causing Lily to groan and stand up. James steered her over to the corner. Mary, Lily's regular partner, gave her a bewildered look, and Lily shrugged. James made sure their Professor wasn't listening and said in a low tone, "You're exhausted, I'll go easy on you and we can just get our marks for the day."

She laughed and nodded, practicing casting a silent Disarming spell. The wand flew out of James' hand and she tossed it back to him. He did the same to her. They were technically supposed to be shielding themselves, but Lily was too tired to concentrate on that.

They went back and forth, James occasionally attempting a Shielding spell whenever Pierce walked by. She nodded approvingly at the pair of them and Lily sighed in relief. She didn't need full marks on today, as she had gotten full marks every other day, but it was still nice. She trudged through the rest of class and they left after she dismissed them. James again carried her bag, despite her protesting.

They made it back to the tower and he helped her through the portrait hole. She took her bag back. "Thanks, James. Sorry I was crabby."

"That's okay. Go take a nap and try again." He patted her back and she left to go up the stairs. She turned to head of the stairs but then stopped and whipped around. James stepped back, afraid she might hex him. It was a reflex at this point.

"I forgot." Her eyes were wide.

"Forgot what?" James was bewildered. She looked insane.

"Wait here," she ordered, then she ran up the stairs to her dorm.

James did as he was told, and waited for a few moments until Lily ran back down. She handed him a photograph of the Holyhead Harpies captain diving for the Quaffle. "I completely forgot to give this to you. I met the captain of the Holyhead Harpies at Slughorn's party and got her to autograph a photo for you."

James smiled and hugged her. "Thanks, Lils, that's really sweet." He let her go and she beamed up at him. He looked at the picture. On the back in smooth cursive it said,

 _James,_

 _I'm glad you're a fan. Your girlfriend says you're an excellent Quidditch captain. Maybe one day you'll go pro!_

 _Best wishes._

There was a large and fluid signature at the bottom. He was elated. James looked up at Lily. She was smiling at him. "Lils, did you read this?"

She shook her head. "No, why? Did she spell your name wrong?" She reached out for it, but James held it back and ruffled his hair.

"It's perfect, thank you." He hugged her again, and she turned to go back to her dorm. She smiled back at him and he grinned at her. He watched her trot up the stairs, then looked back down at the photo, smiling.

James turned towards his staircase and saw Will standing at the bottom. "Hey Price, didn't see you there." He glared at him, and James gave him a confused look. Everyone was just on edge today, apparently.

He went up to his dorm and grabbed his broom and new gloves. He had scheduled a Quidditch practice for this afternoon. He and Sirius walked out to the pitch together, brooms in tow.

"Nice weather," James commented.

"Yeah. Good breeze," Sirius said back. They nodded at each other and went into the locker room. James pulled out his Quidditch robes and slipped them on. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and grinned. He was hot as hell in these robes. No wonder Gryffindor always had the highest student turn out, he mused.

He and Sirius stepped onto the field, waiting for everyone else to arrive. James unlocked the shed and grabbed the box of supplies, carrying it back to the center of the field.

He unlatched it, grabbing the quaffle and throwing it to Sirius.

"You aren't playing Beater today. I told Thomas he could take the afternoon off since we won't be using him," James explained.

"Well why don't I get the afternoon off?" Sirius whined.

"Because you're a better Chaser." James winked and laughed at Sirius' scowl.

Soon everyone trudged onto the field and mounted their brooms. He wanted to work on the defense mainly. As long as they were ten points higher than Slytherin, they'd win the House Cup. And James would be damned if they didn't win the House Cup.

He directed Will to the goal posts and called Marlene and Toby over. "We're going to first work on scoring against Will, and then we're going split off and we'll see how good you both are and keeping the Quaffle away from our side of the field, okay?" They both nodded.

He turned to Hannah, who was smiling up at him. "I'm just going to let the Snitch loose. Chase it around, and if you catch it, close your eyes and throw it again." She nodded and saluted, and James laughed.

The five of them mounted their brooms and kicked off, rising above the stands. They floated in the middle for a second, making sure everyone was in position, then he called it and began.

He threw the Quaffle up and Toby caught it. He sped towards the goal and easily threw it into the side hoop. James swore and summoned it back to his hand. He flew over to the goal post with it under his arm. He shouted over the distance "Are you ready Price? I don't know if you heard me say-"

Will cut him off. "Yeah I'm ready! Just throw the fucking Quaffle, alright?"

James stared at him. "You good?"

"Yeah. Whatever."

What was going on with everyone today? He shook his head and flew back around, tossing the quaffle to Marlene. She flew up, tossed it Toby, who tossed it to James, then back to Marlene, who swooped in from above and slipped past Will to the center hoop.

He shook his head, pulled out his wand, and summoned the Quaffle back again. "Again!" He shouted. He pulled back this time and let Toby and Marlene run a play. He sat back for a second and flexed his gloves. They had saved his fingers in all of these practices over the past few months, especially during January and February. He still made them practice in the snow, which no one was happy about.

He heard swearing and saw that Marlene had scored another goal against their keeper. He shook his head again and flew down to the post. He slid up to where Will was floating.

"Hey mate, do you want to take a break? Clear your head? We can run some defense drills." Will glared at him. "Look, I don't know what's going on but-"

"Oh you don't, do you?" He sneered at him.

"Hey, I'm not involved in whatever problems you're having today, Price. Get your shit together and block the goddamn Quaffle for once, okay?" James rolled his eyes and flew off. "Again." He ordered. This time he caught the Quaffle and flew directly towards the goal. He feigned going left, but at the last second threw it right and scored.

He summoned it back again and tossed it to Marlene. "Let's just run some defense." He turned his broom around. "Price, go run some laps."

"I told you, Potter, I'm fine."

"That wasn't a suggestion," James retorted. He was probably going to regret saying that, but if Will was going to be a prat then he was going to be a prat right back.

Will cursed under his breath and descended to the ground. He leaned his broom up against the fence and James could see his figure start running around the pitch. Stupid git.

"What's happening there?" Marlene asked, indicating Will running around under them.

"I think Lily pissed him off, but either way he's being a prick." Marlene nodded. "Alright, Sirius and I are going to try to score on you. Your goal is to make sure we can't even though you don't have a Keeper. Got it?" He saw Hannah flying off to the left. "And Hannah?" She waved. "Just keep, um, keep chasing the Snitch, alright?" She nodded excitedly and zoomed off.

Sirius and James flew to the other side of the field. James tossed the Quaffle to Sirius and they flew towards to goal posts at the other end. Sirius tossed it back to James, and looped around. James zoomed toward the goal post, but Marlene flew in front of him, causing him to serve so he didn't crash into her. He looked back and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled and nodded.

He looped up above them and tried to throw the Quaffle to Sirius. Out of nowhere Toby flew in and snatched it before it could reach Sirius hand. He sprinted to the other side of the field and easily scored, as there was no keeper.

James flew over and summoned the Quaffle back. "Excellent, Toby. Excellent."

They ran several more plays like that, with James and Sirius only scoring two goals overall. He flew back down to the ground and indicated the rest to follow them.

Hannah came down with the Snitch in her hand and James patted her on the back and took it from her. He waved at Will to indicate that he could stop running and come back.

James turned to face them all. "Alright everyone really great work today. We're going to have one more practice before the Slytherin game this weekend, but I think we're going to be able to take them easily. You all can go."

They all trudged towards the locker rooms. James called out after them. "Hey, Price, can you hang back for a second?" Will turned back and glared at him, but came back. James spoke up, "Alright mate, I don't know what's going on with you right now, but you can't bring it onto the pitch, okay? I understand it's hard, but we need to have a cohesive team to win this match, alright?"

He took off his gloves and set the Quaffle inside its holder within the trunk. He played with the Snitch a bit, turning back to Will. He set his gloves down and let the Snitch fly between his hands, catching it right before it slipped through his fingers. He smiled at Will, who glared back.

"Where'd you get those gloves, Potter?" He asked, indicating the pair next to James' shoes.

James blinked, he was not that expecting that. "What?" He grabbed the Snitch with his left hand and held it, though it wiggled within his grasp.

"Where'd you get those gloves?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Lily got them for me as a Christmas present." James shook his head, "It doesn't matter, okay? Next practice I expect you to work well with the team and really focus." He clapped him on the back, but Will shoved his hand off.

"Stay away from Lily." With that he turned on his heel and left, jogging off the pitch.

James stood, frozen, unsure of what just happened. He shook his head and jogged back to the locker room. He quietly slipped in, hoping no one would notice him. He was not in the mood to talk right now.

He quietly opened his locker and pulled out the t-shirt and jeans he was wearing before practice. He decided it was best to wait until he got back to the castle to shower off.

He heard the low whisper of Toby float across the room, "Are you okay? You seem off today."

Will spoke up, "I'm fine."

"Is it Lily? It seems like you guys are having some trouble," Toby said, awkwardly. James could just imagine him looking at his shoes, like he always did.

A locker door slammed. "It's fine." Will sighed. "She's just holding out on me. It'll be fine though. Probably won't be much longer, if you know what I'm saying." There was silence, and James figured Toby did not know what he was saying. "See you next practice."

James heard the sound of footsteps retreating and he ducked behind his locker door so Will wouldn't know that he was eavesdropping. James frowned. He didn't like hearing him talk about Lily like that. He brushed it off and headed back to the castle. He smiled though. It was nice to know that Will hadn't gotten into Lily's knickers.


	16. How The Mighty Fall, Literally

James bolted awake on Saturday morning and immediately jumped out of bed. It was the day of the Slytherin game.

He got dressed quickly and jogged out to the pitch to begin his pre-game ritual. He grabbed his broom and flew up to the goal posts. His mind was racing at a million miles an hour. They only had to beat Slytherin by ten points to win the Cup. It was practically a give away.

Ten points. He could do ten points. Ten points was easy. Ten points was nothing. His team was excellent, they had practiced hard, ten points was nothing.

His heart beat against his chest as he did his pushups. He stopped, glistening with sweat. He sat for a moment, looking at the sky. It was a clear day. Cold, but clear skies. Hopefully they would stay that way.

He jogged back up to castle to grab breakfast. He saw Lydia and leaned down to kiss her. She laughed and pushed him away, "James you're sweaty! Don't touch me!" He grabbed her around the waist and snuggled his face into her neck, despite her laughing protests. He grabbed toast and a sausage off of her plate and headed back down to the pitch.

"Good luck!" She called after him. He turned around and winked at her. Her friends giggled and James smiled at them.

By the time he got to the pitch, many of the students had already taken their seats. He went into the locker room and found his team changing and gearing up. He cleared his throat and spoke up, "Alright everyone, as you all know we just have to beat Slytherin by ten points to win. It'll be easy I promise." He turned to Hannah, "Before you catch the Snitch make sure we're up by ten points okay? I don't want to risk anything." She nodded eagerly and he smiled at her. "Let's get out there."

They all walked out into the sun. "Potter, Mulciber, please step forward." They stepped out onto the middle of the pitch. "Shake hands."

James extended his hand, but Mulciber refused to take it. James nodded and turned away to mount his broom. They kicked off and rose above the stands. The Quaffle was thrown and James immediately caught it. He scored easily, as the keeper was barely in position. He smiled and flew back to his side. They were already ten points up. It was going to be an easy match.

Two hours passed. It was not an easy match. Everyone in the stands was tired, and some had already left. The Slytherin team had called a time out, and James was floating in place, looking around. He saw Lily's read hair and waved at her. She waved excitedly back and held up a homemade sign that said, "Go Gryffindor!" He laughed and gave her a thumbs up.

He looked at the scoreboard, frowning. It was 200 to 230, in favor of Gryffindor. James swore and flew around to meet Marlene.

"What is going on? This was supposed to be an easy match."

Marlene shook her head. "I don't know James. They're good. And Will is not on his game today."

James narrowed his eyes and looked over at their Keeper. He was watching the stands, floating in front of the middle hoop. He had let in so many goals that anyone could have blocked. He could have slapped Peter on a broom and he probably would done a better job. The only way they were up by thirty was that they were able to keep the Quaffle away from their side most of the time. But Marlene was right, the Slytherin team is good this year. James frowned and turned back around.

Slytherin and had finished their time out and flew back up to meet the Gryffindor team in the air. The Quaffle was thrown and James almost caught it; intercepted at the last second by their other chaser. He sneered at James, his blond hair catching the sunlight.

He zipped around James and easily flew past Marlene, despite her attempt to block him. He threw the Quaffle and it slid just past Will into the middle hoop, giving them twenty points. James swore. 220-230. Too close for his liking.

This time James caught the Quaffle, threw it to Toby, and Toby sped towards the goals, tossing it towards the furthest left one. The Slytherin Keeper barely blocked it, hitting it with the toe of his boot at the last second.

Toby yelled an apology at James and he waved him off.

They continued for another half hour. Most of the stands were cleared out, as everyone had gotten bored and left. It was 240-250, still in favor of Gryffindor.

James saw Hannah dive after a glinting gold light and he watched her for a second before turning back to the game. Malfoy was headed to their goal, and James flew towards to block him. Marlene and Toby were on the other side of the pitch, but they both raced after James. He had almost caught up to him, but suddenly was knocked off his broom by a Bludger slamming into his arm.

It was like he saw it in slow motion. He was falling. Right as Hannah's hand reached out to grab the snitch, Malfoy's shot flew into the middle goal. He made contact with the ground and it all went black.

He woke up in the hospital wing. He bolted up, but Madam Pomfrey held him down. Searing pain exploded from his back and chest, and his vision blurred for a second. He gasped and wheezed for a minute before he could speak.

"What happened with the match?" he asked, looking up at Madam Pomfrey, still holding his arms down. She let go and started with messing with something on his bedside table.

"Well now dear just get some rest, you have several broken bones. You could have died if Miss Evans didn't think fast and slow your fall." She indicated a figure seated the right side of his bed.

He looked up to see Lily sitting, legs crossed and twirling her hair nervously. "What happened?" He asked her abruptly. She looked away, not making eye contact. "Lily, what happened?" He repeated, the urgency and fear evident in his voice. He knew her silence couldn't mean anything good.

She mumbled something he couldn't hear.

"What?" he grabbed her hand, and she looked back at him "Hannah caught the Snitch though, right? It doesn't matter it Malfoy's goal went in, we still had the Snitch."

Lily slowly shook her head. "No, James, when you fell Hannah turned back, and their Seeker came out of nowhere and caught the Snitch. You guys, you guys lost."

James sat up violently, searing pain returning to his chest. He clutched his side and fell back onto his pillows until the pain subsided. He choked out a "What?"

"I'm sorry James, but it's not your fault, and there's next year," she offered.

"I've never lost a game before," he said stupidly. His heart sank and a pit grew in his stomach. He looked up at the ceiling and blinked, feeling like a ton of bricks settled onto his weary shoulders.

"I know, I know. It's okay though, no one blames you. That Bludger should have been a foul, but Avery said he wasn't aiming for you, the bludger just changed direction," she squeezed his hand, "Gryffindor was furious, everyone was yelling, it was a mess. It took a half hour to get you off the field just because there was so commotion."

James looked away and saw Sirius, Remus, and Peter all sitting to the side of his bed.

"I'm sorry Prongs," Sirius said quietly.

James shook his head. "It's fine. It happened. Nothing we can do to change it." He looked at the clock. "They've got to have dinner served by now. Why don't you all go get dinner before you miss it."

"Well we can get some to bring up for you," Peter offered.

"Nah, you guys go on ahead. I'm sure I'll be out soon enough." He hoped that they would catch the hint that he didn't want them there anymore. He wanted to be alone so he could wallow in his misery. Lily stood up and left first, but James grabbed Sirius hand before he could leave. He made sure Lily had left before uttering in a low whisper, "I'm going to fucking murder Price."

Sirius nodded, looking completely serious. He had never lost a game either and it was Will's fault they lost the Cup. It didn't matter if Hannah took forever to find the Snitch. If he hadn't let in so many goals, they could have still had the leg up on Slytherin even if she never caught it.

"Just don't get caught," Remus said, patting James' leg awkwardly and leaving, the others right behind him.

James laid his head down and tried to ignore the pain. He called out, "Hey Poppy? Can I go ahead and get a dreamless sleep potion? I'm in a lot of pain and I'd like to just forget what happened today for a while."

Madam Pomfrey understood his meaning, and silently handed him a small blue vial. He downed it in one gulp. He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He traced the patterns the stone supports made until he could feel himself drifting off to sleep. He closed his eyes and let the dark envelope him. After a few minutes, he was completely out.

Downstairs Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Lily sat down to join to Marlene, Mary, and Alice. There was a subdued air around the Gryffindor table. No one was talking, and everyone was forlornly looking at their food, barely eating. It was the first time they lost the Quidditch Cup in 8 years.

"Is he alright?" Marlene asked, handing the bowl of potatoes to Sirius.

Lily shook her head. "He was trying to pretend it was okay, but you could tell he was devastated."

Will came from the other side of the table to join them. "How is he?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Will. "He's fine."

Lily looked down and pushed her green beans around. She knew that the team was furious at Will for letting so many goals in. She suddenly slammed her fork down, causing several people around her to jump and glare at her. "Oh my God."

Mary looked at her curiously. "What?"

"Tomorrow is James' birthday!" Lily shook her head. In the wake of the Quidditch match, she and everyone else had forgotten that he was turning sixteen tomorrow. If anything could make him feel worse, it was that this match happened right on his birthday weekend. The Marauders had been planning the party of the year, combining the Quidditch victory with his birthday to create an all out rager.

Marlene's eyes widened. "Oh, fuck."

"Some birthday present," Sirius muttered. That earned several looks from everyone around them.

"I figured we would cancel the party tonight, just because everyone is so glum, but maybe we could do it tomorrow night? Surprise James when he gets out of the hospital?" Peter offered.

Sirius nodded excitedly, as he was always down for a party. "I'll sneak down to Hogsmeade tonight and bring back a bunch of booze, make him forget all about the match." After the match ended so badly, no one had bothered to make arrangements for the party.

They all nodded, but Lily frowned. She didn't think he would be in the mood for a party, but his friends knew him better than he did, she supposed. She nodded too and then got up to leave, pushing her unfinished dinner away from her. She didn't feel like eating. Even though she didn't care about Quidditch much, it was still sad to see the Cup go to another house. And James' misery had spread to her as well. "I'm going to head up to bed. 'Night guys." Will followed her and they walked up in silence.

Will spoke up right as they reached the portrait hole. "It's pretty early to go to bed."

Lily nodded. "Yeah I'm probably going to read for a while anyways." She pecked him on the cheek. "'Night." Will looked disappointed, she could tell. She felt the familiar sensation of guilt creep up on her, but she tried to push it away.

She went upstairs and pulled out her Transfiguration book from her bag. She settled onto her bed, kicking off her shoes and opening the book. They had a quiz on Monday, and she was ill-prepared. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her fiery red hair to change its color.

She pulled out her wand and tried again. She waved her wand over her hair, attempting to turn it jet black. She looked over in the mirror. It was still the same fiery red, though maybe a shade darker.

She swore and put her wand away. She read the chapter again, attempting to understand how she was supposed to change her wand movement as she said the spell.

She read the passages through twice, her eyelids drooping as she read the lines. She realized she read through the same line four times, but didn't retain any of the information it contained. She tried to focus, but she laid her head back, relishing in how comfortable her bed was. _I'll just take two minutes, then get back to the chapter,_ she thought, closing her eyes. She, of course, fell asleep, still wearing the clothes from today, with the book open to her side.


	17. The Broken Record

"Alright, I think that's the last of it," Sirius said, dropping down another crate of firewhiskey. He had snuck down to Hogsmeade hours before in preparation for James' party.

Lily was sitting on the couch next to Remus, staring into the fire. Everyone was still glum, but maybe things would pick up. She hadn't seen anyone in the common room all day, not even Peter.

"Where is Peter?" She asked, finally realizing his absence.

Sirius came over and sat down, pulling Remus on to his lap. "He got detention for something. He told me, but I forgot."

"You two are adorable," she commented.

"I know," Remus said. Sirius laughed, the loud noise sounding more like a bark than a chuckle. He buried his face in Remus' neck, kissing him on the cheek. Remus smiled and leaned back against him, running his hand through his dark locks.

"Have you told the others?" Lily questioned.

Remus shook his head and Sirius sighed. "Not yet. We're not sure how to do it." He paused. "I'm not sure how'll they'll react."

"You could always have them walk in on you like I did," Lily offered, laughing. Sirius scowled at her, but she could tell he was holding back a grin.

"I'm thinking we should recreate that moment, what do you think Moony?" Sirius asked, turning Remus' face to his. Remus giggled, a foreign sound to Lily. She hadn't seen him so happy in a long time. Maybe ever.

Sirius leaned forward and their lips met. Remus turned his body so their chests were touching and leaned in deepen to the kiss.

Lily cleared her throat awkwardly. "Well that's my cue to go," she said, standing up. Sirius waved goodbye without removing his lips from Remus'. Lily laughed and climbed out of the portrait hole, entering the cool corridor.

It came at a perfect time. She needed an excuse to avoid the party tonight.

James woke up, smelling the astringent odor of the hospital he was in. He groaned and sat up, most of the pain gone. He was just sore.

He looked around. The clock showed that it was already five p.m. Madam Pomfrey heard him wake up and bustled over to his bed. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Sore."

"Well that is to be expected. I gave you more sleeping potion this morning around four, since you would heal best if you weren't moving. I informed your professors that you will probably not be able to turn in their assignments tomorrow, due to your busy weekend. They understood, and said that they would give you a week extension."

James nodded. "Can I go now?"

She bit her lip. "Well, James I would appreciate if you would stay longer, but if you must, you are free to go." She helped him out of bed and he slowly walked back to Gryffindor tower.

He mumbled the password and stepped through the portrait hole.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Dozens of students roared. He jumped, almost falling over. Sirius and Remus ran up to stabilize him , then helped him over to the couch.

Peter handed him a shot of firewhiskey, but James shook his head and pushed it away. "I'm pretty sure I still have sleeping potion in me, I don't think they would mix well," James said, dismissing him. Peter frowned, then took the shot himself.

Sirius reached over and patted him on the back. "We figured we'd cheer you up. Also Poppy told us you got a week's extension on your work, so you can party hard tonight and not have to worry about getting anything done."

James nodded, knowing he had no intention to party at all tonight.

He politely refused drinks handed to him, or dumped them out in various places when people told him he had to drink it. He also refused to dance, making the excuse that he was still too sore. Mainly he just watched everyone else have fun from the armchair by the fire. A few people came to talk to him, but most of the people were there to just use his birthday as an excuse to get drunk.

He hung around for an hour or so, and when he saw that everyone was fairly drunk and wouldn't notice if he was gone, he slipped out of the common room and into the corridor. He wandered around for a while, no particular place in mind, just killing time to escape the party.

He was walking along a corridor on the fourth floor in the semi-darkness, glancing at all of the portraits. Most of them were asleep. He walked alone in the silence, running through things that could have gone better in the match, thinking about every misstep, everything that he could have changed.

 _What a shitty birthday_ , he thought. He was frustrated. He saw a suit of armor leaned up against the wall and kicked it in the shin, rattling the old metal."HEY!" the suit of armor yelled at him, causing him to jump back.

A classroom door swung open, and he was blinded by the light emitting from someone's wand. He drew his own, pointing it at the shadowy figure behind the light.

"James?" The person lowered their wand, and he recognized the red hair. She was staring at him, then looked at the suit of armor that was now making a very rude gesture at James. She laughed at the armor and turned back into the classroom she emerged from.

"Lily? Why aren't you at the party?" He followed her back into the classroom, which was empty. There was a mirror standing in the corner of the room.

"Partied out tonight, I guess." She turned back to the mirror, waving her wand back and forth over her hair.

James ruffled his hair. "Yeah, me too."

She saw his face in the background of the mirror and smiled sadly at him."I figured. Happy birthday, James."

He ruffled his hair again and smiled back her reflection, though it wasn't genuine. "Thanks. What are you doing?"

Lily sighed and sat down in front of the mirror. "I'm trying to transfigure my hair before this quiz tomorrow. I can't get it." He sat down next to her, waving his wand to make his hair the exact same shade as hers. She glared at him. "Show-off."

"One thing I can do right," James mumbled, turning his hair back its jet black.

She reached out for his hand. "I'm sorry."

He took it, noticing how small her hand was in his. He looked down at their hands intertwined for a second before looking up at her face, staring into her eyes. He laughed nervously and ran his free hand through his hair. "Do you want some help?" She nodded. "You're probably thinking about it like Charms, not like Transfiguration."

"What?" She was confused.

"In Charms you can focus on the wandwork and spell, and think about the end result. In Transfiguration you have to think about how you are trying to change the nature of the object you are trying to transfigure." He reached out and grabbed a piece of her hair delicately, "You have to think about how every single strand of hair on your head is this red color, and you want to change every single strand to a new color. Focus on the change, not the result." He rubbed his thumb over the small lock he had picked up. It was soft, and when she moved her head he smelled her flowery perfume.

Lily nodded, then closed her eyes and thought for a second. She waved her wand over her hair, then opened her eyes. It wasn't the jet black she was going for, but it was closer than she had ever gotten. "Oh! It almost worked."

"Good job." He turned her hair back to the red.

"Hey!"

He shrugged. "I like it better this way."

She frowned, then turned to face him. She stared into his eyes, focusing on the hazel color, with flecks of gold in them. They had a black ring around the iris. His pupils dilated as he stared back into her green ones. She raised her wand, concentrating hard, and transfigured their hazel depths to an icy blue.

He blinked and looked in the mirror. "Is that what you were going for?" She nodded. "Excellent, Lils. Try it on yourself."

She turned back to face the mirror, then waved her wand over her hair again. She concentrated hard, thinking about all of the strands she needed to change, their red color. She opened her eyes again, and she had turned her hair the same color as James. She laughed. "We could be related."

James shook his head. "Nah, you're way prettier than me." She scowled. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I was just joking."

She made a face at him, wrinkling her nose. "Yeah, okay." She concentrated on changing her hair back to its own color.

"Why don't you try something harder, like making your nose smaller, or changing your ear shape," he suggested. She nodded, and focused on her nose. She stared it down in the mirror until eyes went out of focus. She closed them and pointed her wand at her nose.

When she opened her eyes again, her nose had shrunken by a miniscule amount. She wrinkled it and James laughed. "Try again." She did, and this time she shrunk it too much, making it look comically small on her face. Both her and James burst out laughing, James tweaked her tiny nose, which made them laugh harder. They laughed until their stomachs hurt, pointing at her nose. Lily scrunched up her face and talked in a silly voice, "Stop making fun of my nose, I can't help it."

"Shut up, tiny nose," James laughed, poking it.

Due to the large racket they had been making, the were easily located. They heard the door open and they both whipped around, wands held aloft. Lydia was at the door. "James I've been looking for you everywhere, you're missing the party…"

She trailed off when she saw them, hands still interlaced, red faced and snickering. James dropped Lily's hand immediately. He stood and started towards the door. "Yeah sorry, I'll come back-" but Lydia had already turned and slammed the door behind her.

"We really have the worst luck, don't we?" Lily laughed, trying to change her nose back to original shape. James frowned at her, then followed Lydia outside into the corridor.

Lily watched him go, sad that he didn't stay. She shook her head, realizing that he had to follow her. She concentrated hard on her nose again, and got it to return to its original shape. She sighed and vanished the mirror she had conjured, then left the classroom. She walked slowly back to the tower, hoping that she wouldn't catch up to them.

She stopped, realizing that the party was still going on. She turned back around, looking for another place to hide out until the party was over. She looked at her watch, which told her it was eleven pm. She sighed, knowing that it would go at least until two. _It's a Sunday_ , she groaned, _why couldn't they have waited a week?_ She contemplated going back, thinking about if she could sneak through the party undetected upto her dorm. She figured it probably wouldn't work.

She could go down to the dungeons and check on Remus' potion. She had told Slughorn she was working on improving it to present to the Tobias man she had met at his Christmas party. He easily believed it, and she thought it might actually be a good idea.

She had started brewing a second batch, experimenting with it so that the original wouldn't be tainted and Remus could still use it. She decided against going down to the dungeons though, since it was so close to the Slytherin dorm. She was trying her best to avoid that area, and when she absolutely had to go down there, she snuck around like a cat, slipping into corners anytime she heard a noise.

She was pretty cowardly for being a Gryffindor, she thought. Sneaking around to avoid a few Slytherins that were nowhere near her match in magical skill. She wandered around a while longer until she found herself at Dumbledore's office. She had only been in once in her third year, when she had caught the Marauders releasing pixies into the corridors, causing an attack on the students going to class. It was pretty funny, she had to admit, but she still had to tell Dumbledore about it. They had gotten detention for two months.

She stared up at the statue guarding the passage upwards. She thought about trying to guess the password, but she knew she would never be able to. She was about to leave when the statue turned, revealing the stone spiral staircase.

She cautiously made her way up, and knocked on his door. It slid open, to reveal the Headmaster sitting at his desk, lightly stroking his Phoenix. There were knick knacks everywhere, giving the room a cluttered but homey feel. As she stepped in she looked around at all of the portraits of the headmasters that came before him. They were all asleep, snoring lightly.

Dumbledore looked up and smiled at her, his gaze made her feel welcome, but also like he was scrutinizing her. "Ah, Miss Evans. What brings you in tonight?" He asked softly.

"I'm sorry Headmaster, the door opened on its own, I didn't mean to intrude," she said, staring down at her feet.

"No matter, Miss Evans. The statue sometimes has a mind of its own. It can sense when a student needs to come in." One of his bright blue eyes winked at her, "Remember, Miss Evans, help will always been given at Hogwarts to those who need it." He indicated the chair across from him. "Please, have a seat."

She sat down slowly. "Well I'm not exactly sure if I need help, Professor."

"Sometimes we need help even when we don't realize it." Dumbledore peered over his half moon spectacles. "Maybe the help you need is just an ear to listen, my dear."

Lily nodded slowly, "I had wanted to talk to you about something, though I'm not sure if I should."

"If you thought about telling me, it must be important," he said, and Lily looked down quickly to not make eye contact with him. "Miss Evans?"

"I think Severus has taken the Dark Mark," she blurted out quickly. She wasn't able to stop it. It had been on her tongue since she found out, itching to tell someone, anyone.

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

Lily looked up at him, incredulously. "You're not going to say anything?"

Dumbledore sat the box down he was offering her. "I had a suspicion that Mister Snape had gotten involved with the Dark Arts. This confirms that."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, staring him down. She hated his ever calm demeanor, his reluctance to do anything to stop trouble brewing within Hogwarts walls.

"Try to guide him back to the right path," Dumbledore smiled, "He knows he belongs with us, not with them. He can still come back."

"Can he?"

"People can always change, Miss Evans."

"Even Voldemort? Do you think you could guide him back to the right path?" Lily asked, the bitterness in her voice dripping from her words.

Dumbledore smiled again. She felt like he was silently laughing at her naivety "Even Voldemort. He wasn't always Voldemort. He was once Tom Riddle, a boy brought into the magical world, just wanting to learn about more and more about it. He, like your friend Severus, was lead down the wrong path."

"We're not friends," Lily stated, looking down again.

"I'm sorry?"

"Severus and I are not friends. Anyone who would join a terrorist group set on killing people like me, like my family, will never be my friend," Lily retorted, hoping her words would make him realize why he needed to do something.

"I understand, I would never expect you to be. I can only hope that, when given the opportunity, you might try to convince him to return." He folded his hands and sat back in his chair. "Is there anything else I could help you with, Miss Evans?" She shook her head and stood up to leave. " I hope that, in time, you may understand my reasoning, and can help me on this quest."

"Thank you, Professor. I will try." She turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her. She wasn't sure if he had actually helped her, though at least he knew now. If Severus had taken the Mark, then Avery and Mulciber must have too. Who knew how many students were being recruited by Voldemort.

She walked down the stone staircase and walked back to Gryffindor tower, thinking about all of the danger that was now lurking within Hogwarts. If these students were now Death Eaters, would they be able to give information to Voldemort about how to infiltrate Hogwarts and attack? How to get to Dumbledore?

She made it to the portrait hole and looked up at the Fat Lady. She was asleep, and Lily felt guilty about waking her up. She huffed at her and scolded her for being out so late. Lily nodded and climbed through, delicately shutting it behind her.

Though it was still early, most of the party had cleared out, besides a few stragglers. She saw James sitting on the couch with Lydia in his lap. She turned and smiled sweetly at Lily, though Lily felt that it wasn't a friendly smile. James looked at her and frowned, and Lily turned quickly to head up the staircase to bed.


	18. Your First Mistake

The next morning Lily woke up and rolled out of bed to get dressed. Despite her practice last night, she was still worried about the Transfiguration quiz. She thought about asking James to help her again, but she figured with the way Lydia and Will had been acting the past few weeks, it was best to keep her distance from James. She and Will were back to normal, though. After the Quidditch match he started spending more time with her, which she attributed to the fact that most of Gryffindor was giving him the cold shoulder for his performance. She couldn't blame her house mates. It was a devastating loss, and they hadn't lost in eight years.

She was still holding him off, and she knew he was disappointed, but he hadn't pressed the issue much further. She felt guilty that they had been dating for four, almost five, months and they hadn't gone any further than snogging, but she also felt guilty whenever he tried to go further. She felt torn, and she wasn't sure of what to do. She was expecting that he would break up with her after what he said and try to find a girl that would let him take it farther than just snogging. She wasn't sure how much she would care.

However, she hoped that he was finally beginning to understand her feelings about the situation. Five months was not a long time, and she didn't think that she should rush into anything. She headed downstairs to breakfast, before her roommates woke up.

Gryffindor table was practically empty, which she attributed to the late night they all had last night. She rolled her eyes, but sat down and served herself breakfast. She sat in the quiet and discreetly practiced transfiguring her features. This time she was able to make her nose smaller without shrinking it too far, and she smiled.

She hoped she would do well on this to make James proud. She frowned and shook her head. That shouldn't be why she wanted to do well. She should do well so she can do well on her exams and go into N.E.W.T.s prepared.

She sighed and charmed her nose back to normal. Before breakfast ended more people started coming in, and Lily slipped out quietly, not wanting to see anyone at the moment. She saw Snape across the entrance hall and looked at him, trying to convey a silent message with her eyes, hoping that he would see reason. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she sighed and turned away. She had Herbology first, so she made her way out to the greenhouses.

Luckily they were just repotting the plants they had been working with, so she let Peter do most of the work. She hadn't been putting much effort into her schoolwork lately. She didn't have the energy. That was another thing she felt guilty about. It seemed that every aspect of her life was making her feel bad for even existing.

Once Herbology was over, she made her way slowly to Transfiguration and sat in her desk until everyone came in several minutes later.

Everyone was quiet and waited until McGonagall came in. They each had to transfigure the body part assigned to them in front of her. She walked around the classroom assigning their tasks. She gave Lily the nose, which made her smile to herself. She wondered if she had seen her practicing in the Great Hall this morning and decided to help her out.

Lily easily changed her nose, and McGonagall gave her full marks. She turned and tried to give James a thumbs up, but he pointedly looked away from her, his eyebrows still bright green. She was confused, but she turned back around. Once everyone had been tested McGonagall started a new lesson.

Later that day, James was in the library with Lydia. She needed help with her Muggle Studies homework. She was a year younger than them, so James had already learnt the material she was covering in class.

"I just don't get how the Post Office works. How do they know where people are? And doesn't it take forever for one person to get everybody their letters? Why don't they just use owls like we do?" She asked, sighing heavily and pushing her book away. Inside there was a picture of a fat man holding a blue rucksack bursting full of white envelopes. He held one up and smiled at the camera. James smiled at how ridiculous it was.

James saw Lydia looking at him expectantly and realized her questions were not rhetorical. He sighed, annoyed that he had to explain every Muggle invention to her three times before she understood it. "They don't use owls because they're harder to train without magic. Whenever they send a letter they write the person's address on it, and then people take it to their house. They have more than one person doing it."

"It still seems stupid to me." She huffed and shut her book. "I don't want to study anymore."

"I have to though, so you can go on without me, I still need to finish some stuff." He heard laughing across the room, followed by Pince's aggressive shushing. Lily was sitting at a table across the library with Alice. He smiled and watched her for a second.

Lydia smacked his arm and he looked back. She frowned at him. "I think I'll stay." He nodded and pulled out his Charms book, flipping to the page on Cheering Charms. He looked up again and wondered if Lily was working on Cheering Charms too. They were both still laughing.

Lily caught him watching and waved at him. He waved back. She motioned for him to come over, and he looked at Lydia, then back at her and shook his head. Lily slowly lowered her hand and frowned.

 _Fuck it_. He got up and walked over, with Lydia scoffing behind him. "What's up?"

Lily looked up at him and smiled, "Are you working on Cheering Charms?" He nodded. "Want some help?" He pointed back at his table where Lydia was watching them. "Oh, she can come too." She waved her over and Lydia narrowed her eyes, but came over with her books in tow.

"Hey Lydia," Lily said, smiling. Lydia nodded once, then took the seat next to Alice. James sat next to Lily and pulled out his wand. "What are you working on?"

Lydia looked up. "Muggle Studies."

"Oh, I'm Muggleborn, if you need help, let me know. We have some weird devices that a bunch of Wizards don't seem to get. James the other day asked me what a toaster was!" Lily laughed and poked him in the side. James groaned internally. Lydia was not going to like this.

Alice laughed, "Really James?" He was about to answer, but Madam Pince shushed them again. Lily snickered behind her hand and pulled out her wand again. She moved her wand and silently cast a Cheering Charm on James, who started laughing. He was trying to be quiet, but failing. Lily put her hand over his mouth.

"James, shut up! You're going to get us kicked out."

He stopped laughing. "It's your fault!" She rolled her eyes and indicated that he should do the same to her. He silently cast the spell and watched a grin spread over her face, but it faded after a couple of seconds. He frowned at her."Why aren't you laughing?"

"I don't think you cast it well enough. Here, let me show you the wand movement." She grabbed his wand hand and moved it in a sweeping motion towards Alice. "Do you see? Here, say the spell out loud and I'll move your hand for you. He did as instructed, and Alice burst into laughter, tears streaming out of her eyes.

James laughed, but immediately dropped his hand from Lily's when he saw Lydia's face. She stood up. "I'm going to go." James didn't have time to respond, and watched her swiftly walk out of the library. He turned back to the table and was about to cast another charm.

Lily stopped him and smacked his arm. "James, you dolt, why didn't you follow her?"

He rubbed his arm where she had hit it. She was a lot stronger than she looked. "Why am I supposed to follow her? We're busy!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Obviously she was upset, you should have done something."

"Why is she getting upset over us working on Cheering Charms?" James asked, "Maybe I should've done one on her."

Lily smiled at that and chuckled, but then tried to be serious. It didn't work well though, as the effects of her last Cheering Charm were still lingering. "James, you're a terrible boyfriend."

He frowned. "Well if you had been a better girlfriend, we wouldn't have lost the Cup." He regretted that as soon as he said it. He meant it as a joke, but it didn't quite come out right.

Lily's smile vanished. She narrowed her eyes at him, then slammed her book shut and left.

"Merlin, James are you trying to piss off the entire female student body?" Alice shook her head and looked back at her book.

"It was true!" He protested. Pince shushed him again and he rolled his eyes. "It was," he whispered to Alice, who scoffed.

He returned to his book and read the chapter, trying to focus but failing.

Lily walked quickly back to Gryffindor tower. _James is a toerag_ , she thought. It wasn't her fault that they didn't win the Cup. Her relationship issues didn't cause them to lose. She shook her head. Will was causing a lot of problems in her life. She went up to her dorm and found Marlene sitting on her bed. She was relieved to have someone to talk to.

"Should I break up with Will?" She blurted.

Marlene looked up, half of a licorice wand hanging out of her mouth. "What?"

"Should I break up with Will?" She asked as she sat down on her bed.

"Why?" Marlene scooted over to make room for her.

"I feel like seventy percent of my problems are caused by him," Lily lamented. "Maybe I should just break up with him. I thought I needed to have a boyfriend because everyone has one, but maybe I should just be alone."

"That seems over-dramatic. You wouldn't be alone, you'd just be single when you're sixteen, which is perfectly normal." Marlene stroked Lily's hair in an attempt to calm her.

Lily sighed dramatically and looked up at Marlene, making a pouting face."Just tell me what to do."

"I mean we all hate Will after that Quidditch final, so we wouldn't be too miffed."

She sat up, not sure if Marlene was joking or not. "Do you all really hate him? It wasn't all his fault."

"He let in, like, a thousand goals, Lils. It was supposed to be an easy match." Marlene shrugged. "I don't know if you should break up with him, but it doesn't seem like you're overly happy right now."

Lily nodded, thinking over her options. "I mean I'd feel bad to break up with him, especially if everyone says they hate him."

"Didn't you say he said he was going to toss you over after this term anyways?" Marlene asked.

"I never said that. I said he said that he didn't know if we would be together at the end of this term," Lily corrected. "Maybe I should beat him to the punch though."

"Yeah I mean, if he isn't making your life easier I'd say toss him and go out with James."

Lily's eyes widened. "What? Who said anything about James?"

She rolled her eyes. "Come on Lily, you're totally hot for James. You spend all of your time together, constantly touching him and laughing."

"I do that with Sirius and Remus and Peter! And you and Mary! And Alice!" She protested. "We're just friends. Why does everybody think we're together?"

"Because you guys are soulmates," Marlene stated simply.

"Do you guys all think this?" Marlene nodded and Lily huffed in frustration. "That doesn't make any sense! If I wanted to date him I would have gone out with him one of the ten thousand times he asked me!"

"You didn't say yes all of those times because you didn't know him. This year he's matured and really grown up. He can be a really great guy when he tries."

Lily was silent, thinking about it. James had matured a lot this year, and she did love spending time with. But she loved spending time with all of her friends. There was nothing special about James.

Marlene watched her. "I'm pretty sure you have a thing for him. You don't look at Peter or the others like you do James." Lily glared at her. "Don't hate me for it. Just break up with Will and see what happens."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to 'see what happens'. James and I are friends, nothing more. And he has a girlfriend!" Marlene made a face that implied that James's having a girlfriend wouldn't be an issue. Lily got up, ignoring Marlene's suggestive look and went to take a shower.

She stood under the hot water, debating her predicament. She really should break with Will. They were fine now, but it just never felt right. She didn't want to break up with him though, because she knew that it would be awkward, and they would have to see each other around all of the time. It would be impossible to avoid him for the next two months.

She didn't want to stay with him out of convenience, though. Maybe she could ask to borrow James' invisibility cloak, she mused.

James. Marlene was completely wrong. She did not have any feelings for James. Everyone kept saying she did, but they were just good friends. It was nice to have him as a friend, and not have him ask her out every day.

She wondered why he stopped asking her out, actually. Even before she started dating Will he hadn't even asked her out once. Maybe he finally lost interest in her. That thought stung. She supposed she should be happy, since she wanted to tear her hair out by the end of fourth year after the three hundredth time he asked her out.

There was a nagging feeling she had that wanted to know why he had stopped asking her out, though. Had he really lost interest in her? Maybe once they started hanging out he realized she actually wasn't worth the trouble. She had expected that the more they spent time together the more he would want to ask her out. What if all of those years he had put her on a pedestal, and now that he finally knew her, he realized she wasn't good enough?

Two years ago she would have killed to not have him asking her out. For some reason it still hurt. She was worried that she was no longer good enough in James' eyes, which was a stupid thing to worry about. It didn't matter what he thought of her anymore, because they were just friends.

She shook her head. Just friends.

She turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her. She was going to break up with Will though, once she found a good time.

Shortly after Lily had left the library James went up to the tower and headed up to his dorm. Sirius and Remus were in there, laying on Remus bed. He laughed. "What are you guys doing?" Sirius gave him a look. "Oh." He closed the door behind him. "I've pissed off every female in Hogwarts, apparently," James told them.

Sirius laughed and got up to sit on his own bed. "What did you do this time?"

James threw his hands up. "This is ridiculous. I was studying in the library with Lydia, and Lily told me to come over to work with her, so I did and-"

"Well that was your first mistake," Remus interrupted.

"She was working on Cheering Charms! And she offered to help Lydia with her Muggle Studies homework!"

"And that was your next mistake."

"I didn't do anything!" James protested.

"Lydia caught you guys together on your birthday, so she feels threatened by Lily already. Then you opt to study with Lily over her, and Lily adds insult to injury by reminding her that she's smarter than her," Remus said, carefully explaining the situation.

"She didn't say she was smarter than her, she just said that she was Muggleborn and could help! And she didn't 'catch' me and Lily doing anything, except working on Transfiguration!" James was utterly confused by this situation.

"I thought you said you guys were sitting together, holding hands and laughing?" Sirius asked.

"We were holding hands, but not like that! And we were laughing because Lily's nose was the size of her pinky. It wasn't anything. If she had seen the three of us doing it she wouldn't have been mad."

"Well you also didn't ask us out a million times and obsess over us for years," Remus said, which earned a glare from James.

"Lydia is from one of those old pureblood families. She was probably pissed off that a Muggleborn was trying to steal her boyfriend, then trying to show that she was better at school," Sirius said.

"She doesn't think that!" James protested. "Her family maybe a little iffy, but she doesn't think anything like that."

"What happened next?" Remus asked.

"Well I tried casting a Cheering Charm and it didn't work so Lily showed me how to do the wand movement-"

"Please don't tell me she held your hand while doing it," Remus said, rubbing his temples.

"Well yeah, but how else would she do it?"

"Prongs. You made your girlfriend watch the girl she thought you were cheating with hold your hand right in front of her." Sirius laughed. "You might as well have made out with her."

"Well she's pissed at me, too."

Sirius laughed. "Lily? What did you do?"

"Nothing!" They both gave him looks. "When Lydia left, Lily said I was a bad boyfriend, so I said she should have been a better girlfriend so we would have won the Cup."

"OH MY GOD, PRONGS!"

"YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!"

"WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"

"Hey! Hey!" He tried to quiet their shouting. "I was just joking!"

"You are so, so stupid James," Remus said. "You have no idea how much Lily is going through right now."

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"Well she's dealing with the Slytherins constantly harassing her and the other Muggleborns. Snape is a Death Eater, she and Will keep getting in arguments, about you mostly, which makes her feel torn. She wants to be friends with you, but she wants to stay with Will too. She's also afraid of breaking up with Will because of the rumors, and she feels bad that she's causing tension between you and Lydia. On top of all of that, she's stressed about exams coming up."

"There's no way she's feeling all of that," James said in disbelief.

"Some people can think about things other than Quidditch, Prongs." Sirius commented from his corner.

"I can think about things other than Quidditch, I'm just saying that if she really was feeling all of that her head would fall off."

"Well you can understand why you pissed her off." James opened his mouth to protest but Remus kept talking. "You should apologize. To her and Lydia."

"Well apparently I can't be friends with Lily and date Lydia, since I guess I can't have female friends anymore. Nobody says any of this stuff about Marlene, and we've been friends for much longer."

"Well you didn't spend two years chasing after Marlene," Remus reminded James.

"This is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to deal with Lydia's insecurities about Lily. I should just be able to be friends with her and not worry about it. Everyone told me to be friends with Lily and stop chasing her but now you guys are saying I can't even do that."

"Well I doubt she's going to stop making you be friends with her, but maybe you should just stop spending so much time with her," Sirius suggested.

"But I shouldn't have to choose!"

"Just think about which one is more important to you," Remus said.

Lily. James immediately thought, even though not intentionally. "This is ridiculous. I'm not going to choose. I can be friends with Lydia and date Lily no problem." He realized his mistake. "Shit no, the other way around. I can date Lydia and be friends with Lily."

Sirius gave him a knowing look. Remus mumbled, "Freudian slip."

"What?"

Remus laughed quietly. "Nothing, it's a Muggle thing."

James scowled at him. "I'm going to go find Lily and apologize."

James left the room, but realized it was already ten o'clock. Lily was probably already in bed. He went turn back around. "Tomorrow." Sirius laughed and James went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.


	19. Is It Potter?

James sat in the common room, rapidly tapping his foot. He was waiting for Lily to come down so he could apologize. He knew that he should probably go down to breakfast and apologize to Lydia first, but this was more important to him. Plus, he felt like Lydia was being completely irrational. Sure he had asked Lily out a bunch of times and was technically still mad for her, but it wasn't like he would do anything with her. They were just friends. Everyone else knew that. And she should know he wouldn't do anything.

Lily came down at that moment, wearing a skirt and her hair up in a messy bun. His heart leapt to his throat and he ruffled his hair.

Just friends.

She glared at him and breezed past him. "Lily, wait," he called out. She stopped and turned back to face him. "I was out of order yesterday. I meant it as a joke, but I shouldn't have said it. It's not your fault Will's a shitty Quidditch player." She narrowed her eyes. He corrected, "Sorry, it's not your fault we lost. I'm sorry."

Lily thought for a moment. It wasn't really fair of her to be mad at him. She did say he was a terrible boyfriend. And Will was being a prat. She wasn't sure why it took so long for her to break up with him in the first place. She was afraid that breaking up with him would make everything awkward, seeing as they lived in the same tower, and she also felt like having a boyfriend was something she should be doing right now.

But not anymore. She wasn't going to stay with him out convenience or social standards.

Lily smiled. "It's fine. He was kind of a shitty player." James laughed. "I'm sorry too. I didn't think about it at the time, but I probably didn't help your situation with Lydia."

"I never helped your situation with Will either," James said sheepishly. He ruffled his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, well that won't be a problem much longer," Lily mumbled, looking down at her feet. She wasn't sure why she said it. She wanted to tell him though.

James started. "What?"

Lily looked at him for a long moment, thinking hard. There was no reason to tell James that she was going to break up with him. But there also was no reason to not tell him. "I'm going to break up with Will."

James' heart started beating like a drum. "Oh."

Lily frowned. She had expected a bigger reaction than that. Was she disappointed? No. She didn't care what James thought about her relationship. She was just informing him, because they were friends, and he was going to find out soon anyways, with the way gossip traveled around Hogwarts. "Yeah"

He nodded, and Lily nodded back. They looked at each other for moment, each wanting to say more but neither speaking. Lily nodded again, then turned to go out the portrait hole. James followed her, his heart beat still erratic. Lily was going to break up with Will. He had been waiting for this for forever. He smiled and thought about how he could-

He shook his head. It didn't matter if she was breaking up with him. He was with Lydia, and Lily being single meant nothing.

They walked in silence to the Great Hall, then split off, Lily to the Gryffindor table and James to the Ravenclaw one.

Lydia looked up at him and narrowed her eyes before looking back down again. He sat down next to her. "Lydia, I'm sorry," he said quietly, trying to keep his voice low since he saw her friends lean in closer to hear what he said.

"For what?"

He rolled his eyes discreetly. Of course she was going to drag this out. "I'm sorry that I," he didn't even know how to say this. How do you apologize for being friends with a girl you've been in love with for the past six years? "That I spend so much time with Lily. I promise there's nothing going on. We're just friends." She gave him a look. "It would mean a lot to me if you would trust me."

"I do trust you. I don't trust her," Lydia commented, pushing her food around her plate and not meeting his eye.

He scoffed. "Did you miss the past two years? She said she'd rather date the giant squid than go out with me." He put his arm around her and kissed her temple. "You have nothing to worry about."

She frowned. "I see the way she looks at you."

James' heart started beating rapidly again. How did Lily look at him? He looked over to Gryffindor table and saw Lily laughing with Alice. Was she looking at him differently?

She grabbed his chin and pulled his gaze back to her. "See what I mean?"

"Nothing is going to happen between me and Lily, I promise." James squeezed her and she nodded, though he was sure she wasn't convinced. He hoped that, for the moment, she was satisfied. He served himself breakfast, but looked up when he saw Lily practically sprinting out of the hall. He watched her go, wondering what was wrong. He moved to get up and follow her, but then immediately realized why he shouldn't do that. He played his movement off like he was reaching to grab a plate further down the table.

Lily was actively avoiding Will. She bolted out of the Great Hall when she saw him come in, making an excuse that she forgot her Potions book. She knew she was being stupid, but she didn't want to do it.

He would either get upset or get mad about it, and she didn't want to deal with either. She wished she could just send him a note with a short message, and then never talk to him again.

 _You're a Gryffindor_ , she thought, _shouldn't you be braver than this?_

She sighed and resolved herself to the fact that she needed to break up with him. Easter break was coming soon, so she would have an entire week for him to leave and not have to see her. She prepared a mental speech, trying to come up with the best way to end things without upsetting him.

After class, she went to the common room and saw James and Remus sitting at one of the tables. She walked over and waved. "Hey."

"Hey Lils. What's up?" Remus asked.

"I'm just waiting for Will." She looked at James, who looked away quickly. "What are you guys doing?"

"Just working on the Potions essay," Remus said, indicating the parchment in front of them.

Lily nodded. "I finished it yesterday. If you want I can help you after I talk to Will."

"Yes that would be great. I've reworded the same sentence like, seventeen times," Remus lamented, crossing one out.

Lily nodded. She looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. She knew Will would be back soon, so she didn't want to start helping them and have him come in and join them. She was about to go back up to her dorm when Will climbed through the portrait hole. They locked eyes, and Will walked towards her, smiling. He made to kiss her, but she grabbed his hand and lead him out into the corridor.

He laughed, "Lily, my dorm is empty, we don't have to be out here."

Lily frowned. "That's not why I brought you out here."

"Oh."

She sighed and clasped her hands, unsure of where to begin. She had rehearsed this in her head multiple times that day but she was still at a loss for words. "Listen, Will, I don't think we should do this anymore."

"Do what?"

She groaned internally. He was not going to make this easy. "I don't think we should date anymore. It seems like we're always fighting, and I just don't have the energy to deal with that right now."

Will narrowed his eyes at her. "Is it Potter?"

She threw her hands up. "It bloody might as well be, considering how obsessed with the idea of us being together you are." She huffed. "No. It isn't _Potter._ " She said the name mockingly. "It's the fact that you would think that I would cheat on you with _Potter_ , the fact that you have been a jealous toerag for the past three months, the fact that any time we're alone you're trying to get into my knickers despite me explicitly saying that I do not want that."

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, she could feel a headache coming on. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"That's okay, we can-"

She didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence. "Will, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't trust me and doesn't listen to me. I'm sorry. I wished things could work out between us, but I don't think they will."

He narrowed his eyes at her angrily. She was going to let him have a say, but she could tell he was just going to yell at her.

She didn't give him the chance, as she turned and went back into the common room. She made to go back to the table, but James was gone. She looked at Remus, who shrugged. She huffed and went upstairs to her dorm, frustrated with everyone.

"You can't avoid her forever, Prongs," Sirius said.

"I have the map and my cloak, sure I can," James replied, only half joking.

"I don't even understand why you're avoiding her," Peter said. He was packing his trunk for the Easter holiday. His parents were excited to see him, since they missed their opportunity over the Christmas break.

"Because, Wormtail," James said, exasperated, "She broke up with Will, and Lydia thinks I'm in love with her, so if I'm constantly around her, she's going to get the wrong idea."

"But you are in love with her," Peter commented.

"Shut up, git," James said, pulling the Snitch out of his pocket and playing with it.

"You can still be friends with Lily even if she's no longer dating Will. Lydia's not going to assume that you two are shagging just because she's single now," Remus said. James made a face, indicating that that would be exactly what Lydia would think.

"Have you guys noticed Lily looking at me differently?" James asked, attempting to be nonchalant.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other. "What do you mean?"

"Lydia said 'I see the way she looks at you'. Has Lily been looking at me differently?" James asked, the hopeful voice in his head begging for there answer to be yes.

"Maybe. It could also be she doesn't want to murder you anymore," Sirius suggested.

James sighed and laid down. "Tell me what to do."

"Break up with Lydia, marry Lily, and have a beautiful child," Sirius laughed, "With your looks and Lily's magical talent?" He whistled. "Kid could save the world."

"I'm not going to break up with Lydia, I'm not going to marry Lily, and we're certainly not having kids."

"Whatever you say, James," Sirius said, getting up to go to the bathroom. James sat up. He was not going to break up with Lydia just because Lily may or may not be looking at him differently. Lydia was fun and actually wanted to date him. Lily didn't.

What if she was looking at him differently? What if she was considering the idea, but was not pursuing it because of Lydia?

He stopped himself. If Lily wanted to date him, she would have said so, or done something. She would have said yes when he asked her out, or broken up with Will before he started dating Lydia.

 _She does not want to date you. Lydia wants to date you,_ he repeated. He needed to get that thought into his brain.

"I'll miss you." Lily hugged Mary, who was about to lug her trunk down to the train. She and Anna were headed home for the Easter holiday, and she, Marlene and Alice were staying at Hogwarts.

"I'll miss you, too. Don't do anything exciting until I get back though."

Lily laughed. "I can ensure that nothing exciting is going to happen."

Mary gave her a suggestive look, which confused her. She waved goodbye and headed down the stairs.

Lily sat back down on her bed. "So. What are we going to do for the next week?"

Marlene shrugged.

"Thank you. That was insightful," she sighed.

"I figured I'd just catch up on work, maybe start studying for exams."

Lily groaned, "That's the responsible, good thing to do." She laid down on her bed. "Why don't I want to do it?" She frowned. She never used to dread doing her work. She had always relished in reading her textbooks, practicing new spells, brewing new potions.

Maybe she was burnt out. She had had non stop work since the first week of September, with no end in sight. It seemed as soon as she finished one assignment, ten more piled themselves onto her desk.

"You're right though. It will be quiet and we can get a lot of work done. Maybe we can even get ahead," Lily said, hopeful.

"We don't have to do anything tonight though. Maybe we can just sit up here and catch up. I feel like I never get to see you guys anymore," Marlene suggested.

Lily nodded happily, "That sounds great. I miss you," She flipped over on her bed to face Marlene. "So what's new?"

Marlene looked down at her hands and bit the inside of her cheek before speaking. "I think there's a girl in Hufflepuff that might be interested in me."

Lily had forgotten about that. Some friend she was. "What happened? Are you interested in her? Who is it?"

Marlene laughed. "Of course you would have a million questions." Lily looked at her expectantly. "Nothing incredible happened. I was just in the library and she asked if she could sit at the table I was at. We were studying for a while, and she asked me if I could show her how to do a Cheering Charm."

"Ohh that's a good sign," Lily commented, smiling at the face Marlene made.

"Anyways. So I did, and she cast one on me, and she said I had a pretty laugh." That earned a "oohhh" from Lily. "And then we went back to studying, but she rested her hand on the table, and I rested my hand next to hers, and then she reached out her pinky, and I reached out my hand, and then we kind of intertwined our fingers a bit."

"Are you interested in her?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think so? What if it was nothing though?"

"Marlene, if a guy did that to you, what would you think?" Lily asked.

"I would think that he wanted to date me or do something," Marlene said simply.

"Wouldn't that be the same for a girl, then?"

Marlene frowned, then bit the inside of her cheek again. "But it's different for girls."

"Why?"

"I don't know, what if she was just being nice?"

"Why don't you ask her then?"

"But what if she's not, then she knows I am, and then she could tell her friends, who would tell everyone, then I'm the weird lesbian that hits on straight girls," Marlene lamented dramatically.

Lily laughed. "I think that's the worse case scenario, Mar." Marlene sighed. "It sounds like she's interested in you. Why don't you just ask her if she wants to study with you again, and then maybe you could," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "touch pinkies again."

Marlene scowled at her, but then laughed. "I might. I don't know. What's new with you?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You can't keep changing the subject." Marlene gave her a look that meant that could, and would. She sighed. "Well I broke up with Will, like I told you. That's been a nightmare, avoiding him," Lily complained.

"Ask to borrow James' cloak," Marlene suggested. Lily could tell she was joking, but it didn't matter.

"I can't, he's been avoiding me."

"Why?"

"I guess because he and Lydia had that fight about me, so he's trying to get her off his back I guess."

"Maybe he should try getting you on your back."

Lily scowled at her and threw a pillow. "Shut up. I'd rather date the giant squid."

Marlene caught the pillow and laughed at her. "You keep saying that, but you haven't made a move on the giant squid."

"I do not want to date James Potter. He's an arrogant, bullying troublemaker." She huffed and reached under her bed to pull out a box of Chocolate Cauldrons. She offered one to Marlene, who took it.

"You know that's not true anymore. Has he started any fights this year? And I don't think he's had a detention since you did."

Lily was about to retort, but stopped. She had started more fights this year than he did. "Surely he has had to have done something ridiculous. He just didn't get caught."

"Admit it Lily, he's matured and become a level-headed, decent guy."

"I know he's a decent guy, but he's still an arrogant troublemaker, even if he isn't bullying people any more. And he did bully people in the past," she argued.

"We all did stupid stupid stuff in the past. And you said he apologized for all of that on the train in September, right?" Marlene shrugged. "I'm not saying you have to run out and marry him. I'm just saying don't write him off for stuff he did in the past. You two have become great friends, and you wouldn't be friends with him if you still believed all of that was true."

Lily narrowed her eyes at her. "I don't think I want to catch up with you any more."

Marlene laughed, and Lily cracked a smile, despite trying to keep her face mad. "Well let's talk about something other than our love lives."

"Oh yes please." Lily sat up and ate another Chocolate Cauldron.


	20. What's Going to Happen Now?

Lily hummed to herself as she stirred the potion in front of her. The full moon was in two days, and she was brewing up the latest batch of Wolfsbane.

She heard the door creak and she whipped around, her wand already at the ready. She was not about to hesitate. The door inched open slowly, only taking a moment or two, but Lily felt like it was an hour. She was breathing heavily, her heart beating wildly. She was clutching her wand so tight her knuckles went numb.

James Potter poked his head in, and she almost sent a stunning spell at him. She exhaled heavily and sat back down on the stool, coming down from the adrenaline high.

"What do you want?" She asked. It was cooler than she meant it to be.

"Can't a guy visit his favorite dungeon on a lovely afternoon like this?" James joked sarcastically.

Lily eyed him, then turned back to her potion. She wasn't stupid. She knew he had been avoiding her. "Not when the dungeon is occupied."

He pulled up a stool next to her and sat down. "Can we talk?"

Lily was about to make a sarcastic comment, but she looked up at James face. His glasses were slightly askew, and he looked down at her with such sincerity in his sad smile that she held her tongue and nodded.

He ruffled his hand through his hair. "I've been avoiding you." She nodded. "I figured you noticed. I'm sorry." He paused, expecting her to say something. She kept stirring the potion. "I didn't want to. I just thought it would be better if we didn't spend so much time together."

"Why?" Lily asked, looking up at him. James was surprised by her tone. He expected her to say she didn't care, or she hadn't noticed, but she sounded, disappointed? He looked into her big green eyes staring up at him, making her look like a sad puppy.

"I-" How should he say this? "Lydia thinks there's something going on between us. I've told her a thousand times we're just friends, but I still think she's not happy about it."

Lily nodded. "I understand. Will thought the same thing." She sighed. "I wish we could just be friends without everyone making such a big deal out of it." She looked up at him, and thought about her conversation with Marlene. She had to admit, James had changed this year. "You've really matured this year James, and I like being friends with you. I don't want to stop just because people say we aren't."

James' heart started fluttering. "I like being friends with you, too." She nodded at him, then turned back to her potion. "Well we don't have to stop being friends just because my girlfriend says so." Lily smirked at him. "We don't. She should trust me like I trust her."

"That's what I said about Will, and now look where I am."

"You're better off is what you are," James remarked.

She smiled and lightly shoved him. He caught her hand and stabilized himself on his stool. He turned towards the table she was working at. "How's the potion coming along?"

"It's good. It'll be ready in time."

"Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to all of us."

"Remus means a lot to me," Lily said. James smiled and ran a hand through his hair. _Why was she so damn perfect?_ She caught his hand. "You know you're going to go bald if you keep doing that."

"With this head of hair?" He grinned. "Never."

"God help your children, James. Their hair is never going to lie flat."

"Well let's hope they get your hair," James joked. Lily gave him a look. "Sorry, force of habit."

"Jokes like that aren't going to make anyone think you aren't in love with me anymore. You better break the habit before Lydia hears you," she scolded.

"Who said I was ever in love with you?" He teased.

"You did," Lily deadpanned, "Fourth year. Big banner in the entrance hall. Peter dressed as cupid. Rose petals falling from the sky. Remember?"

He ruffled his hand through his hair again and laughed nervously. "Yeah, that wasn't my best work."

Lily looked at him. "I mean, the rose petal shower was pretty impressive magic, even if it was annoying." He was laughing lightly, completing ignoring her warning about ruffling his hair. She smiled at him. She didn't know why, but she blurted out, "James, can I ask you a question?"

He was nervous. With Lily the question could be anything. "Yeah, shoot."

"Why did you stop?" She asked quietly, not looking at him.

"Stop what?"

"Why did you stop asking me out?"

He laughed, and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Why Evans? Do you miss it?" She looked up at him and realized she wasn't joking. "Well it was," he frowned, "it was obvious you weren't ever going to be interested in me. I figured I'd stop making a fool of myself."

"Oh."

He grinned, "If you'd like I can keep asking you out, each more extravagant than the last."

"I feel like Lydia might protest to that," she laughed.

"Right." James had forgotten about her for a second. This was going to be hard. "Why do you ask?"

She bit her lip. "Promise you won't make fun of me?"

James clutched his chest. "Lily, have I _ever_ made fun of _anyone_ in my ENTIRE life?"

"Shut up, you dolt." She paused, setting her spoon down and turning towards him. "I thought that maybe, since we've been getting to know each other, you found out I wasn't worth the trouble anymore."

James burst out laughing. Lily glared at him. "I'm sorry, just that's the dumbest fucking thing you've ever said."

She scowled. "You said you weren't going to make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, I just think that that is the dumbest possible conclusion you could have drawn." He leaned forward, closer to her. "Did you ever think that I stopped asking you out because you dating Will? Or that I wanted you to stop hexing me? Or that I realized I was being stupid?" She shook her head slowly. "I've heard of jumping to conclusions, Lils, but I think you apparated to this one."

"Shut up."

He slung his arm around her and pulled her close. "I'm glad we're friends. And you would be worth all of the trouble in the world."

She smiled and leaned into him. He kissed the top of her head, then realized what was happening. Lily jumped up and he coughed uncomfortably. "You know, to someone that was trying to date you. Not me, of course, but someone that wanted to."

"Right, of course." She nodded and hastily went back to stirring.

"Well I'm, I'm going to go." James pointed to the door and awkwardly got off of his stool to leave. "I'll see you at dinner."

She nodded and watched him leave. She was sad to see him go. She turned back to her potion and stared at its murky complexion. She was glad he didn't give up on her because of her, but rather because of everything else.

She was still strangely disappointed though.

She shook her head and sat up straighter. She was not disappointed that James was no longer asking her out. She was thrilled. And now they were good friends. She looked back at the door, where James had already left and shut it behind him.

Just friends.

This break passed in a blur. She had spent most of her time with Marlene in the library, so at least she got caught up on work. She was sitting in the common room, stretched out on the couch with her feet in Peter's lap, reading a book.

Remus and James were sitting on the ground in front of the fire playing chess, and Sirius was slouched over on of the arm chairs, dozing in and out. Lily watched Remus and James over the top of her book for moment. James scrunched up his nose and pushed up his glasses as he surveyed the board. He always did that whenever he was concentrating hard. She'd seen that look so many times in their classes together. His face was an open book.

She could tell the exact moment when he saw what to do, as his eyes lit up. She smiled as he moved his queen to take Remus' rook. He noticed her watching and winked at her, causing her to retreat behind her book again.

A first year climbed through the portrait hole and timidly walked up to where she was sitting.

"Lily?" She nodded. "McGonagall wants to see you."

She thanked him and he scurried off. James and Sirius made "ooohh" noises at her and she rolled her eyes. "What did you lot do now? Blow up the prefects bathroom?"

"No, but that's a good idea," James mused.

She glared at him. "If you take away my baths, Potter, I will personally hunt you down and kill you." They all laughed and she left the common room.

Lily stepped out into the corridor and headed towards McGonagall's office, wondering what it could be. She didn't think she was witness to any Marauder pranks recently. Her heart stopped for a second. What if it was about Severus?

She tried to shake the thought out of her mind, and continued towards her destination.

She lightly pushed open the door to find Alice and Marlene already seated at the desk. She looked at them and they both shrugged.

"Please have a seat, Miss Evans," McGonagall said. She didn't seem happy.

"Professor, may I ask what this is about?" She asked.

McGonagall sighed and sat down. "There was an attack."

Lily's stomach plummeted. Her family? Marlene or Alice's family? Who was hurt?

"Anna and her family were found dead last night. The Dark Mark was above the building," she said solemnly, looking at the three of them.

She involuntarily let out a strangled gasp and her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She looked over at Marlene, who had tears streaming from her eyes already. Lily didn't know what to say, what to do. She felt guilty that she didn't bother to get Anna better while she was here. They had lived in the same room for so long. What did she know about her? Her favorite color? Her aspirations after Hogwarts? Lily hadn't even bothered. And now she was dead.

Despite this, Lily kept thinking of her own family, though. Anna, like herself, was Muggleborn. What if someone tried to hurt her family? She was being self-centered, but this news terrified her as much as it saddened her. What was going to happen now?

Alice spoke up first. "Was anyone else hurt?"

McGonagall nodded. "Several Muggles were also found dead." She paused. "There weren't any survivors." She looked at all of their faces. "I'm so sorry, girls. I'm not sure what to say, except that this isn't fair. Anna was too young, and she and the others did not deserve to die." She sighed and stood up. "I know that this probably isn't the best time to say this, but I think that it needs to be said. We will grieve Anna and her family, but I hope that her death will not be in vain." Lily looked up at her confused, and McGonagall nodded curtly. "Use this as a reminder that there is a war, and no one is safe. It is escalating, and soon we will have to fight. I hope that you all will."

Lily was shocked by the severity of her words, but she knew that she was right. She nodded slowly. "Of course, Professor. You know that all of us will fight. We're not going to let them continue."

Alice spoke up next. "I'm going to do everything in my power to put an end to this." Both Lily and Marlene nodded in agreement.

"I will also inform Mary when she returns." She looked at them sadly. "Remember, if you ever want to talk about your grief, I have been in your position more times than I care to remember. I, and the rest of the professors, will be here for you."

The three of them nodded and stood up. Lily felt numb, unsure of what to do with herself. They walked through the corridor, hand in hand, silent. There were a million things to say, and yet Lily couldn't think of a single one that would help anything, comfort anyone.

They walked back to their common room, up the staircase, and returned to their dorm. No one said anything. They all sat on their beds in total silence, staring off into space, each one wondering what the future of the Wizarding World held for them.


	21. I Don't Want You to Go

The next morning Lily woke up slowly, long before she was supposed to. She wrapped her comforter tighter around her, and silently cried, the tears streaming down her face, sideways onto her pillow.

Marlene must have heard her quiet sniffles, as she climbed into bed with Lily and wrapped her arms around her. Lily turned over and held Marlene back, resting her head on her chest. The pair of them held each other, quietly crying until the morning sun peeked through their curtains and signaled that they had to get up and face the day.

She got up, feeling like she was moving through wet sand. Every movement felt like it took a mountainous amount of energy from her. She got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall alone.

She sat next to Remus and Sirius at the table, and quietly served herself breakfast. They stopped talking and noticed her demeanor.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked.

Lily sighed, knowing that they were going to find out soon enough anyways. "There was an attack yesterday. Anna and a bunch of Muggles are dead."

Sirius coughed on his pumpkin juice and Remus' jaw dropped. Peter awkwardly hugged her, and she patted him awkwardly back.

"I'm fine. It was a shock. I'll be okay," Lily said, trying to wave them off. They all knew she was lying. She leaned onto Sirius and he rubbed her back.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She hastily blinked back tears. Remus reached out and held her hand across the table. Marlene came and sat down next to him, and he put his arm around her. Her eyes were already red and puffy, and she started crying again.

The tears streamed quickly down her face, and Lily watched them hit her hair and fall onto the table in front of her. Further down the table, she saw Alice and Frank get up and leave, Frank pulling her close to him.

James came into the hall and headed for the Ravenclaw table. He saw Lydia and waved, then looked over at the Gryffindor table. He stopped.

He saw Lily leaned on Sirius, and Peter stroking her hair. It looked like Marlene was crying. Without looking back at Lydia he immediately turned towards the Gryffindor table.

He kneeled down behind Lily and tapped her on the shoulder. Sirius let go and she turned around. She saw his face, and he could see she holding back tears. Peter scooted over and James sat down next to her.

She reached out and hugged him, pressing her face into his chest. "Anna is dead, James."

James stomach dropped. He held her tighter. "What happened?"

"There was an attack on some Muggle shop. I don't know the details. The Dark Mark was there." Lily said, her low whispers muffled by his chest. He swore, and she looked up at him, still holding him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he said stupidly.

"I don't know what to do," Lily sobbed.

"You can't do anything, Lils," he whispered into her hair.

He felt her sob once, but she stopped and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry."

He pushed her hair out of her face and wiped a tear off. "You don't need to be sorry." She nodded and sat up. James looked out over the hall behind Lily, and immediately saw Lydia glaring daggers at him. _Ah fuck_.

She stormed out of the hall, and James thought he should follow her. He debated it for a second, but then saw Lily's face and immediately decided against it.

Lily didn't notice, and hugged him again. Sirius rubbed her back behind her.

"I'll take notes for you today, you don't have to go. The professors would understand," James offered.

Lily shook her head, and James could feel her nose press into his chest. "I couldn't just sit around the dorm all day. I need a distraction."

James nodded, understanding what she meant. He stroked her hair and let her lean against him for the rest of breakfast. Marlene and Lily held hands over the table, and Marlene leaned against Remus. She blinked back her tears, and leaned into James. He smelled like men's soap, musty and sharp. She breathed deeply, letting the scent calm her. She leaned into him more, closing her eyes and feeling his hand run over her hair.

She sat up, and smoothed out James shirt. She tried to laugh but it came out more as a watery choke. "Sorry." James shook his head. "Ready to go to Potions?" The three of them nodded and they all walked out together to the dungeon.

James held the door open for the three of them, and they all sat down quietly. Snape slipped into the room, and Lily saw him.

She stood up, and James tried to catch her wrist, but missed. She walked over to him and leaned down to his eye level, inches from his face.

"Was it one of your nasty little Death Eater friends that killed her? Or was it you?" Snape gave her a bewildered look. "You didn't know? Your sociopathic friends didn't come bragging to you about how they killed another Mudblood?" Her words were biting. "You disgust me." She looked into his black eyes and glared, hoping that he would feel her rage. "Understand this, Snape. You are a lowly little snake. You and every single one of your Death Eater friends is going to get exactly what they deserve."

"Are you threatening me, Evans?" He retorted. She could tell her surname felt foreign on his tongue.

"Yes." She rose to her full height and looked down on him. "So you better watch your back." She spat his words from earlier in the year back at him, then turned on her heel and went back to her own table, pulling out her textbook and acting like nothing had happened.

James looked at her in both fear and admiration.

"How are you doing, James?"

"I'm fine" He replied. He looked up at Professor McGonagall, who peered at him over her glasses.

"Were you two close?" She asked.

James shook his head. They had only talked two, maybe three times a term. He didn't actually know she was Muggleborn until Lily told him earlier.

"I'm sure it was still a shock though." He nodded. "Do you want to talk about anything?" He shook his head. She sighed. "James, I know that you and many other students have been under a great deal of stress this year. If it is affecting you, I encourage you to talk to me about it. You are not alone in this."

"I'm fine, Professor."

She looked at him, then nodded. "Very well. I'm going to tell you what I told Miss Evans."

He perked up.

"Anna's death wasn't the first, and it won't be the last. It was tragic, yes, but it is also a reminder of what is happening outside of Hogwarts. I hope that, when the time comes, you will fight and try to ensure that things like this don't keep happening."

"You know I will Professor. I would fight right now if you would let me join."

"Not yet, James. But I'm sure you will be needed greatly when the time comes." He nodded. "You're dismissed James. Remember, if you need to talk, I will be here."

James walked from McGonagall's office down to dinner. She had talked to each of the sixth year Gryffindors individually, attempting to be comforting. She had to know that all of that fluffy, "if you need to talk", stuff didn't mean anything to him.

He wanted to join the fight. He knew Dumbledore was doing something, and he wanted in. He wanted to stop this war before it got worse.

He was still deep in his thoughts when he arrived at the staircase down to the entrance hall. He saw Lydia up ahead. He called out after her and she turned back to face him, glaring at him.

"You could have had the decency to break up with me first."

James was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You could have broken up with me before you decided to get together with Lily," She said, her voice cracking slightly.

"I didn't get together with Lily." He was still confused, until he remembered this morning. So much had happened that he forgot. "Lydia, her roommate Anna was killed."

Lydia was about to retort, he could tell, but her eyes widened and her mouth gaped like a fish. "I didn't, I didn't mean-" She stumbled over her words.

He walked up to her, grabbing her hand. "I'm sorry, I should have found you earlier to tell you. I was just trying to comfort her. We were all friends with Anna, and it was a shock. I would have behaved the same way with anyone else."

"I didn't know she was killed," Lydia said, looking down at the floor.

"That's okay. I didn't know until this morning." He said, also looking down. "I've told you, there's nothing going on between me and Lily. We're just friends."

"You keep saying that, but it seems everyday I find you guys touching each other and laughing and you drooling over her."

He tried to not get angry. This shit seemed so trivial. "Lydia, someone was killed." She looked up at him, surprised by his tone. "I'm sorry, I know that you're worried about me and Lily, but you have to understand the bigger picture here. There's a war, Lydia. We're trying to get through it." She narrowed her eyes, but then nodded. They walked down to dinner together. He understood where Lydia was coming from, but it just didn't matter to him at this point.

He spent just as much time hugging Marlene as he did Lily. He spent more time with Sirius than he did Lily. They're in the same grade, in the same house, of course they're going to become close.

Plus none of this mattered. In a year they were going to be thrust out into the world, having to watch their backs with every move. People were dying, and yet Lydia was mad he was hugging Lily too much. He grit his teeth and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

He couldn't blame her, but he did. She was acting so juvenile, so petty. It didn't matter if Lily asked him out tomorrow, he wouldn't do anything until he broke up with her and gave it some time. That probably wasn't a good thought to have. When it came down to it, he would break up with Lydia in a heartbeat if he thought for a second that he might have a chance with Lily.

He was a terrible boyfriend.

But Lydia didn't know any of that. She just knew they were spending more time together. And again, none of this fucking mattered. She was getting pissy with him for hanging out with his friend, when absolutely none of this would matter next year. It probably wouldn't even matter in the next six months.

He looked down at her and she smiled up at him. For some reason that annoyed him. They entered the Great Hall and he told her he needed to sit with his friends tonight. She nodded and they split ways. He went and sat with the rest of the sixth years, hugging Marlene sideways when she sat down.

They all ate in silence, occasionally mentioning something about Anna that was funny or nice. James looked back at Ravenclaw table. Anna's boyfriend wasn't anywhere to be found. He couldn't imagine losing someone like that.

Mary spoke up. "Did McGonagall give you guys the 'don't let Anna's death be in vain' spiel?" They all nodded. "Are you all going to fight once we get out of here?" They nodded again.

"As soon as Dumbledore will let me I'm going to be hunting down Death Eaters," Alice said, matter-of-factly.

"Lily isn't waiting for that. She's threatening them in Potions class," Sirius laughed. Lily gave him a look. She hadn't told anyone about Snape being a Death Eater.

Marlene's head bolted up. "What?" She stared Lily down. "Lily, the only Slytherin in your class is Snape."

"Who said it was a Slytherin?" She said. They all rolled their eyes.

"Lily, what did you do?" Mary asked.

"Nothing!" They all gave her a skeptical look. "I didn't do anything. I just told Snape he should watch his back. He said the same thing to me last fall." She regretted saying that. She hadn't told anyone that.

"What?" They all yelled.

James looked at her. "He did what?"

"I don't think it was a threat, or anything. I think he was genuinely trying to warn me. Mulciber and Avery attacked me a little while after that."

"Oh, that makes it better. Instead of keeping his friends from attacking you, he just vaguely warns you about it weeks beforehand. What a gentleman," Sirius said, sarcastically.

"It's nothing. It doesn't matter. I'm sure Snape is scared of me now, and no one else has attacked me since," she said, trying to brush them off. "Besides, we can all protect each other, right?"

They all nodded, dropping the subject. James knew they weren't going to get anywhere with her.

Peter raised his cup of pumpkin juice, "To Anna. May your death not be in vain."

They all nodded and raised their cups, too. Lily set hers down and looked at James. He looked back at her. They smiled sadly at each other, and she squeezed his hand.

It was Saturday afternoon, three days after Lily heard the news. She was attempting to read her Charms book, but failing. Her mind kept wandering.

Her roommates were gone. She hadn't seen much of Mary at all since the break ended, and Alice had been spending all of her time with Frank. She didn't know where Marlene was.

She sighed and closed her book. She sat for a moment, then stood up and headed out of the door.

She walked up the boy's staircase and knocked on the Marauders' door. A voice from within said it was open, so she slowly stepped inside. She was expecting Remus, but James was the only one in the dorm.

She frowned. "Sorry, I don't know why I came in here. I guess I was looking for Remus."

"That's okay." She turned to leave. "You can talk to me, if you want," he offered.

She nodded and turned back to face him. He was sitting on his bed, his Charms book in front of him. She gestured to it, "I tried reading that chapter, but I couldn't focus."

He nodded, closing the book and setting it on his night stand. "Me either. Do you want to sit down?" He indicated the spot next to him on the bed. She hesitated for a moment, then nodded and sat down next to him.

"I don't know what to do with myself," she said.

"Me either," he said, "I don't know what to say, what to do, what to think."

"Can I say something?" He nodded. "You won't judge me for it?" He shook his head. She took a deep breath. "This whole time I've been thinking about myself. What if it was my family? What if it was me?" She sighed and leaned back against the pillows. "It's so selfish, but I just can't help but be afraid for my family, my friends."

"I keep thinking the same thing."

She looked up at him, relieved. "Really?"

"Everyday I'm scared Dumbledore is going to tell me my parents died, or that Remus' parents died. Or Peter's. Or anyone else." He also leaned back. "I'm so scared."

"What do you think is going to happen?" Lily asked, looking up at him.

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I don't know."

She leaned against him, her hand on his chest, her face resting against him. "I don't know either."

"I know I'm going to fight it, though," he said.

She chuckled. "Me too, James."

"I know Dumbledore has a group together that's fighting. I'm sure my parents are a part of it. We have to help them," he said. He was absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down her arm. He reached up and grabbed the hand that was on his chest and held it.

"Do you think he would let us get involved before we graduate?"

"I don't know."

"I don't either."

"Maybe we can talk to him and McGonagall about something though. Not fighting on the front lines, obviously, but maybe we could start helping out someway, like we could try to get information on how Voldemort's recruiting Hogwarts kids."

"Even if they said no we could still do it," Lily suggested.

"Lily Jane Evans, are you proposing we break the rules?"

Lily laughed and lightly smacked his arm. "I don't think Hogwarts rules matter that much anymore."

"Well in that case, how about you join us on our next prank?"

She suddenly remembered what Marlene had said. "Hey, James?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you had anymore detentions since the one we had to do together?"

James laughed, about to say he had, but then he realized he hadn't. "No. I haven't." He scoffed. "I've gone soft."

"I prefer to say you've matured," Lily said, laughing lightly. She shifted against him, and James wrapped his arm around her tighter. They sat like that for a while, talking. Lily was absentmindedly tracing the lines on his shirt.

"What are you going to do when you graduate?" She asked.

"I have no idea."

"Me either."

"You said you wanted to do something with potions?" James asked, playing with a strand of her hair.

"I met someone at Slughorn's party that said that I should contact him when I graduate. He experiments with potions to improve them. Maybe I could work under him and become a potions master."

"You'd be perfect for that," he said.

"Do you think so?"

He laughed lightly, "I'm pretty sure you've made some kind of change to every potion we've brewed together, Lily. You'd be great at fixing new ones."

She smiled. "Thanks, James."

"I'll probably just live off of my parents money, help Dumbledore fight," he laughed. "I'm sure my parents will love that."

"If you're fighting for a cause you believe in, they can't be upset." She shifted again, looking up at him. "Do you know what your parents are doing?"

He shook his head. "I hear snippets of conversations here and there that tell me that they're involved, but I don't know what they're doing. I doubt they're fighting Voldemort or tracking down Death Eaters, since they're pretty old, but maybe they're finding information within the Ministry."

She nodded. "Maybe you can ask them, now that you're older. See what we can do to help." He nodded too, and they quieted. They sat there, lightly breathing, thinking about the future.

The door opened and Lily expected to one of the other Marauders coming in. She was glad; she wanted to talk to them about everything.

Instead it was Lydia, with her bag of school books. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the two of them.

James had forgotten she was going to come over to "study." "Lydia-" James began, but she stormed out and slammed the door behind her. He didn't move.

Lily sat up. "James, you should go after her."

He shook his head. "I don't want to."

Lily smiled discreetly, then laid back down. "I don't want you to either." James' heart felt like it was going to burst out his chest. He pulled Lily in close, and closed his eyes.

They talked for a while about their fears and what might happen in the next year, but eventually Lily drifted off to sleep, and James listened to the sound of her breathing. He closed his own eyes, but didn't sleep. He was going to enjoy every moment of this.

A while later Remus and Sirius came back into the room and saw the two of them, laying on James' bed, intertwined. Remus' eyebrows shot up and he mouthed something that James couldn't make out. He shook his head and waved them away. Sirius snickered, and they both left again. Lily stirred, and James kissed her forehead. She fell back asleep, and James stared at the ceiling of his four poster bed.

Just friends.


	22. Tonight's The Full Moon

James hadn't actually addressed the issue, but he assumed he and Lydia were now broken up.

He felt bad. She was a nice girl, but she really did it to herself. However, James had to admit that finding your boyfriend cuddling with the girl he has publicly announced his love for in an empty dorm is pretty damning.

The worst part of the situation was that Lily hadn't addressed the issue either. He thought that after what she said, she was thinking about dating him. It was almost like she was keeping him at arm's length. He was disappointed. He wasn't assuming that she was going to jump in his arms and confess her never-ending love for him, but he didn't think she would start avoiding him, either. Anytime they were in the common room she would make up an excuse and leave, and she barely said more than what was necessary in Potions and Defense. It was driving him mad.

A few days after that encounter, Lily was sitting in her dorm, absentmindedly doodling on a scrap piece of parchment. She felt horrible about what had happened with Lydia and James. She was stupid, making James stay with her instead of pushing him to follow her.

 _But he wanted to stay_ , a voice in her head said.

She didn't know what to do. She knew there were rumors about her being a "boyfriend stealer" all across Hogwarts, which was unoriginal, untrue, and completely and totally stupid. She was trying not to add fuel to the fire by being only cordial with James and nothing more.

Marlene, Mary and Alice were right, they had been all over each other for the past five months. But it wasn't her fault everyone thought it was romantic. She had just as much physical contact with her other friends. Though James was attractive and well-muscled and they fit together perfectly, she mused.

She stopped. Where did that come from?

She was being ridiculous. She and James were friends, and she wasn't going to date him. Not now, not ever. He was a good friend and there was no sense in ruining that over a relationship that probably wouldn't survive the year.

She shook her head and stood up. She had to go meet Mary in the library.

Exams were rapidly approaching and Lily was ill-prepared. They were still four weeks out, but there was so much material she needed to cover that she needed to start as soon as possible to ensure she had enough time to get through it all.

She was sitting in the common room, writing an essay for Potions. She should have started it earlier, but with everything that had been going on, she completely forgot.

There was another attack in London, killing fourteen Muggles. It shook her to her core. It was in broad daylight, and it was violent. They exploded the building with Fiendfyre and killed anyone who tried to escape. It was utterly brutal. The Dark Mark was seen overhead, and it took all of Lily's restraint to not duel Snape and the others in the corridors when she saw them. She knew in due time they would get what was coming. If Voldemort could kill with impunity, he would turn on any of them just as easily. She wouldn't be surprised if he killed one of his own followers, even if they were the most dedicated. There was no loyalty or compassion left in him.

In addition to that, everyone had been whispering behind her back about how she "stole" James, which was ridiculous because she had barely seen him over the past week or so. They were both keeping their distance, each one knowing that it was best. It was frustrating to her that this was a concern when people were dying in broad daylight.

And lastly, on top of everything, the teachers had assigned double the amount of homework they normally had. This had cut cut into Lily's time severely. Every day for the past week she went to class, then to the library, and then to bed.

She kept working for a while, and she looked up to see Remus come in. He looked worn out.

He slid onto the couch next to her. "Hey, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"I was just wondering if you had my dose of potion today?" He asked, not meeting her eye.

Her stomach plummeted. "Oh, my god." She felt the guilt fill her up and make her stomach turn. "Remus, I am so so sorry. With everything that happened I forgot, I'm so sorry, I don't have any, I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it won't be a bad transformation." He saw her face. "Really, Lils, don't worry about it. I can't expect you to be at my beck and call every month. You've been going through a lot."

"That's no excuse, Remus, I'm so sorry." She felt sick.

"It's okay." He leaned over and hugged her. "I have to go meet Madam Pomfrey. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry."

"Please don't worry about it," Remus said, he turned and left, and she sat there, feeling like the worst person in the entire world.

James came bounding down the staircase and waved at her. He started to head towards the portrait hole, but Lily called out after him. "James, where are you going? It's almost curfew!"

He grinned, "Just managing some mischief."

She frowned. "Don't get caught. And be safe." He grinned again and slipped out of the portrait hole.

She picked up her book again, a nagging anxiety working at her gut.

"Ready?" James asked, crouching low near the base of the Whomping Willow.

"Yeah, moon's almost up," Sirius said back. He nodded and they crawled into the tunnel down to the door.

They waited for a moment, assuming the silence meant Remus had already transformed. James pushed open the door.

They were wrong.

Remus was violently convulsing on the floor, his legs breaking to extend to wolf form, claws exploding from his fingers, hair sprouting everywhere.

James, now in his stag form, looked over at Sirius, who had fear in his large, dog eyes. Peter had already scurried out of the room and fled up the tunnel.

The wolf stopped moving for a second, and James thought he might be okay. Then, he turned on them and pounced on James, his claws striking his shoulder. Blood gushed out and James yelped, jumping back.

This wolf was no longer Remus. He bucked him off and pushed him back with antlers. He jumped through the open window, and the wolf followed, tailed by Sirius. The wolf snarled and chased him, and James turned around to face him. He knew that the he just needed to remember his scent. He tried to pounce on him again, but James evaded. James bleated at him, begging him to stop.

Sirius came trotting up, and rubbed against the wolf. The wolf turned and sniffed Sirius. James breathed a sigh of relief; it seemed that he had recognized him. He was wrong again. The wolf viciously bit Sirius on the flank, and Sirius kicked him in the face.

James charged him, attempting to throw him off of Sirius. The wolf ducked under him and scratched his thigh. He kicked him, and the wolf yelped.

James ran several paces to the left, standing ready for what he might do next. He looked around. Peter was nowhere to be found. Bloody coward.

The wolf jumped onto Sirius again, pinning him to the ground. James ran towards him, and he jumped off, but he turned and slammed into James. James fell onto his shoulder, and white bursts of pain erupted through his body.

He stood up, limping. The wolf had taken the opportunity to run towards the forest, and James struggled to follow him.

When he arrived, the wolf was sniffing along the tree line. He looked back and snarled. James looked into his eyes, trying to convey that he was a friend. The wolf looked back at him, and slowly walked forward. James tried not to brace himself, to show any sign that he was anything but a friend. The wolf circled him, sniffing. He finally recognized the scent, and bounded around him in circles. James was relieved, but also pissed. He couldn't have recognized them before he tried to break his shoulder?

Sirius ran up, blood spilling out over his face from a gash above his eye. He shook his head and small red droplets flew to the ground and some flecked onto James' hide. The wolf did the same thing and sniffed Sirius up and down. He determine that he, too, was a friend, and accepted them.

They ran around the forest for a few hours, James wary of any change in the wolf's behavior. He was confused though. Wasn't the potion supposed to calm Remus and make sure he didn't do things like this? What happened to him?

They weaved their way in and out of the trees, the wolf sniffing and occasionally chasing after something. James tried to keep up, but his shoulder was still on fire, and he had a gash on his back leg that spurted blood with every step.

He pushed through the pain and trotted after them. Sirius was sitting off to the side, licking the place where the wolf had bit him, and the wolf himself was tearing into a rabbit he had caught.

James wrinkled his nose. Remus was not going to be happy about that tomorrow. He tried to lay down, but bending his legs sent jolts of pain through him, so he awkwardly leaned against a tree, watching the wolf.

It finished the rabbit and ran off again. The pair followed him, several paces behind. They were getting deep into the forest and there was barely any light coming in through the expansive canopy of the trees above them. James bleated, attempting to signal that they should turn back. He and Sirius tried to circle around him, herd him back to the tree line. The wolf howled and snarled, jumping onto a rock.

He looked up at the moon barely peeking through a space in the trees and howled.

 _How cliché_ , James thought.

Sirius barked at him, and the wolf jumped back down off of the rock and followed them. It took them more than an hour to find their way out of the forest, but they eventually emerged near Hagrid's cabin. The moon was beginning its descent in the sky, and James and Sirius coaxed the wolf back into the shack, with extreme difficulty. It earned James several more gashes and bruises, and he felt like he might collapse.

They eventually forced him back into the room and made sure he was secured. They transformed back into themselves and crawled out of the tunnel, headed for the castle. They both were limping, and James' arm was hanging limply at a weird angle.

"What the bloody fuck was that?" Sirius asked. James shook his head. Sirius was much less beat up than James. "I have the map. I'm going to track down Peter and make sure he didn't get eaten by an owl or something, the damn coward."

James nodded and slowly began walking up the staircases towards the tower. He couldn't even find the energy to respond.

Fuck the Founders for making the dorms a million stairs above the ground. Every step he took sent shockwaves through his body, and he had to stop several times, gripping the banister until his knuckles went white.

He eventually saw the portrait of the Fat Lady and almost cried out of relief. He had to wake her up and she scolded him.

"I know, I know. Just let me in alright?"

"How rude." She opened the door and climbed in. His limp leg gave out and he tripped, spilling onto the common room floor.

He felt like every piece of his body was on fire. "Fucking shit bloody fuck! Oh, Merlin's left nut," he cried, laying on the floor pathetically.

"James?"

He jumped at the noise and looked up at the shadowy figure above him. Lily was standing over him with a confused and worried expression on her face.

"What are you doing up?" James asked, attempting to stand up, but falling over onto Lily during the process.

Lily caught him and clumsily helped him limp over to the couch. "Working on that Charms essay." He sat down. "Where have you been?" He looked up at her and she gasped as the firelight illuminated the bruises and cuts on his face. "Have you been fighting? I swear to Merlin if you were out all night fighting some stupid Slytherin, I'll give you detention for a year."

"Come on Lils, I wasn't fighting." He gasped as she sat down next to him, the movement jostling his body and sending shooting pain throughout it.

"Why are you so beat up?" She asked. She looked him up and down. There was blood gushing from a gash on his shoulder, creating a dark stain on his t-shirt. His arms were covered in bruises, and she was sure the rest of him was as well.

"It's nothing, honestly." He looked at the table in front of him. "If you're working on the Charms essay, where is it?"

She avoided his gaze, "Well I had just uh, I went to go get-"

He smiled. "Were you waiting up for me?"

Lily grimaced. "Yes." He winked at her and she scowled. "Can you blame me? There's been attacks every week, there are Death Eaters in the castle, who knows what-"

"Shhh," James interrupted, "It's sweet, thank you." He made a move to grab her hand but yelped in pain when his shoulder felt like it had been set on fire.

"James, are you hurt? I can fix it."

He grit his teeth, "Really it's nothing, don't worry."

"Take off your shirt."

"Trying to get me into bed, Lil's? Scandalous." He grinned at her, despite the pain radiating from every bone in his body.

She glared at him. "Shut up prat, and take off your shirt."

He obliged, but had to be helped by her. She eased it off of his left arm, then delicately pulled it over his right, moving slowly to not jostle his arm too much. She gasped when she saw the damage.

"James!"

"Lily!"

"You look like you were someone's punching bag. What were you doing?" She asked, gingerly reaching out to touch some of the bruises that circled his right arm.

James sucked in air as she did that, even her slight touch sending new pain waves throughout his body, "Look, are you going to fix it or just poke me all day?" He didn't mean to be so short with her.

"Yes, hold still." She started murmuring incantations and waving her wand. She had him lean forward, despite the pain. She moved her wand along his back, watching the bruises fade from his taut muscles.

No. Not taut muscles. Bruised muscles. Damaged muscles. Once his back was cleared, she had him lay back against the cushions and she worked on his abdomen. His abs clenched as she vanished the bruises, and a deep moan escaped his lips.

His eyes shot open, looking at Lily. "I'm sorry. That was involuntary." She giggled and nodded, though James was mortified.

She looked him up and down, and saw his broad chest muscles rising and falling with his labored breaths. She tried not to look at him too much, but he was just so… chiseled.

 _Don't do that_ , she told herself.

Eventually, the bruises on his torso had faded. She looked at his right arm. There were large, purple bruises surrounding the entire joint. She knew what she had to do.

"James, your shoulder is dislocated. I have to pop it back into place."

He nodded, trying to remain stoich despite his fear. "Yeah." He nodded again. She grabbed his shoulder and his arm. "Yeah, okay just give me a warn-OH MY FUCKING MERLIN COCKSUCKING BOLLOCKS!" He exclaimed as she aggressively pushed the joint back into place.

She laughed and kissed his shoulder lightly. "A kiss for you boo-boo, you big baby." She started waving her wand over the mangled shoulder, fixing the torn muscles and bruises.

"I'm not a baby! You could have killed me!" He exclaimed.

She set her wand down and patted his shoulder. "There. All better."

He rolled his shoulder back and forth. It was back to normal, no pain left whatsoever. He smiled. "Thank you." She nodded, looking down.

He hesitated, not wanting to ask what he was about to ask. "Actually, Lily?"

She pulled her head back up, as she was accidently looking at his abs. She hoped he didn't notice. "Yeah?"

"I hate to ask this but, there's a pretty sizeable gash on my leg and some more bruises, would you mind-"

"Drop 'em, Potter."

He laughed nervously and ruffled his hand through his hair. "What?"

She laughed at his face. "Just take off your trousers, James. I'll see what I can do."

He slowly undid his belt and slid his trousers down his hips. He could feel the wet stain on his pant leg, the dark blood spreading over his thigh. His leg was still bleeding, and there was dried blood crusted in his leg hair.

Lily knelt down beside his leg and looked over the damage. It was a deep gash on his thigh, well into the muscle. She slowly started moving her wand, delicately repairing the torn muscles, working her way up to the skin.

She had to hold his leg steady, so she placed her hand a few inches above the gash, sliding the hem of his boxers up slightly. Lily was pointedly not looking further up his leg, but he gasped and she looked up at him. He shook his head, and she nodded, going back to her work.

Unfortunately, she accidentally looked right at the only place still covered by his boxers, before quickly ducking her head and blushing profusely.

James was pointedly not looking at her, thinking about anything else. He had imagined this fantasy a million times, Lily being his nurse, fixing him up after some battle, having passionate sex afterwards.

Her hand slid further up his thigh. She was already a couple of inches under the hem of his boxers, dangerously close to-

 _Sirius' mum. House elves. Dirty socks. Anything._

Something twinged and he gasped, which cause Lily to look up at him. Ah fuck,. Her big green eyes looking up at him, her on her knees, lightly rubbing his inner thigh.

 _No. The giant squid. Dumbledore. Snape's greasy hair._ He breathed deeply. He watched her for a second. She looked down, and he saw her eyes trace over his abdomen, and then pause for a moment over his boxers.

Was that deliberate?

No, no, no. Sirius' hairy arse. Peter eating with his mouth open. Filch. Filch Filch Filch. He took a deep breath, calming down.

He looked back down at her, and she had ducked her head, but he could see she was blushing.

She massaged his leg, making sure the muscle felt whole again, then cleaned up some of the blood. He was intently watching the fire, trying not to think about her hands working the muscle of his upper thigh.

She cleared her throat. "Well, you're all fixed, I think." She stood up and sat back on the couch. He nodded and hastily pulled his trousers back on, then his shirt.

He took her hand. "Thank you." She nodded sheepishly, and he ran a hand through his hair.

"You know I would always help you, James," she said quietly, looking at her hands.

He used the hand not holding hers to cup her chin, bringing her gaze back to him. "I know. Thank you."

She stared deeply into his eyes and he into hers. She watched the firelight dancing in his eyes, and leaned forward.

James' mind was racing. Was she leaning in? He leaned in.

They were centimeters apart. He could feel her breath. She closed her eyes, and he closed his, moving closer to close the gap.

"Wait."

James almost fell over into her, as she had pulled back. Maybe he misinterpreted what she was doing. "What?"

"Tonight is the full moon," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

His heart started beating even faster. He ran his hand through his hair. "What do you mean?"

"What were doing out on the full moon?" She pulled her hand away and stood up. "Why are you all beat up after spending all night God knows where, on the _full moon_ , James?

"This has nothing to do with that!" He protested.

"Then tell me what you were doing," she demanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No."

"James, do you have any idea how dangerous-"

"No Lily, my best friend is a werewolf and I had no fucking idea how dangerous it is. Please, enlighten me." He winced. He knew that wasn't the right thing to say.

She gaped at him, then huffed and headed up her staircase. He called out after her. "Wait, Lils, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" He heard the door shut behind her.

 _Ah, fuck._

* * *

Poor James.

From this chapter on, I'll be updating on Mondays and Thursdays, so, see you Thursday!


	23. Moose, Fork, or Narwhal?

Lily's mind was racing. Last night, she almost kissed James Potter.

She wanted to kiss James Potter.

She ascended the staircase to the boy's dorm timidly. She reached out and delicately knocked on their door, a silent prayer thumping in her head.

 _Please don't James, please don't be James, please don't-_

She sighed an audible sigh of relief when she heard Sirius' voice say she could come in. She cautiously opened the door and peeked her head in. Sirius was sitting up against the headboard of Remus' bed, his eyes half closed. Remus was laying on his side, his head in Sirius' lap. He looked deathly pale. Lily felt as nauseous as Remus looked, her guilt clenching her stomach.

He looked up when she came in, but she could tell he didn't have the energy to acknowledge her beyond that. Sirius was rubbing his back lightly as Lily came to sit on the bed too.

She held out her peace offering: a box of all of the chocolate she had left in her dorm from Christmas. Remus smiled weakly up at her. "I'm really sorry Remus. This is all my fault."

"No," he croaked, "it's nothing I can't handle. I've been transforming since I was a kid. Same as any other time."

Sirius reached forward for the box, trying not to disturb Remus' head. He grabbed a chocolate frog from inside it, unwrapped it, and handed it to Remus. Sirius helped him sit up and he reclined against the pillows against the headboard, his head against Sirius' shoulder.

He chewed the chocolate frog quietly. Some, though not much, color returning to his cheeks.

"I'll take notes for you today," she said. Remus looked like he might refuse, but then nodded.

"I'll need a copy of those too, love," Sirius said, grinning at her as he wrapped his arm around Remus and pulled him in closer.

"You're perfectly functional, why aren't you going to class?" She asked.

He brought his free hand to his chest in mock offense. "Evans, I am his _nurse_. Would you have me abandon him in his time of need?"

She rolled her eyes and grinned at them. "No, I don't suppose I could." She looked at Remus one more time before standing up. "Later I'll sneak down to the kitchens and get every last thing made of chocolate."

Remus nodded, his eyes drooping. She left, quietly closing the door behind her.

Lily slipped into Potions right as Slughorn was standing up. James gave her a quizzical look, and she quickly looked the other way.

They brewed in silence, James delicately chopping ingredients, afraid of any misstep. He kept stealing glances at her, and she was deliberately staring into the cauldron, not looking at him.

She sat back on her stool and let the potion simmer. She discreetly looked over at James, and they made eye contact. They both looked away.

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

"What?" James did not expect that.

"I'm sorry," she said, a little louder.

"Why are you sorry? I was the one that snapped at you."

"I shouldn't have been prying. I know you know," she paused and looked around, "about _that_ , and I shouldn't have been so condescending." She was blushing hard.

She also wanted to say she was sorry that she almost kissed him, but maybe he didn't even notice. Maybe he thought she was leaning in to look at a bruise on his face. Or something.

"It's fine. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just can't tell you about _that_ ," he said, running a hand through his hair and looking at his knife.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

They both sat in silence for the rest of the period. James' mind was running wild.

 _He was getting excited again. Calm down. It was nothing. If it was something she would have actually kissed you._ His breath was erratic. He looked over at Lily, but she didn't seem to notice. She was counting her stirs and watching the potion.

The rest of the day dragged on. Finally they all were dismissed from Defense, and he all but sprinted back to the tower. As soon as he was back in the dorm, he shouted, "Lily almost kissed me last night."

Peter choked on air. "What?"

Sirius wolf whistled, and Remus laughed at him, looking much better than when he saw him this morning. There was also a large abundance of candy wrappers, napkins, and plates (not to mention chocolate stains) populating his bed. "Almost? What happened?"

James started. "I was coming back from outside, and I was um, pretty beat up." Remus looked down. He had already apologized profusely for everything that happened last night. No matter how many times they said it wasn't his fault, he couldn't believe them.

He resumed his story. "So she was waiting up for me. Because she was worried about me." He grinned. "Then, she saw I had some bruises, so she told me to take off my shirt so she could heal them."

Sirius whistled again. "Ooh, Prongs, she wants you."

"Shut up." He continued. "Anyways, so she's fixing everything and she's like, rubbing my chest and looking me up and down." He smiled again. "Then I uh, I asked her if she would take a look at my leg, since it had a gash on it. And she said, 'Drop your trousers, Potter'."

"She said that?" Peter asked, incredulously. James nodded.

"So I'm sitting there in nothing but my boxers, and she's healing the gash, and she has her hand on my upper thigh, really close to-" he hesitated, "you know. And then she looked up at me, and then slowly looked down my body, paused on my crotch, and then looked down blushing."

"Wow," Remus said, "That's not like Lily at all."

"I know." He sat down on his bed. "So then I put my clothes back on, and she sits next to me, and she looks at me, and then leans in to kiss me. We're like right about to kiss when she pulls away and tells me it's the full moon."

Remus looked at him. "What?"

"She asked what I was doing out on the full moon. I said it had nothing to do with you, and she asked if I knew how dangerous it was, and I said of course I know how dangerous it was, and then she got mad and left." He groaned and laid back on his bed.

"Damn," Sirius said.

"I know." He sat up again on his elbows. "Do you think I should do anything about it? Should I ask her out?"

Peter shook his head. "I don't think so. I think you should probably let her come to you."

"She's not a cat, Wormtail," Sirius scoffed.

"He's got a point, James," Remus said. "She's been warming up to you this year, and you don't want to push her away by immediately asking her out."

"But she tried to kiss me!" James protested. Remus shrugged. James groaned and flopped down again. "You lot are no help."

"Do you think she knows about us?" Sirius asked. Remus shrugged wearily.

"Should we tell her about us?" Peter asked, nervously looking at the three of them.

"She already knows about me," Remus said. "And we know she wouldn't tell anyone. She's good at keeping secrets." James thought he saw Remus and Sirius exchange a look. What secret could they have that didn't involve him?

"She could get mad at us," James said quietly.

"Well we just tell her that we did it for Moony. She's breaking school rules to help him too," Peter said.

"Yeah, but we're committing a crime," Sirius corrected.

"I don't think it would be that bad," James said. He might actually like to tell her. She would know more about him than anyone else, besides his best friends.

"I trust her enough, I think," Peter said. James nodded at him and looked at Sirius, who shrugged.

"I do, too." Sirius laughed. "That doesn't mean she won't murder us. I can just see it now. 'You could have died! What would you have done if you had gotten stuck as a dog, huh?" He raised the pitch of his voice and impersonated Lily, hand on his hip, wagging a finger at her.

They all laughed, since they knew it was spot on. James laid back and thought about she might react. Maybe she would be impressed by his magical ability. She would know it was to help Remus, and she couldn't get mad about that.

Lily stood in the common room, waiting for Remus. They had patrols tonight, which Lily was dreading. She was tired from not sleeping at all two nights ago, and from barely sleeping last night, because she was thinking about two nights ago.

He came down the staircase and she smiled at him. They stepped out into the corridor and began taking a lap around that floor.

"James told me what happened," Remus said quietly.

"Oh, my god." Of course he did. She was mortified, and he just had to go tell her friends about it.

"Were you really going to kiss him?"

Fuck. He knew she was trying to kiss him. "No." He looked at her skeptically. "Okay, I was, but it was a momentary lapse in judgement. It meant nothing." She turned to face him. "What I want to know, is why your friends are out getting beat up on a day that just so _happens_ to be the full moon."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do."

Remu sighed and rubbed his face. Lily thought he looked like he could be fifty years old. Not in an aged way, but just the way his eyes were set. How his eyes conveyed years of trauma, all without saying a word. She almost regretted asking him. "You have to promise not to tell anyone," he started, wearily.

She stopped. She wasn't actually expecting to get information out of him.

"I'm only telling you this because I know that Sirius and I would trust you with our lives, and James probably would, too. So would Peter." She nodded and he sighed. "They're going to kick my ass for this. I bet James would want to tell you himself and brag about it." He looked at the ground and mumbled "James, Sirius, and Peter all became Animagi to help my transformations."

She blinked. Of all of the things he could have said, she never would have guessed this. "What?"

"Every full moon they transform with me and we go out into the forest so that I don't scratch or hurt myself. The reason why they were so beat up is because without the potion I didn't recognize them, and we fought."

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say.

"We found out that werewolves can't hurt or change other animals, so as long as they stay in their forms, I can't hurt them too badly," he said quietly.

"I can't believe that they pulled off that kind of magic." She thought for a minute. "That's insanely advanced." Remus nodded. She turned around and retraced their steps. "I have to talk to James."

"Now?"

"It's fine, I'm not going to get them in trouble." She walked faster and climbed through the portrait hole after giving the password. She sprinted up the stairs and burst into the boy's dorm.

Sirius was laying on his bed, flipping through the catalogue Lily got him for Christmas. James was reading, dressed only in his boxers. Did that boy ever wear clothing? She could hear the water running in the bathroom and assumed Peter was in the shower.

James looked up at her. "Lily?"

She crossed the room in three steps and stood over him. "You became an illegal Animagi?" James sat up, about to say something but she started smacking him on the arms. "You could have died, you could have been caught, you could have-" She was cut off by Sirius wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up so she couldn't reach James anymore.

She started smacking his arms instead. "And you! You too! You all could have been sent to Azkaban! What if Snape saw you? Or anyone else? What if McGonagall found out?"

James stood up and held her hands so she was weaponless. "Moony told you?"

Lily's mouth dropped open. "Your nicknames are references to your illegal Animagi? You just casually joke about you becoming unregistered Animagi at the age of-" she thought for a minute. "You all have been calling each other those nicknames since fifth year! You all became Animagi at 16?"

"15," James said, grinning. This was not the right answer. Lily kicked against Sirius and jumped down.

"That doesn't make it better you prat! You could have DIED, James!" She said hands on her hips, staring up at him.

"We had to do it, Lils," he said quietly.

Lily opened her mouth to continue, but stopped. She realized they weren't doing it to be cool, or to run around the Hogwarts grounds. They were doing it only to help Remus. She sighed. "You are a moron, James. A selfless, incredible, brave, moron."

Sirius hugged her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Do you want to guess what we are?"

She rolled her eyes. "You couldn't have come up with anything better than Moony?" James grinned. She sat down on his bed and looked at them both. "Sirius. You're Padfoot. Pads on their feet, what animal has pads on their- a dog!" Sirius nodded and then went to sit on his bed.

She looked up at James. "Prongs. Something that has prongs. A fork?" she joked. James shook his head and sat down next to her. "Well, Wormtail. Something that has a worm-like tail?" He nodded. "A worm?"

"No."

She thought for a moment, thinking about what animals all had tails. All animals had bushy and furry tails except for a few. "A mouse?"

"Close. A rat." He looked at her expectantly.

She studied him. Prongs. What has prongs? "A porcupine?"

Sirius snorted from his bed. James frowned. "No, something much more majestic."

"A narwhal?"

"Lily do you think I would be transforming into a fucking narwhal on Hogwarts grounds?"

She frowned. "Right." She thought again. Prongs. "Prongs like, antlers?" He nodded. "So a moose? A deer?"

He laughed and patted her on the back. "Close enough. I'm a stag."

"Oh a stag, how fancy," Lily commented, poking him in the side.

Sirius laughed. "You should see him run, he's not fancy."

Lily laughed at that and James pouted. She looked him up and down. She could see him being a stag. "What would I be?"

"What's your Patronus?" James asked. He laid back on his bed horizontally, his long legs still touching the ground.

She bit her lip. "I don't know, I haven't ever done one."

He reached out and grabbed her hand, cautiously intertwining their fingers. "I could show you."

She looked at his smile and chuckled. "Really?" He nodded and she smiled back at him. She would love to know what her Patronus is. They probably should have learned last year, but their teacher was a useless ministry official that did nothing but made them write essays.

She mused about casting a Patronus. What would she be? She hoped something cool, like a lion or a tiger. She smiled at the thought. She was probably a porcupine. She looked back at James, who was stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

She suddenly realized how they were positioned. She stood up abruptly and cleared her throat, dropping his hand. "Remus and I have to get back to patrols."

She left the room quickly. Sirius burst out laughing. "Did I call it, or did I call it?" He mimicked her again and James laughed, though not genuinely. "Bloody brilliant I am. I could be a seer."

He nodded, then frowned. It seemed like every time they got close, she ran off. Even in Potions she sat at the very end of the table. He knew he shouldn't be pushing her, but he knew that there was something between.

She had tried to kiss him. Anytime she was sad or happy, she came to him and told him everything. Any time they touched, it was so natural that she didn't seem to notice, then when she did she stopped it.

He sighed. He didn't know what to do. He was afraid of Peter said: that he might scare her off if he addressed it directly. She was probably also afraid to get involved with him so shortly after the Lydia fiasco. He hadn't thought about that. Maybe she also didn't want to prove Will right.

Or maybe, she thought that he wasn't serious about her. Maybe she thought that she would be like his last two girlfriends that barely lasted a few months. He shook his head. If Lily agreed to be with him, it would be for life.

He was conflicted. Should he wait and let her sort things out for herself, or should he go for it? Knowing Lily, even if she did like him she would be too stubborn to admit it. She probably didn't want to make it seem like she finally gave into his incessant pushing.

He didn't know what to do.


	24. A Perfect Match

It was the last week of class before exams. Lily had been studying furiously for the past two weeks. She knew every teacher had saved the hardest tasks for last. Slughorn was going to have them brew Veritaserum, they had to produce corporeal Patronuses in Defense, and Transfiguration required them to transform themselves into animals.

She scoffed at that. Of course James would get off easy.

She had been trying not to spend so much time with James. In her grief over Anna and her surprise about them becoming Animagi, she had let herself get too attached to him.

She didn't want to lead him on. She didn't want to be more than friends with him, because she was scared of what might happen. What if they started dating and then they broke up? She had no doubt the rest of the Marauders would take his side and she would lose three of her best friends.

Not to mention they had a whole year ahead of them, and if they broke up it would be relentlessly awkward to see him every day. It was stupid to be anything but friends at this point. She found him attractive, yes, but that meant nothing. She found lots of people attractive.

She also didn't need to be worrying about another relationship, or what Hogwarts might think of this one. She needed to focus on her exams and go into her final year prepared for her N.E.W.T.s.

Marlene tapped her on the shoulder and asked her what time it was. She looked at her watch. "It's 4:30."

She nodded and looked back down at her book. Lily could tell she wanted to leave, but she wanted to finish this chapter of her Transfiguration book, then practice the actual spell later on.

They were sitting at a table in the back of the library, hidden in the shadows. Lily focused intently on her book, trying to push her other thoughts out of her head.

James was on the other side of the library, attempting to do the same. He kept looking up at Lily.

He knew he wasn't getting anywhere with her. It stung, but he was trying not to push her or pressure her into anything. He knew she must be stressed with exams coming up, and he didn't want to upset her.

But getting together didn't have to be stressful. It would be the same as it always is, except maybe some light snogging here and there. He smiled to himself. Maybe more than light snogging.

He watched her for a few moments. Her brow was furrowed and she was staring intently at her book. She sat up straight, then whispered something to Marlene. He watched them get up to leave. He followed them, jogging lightly out of the room into the corridor behind them. "Hey guys, wait up!"

Marlene turned around and waved. "Hey, James. Were you working in the library too?" He looked at Lily and she looked down at her shoes.

He looked back up at Marlene and nodded. "Yeah, I was trying to figure out the vinegar to wine spell. I keep getting this weird brown sludge instead of wine." He looked sideways at Lily, hoping she might offer to help.

"Oh Lily mastered that years ago, she can help you!" Marlene said, and Lily looked at her, trying to silently communicate. Marlene looked back at her, obviously not understanding her meaning. Lily groaned internally. Marlene was never good at picking up signals.

"If you want I can help you with your Patronus, Lils," James said quietly. She looked back up at him and he smiled.

She nodded and looked down again. "Thank you." He nodded back, and they walked down to dinner. They were silent as they walked down the corridor, both stealing glances at the other, hoping the other wouldn't notice.

They got to the Great Hall, where the other sixth year Gryffindors were already seated. James sat on the opposite side of Lily, and neither talked during the meal. They both listened to their friends stressing about exams, talking about summer plans, but neither contributed.

Before everyone was finished Lily got up slowly and announced that she was going back to the common room to study. She climbed out of the bench and turned to walk away.

James stood up too. "Can I come with you?" She nodded, not meeting his eye.

They walked out of the hall together and up the staircase. James cleared his throat. "Studying going well for you?" She nodded. "Are you ready for exams?" She nodded again. He sighed.

They reached the tower and he gave the password, holding it open for Lily.

She stepped inside and set her bag down on the table, pulling out her wand. She looked up at James, who also had pulled out his wand.

"Do you want to start on Patronuses?" He asked. She nodded sheepishly. She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of him. He nodded at her, "Go ahead."

She stepped a few paces away from him and closed her eyes. She thought about receiving her O.W.L.s this past summer. She breathed deeply, then said, "Expecto Patronum!"

A silver wisp leaked out of her wand, and took the shape of a thin and flimsy shield. She was immediately disappointed as it evaporated away quickly. She frowned and looked down at the ground.

"What was your memory?" James asked quietly.

She frowned and bit the inside of her cheek. "Getting my O.W.L.s."

"That's a pretty good one, but it needs to be stronger than that," he said.

She nodded and thought hard. She thought about getting sorted into Gryffindor and tried again. It was almost there. It stayed for longer than a few moments, but it still didn't morph into an animal. She scowled.

She thought again about a happy memory.

"I think you're almost there. Just try to find a really good memory, or even a feeling."

She nodded and looked up at him. He was grinning, his glasses askew, running a hand through his stupid hair again. She smiled and shook her head.

She thought of the day when McGonagall came to tell her she was witch. She let the memory envelop her in that happy moment, remembering her awe at McGonagall's robes, her excitement when she showed McGonagall what she could do. She opened her eyes and right before she cast the spell she saw James' crooked grin flashing at her. Her heart started fluttering, and she grinned back at him before yelling "Expecto Patronum!"

A large figure burst out of her wand. She was so surprised she almost dropped her wand. "Oh!" James laughed and turned around to watch the figure run around the room. It jumped around, leaving a silver streak behind it as it went along. Lily watched, enraptured. "What is it?"

James' heart stopped. "It's a doe." He turned back around and looked at her. "It's a doe," he said again. She nodded, though she wasn't looking at him. She was watching the figure move through the room.

His heart was pounding. His palms were sweating and his breath was erratic. Their Patronuses were perfect matches for each other.

Literal soul mates.

She lowered her wand and the doe faded away. She smiled back up at him. "I did it."

He nodded and moved closer to her, looking down at her big eyes. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in, leaning down. He made contact with the top of her head, which he did not expect. She had turned her head abruptly, and her cheek pressed into his chest. She hugged him and laughed. "Thank you."

He pulled away and frowned at her, but then nodded. "Just keep practicing. Make sure you have a solid memory in case you ever need to produce a Patronus when there are actual dementors around." She nodded and he cleared his throat.

"Ready to work on yours?" She asked, sitting down at the table. He nodded and sat down across from her. She conjured a glass of vinegar and set it in front of him. "The trick is in the wand movement."

He twirled his wand around the glass, thinking the spell. It was supposed to be nonverbal. The vinegar turned a shade darker, but was nowhere near wine. He looked up at her and she smiled, nodding at him. He tried again.

Lily watched him, not focusing on what he was doing. Didn't he say his patronus was a stag? Aren't stags and does mates? Two halves of one whole?

She furrowed her brow. That didn't mean anything. She was sure plenty of people had stags as their Patronuses, it didn't mean they were destined for each other. There aren't an infinite amount of animals in the world, there has to be some overlap. It didn't mean anything.

James was waving his wand, but he couldn't focus. He kept looking at Lily, who was deep in thought. Did she not realize what this meant?

Their Patronuses, the embodiment of who they were in their souls were a perfect match. She had to realize that this meant something. He watched her picking at her nails and not meeting his eye. If this wasn't a sign that they were meant to be together, then what was?

"James?"

He looked up, his heart fluttering. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you stop?"

He was not expecting that. He realized he had stopped trying to transform the wine. "Oh." he took a deep breath. "I was just, just thinking."

"Me too."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "About what?"

She looked up at him, but then immediately averted her gaze. "Nothing." She sat up straighter and looked at the glass in front of them. "So, I think you're not concentrating hard enough on the spell when you think it."

James heart sank. He nodded. "Yeah, I'll try to focus more." He stared intently at the glass, trying not to let his concentration waver. He thought the spell and waved his wand, turning the vinegar into a medium shade of red. It wasn't perfect, but it was acceptable. He probably still wouldn't drink it, though.

"Good job," Lily said. She stood up abruptly. "Listen I have a lot of work to do, I'll see you tomorrow. Let me know if you need anymore help." She nodded, then awkwardly gathered her things and trotted up the stairs.

He nodded and watched her go, sadly. Was she ever going to realize that they were meant to be together? He slowly trudged up his own staircase and waited in his dorm for Sirius or Remus to get back.

Sirius came in a few minutes later. He saw the look on James' face. "What's up?"

"Lily's Patronus is a doe."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Really?" James nodded. "Well that's," he paused, "something."

James groaned. "She doesn't even realize. She didn't say anything, and she darted out of the room after, like always."

"Maybe she's not ready," Sirius speculated.

"Ready for what? Nothing would change! We're practically already together. She's slept in my bed for Merlin's sake," James lamented.

"There's a lot going on right now, James. Maybe just give her some time. I'm sure she'll come around."

James sighed. "Will she though? I feel like us being soulmates is a pretty damn good sign that she should come around, but here we are."

"I don't know, Prongs. I'm sure she has a reason. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"She's been avoiding me, so I can't," James explained.

"Give her time." James knew that he was right, but he was still sad nonetheless. She didn't need to be ready for anything, this wasn't a life altering decision.

They already spent their time together, they cuddled, they hugged, they talked to each other about everything. He always asked for her advice and she always ran her decisions by him.

They were a couple in all but name at this point.

He didn't understand what was holding her back. Didn't she feel the same way about him?

Lily sat at the breakfast table, absentmindedly chewing on a piece of toast. It was the last day of classes before their exams. This time of year always made her conflicted. She was happy to be done with classes, but she also dreaded going home over the summer.

She loved her mum and wanted to see her, but Petunia always made her feel unwelcome in her home. She felt like every time she went home she walked on egg shells to avoid upsetting her. She couldn't mention magic, any of her friends, or anything about her life at all.

It had gotten worse after her dad died. Her dad and her were always a team, and though Lily told him he shouldn't say it, he always told her that she was his favorite. They watched old movies and sat in his study and read books. She told him all about Hogwarts in that study, far from the judgemental ears of Petunia.

Now that he was gone though, their mother was torn between the two of them. Lily wished it wasn't like that, but magic was her entire life. She couldn't just stop being a witch for two months over the summer.

Her whole situation with James was not helping, so she chose to ignore it completely and hope that it would go away on its own. She knew that it wouldn't, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it.

She sighed. There was already enough going, and she didn't need to think about this anymore. She needed to get through her exams, and then she would worry about everything else. She looked up and saw Remus smiling up at her. She smiled back at him and they got up. The four of them walked together down to Potions.

They went down the steps, the air becoming cooler as they went below ground level into the dungeons. They were all quiet.

James and Lily brewed in silence; Lily was actively avoiding eye contact. They made it through with pretty much no talking, besides the occasional, "Can you pass me that?" Class ended and Slughorn dismissed them, reminding them to study for their exam coming up.

They walked into the Defense classroom. Everyone was already standing up, looking worried. She joined Mary and Marlene, who looked at her nervously. They hadn't been able to produce a corporeal Patronus yet. Professor Pierce swept into the room, and everyone stiffened. "Well everyone, once you all have shown me your Patronus, class will be dismissed early. Who would like to start?"

James raised his hand and she nodded at him. He stepped forward. "Expecto Patronum!" He exclaimed, and a beautiful stag burst forth, trotting around the room once. A few people gasped and James grinned. He cut off the spell and smiled back at their Professor.

She smirked and nodded back at him. He leaned against the table on the other side of the room. Sirius, Peter, and Remus all went next, each one producing a patronus easily.

Lily frowned, worried. A Ravenclaw went next, only being able to hold the charm for a few moments before it faded away.

"That's okay, Benji. Many wizards don't master it until later on in life," Professor Pierce said, marking a note on her parchment. "Who's next?"

Lily timidly raised her hand, and their professor nodded at her. She stepped forward and raised her wand. She closed her eyes for a second, thinking of her memory.

She opened her eyes and saw James smiling at her, giving her a thumbs up. "Expecto Patronum!" A silver form jumped out of her wand, and she grinned. James clapped loudly and she rolled her eyes at him.

Pierce patted her on the back. "Well done, you may go stand over there with them." She indicated the Marauders and Benji standing off to the side.

Lily nodded, and headed over to the side of the room. She leaned up against the table next to James and Remus.

He reached out to squeeze her hand. "I'm proud of you."

She smiled and squeezed hand back before sitting back up to watch the rest of the students. Marlene and Alice produced their Patronuses, and Mary did as well, though with some difficulty.

The three joined them to the side and waited until everyone was done.

"Alright everyone, well done. If you weren't able to produce a Patronus today, I encourage you to come see me in my office before next week and we can work on it together." She nodded at them and dismissed the class.

The group all walked back to Gryffindor tower together. James was frowning at the ground as they walked. Sirius noticed and looked at him.

"Seems like the universe thinks you should be together," he commented.

James nodded. "She doesn't even realize." Sirius shrugged and patted him on the shoulder. James sighed.

"I'm sure she does James. You should talk to her," Remus said from behind him. Lily had hung back to wait for Mary and Marlene, who were both talking to Professor Pierce.

"What do I say? 'Gee Lily, it seems like you're in love with me. Would you please admit it so I can finally date you?'" James scoffed. "I'm sure she'd hex me."

"Obviously not, Prongs. Maybe you should tell her how you feel, see what she says," Sirius suggested as they climbed the stairs to their room.

"But what if I just upset her before her exams? Or what if she doesn't actually feel anything for me and everything was just a coincidence? Then I've made an arse of myself for no reason, effectively ruining my friendship with her," James rambled. There were so many things that could wrong.

"I don't think it's a coincidence," Peter said quietly.

James turned to him. "Why?"

"Just, the way she talks about you, and looks at you. I think she feels something for you, she just doesn't want to admit it."

"But why, though? She knows how I feel about her. Why can't she just tell me how she feels?" James lamented. He flopped down on his bed dramatically and sighed. "Nothing has to change."

"I don't know, Prongs. She'll come around, and you can get married and have beautiful children and grow old together," Sirius said, laughing.

"Come on, Padfoot, you know we're not going to grow old," he winked, "We're going to be young forever."

* * *

Extra update this week in honor of September 1st! See you all at King's Cross, right? We're getting closer to seventh year in this fic, and you know what that means. But for now, James is hopelessly in love, and Lily is hopelessly in denial, a tale as old as time.


	25. Just Friends, Right?

Lily flopped down on the couch in the common room, Marlene sitting next to her. "One more to go."

Lily nodded. They only had their Defense final left. She didn't even feel like a person anymore. Everything was exams. She woke up, studied, took an exam, then went back to studying. She hadn't seen any of her friends except for her roommates, and that was only when they went to bed. She had taken up almost permanent residency in the library, hiding behind the stacks so no one could find her and bother her. She was avoiding everything until exams were over.

She heard the portrait hole open and she looked over the back of the couch. James stepped in. He nodded at her, and she looked away quickly. He went upstairs hastily.

Marlene looked at her. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Whatever that was between you and James. You're acting like you haven't been best friends for the past six months."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'd hardly say best friends." Marlene gave her a look. "That was nothing." She made another face. "Really! Just because he didn't stop to have a conversation doesn't mean anything. I'm sure he's tired from exams. I am too. Nothing's happening," Lily protested.

Marlene looked at her skeptically. "Yeah, alright." She stood up. "Ready to go practice for Defense?" Lily nodded and they headed upstairs to their dorm.

They practiced Shield Charms, Stunning Spells, Patronuses, and anything else they had covered in the class until their brains hurt. Lily looked at the clock. It was 3:00, which meant they had to go.

They walked down to the Great Hall together, where the tables had been cleared and stations were set up for them to be evaluated. Lily stepped forward, as she was in the first round of students to go. Marlene gave her a thumbs up and she smiled back before entering. The door closed behind her.

Professor Pierce was standing at the front of the hall, as ministry officials only came for O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. She split them off into pairs and had them dual each other, all non-verbally. Lily was paired with Benji, who was no match for her. She tried to go easy on him, but she also didn't want to sacrifice her score for the sake of his. When their professor came to watch, Lily deflected his spell with ease, making it bounce back onto him and send his wand sailing across the room.

Pierce nodded approvingly. "Well done, Miss Evans." She made a note on her clipboard, then looked up again. "Can you please produce a Patronus charm?"

Lily nodded, smiling slyly. Even though they didn't need to, she had mastered the Patronus charm nonverbally. She swished her wand and her doe jumped out, prancing around her professor once before Lily send her trotting down the length of the hall.

Pierce watched it for a moment, then turned back to Lily. "Was that nonverbal, Miss Evans?" She nodded. "Outstanding work. That is quite impressive." Lily beamed at her, then was dismissed to wait to outside.

Mary was waiting in the hallway for her. "How did it go?"

"Really well! She said it was outstanding," Lily said, smiling.

Mary groaned. "Now all of us are just going to look bad compared to you."

Lily laughed. "No you're not. You're going to do just fine. I promise." Mary nodded, then she was called in. Lily smiled and waved at her, hoping to be encouraging.

She waited outside of the Great Hall until everyone had finished. She, Marlene, Mary, and Alice all walked outside to sit on the grounds. The sun was shining and there was a cool breeze; just how Lily liked it.

They all sat down near the edge of the lake, basking in the warm sun. Lily spoke up first. "How do you all think you did?"

"I think mine went fine. I did everything she asked," Alice said. Marlene nodded in agreement.

"I couldn't produce a Patronus. I just made a shield," Mary lamented, looking down at the ground, picking at the grass and tearing off little pieces.

"I'm sure that's just fine, Mary," Lily said, "You only really need a corporeal patronus when you're fighting off a lot of dementors. If it was just one or two then that would be fine." Mary nodded weakly. "It doesn't matter now. We're done, and it's summer!" Lily exclaimed, laying back on the grass and stretching her arms out. The rest of the girls laughed. Lily smiled and closed her eyes, feeling the warm sun on her face.

"Alright, Evans?" A voice called. Lily opened one eye and saw James Potter standing over her. He was looking down, grinning, his glasses lopsided, the sun outlining his messy hair, giving him a golden halo.

Her started beating faster. "Just fine, Potter." She smiled up at him and he sat down. Remus, Peter and Sirius all sat down too. Lily sat up and moved over so that they were all sitting in a circle. "So how'd exams go?"

"Rumor is you did a nonverbal patronus," Sirius said, looking at her.

She blushed and looked down at her hands. "I wanted to impress her."

"I think you did that just fine," Remus laughed, "Nobody else could." Lily smiled back at them.

They all sat, talking until the sun began to descend, signaling that they needed to head back to the tower. Tomorrow they would be on the train home, another year at Hogwarts coming to an end.

Lily lazily levitated her suitcase down the stairs to the girls dorm into the common room. Her roommates followed behind her, their own trunks floating a few feet above the ground.

"We better get going. The train is going to leave in an hour," Lily said, looking at her watch. The girls nodded and followed her down to the entrance hall.

"What are we going to do this summer?" Marlene asked.

"I'm going to be in France all summer visiting my relatives. My mum says I need to learn French and 'experience culture'," Mary said, using air quotes. The girls laughed at that.

"Well I guess it's just us three then," Marlene said, slinging her arms around Lily and Alice. Lily leaned into her and smiled.

They reached the entrance hall where everyone was headed towards the train. Lily looked out over the sea of students, her heart sinking. She was going to miss Hogwarts this summer. Home just wasn't going to be the same.

"Promise that we'll spend so much time together this summer?" Lily asked. "I'll go mad if we don't."

Alice laughed. "We'll spend so much time together you'll be sick of us. You won't want to come back next year and room with us."

"She won't be rooming with us, because she'll be Head Girl," Marlene commented.

"Come on Marlene, you don't know that I'll be Head Girl," Lily said. Though she definitely hoped she would be. She always imagined her and Remus becoming Head Boy and Girl.

"Sure, Lily," Marlene said, laughing at the face Lily made.

They loaded their things into the carriages, Lily patting the thestral lightly on her way. She was in the hospital with her dad when he died, so she could see them. She tried to be nice to them, since she felt like they got a bad rap.

They rode down to the train, the bumpy road jostling them. The carriage ride was always quiet. She imagined that her friends were feeling the same way she was, excited about the upcoming break, but sad to leave Hogwarts. She could never imagine somewhere feeling more like a home to her than Hogwarts.

The carriage came to a stop, and they all climbed out. They loaded their things on to the train and got on. They walked down the corridor and eventually found the compartment that Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were all occupying. Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Mary all slipped in and sat down. Lily ended up sitting next to James, which she was sure was intentionally planned by the others. They were ridiculous. James smiled at her and she smiled back.

They all talked for a while about the term and upcoming summer plans. After the trolley had passed, Sirius cleared his throat. "We have something to tell you guys." Everyone looked up to see Sirius and Remus holding hands. "Remus and I are dating."

Lily smiled and James looked over at her. Marlene looked up. "I'M GAY!" Everyone looked at her suddenly. " Sorry, I just, gay! I'm gay too!"

Mary looked over at Alice. "We're becoming outnumbered." Alice snickered, then bit her cheek to stop laughing. Mary tried to stop smiling too. "Sorry. That's great, I'm happy for you guys."

Remus was looking at his shoes, but then looked up again. "So are you guys, are you guys okay? With, with it?"

"Of course we are!" Peter exclaimed from his corner. "I haven't walked in on Padfoot snogging any random birds this entire year, and if that's your doing then I'm more than fine with it." Sirius flashed him a grin and Peter nodded back.

Sirius laughed, the noise filling the cabin. Everyone joined in. He stopped though, looking at everyone. "You guys really don't have a problem with it?" They all exchanged looks, nodding. He sat back down, smiling. "I really appreciate it guys. We were," he grabbed Remus' hand again, "we were really scared to tell people. We know Hogwarts students aren't the most forgiving," there was a murmur of agreement, "and it just means a lot to us that you're accepting us."

Mary spoke up. "We're friends, Sirius. Friends stick by each other. And trust me, there are worse things to be than gay."

"Yeah, you could have told us you're Death Eaters," Alice chimed in. "I would much rather you tell us that you're in love with Remus."

"Well we haven't actually-" Remus began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"You're right. I love Remus."

Remus looked at him, surprised. "I love you too, Sirius." Sirius leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. Remus leaned in and laid his head on chest, hugging him. Everyone "awwed", causing to Remus to smile shyly.

Alice turned to face Marlene. "So about _you_ being gay-"

"Is that the trolley?" Marlene asked. Alice gave her an exasperated look. Some of them stood up to snag some food before it passed by.

James sat back, stretching. He stretched his arms over the back of the seats. Lily, without thinking, leaned against him, and he wrapped his arm around her. Everyone in the compartment shared a knowing look, but nobody said anything. Before they knew it they were pulling up on King's Cross and the train came to a halt. They all gathered their things and exited the compartment onto the platform.

Immediately James spotted his parents, who were waving. Sirius and Remus walked ahead to meet them. James hung back for a second. He looked at Lily, then back at his parents, then back at Lily. She was starting to head out to the Muggle platform, but he caught up to her.

"Hey."

She smiled up at him. "Hey."

He ran his hand through his hair and grinned. "So, would you maybe want to visit this summer?" Lily nodded. "Great, we can have everyone come 'round and spend some time together." He reached out and grabbed her hand.

She looked down at his hand, then back at his toothy grin. "James," she started.

"Yeah?" He ruffled his hair again. His heart was beating against his chest.

"We're just," she frowned, "we're just friends. You know that right?"

James' stomach dropped, but he kept the grin plastered on his face. "Right, of course. I meant we could all spend time together. As friends."

She nodded and hugged him. "I'll see you soon." He rested his chin on her head until she pulled away. He watched her exit the platform, then turned and walked back to where his parents, Sirius, and Remus were standing.

"Ready to go, Jamesy?" His mum asked. James scowled at the nickname, but followed them. "We saw you hugging that girl. What is her name again? Lily?" James nodded. "Well she seems just lovely James. I'm glad you found such a nice girl."

James sighed. "We're not together, mum. We're just friends." They slid through the brick wall out onto the Muggle platform. He saw her slim frame and red hair bobbing up ahead.

Just friends.

* * *

This one is a bit shorter so I uploaded the next one too! Enjoy!


	26. The Great Jamesy

A month into the summer and Lily hadn't done anything. It was the same every year; they all made plans before the end of term, but then they never followed through.

She sighed and rolled over, looking out her window. The trees outside swayed in the light breeze. She could feel the warmth of the sun radiating through the window pane. She laid on her back, watching the squirrels run through the trees for a while. They retreated back down the tree and out of her line of sight. She looked around her room, spotting her parchment and quill sitting on her desk. She got up and sat down at her desk, uncorking an ink bottle and dipping her quill in.

 _James,_ She began.

 _I hope you've had a good holiday so far. Mine's been dreadfully boring. The most excitement I've had is when I accidentally made a teacup shatter and Petunia chased me out of the house._

 _I miss you._

She shook her head and crossed that line out, amending it.

 _Hope you're well._

 _Love,_

 _Lily._

She nodded, then rolled it up and gave it to her owl to take to James. She watched the brown bird fly out of her window and sail away on the wind.

Not an hour went by before her owl was back. She assumed that she had gotten lost and needed to reorient herself. But when she landed on her windowsill, she saw that she was carrying a note with a very recognizable handwriting.

 _Lily,_

 _I miss you too (you didn't cross it out that well)._

She scowled.

 _I'm sorry your break has been boring. Want to come around for a visit? I promise we'll make it exciting._

 _I love you too,_

 _James._

She laughed at the ridiculous note, then flipped it over to reply.

 _James,_

 _I never said I loved you. When would be a good time to visit? I don't have any plans for awhile._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Lily_

She attached it to her owl's leg again and sent her flying. She watched her small, brown form grow smaller and smaller until she could no longer make her out. Once she had gone, Lily stood up and got dressed, then made her way downstairs, where she found her mum making tea.

Lily spent the rest of the day helping her mother clean the kitchen and living room to prepare for Petunia and Vernon coming over. He was bringing his parents to meet their mum, and Lily was dreading it.

She was hoping James would reply and tell her that she could come visit for the day so that she could avoid Vernon and Petunia, but a response never came.

She kept looking out the window, waiting to see her owl swooping down with a new note on her leg. She frowned. If he could respond to her first note so quickly, why didn't he to the second one?

The evening came and her and her mother sat in the living, drinking tea and watching the news. Lily listened intently, wary of any suspicious activity that might signal that more Death Eaters were out and on the move. Nothing of importance happened; the news anchors just talked about how hot the summer had been.

Lily went up to bed, disappointed that James never wrote back. She supposed she could write Marlene and see what she is up to. She looked over at the parchment and quill and decided she would do it tomorrow. She got dressed and climbed into bed, falling asleep quickly.

The next morning sunlight streamed through her window onto her face, waking her up. She groaned. Vernon and Petunia would be here soon. She stood up and pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, not bothering to brush her hair. She walked downstairs and found her mum, Rose, in the kitchen making toast. "Morning."

Her mum turned around, frowning. "Is that what you're going to wear today?"

Lily laughed. "Well, I am just the freak that goes to boarding school. You know they don't teach us how to dress properly, mum."

Her mum laughed and rolled her eyes. "Please go change, they'll be here soon." She handed her a piece of toast. "And behave."

Lily made a face, but took the toast. "I will if _she_ does." Her mum turned around, but she could see the grin on her face. Lily laughed and ran upstairs, changing instead into a pair of jeans and nice blouse. She actually combed through her hair this time, then went back downstairs.

She sat on her kitchen counter, talking with her mum. She wanted to support Petunia, but she hated Vernon just as much as her mother did. He was just a man that you couldn't help but loathe a bit.

"He seems nice, but he is just so, incredibly boring," her mother lamented, wringing out a washcloth above the sink.

"I don't think you're allowed to say that, mum." Her mother made a face and Lily laughed. "I promise I'll never marry a man who works for a drilling company."

"Thank you."

Lily was about to respond, but a loud crash in the backyard interrupted her. She immediately pulled out her wand and jumped off the counter. Her mother yelped and Lily edged out of the door, holding her wand in front of her. She stepped out onto the porch, her eyes adjusting to the bright sunlight. She saw James Potter, sprawled out on the grass, his broom next to him. She pocketed her wand and burst out laughing.

He grinned up at her. "You could offer to help me."

"What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at him. His invisibility cloak was laying next to him. At least that was some consolation, the fact that he didn't just fly past all of her neighbors on a broom.

"You said you were bored," he said. He stood up and brushed the dirt off of his trousers.

Her mother came out and stood on the porch. "Lily? Is everything okay?" She looked worriedly at the boy standing in her garden.

He strode up to her, sticking his hand out. "James Fleamont Potter. Please to meet you Ms. Evans." She looked at Lily, who nodded. She took his hand and he kissed the back of it, making her giggle. "I was wondering if I might have the pleasure of stealing your daughter for dinner at my parent's home tonight. The boys and Marlene are all hanging 'round this week, if you'd like to see them all." He grinned at her.

Lily looked at her mother, who looked at James, then back at her.

"Mum, would that be okay if I go?" Lily asked eagerly.

Her mother looked unsure. "Well you'll miss Petunia and Vernon…" Rose trailed off, looking behind her back into the house.

"I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be too miffed about that, mum," Lily said. Her mother nodded, as she couldn't help but agree. Petunia would be thrilled to not have Lily around, and Lily would love to not have to come up with ridiculous lies as to where she was nine months out of the year.

Ms. Evans bit the inside of her cheek, looking at the pair of them, "Well I suppose that's alright. I would like to call your parents beforehand though and make sure it's okay with them. I wouldn't want Lily to be intruding."

James laughed. "Well, we don't actually own a telephone." Lily's mother gave him a bewildered look. "But I've read about them! Quite remarkable, actually! You Muggles are always coming up with extraordinary things."

"They're all wizards, they don't know anything about Muggle technology," Lily explained quietly. Her mother nodded, but still looked confused.

"Well, I guess you can go, Lily. Just please be careful. And be polite," she warned.

Lily crossed the backyard to where her mother was standing. "Bye mum. Thank you for letting me go." She hugged her, and her mother nodded back at her. "I'll be back soon. I'll write once I get there to let you know I'm safe."

"You're leaving me to the wolves you know." She laughed. "Have fun." Lily nodded.

James mounted his broom and indicated that she should get on as well. She gave him a bewildered look and he grinned back. "Come on Lils, where's your sense of adventure?" He winked at her.

She chuckled and got on, gripping him tight around his waist. He pulled the invisibility cloak around them and tucked it under their legs so it wouldn't fly off. She suspected that as long as their bodies were covered, any other part of the broom would be mistaken as a large bird.

"Ready?" James asked. Lily nodded. He pushed off of the ground and they took off. Lily gasped and gripped him tighter. He laughed. "Alright, Evans?"

"I'm not much of a flyer!" She yelled back over the wind.

"I'll teach you!" He called back. She laughed and leaned her head against the back of his shoulder, breathing in the smell of his soap. They flew for a while, but not nearly as long as Lily would have thought.

James dipped his broom down, causing Lily's stomach to drop. She was not liking where this was going. He slowly headed towards the ground, leveling out a few feet above the grass and slowly coming to a stop. Lily, not realizing that they had landed, still had her eyes shut tight and her arms gripping his waist.

"Lily, you can let go now." She opened one eye. "We're back on the ground. You can just hop off." She eased her way sideways off of the broom, much less gracefully than she would have liked. He watched her, grinning. "How'd you like it?"

She smirked. "I think I'll stick to driving."

"I'll teach you. This summer, if you'd like," James said, tucking his invisibility cloak under his arm and putting his broom over his shoulder.

She thought for a moment. It is a useful skill to have, to know how to ride a broom. She might be in a situation where she couldn't apparate. "Yeah, alright. I'm not going to turn into a Quidditch star or anything. Just basic flying will be fine." She looked down at her shoes. "I pretended I was sick to get out of our first year flying lessons."

James stopped and looked at her. She grimaced, and he started laughing. "Lily Jane Evans, you rascal. You cut class?"

"I was eleven! I had just come to Hogwarts and they told me to hop on a broom and zoom around fifty feet above the ground. I was terrified!" He smiled over at her and he walked ahead. She looked up at the house before them and her jaw dropped open.

The house must have been five or six stories. It looked like a castle, looming over the pair of them. There were matching turrets on each side, and long vines of English ivy clinging to the stone sides. It had enormous windows. James looked back at her. "Alright?" She looked at him, stunned. He looked back at the house and then ruffled his hair. "Yeah, it's pretty big. All of that old Peverell money. This house has been passed on in our family for centuries. Sometimes I think it has more secrets than Hogwarts." She looked around. She didn't see another house anywhere. "Yeah, all of this is the grounds. There isn't another estate around for miles."

"You're joking," she said, looking around in disbelief. "Now I'm embarrassed you saw my house. It must have looked like the Shrieking Shack compared to this place." She gestured vaguely around her.

"Nah, it was quaint," he replied, grinning.

"I'm pretty sure 'quaint' is the word rich people use when they're trying to be polite," Lily retorted. James laughed at that. They reached the front door, and James was about to open it when Sirius burst out and pounced on Lily. She let out a soft "Oof."

"Lily! You're a sight for sore eyes. I've been cooped up with this tosser all summer," he said, grinning and jerking his thumb back at James. Lily laughed and hugged him while James scowled and led them into the house.

Whatever Lily saw on the outside was nothing compared to the inside. There were marble floors and high ceilings. They reached a large, open living room, where in the corner there was a fire place that loomed over her. It must have been at least eight feet tall.

"Would the Miss like a drink?" Lily jumped at the noise and looked around. At her feet was a small house elf wearing a smock. She looked at the elf in disbelief, which prompted it to ask again.

"Oh. I'm sorry. No thank you, that's very kind." She awkwardly crouched and held out her hand. "I'm Lily Evans. Pleased to meet you."

The elf looked taken aback at first, but then took her hand and shook it. "I am Farby. I am glad to meet you also, Miss."

She stood back up. "Thank you, sir." The house elf looked up at her in confusion, then nodded and shuffled away. She looked back at James and Sirius. James was leaning against the back of a large sofa, grinning.

"Want to go find Marlene and Moony?" Sirius asked, gesturing to the upstairs.

"Where are they?" Lily asked, already lost. They had ascended another staircase and traversed a few hallways.

"They're back in the lounge," Sirius called over his shoulder.

"The lounge?" Lile asked, looking back at James. He shrugged.

Sirius threw open a door to a brightly lit room with large bay windows on all sides. Marlene was laying on one of the couches, and Remus was sitting in a chair, reading a book. One of the windows was open, causing the curtains to flutter back and forth.

Lily smiled to herself. This is how she would have imagined the scene in _The Great Gatsby_ when Nick is introduced to Jordan and Daisy. Old money seemed to have a pattern in their decor.

"Lily!" Marlene shouted, standing up. Lily crossed the room and hugged her. Remus also stood up and hugged her too. She pulled away. "Did you get Alice's letter?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I must have missed it." Her stomach dropped. "Oh no. That means Alice's owl is coming to my house. Where Petunia and Vernon are."

"Who cares about that tosspot? Alice is engaged!" Marlene said, giggling and pulling Lily in for another hug.

"What? Really?" Lily asked. Marlene nodded and went over to where she was laying moments before, pulling out a piece of parchment.

She held it out in front of her. "Marlene, I will send another letter soon, but I wanted to let you know as soon as possible. Frank proposed! You, of course, will be in the wedding whenever it happens. We're going on a trip to celebrate. See you soon!"

Lily shook her head. "Wow. That's," she paused. "That's a lot." She corrected. "I don't mean it's bad or anything. It's just. They're so, they're so young."

"Tie the knot before we all die," Sirius commented.

"That's cheerful," Remus mumbled. Sirius shrugged.

Lily was about to agree, but she stopped when she heard a voice calling up at them. Lily couldn't understand what it said, but James shouted back down. "Coming, mum!"

Everyone stood up and headed out the door, Lily following behind, still confused as to where they were in relation to the main entrance. They took an odd side passage that did not connect with the main stairs and ended up in the kitchen.

James, seeing Lily's confused face, explained. "House elf passage. They're supposed to use it so that they won't be seen, but they normally just use the main stairs."

James' mum came in and smiled. "The only downfall to having this big house is that I have to shout your name a thousand times before you actually hear me."

Lily snorted, and Euphemia looked at her. Lily was afraid that she offended her, but she stepped towards her and pulled her into a hug. "Are you one of my new children?" She asked. Lily stared at her in bewilderment.

Sirius laughed. "Nah, Mia, she's just 'round for dinner."

"I'm Lily," Lily said awkwardly, extending her hand.

"Ah yes, I remember. We met previously. On the train platform?" She asked. She sat down at the counter and indicated that the rest do the same.

"Yeah, we did," Lily said, nodding.

Euphemia smiled back, then turned to the corner of the room, where the house elf was standing. "Nonney, would you please set the table for another guest?" The house elf nodded and went into the pantry.

"You have more than one house elf?" Lily asked.

"We have four," James said quietly.

Lily's jaw dropped. "What?" Marlene excused herself to the loo, and Lily nodded at her, but then looked back at James with shock.

"They've been in the family for years, dear. There's a whole line of them stretching back as far as the Peverell line." Euphemia smiled. "Did you know there are house elves at Hogwarts?"

Lily nodded. "Yes sometimes I help them clean whenever James and Sirius-" She stopped, realizing who she was talking to.

"It's okay, dear. I know far too well what these boys get up to at Hogwarts." She smiled. "That's nice that you help them clean, though. I can't imagine it's an easy task."

"Oh come on, mum, we try our best," James said, grinning. He turned to Lily. "We tell my mum everything. And the things we don't tell her, McGonagall includes in a letter." He laughed. "She even knows we're Animagi."

"What?" She looked at Euphemia, who nodded, though she had an exasperated look on her face.

"Ridiculously dangerous, highly illegal, and insanely stupid, but when they told me the reason why they did it, I couldn't be mad at them."

"I couldn't either," Lily said, nodding.

Marlene came back from the bathroom. "Been coming to this house since before I was born, and yet I still walk into three different rooms before finding the loo." They all laughed, and Lily couldn't help but agree. She could be here for the rest of her life and never figure out the layout of this place.

Fleamont Potter returned from work later on and they all sat down at the long, mahogany dining room table. The house elves had prepared a large, extravagant meal, and Lily wondered if they did this every night, or if it was because they had guests.

They ate, sharing stories and laughing. Fleamont told them all about his day at work, and how he had to deal with some witch that claimed his Sleekeazy potion made her hair fall out. It turned out her sister had hexed her in the night and it had absolutely nothing to do with his potion. He remembered James telling him about how much Lily enjoyed potions and they chatted for a quite a while.

The houselves cleared their plates and brought out a lavish dessert of trifle and coffee. Lily, once again, was amazed by the extravagance of the whole affair. "This is incredible, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, thank you so much for letting me come over," she said, spooning some of the trifle onto her plate.

Euphemia smiled at her. "Of course, dear. Though I do wish you were staying for longer so we could get to know you better! Marlene and Remus are staying for the whole week."

James spoke up, "Mum, can Lily stay for the week as well?"

"That's a lovely idea!" She answered.

Lily shook her head lightly. "I don't think my mum would go for that. Thank you, though." James look crestfallen.

After dessert was finished, Fleamont spoke up, wiping some cream from his mustache. "If you would like we could apparate you back to your house so that you don't have to ride on the back of James' broom again," he offered.

"Hey! She liked it!" James protested.

Lily laughed. "That is an overstatement, James." She turned back to Fleamont. "Thank you, sir, but I wouldn't want to bother you. I'm just fine riding back with James."

"It's not a bother at all, dear," Euphemia said. "I'll take you myself." Lily nodded and smiled awkwardly. They were so nice and she was unsure of how to act.

Moments later, after everyone had said their goodbyes, Lily and Euphemia held onto each other in the foyer and spun on the spot.

They landed hard onto the ground in the backyard of Lily's house with a loud crack. Euphemia dusted herself off and strode towards their door. "Sorry about that, it's less smooth with someone along side."

Lily shook her head, attempting to look nonchalant, though nausea was creeping up on her. "It was perfectly fine, Mrs. Potter. Thank you." Euphemia moved to knock on their back door and Lily lunged forward to try to stop her, but was too late. Euphemia gave her a bewildered look. "I'm so sorry Mrs. Potter, I didn't mean to be rude, I just-" Lily couldn't explain her panic before her sister swung the door open, giving them both a waspish look.

"Don't you know how to use the front door?" She hissed, looking at Mrs. Potter's wizard's robes with distaste.

Euphemia was taken aback, but then smiled sweetly. "Yes, you are quite right. My mistake. Tell me, is Mrs. Evans home?"

Lily looked at Euphemia, then back at Petunia. Petunia's small eyes were narrowed at her. "It's fine, Mrs. Potter, I'll tell her you said hello, thank you for-" Lily was once again interrupted by Rose appearing at the door.

She looked confused to see Lily standing on their back porch with a woman dressed in full length robes and a witch's hat, but smiled all the same. "Hello!" She stuck out her hand. "I'm Rose Evans, pleasure to meet you."

Euphemia took her hand and shook it. "I'm Euphemia Potter." She dropped her hand and looked once more at Petunia. "Pardon me, dear. Would you mind if I spoke to your mother privately?" Petunia glared at the pair of them, but huffed and went back inside. Euphemia turned to look at Rose again. "Your daughter is so polite, thank you for letting us have her for the evening. It was a delight."

Rose beamed at Lily. "I'm so glad to hear that. James is welcome here anytime as well." Raised voices floated out the house and Euphemia looked past Rose with confusion. Rose laughed awkwardly. "So sorry, that's just my other daughter. She's not," she paused, "like, you, and she gets very upset when she's reminded of that."

"Ah," Euphemia said, with understanding. "That is regretful, Lily is such a bright young witch, it's a shame she can't share that with her sister." Lily looked down, embarrassed that Petunia had been so rude to Mrs. Potter.

Rose shifted, uncomfortable. "She and her fiancé came for dinner." She looked back into the house, worried. "They're staying for a few days, I believe. Vernon wants to bring his parents around."

Lily's stomach clenched. "Mum, no." Rose looked at Lily, apologetic.

"Well, she should just stay with us this week!" Euphemia exclaimed. Rose was about to open her mouth, but Euphemia plowed on. "The rest of James' friends are staying at the house, including Marlene McKinnon, do you know her?" Rose nodded. "Lily would be more than welcome to stay with us. We have plenty of room for her, and I'm sure the others would just be delighted."

"Well I don't know, it's-"

"Mum, think about how happy Petunia would be to not have me here," Lily started. Rose looked like she might protest some more, but Lily continued. "And I haven't seen my friends all summer, and I'm sure Vernon's parents would hate me, and if they wanted to spend the night they could use my room, if you move some of the Wizard-y things and-"

Rose held up her hands. "Alright, alright, slow down." She bit her lip, still unsure. "I'm just worried. Not to be disrespectful, Mrs. Potter, but I don't know you or your husband very well, and I worry about Lily."

"I completely understand. I-"

"I'll send a letter everyday, mum, to let you know I'm safe, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter are actually working with Dumbledore, the headmaster to _keep_ the Wizarding world safe and James is-"

"Lily, calm down!" Her mother exclaimed.

Lily looked down, abashed. "I'm sorry mum, I just don't think Petunia wants me here."

Rose looked at her sadly, understanding her daughter's meaning. She relented. "Okay, okay. You can go." Lily jumped forward to hug her, thanking her profusely. She darted up the stairs to pack a bag, throwing clothing in as fast as she could.

She got to avoid Petunia _and_ Vernon's parents? Euphemia Potter was her lifesaver. She ran back down the stairs, skillfully circumventing Petunia and Vernon drinking tea in the living room and burst back out into the back yard. "Bye, mum!" She hugged her. "I love you, I'll write tomorrow morning as soon as I wake up, I promise." Rose nodded.

Euphemia grabbed her hand and turned on the spot, sending them through the air and landing back at the Potter estate. Once Lily gained her bearings, she spoke up. "Thank you, Mrs. Potter. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"After I met your sister I didn't want you staying in that house." She shook her head and smiled fondly. "That's not meant to offend. Your mother is lovely, but as you can tell, I have a soft spot for kids in bad home situations."

"Oh it's not," she paused, "it's not like that normally. She doesn't live with us." Lily suddenly felt sad. "We used to be so close, but once I went to Hogwarts she became so mean, she suddenly began to hate me and I-" Lily stopped, suddenly overcome with emotion.

Euphemia stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry dear. Sometimes, our families aren't always supportive of us. Being pureblood, I can tell you how many bad apples we have in our family tree." She pulled away. "But that doesn't mean it's your fault. Your mother loves you very much, I can tell. And maybe one day you will be able to repair the relationship with your sister."

Lily nodded. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Potter."

"You can call me Euphemia. Or mum," she said, winking. Lily beamed up at her.

They reentered the house and saw everyone sitting around the massive fireplace, still talking. "Did you get lost, love?" Fleamont asked.

She laughed, leaning over the couch to kiss him on the cheek. "No, I just adopted another child for the week."

James leaped up, looking like he just received the best news of his entire life. "Really?" Lily nodded and he pulled her into a hug, smothering her. "Thanks, mum!"

"Petunia and her fiancé were staying for a couple of days, so I didn't want to…" Lily trailed off, but James knew what she meant. She looked at the clock, which told her it was already ten. James followed her gaze and nodded.

"Want to see your room?" He asked, starting towards the stairs.

"I can just share Marlene's room. I don't need a room to myself," she said awkwardly.

"We have six empty bedrooms, Lils. You could have two to yourself if you wanted." He started up the grand marble stairs and she followed him. There were portraits hung on the wall ascending alongside the staircase. They nodded at her as she went by. She nodded back, reading their descriptions. They were all old wizards who had died a long time ago. She guessed it was people in the family lineage.

They went up another staircase and turned to the left. He guided her to a wooden door and pushed it open. The room was painted a light blue, and there was a large canopy bed against the wall in the middle. The room had two doors on the other side with long, white, billowing curtains. She looked back at James, who nodded, then crossed the room.

She opened the doors and immediately felt the summer heat envelope her. There was a balcony that was half the size of her room at home. It looked over the vast and manicured grounds. She laughed in amazement.

She looked around, seeing rolling hills and trees. There was no sign of any other houses or anything for miles. She turned back around. "James, this is insane."

He ran his hand through his hair, "Yeah, it's a lot. I know. I can put you in a broom closet if you'd be more comfortable." She smirked and turned to place her bag on the bed.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

James nodded, running his hand through his hair again. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

"If you need anything, I'm next door," he said, pointing towards the hallway. She smiled and nodded, watching him go.

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment, hearing Lily giggle inside the room. He smiled to himself, feeling his heart beat rapidly against his chest. It was going to be an interesting week.

* * *

This really is a SLOW burn isn't it? Don't worry, I promise I'll put you out of your misery soon. Really soon, in fact it looks like (hint hint) it might be on (hint hint) September 10th that our lovebirds might actually get somewhere. Until then though try not to hate me too much.

See you Thursday!


	27. Morning, Lovebirds

"You ready?"

"No."

"Too bad." He kicked off and the broom lifted into the air. Lily grasped the handle tightly, closing her eyes. "Don't close your eyes! You're going to make us crash!" She quickly reopened them and saw that they were only about eight feet off of the ground.

A few days had passed and James was teaching Lily how to fly. He was seated on his broom behind her, his arms wrapped around her, his hands overlapping hers. He was basically controlling the broom, but Lily needed to get the feel of things.

"Turn left."

"How do I do that?"

He smirked. "By pointing the broom handle left, love." She scowled back at him, but did as he said. They curved to the left. "Good job."

She laughed. "I did it."

"I'll send an owl to the Harpies," he said, grinning.

"Shut up. Don't take this away from me," she retorted. She realized they were still turning to the left, so she straightened out. She tilted the broom handle upward slightly and they rose another few feet. Her stomach lurched, but she smiled.

"Well done."

"Thank you."

"Why don't you point forward and we can speed up," he suggested. She shook her head no, but he pushed against her hands on the handle and sped forward. Lily gasped.

It wasn't as bad as she thought. It was actually kind of fun. She would never admit that to James, though. He'd be too smug about it and she'd never live it down. Also she hadn't flown on her own, and she assumed it would be a lot more terrifying without James' strong arms wrapped around her.

She shook her head. Not strong arms, just experienced arms. Someone that's played Quidditch since he was two type of arms.

"Alright, Evans?" He asked, his breath on her ear.

"Yeah. Just focused on not dying," she said.

"You're not going to die, Lily. We're like three meters off of the ground," he said, laughing. She shook her head at him. "You're doing great."

She smiled to herself. She let herself get lost in the moment, feeling the air on her face and James' chest pressing into her back. They flew for a while longer until James was able to just hold onto her waist and she steered them around.

They landed and headed back to the house, where they assumed everyone would just be sitting down to eat dinner. That was not the case, however. They walked in to find everyone sitting at the dining room table looking somber. Lily slid into the spot next to Remus.

"What's with the long faces? Somebody die?" James joked, grabbing some grapes from the bowl in the middle of the table and popping them into his mouth. Everyone looked at him, which signaled that this was not a time for joking. He became serious. "What happened?"

"Alice's parents are dead," Marlene said quietly.

James froze. Lily looked up from her seat at the table, shocked. "What?" She asked.

"They were," Fleamont hesitated, choosing his words carefully, "running a mission for Dumbledore. Death Eaters ambushed them. They didn't make it. No one did."

Lily looked up at James, who still had a grape in his mouth. He swallowed and cleared his throat. "How many others?"

"Three," Euphemia said, looking out the window. Lily looked down at her hands. They were still red from gripping the broom handle.

 _How do you respond to this?_ Lily wondered. She had met them briefly at the train station, but didn't know them well at all. "Do we know how Alice is?"

Marlene shook her head. "She's on her trip with Frank. They sent her an owl, but she might not know yet." She began picking at her nails. "I want to send her an owl but I don't know where to send it."

Lily nodded, unsure of what to do. They sat in silence for a while, everyone processing the news without speaking. She knew this was an odd moment to think of this, but she realized Peter wasn't there. Had they specifically not invited him, or was he just busy?

They talked for a while, but eventually they ran out of things to say and they parted. Lily followed James up to their respective bedrooms. They hugged, and Lily went into her room and shut the door.

She sat on the bed, numb. She wasn't tired, she didn't need to cry, she didn't know what she wanted to do. She felt strange, as if she had taken a dreamless sleep potion but was still awake. She was empty. She laid down in bed and stared up at the canopy above her. It was a sheer material, and she could see the ceiling through it. She got up and put on pajamas, then crawled back into bed. She traced the patterns of the quilted comforter with her finger as she attempted to sleep.

She tried counting down from one hundred, but nothing she tried seemed to help her fall asleep. She just laid awake, thinking.

He heard a soft knock on his door. He frowned, looking at his clock. It was well past midnight. "James?" a voice called out. Lily's voice. He stood up and opened the door to see Lily looking up at him. "Did I wake you up?" She asked, looking worried.

He shook his head. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me either." He sat up in his bed and she sat next to him. "This war is really happening, isn't it?"

He nodded, looking at her face. She looked weary. He was sure he did too. He laid down and she laid next to him. "I never know what to do or say."

"Me either." She turned on her side and scooted closer to him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "It's awful. With the wedding and everything. She must have been so happy, and now everything, all of her memories of it, is going to be ruined by this."

James nodded. "I can't imagine losing my parents."

"I know what it's like, but this is different. We knew my dad was going to die. We all got to spend time with him and say goodbye. Alice's parents were just, just gone. Gone in an instant. I don't know how that would feel."

James nodded, and Lily looked up at him. He looked tired. She rested her head against his bare chest. They laid like that for a while, silent, listening to the sound of each other's breathing.

"Lily?" James whispered. She didn't respond. She had fallen asleep. He eased her off of him and slid to the other side of the bed. He turned over and fell asleep, much faster than he expected.

The next morning Lily woke up slowly, laying for a while with her eyes closed. She was hoping that she wouldn't have to get up for a while. The worst part of these times was having to think of things to say whenever you're around other people. She heard a light cough and immediately bolted up. She didn't realize she had fallen asleep in James' bed. He smiled over at her.

"Morning."

She smiled awkwardly at him. "Hi."

"Oi Prongs, your mum wants you to-" Sirius had burst into the room but stopped when he saw Lily. "Oh, excuse me, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

"Come on Padfoot, it's not like that," James said. Sirius gave him a look. "We'll be down in a-"

He was cut off by Remus and Marlene coming into his room also. Lily groaned. They both looked at her, then at James, then back at her.

"What happened here?" Marlene asked, suggestively.

"Nothing happened. We couldn't sleep. We talked, and then we fell asleep. We've done that, Marlene. This is no different," Lily said.

Marlene held her hands up. "Alright. James, your mum says breakfast is ready," she said, but Lily knew they would have to have a talk later.

"I know, we'll be down in a minute. Can you lot go, please?" James said, irritated. Everyone snickered, but they left the room. He turned to Lily, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep," she apologized sheepishly.

"That's okay." James grinned. "I think I slept better."

She couldn't help but agree, but she would never admit that out loud. She laughed and got up. "See you down at breakfast."

He nodded, watching her go.

Just friends.

"It's not a big deal, Marlene," Lily said. "I've slept next to you, Sirius, Remus, and Peter before. This isn't any different."

"It is because you're in looove," Marlene singsonged.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not in love with James Potter. We're friends. Friends comfort each other."

Marlene made Lily sit down on her bed, then took her hands. "Look, I know all of us make jokes about it, but I see how you look at him. You may not love him, but there's something more there. You can't deny that."

Lily sighed. "It doesn't matter if there's anything there. I don't want anything to happen between us. What if we broke up? Then we couldn't all hang out as a big group anymore, or if we did it would be awkward. Then I would lose Remus and Peter and Sirius."

"Come on, you both are mature enough to be friends even if you did break up."

"That has nothing to do with it, No matter how mature we are, it's always going to be awkward." Lily bit her lip. "And then we'd have a whole other year to spend around each other. And we'll probably see each other whenever we're helping Dumbledore do whatever he's doing. It's best to stay friends."

Marlene shook her head. "Lily, imagine if something happened. Would you really be okay with him never knowing how you felt?" Lily frowned. "And trust me, you're not going to break up anytime soon. I think James is going to hold on as desperately as he can." She laughed.

Lily fell silent, thinking. She couldn't imagine something happening to James. Would she want him to know how she felt? Marlene was right, with the war going on, you could lose someone suddenly. Anna was gone without a second thought, and the same could happen to James. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest when she thought that. Something happening to James would be one of the worst things she could imagine.

"Look, I'm not saying you have to confess your never-dying love for him. I'm just saying I know that you have feelings for him, and I think that you're being stupid by not telling him. The sky isn't going to fall. And if you do break up for some reason, he cares enough about you to maintain your friendship." She stood up. "Just, just think about it. It doesn't have to be a life altering decision."

She turned and left, shutting the door behind her. Lily laid back on her bed.

Marlene was right, it wasn't a life altering decision. She could tell him. Her friends wouldn't abandon her if anything happened. It would be awkward, but they could get over it, couldn't they?

She sat up. She was going to tell him.

She trotted down the steps to the kitchen. Everyone was sitting at the counter eating lunch. She took a deep breath and quietly entered.

"Hey Lils," Remus said. "Want a sandwich?" He held up a plate.

She shook her head. "Actually I just..." she trailed off, not finishing her thought, "James, could I talk to you?"

He gave her a confused look, but nodded. She stepped out into the hallway and he followed her. She was looking down at her shoes, wringing her hands.

"I've been thinking a lot, and I," she paused and bit her lip. "I just-"

"What?" He asked. She looked up at him. His hazel eyes were looking down at her. She stared back at him for a second, looking into his eyes, watching how the light reflected in them.

"I have been denying it for a while, but I think that I-"

She didn't finish her sentence, as Sirius opened the door and leaned out. "Hogwarts mail's here."

Lily nodded and moved to go back into the kitchen. James grabbed her wrist, "Wait, what did you want to tell me?"

Lily stopped, her heart beating like crazy. She was too nervous now. She needed to plan this out. "I'll tell you after we open the mail."

He looked disappointed, but nodded and followed her into the kitchen. She grabbed her letter and stepped off to the side. It was heavier than normal, and she knew what that meant. A large grin spread across her face as she tore it open and the Head Girl badge fell out into her hand.

Marlene watched her, and squealed when she saw it. "Oh I knew it! I knew you'd get it!" Lily laughed and they hugged each other, spinning around.

"Thank you! I wasn't sure, but I was hoping. Now I just wonder..." She turned around and saw James holding the Head Boy badge. She turned to Remus. "Oh Remus, I'm so glad you got it, I was terrified it was going to be someone else, but I'm so relieved."

She went over to hug him, but he stopped her. "Lils, I'm not Head Boy."

She laughed, "Oh really? So who's badge is that? Sirius'?" She joked.

"It's mine," James said quietly.

She looked at him and was about to laugh, but saw his confused face. She furrowed her brow. "Well that's," she paused, "you're not a prefect, you can't be Head Boy."

He shook his head. "I know. Maybe Dumbledore messed up."

"Or this is a cruel prank to get you back for all of those years." Sirius laughed, nudging him with his elbow.

Lily frowned. "Dumbledore doesn't make mistakes." James looked up at her, his face made her sad. He looked confused and worried. "I'm sure he sees something in you that will make a good Head Boy." She nodded. "Yes, I'm sure he's seen how much you've matured, and he thinks you'll be be a good Head Boy." She nodded again. "I've got to, um, I've gotta go." She gestured vaguely to the hallway, and left quickly back to her room.

"Lily, wait," James called out, but she was already gone. He sighed. He turned back to the counter and ran his thumb over the badge. There was no way he was Head Boy. It didn't matter if he had matured. He spent the first five years wreaking havoc and hexing people. Also he had never been a prefect. Head Boys were always prefects first.

Remus patted him on the shoulder. "Dumbledore knows what he's doing. You're going to be a great Head Boy."

James nodded half-heartedly, not looking up. His mother came in and hugged him from behind. He looked back at her and held the badge up.

"James are you?" Euphemia asked. He nodded, "Oh! That's wonderful! Jamesy I'm so proud of you!" She squeezed his shoulders and smoother out his hair. "You know you'll have to do something about this hair if you're going to be Head Boy." He pushed her hands off and groaned.

"Mum, my hair is fine." She smiled and kissed his head before turning away and washing her hands at the sink.

"We have to celebrate," she said. "Anything you want!" James nodded, but didn't meet her eye. "Jamesy, what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, I just, I just don't think I really deserve this."

She frowned. "Well, of course you do. Sure, you may have played some pranks in the past and did some dumb things, but you're a natural leader and the student body looks up to you." She hugged him again. "Dumbledore's a smart man. I've never doubted him and you shouldn't either. Let me know how you want to celebrate." She kissed his cheek and left.

He got up and turned to leave. Remus called out behind him, but he shut the door and left. He ran up the stairs towards his room. He was about to go in, but he stopped. He looked over at Lily's closed door.

He stepped over and quietly tapped his knuckles against the wood. "Yeah?" Lily asked from within the room. He opened the door slowly and peeked his head in.

"Can I come in?" She nodded and gestured to the empty space on the bed. She was sitting cross-legged, looking down at her badge. He sat across from her, putting the soles of his feet on the bed and resting his forearms on his bent knees. "Are you disappointed that it's me?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I was surprised, yes, but I'm not disappointed." He gave her a skeptical look. "Really. I'm glad it's you. I would much rather it be you than any of the other prefects. I can't imagine working with Jones. Could you?"

He chuckled. "No, I couldn't. So, what did you want to tell me?" He asked. She looked up at him and he looked at her expectantly. He thought he knew what she was going to say, but he didn't want to misread the situation. He couldn't risk it.

When they met eyes she looked down quickly at her hands. "Nothing, I just, I just wanted to thank you for teaching me how to fly and letting me spend the week here. It's been great so, um, thank you for, you know, everything."

His heart sank. "Yeah, of course. You're welcome any time." She nodded, smiling at him. He nodded too, then got up. "It will be a fun year, at least," he said, laughing lightly.

She smiled. "I'm sure." He got up and left the room, pulling the door closed until it clicked in its lock.

He leaned against the door for a minute. He was so sure that she was finally going to admit that she had feelings for him. But, in total character, she shied away again. He didn't understand what could be holding her back. He sighed and headed back downstairs. _She'll come around eventually_ , he thought. But for now they were just friends.

He saw his Head Boy badge sitting on the counter.

Just friends.

"So you were going to tell him?"

"Yes."

"But you didn't tell him."

"No."

"Why not?"

Lily flopped down on Marlene's bed. "Well at first I got nervous, but now I definitely can't tell him."

Marlene frowned and sat down next to her. "And why not?"

"Because! We have to live and work together for an entire year. Can you imagine if we broke up? Or if we were fighting? We can't be Heads and be in a relationship. That's ridiculous," Lily explained. Though she wasn't sure if she wanted to understand her own reasoning.

"I don't think it matters that much, Lils," Marlene said.

"It matters to me!" Lily sat up, looking down at her hands. "Ever since I came to Hogwarts I wanted to learn as much as I could, be as best as I could.," She shook her head. "You guys don't understand. You've known about magic your entire life. It's just a part of life for you. This turned my entire world upside down. I was given this opportunity, and being here, learning about magic, it means everything to me. I don't want to screw anything up just because I like a boy. Dumbledore is counting on me, and I'm not going to let him down."

Marlene stared at her for a moment, her expression sad. "I'm sorry, Lils, I didn't know how much this meant to you. I understand, but I think you're hurting yourself more by not telling him."

"It's complicated."

She laughed. "Yeah, yeah it is." She leaned against her and Lily wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

* * *

I'm cruel, aren't I. I updated a day early since you guys are insatiable! I love that you guys are so invested in this story so far! Also, to make up for being so mean in this chapter, I'll be updating on Friday instead of Monday. After that though I have an organic chemistry and evolutionary bio exam and a Spanish literary analysis, so I might not update until Thursday (but hopefully not).


	28. I'm Falling For You and I Don't Like It

Lily leaned against her trolley and slid through the platform wall, trying not to draw any attention to herself. Petunia had dropped her at the station thirty minutes earlier than when she normally got there. There was still an hour until the train departed, but Petunia said she had to get to an appointment and she couldn't drop her off any later.

There was no one on the platform, but the gleaming red train was sitting there, silent. She set her trunk on the luggage loading station and got on. She walked past all of the compartments to the prefects' one.

She sat down and traced her finger along the cushion. She smiled. It was her last year at Hogwarts and she was Head Girl, she had gotten Outstandings in all of her subjects, _and_ she got her own room this year.

It was going to be a great year.

She sat for a while, looking over the notes Dumbledore sent her. It included a to-do list for their first night of the term. They were supposed to lead the meeting, patrol the train, lead the first years to their towers, and then do a quick patrol about the castle to make sure no one was trying to pull anything on the first night back.

The door opened and Lily looked up. James was standing in the doorway, grinning. "How was the rest of your summer?"

"Quite good, thank you," she replied. "And yours?"

He gave her a confused look before sitting down next to her. "It was fine. What's with the formality?"

"Well we work together now," she explained. "There's nothing wrong with being professional."

He laughed. "Yeah, alright." He grabbed a couple of the papers and looked them over. "So how do you want to split this up?"

She shrugged. "I can take the lead." She smiled up at him. "You can take a seat and look pretty." He frowned at her and shook his head. "What? No jokes about how I think you're pretty? How we should get married?" she asked, looking up at him.

He shook his head again. "I would just like for us to split the work up evenly. You can give the first part and I'll work with the fifth years once the older kids leave."

Lily was taken aback. No jokes? No sardonic comments about the job? What had gotten into him? "Yeah, alright. That sounds good."

"Tomorrow morning we can start on the patrol schedule, if you would like," he offered. She nodded, still confused by his demeanor. She knew it was for the best, though. They needed to be nothing less than professional, since they had to live and work together for the next nine months.

He reached into his bag and pulled out a chocolate frog, handing it to Lily She smiled and took it, slipping it into the pocket of her robes.

"So, why are you here so early?" She asked. She knew why she was early, but it was not like James Potter to be early to anything.

"I woke up early this morning. I went flying for a while and ended up just flying to the station. I had my parents send over my trunk and things," he said, flipping over the card he got from his chocolate frog package. It was a Newt Scamander. He frowned and slid it in his pocket.

"Why were you up early?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." His face was solemn. "Lils, I'm really scared I'm gonna fuck this up."

Lily understood his behavior now. "James, you're not going to mess this up." He looked at her skeptically. "You're a natural born leader. You're smart, almost top of your class, the entire student body knows you, you're charismatic, and when you try you can be a hard worker. I have never seen anyone pour themselves so fully into things like you do. Whenever you find something, you're so passionate about it that it becomes infectious. It seems like you can't do anything without giving it everything you have." She placed her hand over his. "I believe in you, and Dumbledore believes in you. You're going to make a great Head Boy."

He leaned over and hugged her. "Thank you." He gripped her tightly, her flowery perfume floating into his nose. He breathed deeply, then abruptly pulled away. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Thanks, for uh," he gestured vaguely, "everything."

She looked away and nodded. "Yep, any time."

It was going to be a long nine months.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Gryffindors of the Castle, Witches and Wizards, may I present to you, The Head's Dorm," James flung open the portrait hole to reveal their own common room. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, and Alice all stepped in and looked around.

It was similar to the Gryffindor common room, though smaller. It didn't have the red and gold furnishings however, in an attempt to remain neutral for whatever students may claim residence within it. It had a table in the corner with four chairs, and a couch and armchairs facing the fire. There were short staircases that led up to Lily and James' respective rooms, on opposing sides.

Lily followed behind them, smirking. "We're not giving you the password though." They all protested. "I don't want you lot coming and going as you please, what if we're busy?"

"Yeah, busy going at it on this couch," Marlene said, plopping down.

James frowned. "No, she means if we're we're studying or working on Head's stuff." He didn't like how all of their friends were constantly joking about them having sex or dating. He knew it made Lily uncomfortable, and it had gotten out of hand.

"Yeah alright," Marlene said, leaning her back against the armrest.

"Moony, come check out how big Prong's bed is!" Sirius called from inside his room. He hadn't even noticed that they had sneaked up there. He looked over at Lily, who shook her head and smirked.

"We're not going to be able to get rid of them, are we?" She asked. He shook his head.

"Prongs, come here!" Peter called from his bedroom. James shrugged at Lily and ran up the steps, closing the door behind him.

Lily, Marlene, and Alice all went up to her room.

"Wow, Lily, this is so nice," Alice twirled around, "You actually have room in here to move around."

Lily nodded, but sat on her bed, not feeling like twirling. "How are you doing?" She asked Alice. They had seen each other over the summer, but they hadn't had a chance to talk about what had happened while they were on the train or during dinner.

Alice smiled sadly. "I'm okay." She sat down on Lily's bed too. "I'm throwing myself into planning the wedding and that has helped."

Marlene sat down and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry, Alice."

"It's okay. It's like McGonagall said. Things like this remind us that the war is real and that we have to keep fighting." Her face hardened. "I won't let their deaths, or Anna's death, or anybody else's be in vain. We're going to end this or die trying," she said, matter-of-factly.

They all leaned in for a hug, the gravity of the situation settling on their shoulders. Lily thought about that statement. Would this end, or would she die first? It was a terrifying thought to consider. It was entirely possible that she wouldn't live to see the end of this war.

She sat up and shook her head, clearing herself of those thoughts. "So, where is the wedding going to be?"

Alice smiled, and they spent the next few hours catching up.

Across the hall James was laying on his bed and Sirius, Remus, and Peter were perched in different areas in the room, listening.

"You guys can't make jokes like that anymore," he said. "I know that she was _finally_ going to admit that she has feelings for me, but I'm sure once she knew that we had to work together this year she chickened out again." He frowned. "Man, fuck Dumbledore."

"Do you think Dumbledore knew, and he's just trying to keep you from getting laid?" Peter joked.

"If he did, I'll kill him," James half-joked back.

"Who would win, a one hundred year old super wizard, or horny teenage boy?" Sirius asked, his voice sounding like a sportscaster betting on the outcome of a game.

"I'm not horny, I just want her to admit that she sees me as more than just a friend!" James stood up and started pacing. "I was fine with us being friends when I thought she didn't have feelings for me. I could accept that. But she wants to be with me and she won't even say so!"

"Have you tried talking to her about it?" Remus asked.

"That will probably push her away more. She'll think that I can never be 'just friends' with her, and then she really won't want to date me," James lamented. "Tell me what to do."

"Do you want one of us to talk to her?" Peter suggested.

"No, that's even worse than me talking to her. I'm not going to let my friends go ask her if she likes me like we're in third year again," James said.

"I don't know what to tell you, mate. I guess just wait it out and she'll come around," Sirius offered, shrugging. He and Remus stood up and turned to leave.

"Thanks for nothing!" James called after them. He heard their laughter float back into the room and he scowled. Peter got up and waved bye to him. "See ya, Pete." he said as his door was pulled closed.

Why did he never know what to do?

"Lils, are you ready?" James called up the short staircase to her room in the head's dorm. The door opened and she came out, trotting down the steps with a roll of parchment, ink, and two quills in her hands.

She set them on the table and turned back to James. "Do you have the list of the standing conflicts from the meeting yesterday?" He nodded and held it up. She nodded and sat down at the table, smoothing out the parchment.

He made to sit down, but then remembered something. He grinned. "Wait hold on, I want to try something." He turned around and tentatively placed his foot on the first step of the stairs ascending to Lily's room. It didn't move. He slowly placed his other foot on the next step, nothing changing.

He looked back at Lily's confused face, then ran up the rest of the stairs coming to a stop at the landing. "Looks like the Founders trust Head Boys more than all those regulars guys in the main dorms," he said, laughing.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Great, now I'm going to have to put up my own protective enchantments to keep you out."

He came back down the stairs. "Really? 'Cause it's always been you coming into my bedroom," he commented.

She opened her mouth to retort but realized he was completely right. "Can we just work on this?"

He smirked. "Yeah."

They settled down and Lily reached over for the list of conflicts. One of the fifth year Slytherins had the Gobstones Club on Wednesday nights, so they made sure to put him on Tuesday, many of them had Quidditch, which took them over an hour to coordinate with everybody. It was like a puzzle.

James kept trying to write the sixth year Hufflepuffs in for Thursdays. Lily kept smacking his hand and vanishing the ink from the page. "James, I've told you at least four times, the Hufflepuffs have Quidditch on Thursdays."

"Well, I rather think being a prefect is more important, don't you?" He slammed his hand down. "We are protecting our school! Not frolicking about on the pitch! This is an outrage!" He exclaimed dramatically.

Lily tried to hide her smile. "We're not going to make them miss practice so that you can win the Cup this year."

He sat back in his chair and laughed. "Yeah alright. It was worth a shot." She shook her head at him, loving how ridiculous he was. Though she hadn't expected that he would be Head Boy, she couldn't deny that she enjoyed his company, his jokes, his passion, his-

 _Stop. Don't go down that road. You're just friends._

He tapped her hand, pulling her back to the moment. He ran his hand through his hair and she sighed.

"James would you hurry up?" Silence. Lily pursed her lips. "If you don't come out now, I'm switching Potions partners!" She called.

The door swung open aggressively. He was standing in the door frame in just his boxers, which had tiny snitches on them. Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you want me to go like this, Lily? Because I will." She shook her head. "Then give me a damn minute."

She laughed and followed him into his room where he was pulling on his trousers. "Snitches? Really?"

James looked at her reflection in the mirror attached to his wardrobe as he pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up. "Sirius got them for me as a birthday present. They're comfy," he explained. She nodded and looked around, waiting on him to finish.

He slung his tie around his neck without tying it. He never tied his tie. She assumed he wanted everyone to think he was too cool and sexy to not follow the dress code. He grabbed his bag from its spot on the floor. "Ready?" She asked.

He nodded and they headed down to the dungeons for Potions. They had already missed breakfast since James had overslept.

James looked over at Lily. She waited on him instead of going down to breakfast. That had to be a good sign. As he was looking at her and not the path in front of him, he tripped on a step and almost fell. She laughed at him again, and he scowled as he pushed open the dungeon door.

There was Snape again in all of his greasy glory. He looked like he might puke when they walked in together, laughing. James flashed him a grin and winked at him, earning him a death glare. They settled onto their stools and James pulled out his cauldron, Lily her box of ingredients.

Slughorn, with some difficulty, stood up from his desk and waddled over to the chalkboard standing behind him. He faced them first. "Our class is considerably smaller this year, as many of your fellow classmates couldn't quite make the grade required for a class as rigorous as this." He smiled. "But not you! You all did outstanding on your exams and have shown that you can handle even the most difficult of potions. Now, we won't be starting out easily, so get right to work!" He turned his back to them and wrote _Amortentia_ on the board in his curved handwriting.

Lily smiled; she had always wanted to try to brew Amortentia. She pulled out her book and found the recipe. James chopped and grinded things, handing them to her as the class progressed. Occasionally, she would pause and shake her head. She'd take the ingredient James had just given her and either chop it more or change it in some way before adding it to the cauldron.

After an hour she finished her last clockwise turn and sat back. It shined and the steam rising from it curled in brilliant loops. Slughorn came totting by. "Ah, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, it is absolutely perfect! 10 points to Gryffindor."

Lily thanked him, then turned to James. "What does it smell like to you?" She asked. She just wanted to make sure it worked. She wasn't curious as to what James found enticing. Not at all.

 _Your perfume_ he immediately thought. He ran a hand through his hair, "Uh, broom polish, maybe that smell after it rains?" She nodded at him. Did she look disappointed? "What do you smell?" He asked cautiously.

Lily leaned forward, taking a deep breath of the smooth scent. She faintly smelled the aroma that could only be described as the cake her mother made on Christmas and the smell of musty books. But another smell was overwhelming her nostrils and she could barely make out the other two. She turned to James. "Well, I think that I smell my mum's cake, and maybe the old books in the library, but I can't tell, because the smell of your soap is so aggressive. Did you bathe with it or did you melt down the bar and roll around in it?" She asked, jokingly.

James shook his head. "I can't say that I did." He held his sleeve up and sniffed it. "I can't smell it at all." He lowered his arm. "Actually, yeah I didn't even take a shower this morning because I woke up-" He stopped, understanding washing over him.

Lily pulled her head away. "Because you what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, I just, I just didn't shower this morning. I guess it's just from yesterday morning."

Lily gave him a funny look, but then went back to the potion, looking at it. She took another deep inhale, trying to smell anything else. She smelled James' soap again and looked up. He had moved over to Sirius' and Remus' bench, nowhere near her.

Fuck no.

She shook her head. That was not what was happening.

She pulled a vial out of her bag and ladled some of the steamy mixture into it, then corked it and placed it on Slughorn's desk. She went back to her bench and vanished the rest. As soon as it was gone, she no longer smelled James' soap, even though he had returned to their bench and leaned over to hand her her knife.

God damn it. She knew what was happening, and she didn't like it. There was no way that she felt so strongly for James that she smelled his soap in Amortentia. She didn't even know what kind of soap he used.

She stared at him for what felt like a long time. Maybe she was being stupid. Maybe they could be together. It didn't have to be complicated.

"Lily?" James asked, watching her.

She shook her head to clear it. "Yeah?"

"Ready to go to Charms?" He held up her bag and gestured towards the door.

She nodded and followed him out of the dungeon. She got too caught up in the Amortentia; she wasn't thinking clearly. It wasn't that big of a deal. She would get over her feelings quickly. She wasn't in love. This was just a stupid crush.

James looked back at her and grinned. "Alright, Evans?"

Nothing but a crush.

She followed them and caught up to Sirius. "How'd your potion go?" She asked.

"I'm sure it wasn't perfect, but it worked," Sirius said.

"What did you smell?"

He smiled. "Chocolate, the smell of the forest, James' mum's pie."

"Chocolate and the smell of the forest?" Lily gave him a knowing look. "I wonder what those two could possibly mean."

Sirius smirked. "What can I say, I'm in love," he said back, laughing.

Lily smiled back, but was hesitant. Amortentia didn't equal love. Sirius just happened to be in love. Amortentia didn't mean you had to be in love with the things you smelled.

Right?

On the first Friday of the semester, James was laying on the couch in their common room watching the Snitch fly a few centimeters above his face. He heard someone open the portrait hole. He grabbed the Snitch out of the air and slid it into his pocket as he sat up.

Sirius and Remus climbed in. James groaned. "Don't let Lily know you figured out the password, okay?" He stood up. "What's up?"

"Are we going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Remus asked. The pair of them sat in the armchairs next to the fire.

"Yeah, 'course," he said.

"Maybe you should ask Lily," Sirius suggested.

"Maybe you should shove it," James retorted.

"Hey, come on mate. It was was just a thought," Sirius said.

He ran a hand through his hair. "We'll just go as group. Like always."

They all nodded, looking at each other in silence. James didn't know what to say. Luckily he didn't have to think of anything, as Marlene and Lily came through the portrait hole. They waved and sat down.

"Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Marlene asked. They all nodded. "Why's everybody so glum?" She asked. It was obvious no one was feeling overly ecstatic at the moment. "We just made it through our first week as seventh years, we should be celebrating!" She exclaimed, looking around at the rest.

"Let's celebrate tomorrow. I'm tired," James said, leaning back against the couch. Marlene frowned, but nodded.

Sirius, Remus, and Marlene all climbed out of the portrait hole, leaving James and Lily alone. He rolled his head over to left without picking it up off of the back of the couch. "Hey."

"Hey," Lily said, also leaning her head back against the couch.

James took a leap. "So the Amortentia the other morning-"

"I'm going to bed." She stood up. "Night, James."

James watched her go and sighed. He ran his hands over his face, groaning. He stood up and climbed the stairs to his bedroom slowly. Lily peeked her head out of her door and saw James close his. She sighed.

Just a stupid crush.


	29. It Takes an Army

"You would think we'd get bored of Hogsmeade at this point," Peter said as they walked down the path leading out of Hogwarts' grounds. It was a calm and bright autumn day.

"We are, but there's nothing else to do," James said, swinging his arms.

"We have done everything, haven't we?" Lily asked. "After seven years at this place it feels like we know everything and have done everything. What's left?"

"I'm sure Hogwarts still has more to reveal. Even Dumbledore doesn't know everything about this place," Remus said. Sirius had his arm over his shoulders and Remus had his fingers intertwined with the hand that hung there. Lily smiled at that. She was glad they got to be a real couple now.

Apparently Mrs. Potter found out that Sirius had been sneaking into Remus' room every night once they all went to bed. She was angry at first, but Sirius reminded her that at least he couldn't get anyone pregnant. Lily couldn't argue with that logic. Mrs. Potter couldn't either, though she still didn't condone it.

They came up on the Three Broomsticks and stepped inside, the smell of food and Butterbeer filling their nostrils. They grabbed a booth in the corner and settled in. Lily didn't sit down though.

"James and I have to do patrols and keep an eye on things. I'll take the first 'shift'," she used air quotations around shift, "and make sure no one is doing anything weird."

Marlene frowned. "Well, be careful, alright?"

Lily laughed. "I'll be back in five minutes, tops." She waved and turned to head out the door. James watched her go, smiling. He saw her through the window next to them and watched her start walking towards the border of Hogsmeade.

He heard a piercing scream, and suddenly they were all thrown from their seats. James landed with a thud on the had just exploded, engulfing the Three Broomsticks in flames. The entrance was on fire and people were screaming. He stood up immediately and looked around for his friends.

He helped Peter up and grabbed Marlene's hand. "Go!" he shouted. Peter ran, but Marlene still held onto him. "Marlene, go!" She looked torn, but turned and ran.

"Sirius!" James yelled. He and Remus were crumpled on the floor coughing. The smoke was spreading. James ran over and helped them up. "Are you alright?" They nodded. James looked back and saw the flames spreading. "Run, go! Go get help!" They nodded and climbed through the broken window next to the booth where they had just sat. The entrance was engulfed in flames and people were panicking.

"OVER HERE!" James bellowed, coughing from the smoke. "GET ON THE GROUND AND CRAWL OVER HERE!" Several students obeyed and made their way towards him. He helped the remaining six climb through the window and out to safety. "Run! Get back to the castle!" He shouted after them.

He turned back to help more, but the smoke was so thick he couldn't see anyone. "IS ANYONE THERE?" He yelled. The smoke made his eyes burn. Tears were streaming down his face and he was coughing violently. He didn't see anyone. He started to move towards the smoke, but was thrown back by another explosion. The fire must have hit the alcohol.

He had to get out. This place was going to come down, and soon. He struggled to crawl towards the window. He grabbed the sill and pulled himself up, the broken glass along the rim piercing his palms. He rolled out into the road, choking. He sucked in the fresh air and looked around.

People were running and panicking. He finally saw what had caused it.

There was the Dark Mark floating above them, menacingly glaring down on the town. James' stomach dropped.

He saw Alice fighting a tall man clad in a Death Eater mask and he ran to help her, his lungs on fire.

"STUPEFY!" he shouted. The Death Eater flew back and hit a tree.

"Thanks, James!" Alice shouted over her shoulder as she ran towards the unconscious man. She put him in a full body binding spell so he couldn't move even if he did wake up.

James nodded and turned back around. He ran through the town, helping people stand up, ordering them to get back to the castle. He saw Marlene using her wand to spray water over Zonko's, which was also on fire. He was about to stop to help her, but he saw Hannah being levitated in the air. Her face was frozen in a look of terror and her limbs jutted out at weird angles.

He barreled towards the Death Eater causing it and tackled her to the ground. Hannah fell from the sky and James had just enough time to whip around and yell, "ARRESTO MOMENTUM!". Her lifeless body slowed and dropped to ground, unscathed.

The Death Eater he had tackled was struggling against him. James pressed his knee into her chest and aimed a stunning spell at her head. The Death Eater immediately went unconscious, her eyes rolling back in her head and her body slumping to the ground.

James stood back up and looked around. Everything was on fire. People were screaming. It was complete and utter chaos.

He took off after another Death Eater.

Lily closed the door to the Three Broomsticks behind her and started towards the border of Hogsmeade. She took a deep breath of the crisp fall air and shoved her hands in her pockets. She lightly slid her hand around her wand, just in case.

These days, you never know.

She heard someone call her name and she turned around, looking back. Alice was jogging up to her smiling. "Hey!" She waved.

Then she heard a scream.

She whipped around and saw a small girl being thrown across the road. Coming down that road were twelve people, all dressed in black with hats that tapered into a sharp point and silver masks hiding their identities.

Lily whipped out her wand. One Death Eater, a woman, cackled and ran forward. She jerked her wand and the Three Broomsticks exploded. Lily's heart stopped. James was in there. She made to go help, but the fire's heat pushed her back. She couldn't see. She turned back around and saw the woman who caused it. She aimed a stunning spell at her, but the witch easily deflected.

Lily pushed forward, throwing every nonverbal spell she could think of at the woman, who kept cackling and dancing back. She was a psychopath.

She slashed her wand and hit the witch with Petrificus Totalus. The woman froze. Her knees locked and she fell back, hitting the ground with a dull thud. Ropes burst from Lily's wand and wrapped themselves around her, binding her limbs tightly to her torso.

Lily turned back around, but at that point the Three Broomsticks was engulfed in flames. She prayed to God, or Merlin, or whoever that James and the rest made it out safe.

She turned back and saw the Death Eaters moving into the town. Many had split off and were sending cursed fire at any building along their path, but some had stayed in a tight triangular formation and were marching down the street. Lily thought that was odd.

She ran forth though and sent a Disarming charm at the one on the flank. It didn't meet its mark and easily bounced off without the man lifting a finger. They had a shield around them. Lily cursed and ran towards Scrivenshaft's. The shopkeeper was standing in the road, supporting himself on one leg.

"Are you okay?" She yelled over the commotion. The man nodded weakly, but looked desperately at his shop, which was now falling apart in a fiery heap.

Lily tried putting out the fire, but Aguamenti wasn't working. She realized it was cursed fire; nothing she could do would stop it.

"Was anybody in there?" She asked.

"I don't, I don't think so-" The man's eyes widened. "Yes! There was someone near the front. I don't know if he got out!"

Lily didn't think. She just did. She blasted the door open and was met with a wall of smoke. She looked around wildly She saw a kid, much younger than her curled up in the corner, coughing. She waved frantically and yelled for him to come to her. Her voice was lost in the raging crackle of the flames, but he understood. He tried to crawl towards her, but a beam fell in front of him.

He fell back and cried out in pain. Sparks had jumped up and struck him in the face. Lily panicked.

She jumped over the beam, her ankle being licked by the flames, searing her skin. She cried out in pain as she landed next to the boy.

"Come on!" She yelled. He grabbed her tightly and she stood up. "Cover your eyes!" She ordered. The child did as he was told and covered his face with the hand that wasn't gripping her around the waist. She blasted the glass of the window out, creating a path for them. The smoke flew out in front of them, being sucked into the air outside.

She crouched down and he climbed onto her back. She pulled on every ounce of strength she had, her back twisting into a tight knot as she stood on the shelf and climbed out of the window, the child still clinging to her neck and shirt.

They landed out on the ground, hard. But they were safe. She coughed and choked, her leg spasming. "Go, get out. Run as fast as you can back to the castle!" The boy, still coughing, ran away from her.

She hoisted herself onto all fours, choking. She dry heaved, her abdomen clenching and her whole body convulsing as she tried to expel the smoke from her lungs. She was thrown back against the wall, her back slamming into it with a force that knocked the wind out of her. She crumpled on the ground, unable to move.

"Well, if it isn't little Mudblood Evans." She couldn't see the source of the voice, but she knew it was Goyle. A Slytherin who had graduated before her.

He kicked her in her side and pain exploded from the spot, her eyes watering. He kneeled next to her. "Now what am I going to do with you?" He drawled. He slapped her across the face, a white hot sting erupting from the contact.

Lily stared him down, hate filling up every fiber of her being. She stared into his eyes and mustered everything she had. She swung her arm up and made contact with his throat. He fell back, choking. _Purebloods never expect Muggle ways of fighting_ , she thought, amused at Goyle's stupidity. She stood up and grabbed her wand, which had fallen when she was hit. She hit him with a Stunning spell, then a full-body bind, making sure he couldn't move.

For good measure she kicked him as well.

She looked around. She could barely see anything. The smoke was spreading everywhere, giving the town a black and grey haze. She heard a another scream and she ran towards its source. There was a third year Hufflepuff pinned under a beam that had fallen from the outside of Zonko's. She levitated the beam off and pulled him away. The beam fell back behind them, splintering when it came down.

She held on tight to the Hufflepuff. He had a nasty gash on his head and he was losing consciousness. "No, come on, stay awake. You're okay. You have to stay awake." He his rolled back and forth, and Lily tried, with difficulty to move him forward.

Hagrid came bounding forward and Lily cried in relief. He lifted the boy up with ease. "Are ya alright, Lily?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm going back to look for others. Take him to the hospital wing." Hagrid nodded and bounded towards the castle. She whipped around, looking back at the damage behind her.

She ran towards the Three Broomsticks. "AGUAMENTI!" she shouted. Water rushed from her wand, dousing the flames. She did it again, calming some of the fire raging before her. This must have just been regular flames, not Fiendfyre. She heard coughing and panicked. Someone was under the rubble.

"HOLD ON, I'M COMING!" She levitated the broken wood and glass out of the way and crawled beneath the beams that had fallen. She didn't dare move those, in case they were holding what was left of the building up. "ARE YOU THERE?" she heard a faint groan and headed towards it. She cast a Bubble Charm around her mouth so she wouldn't breathe in too much smoke.

She crawled forward on all fours, entering the pub through the side closest to the bathrooms. Glass and rubble pierced Lily's hands and knees, drawing blood, but she pushed forward. She found the source of the cries. Lily reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling the girl towards her with all of her might. "I've got you, it's okay. Hold on to me." The girl nodded faintly, holding onto to Lily.

Lily held the girl against her stomach and tried to scoot back. She started moving forward, impeded by the young girl's weight and the splintered beams on top of them. She lunged forward, then stopped and caught her breath. She lunged again, covering small amounts of ground at a time. The debris under them tore at the back of her legs as she tried to slide out with the girl still holding on to her neck.

Eventually she surfaced, and she dragged the girl into the fresh air. "Are you alright?" The girl nodded, but her eyes were drooping and she was coughing violently. Lily cast another bubble charm on her too, giving her a reprieve from the smoke filled air.

McGonagall came rushing up. "Miss Evans!"

"Professor! She's inhaled too much smoke, she has to get to the hospital wing," Lily said, attempting to lift the girl and failing. She kneeled, half cradling the girl. McGonagall levitated her, and the Muggle Studies professor came running towards them.

"Get her to the castle, and if you see anyone along the way, send them down here!" McGonagall ordered. She nodded and levitated the girl beside her as she ran back towards the castle. McGonagall turned to Lily. "Are you alright?"

Lily nodded. "I'm trying to find more." McGonagall nodded back and sprinted off. Lily turned back towards the road and saw part of the owlery collapse. She rushed forward.

"IS ANYONE THERE?" She screamed. She delicately levitated the rubble away, hoping not to disturb it too much. It seemed as though everyone had it made it out.

James was tearing through the debris of Honeydukes. The candies and chocolates had been blasted off of the shelves, wrappers and ribbon strewn about. He could stand, but was hunched over, and he had to duck to climb through the broken beams and columns.

Every few seconds something would give and he would have to vanish it quickly before it hit anything.

"ANYONE IN HERE?" He shouted. He heard several faint cries and he moved towards the noises. "KEEP SHOUTING SO I CAN FIND YOU!"

He found two students huddled together under two shelves that had fallen together to form a tent shape. He reached out his hand and one grabbed it. He pulled them out and helped them towards the open window. He threw himself over them as a display collapsed. It struck him in the back and a burst of pain shot through up his spine.

"Are you okay?" One of the kids asked. He sucked in air and struggled to speak.

"Yes, go, just go!" They didn't need to be told twice. They climbed out of the window and James turned back around, still hunched over and grabbing his back.

He pulled out several more kids, most with their bones broken. They were lucky it wasn't something more. He lifted them all with difficulty as they ranged from third years to fully grown sixth years. He slung them over his shoulders or helped them stand up and trek through the rubble, dodging falling objects.

He had shuttled out eight kids. He wasn't sure what to do with them, so he laid them in the lane behind him, hoping that someone would see them and come help. He stood at the window and looked back. "IF YOU'RE STILL IN HERE, YELL FOR ME! I'M COMING!" He bellowed.

More voices called out to him. His strength faltered for a moment and he put his hands on his knees, his breath ragged. He couldn't do this. He wasn't strong enough.

He heard another cry of pain and he looked back up. It didn't matter if he was strong enough. He had to keep moving pushed his way through more debris and saw a small hand poking out from underneath a shelf. He squatted down, lifting the shelf up on his shoulders with all of his might. "Go! Go! Go!" The kid crawled out and ran, just as James lost his grip on the shelf and it came crashing down again. He knelt, his hands on his knees, panting heavily. He heard more shouting.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" He yelled. Another voice came from the corner. He crawled under one of the beams that had fallen against the counter and threw some planks out of the way. He saw Charles pinned under a crate. His leg was sticking out at a weird angle. "Charlie! I got you Charlie." Charles nodded, his face twisted with pain.

James reached him and pushed the crate off, breathing heavily. Charles was laying on the ground, unable to move. James knelt down, picked him up, and pulled him onto his back. Charles cried out in pain. "I'm sorry!" He yelled. Charles tried to say it was fine, but then gasped and bit his lip so hard it drew blood.

More beams had fallen and James couldn't stand upright anymore. He crawled with Charles on his back, his legs dragging awkwardly behind them. They reached a point about eight feet from the window where it opened up and he could stand.

James adjusted himself so that Charles was slung over his shoulders, his head against James' right bicep, his legs dangling from James' left shoulder. He got into a squat and pushed himself upward, groaning the entire time. He reached a standing position, hunched under Charles' weight. "I got you, mate. It's gonna be okay." Charles let out a strangled noise and James trudged forward.

He took his steps painstakingly slow, staggering under the weight. His lungs were burning and sweat was dripping into his eyes. His knees felt like they may give out any second. He stood, centimeters from the window. He slowly lifted one leg and found his footing on the window, and swung his other leg up to meet his first.

He was a meter above the ground. He tried to step down slowly, but his leg gave out and he fell to his knees, his own weight and Charles' slamming his kneecaps into the hard dirt. He yelled in agony, shockwaves of pain pulsing throughout his body, blinding him. He let Charles slide down his back onto the ground next to him. He had lost consciousness.

James tried to stand, but his legs gave out. He fell to his knees again, his lungs and muscles burning. His back spasmed and he fell onto all fours. He stayed like that, breathing through the pain. He eventually sat back on his heels and looked around. He didn't know if there was anyone else in Honeydukes, or if he should try to start taking all of these people up to the castle.

The Death Eaters were gone, as far as James could tell. He thought about how he could get everyone back to the castle. He couldn't carry them up one by one, but he might be able to levitate them.

He stood up and attempted to levitate one of the kids. She screamed out in pain as her leg dropped below her body in the free air. James panicked and gently laid her back down. "I'm sorry!" He looked around again. "I don't know what to do!" He shouted, to no one in particular.

He looked back at the castle and saw Hagrid bounding towards him, a makeshift wagon in tow.

"JAMES!" He bellowed. "Help me put the kids in the wagon. I'm gonna take everyone up to the castle. Pomfrey's got everything set up in the entrance hall."

James nodded and started levitating the kids into the wagon, being careful not to bump them on the sides. They all cried with pain and screamed when he moved them. He tried to do it as fast as possible. Once they were all in, Hagrid started running back to the castle with the wagon trailing behind him.

James turned back around and looked around. He panicked.

 _Where is Lily?_

He started running through Hogsmeade, helping anyone he saw, but he was screaming for Lily. "LILY! LILY, WHERE ARE YOU?" He didn't see her or hear her anywhere. The only consolation he had was that she had already gone out of the Three Broomsticks when it exploded. But then she was out in the open when the Death Eaters attacked, he realized.

His stomach turned and he was sweating, his voice hoarse from the smoke and the yelling.

He stopped. Maybe she had gotten out and was up at the castle. He was at the edge of the town already. He turned back. Everything had calmed down. There was still smoke lazily floating through the air, but there was no one fighting, and it seemed as everyone had either made it back to the castle or was sitting in the street.

He looked around, trying to find her fiery red hair anywhere. He didn't see anything, which only made his heart beat faster. _Where was she?_ He went to every shop, ruined or not, and said, "Homenum Revelio" The spell didn't reveal anyone in the first three.

In the fourth, the owlery, he found a Slytherin, knocked unconscious, but otherwise unscathed. He shook his shoulder. "Come on, wake up." Nothing happened. James pointed his wand at his chest and whispered, "Rennervate."

The Slytherin gasped loudly and clutched at James' robes. He panted heavily, then looked around wildly. "What happened?"

James shushed him and helped him stand up. "You're okay. Death Eaters attacked, but you're okay." The Slytherin nodded, still panting. "Can you make it to the castle by yourself?" James asked.

"Yeah, I, I think so." He let go of James and hobbled out of the post office and started back towards the castle. James watched him for a minute, making sure that he was okay, then went back to trying to find Lily.

He did the spell on the rest of the shops in Hogsmeade, but didn't find anyone else. He was alone.

Lily was struggling to carry someone she recognized as a third year Slytherin up towards the castle, her legs threatening to give out any second. Though the child was petite, Lily was not accustomed to carrying eighty or ninety pounds in her arms as she staggered the kilometers back to the castle.

"LILY!" Lily turned around with difficulty and saw Hagrid running towards her, pulling a wagon full of children behind her. "GET IN!" She nodded and hoisted the child onto the wagon. It was then that she noticed the blood.

A gash was slashed across the boy's stomach, and blood was pouring out in dark red bursts. She ripped off her cloak. "HURRY!" Hagrid yelled back at her. She jumped in the back and pressed the cloth into his stomach trying with all of her might to stop the bleeding.

She pulled out her wand, her hands slick with his blood. She tried casting every healing spell she knew, but nothing worked. The gash remained open, spilling blood onto her knees and hands. She pressed her cloak back onto it and prayed that he would make it back to castle.

The wagon jostled back and forth and Lily realized how much pain she was in. Every muscle in her body screamed, and her lungs couldn't take in a full breath. Her throat burned and she could barely speak. She looked over and saw another student clutching their leg. Their shin bone was peeking out, and Lily's heart stopped.

Keeping one hand firmly pressed into the Slytherin's stomach, she used her wand to cut a piece of fabric from the bottom of her cloak and threw it at the boy. "Tie this around your knee as tight as you can!"

He nodded, tears streaming down his face. She looked around again, seeing if anyone else had anything as serious. Everyone seemed to be relatively okay considering the situation they were in, but there were definitely broken bones and bruises on everyone. She heard shouting and looked up. They had arrived at the castle. Madam Pomfrey was shouting, directing people and trying to triage people as they came in.

"MADAM POMFREY!" Lily screamed. She looked up and ran towards her, seeing Lily covered in blood.

Hagrid was lifting the kids who were more stable out of the wagon, giving Madam Pomfrey a clear path. She hopped into the wagon and kneeled next to them.

She pulled Essence of Dittany out of her pocket and started dumping it on the gash through the Slytherin's stomach. Lily sat back, her arms and torso covered in blood. The wound started to close and it stopped bleeding.

"Madam Pomfrey, I tried. I tried to stop the bleeding but it wouldn't close. It kept opening again. I didn't know what to do, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She started crying. No tears were coming forth though, just ragged sobs that made her stomach clench and her shoulders give.

"This couldn't be stopped by spell alone. This is Dark Magic." She looked up at Lily. "You did what you could. You saved his life."

Lily tried breathing deeply, calming her erratic breath, then looked at the kid with the bone sticking out of his leg. She reached over and tied the cloth tighter, to which he screamed. "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

"Miss Evans, can you get him off of the wagon? I'll deal with that." She gestured at the bone. Lily moved back over to the first boy.

He looked up at her, his face deathly pale. "Thank you," he croaked. She nodded, then helped him slide off of the wagon. She slid under his arm and helped him hobble into the castle entrance hall, supporting more of his weight than she thought she would have been able to. They stumbled over the threshold and McGonagall came over, hunching over and sliding herself under the boy's other side. They helped him over to one of the cots they had set up and laid him down gently.

He looked up at them bleakley and mouthed "Thank you," before losing consciousness.

Lily turned back to McGonagall. "Are we sure we got everyone out of Hogsmeade?"

McGonagall nodded, "We can't be sure, but it seems everyone is back. I've sent everyone up to their dorms. You should go too."

Lily shook her head. "I'm not going back. I'm staying here until we know everyone is okay."

"Very well." McGonagall handed her some rags. "You can start cleaning people up."

Lily nodded and went into the Great Hall where the rest had been placed. There were a dozen students slumped against the wall, their gashes healed and their bones repaired. She limped over to them, kneeling down next to Hufflepuff prefect.

She whispered "Aguamenti" and pointed her wand into the rag. It became wet, and she started wiping the dried blood off of his face. There was some crusted into his hair, so she wet it and tried to wipe the dried blood out. He was crying. She finished wiping away the blood. "It's okay. You're safe now. We're all okay." He nodded and she moved onto the next person. As she came to kneel in front of the next injured person, she had to stop to cough. The coughs shook her whole body, and she couldn't catch her breath. She clutched her spasming abdomen with her arm and held her other hand to cover her mouth. She pulled her hand away from face and saw fresh, dark red blood had coated her fingers. She was coughing up blood.

 _That can't be good_ , she thought. She shook her head and wiped the blood on her torn trousers, moving on.

She helped people get cleaned up until everything had calmed down. She stood up and looked at McGonagall. "What do we do now?"

"We make sure everyone returns to their dorms safely, and then the Heads of Houses will all make sure everyone got out." McGonagall said. Her, Professor Slughorn, Professor Sprout, and Professor Sinistra all started herding their students towards their dorms.

Lily helped McGonagall at first, but the professor turned to her. "Lily, go back to the tower. I'll deal with this. Everyone is okay now."

Lily faltered, but then she started sprinting towards Gryffindor tower. She didn't care if her legs felt like they might give out. She didn't care if her lungs felt like they might burst.

She only cared about one thing.

She didn't know where James was. He was in the Three Broomsticks when it exploded. The only consolation she had was that she didn't find him in the rubble when she was searching. She burst into the common room. All of the Gryffindors were sitting around looking grim. Most of them jumped when she came in. She locked eyes with James.

"Lily."

"James."

James crossed the common room in two bounds. He went to wrap his arms around her, but she threw her hands around his neck and kissed him deeply.

He was petrified. She pulled away, but then he pulled her back in. Their lips pressed against each other, and Lily could feel his heart beating. He felt her small, warm hands behind his smell of her perfume mixed with the smell of smoke and blood filled his nostrils. He didn't care. They only thing he could feel was her lips. They forgot the world around them. Their only focus was each other.

He pulled away, breathless. "I was so scared-"

"I didn't know where you were-"

"I thought I lost you-"

"I love you," Lily whispered through tears.

James pressed his forehead into hers. "I love you so much." They looked into each other's eyes, holding each other.

"Yeah, and we're okay too, Lily," Marlene said sarcastically.

Lily was pulled from James gaze. She stepped out his arms and looked at everyone sitting in the common room. "I'm sorry."

Sirius laughed. "It's about time."

Lily looked down sheepishly. "Are you all alright?"

"Apparently better than you, Lils," Mary said, indicating the blood drenching her shirt.

James noticed it for the first time and looked at her, stricken. "What happened?"

She shook her head. "This isn't my blood. I was pulling people out of the rubble and I had to stop someone's bleeding."

"What about your hands?" James asked, grabbing her hand and turning it so her bloody palm was facing upwards.

"I cut them on glass when I was pulling people out from the Three Broomsticks, they're fine. People had it a lot worse than me," she said, attempting to brush him off. The gashes on her hands and the scrapes on the back of her legs said otherwise, but she would deal with that later.

James was about to say something, but was interrupted by McGonagall entering the room. A hush fell over the room as everyone quieted and turned to face her.

"Is everyone alright?" McGonagall asked. Everyone more or less nodded. "Does anyone know if we're missing anyone?"

Everyone shook their head. McGonagall sighed. "I'm glad you all are okay." She hesitated, trying to gather her words. "I don't know what to tell you, except that from now on we have to be on our guard." All of the Gryffindors looked down, grimly nodding. "I have to go tend to the other students. Go to your dorms, get some sleep."

With that she turned on her heel and left. Everyone dissipated except for the seventh year Gryffindors. Lily hugged Marlene, Mary, and Alice. "Are you all okay?"

They all nodded. Lily looked at their faces, which were streaked with tears, grime, and blood.

"Do you think everyone made it out okay?" Alice asked, looking worried.

"I checked Hogsmeade after everything calmed down. No one was left in the village," James said. Lily turned back and hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. He kissed the top of her head and she exhaled slowly.

She stepped back, looking around. "Wait," she turned around, "where's Peter?"

James looked around, then at Sirius, who shrugged. "When was the last time you saw him?" He asked.

Remus shook his head. "In the Three Broomsticks. We all made it out, then when I turned around he was gone."

"He probably ran, like the coward he is," Sirius scoffed.

"Don't call him a coward, Sirius. We need to find him," Lily said, looking back at Marlene. Marlene nodded back at her, and Lily made to exit the portrait hole in pursuit of him.

James stopped her. "Wait here, I think I can figure out where he is." He turned to head up the staircase, but didn't need to, as Peter climbed through the portrait hole at that moment.

Sirius laughed. "There you are! We were just wondering where you went."

Peter narrowed his eyes back at him. "It took you this entire time to start wondering about where I was?" His tone was biting.

James patted him on the shoulder. "Come on Wormy, there was a lot of commotion, we all just got back."

"But you all found each other. You all made sure you all were fine. But nobody gave a shit where I was," Peter retorted.

Sirius stood up and stepped towards him, towering several inches above him. "We wouldn't have had to wonder where you went if you weren't such a bloody coward. Where did you even go?"

Peter recoiled, but answered. "I ran! I thought you all were going to run too! Why would we stay there?"

Sirius looked furious. "To make sure no one died, Wormtail! To make sure that everyone was okay!"

"I couldn't have done anything!" He protested.

"Lily was crawling through rubble and treating wounds. James was lifting people out of the wreckage with his bare hands. Remus and I were chasing down the Death Eaters. Marlene and Alice were putting out the fires. Mary was carrying people up to the castle. What the fuck do you mean you couldn't have done anything?" Sirius shouted at him, fury blazing in his dark eyes.

Lily stepped up between them. "Come on guys, it's over now. We're all okay it's-"

Sirius pushed her arm away. "No, I want to know why you're in Gryffindor if you can't even be brave enough to make sure your friends are okay."

"You didn't make sure I was-"

He was cut off by Sirius laughing. "We were a little busy actually being fucking useful. Not running away."

"You can't talk to me like that!" Peter yelled back.

"I can't? What are you going to do?" Sirius said, smirking.

Peter looked up at him, but then recoiled again. James pulled Sirius back. "Come on. This isn't worth it. We're glad you're okay, Wormtail."

"Are you?" He asked, glaring at Sirius.

Sirius made to make a comment, but James cut him off. "Yes. Now let's all get cleaned up and get some sleep, okay?"

Sirius nodded and headed upstairs. Remus followed him, but Peter sat down on the couch. He was the only one that wasn't run ragged. Lily looked at everyone before they parted. They all had blood crusted on them, bruises and scrapes across their arms and legs, soot and dirt smeared across their faces. James looked at Lily, who shrugged and shook her head sadly.

She hugged Marlene, Alice, and Mary one more time. "I'm so glad you're all okay. I love you guys."

"I love you too," they all said in unison. They pulled away, all of them with tears in their eyes. Lily nodded at them, then James took her hand and they exited the portrait hole, headed for their dorm.

They reached their common room, and Lily stepped in, then turned back around to James. He was about to say something, but she cut him off by grabbing his face in her hands and kissing him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she tangled her hand in his hair. She stood up on her tiptoes.

She pulled away and whispered, "I love you, I'm sorry it me so long to-"

James shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. I love you. We're safe, we're together." He buried his face in her hair. "I'm so glad you're okay. I thought-"

Lily shook her head. "It's okay. Nothing happened. We're okay." James nodded and kissed her forehead, then kissed her again.

He didn't care that she was covered in blood. She was all he could think about. Her touch, her lips filled his entire existence. Nothing else was real to him except for her.

Lily leaned into him, feeling his strong arms around her. She felt safe and calm for the first time in a long time. She kissed him, feeling his soft lips pressing against hers.

He laughed and the movement made Lily's lip tingle. She pulled back, smiling. "What?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing, it's just," He ran a hand through his hair. "It took seven years and an attack on Hogsmeade for us to get together."

"Well you know what they say."

"What do they say?"

She pulled him back in and whispered against his mouth. "It takes an army."

* * *

A/N: Can you say FINALLY? It has been a slow burn, but I'm glad you guys stuck around until now! And we're not even halfway done! See you soon!


	30. A Long Time Coming

Lily stood in the shower watching all of the blood slide down her legs and swirl in the water before slipping down the drain. She stood facing the faucet, her hand pressed up against the white porcelain, supporting her.

Her skin was torn and bruised. The warm water stung her cuts, flushing out the grime within them. It hit her back, beating her skin with tiny droplets until she went numb to the sensation. She was still coughing up blood and black phlegm from all of the smoke she inhaled. Her face felt hot and she could barely stand.

She climbed out and wrapped a towel around herself, water dripping from her hair and feet. She wiped the steam off of the mirror and looked at her reflection. She had a gash across her face from when she landed on it. Bruises colored her arms and legs, scrapes patterned her skin.

She grabbed her wand from its spot on the counter and muttered incantations, watching her skin knit itself back together, stopping the blood.

She turned to look at the back of her legs. They were by far the most injured. Large cuts ran from her upper thigh to her knee. There were still pieces of glass and debris lodged in the skin.

In the adrenaline rush she hadn't realized the extent of her injuries. She worked for several minutes on healing those, watching her legs return to the smooth, pale skin it was before. She pulled on a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt, then cautiously opened her door.

She saw James sitting on the couch, his hair wet. He had showered off as well. She walked down the steps and came up behind him. "Do you have anything that needs to be healed?"

He shook his head. "I'm okay." He laughed. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sore for weeks, but I don't think I can fix that."

"I had to lift a couple of kids, and I think I tore every muscle in my body." She looked up and him and moved closer. He put his arm around her and pulled her in close, kissing her forehead.

"I lifted an entire shelf off of someone _and_ I carried Charlie out of Honeydukes," James said. He ran his hand through his hair, "It was very heroic, you should have seen it."

Lily smiled slightly. "I'm sure it was." She leaned fully into him, her cheek against his chest. Her head lifted with every rise and fall of his breath, and he could hear his heart drumming out a slow and steady beat. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Is that because you loooovvvee me?" He teased.

She sat up and looked at him. "We almost died, I confessed my love for you, and now you're making fun of me?"

"Yes, because you loooovveee me." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "Say it." She rolled her eyes. "Come on love, you know you want to say it."

She grinned, "I, Lily Jane Evans, of sound mind and body, love James Fleamont Potter with everything I have."

He stared at her, his eyes wide. So much had happened in the past twelve hours he hadn't actually, truly processed this. Lily Evans, perfect, smart, funny, gorgeous, incredible Lily Evans, just told him she loves him with everything she has.

"If this is a dream I don't ever want to wake up," he said. She pinched him. "Ow!"

She leaned forward and kissed him lightly. "It's not a dream."

"Thank Merlin." She laughed and he pulled her close again. They laid on the couch, entangled and content until they fell asleep.

The next morning Lily woke up before James. He was on his back, his arm slung around her with his hand holding her hip. She picked her head up off of his chest and looked at him.

He hadn't taken off his glasses last night and they were askew. His mouth was hanging open, dried drool crusted on the corner of his mouth. He was breathing heavily. She watched him for a moment, smiling. She had fallen for him, hard. He had become her everything. Her rock, her confidant, her best friend. He made her laugh and forget about all of the horrible things in world, even if just for a second.

 _I'm in love with James Potter._ She thought. If only fourth year Lily could see her now.

Fourth year didn't matter anymore, though. Both she and James were nowhere near the same person they were three years ago. And she had to admit, she liked where they ended up. He snorted and his glasses fell further down his face. She really did.

She tapped his chest lightly and he woke up. "Mm-yeah?" He said groggily. He pushed his glasses up and saw Lily looking up at him. He smiled. "How are you this beautiful in the morning?"

She rolled her eyes. "Probably because I don't have drool dribbled on my face."

James laughed up and they both sat up. He wiped the drool off and kissed her on the head. "I'm going to get changed. Don't go anywhere."

"What if I want to get changed?" She asked. James shook his head. He sprinted up the steps. She laughed and went up to her room. She pulled on a sweater and a pair of leggings. She brushed her teeth and combed her hair.

She walked over to her door and pulled it open to see James standing with his hands on his hips. "I thought I told you not to go anywhere," he scolded.

"When have I ever listened to anything you say?" She asked, smiling and walking past him. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. She laughed, swatting at his hands. "James, stop!"

He buried his face in her neck. "Never."

She tried to walk, pulling James along after her. She stumbled under his weight and leaned on the wall for support. "James!" He laughed and let go, allowing her to go down the stairs. She crossed the common room and went to open the portrait hole.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To go see our other friends," she said over her shoulder. James ran after her. He slung his arm around his waist as they walked. She smirked up at him. "Afraid I'm going to run away?"

"I have to make up for lost time, love," he grinned, "because _someone_ was too stubborn to admit she loved me."

"Well, what if I don't want to display our relationship publicly?" She asked. She was just teasing him. She wanted to sprint to the Astronomy tower and scream it to anybody who could hear.

"Oooh, you probably shouldn't have kissed me and told me you love me in front of the entire Gryffindor house then," he said. He couldn't stop smiling.

She laughed and leaned into him as they reached the portrait hole. They gave the password and stepped in. No one was in the common room. Everyone was probably either exhausted from yesterday or too upset to do anything.

Lily frowned. She didn't really think about how traumatizing this must have been to everyone, especially the ones who got hurt.

"I'm going to go see if they're awake," Lily said, pointing at the girls' staircase. James nodded and headed up his own steps.

Lily slowly opened the door, peeking her head in. She saw Mary sitting on the windowsill, her knees pulled up to her chest, resting her chin on them. She smiled when she saw Lily walk in the room. She couldn't tell if the others were awake, since their bed curtains were closed. She tiptoed over to the window and sat down.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Mary nodded.

"Just shaken up." She sighed and looked out the window again. "Hogwarts always seemed so safe. Nothing could get us here. Sure, people got into fights, but it was never anything serious. This was so," she paused, trying to think of the right word, "so real. Does that make sense? Like, we knew it was happening. People were murdered. But it always seemed far off. Like something was going to stop it, or something was going to happen." She turned back to Lily. "But now it just seems so real." Lily nodded, knowing what she meant. She looked at Lily out of the corner of her eye. "Someone died yesterday."

Lily felt like the blood rushed out of her. "What?"

"I heard McGonagall talking about it last night, down in the common room. I don't know who it was. I don't even know if there was more than one. But someone died."

Lily opened her mouth, but then closed it again. "But that's," she stopped, "That's not possible. I pulled people out of the rubble. I checked if anyone was left. No one was missing." She shook her head. "That's not possible."

"Maybe I heard her wrong," Mary offered, though Lily knew she didn't mean that.

Lily quieted and stared out the window too. Someone could have died after they were brought back. Could it be the Slytherin boy who almost bled out on her? What if someone was cursed and no one knew?

Marlene poked her head out of the curtains surrounding her bed. "If you're going to talk this loud at eight in the morning on a Sunday then we might as well go eat while you're doing it."

Both Mary and Lily looked at each other, half smiling. Marlene threw on a quidditch t-shirt and a pair of jeans. They walked out of the room and headed towards the portrait hole. Sirius came running down the steps. "Don't leave without me!"

Lily watched him come down the steps, Remus and James in tow. Peter didn't come down though. Lily frowned. Everyone started towards the portrait hole, but she put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, stopping him. He gave her a confused look. "You have to stop being so hard on Peter. He didn't deserve what you said last night," she said.

"Yes he did!" Sirius protested.

James shook his head. "He was just scared, Padfoot. Lots of Gryffindors ran. It doesn't make them cowards."

"But this is different."

Remus stepped forward. "It's not. Peter knows he's not as good as defense as we are. He genuinely thought he wouldn't be able to help us. It's not fair of you to blame him for that. I really think you should apologize."

Sirius frowned and opened his mouth, but James spoke first. "He's still a Marauder. He's still one of your best friends, no matter what happened. You know when it came down it, he would die for us, just like any of us would die for him." Sirius didn't say anything, but rather climbed through the portrait hole and left.

James, Remus, and Lily all shared a look. They weren't sure how to fix this.

They made it down to breakfast. The Gryffindor table was sparsely populated, as was the rest of the Great Hall. James figured everyone was either still in the hospital wing or to upset to come down. They all walked in, and James saw Charles. He stood up and came towards them. He grabbed James' hand and pulled him into a hug. "You saved my life James."

James laughed awkwardly. "It was nothing. I'm glad you're okay."

Charles shook his head. "It wasn't nothing. You risked your life to get me out of there. You lifted me up with your bare hands, even though it must have been impossible." He let him go. "You're the bravest person I know, James. I won't ever be able to repay you." There were tears in his eyes, and James pulled him back in for another hug.

"Gryffindors look out for each other," he said. Charles nodded and returned to his seat at the table.

They all took a seat on the benches, grabbing plates and food. Marlene laughed. "You're a hero, James."

"I'm pretty sure we all are in some way or another," James said.

They all smiled and nodded. No one talked much during breakfast. There was a quiet, solemn energy hanging over the hall. They were all scared to break the silence. It felt blasphemous.

Charles was not the only one to show his appreciation. Lily and James spent the rest of the day hugging and comforting people they pulled out of the rubble and saved. James couldn't deny that he loved the attention, but he wished it wasn't necessary. He could feel the shift. No one laughed in the common room that day. No one played chess or studied. They all sat, staring off into space, occasionally making a quick comment before falling silent again.

Lily wished she could do something. She tried comforting people, reminding them that they were safe. They all thanked her, but she could tell that weren't fully convinced.

She wasn't even sure she was convinced by her own words. The whole day she smiled and tried to help people, but it was like she could feel her own self, her own emotions and feelings pulsing underneath the fake, brave exterior she was showing everyone that day.

The war had been brewing for a long time, and it had finally reached them.


	31. What Defines A Man

The next morning classes had been cancelled. Lily wished they hadn't. She needed a distraction.

They were all called into the Great Hall; she and James lead the Gryffindors down, making sure everyone sat and paid attention. They sat next to their friends and watched Dumbledore rise from his seat to step up to his golden podium. He coughed lightly before speaking, his voice amplified.

"As you all can see, many of us are seated here today. You are safe." he paused, looking out over the crowd of students. "However, this is not the case for everyone." the sound of students murmuring to each other spread across the hall.

He held his hand up and everyone quieted. "To my greatest regrets, two of our own passed on yesterday." Several gasps and strangled sobs punctuated his sentence. "They both died peacefully in the hospital wing under the care of Madam Pomfrey. She tried her hardest, but in the end their wounds were too severe."

"This is a time for grieving. But this is also a defining time in our history. Voldemort-" several people gasped or yelped when he said his name, "Voldemort and his followers will show no mercy to anyone."

"They have proven that they disregard human life, magical or not. They do not care who lives or who dies. They only want to spread terror. They want to create chaos. To turn us all against each other and rip apart our world until there is nothing left but fear and carnage." He shook his head solemnly. "But we cannot let that happen."

"Grieve. Support one another. Hold each other close and realize that the power you hold comes from the strength of your loved ones. _You_ have a reason to oppose them that is stronger than _anything_ they could ever even fathom. Do not allow them to take that away from you."

"I am not asking you to lay your life down. Far from it. I am asking you to recognize that Voldemort's power is weak. He fights for selfish reasons. He wants dominance and power, but his own desires are nothing compared to what love can achieve."

"Together, we are stronger than he will ever be. It does not matter if they outnumber us. It does not matter if they scare us. We can overcome this. We _will_ overcome this." He fell silent and the Great Hall exploded into applause.

James looked around. Everyone still looked scared, but he could tell that Dumbledore's speech comforted and inspired them. He always seemed to have that effect. He looked over at the Slytherin table, not seeing what he expected. Most people, James included, assumed that everyone in Slytherin was either from a Death Eater family or at least supported Voldemort's cause.

This was not the case. Most of the table had joined in the raucous applause and were hugging each other or holding hands. The pureblood supremacy that clouded their house didn't matter anymore, it seemed. They were there yesterday. They saw what Voldemort could do, and they realized that they didn't want to be a part of that.

James heart swelled with pride. They were going to fight this.

And they were going to win.

"James, McGonagall told me Dumbledore wants to see you." A fourth year called out as she passed by them. They were all sitting around the common room fire, staring into the flames and not talking.

Lily picked her head up off of his shoulder. "Just you?"

He shrugged and stood up. "I guess." He turned and left the common room.

The corridor was cold and eerily quiet. He wrapped his arm around him and rubbed them in an attempt to warm himself up.

His steps echoed and bounced off of the stone walls, creating a rhythmic beat. He walked quickly, as being alone in the castle felt strange. He had done it a million times before, but this time it felt different. Wrong.

He came up to the giant statue blocking the entrance and looked up at it. "Pumpkin pasty," he said to it. The Heads were sent the updated password every time it changed. The statue sprang to life and slid out of the way, granting him passage. He ascended the staircase slowly, his heart pounding. He didn't know why Dumbledore wanted to talk to him, but he always felt nervous in his office. Probably because they only times he had been in there was when he and McGonagall were scolding him and his friends for their latest prank.

He knocked lightly on the door and it creaked open its own accord. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, his chin to his chest, his hands clasped in front of him. He was breathing lightly.

"Professor?" James asked cautiously. Dumbledore looked up and smiled.

"Please, take a seat." He gestured to the chair across from him. James sat down and sat on his hands to keep from fidgeting. "Do you know why I asked for you to come see me?" James shook his head and Dumbledore smiled. "I suppose the antics of mad old man never make sense to you young folk."

"I don't think you're mad, Professor," James said.

"Thank you, James." He smiled and looked at him over his glasses. He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. "Do you understand why I made you Head Boy?"

James hung his head. "I really don't, sir."

He chuckled lightly. "You're so smart, James. I would have expected you to figure it out by now." James shook his head, not making eye contact. No matter how old he got, he knew he would never be able to feel like anything more than a small child when talking to Dumbledore. "I suppose it came as a surprise. I know it did to many other people. In fact, Mr. Diggory came to my office to protest my choice."

"I think he would have made a better Head Boy than me, Professor." He wrung his hands. "I wasn't even a prefect. I don't deserve it."

Dumbledore shook his head. "The fact that you don't think you deserve is indicative of how far you've come." James looked up at him, meeting his eye. "Yes, Mr. Diggory or Mr. Lupin were prefects before, and they were good prefects. They kept people from getting into too much trouble. But that's not what I was looking for in a Head Boy," he stated. James gave him a confused look. "I appreciate their hard work for the past couple of years, but that isn't enough. During these times Hogwarts needs a leader. You have always been a natural leader, James. Everyone has always looked up to you." He laughed lightly. "Though I did wish they were inspired by your other qualities rather than your pranking and shenanigans."

James dipped his head, feeling abashed. "I'm sorry."

"There is no need to apologize. We all have done some things we regret in our youth. Myself included." He paused for a moment, and James saw a strange emotion cross his face, but it was gone as soon as it came. "But that does not matter now. What matters is the man you have become."

"I'm not sure if I'm a man, sir," James replied.

Dumbledore shook his head. "A man is not defined by his age, but rather his actions." He smiled. "I would not have wanted anyone else in Hogsmeade yesterday. Your courage, your willingness to place your own self in danger in order to save others. That is why I chose you to be Head Boy. And more importantly, that is what defines you as a man."

He smiled before continuing. "I have heard several stories of how both you and Miss Evans saved countless lives yesterday. Though I knew how brave you both were, I would have never expected to see such courage and selflessness in the face of such a terrifying event," Dumbledore said, calmly.

James nodded. "I'm sure anyone would have done what we did, though."

Dumbledore shook his head and stood up. "No, I'm not sure they would have. You are both fiercely brave, uncommonly kind, and wonderful people, James." He turned to face a shimmering bowl of water that levitated a few feet off of the ground. He stared into its depths for a few moments before turning back to James.

"I know I don't even have to ask, but I hope that once you finish school you will join me and our efforts to fight against Voldemort."

James blinked. "Yes, of course we will, Professor. Of course we will. I want to do everything I can."

Dumbledore smiled. James could tell he knew that was exactly what he was going to say. "Excellent." He opened the door. "You may go now, James. Thank you for your time." He patted him on the shoulder as he left. "I am so proud of you," he said quietly.

James smiled to himself and walked down the steps.

Lily sat in their common room reading through her charms book. She had a piece of parchment and a quill next to her, but she hadn't started on her essay yet.

It seemed as if the castle was holding its breath. The professor's lectures were quiet. They had barely assigned any homework. The students shuffled through the corridors, the normal raucous noise they normally created gone. Lily felt like she was holding her breath too. She walked on eggshells around everyone besides James. She didn't know how upset everyone was, and she didn't want to make anything worse.

She heard the portrait hole open and she turned around. Sirius was climbing through.

She rolled her eyes. "You figured out the new password?" She made James change it once she found out he had told everyone.

"It wasn't that hard to guess," he said, smirking. Lily nodded. It was now 'Lily loves James'. Clever. He put his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet. "Is James around?"

She shook her head. "He's out flying." Sirius nodded. He turned to leave. "Wait." He turned back around. "Did you," she paused, "did you need to talk about something?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Obviously not," she said. She gestured to the chair across from her.

Sirius smiled and sat down. "It's really nothing," he started.

"Tell me and I'll decide," she said, sitting back in her chair.

"It's my brother, Regulus." He sighed. "I knew that he had been hanging around Snape and the others, but I didn't think he'd be doing anything more than just, you know, just being a dick or something." Lily nodded. "I heard him talking, talking to Avery, the other day. Right after the attack. I went to go find him, make sure he was okay, but I found them talking in the hallway outside of their dorm."

"What were they talking about?" Lily asked.

"I didn't hear all of it, but he was scared at first. He told him that they couldn't do stuff like this to Hogwarts kids." Sirius smirked ruefully. "So I guess that means Avery and others were in on the attack."

Lily's heart started to beat fast. Did Snape help them?

"But Avery told him they had to do it." Sirius looked sick. "They had to do it 'purge the dirty blood' from our world." Lily made a noise of disgust. Sirius nodded his head in agreement. "He still sounded scared, but he got more convinced as they kept talking." Sirius sighed and put his head in hands. "Lils, I think he's going to take the Dark Mark."

Lily's eyes widened in shock. "But that's-" she wasn't sure what to say. She started over. "He's only 15! They wouldn't let a child join, would they?"

"I don't think he cares about that." Sirius removed his hands from his face and looked up. "I don't think he cares at all. Snape was only sixteen when you found his Dark Mark."

"Maybe you can talk to him, maybe you can convince him-" she started, but Sirius cut her off.

"I tried. He blew me off. He said I'd chosen my path and he'd chosen his, the 'right' path," Sirius said.

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking like a fish. She didn't know what to tell him. "Do you think your parents would want him to join this early?"

He absentmindedly started braiding a section of his hair. "I don't know. I was thinking about writing them a letter."

"Really?"

"I mean obviously they don't give shit what I do, but surely they wouldn't want to send their youngest to fight for a psychopath before he even graduates, right?" He combed through his hair, untangling the braid. "They can't be that cruel or…" He trailed off, looking out the window.

Lily got up and stood behind him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her chin on top of his head. He smiled and held onto her forearms. "Whatever happens, you can't blame yourself. He's making this decision on his own, and if he won't listen to reason, that's not your fault."

Lily saw a tear fall onto the table in front of them. She turned and kneeled beside him, rubbing his shoulder. "You got out, Sirius. You're so brave, and such a good person. You saw who they were, and you decided that you were going to rise above them. You decided to fight against their cruelty. You're brave for fighting against your enemies, but you're even braver for fighting against the ones you used to care about."

He smirked, but she could tell it wasn't happy. "Yeah, I'm so brave for turning on my own family," he said bitterly.

She cupped his face with her hand and turned his gaze to her. She looked deeply into his dark eyes and smiled. "They're not your family." She stood up and kissed him on the head. "You know who your family is, and our last name isn't Black."

Sirius looked down at his hands and smiled. He reached up to wipe his tears away. "Thank you, Lils. I love you."

She walked back to her seat and sat down. "I love you too, Pads." He smiled at the use of his nickname. "Now, would you like to work on this charms essay with me?"

"Does working with you mean you'll write it for me?" He asked, grinning.

"No." He pursed his lips into a fake pout. "But I'll let you use my notes," she said. He laughed as she handed him a roll of parchment and a quill. They worked in silence together.

Half an hour later James came in, his broom slung over his shoulder, sweating slightly. He grinned when he saw the pair of them. "Hey."

Sirius stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "You picked a good one, mate." James gave him a confused look, but Sirius kept walking.

Lily called out after him. "Sirius, your essay!"

He turned back around. "You'll finish that up for me, won't you love?" He winked and Lily rolled her eyes. He laughed and closed the portrait hole behind him.

"What was that about?" James asked.

"I helped him with his charms essay," Lily explained.

"I'm going to take a shower," James said. Lily nodded. "But do you want to help me on mine?" She gave him a look. "Pleeeeaassee?"

She laughed. "Where would you guys be without me?"

He grinned his toothy grin, the skin around his eyes crinkling and his cheeks forming dimples. "Completely and totally lost. Absolutely incompetent." He turned and started up the steps.


	32. A Frivolous, Fatal Occurrence

"Lily, let me do it."

"Why?"

"Because when you put things at your eye level, normal people can't see them."

Lily turned around, hands on her hips. "How. _Dare_. You. James Potter." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you saying I'm short?"

He grinned and took the piece of parchment from her, pinning it to the board in the Gryffindor Common Room. "Yeah." He patted the top of her head. "Yeah, I am."

She scowled at him, but then reached forward to sign the piece of parchment he had just hung. This next month the seventh years who hadn't taken their Apparating test last spring could start on their lessons now. Marlene had taken hers, but Lily, James, Remus, and Alice all hadn't since their birthdays were later.

She was nervous. She had seen pictures of people who got splinched in her Defense textbook and it looked painful.

James must have seen the worried look on her face. "You'll be fine," he said. She nodded, but she didn't actually think she would be.

Sirius came jogging down the steps and saw them staring at the board. He read the paper and laughed. "Oh, is widdle baby Jamesy finally going to get to learn how to Apparate?" He ruffled his hair and pinched his cheek.

James swatted him away. "Shut up, Padfoot."

"Language, Jamesy," Sirius scolded. James rolled his eyes. Remus came down too and the four of them headed to Transfiguration.

They all stood in the Great Hall, waiting. The Ministry officials had set out hoops on the floor for them. The group moved forward, claiming hoops near each other and stepped in, waiting to begin. A Ministry official herded everyone to a hoop and waddled around making sure everyone was settled. He was a short, fat little man with a bushy mustache and a squeaky voice.

Once everyone had found a place, he walked to the front of the hall and stood on a platform so that he could be seen by everybody. "Hello, Hogwarts students!" He looked around smiling, but no one said anything back. "Right." He wrinkled his nose and then began again. "So today you are going to learn how to apparate. The most important thing to remember is the Three D's! One!" He held up a fat finger. "Destination! You have to think of your target destination clearly. _Very_ clearly! You have to imagine arriving to that destination. Two!" He held up a second finger. "Determination! You must be determined to reach your spot. You must will your body into appearing somewhere else. And the last one, Deliberation!"

James had tuned him out by that point. He had Side-Along Apparated before and had done it even more with his parents now that he was older. He knew what he was doing, and he didn't need a ministry official to tell him that he needed to think about his destination clearly. That much was obvious.

He looked and saw Lily intently listening and nodding along to what he said. He could even see her mouthing the words after he had said them. He chuckled to himself.

"Now! Everyone get ready!" James looked back up and saw that he was done with his speech, and they were all allowed to start.

James stared at the hoop across from him for a few moments imagining himself in it. He spun quickly, thinking of himself rematerializing in it, but nothing happened. He just turned around and almost fell over. He looked over at Lily, and it seemed like she had done the same thing.

Lily frowned and tried again. She stared at the hoop until her eyes went out of focus and then spun around. She didn't move, but she thought she might have felt a little tug at her navel that time. She stared at the hoop again and put every piece of concentration she had into it. She spun again and this time she felt herself pulled through a swirl and she landed. She was a few centimeters out of the hoop, but unscathed.

The ministry man half jogged over. "Well that is the fastest mastery of Apparition I have ever seen! Well done!" Lily smiled and blushed, looking down. "And so close to being in the hoop, I daresay you'll be ready to take the test after the end of this first lesson!"

Lily laughed nervously and the man turned around to watch some of the other students. He walked over to a Hufflepuff girl and talked to her quietly. Lily looked up and returned to the original hoop smiling to herself. James grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

James watched her step delicately into her hoop and then returned his gaze to his. He concentrated hard, his eyes boring into the circle on the ground. He stared at the center, then spun rapidly.

He too felt himself pulled through and he landed inside the hoop. "Hey!" He said in surprise. He turned to look at Lily and grinned.

She started laughing and he looked at her, confused. "What?" He asked. She didn't answer, but rather pointed to the side of his head. He reached his hand up and felt the spot she indicated. The hair on the right side of his was missing.

He looked back to his first hoop and saw a pile of hair still sitting in the center. "FUCK!"

McGonagall gasped. "JAMES. LANGUAGE!"

"Minnie, my hair!" James cried, pointing at the pile of black locks.

She came striding over and saw what he was indicating. "Well I'm sure you'll live, Mr. Potter. And there is no reason to be using that kind of language for such a frivolous occurrence."

James balked. "Frivolous occurrence? It's my hair! How can I be dashingly handsome when a chunk of my hair is missing?"

Lily was still laughing and James glared at her. Lily made eye contact with McGonagall and could tell that she was biting her cheek to keep from laughing.

"I'm sure Miss Evans still finds you attractive regardless of the current state of your hair," McGonagall said out of the side of her mouth. She looked at Lily again and Lily could tell she was close to laughing.

Lily shook her head. "No Professor, I don't think I can." James glared at her again and Lily kept laughing, her face turning red and tears coming out of the corners of her eyes.

"I am certain you will find a way to reattach it, Mr. Potter. Until then, please keep your foul exclamations to yourself." With that she swept to the other side of the room, but Lily could still see her smile.

"You think this is funny?" James asked. Lily nodded. "One of my best features, ruined!"

"I can't wait until Sirius sees this," Lily said, staring at the weird bald spot. James' scalp was poking through and it was quite odd looking.

"You have to figure out how to put it back on," he said, his eyes wide.

"Why me? Fix it yourself," she replied. She went back to her hoop and stared at the one across from her again. She looked over and James was squatting in his hoop picking up the hair he lost and pushing it against his head. Lily laughed again. "James, that's not going to work."

"I have to try something! I can't just leave her here, on the cold floor! She deserves better!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, James. You are the most ridiculous person I've ever met. Just go ask Madam Pomfrey." Lily pointed to the back of the hall where she was standing, waiting to help anyone who got splinched.

James cradled the hair he had picked up and ran across the hall, smacking into other students along the way.

He held it up to her and she backed up. "What is that?" She asked.

"It's my hair! You have to reattach it," James pleaded.

Madam Pomfrey frowned. "I'm not sure if I can do that."

James balked. "What do you mean you can't?"

"There isn't a way to reattach it, Mr. Potter. You'll just have to wait for it to grow back," she explained.

James stared at her in shock. He was just being dramatic before, but now it was serious. He couldn't deal with having the side of his head bald for weeks, just waiting on it to grow back. He looked down at the pile of hair in his hands and frowned. He turned and headed back to where Lily was still standing.

He saw her turn and she landed in the perfect center of her hoop. The ministry official was watching her. "Well done! That is the first time a student has apparated perfectly in their first lessons! You must have excellent concentration."

Lily laughed, "Thank you, sir." He nodded and turned away again, surveying the students in the hall.

James came up, shaking his head. "She didn't make it. It's fatal."

Lily laughed, looking at him with disbelief. "James, will you please calm down? After this we can go make a hair growth potion."

"Will that work?" He asked.

"It's a hair growth potion."

He smirked and tried focusing on his hoop again. Unfortunately the Ministry official spoke up again. "Alright everyone, nice work today, I will hopefully see you all again soon before the test! You all are dismissed."

Lily pocketed her wand and turned to leave. James came up behind her. "So, we can go right now?"

"Right now?"

"Yes."

Lily sighed in amused exasperation. "Yeah, alright. I have to go get my potions stuff from my room." James nodded and they walked together to their tower.

Lily came out with her potions supplies and saw James standing in the center of the common room holding his invisibility cloak. "What do you need that for?"

"Lily," he said seriously. "Too many people have already seen this. I can't have the entire castle knowing about it."

She shook her head and smiled to herself. "You're ridiculous." She walked out of the portrait hole and James followed behind, hidden under his cloak. "I could get in trouble for being down in the dungeons without Slughorn, you know."

James' disembodied voice floated into her ear. She could feel his breath behind her. "Haven't you been brewing an experimental potion for a werewolf for the past year a half?"

"Yeah, alright." James smiled, even though he knew she couldn't see. She looked back to where she assumed his face might be. "If we get caught though I'm saying that you held me there against my will."

"I wouldn't expect anything less, love."

They reached the dungeon door and James pulled off his cloak as they stepped inside. "What is that smell?" He asked right before seeing the source.

Snape was sitting at a bench, brewing something in a large cauldron. Lily froze, unsure of what to do.

James laughed. "Oh, now I see. It's just Snape."

"You're missing some hair, Potter. Did it finally get disgusted with you and fall off?" He sneered.

"If that could happen you would've gone bald years ago," James retorted, stepping forward. Lily could see his hand reach for his wand. Across the room Snape did the same thing.

Lily came up behind James and put her hand on his arm. "James, don't," she whispered. James nodded and they turned to leave.

Lily made a point to slip under James' arm as they left, and James wrapped it around her waist. He looked back at Snape as he closed the door, grinning. Fury burned in Snape's eyes, and James could feel his hatred.

They went to the next dungeon and Lily set up her cauldron, though she was frowning. James saw her face. "What?"

She shook her head. "I just wonder what he's brewing." She looked up at him, "Do you think he would be brewing anything," she paused, "dangerous?"

James furrowed his brow. "I don't know. Did you recognize anything?" She shook her head. "We could figure out."

"How?"

"Don't tell the boys I'm showing you this," he said, pulling out a piece of folded up parchment.

"James, how could you possibly have more secrets? I already know you're an Animagus, could it get much worse?" Lily said, laughing. She started chopping ingredients, adding them in slowly.

"I guess I'm just full of surprises." He spread the parchment out on the table in front of them. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said, pointing his wand at the fold.

"What the-" She was cut off by the parchment springing to life, expanding and its many sections coloring itself with black ink. "What is this?" She asked, leaning over to look at it. "Is this, is this a map of Hogwarts?"

"A map that shows where everyone is in the castle," James explained. "It shows where they're going, what they're doing, every minute, of every day."

"How could you possibly..." she trailed off and reached out to touch the paper. She traced the lines with her finger until she found the dungeons. There she saw a pair of tiny feet with a banner that had her name on it, right next to James'. They were stationary.

She looked all around the map, spotting the Gryffindor common room. She saw the seventh year boy's dormitory and saw Remus' and Sirius' dot as close together as her and James'. She smiled discreetly. She saw Dumbledore in his office, next to McGonagall and Slughorn. "What do you think that's about?" She asked, pointing to it on the map.

James' followed her finger. "That's been happening a lot. It seems they're always in there these days. Sometimes there's other people in there too, like Mad Eye Moody, some others."

Lily nodded and looked back at the dungeons. Snape's dot was next to theirs, still in his dungeon. "How do we find out what he's brewing?"

"I'll keep an eye on this, and as soon as he leaves I'll slip in there and see if we can figure it out."

"How long did it take for you to make this?" She asked, looking at it as she stirred the potion. "Is that a tunnel that goes from Hogwarts to Honeydukes?"

James grinned, "Didn't you always wonder how we smuggled in so much alcohol?" She looked at him, her mouth open.

"Is this how you played all of those pranks? How you were never caught?"

"Well that and the fact that I am genius and master of pranks and tomfoolery," James boasted.

"James, this is incredible! I wonder if Dumbledore even knows this much about the castle." James shrugged and stared intently at Snape's dot in the room beside them. He ought to just go over there right now and tell him where he can stick that cauldron, bloody Death Eater scum. He saw the dot move about the room and then exit. Lily looked up at him and James slipped under his cloak, headed for the door.

He slowly and quietly opened the door, peeking his invisible head out to watch Snape retreat up the steps. He darted into the hall and into the dungeon that Snape was occupying as fast as he could without making a sound.

He took his cloak off and stepped towards the cauldron Snape was using. It was still brewing, the tiny blue flame still licking its base. He stood over it, staring into its depths. It was a sort of brown sludge James didn't recognize. He just realized that he probably should have let Lily do this. He looked around for any other clues.

He went into the storeroom and looked around, studying each bottle intently. Some of the bottles were less full than the others, so he made note of those. Maybe they could piece together the puzzle that way.

He quietly snuck back into their own dungeon, Lily waiting for him expectantly. "I'm not sure, but there were some ingredients missing," he started, "there was knotgrass, some moonstone, all of the leeches and lacewing flies were gone, and it looked like there was less boomslang skin."

Lily bit her cheek, thinking. "Well, I'm not sure why the moonstone is gone, but the rest of those," she looked worried, "that could be Polyjuice Potion."

James furrowed his brow. "What could he be using Polyjuice Potion for?"

"Maybe he's brewing it to give to the other Death Eaters," she looked into her potion, "But why?"

James shook his head. "I don't know. I wouldn't think they would need to. They can just kill whoever they want at this point."

"What if they're trying to get in the Ministry? Or the Order?" She asked, her blood pumping so loud she could barely hear herself.

James stood up. "Well, we have to get rid of it."

Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "He'll know it was us. We're the only ones down here."

"Then let's tell Slughorn."

She shook her head again. "He'll just say that he's brewing it for fun, or as extra credit, like me. We could tell Dumbledore."

"What would he do? Would he even care?" James asked. Dumbledore had never seemed to care when Snape did shady things in the past. He hadn't even been punished when he tried to expose Remus. Come to think of it, he was pretty sure he and Lily got more detentions than he did for the whole incident with the first year last year.

"That's true. I told him he was a Death Eater and he didn't care," Lily commented bitterly.

"You told him he was a Death Eater and he didn't kick him out? Punish him? Do anything?" James asked incredulously. "That's insane."

"He just told me to 'guide him on the right path'."

"That's not your responsibility. He did that on his own. Nothing you say is going to change that," James told her, reaching for her hand.

"I know," Lily said, though he could tell there was uncertainty in her voice. She looked up at him again. "What do we do?"

"I don't know."

James woke up the next morning, his face smushed into his pillow, drool dried on his chin. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, reaching for his glasses.

His hand didn't quite make it though. He sat up abruptly and ran towards his bathroom, looking the mirror. His unruly black hair had gone from its usual short and untidy mop to long, luscious locks that reached the top of his hips. Not bothering to dress, he headed for Lily's room, slamming the door open. She bolted up and grabbed her wand, ready for anything.

"What the fuck is this?"

Lily breathed heavily. "James you scared me! What do you want?" She asked as she laid back down.

"Do you not see this?" He said, throwing his hand towards his hair and flipping it aggressively.

She opened her eyes again and saw what he was talking about. She busted out laughing at the ridiculous sight before her. "It's a," she had to stop to laugh some more, "it's a hair _growth_ potion James, what did you expect?"

"Will you please just fix it?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know!"

She looked at him, his ridiculous puppy eyes pleading with her. She groaned. "Alright, give me a minute." She got out of bed and made her way to her closet. James tried not to watch, but he couldn't help it. She was only wearing a thin tank top and knickers.

He was trying to look anywhere else, but he kept stealing glances at her. As she pulled on a pair of trousers she saw his reflection in the mirror watching her and started blushing profusely. He ran a hand through his hair, still shocked by the length as he did so. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

She laughed nervously. "It's, it's okay." she pulled a t-shirt over her tank top, "I have seen you almost naked a few times before," she reminded him.

"That's different, though," he said quietly.

She looked at her bare toes, not making eye contact with him. "Why is that different?"

He started laughing nervously also. "'Cause, uh," he didn't know why it was different, it just was. ";Cause you're Lily," he finished lamely.

She looked at him, confused, but she brushed it off. "Come on. I have a pair of scissors. I'll just give you a Muggle haircut."

James' hands flew to his head. "No."

"James come on, your hair is going to be a mess whether I cut it perfectly or not. Just trust me," she ordered, pulling his hand down to the common room.

He scowled and sat in the arm chair. She pulled out the scissors and comb she brought from her room and got to work. The first part took a long time. She had to chop off a good two feet before she actually started working on making it into his regular hairstyle.

He winced once he heard the scissors clink near his ear. "Calm down," she whispered, concentrating. After a few minutes she nodded and stepped back. "I think it's good." She moved to face him, putting her hands in his hair. She ran her hands through it, surprised at how thick it was. She started just moving her hands through the locks, massaging his scalp.

He closed his eyes and felt her fingers against his scalp, relishing in the sensation. He hummed in appreciation and she giggled. He opened his eyes and saw her standing above him, her knees pressed against his.

He reached up and pulled her down to him, kissing her lightly. "Thank you. I'm assuming that it doesn't look as good as it did before, but thank you."

She scowled. "Shut up, you prat." He grinned at her. That dumb, toothy grin, that she loved so much. Lily brought her knee up and climbed on to James' lap, straddling him.

"Whoa," James said in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I-" she made to stand back up but he shook his head and pulled her in, kissing her. She sunk into him, pressing her mouth against his. He placed one of his hands on the top of her thigh and slid the other up her back, burrowing it into her long locks.

His hand ran up her thigh and to the small of her back, pulling her closer into him. She pressed her chest into his as his hands moved to grab her hips. She shifted, causing her hips to grind against him. She whimpered slightly at the contact and kissed him more fiercely, her tongue sliding into his mouth.

James moved his hand upwards to grab her breast, but stopped when he felt a familiar sensation. He pulled his mouth away and pressed his forward against hers. "Lils..."

She pulled back. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just, I didn't-"

He shushed her. "No, it's not anything you did." He removed his hand from her hair and ran it down her face. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I don't want to rush into anything." He looked into her eyes and grabbed her hands, holding them against his chest. "You're so perfect. I don't, I don't want to mess things up. I want to take my time, make everything perfect." He kissed her on the forehead and sat back against the chair.

"Are you afraid you're such a bad shag I'll dump you immediately?" Lily joked.

"I'm being serious, Lils, come on," he complained, grinning up at her.

"I want everything to be perfect too," she whispered. He smiled and pulled her in for another kiss. The contact was no longer as fierce or passionate, just gentle. She kissed him back lightly, smiling against his lips. She pulled away and stood up, smoothing out her shirt. "Marlene and Alice are coming to study soon anyways," she explained.

James nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "I have to get to Quidditch practice." He stood up and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later, though." She nodded and he retreated to his room to get ready. Lily noticed the bulge in his trousers and smiled discreetly to herself, hoping James wouldn't notice.

"So when is it going to be?" Mary asked.

"In the summer, probably late June," Alice answered.

"Have you gotten your wedding dress yet?" Marlene asked.

Alice shook her head. "Not yet. I'll probably do it over Christmas break when I can get to Diagon Alley for it. Or maybe a Muggle shop in London."

Lily brightened. "Can we come?"

"Of course! I need help," Alice exclaimed. She shook her head. "You wouldn't believe how much there is to do."

"Are there going to be a lot of people there?" Marlene asked.

Alice nodded. "I have to invite pretty much every Pureblood family there is. It's going to be huge. I don't know ninety percent of the people I'm supposed to send invitations to," she lamented.

"It will still be nice, though. You'll only have to make small talk with them for a little bit and then you can enjoy the rest of it," Mary offered. Alice considered this and nodded.

"Are you excited to be married?" Marlene asked.

Alice smiled and nodded. "Absolutely. I wish I could just get to the married part and skip the whole wedding part." She looked down at her hands. "Everyone says I'm too young to get married, but it seems like it's now or never. Who knows what could happen in a year, where we could be, you know?"

They all nodded, remembering the dire situation they were in. "Tell everyone you love them while you have the chance," Lily commented.

"Exactly." Alice looked around at them. "I love you guys." They all reached in for a hug over the table they were supposed to be doing their Transfiguration homework on. Lily pointed this out and they all looked sheepish before returning to their work.


	33. Dance Like Everyone Is Watching

Several weeks passed, returning the castle to its normal lively atmosphere. The events in September were all but forgotten, and the student body looked eagerly to Christmas break.

Lily couldn't believe how fast Christmas had come. In a surprising change of pace the teachers hadn't been burying them in assignments and Lily was actually sad to have the few weeks off of school. She was not staying at the castle this time, but rather going back to visit her mum. Petunia was having Vernon's family stay for Christmas at their house, and their mum had gotten shunted to the side.

Lily shook her head, not believing how much Petunia had changed. Lily knew that Petunia couldn't care less about what she did, but to abandon their own mother as well? It seemed so cruel to her. Petunia's loss was her gain though, as she got to spend Christmas with her mum alone.

She actually thought about bringing James over for Christmas so that they could properly meet. She didn't count the time James crashed into their garden as an introduction. She smiled at the memory, thinking about how silly she had been by denying her feelings for him. Their relationship hadn't affected their Head duties at all. Though she couldn't deny that their Head dorms had been used for activities other than what the Founders intended. Nothing more than snogging, though, so surely the Founders couldn't be too miffed at this point.

"Hey, Lils, I want to ask you something," James said, coming down the stairs and sitting across from her. She nodded. "Did you want to come spend Christmas with my family?"

She laughed, earning a confused look from him. "I was about to ask you the same thing!"

"Well, that complicates things." She snorted and he grinned at her. "I suppose we could do half at your house, half at my house." He frowned. "But who gets the real Christmas?"

"What if we went to my house first, celebrated an early Christmas with my mum, then your parents could get my house connected on the Floo network and we could go visit your family?" Lily suggested.

"If she wanted, your mum could come for Christmas dinner at my house," James offered.

Lily thought about this for moment. "Yes, we could have my mum pick us up at the station, spend the first week with her until Christmas Day, then we could all Floo over and have dinner, then we spend the rest of break with your family."

"That sounds good to me," James agreed.

"I have one more thing to ask," Lily said. James looked at her. "Do you want to come to Slughorn's party with me?"

James frowned. "Well actually I was thinking I might go-"

"Don't do it," she warned.

"-stag."

Lily glared at him. "I hate you."

"Nah, you don't." James grinned and laughed for a minute. "Are you sure Slughorn is going to allow that? Remember when Sirius and I got kicked out?"

Lily smiled and shook her head. "That was almost four years ago, I'm sure he's seen how you've matured. And besides, I'm sure he is somehow obligated to invite the Head Boy, right?"

"Alright, but let's pray I don't give ole Sluggy a heart attack." He smiled mischievously. "Maybe Padfoot and I could think of another-"

Lily cut him off. "I'm only taking you if you promise to behave." James nodded and held out his pinky. Lily laughed at the childish gesture, but took his large pinky in hers and shook it once.

"A promise is a promise."

"I think I'm done," Mary said, stepping back. Lily turned to look in her mirror, smiling at her reflection. Mary had twisted her fiery red hair into a cascade of curls pulled to her right shoulder. She had done her makeup as well: Lily's eyelids now a light shimmering gold to match her dress, as well as a thin line of eyeliner.

Lily stood up and hugged Mary. "Thank you, it's perfect."

Mary smiled back at her. "Of course!" Mary loved doing all of their makeup for events. Lily said she should find a job in fashion, but she wasn't sure if the Wizarding world offered anything in that field. Mary fussed with her hair for a few moments more before leaving Lily alone to get changed.

She slipped on her gold and white dress, pairing it with flats. She slipped her wand into a thigh holster she had bought the previous summer. She found it in a costume shop, but it turned out to be practical for holding her wand in an accessible place. They couldn't be too careful these days.

She looked at herself once more in the mirror before departing down the steps. She saw James leaning against the armchair as she descended. She lost her breath for a moment at the sight of him. He was wearing dark green dress robes and looked incredibly handsome.

James had the same reaction. He stared at her and she stared at him. She came down the rest of the way and James stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in. "You look so beautiful, love." He pulled away to look her up and down again.

Lily smiled. "You look handsome, James. I didn't know you could clean up so well." She was also looking him up and down.

He laughed. "I like the gold," James said. "You're my little Snitch."

Lily laughed and looked down at her dress. "I didn't think about that." She looked up at him. "Your hair is still a mess," she said, running her hand through it.

"I tried. I really tried to fix it, but it wouldn't work," he said, nervously running his hand through it after she took her hand away.

"Good," she commented, "I like it better this way." He leaned down to kiss her. She stood on her tiptoes as he leaned down and their lips met. His hands slid to her hips and he pulled her flush against him. Her hands moved up his chest, one grabbing his shirt and one wrapping behind his neck, burying itself into his unruly hair.

His hand slid down, grazing her thigh. He stopped and pulled away. "Lily, what is that?"

She opened her eyes, not expecting him to stop. Not wanting him to stop, really. "What is what?"

"Do you have something you need to tell me?" He asked, jokingly.

It took a moment for her to realize what he was referring to. She giggled and pulled up the hem of her dress to reveal her wand pressed against the smooth, pale skin of her upper thigh. "Neat, isn't it?"

James could think of a few adjectives to describe her garter, but neat was not one of them. He reached out and touched it, stroking the belt encircling her thigh with his index finger. "Yeah, it's, it's really neat."

She shivered slightly at the touch of his fingers so high up on her leg. She closed her eyes, liking the sensation, but reopened them when he stopped. "Do you like it? I think it's quite practical."

James nodded. "I like it a lot."

"I'll get you one too," she suggested. James scoffed. Lily replaced her hem and headed towards the portrait hole.

"Are we leaving?" James asked, sounding slightly pitiful.

Lily looked back at his sad face and nodded. "The party is starting soon." James sighed and followed behind her, watching her hips sway and the golden material shift back and forth over her legs.

They arrived to the party several minutes later, seeing that many of the guests had already shown up. They stepped into the enlarged room and Slughorn immediately spotted them. "Miss Evans!" He gestured for her to come over.

Lily crossed the room to where he was standing. "Good evening Professor! Thank you for inviting us," she said sweetly. James seconded that and shook Slughorn's hand.

"Of course." Slughorn indicated for her to follow him. "I have someone I would like for you to talk to." Lily walked behind him to another corner of the room, happening upon the man she met last Christmas at the party.

She smiled and held out her hand. "Hello sir, I'm not sure if you remember me, but we met last Christmas."

He stopped her sentence. "Why yes of course. Miss Evans, is it?" She nodded. "Are you still doing well in Potions?"

Slughorn chuckled. "Not just well, Tobias, still the top of her class! Far beyond the skill of any of her classmates!" He clapped her on the shoulder. "Sometimes her potions are even better than mine are! An uncommon talent Miss Evans has."

Tobias raised his eyebrows, obviously impressed. "I believe I told you that you could send your N.E.W.T.s over once you received them and we would be happy to take you on as an apprentice? The offer still stands, if Horace has such praise for you."

"You might as well go ahead and hire her! I would bet a handsome amount of money that she makes an Outstanding on her potions N.E.W.T. as well as several others." Slughorn chimed in. Tobias laughed lightly and looked over at Lily.

She nodded. "I would be honored to work for you, sir. I will make sure to send over my N.E.W.T.s as soon as I can." She shifted awkwardly. "Actually, sir, being Muggleborn I'm somewhat ignorant as to what an apprenticeship with a Potions master entails."

Tobias shook his head. "No worries, Miss Evans. Even many Pureblood witches and wizards are unsure of what we do." He took a sip of his brandy. "We mostly experiment with potions or sometimes even create new ones. If you had an issue you wanted to solve and believed that some form of potion would help it, we could work to create it. Many of our apprentices chose to experiment with potions they use regularly in order to improve them. Sometimes they have adverse side-effects that they attempt to get rid of, things of that nature," he explained.

"I would love to do that, sir. I've actually been experimenting with Wolfsbane the past year, and I believe my modifications would actually help the user in the days surrounding the transition as well." She knew this was true, as she had been giving Remus her experimental potions and there had been marked improvement in his demeanor and overall health. However, she couldn't reveal that to this man, especially with Slughorn right next to them.

"That's quite interesting. What made you so interested in brewing Wolfsbane?" He asked.

"It was actually an article Professor Slughorn sent me. At first I wanted to master the potion, as it seemed to be a challenge, but after mastering it I felt that it could be improved," she answered.

Tobias nodded, smiling slightly at her. He looked over at James. "So sorry my boy, I don't believe I introduced myself. Your date was just too fascinating," he joked merrily.

James smiled back, extending his hand. "James Potter, sir. I believe you've worked with my father on his-"

"Sleekeazy potion, yes," Tobias nodded. "Your father is a great man, I have quite enjoyed working with him." He looked up at James' hair. "I take it you aren't familiar with his products?"

James grinned. "Believe me, I was the original tester for all of his attempts. Nothing seems to work." Tobias guffawed and clapped him on the shoulder. He turned to Slughorn and began discussing matters that did not pertain to them, so they took the opportunity to excuse themselves and slip away.

James squeezed her shoulder. "That's exciting, Lils!"

She smiled up at him. "I know! I was worried what I might do once I left Hogwarts, but I'm so glad he has already offered me the apprenticeship." She looked around and lowered her voice. "It's actually supposed to be a really lengthy and competitive application process. Severus talked about it a lot. He made it seem like it was impossible to get in."

"Impossible for him, maybe. But I'm sure having Slughorn's recommendation is a better indication of your talent than an application. He's always bragging on you," James said. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." She looked around, spotting the food table. She grabbed James' hand and they went to grab some finger foods. They found a table and sat for a while, talking with their fellow classmates briefly about the upcoming break and their classes.

"Alright there, Potter?" Amos Diggory asked, squeezing his shoulder as he sat down.

James nodded. "I am, you?"

Diggory nodded, turning to Lily. "Lily, you look lovely tonight, are you having a good time?" James smiled to himself; Amos Diggory always sounded like he was running for Minister, the pretentious bloke.

"I am, thank you for asking. Are you?" Lily asked cordially.

"Yes actually, Slughorn asked me to come tonight, represent the Ministry, you see," he said, puffing his chest out slightly at the words.

Lily nodded. "That's nice, Amos. I'm sure you'll do well there." He smiled and got up to go talk to some of his old housemates at the next table. Lily gave James a look and they both snickered.

James tapped his fingers along with the beat of orchestra in the corner. He looked up at Lily, who was watching the room. "Do you want to dance?" He asked.

"No one is dancing, James," she replied, laughing lightly.

"So? Someone has to start," he commented. He stood up and held out his hand. She shook her head, smirking at him and took it, standing up as well. They made their way to the empty space of the room and James turned her so that she was facing him. He placed a hand on her waist and she placed hers on his shoulder.

James began to lead, moving fluidly to the music. Lily stumbled slightly, as she had never danced like this before. "James, how did you learn how to dance?" He was so smooth it almost felt like he was moving her body for her.

"One summer during a torrential rainstorm my mum forced me into lessons with her." He held his arm up and twirled her. "Sirius never let me live it down." She laughed at James' irritated face and tried to move more smoothly with his body. After a couple of minutes she had the hang of it and they moved as one. "This is a waltz, if you didn't know," James explained.

Lily shook her head. "I did not. My dancing education is limited to the somewhat unclassy ways Sirius has shown me." James laughed, recalling the occasions when Sirius would give everyone a show on top of the nearest table after having too many firewhiskeys.

He nodded. "I did catch a glimpse of that at last year's Halloween party."

She looked down, abashed. "Not my best night." She suddenly remembered something. "Did you know that while you were talking to Will, I was checking you out?"

James stopped dancing for a second, causing her to bump into him. "I knew it!" He exclaimed. They went back to dancing. "I knew it. I saw the look you were giving me."

"I always thought you were attractive. I just also thought you were an immature toerag," she explained.

James grimaced. "Yeah, that's fair." She laughed and they twirled around the room some more until the band took a break. Several couples had followed their lead and joined them, creating a dance floor. They moved from the floor and sat down at the table they were previously. Lily looked around the room and spotted Snape talking to Slughorn. He wasn't wearing dress robes, but he had put on his nicer school clothes.

It didn't seem that Slughorn had introduced him to Tobias as he did Lily. She thought that was odd, as Snape was generally usually as good as Lily. Though Slughorn did say that she was beyond any of her classmates. Maybe he hadn't been as outstanding in class as he used to be. She wondered if that had anything to do with his new involvement with the Death Eaters. Maybe school and Potions class didn't seem as important once you joined a terrorist group. But Potions was always his passion. It still saddened her that he had strayed so far and turned his back on them.

James followed her gaze, seeing the cause of her suddenly sad expression. "Are you alright?" He asked, leaning over to her. She nodded. At that moment Snape looked over and saw her looking at him. Their eyes met and he looked forlorn for a moment, but then saw James whispering in her ear and his expression immediately hardened. Her face turned as well, glaring at him as he glared at James. James saw this exchange. "He can't stand to see us together," he commented. She shook her head and stood up, moving towards where everyone had begun to dance again. James followed her and they struck up another waltz. Everytime they turned, Snape would sneer at James and he would grin back.

"Was that petty?" Lily asked as they made their way up the staircase to their dorm.

James chuckled. "Only a little bit, love." He shrugged. "He deserves it." Lily nodded and gave the password as they reached their destination. Lily stepped in and suddenly laughed. "What?" he asked.

She shook her head. "It's nothing it's just, this time last year I had just found out Sirius and Remus were dating, and I was making out with Will in the common room."

James frowned. "Can I ask you a question?" She nodded. "You don't have to answer it, I just," he paused and chewed the inside of his cheek. "Did you and Will…?" He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

She shook her vehemently. "Not at all. He was always trying to get me to, but I never did." James couldn't help but feel relieved at that, though he knew it wouldn't affect anything at all. She looked down at her hands awkwardly. "I've never, you know, done any of that stuff."

James stepped towards her and pulled her in for a hug. "Neither have I." She looked up at him and beamed, relieved she wasn't alone in this. He kissed her lightly. "You really look beautiful." She smiled and kissed him again.

They went to bed with the agreement that they would wake up early to pack before they had to depart on the train home tomorrow.


	34. Christmas At The Evanses'

A/N: Adult themes of the sexual nature ahead, proceed with caution.

* * *

"I'm stressed."

"Why are you stressed, love?" James wrapped his arm around her waist.

"You're going to be spending a week at my house," she explained. He looked at her, prompting to go on. "What if, what if she,"

"What if your mum doesn't like me?" James finished.

"No, that's not what I'm stressed about. I'm just stressed. I've never brought a boy home before. Well, except-" She didn't finish that sentence.

James tensed for a second, unnoticed by Lily. He knew she meant Snape. He also knew it wasn't the same. "Never?"

"None of my relationships ever lasted long enough to come back over holiday," Lily said.

"Will did," James countered.

She frowned. "Well, that was different."

"Is it because you looovve me?" James asked, grinning down at her.

She gave him a side eye, about to respond, but saw her mother waving across the platform. "Mum!"

"Lily!" They crossed the platform to meet in the middle. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing her. "How was the train ride?"

"It was fine! James and I had to do patrols for most of it," she said, gesturing to James standing behind her.

"Ah yes, the infamous James," Rose said. James moved forward to extend his hand. Rose forewent that and pulled him into a hug. He awkwardly laughed, hugging her back.

"It's good to see you, Mrs. Evans," he said through strained breath. Her hugs were more forceful than he would have imagined from such a small woman.

She released him and smiled up at him. "You can call me Rose, James." He nodded, knowing that he probably would keep calling her Mrs. Evans regardless. "Are we ready? Do you both have your things?" Lily nodded and started towards the exit, their trunks piled high on a trolley.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you, Mrs. Evans, I really appreciate it. I'm excited for you to come for Christmas dinner," James said, following behind them.

"Of course James! I'm excited too. From our brief meeting this previous summer, I can tell I'm going to like your mother," Rose replied over her shoulder, moving expertly through the crowded Muggle platform.

They reached the parking lot and Rose found their car. James shifted, unsure of what to do. He had never been in a car before. The Ministry had sent a car over for his mother on rare occasions, but he never had the opportunity to join her.

Lily noticed this and took his trunk from him, shoving it in the trunk next to hers. "You can have the front, James." He nodded, not knowing what she meant. "The front seat." He nodded, still not moving. She laughed and went around him to open the door. "Sit here," she instructed, indicating the front seat.

"Okay," James said, cautiously sliding onto the leather seat. He pulled his long legs into the car, having to bend them extensively to fit. He sat for a moment, looking up at Lily. She watched him, then laughed and leaned forward to fasten his seat belt. He look bewildered. "What is that?"

"It's a seat belt." He still looked confused. "It keeps you from flying out of the car if we crash."

His eyes went wide. "What?"

Rose slid into the driver's seat after closing the trunk. "Don't worry, James. I haven't had a crash yet. Except that one fender bender in the parking lot of Tesco's. But that wasn't _entirely_ my fault."

"What's a fender bender?" He asked, suddenly scared to be in here.

"It doesn't matter. Close your door," Lily ordered, climbing into the back seat. He closed it, immediately feeling claustrophobic. Rose put the car in reverse and pulled out of their spot, turning onto the main road, headed home.

James watched the cars on the other side whiz past, wincing every time. They were so close, it looked like they might hit them any second. "I don't like this."

"Why not?" Lily asked.

"It's too cramped. I feel claustrophobic," he explained, looking out the window.

"You can roll down your window," Lily suggested. He looked back at her, confused. "Do you see that crank on the door? Just turn that and it will open the window."

He nodded. It took him a couple of tries, but he eventually got the window to slide down, inviting the cold winter breeze into the car. "That's better," he said, sticking his hand out of the window. Lily laughed at how he ridiculous he was.

"So, did you guys have a good term?" Rose asked.

"Besides the attack, it was pretty good," James said. Lily jumped forward, in an attempt to shush him. She hadn't told her mother.

Rose's eyes went wide and looked back at Lily for a second. "The what?"

"There was a minor," she chose her words carefully, "incident in Hogsmeade in September."

"September?" Rose questioned, the surprise and anger evident in her voice.

"It was nothing mum, everyone was fine." _Except the two dead kids and the mental trauma_ , she thought.

"James, was it really nothing? Don't lie to me," she warned.

He looked back at Lily, whose face was stern. It was obvious she didn't want to share the details. "I mean," Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "It wasn't _nothing_ ," he said. Lily groaned.

"What happened?"

James shifted, uncomfortable. He wasn't a very good liar, and it felt wrong to lie to Mrs. Evans. "Just some people, uh, some people that have been causing some trouble recently came and uh, well they, they kind of blew up a couple of buildings and uh, attacked some kids," he explained. Lily buried her face in her hands.

"What?" Rose shouted. She aggressively took the nearest exit and pulled into a petrol station right off the road. Lily groaned. Rose whipped around to stare at Lily. "What?" She yelled again.

"It's fine, mum! I'm fine, all of our friends are fine!" She protested. "Can we please just get back on the highway?"

"No!" She unbuckled her seatbelt to turn more effectively. "And you just didn't think to tell me this?"

"I didn't want you to worry-"

"You could have been killed!"

"You're being dramatic, it wasn't-"

"Could she have been killed, James?"

James froze, looking at Mrs. Evans, then Lily, then back at Mrs. Evans. Lily gave him a pleading look. "Well, I mean probably not, you never know, and-"

"Oh, my god," Lily lamented.

"Why would you not tell me this, Lily?" Rose suddenly looked more hurt than angry.

"I just didn't want to worry you. I didn't want you to pull me out of Hogwarts or-"

"I would never do that!" Rose protested.

"I mean I didn't know, and I-"

Rose whipped back to face James. "Is that why there's been all of these weird, unexplained deaths? Is that them?" James nodded solemnly. "So you two have could have been killed."

"Mum, I'm sorry. I should have written, I just didn't-"

Rose interrupted again. "Yeah, you didn't want to worry me. Well now I'm even more worried. What other dangerous things have been happening without me knowing about it?"

"Nothing! It's just these people, they're just trying to scare everyone, Dumbledore is stopping them, we're perfectly safe!" Lily exclaimed, hoping her mother would calm down.

"What else has happened, Lily? What have they been doing?" Rose asked, sincerely. Lily could tell she was scared.

She relented. She wasn't sure where to begin explaining all of this to her mum. "There is a wizard that calls himself Voldemort." Her mother made a confused face. "And he thinks that wizards should only be Pureblood."

"What does that mean?"

"Pureblood means that your whole family is wizards. They," she paused, "They think I have 'dirty blood' since I'm Muggleborn. They want to get rid of me and people like me," Lily finished, unable to meet her mother's eye.

"Are all Purebloods like this?" Rose asked.

James shook his head. "My whole family is Pureblood, but we're all fighting against Voldemort. People like Dumbledore and McGonagall are too. It's just these maniacs."

"So this attack and the weird murders, they're because they don't want Muggleborns like you going to Hogwarts?" Rose asked, slowly processing the situation.

Lily nodded. "They killed my roommate, Anna."

"What?" Rose yelled again. Lily shook her head, unsure of what to say back to her. "So you could be killed just as easily as her?"

James came to Lily's defense. "Lily can more than hold her own, you wouldn't believe how powerful-"

"That doesn't matter!" Rose argued. "It only takes one psychopath!"

"I can't change what's happened, mum! We're all trying to fight it so that it doesn't happen again! It's just going to keep happening if we don't at least try to stop it!" Lily explained, getting frustrated. "It's not my fault!" Her voice cracked slightly, upset that she was arguing with her mum, with James in the car, on the way to their Christmas holiday.

Rose looked at her sadly and reached out for her hand. "I know. I'm sorry." Lily looked up at her. There were tears in her eyes too. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm just upset."

"Me too," Lily said quietly.

Rose turned back around, leaning back against the seat, watching the blinking sign in the petrol station store window. She turned to look at James, who was looking at Lily. "Are you going to protect her, James?"

"She'll probably be the one protecting me, Mrs. Evans. She doesn't need protecting," James said, laughing. He was trying to break the tension.

Rose nodded. Lily could tell she was still upset. They sat for a minute, Rose stoically looking out the window at the passing cars. Lily watched her for a moment, then looked at James. "I'm sorry," he mouthed. She nodded and looked back at her mother.

"Mum?" Lily asked tentatively. Rose looked in the rearview mirror at her. "Can we go home now?" She didn't answer, but rather turned the car back on and pulled back onto the highway. The atmosphere was tense. Lily was silent and so was Rose. They rode for a while, Lily discreetly watching her mother from the backseat.

Her jaw was set and her eyes were narrowed at the road in front of them. Lily could see her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. She was angry. She sat back against the seat and sighed.

James looked back at Lily, who shrugged before looking out the window. James, trying to break the silence, cleared his throat. "So, has Lily ever told you about Quidditch?"

Rose nodded. "A little."

"Well, we've a great year so far. You see," Rose looked back in the rear mirror, making eye contact with Lily. Lily smiled weakly as James launched into a description of the latest game. Rose nodded along, though Lily could tell she was only half listening. She kept looking back in the rearview mirror, staring at Lily. Lily pointedly looked down at her hands and refused to look up for the rest of the ride.

"I'm sorry, love. I thought you told her," James apologized as they sat her on her bed. They had gotten home and Rose immediately got to making dinner, refusing their offers for help.

Lily shook her head. "I didn't tell her because of exactly what just happened. I knew she would blow it out of proportion."

"Is it out proportion, though? People died, Lils," James said.

She sighed, laying down. "I know."

He played with a strand of her hair, looking at her sadly. "I know you don't want her to worry, but she should know. She's going to worry regardless. And she has a right to know," he rationalized.

"You're right, I know," Lily said.

"It's better if she knows. She needs to protect herself. In six months we're going to out there, actually fighting. You might become a target," James said. Lily could feel a pit growing in her stomach. "They could use her to get to you. If she doesn't know what's going on, then..." he didn't finish his thought.

She sat up, nodding. "You're right. You're absolutely right." She groaned. "I just wanted to pretend like this wasn't really happening for a while longer."

"It's really happening, love."

"I know."

Lily's mother called them down for dinner and they descended the stairs. Lily walked into the kitchen, crossing it to where her mother was. She pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sorry, mum. I really am. I'm not going to hide anything from you anymore."

Rose smiled against Lily's shoulder. "Thank you. I'm sorry I got upset with you."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. You're my mother, you have to be worried about me," Lily said, laughing. She pulled away, sitting down at the table. "I have something else to tell you." Rose grabbed forks from the drawer and passed them out as she sat down. She gave Lily a questioning look. "Dumbledore wants us to join him in fighting against Voldemort and Death Eaters when we graduate."

"What?"

James spoke up. "For the past few years, Dumbledore and others have formed a group that is fighting back. They're tracking their movements, infiltrating them, they have the Aurors making arrests. Dumbledore wants us to join and help him run missions."

"But you're just kids!" Rose exclaimed. "Surely he can't expect you to fight-"

"He needs everyone he can get, mum. We're of age, we've been trained in Defense Against the Dark Arts, we want to fight," Lily explained.

Rose shook her head. "But you're only seventeen! That's not fair, you shouldn't have to fight!"

"It's not fair, I agree. But there's a war going on. They want to kill me and people like me. We can't just sit idly by and let them," Lily said.

"You wouldn't be sitting idly by, Lily, you'd be keeping yourself safe!" Rose protested.

"Dumbledore will keep us safe. He would never willing put us in harm's way. He cares more about us than he does stopping this war. He wouldn't let 'kids' die for it." Lily said, using Rose's own words.

"You don't know that. You could be killed, Lily," Rose said.

"I'll be killed if we don't fight back against this." Rose opened her mouth to argue some more, but Lily stopped her. "Mum, I really don't want to argue with James here and during Christmas. Let's just enjoy this, and when the time gets closer we can talk some more."

"You're never going to listen to me, are you?" Rose asked. Lily shook her head solemnly.

"I can't."

"This is the guest bedroom, the bathroom is down the hall, and if you need anything I'm right down the hall, too," Lily said, bringing a pillow into the room where James would be staying. James followed her in there. It was Petunia's old room, still painted light purple, with pictures she left still hanging on the walls. She didn't move anything with her when she and Vernon moved in together, making Lily think that it might have been one more act of defiance against this family.

"So, I can't stay in your room?" He joked. Lily gave him a disapproving look.

"My mum is also down the hall," she retorted.

James nodded. "Got it."

"Do you need anything else?" Lily asked, turning to leave the guest room. James nodded. "What?"

"This." He grabbed the waistband of her pajama shorts to spin her back to face him. She let out a soft gasp, which was muffled by James bringing her mouth to his.

She melted into him, pressing her mouth against his. Her hands slid up under his t-shirt, roaming over his abs. He smiled and hummed against her lips before returning to kiss her. He kept one hand on her hip and grabbed her hair with his other, keeping them pressed firmly together.

Lily moved closer to him, pressing her chest into his. He could feel the curve her soft breasts against his hard chest. The hand he had on her hip slid across her lower abdomen, playing with the waistband of her shorts, lightly lifting her shirt to expose her stomach.

She slid her hand into his hair; her favorite thing to do these days, and pulled him more firmly against her. He removed his hand from her own hair and moved it down her back to grab her butt. He grabbed the bottom of her cheek and squeezed it, effectively pulling her even closer to him. They were flush against each other. Lily could feel James' rapid heartbeat.

With the hand on her hip, he swiped his thumb under her shorts, sliding across the hollow her hip bones made as they descended. His touch against her skin caused her to shiver. She reveled in the sensation. She stepped onto her tiptoes, causing James' thumb to move further down. She sighed quietly as it brushed the hem of her underwear. He pulled back and looked at her, the silent question evident in his expression. She looked back up at him and nodded slightly.

He slid his hand into her shorts, feeling her soft underwear against his palm. She moved her hand up to grip his shoulder. He slowly moved his finger, causing a warm sensation to build in the bottom of her stomach. He added his other finger, and moved them delicately across the material. She nodded again, more vigorously this time, and he quickened his pace.

She started breathing heavier, leaning her forehead against his chest. His other arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her pressed against his hand. His fingers got wet, even through the material. He could feel her nails press into his shoulder lightly.

He cautiously removed his hand and slid it under the material separating him. She moaned quietly. "Shhh, love," he whispered into her ear. She whimpered again, his deep voice increasing her desire.

He was moving his fingers against her even more quickly. She moved her hips slightly, desperately trying increase their contact. She wanted more. He removed his fingers and she looked up at him, pleading. He slipped one into her and her protest faded away. She gasped, feeling herself get more wet.

He moved his finger in and out, pressing the tip against her walls, rubbing a spot that made Lily want to melt to the ground. He adjusted, rubbing her clitoris with his thumb as his other fingers moved inside of her. She had to bury her face into his chest to keep from gasping too loudly. He laughed quietly and she could feel the vibrations deep in his chest against her.

She could feel herself getting to the edge. She moved her hips against him, aided by his arm gripping her waist. Her muscles tightened, and when James rubbed that spot one more time she immediately released, feeling the warm sensation flood her body. She couldn't help it, she moaned softly into his shirt, still gripping his shoulder.

She grabbed onto him as she climaxed, steadying herself. He kept moving his fingers against her, prolonging her orgasm. Her breath became erratic and she clutched at his shirt. "James," she whispered. He removed his hand and leaned down to kiss her.

She leaned heavily into him, her legs suddenly weak. He wrapped his other arm around her lower back, fully supporting her with his embrace, and held her up against him. She breathed heavily, trying to catch her breath. He grinned. "Alright, Evans?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm, I'm so good, that was-" She heard her mother's footsteps ascending the staircase. Her eyes went wide and James looked down at her, terrified. She pushed him away aggressively, causing him to stagger back.

She grabbed the pillow she had just set on the bed and threw it at him. He looked at her, confused, but then realized that his trousers were standing up in the front. He blushed, embarrassed. Rose walked up right as James tried to hold the pillow naturally, trying not to alert Lily's mother to what just happened. She leaned into the room. "Did Lily bring you some pillows?" She asked, seemingly unaware of the situation.

James nodded, indicating the pillow he was holding. "She did. Thank you again for letting me stay, Mrs. Evans."

"I told you you can call me Rose, James. Mrs. Evans makes me feel so old," she said, laughing. He laughed too, running a hand through his hair. She looked at Lily, who was smiling at her, hoping she wouldn't think anything was off. "Do you need anything else?" She asked, looking back at James.

He shook his head. "I don't think so, Mrs- uh, Rose."

"If you need anything feel free to ask, or to get it yourself. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I won't hear if you sneak down to the kitchen to eat some more cookies," she said.

James laughed. She had noticed that he had already eaten most of them. "Thank you."

She nodded. "Good night." She turned to leave and they heard her footsteps retreat into her room and shut the door.

Lily stood, frozen, eyes wide. "Oh, my god," she said quietly. James laughed and crossed the room and slipped his arms around her waist from behind. "We are never doing that again."

"Never?" James asked, smirking. He moved her hair to the side and lowered his mouth to her neck, his breath warm against her skin.

"Well maybe not _never_ , but we shouldn't," she felt his hand slide down to her hips again, "we shouldn't do it while she's around or," she closed her eyes and felt his strong hands pulling her against him, his mouth delicately kissing her neck, his erection pressing against her. She moved against him, causing him to moan quietly into her shoulder. She pressed against him, forgetting what she was saying. He started to work the waistband of her shorts down when Lily came back to reality. "James, stop!" She exclaimed, laughing and smacking his hands away.

"Mmm, you're just too beautiful. I can't help myself," he said into her hair.

"Well, control yourself," Lily ordered, trying to contain her laughter.

"I'll try," James said.

Lily nodded, moving away from him. "Yes. Good." He smiled at her, obviously still flustered. She suddenly blushed and looked at her feet. "Though um, we maybe should um, whenever she's not around, we should-"

He leaned down to kiss her. She stood on her tiptoes to press her mouth more firmly against his, and he pulled away. "Soon, love," he whispered. She wanted to do it all over again. Right now. He kissed her forehead and stepped away. "Good night, Lils."

She nodded weakly. "Good night, James." She stepped out of the room, closing it behind her. She crossed the hallway and went into her own room. She went in and danced around, giggling.

"Well I went to the pet shop and the clerk told me that people don't often keep owls as pets, but they had some other bird treats your owl might enjoy, but if you don't want-"

James shook his head, crossing the room to hug her. "No, it's perfect Mrs., er Rose," he said.

It was Christmas Eve and they were exchanging gifts in the living room. Lily had started a fire and they were all wearing sweaters, drinking hot cocoa. Rose had gotten James a packet of treats for his owl, as she had no idea what wizard teenagers wanted.

She smiled and hugged him back. "Thank you. I hope your owl likes them." She turned to Lily. You can open yours now, Lily."

Lily nodded and pulled the ribbon off of the box she was holding. It was an ABBA record. Lily beamed up at her mother and flipped it over to see what was on it. Dancing Queen and Waterloo were on there, which made her immensely happy. She had also gotten her a book called _The Silmarillion_.

She held it up. "What is this?"

"It's a new book in that series you like, the _Lord of the Rings_ one. It just came out this year, but I think it's a prequel," Rose explained.

Lily nodded and stood up to hug her. "Thank you, mum. I love you."

"You'll have to let me know if the magic is like your magic. Maybe the author is a wizard too," Rose said, laughing. James laughed; it would be hilarious if someone started writing Muggle books about their magic. She turned to look at him. "Do you like ABBA too, James?"

"I don't know what that is," James said.

Her eyes went wide. "Really? They're everywhere!"

Lily laughed, watching this strange interaction between them. "Wizards don't have record players, and they don't really listen to Muggle music." Rose nodded, but still looked at him skeptically. Lily picked up the record and crossed the room to where Rose's record player was sitting. She pulled it out and set it delicately on the platter, pulling the tone arm to rest on it.

It clicked, projecting the song out into the room.

 _My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender_

"I know about Waterloo! We learned about it in Muggle studies. Is this like a battle song?" James asked. Lily and Rose laughed at his ridiculous question. He looked at them, confused. "What?"

 _Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way,_

 _the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself,_

"Waterloo was in 1815. This song came out in 1974," Lily explained, moving to sit down next to James. He slid his arm through hers and around her waist, pulling her closer to him on his spot on the floor. She leaned back against him, the wool of his sweater rubbing against her face.

 _Waterloo, I was defeated, you won the war_

 _Waterloo, promise to love you forever more_

 _Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to_

"I got you something, Rose," James said, standing up.

"James, you didn't have to get me anything!" He shrugged and sheepishly handed her a box that Lily helped him wrapped earlier that night. She pulled it off and folded it into a neat pile next to her.

Inside the box was a small leather book. She opened it, revealing black pages with a couple of wizarding photographs taped onto their surface. There were pictures of Lily and James sitting under the tree on Hogwarts grounds, of Lily and Remus laughing at the dinner table in the Great Hall, Marlene and Lily dancing. "They're moving!" Rose exclaimed.

James laughed. "Yeah, wizarding photographs move. Lily and I figured that since you can't see her for most of the year, you should at least see what she's up to." Rose smiled and nodded up at him. She flipped through the book, revealing more pictures of Lily smiling and laughing with all of their friends. James had to recruit their friends to give them all of the photographs they had taken over the years. He and Lily then spent most of the day building the book, which they had bought at a Muggle shop a few days before.

She reached up and James leaned down to hug her. "Thank you, I love it." She wiped tears from her eyes and laughed. "Well, now you've made me cry."

"His gifts tend to do that," Lily commented, referencing their previous Christmas together.

He grinned. "What can I say? I'm too thoughtful." Lily rolled her eyes and he came back to sit next to her.

"This is so thoughtful, James. Thank you so much," she kept flipping through the book, studying each photograph carefully. "I feel like my present to you is terrible," she lamented.

James shook his head. "No, not at all. My owl is obsessed with treats. She refuses to take letters if you don't giver her at least one snack before she leaves." Rose laughed lightly.

Lily beamed at the pair of them. She stood up and grabbed James' hand. "Come on, I want to teach you how to make cookies." She pulled him up and he nodded vigorously. He had already eaten twelve of the cookies Rose had made before they got there.

"You don't know how to make cookies?" Rose asked, incredulous. "Did you not have a childhood?"

Lily shook her head. "Since they're Purebloods they have house elves as servants. James has never baked in his life." Rose's eyes went wide when Lily said the word 'servants'. The Evanses were by no means poor, but they were thoroughly middle class. They had one car that had to save up for. Servants were a foreign and somewhat ridiculous concept. "I'll have to teach him everything."

Rose stayed in the living room as James and Lily retreated to the kitchen. James twirled her and kissed her. "Teach me the ways of the kitchen," he said, laughing. She smiled and pulled away, grabbing them aprons from the kitchen. She helped James tie his on.

"So you don't get your jumper dirty," she explained. She started pulling things out of the pantry and setting up on the counter. She had James measure things out into measuring cups, showing him how to level off the flour with a knife and sift it into the bowl.

She let him crack the eggs (pulling out chips of the shell occasionally) and went to grab the hand mixer. She came up to his side and plugged it in, flipping on the switch.

James yelled and jumped back as it whirred on. "What the hell is that?" He asked, pressed against the counter behind him, as far from the machine as he could. Lily looked at the mixer, then back at him.

"It's a mixer." She lowered it into the bowl and it began beating the ingredients together. James apprehensively inched forward, peering into the bowl from his spot.

"It's a death machine! What if you got your hand in there?"

"Are you planning to stick your hand in the bowl, James?" She asked. James opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again. "It's not scary." She loosened her grip on it and held it slightly towards him. "Here, try it."

He eyed it suspiciously, but replaced her hand with his. He immediately lost control of it and it hit the side of the bowl, causing dough to launch itself onto the counter and onto Lily.

He frantically hit the off switch and rested it in the bowl. "I'm sorry!"

Lily laughed, looking up at him. "It's okay. We'll just stick to mixing it with a spoon for a while." James nodded, looking back at the mixer with disdain.

He stepped towards Lily. "You have some dough on your face."

"I wonder how that got there?" Lily said sarcastically.

James smirked. "Cheek, Evans." He ran his finger across her face, scooping the dough off. He meant to bring his hand back, but she grabbed it and took his finger in her mouth, licking the mixture off. She looked up at him, still sucking on his finger. He looked into her big, green eyes and his heartbeat took off.

She swirled her tongue around his finger before releasing it. He stared at her, eyes wide, before moving forward and grabbing her face and kissing her. "You can't do that to me, Lils," he whispered as he pulled away.

"Are you going to stop me?" She asked cheekily. James got a blazing look in his eyes and grabbed Lily's hips, lifting her with ease onto the counter. He pulled her to the edge so that her inner thighs were pressed against his sides.

"Never," he replied. He buried his face in her neck and kissed along her pulse point, feeling the rapid rhythm against his lips. He moved his hand from her thighs and slid it under her shirt to her breast, cupping it firmly in his hand. He moved his thumb across her already-hard nipple and flicked it. He could feel her smile as she pressed her chest into him.

 _Ding!_

James jumped back away from Lily looking for the source of the noise. She reopened her eyes and sighed, disappointed he removed himself from her. She jumped down from the counter and moved back to the bowl.

James looked at her sadly. "Wait," he pleaded.

"We have to roll out the dough and get them into the oven," she said, tossing some flour onto the counter and grabbing the rolling pin. She looked behind her and lowered her voice. "And my mum is fifteen feet away."

"If she catches us we can just obliviate her."

"James!"

"Joking!" He exclaimed. She gave him a disapproving look and turned back to the counter. She spread some flour on the surface of the rolling pin and handed it to him.

"Here. You can roll it out." He nodded, and pressed the rolling pin against the mound of dough and tried to move it back and forth, but only creating an inch wide rut. She stepped behind him, wrapped her arms around him, and guided his hands, forcing the pin along the dough, smoothing it out.

"You trying to make a move on me?" James asked, letting Lily's small hands run over his.

"You did the same thing to me when you taught me how to fly!" She protested.

"Yeah, and I was trying to make a move on you."

"You're incorrigible."

"You're adorable."

She scoffed and moved away to grab the cookie cutters. She let James finish and then pressed a Christmas tree shaped cutter into the dough. James grabbed the star and pressed it down. He clumsily removed it and pulled it out of the rest, setting it on the tray next to him. She nodded approvingly. "Well done."

"I'm a master of many talents," he said, smirking. She shook her head and placed some more cookies on the tray. They put them in the oven and sat on the counter waiting for them to finish. James kept sliding his hand up her thigh, and Lily kept playfully smacking it away, though she didn't want to.

When the cookies finished, Rose came into the kitchen. She leaned against the counter as they frosted them. "So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

James wiped his frosting-covered hands on a towel. "So my parents got you set up on the Floo Network, which means we can travel through your fireplace. My parents sent over some Floo powder yesterday that we can use." Rose nodded, though looked confused. "So all you have to do is step into the fireplace and say where you want to go. You'll have to say 'the Potter Estate'. I'll go first and you'll go second so that I'll be there to make sure you make it. Lily will go last so that she can help you."

"So we aren't driving?" Rose asked.

James laughed. "The estate has protective enchantments so that Muggles and others can't come up on it. Especially with everything going on, the only way in and out right now is approved Floo Networks."

"Don't worry mum, it isn't hard. The only thing to remember is to speak really clearly. Sometimes people don't say things clearly and they end up in the wrong grate. Though usually people aren't that stupid," Lily offered, attempting to ease her worries. She nodded and smiled weakly.

She grabbed the cookie James just frosted and took a bite. "Not bad for your first time," she said through her mouthful. James beamed at her and Lily, who shook her head and laughed at his grin.


	35. Christmas at the Potters'

"Okay, speak _very_ clearly. 'The Potter Estate'," Lily instructed, holding the bowl of Floo powder out.

Rose nodded and took a handful. "The Potter Estate!" She exclaimed, throwing down the Floo powder. She disappeared in the green flames, a look of terror on her face. Lily just hoped she disappeared to the right place.

James caught Rose as she fell out of the fireplace, looking sick. "You did it!" She nodded and clung to him. He helped her over to a chair and she sat down, breathing heavily.

"I never want to do that again," she said.

Fleamont brought her a glass of water. "I'm afraid you might have to to get home. Unless you want James to take you back on his broom. Or I could Apparate with you, but I think that's arguably worse."

James nodded. "It's definitely worse."

Rose shook her head. "What do wizards have against comfortable transportation?"

Lily appeared at that moment, gracefully stepping out of the fireplace, tapping her feet against the hearth to shake off the soot. "You made it!" She exclaimed when she saw Rose.

"Barely," she commented. Lily laughed and Fleamont crossed the room to pull Lily into a hug.

"It's good to see you, dear," he said. He smelled like pipe smoke.

"Thank you, thank you for inviting us," she said as he released her.

"Of course!" Euphemia exclaimed, entering the room and also embracing Lily. She turned to Rose. "It's good to see you! How was Flooing over here?"

"It was… fine," Rose said, though her tone said otherwise.

Fleamont stepped up and helped her as she stood. "We haven't officially been introduced. I'm Fleamont Potter."

She took his hand. "Rose Evans, thank you for inviting us." Fleamont smiled and nodded.

"Shall we?" Euphemia asked and led them to the parlor down the hall. They all settled in.

Not long after they got comfortable, Sirius paraded into the room in his Gryffindor jumper. "Listen, Mia, I'm not saying that the vase in the hall is broken, but the vase in the hall may or may not be broken." He saw Lily. "Evans!" He crossed the room and pulled her into a big hug.

"What did you do, Sirius?" Mia asked suspiciously.

"Well it's honestly not my fault. You see they should really make the bottom of vases sturdier so that they don't fall so easily, say, when a devilishly handsome young man brings his broom in and turns it, causing it to _ever so slightly_ bump it. It's the maker's fault really-"

"Would this devilishly handsome young man be you?" She asked.

"Oh Mia, this is all hypothetical. You know I would _never_ be so careless with your precious items."

She laughed and shook her head. "Did you try repairing it?" He nodded. "And it didn't work?" He shook his head. She sighed. "Go see if Nonney can fix it, and if not, you owe me a vase."

"How much can a vase cost? Three Sickles?"

"When the vase has been passed down in our family for generations and is rumored to be a gift from Godric Gryffindor himself, I'd say it would cost a bit more." Sirius' eyes went wide. "So you better hope that it works," Euphemia said, her words threatening, but her tone light and forgiving.

"Got it." He dashed out of the room, yelling for Nonney.

Euphemia looked over at Fleamont, who shrugged. "It wasn't that pretty of a vase anyways."

"Is that your other son?" Rose asked.

Fleamont laughed. "Oh no. He might as well be, though. That's James' friend, Sirius Black. We have somewhat adopted him."

"Is he an orphan?" Rose questioned, not meaning to pry, but interested.

"He wishes," James commented dryly. Rose looked at him, startled. Euphemia gave him a look, and James mouthed, 'sorry'.

Euphemia cleared her throat. "Sirius' family are Purebloods, like us, but they hold the belief that Muggleborns are," she paused, thinking of the best way to say this politely, "inferior." Rose nodded, as she was recently enlightened on the political tension within the Wizarding world. "Sirius does not share that belief, and that caused some _issues_ to arise. We took him in when he was sixteen," Euphemia finished.

"Oh. Well, that's awfully kind of you," Rose said in response.

"My parents are downright saints for putting up with the both of us," James said, laughing. Lily nodded, in complete agreement. Fleamont guffawed, grabbing his stomach. As his laughter died, one of the house elves came in, causing Rose to jump and yelp.

"So sorry Miss! Farby didn't mean to startle you, Miss! Farby wants to know if the Misses or Messrs would like a a drink before dinner is served," the house elf said, bowing.

Rose looked at Lily and at Euphemia, unsure of what to do. Euphemia spoke up. "Will you bring us all some mead, dear?" Farby nodded and excitedly trotted off to the kitchen. "That would be one of our house elves, Rose. Fleamont inherited them with the house." Rose nodded, staring at the moving portraits on the walls.

"So, what do you do?" Rose asked, pulling her eyes from one of the frames on the wall in attempt to make conversation.

"Well I'm a potions master. I created the Sleekeazy potion. It helps unruly hair." Rose snorted slightly, but immediately looked apologetic. Fleamont laughed. "It works well, but not that well."

"Hey!" James argued. Rose gave him an apologetic look.

"I work in the Ministry. It's the wizard government," Euphemia explained. "What do you do?"

"I'm a florist," Rose said.

"How fitting!" Fleamont said, beaming. Rose nodded, slightly embarrassed. Farby brought a tray, supporting it over his head with glasses of mead for all of them. Fleamont took it from him and thanked him, passing out the glasses.

Lily took hers and took a sip. James leaned over and clinked their glasses together. "Cheers."

"Cheers." Everyone clinked their glasses against one another's and took a sip. They talked for a while longer until another house elf came into tell them that dinner was ready. They all rose and followed him into the dining room, where the table was set lavishly and piled high with food.

Rose gasped when she saw the array, and Euphemia smiled. They all sat down and began serving themselves. Sirius came in, grinning. "All fixed, Mia."

She beamed at him. "Thank you, Sirius. Next time let's keep an eye out when we have our broom in the house, yeah?" Sirius nodded sheepishly as he slid into the seat next to Lily.

"This is a lovely home," Rose commented, passing a plate to Fleamont.

"Thank you! It has been in the family for centuries, it is actually rumored that it was the ancestral home of the Peverells, you see…" Fleamont began, immediately losing James' attention.

"Have you had a good holiday so far, Sirius?" Lily asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, Moony came to stay for a couple of days, and I've been getting all of Mia's attention, since her son decided to _abandon_ her on Christmas," he said, grinning at James.

James rolled his eyes. "We're here on actual Christmas, isn't that good enough?" Sirius shrugged. "And we're here for the rest of the holiday."

"Did you bring me a present, Lils?" Sirius asked, his mouth full of potatoes.

"Maybe."

"Is it a motorcycle? You promised me one last Christmas, remember?" Sirius reminded her, grinning.

Lily shook her head. "No you _asked_ for a motorcycle. I never said I would actually get you one."

"I knew you were lying when you told me we were family," Sirius huffed, attempting to look disappointed.

"How about you buy the motorcycle and I'll buy you a helmet?" Lily asked, laughing at his ridiculous, pouty expression.

"Do you honestly think I would wear a helmet? With all of this glorious hair?" He flipped it over his shoulder. "Not a chance. It needs to be free in the wind."

"Are you actually going to get a motorcycle one day?" James asked. Sirius nodded. "Aren't they like, dangerous?"

"No more dangerous than riding a broom," Lily pointed out.

"I beg to differ," James argued.

"James is just upset because we made him ride in a car and he didn't like it," Lily explained.

"It was basically a metal death box! Did you know Muggles strap themselves in to keep themselves from ejecting from the car at random?" James asked Sirius.

"Sounds fun," Sirius commented, obviously not riled up by James' dramatic description of cars.

"Don't exaggerate, James. The 'strap' is only if you're in a really bad crash." Lily took the basket of rolls from Euphemia on her right, taking one and passing it along. "Whereas there's nothing stopping you from flying off of your broom. _And_ you're ten meters above the ground."

James shook his head. "Agree to disagree." He cut open his roll, releasing curls of steam into the air above him, and buttered it before shoving almost all of it into his mouth.

"So, Lily, you're top of your class?" Fleamont asked. Rose beamed.

"Well, in a few subjects. James has me beat in Transfiguration, and-"

"She's being modest, Monty. She got an outstanding on every single O.W.L. And she can do a nonverbal Patronus," Sirius bragged.

"Nonverbal?" He asked. Lily nodded. "That's rather impressive. I don't think I really mastered nonverbal spells until after I left Hogwarts."

"And she's been brewing Wolfsbane for Moony since the beginning of sixth year," James added. Lily shot him a warning look, but he kept going. "You wouldn't believe the difference."

"What's Wolfsbane? What's Moony?" Rose asked, looking at Lily.

"Moony is my friend Remus. He gets sick a lot and Wolfsbane helps uh," she frantically tried to think of a word, " _deter_ illnesses." Rose nodded, but gave her a peculiar look.

"Wolfsbane?" Fleamont asked. Lily nodded, looking down at her plate. "That's incredible, Lily. That's an extremely difficult potion."

"She even made some changes so he-" Lily smacked James' leg under the table, "feels better."

"What kind of illness does he have?" Rose asked.

"Oh you know, he just feels under the weather a lot, colds, stomach flu, stuff like that," Lily said quickly.

"You've been making changes to it? And it has worked?" Fleamont asked, incredulous. He was staring at Lily now. She nodded again. He sat back in his chair and looked at her for a long moment. She blushed hard under his scruntity. "I'm quite impressed."

"Thank you, sir," Lily responded, her cheeks bright red.

"I always knew she was smart!" Rose said to Fleamont. He nodded in agreement.

"James is right there with me though. He can do a lot of stuff I can't. And he studies less than I do," Lily said, desperately trying to direct attention away from her.

"Yeah, but I never got the potions gift," James said. "Being good at Potions is what impresses him."

"You're good at Potions!" Lily protested. "We've been partners the past two years, he's really good at Potions," she said to Fleamont.

"I don't doubt it," Fleamont said, nodding. "You don't have to be so modest, Lily." She smiled and nodded awkwardly.

Dinner progressed and they all continued to talk even after the plates were cleared. The Potters were immensely fascinated by Rose's everyday Muggle life and asked her countless questions about mundane things. She explained the Underground for twenty-five minutes before they ran out of questions. James recounted his hyperbolic tale of battling death in Rose's car, much to everyone's amusement, and Lily told them all how James had failed at making cookies. Though she pointedly left out some key aspects of that story.

Much to Lily's dismay, they did end up discussing politics and the war and Rose followed along, interjecting with questions. She could tell that by the end of their conversation, Rose was more worried than she had ever been before, despite the Potters' reassurances.

They all ran out of things to say, and Rose announced that she better get back home. Lily hugged her and Rose told her that she needed to write her every day, to be polite, and everything that a mother warns before leaving her child.

"I will, mum, I promise," Lily said, trying to wriggle out of the hug.

"Just please be safe, Lily. I love you," Rose whispered as she let go of her. James had already Flooed to Lily's house and was waiting to make sure Rose got there alright. Fleamont helped her into the fireplace and handed her the pot of Floo powder. "Evanses' house!" She yelled, and she disappeared.

She appeared in front of James and he helped dust her off and step out of the grate. "Thank you for coming, Rose. I could tell my family really liked you."

"Thank you for staying with me and Lily for a while. I enjoyed your company." James nodded, about to step back into the fire. Rose grabbed his hand and he stopped. "I can tell she really likes you, James. I'm glad she found you. But please, keep her safe. I can't lose another family member," she said quietly.

James stomach knotted. "Of course. I promise, nothing is going to happen to us." Rose nodded and let him go, watching him as he spun into the bright green flames.

"Your parents are so calm! My mother would lay into me if I broke a thousand year old vase."

James sat on her bed next to her. "If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?" Lily nodded, apprehensive. He sighed. "Sirius was... he was pretty severely abused when he was younger." Lily gasped. "Yeah. In Walburga's eyes, there was nothing worse than a son who was 'Mudblood lover' and hung out with blood traitors like me. It was why he ran away."

"That's terrible," Lily said quietly.

James nodded. "So the reason my parents are so calm about everything is because they want Sirius to feel loved and welcomed. All the stuff that happened to him when he was younger... it," James got a weird look in his eye, "it really messed with him in some ways." He shook his head. "When he first came my mum was angry about something the Ministry did and she snapped at me when I tracked in mud. You should have seen Sirius' face. He was terrified."

"I knew his parents were awful, but I didn't think that…" she trailed off.

James nodded. "Yeah, he doesn't act like it. I think he's been doing better since he moved in with us, but some of the stuff, it still affects him. My mum and dad really try to not get angry with us, just for his sake. He's been through too much and they want to help him get better. He's gotten really close with my mum. I think she talks to him a lot about his family, helps him through things."

"Wow."

"Like I said, my parents are saints. I sometimes think he lashes out because of that stuff. Especially with Wormy. After what happened in Hogsmeade, when he went off on him, I think a lot of that stuff came from the anger he was feeling. His cousin Bellatrix attacked Alice."

"He talked to me a little bit about his family," Lily said, watching James' face.

"Yeah?"

Lily nodded. "He was upset, and he said that he was a coward for turning on his own family. But I told him he was brave. I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to run away. I wish I knew how bad they were before. I wonder if I've ever done anything to upset him," Lily wondered aloud, to no one in particular.

"I'm sure you haven't," James said. "He loves you."

"Do you think the reason he was so afraid to come out was because his family is homophobic too?"

James nodded. "Probably. As if marrying your cousin is better than being gay."

"I'm sure people in your family have married their cousins too, James. All of you Purebloods are weird."

"I guess we'll have to break the tradition," James said, leaning in to kiss her.

"What?" James realized what he said. He hadn't meant to say it, it just slipped out.

He laughed and ruffled his hair. "I'm just kidding." He was not, in fact, kidding.

She narrowed her eyes, suspicious. "Yeah, okay." She looked at the clock. It was nearly eleven. "I guess we should go to bed."

"Is that an invitation?" He asked, grinning.

"What did we say about fooling around when our parents are around?" She scolded.

James hung his head. "Not to."

She laughed and nodded. "Alright, let's go to bed."

"Well at least let me give you something to remember me by," James said, standing.

"I'll see you in like, seven hours."

"That's a long time, love." He pulled his sweater over his head, revealing his chiseled abdomen. She stared at him for a moment, her eyes trailing to the V carved into his hips that plunged into his low-waisted pants. He had a line of hair starting under his navel that wove its way downward as well, just as unruly as the mess on top of his head.

She wanted to get his pants off. "That's not fair," she complained.

He grinned, crossing his arms over his chest, obviously flexing his biceps. She watched the vein on his upper arm press against his dark skin and bit her lip. "Can't resist?"

She smirked at him and pulled her own shirt over her head. James watched her as she unhooked her bra and set it to the side. "Can you?"

They were in a shirtless stand-off. Ridiculous. James tried to maintain eye-contact with her, but she moved and couldn't resist letting his gaze drop to watch her breasts move freely. She smirked, but James was unaffected by her smugness. Her skin had goose-bumps and her nipples were hard in the cold of the room. He moved forward and tried to reach out to her, but she grabbed his sweater and slid it over her head.

"Thanks for the jumper, Potter," she said, teasingly. He whined and leaned against the bed. She stood up and shimmied her pants off, leaving her in nothing but his sweater, coming down to just cover the tops of her thighs.

"You're a minx. An absolute tease," he complained.

"You started it," she retorted. He groaned. "Night, love." She reached up and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

He sighed heavily and kissed her forehead. "Good night." He trudged out of the room and stepped over to his own door, closing it behind him. It was going to be a long week.

"Lily? Could I talk with you for a moment?" Fleamont asked, poking his head into one of the many lounges throughout the estate. Lily's stomach dropped. That phrase never had good intentions. She nodded, standing up. "I just want to show you something," he explained. She looked back over her shoulder at James, who shrugged.

She followed him out of the room and down a flight of stairs, one Lily didn't know was there. It became darker and colder the further down they went. She laughed nervously, listening to their steps echo behind them. He smiled back at her. "Don't worry, we're almost there." They rounded a corner and he grabbed a large, brass doorknob, giving it a jerky turn.

He pushed open the door to reveal his surprise. There was a tiny stream of sunlight filtering in through a slit-like window at the very top of the far wall, and candles provided light to illuminate the rest of the room.

Lily stepped in, amazed. There were four tables, all lined with cauldrons simmering quietly. On the walls were floor to ceiling shelves with endless ingredients from every place in the world. She stared at the room in front of her, in awe.

"I thought you might like to see this," Fleamont said. Lily nodded, not taking her eyes off of the shelves next to her. "As you can see, I have lots of ingredients," he joked. "Here, look." He pushed on one of the shelves, revealing that it was able to slide. There was yet another bookcase behind it, but this one held hundreds of books. "Every book that even mentions potions is on this shelf." Lily stepped forward and gingerly reached out to run her finger along the spine of the book closest to her. "Information about ingredients, recipes, theories, experiments, history, anything you could possibly want to know about potions is in this room."

Lily was silent. She moved slowly along the length of the shelves, occasionally picking up a jar or thumbing through a book. Fleamont watched her, smiling. She set down a jar of lizard eggs and looked back at him. "I cannot even express how amazing this is, sir."

"Do you like it?" She nodded. "I thought you might. When James said you had been experimenting with Wolfsbane I knew you had the potion gift in you." She smiled. "I actually would really appreciate if you would write down the changes you've made and add it to my shelf over here."

"Of course, sir!" She sat down and he brought her a small notebook and a quill. "I met a friend of yours at Professor Slughorn's Christmas party. His name is Tobias, uh, something."

"Oh yes, Tobias is a dear friend. He's been in here a few times too. One of the few. Even James doesn't know this room exists."

Lily laughed. "Why not?"

"Well at first it was for his safety. Can you imagine what would have happened if those four boys had gotten their hands on some of the stuff in here?" She raised her eyebrows, indicating she could think of a few disastrous outcomes. "Now it's for my own sanity." She gave him a peculiar look. "It can get crazy around here. It's nice to have a place to retreat to. Euphemia only comes down here if there's an emergency."

"So I actually have kept a log of my experimentations, but it's at Hogwarts, I'll make a copy and send it to you to have along with this one."

"A log?"

"I would make an adjustment, give the potion to Remus, and see if there were any changes. Any time I changed anything, I kept the same change for two or three months and noted how it affected him, to see if it was a fluke or if it really did help," Lily explained.

Fleamont beamed. "A true potions master. You're going to do well, Lily."

"Tobias said that I could apply for apprenticeship once I graduate," Lily told him, smiling at him. He reminded her a lot of her own father.

"I'll send him a letter, maybe one day the three of us could come down here and work on something together," Fleamont offered. "He's a brilliant man. I've never seen anyone understand potions quite like him. Though maybe you're the next."

Lily blushed. "Thank you sir, I would like that very much." She finished writing and handed the book to him.

"You're welcome to take any books you want, or any ingredients you might need for Wolfsbane. You can also send me an owl during the term and I'll send you anything you want."

"You're too nice, Mr. Potter, thank you-"

"You can call me Monty," he said, grinning. He sat back and watched as Lily went over to the shelf and selected a couple of books to take with her. She sheepishly pulled them off of the shelves as he nodded at her or made comments about her selection.

Once she had her books with her and Fleamont had grabbed a couple jarfuls of ingredients to put in her bag upstairs, they reascended into the living room. James was wandering around the house calling for her. They were so far below ground she hadn't heard him.

"I'm here!" She called out. Fleamont told her he would put the things in her room and disappeared. She promised not to tell anyone what he showed her.

James came trotting down the steps. "Where have you been?"

"Oh you know, around. Got lost for a little while," That wasn't a lie. She had no idea where she was.

James peered at her, suspicious. "Yeah, alright." Lily smiled sweetly and she took his hand to go find Sirius.

"What is that smell?" James asked, entering Lily's room.

"Nail polish," Lily replied, looking down in concentration.

"What?"

"It's paint, for your fingernails, Prongs," Sirius explained. James came over and sat on the bed with them, looking at Sirius' outstretched hands with confusion. Lily was sitting cross-legged with Sirius' already-painted hand on her knee and his other in her hand as she finished his pinky.

"Why?"

"'Cause it looks pretty," Sirius said, holding out his finished hand to him. James took it and moved it around, seeing how the dark purple reflected the light as he turned it back and forth. "Cool, right?" James nodded, setting Sirius'' hand back down on Lily's knee.

"Do you want me to do yours, James?" Lily asked, screwing the top back on the bottle and letting Sirius' hand go. He flapped his arms up and down, attempting to dry the paint faster.

"No, thank you," he wrinkled his nose, "I don't like the smell."

"It goes away once it dries," Sirius said. James shrugged and leaned back against the pillows, stretching his long legs out on the bed.

"So it's our last day on break, what are we going to do?" James asked.

"I'm going to Moony's today. We're leaving from his house for King's Cross tomorrow," Sirius said, standing up and moving his hands back and forth.

"Should we have not painted your nails?" Lily questioned, worried about what Remus' parents might think.

Sirius shrugged. "Don't know. See you back at Hogwarts," he said, leaving the room. He shut the door behind him as he went.

James turned his head to Lily. "So what are _we_ going to do, I guess."

"I don't know, I have some reading I should get done," Lily said, causing James to pout. She laughed. "I'm just kidding. This is probably one of the few times we're going to be alone without being bothered by the rest of our friends."

James smiled slyly. "Alone?"

Lily laughed. "Where did you say your parents' room was again?"

James sat up abruptly and moved closer to her. "Three floors up and seven doors down."

"Thought about that a lot, have you?" Lily teased.

"Not as much as this." He leaned forward and kissed her. She moved forward and he grabbed her waist, pulling her onto his lap. She grinded her hips against him and he moaned quietly into her mouth. He immediately dropped his hands to her hips and began pulling off her shirt.

She helped him by flinging her shirt to the side and unclasping her bra. He looked on in awe as she revealed her bare chest to him. "Fuck, I love you so much," James said as he leaned forward to take one of her nipples into his mouth.

She giggled. "Do you love me, or do you love my chest?"

"Both," James said, coming up for a brief second. She gasped as he came back down and bit her nipple slightly. She moved her hips against him again, feeling a bulge growing against her.

"Off." She ordered. James looked up at her confused as she reached down to grab the hem of his shirt. "I want this off." He happily complied and pulled his shirt off, setting it next to them. Lily leaned back for a second, taking in him in. She ran her hands over his lean but muscular frame, tracing her fingers along the lines defining his muscles.

She grabbed his shoulders and rocked against him again, causing him to moan louder. She moved one of her hands to cover his mouth and shook her head. He laughed and mouthed 'sorry'. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, their bare chests touching each other.

She pulled away. "Let go."

James shook his head. "Absolutely not."

She laughed. "I'm not saying stop, I'm saying let me go." He slowly loosened his grip and she removed herself from his lap. "I want to, I want to try something," she explained. He nodded, watching her with interest. She smiled awkwardly and leaned forward, pushing his shoulders back, forcing him to lay down.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking down his body at her. She didn't say anything but rather laughed nervously and reached for his belt. She undid the buckle and unbutton his jeans. She started to pull them down, and James lifted his hips, assisting her. His erection caused his boxers to stand up, and she removed those too, exposing him. "Lils, you-"

He was cut off by Lily taking him in her hand and moving it up and down. James gasped and laid his head back against the pillow for a second. He shut his eyes, relishing in the sensation.

He was not prepared to feel Lily's tongue on him. He cried out softly and she waved her hand at him to shush him. He looked down at her and made eye contact as she licked the vein pressing against his skin. He was breathing heavily, staring at her in shock. Nothing had ever felt so good in his entire life.

She moved her tongue up and circled the tip, before sliding her mouth over it slowly. He had to bite his lip to keep from moaning. She moved her head up, then down again, torturously slow, taking more of him into her mouth each time. He tentatively reached out his hand and slid it into her hair. She looked up at him and gave an almost imperceptible nod. He used his new leverage to guide her head up and down, faster than her pace before.

She moaned and he felt the vibration of the noise around him, almost pushing him to the edge. He started moving her head faster, watching her to make sure that he wasn't doing too much. She looked at him, her big green eyes staring at him with a fierce intensity that made him unable to hold off any longer. "Oh my- _fuck_." He shut his eyes tight and involuntarily lifted his hips up, pushing himself further into her mouth. He finished, slumping back against the bed, panting heavily.

Lily lifted her head up, coughed quietly, and wiped her mouth on her arm. She wasn't fully prepared for what came, but she didn't want James to know."I haven't done that before, so I'm sorry if it was-"

"Lily, that was literally the best thing that has ever happened to me," he said, too spent to sit back up.

She laughed. "You're such a teenage boy."

"You're such an amazing girlfriend." He sat up and kissed her. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Would you still love me if I was bad at it?" She asked, groping behind her for her clothes.

"You could never be bad at anything, Evans," James said, beaming. He stopped her from putting her shirt back on and grabbed her again, kissing her as he ran his hands along her body.

No one seemed to miss them much as they spent the afternoon tucked away in James' bedroom, undisturbed for several more hours.


	36. Say Yes to Distress

Lily, Mary, and Marlene half-jogged behind Alice tearing through the corridor. Her rapid footsteps beat the stone floor, causing echoes to ricochet through the hall. "This is never going to work," Lily called, half out of breath.

"Well there's no more Hogsmeade weekends, and it's now or never," Alice shot back over her shoulder.

"She's never going to say yes," Marlene reminded her.

"I'll pull the dead parents card."

"Alice!" Mary exclaimed in shock.

"Mary!"

"You can't use your dead parents to get McGonagall let us go to London this weekend," Mary said.

"I need to get my wedding dress, and you lot need your bridesmaid dresses, and if McGonagall thinks she or Voldemort or whoever is going make me put my wedding on hold, then she's wrong." Alice pulled on the heavy doorknob and let herself into McGonagall's office.

Lily looked around the room. It was small, but there was a large fire crackling behind her. Lily's eyes flitted towards the window, where she noticed you could get a good look at the Quidditch pitch. "I would appreciate it if you knocked before entering my office, ladies," McGonagall said, not looking up from the pile of papers she was sifting through. She lowered her glasses and peered over them at the group before her. "What can I do for you?"

"We need permission to leave the castle this weekend, Professor," Alice said, bringing herself to her full height and speaking with confidence. Lily looked from her to McGonagall's inscrutable face.

"And why is that?" She asked.

"I need to get my wedding dress, and Mary, Marlene, and Lily need to get their bridesmaid dresses," Alice replied. The other three girls stood behind her, not making eye contact with their professor.

McGonagall set her quill down and sighed. "You do realize the restrictions we have in place are for your own safety?" Alice gave a sharp nod. "I'm assuming this is un-important to you," she said, smiling slightly.

"With all due respect, Professor, this is my wedding. And I'm not going to let silly things like safety restrictions keep me from having the dress I want," Alice said, hands on her hips.

"And I don't suppose I can stop you?" McGonagall asked, looking pointedly at Lily. Lily smiled awkwardly, knowing that McGonagall meant James could help them sneak out of the castle.

Alice shook her head. "No, I don't suppose so."

McGonagall sighed again and sat back in her chair. "Will you agree to let one of our Aurors come with you?"

"That depends on who it is, Professor."

McGonagall watched them for a moment, causing them all to shift uncomfortably. Alice held her ground and stared their professor down. She sighed and nodded. "I will tentatively say yes. I will speak with Dumbledore and see if we can arrange someone to accompany you."

Alice beamed. "Thank you Professor, I really appreciate it." Lily looked at McGonagall in shock. She would not have expected it to be that easy.

"You can go, I will contact Dumbledore soon," she explained, waving them out and returning to her papers.

"How did that work?" Mary whispered as soon as Alice shut the heavy door behind them. Alice shrugged and they started their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

"So where are we going?" Lily asked.

"I found a couple of Muggle shops in London I thought we could try. Frank's mum is smothering me in Pureblood traditions, so I thought I might branch out a little," she explained.

"Who do you think they'll send with us?" Marlene asked.

"I hope they send someone younger, preferably a girl," Alice said, "I don't think I would want a man, let alone a man who's a completely stranger sitting in on this." They all nodded in agreement.

"Can you imagine if she asked Moody to come with us?" Mary said. All of the girls burst out laughing at the thought of Alastor Moody sitting in a dress shop, delicately sipping champagne and commenting on which dress style fit Alice best.

"Do you think they'll meet us there, or will they get us here?" Lily asked as they rounded a corner. She looked ahead of them suddenly. She thought she saw someone moving, but no one was there. It must have been Mrs. Norris or Peeves going into one of the classrooms to avoid them.

"I would imagine that they would meet us here, since they probably would want to accompany us along the whole route. We could be stopped anywhere in London, by Muggles too, even," Alice said. They reached the tower and Marlene gave the password. They went through the common room and up the steps to the girl's dorm.

Lily stepped in, immediately noticing the empty bed where she would have been if she wasn't Head Girl. She sat on it, reclaiming her place. Mary looked at her and smirked. Alice pulled out a book and sat down next to Lily, causing the other girls to gather around. "These are pictures from my parent's wedding," she explained, opening it to the first picture of a young couple laughing and smiling at the camera. "I want to have something similar to this, though my parents had included way fewer Pureblood traditions than we have to. You wouldn't believe how many hoops you have to jump through."

"Why?" Mary asked, reaching out and flipping to the next page.

"Frank's mother is an unrelenting old sod," Alice muttered.

"Alice! That's your future mother-in-law!" Lily scolded.

Alice shrugged. "I'm getting started early." Lily smiled and shook her head at her. "I'm hoping we can find something in only one trip. If not, we're kind of screwed."

"I don't think McGonagall would let us out a second time," Lily agreed.

"Let's hope everything goes well," Alice said, closing the book.

The four of them stood in the entrance hall, clutching their cloaks to their chest against the January wind, waiting on their escort. After several minutes with no sign of them, Alice shrugged and headed out the door. Lily didn't move. "Alice! We're supposed to wait on our escort!"

"We'll probably run into them along the way, come on. We aren't going to have enough time to look if we don't get going," she said, already out the front doors. Lily shook her head and followed close behind.

They reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade and waited for a second, looking around for anyone who might be trying to find them. Alice reached out her hand to the rest, about to Apparate when a pink-cheeked, black haired woman came trotting up to them. "So sorry I'm late, ladies, Albus and I were just catching up," she said, smoothing out her hair curly, natural hair. They all stared at her for a moment. An awkward silence filled the space between them as she looked at the girls in front of her. She spoke again. "I'm Hestia Jones, I'll be coming with you on your little excursion today."

"Is Dumbledore not in his office?" Lily asked.

The woman jumped and looked over at her. "What?"

"You were catching up with Dumbledore down here?"

She nodded sharply. "Yes. Three Broomsticks."

Alice looked at them both before speaking up. "Alice," she said as she stuck out her hand, which Hestia took. "Pleased to meet you."

She nodded. "So, it's your wedding, then?" Alice nodded. "I know your fiancé's mother. Sprightly."

"That's one word to describe her," Alice commented. Hestia nodded and crossed her arms to protect herself from the cold. Alice watched her for a moment. "Ready to go?" Hestia nodded and they all put their hands in, letting Alice apparate them to London.

They landed in a back alley with a thud. Lily immediately pulled out her wand and the others did the same, on high alert for anyone that might have recognized the distinct sound they had just made.

Hestia edged around the corner, peeking both ways before walking out and signaling the girls to follow her. She nodded. "Lead the way." Alice ducked her head down and started down the sidewalk, the rest of the party in tow.

After a long walk they made their way into downtown London near the Thames. They reached a storefront with elegant and tall mannequins posed in impossible positions. Each was contorted to display the dresses in such a way that one couldn't help but stop and admire them for a second. Alice looked around behind them, then entered the shop.

Lily stepped in, immediately grateful for the warm air that enveloped her. A skinny woman dressed in all black beamed at them as she came out from behind the counter. "What brings you in today?" She asked, looking at the them with interest.

"I made an appointment, by telephone a while back," Lily noticed her strange pronunciation of telephone, "my wedding is in a few months," Alice started, nervously setting her bag on one of the sofas, "I need a dress, and so do my bridesmaids," she said, indicating the girls behind her.

"Excellent!" She looked at them, and Lily could tell she was mentally assessing them, their size, shape, color palette. She turned back to Alice. "Why don't we get you started with a few, and the rest of you can have a look around and see if you see anything that catches your eye for your gowns." She swept Alice away and immediately began chatting with her about style, length, shape, all things Lily hadn't even thought about.

Lily, Mary, and Marlene all looked around apprehensively. Lily had never been in a shop like this before. "Did she say what color or anything?" Marlene asked quietly, headed towards a rack of floor length gowns.

Lily shook her head. "I didn't think we'd be left to our own devices." They advanced towards the sea of color and fabric, slightly pawing their way through each shelf. Lily looked around. "Do you think she'll want red, for Gryffindor?" She drifted towards a section bursting with red color.

She tugged on a few, pulling them out to show the rest of their party. Lily was going for slimmer, more sheer fabrics. She didn't think Alice would want her bridesmaids to be wearing large ball gowns that took up the entire aisle. She thought about that for moment. "Do we have to walk down the aisle with the groomsmen, or will we be by ourselves?" she asked.

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know, I hope not. I don't even know who Frank's groomsmen are." She turned back around. "Her favorite color is blue, what about that?" Marlene asked, pointing at a teal gown. Lily released her hold on one of the red dresses and crossed over to Marlene.

Mary pulled something off of the hanger and held it up. "What do you think of this one?"

Lily turned towards her and surveyed the gown Mary was holding. It was green and had a flared bottom with taffeta underneath, but it wasn't large enough to impede them. Lily nodded and Mary draped it over her arm, continuing to look through the piles of dresses in front of her.

They searched for another twenty minutes or so before a voice brought them back. "Come around, girls, I think Alice has found a few she would like to try on!" A second, shorter and more plump saleslady called out to them cheerfully. They all nodded, relieved. They left the dresses on the racks and followed her. "Here, sit, sit." She escorted them to the couch and started passing out champagne flutes. She looked up. "You too dear!" She called out to Hestia, who was standing near the door, watching the passer bys through the window.

Hestia looked up, stunned. She shook her head. "No I'm just," she looked around, "here." The shop girl looked at her, bewildered, then turned to the girls on the couch like she was expecting an explanation. They shrugged and gave her a look, hoping to dismiss Hestia's strange behavior as a simple personality quirk. "Think I'll just wait outside," she said gruffly. The saleslady nodded, watching her go.

The original woman came out of the dressing room before Alice, holding the door open and helping her out. Alice was wearing a large white ball gown with taffeta around the hem, forcing the sides out into a hoop that surrounded her. She admired herself in the mirror for a moment, then turned to face them. "What do you think?"

"It's very pretty," Lily said, admiring the sheen of the fabric.

Mary coughed awkwardly. "Alice, I hate to say this but, do you think you should get a dress you can move around in easily in case," she stopped before revealing too much to the women around them. They both looked at her, confused.

Alice looked back in the mirror, then tried to walk towards her reflection. "You're right."

"That's rather dark, isn't it," Marlene commented quietly to Lily. Lily nodded.

"I think I'll try that smaller one next, Miranda," Alice said, smiling sweetly at the girl who helped her. She nodded and helped Alice back into the room.

"You don't think the wedding will get attacked, do you?" Lily asked, her voice barely audible.

Mary shrugged. "I didn't think Hogsmeade would be attacked."

Lily was about to say something else, but Miranda reappeared with Alice. This dress was not a ball gown, and Alice proved she could move with agility in it without raising suspicion. Lily kept nervously looking back at the door, trying to see out the window to where Hestia was standing. Hestia looked back in the store and gave a sharp nod to Lily when they made eye contact. Lily assumed this was a reassuring gesture supposed to let her know that all was well.

Another hour passed as she tried on several more dresses, finally resurfacing in a slim, long sleeved dress whose neckline swept right below her collarbones. There was a line of circular buttons descending down her back, and a slight train. She turned in the mirror, looking herself up and down.

"You look gorgeous, Alice. This one is my favorite," Mary said. Marlene nodded vigorously. Alice laughed and ran her hands down her torso, feeling the fabric against her skin. She stared at herself for several more minutes, obviously scrutinizing every minute detail.

"I think Frank will like it a lot," Lily said, beaming.

"Do you guys really like it?" She asked. They all nodded. She looked at herself again. "I love it. I think it's the one." The girls cheered and stood up to hug her. She laughed and hugged them all from her position on the little pedestal they had given her. "I think this is it," she said, reiterating her point.

"It's absolutely lovely, dear," Miranda said. "This is a sale item, so you can take it as is, or we can alter in shop, if you like. You would just need to come in for a few fittings between now and your wedding."

Alice shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I know someone who can make the alterations for me," she said, biting back a smile. Lily knew this 'person' she was alluding to was simply the magical changes Alice could make herself. "I don't think I would be able to make time to come back here."

Miranda nodded, though Lily could tell she was slightly miffed. She disappeared back in the dressing room to help Alice out of the dress, then returned and looked at them. "Bridesmaids dresses. Did you find any?" They all looked down and shook their heads. She turned back to Alice. "What were you thinking, dear?"

Alice looked up. "Oh I don't, I don't know." She furrowed her brow. "I guess not anything red or pink, because of Lily's hair."

"You don't have to base your color scheme on my hair, Alice," Lily said, laughing.

"What about blue?" Mary asked.

Alice nodded. "I like blue, that's good." Miranda swept towards the other side of the room, handing the dress bag with Alice's gown in it to the other saleslady. She went to the counter and set it down before returning to her previous spot. Miranda plucked out several types of dresses and slung them over her arm. They all were blue, though the shades varied greatly.

She came back over to the party and started hanging them up on the hooks in front of them. "What do you think?"

Alice peered at them, moving down the line as she inspected each dress. "I like this one," she said, pointing to one with short sleeves and a flowy bottom. "And this one," indicating a similar one with three-quarter sleeves.

"We can try on both," Miranda offered. She went back to the racks and grabbed more of each dress for all three girls to try on. She passed them out, guessing their sizes.

The three girls went into the dressing rooms while Alice made herself comfortable on the couch. Lily pulled the first dress off of its hanger and felt the fabric. It was sheer, slipping through her fingers like water. She pulled off her sweater and jeans and slid the dress over her head. She adjusted the sleeves and looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. It was cinched at the waist and went out slightly at the hips. It flowed softly as she turned in the mirror.

She opened the door and stepped out. She was the first one out and Alice stood up to inspect her. "Do you like it?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's comfortable, you can move around in it if we need to-" Lily stopped herself, "uh, dance." Alice nodded, understanding her meaning.

"Do you like the sleeves?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you if you like it, Alice?" Lily asked, laughing.

"I don't want you guys to be uncomfortable. I like how it looks, so I would get it, but I want you to like it," she explained. Mary emerged from her room in the three-quarter sleeves one and Alice moved over to look at her next. "What about this one, do you like it?"

"When is the wedding, dear?" Miranda asked.

"June," Alice replied.

"You might want to go with the one with shorter sleeves, since it might be hot this June," she said, moving over to Marlene and fluffing out the bottom of the dress. "Even if it is indoors, moving between the church and the reception hall might be a warm ride." Alice, confused, looked over at Lily, the only one with an understanding of Muggle weddings. This did not go unnoticed by Miranda. "Do you know which church you're having it in?"

Lily spoke up. "It's actually in her fiancé's mother's house. They have a rather large estate." Lily didn't actually know the size of their house, but given that the Longbottoms were part of the sacred twenty-eight, it seemed to be a good guess. Alice nodded, appreciating Lily's interjection.

"Oh that's nice of her! Will she be paying for the wedding?" Miranda asked, still messing with Marlene's dress, much to her dismay. Alice nodded. "Excellent." She looked at the girls. "Do you want to try on some more? We have some gowns for summer weddings that are much lighter than these."

"Sure," Alice said. She returned to the racks and brought back several more. As Lily changed into each new dress, she could tell that Miranda went for more expensive gowns after hearing that Frank's mother would be paying for them.

Lily was grateful they didn't have to buy them, as she was sure she wouldn't have been able to afford it. After another couple of hours they all came to a decision to buy a lavender colored gown with cap sleeves and a hem that ended right above the ankles. They all preferred this to a floor sweeping dress, as it would make it easier to run. _How morbid_ , Lily thought.

Once they were finished, Miranda and the other saleslady wrapped up the dresses in bags. Alice thanked them for their help and they exited the shop, closing the glass door behind them.

Hestia was standing, waiting for them, her hands shoved in her pockets. "Finished?" Alice nodded. "Find what you were looking for?" She nodded again. "Good. Let's get out of this bloody cold."

They retraced their steps back to the alleyway, weaving through the crowded streets. Lily checked her watch; it was rush hour. Hestia looked disgusted at the crowds. "Was there any reason you chose to buy your dress from a Muggle shop?"

Lily shushed her immediately, earning a scathing look. "Sorry, just, just don't say those words so loud, you never know who might be listening." Hestia nodded gruffly.

Alice watched the exchange, then cleared her throat. "Lily is," she lowered her voice, "Muggleborn, and her mum showed us pictures of her wedding a while back. Since then I've preferred their style to ours."

Hestia looked back at Lily. "Muggleborn?" Lily nodded. "Interesting." They reached the alleyway. Alice, Marlene, and Lily moved quickly into the darkness, concealing themselves.

They all grabbed hands but stopped when they heard Mary cry out. They turned back and Hestia had her arm behind her back and her wand pointed at Mary's throat. Lily immediately drew her wand and the others did the same. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

Hestia laughed. "You all are rather stupid, aren't you?" Marlene tried to move forward, but Hestia pressed her wand deeper into Mary's neck, making her artery bulge against her skin. "You all just went off with someone you've never met before, just because I said so." She shook her head. "I didn't even need to use the Polyjuice Potion, I could have walked right up and said I was the Minister of Magic and you all would have believed me. Stupid, stupid girls."

"Who are you?" Alice asked, her wand pointed at Hestia's head.

"That doesn't really matter, does it?" She looked down at Mary. "What are you? Half-breed?" Mary nodded, trying to writhe free of her grasp. "And you two," she indicated Alice and Marlene, "You should be ashamed of yourselves, running around with this Mudblood." Both girls shouted protests at her, but she didn't stop. "She doesn't even try to deny it! She's proud to admit she's nothing but a filthy little Mudblood."

Lily stepped forward. "You wouldn't spill magical blood, right?" Hestia sneered at her. "Let them go, they aren't Mudbloods. You just want me, right?"

Mary's eyes went wide. "Lily, stop talking!"

Hestia laughed. "Your Snape's little friend, aren't you?"

"Severus? What about him?" Lily asked. She had moved between Hestia and the others.

"You _really_ out to be more careful when you're running around the castle. You never know who might hear you."

Lily suddenly understood. "Did Severus give you Polyjuice Potion?"

Hestia raised her eyebrows. "Maybe you're not as dumb as you look. He did tell me not to hurt you, though. I think that's because he's got a soft spot for you." Lily made a noise of disgust. "Oh, you don't feel the same way? Maybe he wouldn't be too upset if you did end up getting hurt somehow," she said mockingly.

Alice looked at Lily, then at Hestia. "How did you know we were going?"

"Like I said, you should try to keep your conversations private. Your friend Severus overheard your plans and figured it would be an easy target. I didn't think it would be this easy."

"So Severus has been brewing Polyjuice Potion and giving it to you? Are you a Death Eater?" Lily asked. She was trying to keep her distracted while moving closer to her.

She scoffed. "Are you going to take all day to work through this?" She was getting angrier and more restless by the second. Lily suddenly thought of a plan.

"Why do you want us? If you have Polyjuice Potion, why didn't you pose as a teacher or something and get to Dumbledore?" She racked her brain for more questions. She needed to kill time.

"I'm not an idiot. Do you really think Dumbledore wouldn't see right past me? But you all, you're just a bunch of silly little girls playing dress up. And how terrible would it be if the Head Girl and her friends were murdered, while picking out wedding dresses no less," she said, contouring her face into a fake pout before cackling.

"Why would you want to murder Alice and Marlene? They're Purebloods," Lily asked again. She had gotten closer and lowered her wand slightly. Her eyes flicked to a post clock across the street. _Keep her talking_ , she thought.

"They might as well be Mudbloods, since they spend time with you. They fought in Hogsmeade for you. They turned on their own kind to protect a school full of Mudbloods and Mudblood lovers. Your dirty blood is like a disease, infecting every Pureblood wizard out there, making them think you're worth fighting for. You have to _purge_ a disease, no matter who it infects. " She spat her words at them, looking at Lily with disgust.

Lily was about to keep talking, but it had been long enough. Hestia's facial features began to move, losing their pudgy-ness, her bones cracking and moving to resume their original position. Her eyes fluttered closed for a millisecond.

Lily took her moment of distraction without hesitation. "STUPEFY!" she shouted. The red beam hit the imposter directly in the face. Her changing expression went slack as her body collapsed. Her grip around Mary loosened and she ran forward, stumbling into Lily's arms. She caught Mary and helped her stand up.

Lily held her wand up again, pointing it at the Death Eater's lifeless form. She had gaunt features and heavily lidded eyes. Her previously chubby cheeks had sunken in, her ruddy complexion turned smooth. "Do you guys recognize her?" They shook their heads. "She must have been at Hogsmeade if she saw us fighting." Keeping her wand pointed at her head, Lily turned back slightly to look at her friends. "What should we do with her?"

"Leave her here?" Marlene offered. "I don't think anyone has seen us."

Lily bit the inside of her cheek and looked back at her. She nodded. "Here, help me." She grabbed her feet and Mary rushed forward to grab her head. "Set her against the wall here." She held her wand up again and turned it. "Obliviate," she whispered. A wispy strand of white light connected them for a moment before vanishing.

Lily stepped back and looked around, spotting a dumpster near them. She went over and began rustling through it.

"Lily, what are you doing?" Marlene asked, not looking away from the Death Eater.

Lily resurfaced, holding two glass bottles. "We can't afford for this to look suspicious." She stood over the Death Eater and took a deep breath before swinging one of the bottles and shattering it against her head.

"The fuck, Lily!" Alice exclaimed, stepping back.

Lily pulled down her sleeve and wiped it along the neck of the shattered bottle before setting it on the ground. She placed the other one near the Death Eater and stepped back. "If the Muggle police find her, they'll want a story. If they try to look her up or if she comes too, they'll find out she's a Witch. She's not wearing nice clothes. This way it looks like she just got in a drunken fight in an alley, and they'll probably look the other way." They all stared at her, bewildered. She shrugged. "I read a lot of Sherlock Holmes growing up."

"Who?" Marlene asked.

"He's like a detective," she said. That didn't seem to clarify things for them. "Listen, let's get out of here." She stuck her hand out and they all grabbed it. Lily spun on the spot and they landed on the snowy Hogsmeade pathway. Lily stopped for a second, panting. Though she had passed her test a couple of months ago, she still wasn't used to the sensation.

They hurriedly began walking back towards the castle. Marlene was watching Lily the whole time. "How did you know the Polyjuice Potion was going to wear off?"

"I didn't," Lily replied. They all looked at her skeptically. "Polyjuice Potion lasts for an hour. Even if she took the latest dose right before we came out, it still took us thirty minutes to get back to the alley. I figured if I kept her talking, it delayed her attacking Mary, and someone would see us. Once she started getting more antsy, I figured she was worried about the Polyjuice Potion. If I kept stalling, then she would have to change back at some point."

"Damn," Alice said. "No wonder Slughorn calls you the brightest witch of our time." She laughed. "I was just going to hit her with a Stunning Spell and hope I didn't hit Mary."

"Hey!" Mary protested. They had reached the entrance hall. "Do we go find Dumbledore?" Mary asked. Lily nodded and they started walking towards his office.

Marlene grabbed Lily's arm. "How did you know Snape gave her Polyjuice Potion?"

Lily bit her cheek and looked down at the floor. "I saw him brewing some."

"What?" Marlene asked sharply. "And you didn't tell anyone?" Lily opened her mouth to reply, but Marlene cut her off. "Why? Were you protecting him? You didn't want him to get in trouble?"

"Of course not! I just-"

"Do you still care about him? Do you think he can still change? Did you honestly think that he would be brewing Polyjuice Potion with _good_ intentions?" Marlene looked furious.

"No, I just didn't know-"

"Mary could have been killed!" She snapped.

"Marlene!" Alice shouted. "Calm down. Nobody was hurt."

"Yeah, no thanks to Lily," Marlene retorted.

"Excuse me, who got us out of that mess? Was it you, Marlene? Did you Stupefy her?" Lily asked sarcastically.

"You got us out of a mess you created! You should have told Dumbledore that he was brewing Polyjuice Potion!"

"Yeah well I told him he was a Death Eater and he didn't really seem to care, so I didn't think he would be too proactive in this either," Lily said bitterly. Marlene was about to respond, but Lily continued. "We all should have been more careful, we shouldn't have gone off with a complete stranger-"

"She wasn't supposed to be a complete stranger!" Marlene stepped towards Lily, looking down at her. "Snape called you a _Mudblood_ in front of the entire school. He almost killed that first year. He was probably behind the Hogsmeade attack. He has _nothing_ good left in him. Do you?"

Lily stared at her, shocked.

Alice stepped between them. "Marlene, that's not fair. This isn't anyone's fault. You're just upset, we all are. Let's just go talk to Dumbledore and-"

"You go talk to Dumbledore. I'm good." With that Marlene turned on her heel and swept up the main staircase. Lily watched her, tearing up.

She turned back to the other two. "I'm sorry, I didn't think this would happen, I'm so sorry, I thought that-"

Mary reached out and hugged her. "This isn't your fault, Lily. Even if you had told Dumbledore there was no way of knowing that Snape would have gotten rid of it, or if he had a separate stash. This could have happened regardless."

"We're just shaken up, I'm sure Marlene will apologize once she calms down a little bit. You know how angry she gets at James on the Quidditch pitch and they're friends again a few hours later. She just has a quick temper," Alice offered.

Lily nodded, unconvinced. She moved the dress bag from her left arm to right, then looked down at it and laughed. "At least we still have the dresses, right?"

Alice gave a half-smile. "Yeah. Come on, let's go talk to Dumbledore." Lily took her hand and they started towards his office.

"Hey, James," Lily said, stepping into the Head's dorm.

James looked up from his homework. "Hey, how was it?" He sat sat back against the couch and patted the spot next to him.

"Stressful," Lily said. James gave her a quizzical look. "We got attacked, and Marlene and I got in a fight."

James leaned forward. "What? Are you okay? What happened?"

Lily sighed and moved closer to him. "We were supposed to have one of the Aurors come with us and keep guard while Alice was finding dresses. Someone came, and we thought it was her. We Apparated with her and she kept watch, but then she threatened to hurt Mary as we were walking back. It turns out she was a Death Eater who used Polyjuice Potion."

James jaw tightened. "Snape."

Lily nodded. "Yeah."

"What happened then? Is Mary okay?" He asked, looking worried.

"Mary's fine, we're all fine. When the potion started to wear off she couldn't see so I Stupefied her before she could hurt any of us. I wiped her memory and we left her there." James pulled her closer to him. "We told Dumbledore and they searched Hogsmeade. The real Hestia Jones was tied up behind The Hog's Head."

"How did Snape know that you guys were going to London?" He asked sharply. "I'll kill him, I really will this time." He stood up and made his way to the portrait hole, but Lily stopped him.

"You can't kill him." He made a face indicating that he could and he would. She pressed against him, forcing him back to the couch. He sat begrudgingly, still fuming. "She said he was eavesdropping on us." Lily gasped. "I thought I saw someone lurking in front of us, but there was no one there." She groaned. "I was so stupid."

"It's not your fault, Lily."

"Tell that to Marlene," Lily said ruefully.

"What do you mean? Is she saying it's your fault?" He asked.

Lily nodded. "I told them we saw Snape brewing the Polyjuice Potion, and she said it was my fault we got attacked. It is, it is my fault, I should have destroyed it like you said to, I didn't think he would be using it for-"

"Lils, it's not your fault. You had no idea. And that probably wasn't his first batch. He could have plenty more stored somewhere, or he could have already given some away. You couldn't have stopped him," he said, trying to calm her.

"It is my fault. None of this would have happened if I had stayed friends with him. He never hurt my friends back when we were still friends."

"That's not fair-"

"If I had just sucked it up and stayed friends with him, I could have convinced him to not take the Dark Mark, I could have convinced him to not listen to Mulciber and Avery, I could have-"

James cut her off. "Lily. Look at me." She refused, and he grabbed her chin, pulling it up to bring her eyes level with his. "This isn't your fault. It is not your responsibility to keep him from joining up with Voldemort. If you were the only thing stopping him, then he had already made his choice. Besides, he always hated the rest of the Muggleborns, he just didn't hate you. If you hadn't become friends when you were little, then he would have hated you just like the rest. Do you understand?" Lily nodded. "You can't be friends with someone who hates people like you, even if they like you. You can't be an exception to his hate." He grabbed her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "This is not your fault."

"But Marlene-"

"Marlene will get over it. She knows it's not your fault." He smiled. "And if she doesn't I'll find a new Chaser."

"James! You can't do that!" She narrowed her eyes at him. "What about all that stuff about 'don't bring your personal problems on the pitch'?"

"I'm the Captain, I can do whatever I want," he said, grinning.

"You're a terrible Captain," she retorted.

"You take that back," he demanded. She shook her head and he rolled his eyes. He looked over at the bag laying in a heap on the coffee table.

She followed his gaze. "Do you want to see it?"

"Isn't that bad luck?" He asked.

"That's only if you're the ones getting married," she explained.

"Alright, sure," he said, releasing his hold on her. She stood up and took off her sweater. He looked up at her. "Whoa," he said, surprised.

"What?"

"You're just going to change right here, in front of me?" He asked, watching her as she slid her jeans off of her hips.

She laughed. "Well you've already seen my top half, and I figured it was only a matter of time before you saw the other half," she said suggestively.

"A matter of time?" She winked. He stared at her and gulped.

Only a matter of time.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been a week and a half, I'm so sorry for the late update. My beta has been super busy and I'm coming up on my next round of exams. I'll probably update Thursday of next week and then after that hopefully we'll go back to quicker updates! Also "only a matter of time" means soon, hint hint.

See you guys soon!


	37. Forget-Me-Nots and Roses

Lily woke up abruptly on January thirtieth. It was her birthday. She smiled and pulled on her school clothes before creeping out to peek into the common room. There wasn't anything unusual about it, so she rapidly descended the stairs.

"James?" Lily called.

"Yeah?" He answered from inside his room. He opened the door. "What's up?"

She looked at him expectantly for a moment before shaking her head. "Nothing, I was just seeing if you were ready to go get breakfast."

"Yeah, give me a minute," he said, disappearing back into his room. She frowned. Did he forget her birthday? No, of course not. He just woke up, he just needed a moment.

He came out and walked past her to the portrait hole. She followed behind, disappointed.

They entered the Great Hall and sat down, serving themselves breakfast. The rest of their friends joined them and Lily watched them, waiting for someone to say 'happy birthday'. They all were quietly eating, not noticing Lily's looks.

No one had said anything by the time they made their way to class, and Lily realized what was going on. _They must be planning a surprise party, and they're pretending like they all forgot_ , she thought. _Sneaky_. She played along, waiting for someone to slip up.

They went through the whole day of classes and no one said anything. She watched them, seeing if they were whispering anything, making secret plans. She sat through her classes, frustrated and disappointed. By the time classes ended for the day, she still hadn't caught on to anything. She gave them one last try as they came up the steps from Potions. She parted from the group and started to walk the other direction. "I think I'm going to go get started on this essay in the library, do you guys want to come?" She called to them.

James shook his head. "Sorry love, we've got Quidditch practice."

Remus nodded. "Sure, yeah I'll come with you." Lily watched James and Sirius head the other way. She smirked, knowing that Quidditch practice was just a cover up.

They found a table near the back of the library and Lily pulled out a spare roll of parchment, tearing off some to hand to Remus. "Thanks," he said, taking it from her. He pulled out his quill and began writing his name in the top corner. "Oh, it's January thirtieth." He looked up at her. "Sorry Lils, I didn't know what day it was. Happy birthday!"

She laughed. "Thanks, Remus."

"I have your present up in my dorm, we can go get it when we're done," he offered. She nodded, knowing that must be their way of getting her to come to Gryffindor tower for the party she wasn't supposed to know about.

She wrote part of her essay, and was reading over it when she was suddenly distracted by a beam of sunlight hitting her face. A cloud had shifted, causing light to pour into the dark library. She looked out the window and her face fell. The Gryffindor team was actually practicing.

Maybe they really did forget her birthday. She couldn't blame them; everything had been so hectic since getting back from Christmas holiday with their attack, and with N.E.W.T.s coming the professors were assigning more homework than ever. Marlene had given her a begrudging apology for blaming her for the run in with the Death Eater, and things were still chilly between them. Alice was busy with wedding planning. She sighed and frowned, returning to her essay.

They worked for another hour and Lily had finished a rough draft. She looked up at Remus. "I think I'm good, are you?"

"For now, yeah," he said, blowing on the ink to dry it before rolling the parchment up and sticking it in his bag. She nodded and packed her stuff away as well.

They made their way back to Gryffindor Tower and Lily stepped in behind Remus, still slightly disappointed when she wasn't greeted by her friends. Sirius was sitting on the couch and she leaned over the back while Remus ran upstairs to grab her present. "Hey," she said.

"Hey Lils, how's it going?" He asked.

"I'm good," she said. Remus came back down the stairs with her present in hand.

Sirius' eyes went wide. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I forgot. Happy Birthday!" He grinned at her and she smiled weakly back.

"That's okay, everyone has been busy and you know…" she trailed off and took the box from Remus. She started pulling on the corners and removing the wrapping paper.

"This is actually from both me and Sirius," Remus explained. Lily nodded and she pulled out a bag of Hogsmeade chocolate and some more ink from Scrivenshaft's. "I picked out the ink, he picked out the chocolate."

She hugged Remus and squeezed Sirius' shoulder over the couch. "Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. You didn't have to get me anything, I'm sure you had to sneak out to get this."

Sirius shrugged. "We were sneaking out regardless. I'm sorry we didn't throw you a party or anything."

She waved her hand nonchalantly. "Don't worry about it. It's a Monday and we all have homework to do. Maybe we can sneak out to Hogsmeade for a drink this weekend or something."

Sirius nodded. "You got it." Peter came down the steps from the boy's dorm with his own package. Lily hadn't seen too much of him recently, either.

"Hey Lily!" He crossed the room and handed her the present. "I got you a gift too! I didn't forget your birthday," he said. She laughed and unwrapped it. He had gotten her a book about potions.

She hugged him too. "Thanks, Pete, you guys are sweet. We'll have to celebrate this weekend." Peter nodded and sat down on the couch next to Sirius, who affectionately tousled his hair. She looked around for a moment. "Have you guys seen James?"

"He went to go shower after practice. He's probably in his room," Sirius replied. Peter started laughing and Sirius elbowed him, unnoticed by Lily.

"Thanks. I'll see you guys later." They waved and she stepped out into the corridor, headed for the Head's Dorm.

She frowned. Obviously she wasn't expecting anything big, but it made her sad that not even James remembered her birthday. She made it to her dorm and gave the password, stepping in. He wasn't in the common room. "James?"

"In here!" He shouted back from inside his room.

She sighed and went up his short staircase to his room and opened the door, stopping when she saw the scene inside. She couldn't help but gasp.

There were candles all over the room, lightly illuminating the rest of the scene in a warm light. There were red rose petals on the ground leading from the door to James' bed. James himself was lying on his side, a rose between his teeth, in a white button up shirt, tie, and black slacks.

She laughed at his pose and looked around the room. "James, what is this?"

He removed the rose and grinned. "Do you think that I, James Potter, infatuated with you since third year, would forget your birthday?" He stood up and held the rose out to her.

She took it. "I thought you did! I thought because of everything going on everyone forgot!"

He shook his head. "Of course not."

She smiled up at him, then tossed the rose on the floor and pulled him into a deep kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he lifted her up. She laughed. "I love it."

He carried her to the bed and sat down, Lily's legs still wrapped around his waist. "I love you."

She pulled on his tie to bring his face closer to hers. "I love you more."

He shook his head. "Impossible." He pressed his forehead against hers. "You are the love of my life, Lily." He spoke gently, his warm breath on her face. "I have to actively stop myself from thinking about you. You are the smartest, kindest, bravest, most beautiful person I know. You're my best friend. Any time something good happens, you're the first person I want to tell. Any time I need advice, you're the first person I go to."

He continued, his face still against hers. Lily was completely still, afraid to move and ruin the moment. "I thought that I had been in love with you since third year, but I was wrong. You are nothing like who I thought you were. You are so much better than I ever could have imagined, and I swear I fall in love with you each day I spend with you. You make me want to be a better person." He moved his head and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

Lily started tearing up. "James, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I never thought I could love anyone this much, especially not the bullying toerag James Potter," she laughed, "but I do. I love you so much I can't even express it in words. You are my everything. The only thing I regret is that I didn't tell you I loved you sooner." Her voice cracked as she kept talking. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I've never known anyone who is so selfless and cares so much about his friends and family. I love you so much." She sniffed and more tears came.

He ran his thumb across her face, sweeping away a stray tear. "Don't cry, love."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

"You're perfect, James. This is perfect." She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his softly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She moved her hand up and tangled it in his hair, then opened her mouth and slowly moved her tongue across his bottom lip.

They entangled themselves more, kissing each other passionately. Lily moved back, breaking their contact. "I love you," she said. She removed her legs from his waist and stood up. He reached out and grabbed her hips, watching her as he sat on the bed.

She brought her hands up and began undoing the buttons of her shirt. She pulled it off of her shoulders, exposing her white bra with a small bow in the front. James gripped her tighter and spread his knees to pull her closer. She reached around to unhook her bra and let it fall down her arms, dropping it on the floor.

James slid his hands upwards and cupped her breasts in his hands. She giggled and he smiled up at her. He ran his thumbs over her nipples, causing them to stand up. He pressed his forehead against her abdomen and kissed her lightly. He kissed along her center, moving his head downwards.

He brought his hands back down to her hips and ran his thumbs along the outline of her bones. He looked up at her and she nodded. He moved one hand around to her back and unzipped her skirt, pushing it down. Lily shivered slightly as the cool air hit her now exposed thighs. She nodded again, more vigorously this time as he watched her.

He kissed along her hips and slowly pulled down her underwear. She stepped out of them as they fell to the floor and James brought his hand down. He moved it between her thighs, parting them slightly and felt that she was already wet. He smiled to himself and moved his finger up to her clitoris.

She gasped and put one of her hands on his shoulder. She grabbed his hair with the other. He moved his head forward and kissed her hips again, still rubbing her clitoris. He rubbed his fingers against her and she gripped his shoulder tighter, her toes curling. She moaned quietly and he slipped one of his fingers into her. His hand rose again to cradle her breast while his other moved inside of her.

She reached down and pressed against his wrist, causing him to stop. He looked up at her, worried, but she shook her head. She reached forward and began undoing his shirt, pulling it off of his broad shoulders. His muscles stretched as he removed the fabric and Lily watched him.

He looked up at her again, and she dropped to her knees to begin undoing his belt. He helped her, and then raised his hips off of the bed to slide his trousers and boxers down. She reached out and took him in her hand, moving it up and down.

She watched his face relax and his eyes droop. She parted her lips and moved her head down, taking him into her mouth. He moaned, the noise low and deep.

"Lily," he whispered. She moved her mouth up, then down again, taking more of him with each stroke. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head up, forcing her to stop. She looked at him and he pulled on her hands, having her stand up. He grabbed her waist and in one fluid motion, turned them so she was against the bed and he was standing.

He pushed against her gently and she laid down on the bed, her head against his soft pillows. He climbed onto the bed and positioned himself above her, his knees surrounding her thighs. He leaned down and kissed her again.

He moved his hand and this time slipped two fingers into her slowly. She moaned and he began to move them in and out of her, causing her legs to feel warm and tingly. She closed her eyes. "James," she moaned. He moved further down the bed until his head was between her thighs. He kissed her inner thighs, moving further up slowly. She started breathing more heavily and he watched her chest rise and fall rapidly.

He flicked his tongue against her clitoris, causing her to gasp suddenly. He moved tantalizingly slow, swirling his tongue against her. He brought his hands up to her thighs and spread them wider, his thumbs pressing into her skin. He moved his tongue downward and slipped it into her. She moaned again and reached her hand down to grab his. He interlaced their fingers and brought his other hand up to continue rubbing her clitoris.

He kept his pace until Lily pulled on his hair and brought his face up. She saw his hazel eyes looking up at her, and she tugged his hand to bring his face level with hers. She brought her legs up and wrapped them around his waist.

He watched her for moment, staring into her big green eyes. He removed his fingers as she pressed her thighs against him. "Lily, do you-"

She interrupted him. "Yes. Absolutely yes." He smiled and kissed her again. "I love you. I don't want it to be anyone but you," she whispered against his mouth.

"I love you, too." He moved and she used her legs' grip around around him to bring him in closer. She reached down and guided him into her. She gasped sharply and James froze. She shut her eyes for a moment, adjusting, then opened them and nodded.

He moved slowly, pressing further into her, watching her face. She bit her lip, feeling slight pain, but enjoying it. She kept nodding and began to thrust into her, still slowly. She reached up and grabbed his shoulders, moving along with him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, quickening his pace a little more.

She nodded. "Yes, James, that feels good," she replied, wrapping her legs tighter around him.

"Yeah?"

"Yes, it's, it's-" he moved his hand down to rub her clitoris in time with his thrusts and her sentence was interrupted by a moan. He smiled and she started to rock her hips with his. He could feel her fingernails pressing into his shoulder, her other one sliding down his back. She used her leverage to urge him to move faster.

He gasped and followed her pace, speeding up his thrusts, still watching her. He could feel himself getting to the edge. He started moving his fingers against her more rapidly. She moaned suddenly cried out. "James!"

He thrust into her faster and she squeezed her eyes shut as she climaxed. Seeing her face forced him over and he orgasmed, continuing to move inside of her. "Oh, fuck, Lily," he said quietly as he finished. She gripped his hips with her legs and pressed him into her, prolonging both of their orgasms.

He stopped, panting heavily, sweat building up on his forehead. She removed her legs and he crawled to the spot next to her on the bed. She breathed heavily, a warm sensation spreading through her body.

They laid next to each other, not moving or talking for a few more minutes before Lily spoke up. "Was it-"

"What I said over Christmas, that was a lie. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me," he said, grinning and turning on his side to face her.

She laughed and he rested his head on her abdomen. She brought her hand up and began running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. He hummed against her chest and she smiled.

"Did you-"

"That was amazing, James." She giggled. "My legs are numb." He grinned, obviously proud of himself. She ran her fingers along his back. "I'm glad it was you. This was better than I ever could have imagined."

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

They laid in each others arms, quiet and serene for several more hours before falling asleep.


	38. Oh Deer, We're Siriusly in Trouble

"Prongs, I've found it," Sirius said, bursting into the room.

"Obviously not your manners," James retorted, sitting up in his bed. Lily was curled up next to him, wearing his old t-shirt. She had taken to sleeping in his bed as the weeks passed. Now that they were halfway through the term she hadn't slept in her own bed in months.

"What?" He looked at Lily's sleeping form and waved his hand, dismissing James' comment. Oh, whatever." He sat down on the bed and Lily groggily woke up.

"What's happening?" She asked sleepily.

"Nothing, Lils, you can go back to sleep," Sirius said. Lily looked at him skeptically. He dropped a newspaper in James' lap. "I've found it. The most perfect motorcycle." He pointed to the ad near the bottom of the page with a grainy picture of a motorcycle and a small paragraph describing it. "We're going to look at it tonight."

"We?" James asked, picking up the newspaper.

"You got any better plans?" He asked. James looked at Lily who shrugged.

"Guess not."

"Great, I'll pick you up at eight. Wear something sexy," Sirius instructed, taking the newspaper and leaving the room.

"I don't have to go if you wanted to, you know," James said suggestively.

"You can get action from your boyfriend tonight. I'll take you tomorrow night," Lily said, turning back over and trying to go back to sleep. She stopped halfway. "Though I guess our custody agreement says that he gets you on the weekends."

"Ha ha, very funny." He laid back down. "He actually asked if he could have Monday night and give you Sunday this week," he said quietly.

"I'm in a custody battle with my boyfriend and my boyfriend's boyfriend," Lily mumbled into her pillow. James laughed and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. She pushed him off and rolled to the other side of the bed. She got up and James whined. "I have to go get ready, we're going to finish that Transfiguration essay in the library today."

James shook his head. "I refuse."

"Who said I was inviting you?" She asked, laughing. She leaned over to kiss him before leaving the room.

She stepped out into the common room and unexpectedly saw Marlene sitting on the armrest of the couch. She looked up and smiled. "Tried your room first, but now I see why you weren't in there."

She nodded awkwardly. "I don't sleep in my bed much anymore." Marlene nodded and they looked at each. "Did you need to talk to me, or…" she trailed off.

"Yeah." She moved to couch and sat down, indicating Lily should sit down too. "I know I apologized, but I didn't really mean it. I was angry in the moment, and then I just didn't want to admit that I overreacted."

"You didn't really though, you were right Mary could have been killed-"

"But that wasn't your fault. We could have been attacked anywhere or anytime. Just because Snivellus helped them doesn't mean it wouldn't have happened some other time." She hung her head. "And if it wasn't for you we probably wouldn't have come out alive, or at least unhurt. Alice was right, there's no telling if he hadn't already given the potion away, or if you getting rid of it would have done anything."

Lily tried to speak but Marlene shook her head and kept going. "And I shouldn't have said all of those things about you still caring about him. I know he was your friend for a long time and that it would be hard to just stop being friends with someone. And I know you aren't looking out for him or helping him. That was just a cheap shot." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner. I've been miserable these past few weeks without you. I hate not talking to you every day. And I missed your birthday. I've been a shitty friend."

"I'm sorry too. I should have tried to talk to you about it before." She reached out and grabbed her hands. "I miss talking to my best friend."

"Me too."

"We have so much to catch up on," Lily said, scooting closer to her.

"I know, there's so much I've been wanting to tell you." She grinned. "I have a girlfriend now. In Ravenclaw. On the Quidditch team."

"Spill," Lily ordered.

"Alright, let's go," Sirius said, trotting down the steps from the boys' dorm. James and Lily were waiting on him in the common room. James nodded, handing his book to Lily and standing up.

"Where are you guys going?" Mary asked, looking up from her History of Magic homework.

"On a date," Marlene commented.

"I told James to wear something sexy, but obviously he ignored that request," Sirius complained, indicating James' old sweater and jeans.

"Doesn't matter what he's wearing when he's got a body like that," Lily said. James high-fived her over her book. Sirius rolled his eyes and the two climbed out of the portrait hole into the corridor.

James threw the cloak over them and they began their awkward shuffle to nearest hidden passageway. Sirius' long hair kept sticking to James' face and getting in his mouth. "How long is this going to take?" James asked. He looked behind him often, wary of anyone following them.

"Come on Prongs, where's your sense of adventure?" Sirius asked, grinning.

They made it to the statue of the one-eyed witch and prodded it, forcing it to reveal the tunnel. James and Sirius slid out from under the cloak, sprinting down the passageway into Hogsmeade and resurfacing on the other side. They spun quickly and apparated to London, near the seller's house. It was in an industrial part of town, grimy, tall apartment buildings towering over them as they passed by. They walked in the cold February air, hands shoved in their pockets, heads down against the wind.

"How are we sneaking this back to Hogwarts?" James asked.

"Rosie said she'd watch it for me until Easter holiday. After that I'll take it 'round your mum and dad's," Sirius answered. James laughed. Rosmerta, the barmaid at The Three Broomsticks, always had a soft spot for him. She must have been crushed when she realized he was dating Remus.

They walked for several more blocks, taking sharp turns through the dank back alleys. Their footsteps echoed on the cobblestone beneath them, occasionally crunching into patches of snow along the road. They came up on the seller's flat. James knocked on the door and they waited for a moment. No one answered. They looked around and saw a box with the names of the tenants next to yellow and worn buttons. Sirius tentatively reached out and pressed the buzzer. "Yeah?" came a gruff voice from the box, causing them both to jump.

"Here about the bike," Sirius said into the speaker, rather loudly.

"Alrigh', no need to shout, I'm comin', I'm comin'," the disembodied grunted into the speaker.

James and Sirius waited for a few moments, shuffling back and forth to keep warm. The sun had set hours ago and the air was becoming significantly cooler. A stout man appeared in the doorway. He had a gruff beard and greying hair. He unlocked the door, stepping out. "It's bloody freezin' out here." James nodded in agreement. "Tom," he said, thrusting his hand out.

Sirius took his hand. "Sirius."

"Wonky name," Tom commented gruffly. Sirius shrugged. "Follow me."

They walked a few paces down the street to where he had parked the motorcycle. It sat, its metal gleaming in the light of street lamp overhead. Sirius walked around it, looking at it, touching some parts, looking at it. James eyed it suspiciously. It was light blue, a large headlight pointing forward. Sirius looked up. "Can I try it out?" He asked.

The seller, standing with his arms crossed over his chest nodded. "Yeah. Giver her a go 'round the block." He tossed Sirius the keys and he started the engine. Sirius climbed on, checking things out for moment. James didn't think Sirius had ever ridden a motorcycle before. He turned the throttle and took off, rather jerkily. James watched as he whipped down the street, clumsily navigating his way through it. "He ever ridden one before?" Tom asked. James shrugged, guessing Sirius must have read how to turn it on and handle it in one of his magazines.

A few moments later Sirius came around the corner and pulled slowly into where it was parked before. "I'll take it!" He yelled. The man grunted, obviously not caring to where or to whom this motorcycle might go. Sirius didn't bother to haggle the price. He pulled out some Muggle money and the man helped him count it out, confused at Sirius' apparent lack of knowledge about it.

Once the man had his money he waved them off and the pair climbed onto the bike. "Don't fuck her up too bad. She's a good machine," he said, turning away.

"Thanks!" Sirius yelled back. He took off and James frantically grabbed at the sides, trying not to fall off. Sirius looked back at him for a moment. "How great is this?" James nodded weakly, his knuckles turning white. Sirius turned sharply and got on a major road. James had no idea where they were going.

"Where'd you get Muggle money?" James shouted over the roar of the bike.

"Your parents owled me some!" Sirius shouted back. "I didn't tell them what it was for, but I promised to pay them back!" James laughed; his parents never could resist Sirius asking for things. Sirius accelerated, going even faster than they were before.

"Sirius! Slow down!" James ordered. Sirius cackled wildly and accelerated even more.

It wasn't long before the sirens started. James looked back and saw a car with blinding flashing lights speeding after them. "Shit," Sirius said. He wove in and out of traffic, trying to avoid him.

"Sirius!"

"We can't get caught, Prongs! We don't have licenses, or I.D.s, they can't find us in their system, we'd be arrested!" Sirius shouted. He took a sudden turn, almost throwing James off in the process. The cop wasn't fazed. He whipped his own Coventry Triumph after them, the car expertly handling the sudden drift.

"Sirius, we gotta think of something!"

"I know, I know! Gimme a minute!" Sirius aggressively turned down skinny alleyways, attempting to skirt the overzealous officer. James pulled out his wand and struck a nearby garbage can, forcing it to roll into the pathway of the car. The cop swerved rapidly and just barely missed it, clipping it on his fender as he went by. James cursed.

They kept going, the cold air stinging James' face as he watched the car behind them.

"FUCK!" Sirius swerved, and James looked forward to see what happened. A man on a broom, a flying broom, had flown out in front of them.

 _Shit_. They must have seen James' curse. "Death Eaters?" James asked, shouting into Sirius ear.

"Must be!" Sirius said, gripping the handlebars as they slammed down the road. Two more cloaked men flew up on their brooms and flanked the police car, almost overtaking it. "Prongs! Do something!"

"What?"

"I don't know!"

James looked around. The first man had retreated, flying next to his companions behind the car. He suddenly had an idea. "Sirius stop!"

"Are you mad?"

"Trust me!" He yelled. Sirius slammed on his brakes. The cop heavily braked as well, trying not to crash into them.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" James shouted, lifting the police car above their heads. It hovered for a moment, then James jerked his wand, releasing towards the Death Eaters. Their pursuers crashed into it and James let the spell loose. The Death Eaters and the cop car crumpled to the ground, smacking into the cold pavement with a thud. "Go!"

"Nice one, James!" Sirius yelled, taking off once again. James laughed and held on tight as Sirius whipped down the road again. "We'll take the back way!"

James nodded, breathing heavily. "Why do you think there were Death Eaters just hanging out in London?"

"Don't know! Maybe they were planning an attack or something!" Sirius answered.

"Do you think they recognized us?"

"I do have an unforgettable face!" Sirius joked. James rolled his eyes.

They rode for what felt like ages. James kept his wand out, gripping it tightly, wary of anyone near them. They eventually made it back to Hogsmeade, though James had no idea how Sirius knew how to get back. They had been driving for hours. James' legs felt frozen to the seat. He was unsure how he'd make it back to the castle with how sore he was. They pulled up behind the Three Broomsticks and Rosemerta came out. "You're mad, Sirius Black. Absolutely mad," she said, shaking her head.

"Only mad for you, my love," he said, laughing.

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, you can pull it into the shed back here." Sirius obliged, pushing it against the snow on the ground into the tiny shed behind the bar. "What do you even need a motorcycle for?"

"Gonna make it fly, Rosie. It's so much more comfortable than a broom," he explained, giving it one last push and pulling out the kickstand so it didn't fall. She scoffed and headed back towards her bar, leaving the pair of them alone outside.

"Come on, let's get out of this bloody cold," Sirius suggested. James more than agreed. They lowered themselves into the tunnel and ran back up to the castle, their lungs burning as they sucked in the cold, morning air.

They made it back in the castle and James threw the cloak over them. They began their stunted walk back to Gryffindor tower. They moved slowly, as to keep their footsteps from echoing through the corridors like a drum. They reached the portrait hole and James pulled off the cloak. The Fat Lady was still asleep and Sirius coughed loudly, waking her up.

"It is awful early, gentlemen," she scolded. James looked at his watch. It was past five in the morning. They had been gone all night.

Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, whatever." He turned to face James. "Thanks, mate. Sorry I got us into trouble." He stuck out his hand and James took it, bending his arm to pull him into a hug.

"What's life without a little excitement, right?" He asked.

"Seriously, James. You're my best mate. Thank you for putting up with me," he said. James was about to respond but he was interrupted by the Fat Lady clearing her throat.

"Did you wake me up to witness your heart-to-heart, or did you need something?" She asked aggressively.

"Shut it, lady." He gave James one last clap on the shoulder before giving the password and stepping through the portrait hole.

"You best be getting to your dorm," the Fat Lady reminded. James made a face and threw his cloak back on before turning to continue his path.

He made it back to the Head's tower and stepped in. Lily was sitting on the couch, reading her Defense textbook. The fire was lit, heating the room and illuminating her face with dim light. She peered over the top over her book as he entered.

He came and sat down next to her, pulling her legs onto his lap and leaning back against the pillows. "Have you been waiting on me?"

"I went to bed a while back, but I woke up early when you didn't come back." She leaned over and kissed him lightly. "I'm glad you're okay, I was worried."

James smiled and pulled her closer. "You would not believe the night I've had."

"Sirius that good of a shag?" Lily asked, snickering.

"Lily, I'm saving myself for marriage!" James said in mock offense.

"What have we been doing? Just practicing?" She mocked sarcastically.

James gave her a smirk, and then recounted their entire night. Lily listened with rapt attention, her brows knit together.

"What was the speed limit?" She questioned.

"The what?"

Lily scoffed. "Nevermind. Sirius shouldn't be driving that motorcycle in Muggle areas. You two are going to get arrested, if you don't already get sent to Azkaban for what you did tonight."

"Nah, Sirius can talk himself out of anything, and I'm too pretty for prison." Lily gave him a look.

"Death Eaters, though. That's worrying. I wonder what they were doing," Lily said, looking up at James.

He ran his hand along the length of her leg. "I don't know."

Lily bit her cheek. "Guess we can't go anywhere without being on our guard."

"To be fair I think we'll be less conspicuous in the future," James said.

"You mean most of our excursions _don't_ include throwing a police car into three Death Eaters? I'm shocked."

"Cheek, Evans."

"Hubris, Potter."


	39. Oh Captain My Captain

James bounded down the steps with a spring in his step, but he stopped cold when he reached the bottom.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Lily was leaning against the back of one of the arm chairs, legs crossed. He looked her up and down. She was wearing his old Quidditch shirt which, on her small frame, made a dress that came down to her lower thigh. She was wearing black leggings underneath it.

She giggled at his face. "Do you like it?"

"Merlin, yes." He dropped his broom and walked towards her. He lifted her up easily, and she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her deeply, then began kissing her neck. "Fucking hell Lily, you are the most gorgeous girl in the world."

"Wait put me down, I want to show you something," she said, pulling away. He obliged begrudgingly. She turned around and pointed to her back, which had POTTER across her shoulders. She laughed, "That way everyone knows I'm yours."

James heart pounded against his chest. He couldn't believe that Lily Evans was saying that to him. He turned her around again and kissed her. "Do you think they would miss me if I skipped the match and stayed up here with you?"

Lily laughed, but nodded. "I'm afraid our team would be lost without you, Captain," she whispered 'captain' seductively in his ear, and James moaned.

"Lily," he whined.

"James," she whined back in the same tone. He gave her his trademark puppy dog eyes. "None of that, Potter. You have a game to win." She pulled him down into a kiss, snaking her hands into his hair and grinding her hips against his. She broke the kiss and stood on her toes to whisper into his ear. "Just make sure you win so we can celebrate."

With that she pulled away and walked out the portrait hole. James stared after her longingly. She really had to do that to him right now. He was going to win this game, and then he was going to spend hours of absolutely uninterrupted time with her.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts of her out of his head. She was right, he had a game to win. He picked up his broom and made his way down to pitch. He hugged his robes against his chest, shivering slightly. The late March air was still cool.

He lifted the flap of the tent and stepped into the Quidditch locker room for what would be the last time. No one else had come down to the pitch yet. He sat down on the bench and looked around, feeling bittersweet. He hadn't realized how much he was going to miss this place.

The year was passing by too fast. He hadn't gotten time to process that in a short time they would be graduated, thrown out into 'the real world'. He had no idea what was going to happen, and he hadn't taken a moment to think about it. Soon he'd have to figure out a living situation, maybe even a job. Would Lily want to move in together? Would Sirius, Remus, and Peter live with them, or would they live separately? He wasn't sure how much fun it would be to live with them still if he and Lily started living together. He had gotten used to it being just them.

He ran his finger along the wood, tracing the grain looping down the length of the board. He supposed he would have to talk to them all. He wondered what Sirius and Remus would do. Neither one had any money saved up, and he wasn't sure how much Remus could get from his parents. He knew his own parents would help them if he asked.

He stood up and walked around the room, taking in everything. He tried to memorize every detail of the room, knowing he would probably never get a chance to come back. After a while someone came in the tent and he looked over his shoulder to see who it was.

Marlene waved, holding her broom in her left hand. "Hey." He waved. She looked around. "Last time, huh?"

He nodded. "Feels weird, doesn't it?"

She laughed. "I'm sure you'll be back when your kid is a Quidditch star. They won't be able to keep you out."

He grinned and crossed the room to pick up his broom. "My kid better be the best player ever, or I'll disown them." He thought for a minute. "But they can't be better than me."

She scoffed. "Of course not. Can you imagine if they upstaged you? You'd be livid."

"I'm afraid they'll get Lily's flying skills," he lamented.

Marlene gave him a look. "So the kid's mother is Lily? She know about that?"

James stopped for a second, his grin gone. He had just said it instinctively, without thinking. He hadn't realized how much Lily had affected him. Whenever he envisioned his future she was always a part of it. He shrugged. "Guess we'll find out." He crossed the room and pulled Marlene into a hug. "I'm glad we've been teammates and friends for so long. I'm going to miss playing Quidditch with you."

Marlene wiggled out of his embrace. "Don't get all mushy on me, Potter." James pretended to look hurt. "Besides, we'll play in the future. We have to train the kids you're already planning." She smirked and walked past him to lug out the trunk of balls. "If you guys have enough you could stack the Gryffindor Quidditch team for years."

James made a face. "Let's just focus on getting through this match. Pretty sure kids are a long ways down the road." Marlene nodded and James moved forward to grab the other side of the trunk. They carried it out and saw the rest of their team coming down the pitch.

Not long after people started piling into the stadium. James watched the stands and saw Lily. She waved and held up a 'Go Gryffindor' banner with Mary. He nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

The Slytherin team made their way onto the pitch and James crossed the grass to shake the hand of the Slytherin captain, Damon Steele. He was shorter than James, but more muscular. He gripped his hand firmly before letting go. Madame Hooch nodded at them. They took off and the game begin.

James immediately caught the Quaffle and sped towards the goal, shooting it into the middle hoop barely after the Slytherin keeper had gotten in place. The Gryffindor stands erupted into cheers and he grinned as he flew back to the center. Marlene rolled her eyes at him.

Toby, their other chaser, swooped around James and nose dived towards the Slytherin chaser. He threw the Quaffle to his teammate, but Marlene came out of nowhere and intercepted the pass. Both James and Toby flew towards the goal and Marlene tossed it to James. He flew towards the leftmost hoop, then threw it under his broom to Toby, who was below him. He tossed it up to Marlene, who shot it before the keeper had time to realize what was happening.

"Nice!" James yelled over the wind. He could tell the Slytherins were already agitated. He flashed a smile and flew back to his side.

The game continued, and it seemed Gryffindor could do no wrong. Slytherin was unable to make a single goal, and Gryffindor was up by sixty points already.

James was hovering near the Slytherin goal, watching Marlene distract one of the Chasers on the other side. He heard a rush of wind and looked up to see a bludger coming right at him. He swerved and did a sloth roll, narrowly avoiding being hit in the head. He righted himself, and saw Mulciber sneering at him.

"THAT'S A FOUL!" Someone shouted. James looked around and saw Lily yelling towards McGonagall, leaning over the railing. He laughed and tried to wave to her. McGonagall apparently felt the same way and was shouting down to Madame Hooch. She nodded and tried to wave back to McGonagall, showing she got the message.

She called the players down and James dived towards the ground. "Penalty against Slytherin. Potter, you can take the shot," she said gruffly. Both Steele and Mulciber tried to argue but Madame Hooch shook her head sharply. "Don't make me give you another." Mulciber glared at her, but James flew back up.

Marlene came over and tossed him the Quaffle. He centered himself in front of the hoops and faced their Keeper. He stared him down for a second before hurling the Quaffle towards the center hoop. The Keeper flew forward to block it easily, but before he could could, James jerked forward and up to kick the Quaffle into the left goal. Everyone cheered and James flew back, raising his arms and laughing.

Sirius flew over. "You are so dramatic, Prongs!" He shouted.

"That's rich!" He yelled back. Sirius grinned and shook his head.

Another half hour passed, Gryffindor still dominating. Slytherin had made two goals, but Gryffindor was still over a hundred points up. James couldn't help but grin. What a game to go out on.

He heard a shout and looked up. He saw Marlene speeding towards him. He grabbed the Quaffle from her and ducked low. He rolled and threw it back up to Toby. He saw Hannah, their Seeker, zoom past him, the Slytherin Seeker hot on her tail.

James flew up and cut in front of the Slytherin Seeker, causing her to swerve to avoid a collision. She had to pull her broom back up to keep from hurtling towards the ground. James brought himself back up and watched as Hannah held onto her broom with one hand and lunged forward to grab the Snitch. She clutched in her hand as she tumbled forward. James sped towards her and grabbed her around the waist to keep her falling. Her broom flew out from under her right as James caught her. She dangled from his grip, the Snitch in hand, cheering. James laughed and slowly descended towards the ground until her dangling legs made contact with the sand below.

The stands exploded with cheers and chants. James picked up Hannah and lifted her onto his shoulders. She held the Snitch high and waved it back and forth. The rest of the Gryffindor team came down and dropped their brooms. They all ran towards James and Hannah, tackling them both to the ground.

They all laid in a heap, James groaning from the hard contact. Madame Hooch came over and called the game. Everyone else descended and stormed off of the field. Mulciber looked livid. The Gryffindor students were dancing and yelling, causing a roar to ring in James' ears. He laid his head back against the ground and smiled.

The students cleared out of the stands and the team started to make their way back to the tower where they knew a party would be waiting for them. They caught up with the other Gryffindors and received high fives and hugs.

James and the rest reached the tower and stepped in to see that Remus and Peter had already gotten everything set up for the party. The armchairs were moved to the edges, creating a large floor space. A few crates were stacked in the corner, filled to brim with bottles of firewhiskey and butterbeer. They had taken Lily's large banner and slung it across the back wall, much to the dismay of a few portraits. Someone was playing music, and a fire crackled loudly.

The Gryffindors cheered when James came in, and a few clapped him on the back or shouted their praise. James laughed through the whole thing, but looked out for Lily anywhere. He spotted her red hair and ran towards her, pulling her into an embrace from behind. She already had a drink in her hand and giggled when he buried his face in her hair. She turned around to face him and he kissed her. He pulled back. "I won," he stated.

"Yes, you did," Lily said back, looking up at him.

"Do I get a prize?" James asked cheekily.

She raised her eyebrows at him and laughed. "We'll see." He fake pouted and she shook her head at him. "Go get a drink," she said, pointing towards the makeshift bar. He nodded eagerly and spotted Remus.

"Hey, can an incredible Quidditch star get a firewhiskey?" He asked. Remus rolled his eyes and handed him a shot. Lily came up behind him and took it from him, throwing it back. Remus handed him another. He shot it back, exhaling sharply at the burn.

Sirius came running up and tackled Remus, pulling him into a bear hug. "Did you see me, Moony? Wasn't I amazing?"

Remus kissed him. "I think we need a bigger common room to fit both of your egos in here." Sirius laughed and tousled his hair. Peter came up and James handed him a drink. He pulled Peter into a hug, smothering him.

Peter wiggled, trying to get free. "Get off me!" Sirius jumped towards them and wrapped his arms tighter around Peter. He laughed, still trying to get free. "What's gotten into you guys?" He wheezed, still being crushed by the pair.

James let go. "I'm just going to miss you guys," he explained, picking up another drink.

"We'll still see each other after Hogwarts," Peter said. "It's not like this is the end."

James shrugged. "I know, I'm just sad to be leaving. We won't see each other every day, and who knows what everyone will be up to."

"We'll all be fighting the good fight with Dumbledore," Sirius said. "We'll be like, running missions and shit. We'll see each other all the time." James laughed and nodded. Lily reached over and wrapped her arms around his waist. She looked up at him and he smiled.

"I don't think we should be getting all mushy now, Prongs. We're in the middle of a party," Peter said. Lily nodded and let go. She grabbed Sirius' hand along with James' and led them out to the dance floor. Peter followed them after Lily jerked her head towards him. Someone was playing wizard music she didn't recognize, but they danced to it all the same.

Sirius twirled her around and she saw Marlene in the corner. Lily dashed forward and grabbed her, dragging her out to dance with them as well. Marlene laughed through her protests, but then joined them. Lily reached out and pulled her into a giant hug. "I'm proud of you!" Lily shouted over the music.

Marlene gave her a confused look. "Why?"

"'Cause you won! And you're pretty and you're smart and I love you!" Lily said, giggling.

Marlene shook her head. "I think you're getting drunk."

Lily smiled. "But I still love you!" A girl came up beside them who Lily had seen a couple of times around the library. She had short, natural hair, and big brown eyes. She leaned against Malerne, but only came to about her chest. The girl smiled awkwardly and looked at Lily.

"Lily, this is my girlfriend, Kristen!" Marlene said, wrapping her arm around her waist.

Lily squealed and reached forward to pull them both into a hug. "Yay!" She squeezed them both harder. "I'm so glad I get to meet you! Marlene has told me so much about you! You're top of class for Ravenclaw house, right?"

The girl laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, I've seen you around the library a few times, with Remus."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, it seems we're the only ones who have to really study around here. The rest of them just get it automatically." The girl nodded back at her and they stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Lily smiled and went back to dancing, ending the awkward silence. Marlene took Kristen's hand and they began to dance as well.

The party continued. Lily watched James leave the dance floor and go for another drink. She used his moment of distraction to slip out and run to the Head's dorm to grab her record player. Her footsteps echoed loudly in the corridor, but she was having too much fun to care. She burst into the dorm and saw her record player sitting on the table. She grabbed it and held it to her chest as she ran back through the hallway back to Gryffindor tower.

She came back, the player in tow, and snuck to the back of the room. She could see James standing near the couch, looking confused. He was probably wondering where she went.

Sirius came up behind her, stumbling slightly. He watched her pull a record out of its sleeve and set it on the platter. "You got it?" He asked. She nodded and laughed as he teetered towards the center of the room.

He clumsily climbed on top of a table and steadied himself before clearing his throat loudly. "Excuse me! Ladies and gents, misses and messrs of the noble house Gryffindor!"

"Get off the table!" Mary shouted.

"Fuck off!" He took another swig from his bottle. "I have a VERY important message, for the LOVE OF MY LIFE, REMUS LUPIN!"

Remus, watching fondly, snorted. "And what's that?"

"HIT IT, LILS!" Sirius yelled. James followed Sirius' outstretched finger to see Lily standing in the corner snickering. She turned on her record player and a familiar song started. Sirius started moving back and forth. "This is for you baby!" He yelled. The entire room stood silent, watching him.

The music sped up and Sirius started to sing as the words started to play."IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'M THE FIRST IN LINE, HONEY I'M STILL FREE, TAKE A CHANCE ON ME!"

Remus laughed. "We've been dating for a year and a half!"

"Shut up Remus!" Lily yelled. Remus kept laughing, shaking his head.

"IF YOU NEED ME, LET ME KNOW, GONNA BE AROUND!" He shook his butt to the increase in tempo. "IF YOU'VE GOT NO PLACE TO GO, IF YOU'RE FEELING DOWN, IF YOU'RE ALL ALONE, WHEN THE PRETTY BIRDS HAVE FLOWN, HONEY I'M STILL FREE!" He rocked his hips and a few Gryffindors wolf-whistled.

Peter jumped in, picking up the background singer's part quickly. "TAKE A CHANCE, TAKE A CHANCE, TAKE A CHANCE, TAKE A CHANCE!"

"TAKE A CHANCE ON ME, GONNA DO MY VERY BEST AND IT NO LIE, IF YOU PUT ME TO THE TEST, IF YOU LET ME TRY!" He knelt down, clutching his chest. "TAKE A CHANCE ON MEEEE, TAKE A CHANCE ON MEEE."

Remus shook his head and stood up, walking over to Sirius' platform. "Get down," he instructed.

Sirius kept rocking his hips back and forth. He pulled his long hair out of its bun and flipped it around. "You can't contain me, Moony! CAUSE YOU KNOW I'VE GOT SO MUCH I WANNA DO, WHEN I DREAM I'M ALONE WITH YOOOOUUU!"

"I want you to get down so I can kiss you!" Remus yelled over his boyfriend's obnoxious singing.

"Why didn't you just say so?" He jumped down and grabbed Remus. Remus dipped him and kissed him deeply. Everyone in the room cheered and took a drink. Sirius pulled away and grinned. "HE TOOK A CHANCE EVERYBODY!" Remus shook his head and pulled Sirius back up. They danced to the rest of the song, Sirius still belting out the lyrics. They grinded against each other, inspiring the rest of the Gryffindors to rush the dance floor and get moving to the ABBA music blasting through the common room.

Lily suddenly appeared at James' side, trying to look nonchalant. "Hey."

"Hey, love. I was wondering where you went," he said, pulling her into a hug.

She grinned. "Had to help a friend." She looked around them, then stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "Meet me in the corridor in two minutes." His mouth dropped open and he watched her climb through the portrait hole, his jersey barely covering her as she slipped through.

He looked at his watch and tapped his foot.

"Nice one, Potter!" Some random Gryffindor shouted. He held his drink up and nodded. He looked at his watch again. It had been fifteen seconds.

 _Fuck it_. He left his cup on the table and almost sprinted to the portrait hole, climbing through. Lily was standing, leaning against the railing of the landing. "I told you to wait two minutes," she scolded.

"I don't care." He closed the space between them and pressed himself against her. "You are never," he kissed her forehead, "allowed," he kissed her cheek, "to tease me like that again," he firmly pressed his lips against hers. He parted them with his tongue and slipped it inside. She tasted like the firewhiskey they had just done shots of.

She pulled away. "You don't get to decide that, Potter," she pointed out.

"You're heartless."

She pushed him off and ran down the hallway. "Okay here's a deal."

He slowly walked after her, watching her trot backwards. "What's that?"

She slowed down until he caught up with her. She held out her hand and pressed it against his chest, holding him back. "You can do whatever you want to me-"

"I like this."

"-if," she slowly lowered her hand, "you can catch me!" She took off down the hallway. James cursed and ran after her. He rounded a corner and she was gone.

"Lily?" He kept walking, looking for any sign of her. He was coming up on the head's dorm, so he started moving faster. She must have already gone in. He heard a giggle and whipped around. "Lils? Where are you, love?" He stood still, listening for her. He heard her giggle again and located the source. She was hiding behind a pillar. He jumped around it and came face to face with her. "Found you!"

"But you haven't caught me!" She ducked under his arm and tried to slip away.

"No you don't," he exclaimed. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. She squirmed against him. "Come on Evans, a deal's a deal."

"You shouldn't trust me."

"You're right." He lifted her up and slung her over his shoulder in one fluid motion.

"Not fair!"

"You weren't going to play by the rules," he explained. She huffed and tried to move against his grip, but he held her tight as they reached the portrait hole. He gave the password and carefully stepped in, balancing Lily's body on his shoulder.

She pushed against him again and he set her down. "A deal's a deal, right?" He asked. She nodded and James wasted no time. He immediately picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips.

He set her on the table and began to kiss her, but then pulled away. "Lily?"

She still had her eyes closed and she tried to pull him back. "Hmm?"

"Can we talk for a second?" He asked.

Her eyes opened. "I said you could do whatever you wanted to me, and you want to talk?" She asked teasingly.

James nodded. "I'll get to that part, trust me." He stepped back, lowering her legs. "What are we doing, after graduation, I mean."

"Is now the time?" She asked, laughing nervously. He gave her a look. "I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. I don't think we need to think about it right now, do we?"

He shook his head. "I don't know, I was just hanging out in the locker room with Marlene and I started thinking about the future and stuff. Like do you want to move in together, do you want to live with Marlene or somebody, stay at home?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I would like to live with you eventually, I think." She leaned back on her hands, the wood of the table pressing against her. "I've been talking to Slughorn and that potions master guy a lot. I think they're going to offer me a job right as I graduate. It's in London, so I don't think staying at home is an option, unless I apparated in every day."

"So we could get a flat in London somewhere?" James asked.

"I guess, but it's expensive and I-"

"Money is no problem, Lils. I can take care of us, at least until we figure out what we're doing," he offered.

"I don't want you to have to do that," she said.

"I don't _have_ to do anything. I _want_ to do this."

She bit the inside of her cheek and thought for a moment. "Well I think we should at least split rent and utilities."

"What?"

"Rent? Utilities?" She asked. He stared at her. She scoffed. "You really are a little pompous rich boy," she teased.

"Hey!" He protested. "What are utilities?"

"You have to pay for water and electricity and stuff," she explained.

"You have to pay for water?" He looked at her, incredulous. "Shouldn't water be like, free?"

She shrugged. "It's not. Anyways. We don't have to figure this out right now, we have time to deal with this later on."

He stepped forward and grabbed her hands. "But I want to be with you. I want to live with you. You can't just ditch me after nine months of living together," he said, jokingly.

She rolled her eyes. "We can still see each other. And we'll be looking for a flat or something, we just don't have to figure everything out right this second. We can take some time to go home, spend some time with our parents, find out what Dumbledore wants us to do, see if I get this job, whatever."

"Yeah, alright, that makes sense." He looked at her very seriously. "But Lily, I want you to know that this isn't some Hogwarts fling, or whatever. I fully intend on dating you for a long time, and I hope you don't have any objections to that."

She laughed. "I do not." She pulled him in closer. "Though I wish we could stop talking about this and you can focus on _dating_ me right now."

He stared at her, confused, then caught her meaning. His eyes widened. "Right. Right." He smiled and pulled her legs back up. "I'm an idiot. An absolute tosser. My gorgeous girlfriend is sitting right in front of me with nothing but my jersey on and I'm trying to talk to her."

"Better fix that."

"Yeah, I guess I better."


	40. Thinking About Tomorrow

Lily sat next to the lake, her feet outstretched. The tiny ripples tickled her toes as it moved back and forth from the shore. She looked around, watching the grounds. She spotted a few students sitting outside, enjoying the post-exam bliss, but for the most part the area was quiet.

She closed her eyes as a light breeze flew past her, moving her hair. "Hey, Lils!" Lily jumped and instinctively grabbed her wand, but it was just Peter sitting down next to her.

"Hey, Pete, you scared me," she said. "What's up?"

"Nothin', I just got done with my last exam, Divination. I thought I'd come out here and get a last look at everything before the feast tonight and graduation tomorrow," he said, looking out at the lake.

"I had the same idea," Lily said. She watched his face for a moment. "Are you going to miss Hogwarts?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm just kinda worried about what Prongs said a while back. We aren't going to be seeing each other every day. And Pads and Moony said they're moving in together, and you and James are moving in together. I'm just kinda worried I'll be left out."

Lily frowned and slid her arm around his waist. "Come on, you know that's not going to happen. You'll still be the Marauders. And we'll see each other in the Order, and you can come around for dinner and hang out with us all the time."

"I'm also kinda scared about the Order," he said quietly. "When we were talking to Dumbledore he made it seem so serious. Like life or death."

Lily looked down. "I hate to say it, but it is life or death." Peter's eyes widened. "But I'm sure he wouldn't put us in any situations that are too dangerous to handle. He just said we're going to be trying to track down potential Death Eaters and stuff. I doubt we'll have to do anything serious." She laughed. "It's not like we're going to have to fight Voldemort or anything."

Peter laughed nervously. "Yeah, I guess not. It just seems really daunting, or scary, or whatever."

Lily leaned her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, but come on, you're a Gryffindor! The hat wouldn't have put you with us if it didn't know how brave you are."

"Sirius doesn't think I'm brave," Peter argued.

"Sirius says a lot of things, it doesn't mean he always means them. He's impulsive sometimes. But at the end of the day you guys are still all best friends. They would do anything for you and you'd do anything for them," she said encouragingly.

Peter nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He stared at the lake, watching the ripples the breeze made. "I'm still going to miss this place, though."

"Me too."

"I don't want to leave," he lamented. "What if this was the best time of my life and it all goes downhill from here?"

"Hogwarts is great, but think of everything we'll get to do when we're living on our own. And we'll get jobs and be adults and it will be great. Trust me," she said cheerfully. Peter gave her a skeptical look and she laughed. She stood up, pulling on his hand. "Come on, we still have a couple of hours before the feast, and I should probably start packing."

Lily slid in next to James and leaned against him briefly before scooping mashed potatoes onto her plate. He smiled at her and passed the plate of rolls in her direction. "Where'd you go?"

"I went for one last walk around the grounds. I want to remember everything. Then I went upstairs and realized how much we need to pack," she explained. He nodded, about to say something when Sirius came rushing into the hall. He slid into his seat, knocking into Charles on his left.

"Sorry mate," he said quickly before turning rapidly to James. "Prongs, we got a problem."

James raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"We lost the map."

James slammed his fork down. "What? Where? What did you do with it?" He looked frantically at Peter who came trotting in after Sirius, out of breath.

Peter put his hands on his knees and wheezed "I'm sorry Prongs, Filch got it. We-"

James stood up, pushing away from the bench. "Filch has it? How did he get it?"

"We were trying to get things in place for the plan-" Peter gave Lily a side look, "and he caught us. I tried to say it was nothing but some spare parchment, but he took it anyways!"

"Did he figure out how it works?"

"He's practically a squib, Prongs, there's no way," Sirius commented.

"Well then let's go get it back," he said, starting towards the door.

Peter shook his head. "I tried, I went to his office but the locks aren't coming undone with our charms. I even tried to squeeze under the door as a," he lowered his voice, "rat. But I couldn't get through."

James sighed and sat down. "I mean, I guess we don't need it anymore." He looked forlornly at his peas and pushed them around the plate. "I just wish someone would be using it. It's not fair to her to sit in Filch's office, not helping anyone prank him." He frowned. "And I wanted to give it to my kid."

Peter sat down too. "I'm sorry. But maybe you can tell him about it and he can nick it from his office!" He offered. "I'm sure he'll get it somehow. If he's anything like you, Prongs, he'll find a way."

James looked up and smiled at him. "Yeah, I guess. Did you at least get everything in place?" He nodded eagerly and James high-fived him over the table.

Lily looked at James, then Peter, then Sirius, and finally Remus, who had remained silent through the whole affair. "What do you have planned?" She asked suspiciously.

Sirius swiped a roll from her plate and grinned. "No need to worry your pretty little head, love."

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't mess up the graduation ceremony, okay? It means a lot to people."

Remus shook his head. "We wouldn't dream of it." Lily looked at him skeptically and he shrugged. She laughed, then turned back to her food. She struck up a conversation with the other Gryffindor girls, talking about how excited they were to graduate.

"It was my fault, not Wormy's," Sirius said through bites of chicken. "I was yelling down the hall at Peeves and flashing it for the whole world to see."

"It's fine. I'm sure someone will find it one day and get good use out of it," James said. "Our main focus is tomorrow." The other three nodded and they joined the conversations around them.

The plates cleared and Dumbledore took his podium. "My dear students. It seems we have come to the end of yet another year. Mister Filch has updated me with a few more point deductions as of tonight, so we are ready to announce the winners of this year's House Cup."

Everyone looked at Sirius and Peter when Dumbledore mentioned the point deductions. Sirius grinned, but Peter blushed profusely and ducked his head. Dumbledore continued. "In first place we have Gryffindor, with 493 points." The Gryffindor table erupted into applause and cheers. Sirius pumped his fist in the air and hugged Peter, jostling him. Once they all quieted down, Dumbledore spoke up again. "In second place, Ravenclaw with 485 points." The Ravenclaw table followed Gryffindor's noise with raucous applause of their own. "Slytherin, in third place, with 450 points." Lily looked over to the Slytherin table where most students were cheering. Snape was moping near the end of the table, pushing his fork around his plate, refusing to join in. Dumbledore finished. "And Hufflepuff as a close fourth with 448 points!" The Hufflepuffs still cheered all the same. "An incredibly close year! You all should be quite proud of yourselves."

"To those that will be returning to us next year, we hope you all enjoy your summer holiday, and look forward to seeing you back in September for another year. To those not returning, the graduation ceremony will be tomorrow morning, and we will all be sad to see you go. We know that you will all do great things." He beamed at the hundreds of students looking up at him. "Off to bed now," he instructed. Lily watched everyone get up and begin to leave the hall. James stood up and looked at her.

"Coming?"

She nodded. "I'm sad, this is our last end-of-term feast," she said quietly. James slung his arm around her and leaned his head on top of hers.

"We can have end-of year feasts in our flat," he offered.

She laughed. "I don't think it'll be the same." James shrugged and they headed up towards the tower.

They parted from the rest at Gryffindor tower and made their way towards their own. Lily hadn't started packing, and she knew their stuff was strewn all about the Head's dorm. They stepped in and both of them immediately started looking around the room, grabbing books and stray quills. Lily turned back to face James and they were both clutching piles to their chest, trying not to drop anything. James grinned at her. "Meet you back here?" She nodded and they split off to their own rooms.

She pushed her door open with her toe and stepped in. The state of her room made her laugh. It was absolutely pristine. She hadn't been spending any time in here. She would have to search for her stuff in James' room. She crossed the room and pulled her trunk out from under the bed. She started putting in the books and other things she found downstairs into it as neatly as she could.

She left and walked over to James room, knocking on the door. He opened it and let her in. She grinned at the difference. James' room was an absolute mess, both of their clothes, shoes, books, and other items were covering every surface possible.

He ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I think we have some work to do." She nodded and began on the left side of the room, picking up anything she recognized as hers.

They worked for another hour or so until it was pitch black outside and they could see the floor once again. Lily sat on top of her trunk, pushing everything in so she could latch it. It clicked and she levitated it downstairs to wait until tomorrow morning.

She sat down at the armchair next to the fire and stared into the flames for a moment. She really was leaving Hogwarts. The place had been her home for seven years. James leaned his head out of his dorm. "Lils, you coming to bed?" She sighed and stood up. She slowly walked up the stairs and crawled into the four poster bed for the last time.

"Come on guys!" Alice yelled. Lily ran over to her and threw her arms around her, causing her to stumble. Marlene and Mary ran over too. Alice wrapped her free arm around Marlene and Marlene grabbed Mary. They pressed their faces together and Alice held her arm out, snapping a photo. The photo slid out from the bottom of the camera, showing them laughing and hugging each other. Alice grabbed it and looked at it. "I'm going to miss you guys," she said sadly.

"Alice, what are you talking about? We're literally going to be in your wedding next month!" Mary said, taking the picture and looking at it herself.

"I know, I just mean living together and seeing each other every day," she explained. "Though I'm not going to miss Mary hogging the shower."

"Hey!" Mary protested. They all laughed and pulled each other into another hug. Sirius ran over and wrapped his arms over all of them, squeezing.

"Sirius, get off!" Lily said, swatting him.

"I wanted to be a part of the love fest!" He complained. Lily laughed and turned to hug him around the waist.

She looked up at him and gave him a suspicious look. "So when should we expect this prank?"

He ran his hand across her cheek. "Aw love, you know I can't tell you that." She rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

"Why don't you go give your boyfriend some love?" She asked sarcastically. Sirius took her advice and ran towards Remus, almost tackling him. Lily laughed and turned back to her friends. James came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and set his chin on her shoulder. "Hey," she said.

"Hey."

"Ready?" She asked. He nodded. She grabbed his hand and they made their way to their seats, out on the grounds. Chairs had been arranged in rows in front of the stage. Lily looked around at the other students, clad in their robes and pointy hats, all taking their seats. They slid into a row and settled in. There were floating candles above them, illuminating the dusky sky.

Dumbledore was standing on a platform, the professors behind him. He was dressed in fine robes, light blue and floor length. He too had donned a pointy hat, matching the student body. The professor behind him had also dressed up for the occasion, some sporting dress robes. They all beamed down at the students, nodding to those from their house.

Once everyone had settled in Dumbledore cleared his throat and spoke. "Well. You all have finished a wonderful seven years at this school. We have seen you all grow as people and as students. From the wide-eyed eleven year olds who came to us ready to learn to the talented, driven, hardworking young adults you have all become, it has been a joy to watch you come into your own."

James could see McGonagall tearing up behind Dumbledore. He gave her a thumbs up and she pursued her lips and shook her head at him, though he could tell she was fighting to keep the corners of lips from turning up. Dumbledore continued. "Though your formal education has ended, we hope that you all continue to learn and improve your magical ability for the rest of your lives."

"Now, for a bit of advice from an old man." He smiled at them all. "Strive to do as much good as you possibly can; this world can always use more kindness. Never stop trying to improve. Be adventurous while you still can. And lastly, remember: help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." He raised his hands to signal that he was done, but was interrupted.

A dozen fireworks exploded behind him, causing him to jump slightly. He turned around and watched them for a moment before smiling and turning back to the students. "It seems as if your fellow peers have something more important to say." He went back to his seat as more fireworks lit up the sky.

They exploded into bright colors and shapes. Lions, eagles, snakes, and wolverines all decorated the sky, leaving glittering trails under them as they dissipated beneath them. Lily laughed and looked at James, who was grinning. She shook her head and leaned into him.

The display continued for a few more moments. It went silent and the students burst into applause, but were interrupted by one more set. Four shining beams shot into the air and exploded, forming the shapes of a stag, a rat, a dog, and a wolf. All of the students cheered and stood up in their seats.

"Could you be anymore obvious?" Lily asked.

James shrugged. "It's not like we put that we were illegal Animagi. Maybe everyone just thinks we like animals a lot."

She scoffed. "Yeah, okay."

Dumbledore stood up once again. "I think we all know who to thank for that wondrous performance!" He exclaimed, looking to where the Marauders were seated, a glint in his eye. James flashed him a smile and waved. "Excellent." He chuckled. "Well now we must say goodbye. He gestured to his left, where small boats had appeared on the shore of the lake. "The boats will take you back to the train, as they brought you to Hogwarts all those years ago."

Lily turned her head towards the lake and saw the small boats gliding smoothly along the glittering lake. The sun had almost fully set, causing the lake's surface to reflect the candlelight above them. Lily started to tear up. James slung his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, love." She nodded and smiled, the tears still forming. They all moved towards the lake where Hagrid stood, waving.

"Lily! James!" They walked towards him and he pulled them into a large hug, lifting them off their feet slightly. He leaned down and whispered. "You'll be ridin' in my boat. Don't tell anyone I'm giving you special treatment, alrigh'?" James grinned and nodded up at him. Hagrid winked and stood backup to his full height. "Alrigh' come one, four to a boat, lemme know if you need help pushing off!" He assisted some people and helped them into the little wooden boats.

Lily and James stepped into the boat behind Hagrid and sat down, waiting for him. Hagrid came lumbering back towards them, clambering into the boat. He placed his large hand on the ground and pushed them off easily.

They lurched forward onto the smooth surface of the Black floated lazily towards the train, which James could see in the distance. Lily looked up and saw Hagrid tearing up. "I'm gonna miss you both." He looked around and lowered his voice. "Though I'll be helpin', you know with the Order and stuff."

"So we'll still get to see you?" James asked.

Hagrid nodded. "But keep it hush, you know, Dumbledore wants my involvement to be all secret. Somethin' 'bout giants or somethin'" He frowned. "I probably shouldn't've said that."

They both laughed and Hagrid beamed at them. "Don't worry Hagrid, we won't tell anyone," Lily said. They went in silence the rest of the way, the large, red train coming into view. James' breath caught in his throat as he finally realized that he wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts. He turned back to face the castle for the last time.

Lily grabbed his arm and he turned to face her. He let out his breath and looked into her big eyes. Hogwarts was now in the past, and he was staring at his future.

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry it's been a hot second second I updated, midterms hit hard. I'll be done with finals soon and hopefully update much more frequently!


	41. Magical and Non-magical Love

"MUM!" Lily yelled across the hallway. "Have you seen my shoes?"

Her mother came in the room, attempting to put an earring through her earlobe. "Yes, I think they're downstairs." Lily nodded and crossed the room to help her. Her mother smiled and cupped Lily's cheeks. "You look beautiful, darling."

"You do too, mum. I'm glad you're coming too."

"I hope I don't embarrass myself too much in front of the wizards."

Lily shook her head. "You'll be fine. You might get some weird looks, but there aren't going to be blood-purists at this I'm pretty sure. And I'll protect you," she said, laughing.

"I hope I don't need protecting," Rose said, stricken. Lily shrugged and moved past her to grab her shoes from downstairs. She looked at her watch; James was supposed to be here any minute.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a large CRACK. She grabbed her wand and stood, face to face with James. She exhaled heavily. "Jesus James, you scared me."

He pulled her into a hug. "Sorry. I figured you didn't want me apparating into the street and startling the whole neighborhood." Lily shook her head. She looked him up and down. He was wearing his dress robes, his bowtie tied perfectly.

"Did your mum tie that for you?" She said, indicating the tie.

He ran his hand through his hair sheepishly. "Yeah, I can't get the hang of it." Rose came down the stairs, holding her shoe like a weapon.

She sighed. "Oh, James, it's just you."

"Were you going to clobber me with a shoe, Rose?" He asked jokingly. He ascended a couple of steps to kiss her on the cheek. "You look lovely by the way."

"This has a decent heel, I feel like I could do some damage," she said. She laughed. "It's good to see you, dear."

Lily frowned. "Not that I want to keep you out, James. But maybe I should put some protective enchantments on this house. I could ask Dumbledore what's on Hogwarts to keep people from apparating in and out." James nodded. She saw her mother's face. "Not that you're in danger. Just, can't be too careful these days, you know?"

James looked at Lily, then at Rose, then back at Lily, tension palpable in the air. He cleared his throat. "Well on that note." Lily looked back at him expectantly. "We'll do this just like Christmas. Lily will go first, then you, Rose, then me." Rose nodded and came down the rest of the staircase to face the fireplace. She looked slightly pale already.

Lily grabbed some floo powder from the bag James brought and stepped in. She threw it down. "Longbottom Estate!" Her body disappeared into a mass of green flame, leaving nothing behind.

Rose shifted uncomfortably. "I don't like that."

James squeezed her shoulder. "It's safer than riding in a car."

Rose scowled at him and stepped awkwardly into the fireplace, crouching. James held the bag out to her and she grabbed some apprehensively. She tossed it down and shakily said, "Longbottom Estate."

James watched as she disappeared, then quickly jumped in after her and followed.

Lily caught her mother as she stumbled out of the fireplace. "Are you alright?" She asked.

"I do not like that."

"I know, I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. James came moments after her, gracefully stepping out of the fireplace into the large living room. Lily looked around. The Longbottom Estate was similar to the Potters'. Impossibly high ceilings, marble floors, a house elf or two scurrying from room to room.

Mary came out into the room from a door off to the left. "Oh, Lily, I thought I heard someone. Thank god you're here. Mrs. Longbottom has been micromanaging everything and Alice is freaking out." Lily looked back at James and her mother, who nodded. She followed Mary into the room that had become the bridal suite.

Alice was sitting at a vanity, Marlene was laying on a chase, drinking champagne. Alice saw them in the mirror and turned around rapidly. "Lily, I'm freaking out."

"So I heard." She crossed the room to hug her. "What's wrong?"

Alice held onto her arms. "Frank's mum is insane. This wedding is turning into a circus," she lamented.

"That's okay, Alice," Lily said, pulling a chair up. "She's being all crazy out there, but you don't have to worry about anything, okay?" Alice nodded frantically. Lily reached out and grabbed her hands. "All that matters is that you love Frank. And you're getting married. You guys are going to be married! You want that, right?" She nodded again. Lily nodded back. "Then who cares about what happens with the wedding or the guests or Frank's mum? All that matters is that in a couple of hours you are going to be Alice Longbottom. Now breathe."

Alice took a deep breath and turned back to face the mirror. "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. She was just freaking me out, it's fine."

Mary came over and stroked her hair. "Are you good now?" Alice nodded. "Okay, can I finish your makeup? You've got a cyclops thing going on here." Lily gave her a confused look, but then realized that she had only gotten to one eye with her eyeliner. She started laughing, and the rest of the girls joined in.

Marlene came over, still holding her glass. "You want some champagne?" Alice gave her a look and Marlene held her hand up in defense. "Alright, nevermind."

James and Rose had wandered out onto the grounds where house elves were setting up chairs and several other wizards were starting to gather. He spotted Sirius and flagged him over. "Rose, you remember Sirius, right?"

She nodded. "It's good to see you again."

Sirius reached for her hand and kissed it. "The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Evans." She giggled and James smacked him. Remus spotted them, and pulled Peter along with him.

James pulled Remus into a hug, then Peter. "Rose, this is Remus and Peter, our other friends."

"Lily has mentioned you both, it is nice to finally meet you," she said cheerfully. They smiled at her and shook her hand. She looked around at everyone. "I don't think I fit in here," she said, indicating the lavish wizards robes some people were wearing.

Peter shook his head. "Don't worry, not everybody wears those. Those are the just the Longbottom's relatives; they're all pureblood and stuffy."

Rose nodded apprehensively. "So, what are all of your plans now that you've graduated?" She asked.

Sirius spoke up first, "Remus and I found a flat near Diagon Alley that we're going to move into when our lease starts in August. We're going to try to get jobs around there, help out Dumbledore, nothing too serious." Rose nodded, looking at Peter next.

He looked down at his hands. "I'm not super sure right now. Might live with my mum for a while, try to get a job or something."

Rose patted his shoulder. "You don't have to have everything figured out, trust me. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life when I graduated." He smiled awkwardly and nodded.

A few people came over to talk to them, all giving Rose peculiar looks. No one tried to talk to her, most were just confused as to whom she was related to. After James had had his cheeks squeezed by what seemed like every witch over fifty in the entirety of England, ushers began herding them to their seats.

They slid into white wooden chairs, facing a white metal altar decorated with all sorts of flowers and vines. James watched as everyone filed to their seats, occasionally nodding at people he knew. He spotted his parents and waved them over.

Euphemia sat down on the other side of Rose and pulled her into a hug. "I just saw Lily and the other girls. She looks absolutely beautiful, Rose." Rose beamed. "You look stunning as well. I've always loved Muggle clothing."

Rose laughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I didn't know about wizards robes or anything, I would have made Lily take me to get some."

Euphemia made a face and waved nonchalantly. "Don't worry about it, all of the girls are wearing Muggle dresses. It's becoming more common for the kids to wear Muggle clothing outside of school." Rose nodded, about to reply, but was interrupted by a band starting to play music.

James turned around to look and saw Frank leading the line of his groomsmen towards the altar. He was smiling so wide his eyes crinkled and James could see his dimples. Behind him was some of the boys from Frank's year at Hogwarts as well as some relatives that his mother no doubt made him include. Frank winked at James and he gave a thumbs up back.

Next came the bridesmaids, Marlene in the front, followed by Mary, then by one of Frank's cousins, then finally, Lily. James stared at her, his breath catching in his throat. The sunlight was behind her, giving her a golden halo around her fiery red hair. Her lavender dress hugged her body and flowed around her ankles. She held a small bouquet in front of her and James could see her fiddling with the ribbon around the stems. He smiled slightly.

When she passed she looked to the side and smiled at him. He smiled back at her. They lined up on the other side of the altar, all facing towards the house. Everyone stood up as Alice emerged. Her white dress shone in the sunlight and her smile covered her entire face. She was staring at Frank as she walked closer and never waivered. James figured she didn't even register the other guests.

She reached the altar and everyone sat. An older wizard that James did not recognize stepped up and faced the couple. "Join hands," he said quietly. Frank reached out and picked up Alice's small hands into his. The wizard cleared his throat and spoke up. "Welcome everyone, we are here to celebrate Frank and Alice and their commitment to each other. Frank, would you like to begin?"

Frank nodded. "Alice, I've known you since you were born. We've been friends since as long as I can remember. I feel like I know everything there is to know about you and yet I learn something new every day. I have loved every minute I have ever spent with you, whether it be cleaning out flobberworm cages in detention, or our first date, or just spending time with each other. Your passion and your selflessness makes me want to be a better person. I love you, and I have been counting down the days until this moment. This is the happiest day of my life. I promise to love you for the rest of my life, no matter what happens. I will love you through every good day, every bad day, until my last day."

Alice, already starting to tear up, looked at Frank for a moment before speaking up. "Frank, I remember when we were just kids before Hogwarts and I thought of you as one of my best friends. Throughout our time together I have seen you grow into a wonderful man that I know I want to spend my life with. I can't imagine being with anyone but you. Your courage inspires me to be braver, your sweetness inspires me to be kinder, and your love inspires me to do anything we set our minds to. I love you with all of my heart, and one day we'll be old and crazy, and even though I might not know my own name, I will always know how much I love you."

Frank wiped his eye quickly and they both pressed their foreheads together quietly for a moment. Marlene pulled out the ribbon she had been holding and passed it to the old wizard. He set his hands on top of the couple's and spoke out. "Now that these two have proclaimed their love for each other in front of their family and friends, I now will join them in the everlasting bond of matrimony." He took the ribbon and wrapped it delicately around Frank and Alice's right hands, joining them. He tied the ribbon into a bow and the excess draped over their intertwined fingers. "Now, kiss and become one."

Frank leaned forward and pulled Alice into a kiss. Everyone applauded loudly, and James looked to Lily. He saw that she was already staring at him. She smiled at him and mouthed, "I love you." He mouthed it back and they continued to look at each other as Alice and Frank made their way back down the aisle. The bridesmaids paired up with a groomsmen and made their way back to the house as well.

The rest of the guests began to stand up and gather their things to make their way towards the feast set up inside the estate. The Longbottom house was even larger than James' and they had a great hall that could fit everyone at the wedding comfortably.

As everyone shuffled inside James looked out over the crowd for the familiar red hair. It took him several moments, but he finally spotted her off to the side in a corner, calmly watching everyone pass by her. He cut his way through the crowd and when reached her he pulled her into a deep kiss. When they parted he whispered into her ear, "I love you."

She smiled up at him and ruffled his hair. "The wedding got you in the mood?" She teased.

He scowled at her and grabbed her hand, leading her further away from the crowd. "You're telling me you listened to those sappy, romantic speeches and you felt nothing? You heartless wretch," he teased right back.

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. "I love you too." He squeezed her tightly, breathing in the scent of her hairspray and perfume. She looked up at him. "Come on, they're probably wondering where we are."

He leaned forward and buried his face in her neck. "Five more minutes," he mumbled against her skin. She laughed and kissed him lightly before turning away and leading him back into the crowd.

They sat up at the bridal table, Lily next to Alice, James next Marlene. House elves brought out platters of food, reminding Lily of a proper Hogwarts feast. They all ate, chatting. Alice was talking with Frank, so Lily turned to face James and Marlene. "You know, Marlene, at Muggle weddings it's custom for single people to find someone to hook up with," she said, laughing. Marlene made a face at her.

James looked at them both. "You're single now? What happened?"

Marlene shrugged. "It was just a Hogwarts thing, it wouldn't have lasted."

"Yeah, Marlene is a real heartbreaker now," Lily joked.

"I'm keeping my options open, playing the pitch, that sort of thing," Marlene said, taking another gulp of champagne.

James looked at her. "Isn't that like your sixth glass of champagne?"

"Yeah, you want to grab me a seventh?" She asked. James shook his head, incredulous. Lily laughed and leaned on to James' shoulder. He draped his arm over her shoulder and squeezed her arm.

Soon the plates were cleared and everyone was moving around, speaking to people at other tables, grabbing drinks, mingling. Lily spotted her mother talking animatedly with Euphemia, Fleamont, and Sirius. She smiled and waved and Lily nodded at her.

The band began to play and Alice and Frank made their way towards the middle of the room where most of the tables had been cleared out. They danced to a slow song, Alice leaning her head on his chest, swaying slowly.

Once the song was over everyone applauded and some joined them out on the floor. James stood up and held out his hand. Lily looked up at him and saw his hazel eyes glittering behind his glasses in the low light of the candles. She smiled and stood up with him.

They navigated their way around the tables and made it to the dance floor right as Alice and Frank passed by. Alice beamed at Lily, looking the happiest that Lily had ever seen her. James pulled her hand and brought her close to him. He placed his hand on the small of her back and began leading her in rhythm to the music.

Lily tried her best to keep up with James' fluid motions, though she tripped over both of their feet a couple of times, causing James to chuckle when she did. He seemed to move so effortlessly, not even paying attention to his body. He was watching the other guests on the dance floor, then he looked down on Lily. "I'm really excited to spend my future with you."

"I am too."

"I'm so excited to live together, to work together, to fight for Dumbledore together, everything. I'm excited to buy groceries with you!" He exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, looking up at him in confusion.

"I've never been grocery shopping before, and we get to do it together!" He said, his smile spreading from ear to ear.

Lily laughed at him. "I'm excited to teach you how to go grocery shopping, James." He leaned forward and kissed her head and she sighed happily.

They danced and chatted with other guests that came by for a few more hours until everyone started to dissipate. Lily found Alice across the room and pulled her into a big hug. "Alice, I'm so so happy for you. You look beautiful, and your vows were so sweet. I'm so glad you have Frank," she said.

Alice put her head on top of Lily's and squeezed her hard. "I'm so glad you were here, and that everyone else was here. This has been such an amazing day, I can't express how happy all of this has made me." She looked up and saw James standing near by. "The way James was looking at you tonight it looks like you might not be far behind," she said, winking.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay." She turned around and waved to James, who had found her mother.

Alice nodded. "Are you all leaving soon?"

"Yeah, I think so." She hugged her again. "I love you, I'm so happy for you. I hope marriage is everything you dreamed and more." She leaned in and gave Frank a side eye. "And he causes any trouble you let me know." They both looked at Frank who was sneaking little bits of cake and looking around suspiciously and dissolved into giggles. They hugged one more time and Alice left to go join Frank.

Lily joined James and her mother and they made their way to the entrance hall where people were heading outside to Apparate or take a broom back home. Lily said goodbye to James, kissing him lightly. He tried to persuade her to come home with him but she told him that they would see each other in two days. He fake pouted and she laughed at him. "You'll survive, I promise."

"Will I?"

She nodded and grabbed a handful of floo powder, stepping into the fire. She disappeared and Rose followed her shortly after.

They got back to the house and Lily immediately went to bed, thoroughly exhausted from the day's activities.

Lily rolled out of bed the next morning, her hair and makeup still done from the night before. She stood up slowly and headed towards the bathroom to shower and get all trace of the wedding off of her.

She stood in the shower, letting the water hit her face, the steam envelope her. After, she threw on a t-shirt and some shorts and went downstairs for breakfast.

When she got to the kitchen, Petunia was sitting at the table, slowly stirring a spoon around a teacup, a slightly tinkling noise coming from it every time the spoon brushed the sides. Lily smiled and grabbed some bread to put in the toaster. "Petunia, what are you doing here?" she asked brightly, pouring herself a cup of tea from the kettle on the stove.

Petunia looked up at her and made a face at her ratty shirt. "I'm just talking to mum about some wedding stuff."

Lily gave her a confused look. "Whose wedding?" Petunia moved her hand so that a ring was easily visible on her left hand. Lily choked on her tea. "You're getting married?!"

Petunia gave her a disdainful look and slid a napkin across the table. "Yes."

"To Vernon?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"But Tunie-"

"Don't call me that," Petunia barked, causing Lily to shrink back.

Suddenly saddened, Lily looked at her for a long moment, studying her face, her ring. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Petunia looked at her and her face seemed to soften for a second before immediately resuming its pinched expression. "You seemed busy."

Lily frowned and tried to reach across the table for her hand. Petunia pulled her hand back sharply and set it in her lap. "I'm never too busy for you, Petunia. I want to know what's going on with you. I want us to be friends again."

Petunia, instead of answering, stood up and moved out into the hallway. "Mum! Are you almost done?"

Lily sat back in her chair and sighed. Their mother came down the stairs holding a large dress bag. "I've got it." She hooked the hanger on top of the door and unzipped the bag, revealing her wedding dress she had worn twenty-five years before for her own wedding. Lily gasped, she had only seen it in pictures, and it was stunning. It had a high neckline, adorned with lace and small beads. Its sleeves ended right after the elbow, completely made of lace. It had a puffy bottom, flaring out before stopping around mid-calf. It was perfect. Lily looked at Petunia, who was pulling it out to get a better look at the dress. "Are you going to wear it?"

"Yes." Rose saw Lily's face fall and she made a sympathetic expression at her. Lily shrugged and stood up to grab her toast. She grabbed some jam out of the fridge and began spreading it on her toast.

Rose spoke up. "You can try it on, I think I've finished all of the alterations, but if anything's wrong maybe Lily could-"

"No," Petunia snapped. She looked over her shoulder. "I'm not letting her mess it up with any of _that_." She picked up the dress and headed upstairs to her old room, Rose following behind her after mouthing an apology towards Lily.

Lily sat back down and miserably picked at her toast. Petunia hadn't even mentioned that Vernon proposed. Lily had no idea when the wedding was, or anything about it.

Rose came down a little while later. "She's 'analyzing' it," she said, using air quotations. Lily laughed lightly. Rose sat down and grabbed Lily's hand. "I'm sorry, I thought she had told you."

"Did it just happen? When's the wedding?" Lily asked.

"Well, it's next month," Rose said awkwardly.

Lily's stomach fell. "What?" She realized this meant that she probably wasn't invited. She looked up sadly. "So I guess I'm not her maid-of-honor," she said, laughing mirthlessly. When they were little, before everything changed, they would play dress up and Petunia would always talk about Lily being her maid-of-honor. Lily couldn't wait to wear a pretty dress and do everything for Petunia on her special day.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I figured she would have at least sent you a letter."

Lily shook her head. "It's fine. If she doesn't want me at her wedding I'm not going to force her into inviting me." Rose looked at her. "Really, it's fine, I'll be moving into my new flat next month and I'll be busy and…" she trailed off, trying to think of a good reason not to be upset.

Rose frowned. "Well, the three of us were going to go out to dinner tonight, but what if you and James go with her and Vernon instead of me? Maybe you can smooth things over and still come," she offered.

Lily shrugged. "Maybe."

Petunia came down, the dress folded over her arm. She put it back in the bag and zipped it up. "It fits, thank you, mum." She crossed the room to hug her. "I'm going to go meet with the florist, so I was thinking we will just meet you at the restaurant, okay?"

Rose looked over at Lily, who shook her head. "Actually, Petunia I was thinking Lily and James could go. You could meet James, and Lily could get to know Vernon a bit better…. And it would make me so happy, you know," Rose said sweetly.

Petunia sighed and rubbed her temples. "Fine. Just do not be late. Vernon hates when people are late." She shook her head. "On second thought we'll just pick you up here, I don't want you flying in on a magical carpet or something."

Lily felt like telling her that magic carpets were illegal, but she just nodded. "We'll be here. Thanks, Petunia." She smiled and Petunia nodded curtly before leaving. She turned back to her mother. "She hates me."

"I'm sorry."

James reached over and put a hand on Lily's knee, keeping it from bouncing. "Lils, it's going to be fine."

She nodded slowly, her gaze not wavering from the window. James heard a low rumble outside and Lily jumped up, smoothing out her dress. She tried to look nice, but also as plain as possible. Rose always said that Petunia felt overshadowed by Lily and she did not want to do anything that might upset her. "They're here, come on," she said, grabbing James' hand.

She dragged him out onto the lawn and towards their car. Petunia, sitting in the passenger seat, did not even look in their direction. Lily opened the door and slid in, James behind her. "Hello, how are you both?" James asked brightly.

Petunia huffed and looked out of the window and Vernon grunted. "Fine." James sat back and nodded. Lily shook her head and leaned over to buckle his seatbelt. Once he was strapped in he tugged awkwardly at it, keeping it away from his body.

"Do you mind if I open the window?" James asked, already feeling claustrophobic.

"Don't." Petunia said sharply.

James looked at Lily, bewildered. Lily just hung her head. James laughed awkwardly. "Well, Vernon, this is a very nice car," he said, attempting to make conversation.

Vernon looked in the rear-view mirror and met James' eye. "Thank you," he said shortly. James smiled at him and Vernon spoke up again. "It's almost brand new, you know. The dealer tried to get me to pay full price but I haggled down quite a bit, didn't I Tunie?" He asked, grinning. Petunia simply nodded, not looking at him. Vernon chuckled. "Three hundred sixty-five horse power, enough torque to rotate the Earth, could race anyone and leave 'em in the dust." He patted the dashboard. "Won't find a nicer car out there for what I got for it."

James nodded along, not understanding a single word he said. _Horsepower? Did they use horses to power it?_ He was so confused. He continued though, trying to make things go as smoothly as possible. "Racing, huh? We should see who's faster, your car versus my broom," he said, mostly joking.

" _What?_ " Vernon said, whipping his head back, inadvertently turning the wheel sharply.

Petunia gasped. "Vernie, eyes on the road."

Vernon turned back. "Right, yes of course." He still narrowed his eyes at James through the mirror. "What do you mean your broom?"

James smiled awkwardly. "Well I don't know the horsepower of it, but it's pretty fast! I can make it from side of the pitch to the other in just a couple of seconds. It's one of newest racing brooms, a Nimbus 1500. Hardly anyone could catch me when I had the Quaffle," he said, proudly.

Vernon huffed. "Are you taking the piss, _boy_?" He said, sneering on the word boy.

James looked to Lily, confused. Petunia uncomfortably cleared her throat. "Vernie, the magic thing I told you about, they ride brooms. Like you see in the cartoons," she said so quietly Lily almost couldn't hear.

"Oh." Vernon grunted.

James laughed again, severely uncomfortable. "Sorry, Vernon, I didn't mean to offend you, or anything. I was just impressed by how far Muggle-" Lily winced he said the word Muggle- "technology has come. I didn't think cars go so fast," he explained.

Vernon huffed and didn't respond, but rather scoffed under his breath. "Racing broom. Ridiculous."

James was quiet for the rest of the ride, which thankfully was not long. They stepped out of the car and Vernon made a big show of handing his keys to the valet. He waved a pudgy finger in the boy's face. "Now you be careful, you hear me? Car's worth more than your life, boy." The valet nodded nervously and got behind the wheel, slowly pulling around the parking lot. Vernon shook his head. "Can't trust them too much. They see a fancy car and get all hot-headed."

They made their way up to the hostess podium and Vernon pushed past James. The hostess looked up at him expectantly. "Yes, I have a _reservation_ , for Dursley, Vernon Dursley." The hostess nodded and led them to their table. James noticed that Vernon had a tendency to talk to people as if they were idiots. He didn't like that much.

They were seated and James looked around. It was a nice restaurant, he could see some other people dressed fancily in suits and shimmering dresses. He only had his dress robes, so he opted to just wear some trousers and a button up white shirt. A fact that did not go unnoticed by Vernon, he was sure.

Lily handed James a menu and James took it, flipping through it slowly. He looked up at Vernon. "Thank you for allowing us to come along. I'm glad I get to know Lily's family." Vernon merely grunted and snapped his fingers at the waiter.

"Yes, I'd like a bottle of your Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame, and some chilled glasses for the table. And go ahead and bring everyone some waters as well." He looked over at Lily and James. "Either one of you want a soda or anything?" He asked, almost daring James to say something stupid. They both shook their heads and the waiter turned to leave. James gave him a sympathetic smile. The waiter shrugged behind Vernon's back and smiled back.

He came back a few moments later with a bottle of wine and some glasses. He pulled out a crisp white napkin and poured each them a glass. Lily and James both thanked him. He left again, giving them time to peruse the menu.

"Vernon, have you guys been here before? What's good?" James asked, looking at the prices of everything. He didn't know much about Muggle money, but he was sure fifty something pounds couldn't be cheap.

Vernon closed his menu and set it to the side. "We usually get the lobster tails. They do a pretty good job here." James nodded, knowing that there was no way he would eat a lobster.

He looked over at Lily. "What are you thinking of getting, love?"

Lily set her menu down carefully. "I guess just the chicken piccata."

James nodded. "I'll get the same." Vernon scoffed, probably thinking James was purposefully disregarding his suggestion. James took a sip of his wine and made a slight face. He didn't like it.

Vernon noticed this. "You ever had wine before?"

James shook his head. "We usually have spiced mead, or firewhiskey. Maybe you could try it sometime, it's quite good."

Vernon shook his head and waved over the waiter aggressively. The waiter came over and pulled out a small notebook. "I'll have the lobster tail, and make sure to give me lots of butter on the side. And I'll take thousand island dressing on my side salad. And bring us all refills of water already." The waiter nodded.

"And for you, miss?" He asked, addressing Petunia.

"I'll just have the house salad. No cheese or dressing please," she said delicately.

Vernon chuckled. "Are you sure sweetie? You can order whatever you like."

Petunia pursed her lips tightly. "I have a wedding dress to fit into," she said curtly.

The waiter brightened. "Congratulations, miss!" He turned to Lily. "And what about you?"

Lily set her menu on top of James' and moved them closer to the waiter. "I'll just have the chicken piccata with Italian dressing on my salad." She waited for a moment for him to write this down and then spoke again, "and he'll have the same," she said, indicating James.

He finished writing and nodded. "The piccata is my favourite, I'm sure you will enjoy it." Lily smiled at him. He picked up the menus Lily had given him and moved around the table to collect Vernon's and Petunia's. "I'll be right back with those salads, folks."

"Don't forget the water," Vernon barked after him. There was an awkward silence before he spoke up again. "So, James, what do you do for a living?"

James cleared his throat. "Well actually I don't have a job right now, I just graduated and Lily and I are sort of figuring everything out right now," he said, laughing lightly.

Vernon's eyes narrowed. "You aren't working? How old are you?"

"Well I'm eighteen, but I don't really need to-"

"Eighteen? You should have had a job for years now. I was already working in my father's shop when I was seventeen." He took a sip of his wine, his face growing more flushed by the moment. "You need to make an honest living if you're going to be supporting Lily."

James frowned. "Well I doubt she'll need my supporting, she actually got a job offer from an excellent potions master, she'll be-"

"Don't say that so loudly," Petunia demanded, her voice shrill.

James startled. Petunia hadn't addressed him directly all night. He nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry. I always forget that Mug-" Lily squeezed his leg under the table- "uh, you uh, people, don't really talk about stuff like that."

Vernon huffed. "You people? We're the majority you know, you ones are the outsiders here."

"You're right, I'm sorry, I'm being rude, I didn't mean to offend-"

"Let's just change the subject, yeah?" Lily said. "Vernon, how is work going?"

Vernon sat up a little straighter, his broad chest puffing out. "Well I actually just got a promotion, manager of regional sales. Quite a hefty salary increase, I might add." He grabbed Petunia's hand. "Perfect timing, now that I'll be supporting my family," he said, his dig at James clear.

Lily fought the urge to scream at him. "That's great. I'm so happy for you," she said through tight lips. "Petunia, how is your job?"

"I quit," she said shortly. "I don't want a job distracting me from my duties at home."

Lily looked at her incredulously. "Duties at home?"

"Yes. We'll be starting a family soon. I don't need to be flitting all over London for some silly job."

Lily looked down. "Oh."

James grabbed her hand under the table and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, attempting to be comforting. "So, a family? So soon?" he asked.

"Got to make a son to pass down my name, huh?" Vernon said, clapping Petunia on the shoulder. She nodded, not meeting anyone's eye.

"I'm happy for you, Petunia," Lily said quietly.

"Thank you," she said back, even quieter.

The waiter brought over their food and Vernon began tearing into his lobster tail. He talked in between bites, slimy butter dripping down the side of his face. "So, if you don't have a job, how do you expect to pay for this flat you're talking about?"

James picked at his chicken slowly. "Well my parents are supporting me right now, my father invented this uh," he was careful not to mention the word potion again, "product, for hair. He made a fortune and so we're quite comfortable." He laughed a bit. "I could probably never work a day in my life, with all the galleons we have piled up in Gringotts."

Vernon stopped chewing for once and stared at him. "What the hell is a galleon?"

Petunia put her hand on his shoulder. "It's their money. It's like a gold coin." Lily raised her eyebrows at her, surprised she would know.

"So you're just going to suck off your parents for the rest of your life?" Vernon asked waspishly.

"Well no, I just have a large inheritance and they don't mind me using it right now to get us set up and-"

"Oh, so you're just a little rich boy, never worked a day in your life, huh?" He asked. A vein began pulsing in his forehead. Lily couldn't help but think that he wouldn't be so crass if he hadn't drank most of the bottle of wine next to him.

James closed his fist under the table, fighting to keep his calm demeanor. "That's not really a fair-"

"I'll tell you what's fair, working for your living, _boy_." Vernon scoffed. "And I suppose you're still going collect unemployment checks and-"

"Wizards don't have unemployment checks-"

Vernon slammed his fist on the table. "Don't. Say. That. _WORD!_ " He demanded, alerting some of the other guests around them.

James took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to _offend_ you, Vernon. I am just trying to explain my answer to a question that _you_ asked me!" He was flustered. He couldn't get a word in to defend himself.

Vernon stood up and threw down his napkin. "Well fine, little rich boy, why don't _you_ pay for this dinner with your damn galleons!"

He stormed out of the restaurant and Petunia, close to tears, ran after him. She turned back before the exit and glared at the two of them before slamming the door behind her.

James took off his glasses and ran a hand down his face. He looked at Lily, and noticed small tears silently streaming down her face. He took her hands. "Lily, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Lily shook her head. "It's not your fault. He's horrid." She sobbed and put her head down on the table.

The waiter came back and looked at the situation around him. He looked at Lily quietly crying on the table and James' bewildered look. "Uh, sir? Is everything okay."

James sat back and nodded wearily. "Could we just pay now, please?" The waiter nodded. "Thank you." He rubbed Lily's back and tried to comfort her.

The waiter returned with a small black book and James opened it. He look at the small piece of paper inside and saw that the meal costed two hundred and fifty pounds. He sighed and pulled out the Muggle money he had converted before agreeing to come to this dinner. He handed the waiter four hundred pounds and got up to leave, taking Lily's hand.

The waiter looked at him. "Uh sir, I think you've given me too much," he said, trying to hand back some of it.

James shook his head. "You had to deal with us, keep it."

"Well, thank you, sir," he said. "I'm sorry that uh, well um,"

"Don't worry about it." He got Lily to stand up and he pushed their chairs in behind them. "Have a good night man." He lead Lily out of the restaurant and they stepped into the warm summer evening air.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his wand and Lily stopped him. "Not here." He nodded. "Besides, I don't want to go home just yet. I don't want my mum seeing me crying and get upset." She started walking. "Let's just walk for a while. I need to calm down a bit." She frowned. "It's going to be too crowded everywhere to Apparate. Somebody will hear or see us." She looked around. "We're not far from my house anyways."

James followed her. They walked along a road for a while, occasionally getting honked at by cars. It startled James every time. Lily laughed every time he jumped. He wrapped an arm around her waist. "I'm sorry Lils, I shouldn't have let him get to me."

"You stayed calmer than I would have," she said. "It's not your fault." She stopped and looked up at the sky, stars starting to peek out. "I wish you decked him."

James snorted. "I'll do it next time I see him, alright love?" She nodded.

They started walking again and Lily looked down at her feet. "If I had known we would have walk home I wouldn't have worn high heels."

James stepped in front of her and squatted bit. "Climb on."

Lily laughed. "I'm not going to make you carry me for another mile."

James looked back at her, not moving. "I'm not going to let you walk in those shoes for another mile."

Lily shook her head and laughed. She climbed up on James' back and he stood up. He bounced her once to get her legs up above his hips. "Thank you." She leaned her head against his shoulders. "I'm sorry I made you go. I don't think you're a pretentious rich boy."

James smiled. "I should have invited him to my house. He would have had an aneurysm at the sight of it and you wouldn't have to deal with him."

"All that nonsense about making an honest living." She scoffed. "You've worked harder in one day than he has in his entire life. A drilling company. Please."

"The opinion of a man who treats a waiter like that doesn't matter to me."

"Thank you for being so nice to that waiter. And you didn't have to tip him that much," she said. "I'll pay you back, at least half."

James shook his head. "I'm sure it wasn't that much. I don't really care anyways. Not like I have a shortage or anything. How many galleons do you think it was?"

"I think the galleon is about five pounds? So that'd be around two thousand galleons?"

James whistled. "Damn." He shook his head. "I'm sure he was just showing off. That bottle of wine was like seventy pounds alone."

"What an asshole," Lily said. "I hate his guts."

"I promise I'll never be like that," James said.

Lily scoffed. "James, you're carrying me home after enduring a horrible night with my sister. I don't think you could ever even think about being like him." She was quiet for a minute. "Thank you, I don't know what I'd do with you."

"Probably crash and burn." He grinned back at her. "And have some pretty bad blisters."

* * *

Hi guys, I know it's been a while since I updated, please don't hate me. I promise I will update soon!


	42. Pretty Words, Ugly Truths

Lily shifted awkwardly from foot to foot in Dumbledore's office. She hadn't been back in this room in a long time. She looked around, watching as people came in either the door or by floo. She wasn't the only one uncomfortable; all of the portraits of the past headmasters seemed to be miffed at all of these people coming into their room this late in the evening. Several other people stood around, either chatting quietly, or looking around.

Dumbledore stood off to the side, quietly chatting with a man with red hair, a scarred face, and an eyeball that seemed to have a mind of its own. Lily shuddered as its gaze slid over her. James intertwined their fingers at their side and squeezed her hand slightly.

Peter came in, looking as nervous as Lily felt. James smiled and called him over. He crossed the room apprehensively, giving the man with the fake eye a wary look. "Hi guys."

"Hey Wormy," Lily said brightly. "How have you been?" It had been a couple weeks since they saw him at Alice's wedding. They had all been so busy that they had barely seen any of their friends.

"I'm good. I got a job over on Diagon Alley, helping out at the bookstore. It doesn't pay much, but it gets me out of my mum's house a few times a week, so that's nice," he said, looking back at the man with the glass eye a couple of times.

James squeezed his shoulder. "That's great! Maybe you can get a flat or something around Diagon Alley once you save up some money." Peter nodded slowly, his eyes still darting around the room. Lily could tell he was out of his element. James noticed this as well. "If you're worried about that guy over there that's just Alastor Moody. He's an Auror. He's put more guys in jail than anyone else," he leaned in and lowered his voice. "Bit of a mad hatter though."

Peter nodded, relaxing slightly, especially now that Sirius and Remus had just come in. Sirius jumped on James and pulled him into a hug. "Why have I barely seen you lately?"

James let out a breath when Sirius knocked into him. "I've been busy. I promise I'll invite all of you over for dinner or something when Lily and I get settled into our flat."

Lily beamed. "We get the keys tomorrow!"

Remus opened his mouth to congratulate them, but was interrupted by Dumbledore clearing his throat. Lily heard the door open and saw Marlene slip in quietly, giving everyone an apologetic look.

Dumbledore smiled softly at her late entrance. "Well. Now that everyone is here, I would like to introduce an old friend of mine, Alastor Moody. He has been an invaluable resource to the Ministry, as well as to me and our cause." Moody nodded once at them, gripping his gnarled walking stick with both hands in front of him.

"I am glad you all came. As I have mentioned in the past, I have been forming an organization dedicated to stopping Voldemort." Several noises and gasps rang throughout the room when he said the name, but he continued. "I have reached out to you all knowing that you all will be integral to this mission and to the safety of the wizarding world." He looked at all of the people in front of him. "I will not lie to you. It will be dangerous, and I cannot guarantee anyone's safety, but I ask that you do everything you can to help us. None of us will be able to stop him alone, and the fate of our world rests in your hands."

The mood of the room suddenly went somber as Dumbledore talked about the dangers of joining the fight. This did not escape him. "I understand if some of you do not want to join us. I would never ask any of you to lay down your lives for us." He looked around, as if expecting someone to get up and leave. Lily looked over at Peter, who looked like he might be considering it. She reached over and held his hand, hoping to help him feel better. She turned her attention back to Dumbledore. "Most of our work will entail collecting information and attempting to interfere with plans, but more dangerous situations may arise."

Moody cleared his throat. "What Albus is trying to say is that you may get attacked. These people have no remorse. They won't think twice about killing any one of you, regardless of blood status," he said, looking pointedly at James. James raised his eyebrows and blinked.

"Nicely put, Mad-Eye," someone said from the side of the room.

Moody shrugged. "I'm telling them the truth. They ought to know what they're getting into." he turned to Dumbledore. "Your words are pretty, Albus, but they should go into this knowing that could killed, kidnapped, tortured, anything."

Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Yes, Alastor is right. Though I hope that this does not deter you." Several people around shook their heads, James included. "Good. For those of you that know Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, their estate will serve as headquarters for now. We will send out patronuses whenever we need to have a meeting. If you are ever separated, meet back there and wait until someone has found you."

Lily looked up at James, surprised that his house would be the hub for all of these future members. He looked just as surprised as she did. Euphemia and Fleamont always kept their involvement with Dumbledore quite secretive.

"Does anyone have any questions or reservations about joining us?" The room was silent, no one planning on objecting. He nodded once. "Then welcome, to The Order of the Phoenix."

Lily felt a chill wash over her as Dumbledore said those words, as if him saying it out loud finally made it seem real to her.

"If you are ready, we have work to do and we want to get started as soon as possible," Moody said gruffly, grabbing a bag behind him full of papers. He waved over to the person who had made a comment on his speech earlier and handed him some of the papers.

Marlene made her way over to Lily and James. "Well that was cheerful, eh?" she asked. She hugged Lily and nodded at James.

"What do we do now?" James asked.

"Get an assignment, there's plenty of them," someone said behind them. They turned around to come face to face with a tall woman. She had a sharp chin and slim cheeks. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail that came down her back. On one side she had braids against her skull, and her dark skin had small scars nicked all over her face and neck. She stuck her hand out towards James. "Dorcas Meadowes. I assume you're James Potter?"

He nodded and she shook the hands of everyone else in the group. They all introduced themselves. Marlene stared at her few a long moment. "What do you mean, an assignment?"

Dorcas walked passed them and jerked her head to indicate that they should follow her. She went to Dumbledore's desk and picked up some of the papers Moody had set aside. "We got lots here, gathering intel, tailing some people we think are suspicious, other stuff." She looked at Lily and rifled through Moody's bag. She handed her a piece of paper. "Dumbledore told us you were the best at potions in this group. Here's some stuff we need brewed."

Lily nodded. "Well I doubt I'm the _best_ at potions here but-"

Dorcas cut her off. "Don't sell yourself short. Slughorn was non-stop raving about you. He definitely liked that little trick you pulled with the fish." Lily blushed. "And besides, men brag about how great they are all of the time, you should get to too." She winked and Lily laughed.

Marlene stepped forward. "What do you got for me?"

Dorcas looked her up and down, smiling. "I like a girl that takes initiative." Marlene smiled slightly and looked down, looking flustered for the first time that Lily had ever seen. "What are you good at?"

"Well, I'm a good flyer, I got an O on my Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T.," she said, trying to seem confident.

Dorcas nodded, handing her a piece of paper. "We got some sketchy people hanging around Diagon Alley a lot, the Auror's office's been getting lots of complaints about them making comments about Muggleborns, lookin' creepy, that sort of thing. Go check 'em out, tail 'em for a bit, see what's up, that kind of thing." She turned to the rest of them. "Any of you want to go with her? Looks less suspicious to be hangin' 'round in a group."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I'm not doing anything right now, and I'd love to get in a duel with a Death Eater."

She gave him a look. "Don't get all hot headed on us. Keep it on the down low, don't draw too much attention to yourself." Sirius made a face and Dorcas turned back to Marlene. "You'll keep him in check, won't you?" Marlene nodded vigorously. She smirked. "Good girl." Marlene giggled and blushed hard.

Lily gave her a bewildered look. She had never seen her act like this before. James smiled though, knowing exactly what was going on.

Dorcas handed out a couple more papers and let them go. She told Remus to follow her though and he went to go talk with Dumbledore and Moody quietly in the corner. Sirius watched with concern.

Lily looked over the list at everything she should brew. She got excited; she hadn't brewed anything since Hogwarts. She realized she could ask Fleamont to use the room he showed her last summer.

Remus came back over and made a move to leave. Sirius stopped him. "What was that about?"

Remus waved him off. "It was nothing, they were just asking me what I'd like do for assignments and stuff." Sirius gave him a suspicious look, but followed him out.

They all left, assignments in hand, and exited the castle towards Hogsmeade. Once off the grounds they all apparated away.

James got up the next morning and ran downstairs to find his mother and father already seated in the kitchen, talking quietly. "I'm moving out today!" He exclaimed.

Euphemia stood up and cupped his cheeks. "My sweet baby is leaving the nest? What am I going to do without you?" She planted a sloppy kiss on his forehead and tried to smooth down his hair.

"Muuum, stop!" He said, trying to wiggle away from her. She shook her head and pulled him into a big hug, squeezing him hard.

"Do you know how proud I am of you?" James made a face. "I'm serious, Jamesy. You've become a fine young man. I know you're going to do great things." She fake sobbed. "My baby, all grown up!"

James rolled his eyes. "I promise I'll come back and visit."

Fleamont chuckled. "Especially with this being the new headquarters."

Euphemia frowned. "Well, I don't want you here just on business." She clapped her hands together. "I know! We should have you two over for dinner on Sundays!" She crossed the kitchen to pour James a cup of tea. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

He nodded, accepting the mug. "I'll tell Lily."

"Go ahead, she's downstairs," Fleamont said over his copy of the Daily Prophet.

"What? Why is she here?" James asked, standing up.

"She wanted to get a head start on her Order potion brewing."

James looked at him, confused. "Why would she do that here?"

Fleamont looked at Euphemia who raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. She's just downstairs, why don't you go find her," he suggested.

James left the kitchen and headed down the large staircase. The air got noticeably cooler as he descended deeper below the house. He never realized anyone came down here, he figured it was just a place to store old junk. He looked around. "Lily?" He called. "Lils where are you?"

A door opened to his right, at the end of the hall. "James? I thought you weren't allowed down here," she said, opening the door wider and walking back into the room.

"There's a part of my house where you're allowed to go but I'm not?" he asked. He followed her into the room and blinked, surprised by what he found. His dad had a whole potions laboratory down here and never knew. "What in Merlin's name…"

Lily sat back down, stirring her potion. "Your dad didn't want you bothering him or messing with this stuff when you were a kid."

"So he showed my girlfriend before he showed me?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"I'm just more trustworthy than you," she said sweetly. "What are you doing down here?"

"Well I was thinking we might move into our flat today, but you seem rather preoccupied," he said, indicating the bubbling cauldron before her.

She shook her head. "Don't worry, this has to brew for a month. Polyjuice potion," she explained. James nodded, eyeing the sludge in her cauldron. He hoped Dumbledore wouldn't ever make him drink it.

Lily wiped down her table and left the cauldron to simmer quietly. The two headed back up the stairs and into the kitchen. "Thank you again, Fleamont. You have no idea how much I love working down there. And I never would have been able to get all of those ingredients on my own."

He grinned at her over his square glasses perched low on his nose. "Perks of the job. I'm glad you're putting it to good use."

James looked at Lily and took her hand. "I think we're going to go over now," he said. His parents nodded at him. Euphemia came over to hug them both one last time before they left. They left by floo to the Leaky Cauldron and walked from there. It wasn't far from Diagon Alley, which Lily appreciated. If she was going to be brewing for both her job and for Dumbledore she'd need to be close to an apothecary.

They came up on their building. James looked up, squinting in the sun. The building itself wasn't pretty. It was dingy, turned gray from all of the smog and dust collecting on its brick surface for years. He looked around for a moment, watching everyone zip past. It was crowded around here, but it made it easier to slip out undetected and get lost in the crowd; perfect for an easy escape.

Lily walked up to the door and buzzed the office. The heavy metal door unlocked and Lily pushed inside. They turned right into the leasing office, a chubby, slightly older woman seated behind the desk. She brightened when she saw him. "The Potters!" James grinned over at Lily at the woman's assumption.

"We're here to pick up our keys," James explained. "We're moving in today."

She nodded and began rifling through her drawer. "Yes of course you are, and we are just so lucky to have you! I told the manager that if he didn't let to you I'd pop him!" She made a motion with her small, pudgy fist, indicating the punch she would have given Mr. Schwartz. "But he liked you guys almost as much as I did!" She handed over two sets of keys and a mailbox key. James took it and nodded at her. She giggled. "Oh I love seeing young couples! Reminds me of myself at your age!"

They both laughed awkwardly. "Thank you, we'll come see you if we have any trouble getting in," James said. The lady nodded vigorously at them and waved them goodbye.

They made their way up the stairs to their fourth floor apartment, as there wasn't an elevator. They reached their door and James made a big show of pulling out the key. "Are you ready, Mrs. Potter?" He asked, sticking the key in the lock.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up. And if we get married we're going to take my name. I don't all the pomp and circumstance that comes with being a Potter."

James looked offended. "You'll break my mother's heart," he lamented.

"Just open the door," she said. He made to turn the key. "Wait!" She reached out and put her hand on his. "Let's do it together." He beamed at her and they turned the key, the lock clicking back.

They pushed the door open and walked in. Lily was already in love. They had a small kitchen with an old stove and table already in the middle. Their living room had large windows that looked out over all of London and let in plenty of sunlight. Lily giggled, giddy.

She went down the hall and looked into their bedroom. "James! Come here!" He came running down the hall, stopping himself by grabbing the doorway. "We have our own bedroom," she said. "It's our very own bedroom! We get to decorate it, and put up pictures of us and-"

"Have sex in it," James added.

Lily giggled. "Yes, have lots of sex in it." She gave him a flirty look. "But we can use the whole apartment for that," she said, suggestively.

James looked at her. "We should get started on that immediately," he said, crossing the room.

She held her hand out, stopping him. "We don't even have any furniture yet."

James shook his head. "Not true, we have that kitchen table!"

She lowered her arm and moved closer to him. She reached up and kissed him quickly. "I promise there will time for that later. Right now I want to get everything in here and start living on our own!" She giggled again, ecstatic that they had their own flat.

James nodded. "My parents are going to be flooing most of my boxes, so we'll just have to go get yours." He looked around. "Do you think we can Apparate from here, or is it too loud?"

Lily shrugged. "It's probably fine." She took his hand and they spun on the spot, landing on her mother's front porch. Lily put her hand against the door to steady herself. A moment later Rose opened the door.

"I thought that loud noise was probably you." She moved to let them both in. "Are you here for your boxes? Are we driving them over?"

Lily shook her head, pulling out a canvas bag. "I have this."

Rose looked confused. "But honey, you have way more stuff than that. Your clothes alone are three times the size of that."

Lily smiled mischievously and shoved her entire arm and part of her shoulder into the bag. "Undetectable Extension Charm," she said proudly.

Her mother stared in awe. "You're Mary Poppins! You're literally Mary Poppins!" Rose's hand went to her head. "Oh my lord, Mary poppins is a witch."

Lily laughed and started to head up the stairs to her room, James close behind her. "We'll be down in a little bit. Do you want to come see our loft after I pack up?" Rose nodded happily.

Lily got to her room and set the bag in the middle of the floor. She lazily started flicking her wand, sending everything flying off their shelves and into the sack. Within moments she was done, her walls stripped bare.

James scoffed at her. "Lily I think that's the least amount of effort you've ever put into anything."

"Not fair! I had to learn that Extension Charm!" She protested. "And besides, I like to work smart, not hard." She pointed her wand at the bag, levitating it and let it float in front of her as she made it down the stairs.

Rose was standing at the end, blowing on a hot cup of tea. "Oh! You're done already?" Lily nodded. "Well that was fast, I was expecting at least an hour."

"Magic makes everything quicker," she said. She looked back at James. "Are you ready to go?"

He nodded. He went ahead and stepped inside the fireplace, throwing down some powder. "Potter's loft!" Lily was glad he went first, she wouldn't have known what to say. Rose went next, still looking as apprehensive as the first time she did it. She tossed the powder down and called out the name of her destination as well; disappearing into a flash of green flame.

Lily took one more look around the room, taking it in. She was moving out, and to live with her boyfriend no less. It was crazy how much her life had changed in just a year. She looked around and spotted a picture sitting on the end table of her and her dad sitting in his office. She grabbed it and placed it in her bag before stepping into the fireplace and disappearing too.

She came tumbling out the other side into their new flat. Rose was already walking around, inspecting everything. Lily stepped out of the fireplace into the living room. Boxes were already piled up, and behind a stack Euphemia came out. "Lily, this is just wonderful! The view is incredible, and you're so close to everything! It's perfect for you two."

Lily set down her bag. "Thank you, I love it."

Fleamont came in from the other room. "Lily, we had some extra furniture so we got it all set up. If you don't like it you don't have to keep it."

"No, of course we'll take it, thank you so much Fleamont, that's so kind of you." She moved past him to look at the furniture they brought. He had set up a large canopy bed in the bedroom with a fluffy white bedspread and tons of pillows. He had also brought matching dressers and two arm chairs. She came back out and hugged him. "Thank you so much, it's beautiful, it's just what I wanted the bedroom to look like."

He nodded. "We have so much furniture in various places of our house I forget it's there sometimes."

Lily looked over at her mother. "Mum, do you want to see something cool?" Rose nodded. Lily picked up her bag and set it inside the bedroom. She flicked her wand again and things started flying out, finding a perfect place in the bedroom. The clothes flew to the closet, her pictures arranged themselves neatly on her dresser, even her books stacked themselves in a perfect row on the small bookcase in the corner.

Rose gasped, watching everything fly past her. "God I wish I was a witch. Do you have any idea how much time I could save?"

Lily laughed. "Magic makes you lazy though. You had to do all of the had work yourself." She turned around and sat on the bed, looking around. Euphemia had already added some pictures of her and James and Fleamont around the room.

She came in. "Lily, I left some empty picture frames for you and James to put your own pictures in."

"Thank you Euphemia, I'm sure we'll fill them up soon. I have my wizard camera still," she said. James came in a moment later and followed Lily's example, using magic to open all of his boxes and send his belongings flying through the air. Lily looked around, their work already done. "What do we do now?"

James perked up. "We have to invite everyone over for dinner, I promised."

"We don't have any groceries, or plates for that matter," Lily pointed out.

"Well what if we just got take out?" Rose suggested. "There's a Chinese place down the road. We can go pick it up."

Euphemia looked excited. "Can I come with you? I've beer been to a Muggle restaurant before." Rose looked at, confused. She nodded and laughed quietly. Euphemia clapped her hands together in joy. "Great! Jamesy, you invite your friends and we'll go get the food!"

James nodded. "Don't be weird though, Mum. It's just Muggle food."

"I promise," Euphemia said. Rose grabbed her purse from the counter and they left, Euphemia chatting excitedly.

James pulled out his mirror from his sock drawer and spoke loudly into it. "Sirius!" It took a couple of tries, but Sirius' face eventually appeared.

"What's up?"

"Do you and Moony want to come over for dinner? Lily's mom is getting take-out," James asked.

"What is take-out?" Sirius asked, saying the foreign words with confusion.

James shrugged. "Food."

"Well you know me, I never turn down food." He looked back, presumably at Remus. "We'll be over in a minute. Can we apparate in there?" James nodded. "Okay, be right there."

Lily came back in the room. "I just sent Marlene and Wormy an owl, I hope they get it soon. I told them just to apparate in, so be prepared."

"I told Padfoot and Moony the same thing."

Lily crossed the room and put her arms around James' neck. "We have our own flat."

James smirked down at her. "Really? I think you might have mentioned that a couple of times…. I wasn't sure though."

Lily scowled. "Let me be excited." James laughed and leaned down to kiss her. Lily sighed against him and kissed him back. They hadn't had time or opportunity to be together alone in a long time, pretty much all summer. James' hands slide down her body and gripped her waist, pulling her closer in.

Their chests pressed against each other and James moaned quietly against her mouth. He moved to pull her legs up, but Sirius came into the room. He _tsked_. "Well I thought we were going to have dinner, but it looks like you two are otherwise preoccupied."

James pulled away from Lily and glared at Sirius. "Shut up."

Sirius grinned at him. "Moony and Marlene are out in the living room. But I can leave you alone to christen the place." Lily narrowed her eyes at him and pushed past him into the living room. Sirius raised his eyebrows at James. "Really, Prongs? When your whole family is out there?"

James shook his head. "It's not my fault, we haven't all summer. And she started it."

"You're weak."

"I know."

They joined everyone in the living room where Rose was handing out to-go containers. People were trading and taking bites out of other's. Euphemia was talking about their excursion animatedly. "So then to pay, she used a little plastic card! She just gave it to them and they gave us the food!" She looked over to Rose. "Rose, how does that work?"

Rose chewed, trying to finish her piece of orange chicken. "Well, it's a credit card, so I use it to pay them, and then at the end of the month I get a bill with all of my charges that I pay with money from my bank account."

Euphemia shook her head in disbelief. "Incredible. I would have never thought of that. Can you imagine, Fleamont? Just handing over a little card and they accept that? And they had a little machine to stick it in."

Rose gave Lily a confused look. "Wizards pretty much know nothing about Muggles," Lily explained.

Euphemia nodded. "She's right, we didn't even have Muggle studies when Monty and I went to Hogwarts." She looked like she just had an idea. "Right! I've been meaning to ask you, how does a telephone work?"

Rose explained several Muggle contraptions to the group, and Remus and Lily shared looks. Wizards are helpless. Lily would love if they had telephones, she hated sending owls just to ask someone to come over. She had let James use the telephone to get their gas set up with the city and she had to stop him from screaming into the receiver. Now he eyed it suspiciously every time he passed by it, convinced someone would start talking out of it randomly.

He did try though, that was something. Lily looked around, all of them crowded around the coffee table, some on the couch, some on the floor, chatting and passing around food and drinks.

James smiled over at her and put his hand on her knee. She leaned into him and took a bite of his lo mein. She smiled contentedly, she loved this.

Later on, as everyone was saying their goodbyes, Euphemia pulled James into his bedroom. She closed the door behind them, and smiled at James. "Do you like your new home?"

James nodded excitedly. "I love it, Mum, thank you so much for helping us out for paying it and getting us set up and stuff." She just kept smiling at him and he shifted, uncomfortable. "So uh, what are you doing?"

She nodded. "Right. I have something for you." She pulled out a small box from her cloak pocket. She opened it, revealing a ring. It had a silver band with two pieces wrapping around each other until they came together to hold a small diamond. It sparkled in the little light coming from the setting sun outside their window. She looked down at it. "Now, I'm not saying you have to use it any time soon, but I thought I would give this to you, you know, just in case."

James looked up at her, then back at the ring. "You mean like, to propose to Lily?"

"I don't want to rush you into anything. I know you just moved in together and a lot is going on right now, I just wanted you to have it. It's just been sitting in my jewelry box for years, not doing anyone any good." She handed it him. "Just, keep it, in case you do want to use it."

He took it from her, taking it out of the box to admire it. It was a beautiful ring, better than he would have ever picked out. "Thank you, Mum." He pulled her into a hug. "I know we're young, but I have been thinking about it." He let her go. "Especially with how this war has been going…" He didn't finish his thought.

Euphemia started to tear up, but quickly pushed them back. "I think that you're extremely lucky to have Lily in your life, and I know how happy she makes you. If you're thinking about it at all, I give you my full blessing, and I know your father would too. He loves her. The other morning they spent hours brewing potions."

"Oh yeah, when was anyone going to tell me about that?" he asked accusingly.

Euphemia laughed and smoothed out his hair. "You were such an unruly child, always getting into trouble, we didn't want you getting your hands on anything in there."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He looked at the ring one more time before the closing the box and stuffing it in his sock drawer. "Thank you again Mum. It's a beautiful ring."

Everyone eventually left, and Lily and James were left standing in the living room. He looked at her. "So, we're alone."

Lily ran towards him and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist, almost knocking him over. He laughed and carried her to the bedroom.


	43. Is Now The Time?

Lily shrieked and dropped the plate she was holding, shattering it. She grabbed her wand and held it aloft at the figure in front of her. A bright, shining phoenix had floated into her kitchen, and now remained stationary.

She lowered her wand when she heard Dumbledore's voice ring out. "Trouble may be brewing in Diagon Alley. Report to Leaky Cauldron immediately."

She ran to the bedroom and started throwing on clothing. "James!" She called. He was in the bathroom.

He peeked out. "Yeah?"

"Get dressed, Dumbledore wants us at the Leaky Cauldron."

James' eyes went wide and he spit out the leftover toothpaste in his mouth. He grabbed a pair of jeans from the dresser and threw on a T-shirt. "Did he say what was happening?" Lily shook her head. She grabbed his hand and they apparated right outside of the Leaky Cauldron.

They hurried inside and saw Mad-Eye sitting on a stool, facing a few other Order members. His eye slid rapidly to assess them as they came in. "Evans, Potter, good. Let's go."

"Where are we going?" James asked.

Mad-Eye limped over to the brick wall and began tapping it with his gnarled walking stick. "McKinnon and Black heard some chat about a rally happening in Diagon Alley. We're just going to keep an eye on things," he said gruffly. His eye never stopped moving, darting to examine every nook and cranny of the Alley. Lily gave James a worried look, but they followed him all the same. He looked around one more time. "Alrigh', split up. Black and Evans, take the area by Ollivander's. Lupin, Potter, take down by Gringotts. Meadowes, with me. McKinnon, Prewetts, keep an eye this entrance, follow anyone looking sketchy."

James looked as if he might protest, but he went with Remus. They quickly wove their way through the crowd, keeping their eyes peeled on anyone who didn't look like they were just shopping for school supplies. James saw lots of Hogwarts aged children and suddenly got sick. "Moony," James whispered, "Do you think we should tell some of these people to get out?"

Remus shook his head. "We don't want to arouse suspicion or panic by causing a mass evacuation. Mad-Eye is here, and we got enough Order members to cover every area of this place. They'll be fine."

James frowned. Something didn't feel right. "Where's Wormtail?"

"I think he agreed to keep an eye on the Leaky Cauldron and send Mad-Eye a message if any Death Eater looking people come in."

James nodded and stopped. They stood outside Gringotts, pretending to be chatting. They covertly watched people passing in and out, but no one seemed to be overly suspicious. "What do you think is happening with the others?"

Remus shrugged. "I'm sure it's fine. If anything is going to happen it's probably going to be just a couple of people shouting about Muggleborns or something."

James didn't respond. He wasn't comforted by Remus' words. He didn't know where Lily was, and he was sure everyone knew her as a Muggleborn since that day in Hogsmeade. They watched for a while longer, ready for anything.

Lily and Sirius walked along the Alley, pretending to look at the stuff people were selling on carts. "There's a lot of people here," she said, worried.

"I know." Sirius looked around. "Kids and families too." Lily frowned. Sirius saw this and pat her shoulder. "I'm sure it'll be nothing. Marlene and I just heard some tossers bragging about a rally in the Leaky Cauldron th other day. I'm sure they were just stunting for each other. People talk big about stuff like that." Lily nodded, looking at everyone, mentally assessing them. She kept an eye out for anyone carrying their wand, anyone she might recognize from the Hogsmeade attack.

She saw Mad-Eye standing against a doorway. He, unfortunately, did not blend in very well. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Maybe anyone looking to cause trouble would see him and think twice about doing anything.

She moved around Sirius and picked up a small bag. "This is nice, isn't it, Sirius?" She really moved to get a better look at the entrance from the Leaky Cauldron. A couple of people in black cloaks had just come out. "What do you think of it in the light?" She asked holding it up, directing Sirius' gaze to what she saw.

He nodded. "It's nice." Lily set it down and looked towards Mad-Eye. He had noticed this as well and started moving slowly towards them. Lily saw a couple more people come from the entrance, dressed similarly. She could tell something was about to happen.

She saw Dorcas coming up the other side, wand drawn subtly to her side. Lily and Sirius did the same. Lily turned back to the merchant she was just talking to. "Listen, get to the Leaky Cauldron." The woman looked at her, bewildered. "Go slowly, be calm. Tell the other sellers." The lady nodded and started walking out of the alley, tapping people and motioning them to follow her.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. At least a few people would get out before anything happen. "Why doesn't Mad-Eye go ahead and get them?" Sirius asked.

"Can you imagine the backlash? Everyone would talk about the hot-headed Aurors who are attacking innocent people in the street," Lily explained.

Sirius shook his head. "So we're just supposed to wait for something to happen?" Lily grabbed his arm and slowed him down as they moved closer.

All of the people in cloaks reached the main area and came together. A few people noticed this and started moving back towards the Leaky Cauldron. One of them spoke. "No need to be afraid," his voice boomed over the area. "If you don't give us a reason to hurt you, then no one will get hurt."

Sirius scoffed and started to raise his wand. Lily stopped him. "You heard him. We don't want to give him a reason to start attacking people." Sirius lowered his wand, convinced.

"We come to you today with an opportunity. Join the Dark Lord's cause, and rid the Wizarding World of filthy Mudbloods once and for all." Several people in the crowd hissed or made disgusted noises at his use of the word. "Purebloods, the Mudbloods are threatening the purity of the magical world. How can we let them sully our bloodlines? How can we let them take over a world that they do not belong in? Magic has existed for centuries! These Mudbloods want to ruin our way of life with their Muggle influences!"

"Muggleborns belong here more than you!" A woman in the crowd shouted. The Death Eater flicked his wand and she crumpled to the ground. Someone screamed. Sirius rushed forward and started shooting spells at the group. They all easily deflected them, but Sirius kept moving against them.

Lily ran behind, throwing up protective shields around the people in the square. She yelled at them. "Go! Run! Get out of here!"

Someone from the other side shouted. "They've sealed the exits!" Lily looked back. They were surrounded.

People started apparating out, causing the loud cracking noise, combined the sounds of shouting and spells to reverberate in her ears. She saw a Death Eater running after a few people. "Stupefy!" she shouted. She caught him off guard and he dropped. She shot another spell at him, putting him in a full body bind, just in case he decided to wake up.

She looked back towards Sirius, who was in a full on duel with two Death Eaters. She ran towards him and joined in, throwing every spell she knew at them. Her assault shattered one of their protective enchantments and Sirius shot a stunning spell at the female Death Eater, causing her to drop. The other Death Eater, enraged, started pushing against them. Lily threw up a protective spell around them and Sirius assaulted her with random spells. Jelly legs, full body binds, stunning spells, anything. Her shield sent them all flying off as if they were nothing but gnats. Peter came running up behind her and shot a stunning spell at point blank range to her back.

Sirius stared at him. "Nicely done, Wormtail!" Peter nodded, shaking.

Lily looked across the alley and saw the damage that had been inflicted. Carts were strewn everywhere, the wares flung across the street. People were running, screaming. The Death Eaters seemed to be multiplying. For every one a member of the Order shot down, two more came in. Lily saw one raise his wand out of the corner of her eye and she dropped to the ground, crawling behind one of the carts. She heard the wood splinter as his curses hit the other side.

She rose up quickly and shot a well-timed Expelliarmus, catching his wand as it flew threw the air. She took this moment to hit him with a stunning spell. He dropped and Lily ducked behind the cart again, breathing heavily. She tucked the Death Eater's wand into her boot and looked around for more. "Protego!" She shouted as she saw another one coming towards her. It was a green flash, no doubt a killing curse.

"Carrow, you idiot, we aren't supposed to kill her!" another one shouted, running past. Carrow scowled and kept shooting stunning spells at her. Lily was confused. Why would they have special instructions not to kill her.

Maybe they weren't supposed to kill Order members, but torture them for information. Her shield reflected a stunning curse back on Carrow and shot him down. Lily smiled and looked around. She spotted James, tucked behind a doorway, leaning out quickly to shoot spells before returning to the safety of the brick wall. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he was still okay.

More Death Eaters were advancing on her. She held her ground behind the cart and tried her best to send as many spells as she could without getting hit herself.

James saw Lily ducking behind a cart. He looked out one more time, shot another spell, and then ran across the square, occasionally sending my curses and ducking behind crates. He got hit in the shoulder with a curse, causing blood to rush out. "Fuck!" he shouted. He sent a curse flying at the origin of the spell and the Death Eater fell back.

He kept moving across the street until he could hear Lily's shouts. "Lily!"

She looked over at him, confused. "What?!"

"I need to ask you something!" He yelled, hitting another Death Eater with curse. It barely grazed him, but made him stagger back.

"I'm a little busy, James!" Lily yelled back, dodging a curse.

James jumped up from his hiding place and ran towards her, crouching down immediately behind an overturned cart. "Lily!" She looked at him, bewildered. "Will you marry me?"

She blinked at him, dumbfounded. He jerked up and shot a stunning spell at a Death Eater charging at them. "Is now the time?!" she yelled over the commotion.

"Will it ever be the time?" He shouted, ducking his head. "I love you! I want to spend every minute with you! I don't want to have to go through this again without knowing that we'll always be together!" He jumped up again, this time flinging a curse at another cart, causing it to topple onto an unsuspecting Death Eater. They had a moment of reprieve. "So Lily, will you marry me?"

Lily looked at him, then at the Death Eaters coming towards them, then at him again. "Yes, yes of course! Of course I will!"

James breathed a sigh of relief. "Great!" He ran towards her and took her hand. "Now let's get these sons of bitches."

Lily laughed and kept assaulting the men coming towards them. Suddenly, they all stopped. Lily peeked out from their protective barrier and looked at them. They all started moving towards the center of the alley again. Lily looked back and saw a cloud of black plummet towards the ground.

"What is that?" James yelled.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know!"

The cloud rippled and revealed the form of a man, dressed entirely in black. He had no hair, and his skin looked like it had been stretched over his gaunt features. His eyes were small, pulled into points at the side of his face. His skin was deathly white, and he gripped a stark white wand with a skull on it.

The commotion stopped for a minute as he walked slowly towards the Order members now unmoving, watching with rapt attention. The man smiled, exposing his sharp teeth, pulling his skin even tighter. He looked back at the Death Eaters. "Why all of this bloodshed?" he asked. He _tsked_ and looked around. He walked up, kicking a corpse that had fallen into a heap on the ground. The man's lifeless body rolled over, showing his bloodied face. "Ah, what a shame." He shook his head.

Mad-Eye limped forward, his wand at the ready. The man laughed. "Ah, Alastor. I figured you would make an appearance."

"What are you doing here, Riddle?" he barked back.

Lily looked at James. "Is that Voldemort?" she mouthed. James nodded then turned back to face the scene before him.

"Alastor, you know why I'm here. My question to you is, why isn't your faithful leader here?" He shook his head. "He's asking you to lay down your lives for him, but he wouldn't do the same?"

"Dumbledore is twice the man you will ever be!" Sirius shouted. Voldemort's headed snapped towards him.

He looked at him, cocking his head, his red eyes moving up down, studying him. "You have a lot of faith in him, I see." He smiled again, making Lily shudder. "Who are you?"

Sirius stood up, steeling himself and hardening his expression. "Sirius Black."

Voldemort continued to stare at him. "Black, you say?" Sirius nodded. "Well, you are quite the rebel, aren't you Mr. Black? Your family has dedicated a lot to our cause. You didn't want to join them?" he asked, daring Sirius to talk back to him again.

"I would never join you. You're a sorry excuse for a wizard. You disgust me," Sirius spat.

Voldemort raised his hands. "Ah. What a pity." Lily was frozen, terrified Voldemort might kill him. He looked around at the rest of them. "Do all of you feel this way?" Everyone was silent, staring him down. "Hm." He mumbled quietly. "Than I suppose you all leave me with no choice." He raised his wand. "Let's begin."

He shot a curse at Mad-Eye, but he deflected it. The Death Eaters all scattered, restarting the assault on the Order members. Lily ran towards a side alley, ducking behind the brick wall. She thought James had followed her, but looked back to see he ran in the opposite direction. She shot spells at Death Eaters as they ran past. Some came towards her, but she held them off. One advanced on her, pushing her further back down the alley. She managed to hit him with a stunning spell.

She took a deep breath and was about to go back out to the main fray when she was stopped. Voldemort was walking calmly towards her, unbeknownst to the others in the main area. "Miss Evans, I presume?"

"Stay away from me!" she yelled at him. Her gaze flitted past him, willing anyone to notice where they had gone.

He smiled and kept walking towards her. "Where are your manners?" he asked condescendingly.

"You don't deserve my respect! Sirius is right, you are a pathetic excuse of a man!" she retorted, anger blazing in her eyes. Her heart was pounding against her chest, her blood pulsing in her ears.

Rage flashed in his eyes for a moment before it vanished, his eerily calm demeanor unaffected. With a flick of his wrist, her wand sailed across the alley way. She backed away from him, stumbling. He strode towards her, his footsteps thudding dully against the cobblestone. She fell back against the wall, feeling the rough brick hit her outstretched hands. She had nowhere to go.

She looked around desperately for anything that might save her. He closed the space between them. She pressed herself against the wall, and he stepped towards her, his face centimeters from hers. She could feel his oddly cold breath on her.

"Lily Evans." He looked her up and down. "You have nowhere to go." She looked back at him defiantly. His red eyes bore into her, his pupils sharp slits. He reached out his pale hand and delicately stroked her jaw line with one long finger. "Such a beauty. And powerful too. A waste, truly."

She breathed heavily, tilting her head as far away as possible from him. "Don't touch me," she said, her tone low and threatening.

"Now, Miss Evans. Don't be rude." He shook his head at her as if he was scolding a child. She pushed against him, but the weight of his body was against her, pinning her to the brick. He laughed. Not a human laugh. A shrill bark that pierced her ears and reminded her of nails on a chalkboard. "You are quite powerful, aren't you?" She glared at him. "It's a shame. Had you had chosen to listen to your friend Severus, you could be fighting for me right now."

"Why would you want a Mudblood like me? I thought you wanted us all dead. That's what this war is about, isn't it?" she questioned. She spat the words at him, bitterness and hatred soaking each one.

"No, my dear. It was never about that."

She furrowed her brow and looked deep into his eyes, seeing her own face reflected back to her on the red surface. "What is it about then?"

He leaned in close to her, smiling. His face was so close to her she could how unnatural his skin looked. Waxen, almost like a second skin laid underneath, waiting for him to shed the outside shell. "Power," he whispered.

In a fluid motion his hand moved from her jaw to her neck. He wrapped his long fingers around her throat with ease and pressed against it, hard.

She gasped, but no air came. He continued to stare into her eyes, smiling his evil, disgusting grin. He pressed harder. Lily could see the blood pulse in dark spots around the edges of her eyes. Her lungs burned, begging for air while her head thumped like a war drum.

Her small hands clutched against his in a last attempt to stop him. He was unaffected. He pressed harder still. Lily could feel the back of her skull scraping against the bricks behind her as she clawed at his hand.

Her vision started to blur; her body started to shake. A black haze circled the outer circumference of her eyes, advancing further inward with each second. Her eyelids started to droop, the image of his snake-like face the last thing she saw.

"NO!" Someone shouted.

Lily dropped to the ground, unconscious.

James rushed towards the pair, sending every curse he knew at the man. "STAY AWAY FROM HER!"

Voldemort laughed, his body shaking. He did not raise his wand, but merely disappeared into the cloud he came in, flying across the sky. The Death Eaters did the same, leaving everyone standing around, confused.

"HELP! HELP ME!" James screamed. Sirius and Marlene came rushing towards them.

Marlene gasped, her breath catching in her throat. "Is she dead?" She asked, her voice breaking.

James shook his head. "No! She's not dead! I know she's not." He shook her limp body. "Lily! Lily wake up!"

Mad-Eye pushed him out of the way and put his hand to her neck. "She's still alive, but barely." He called over the twins. "Gideon, Fabian, get her to Mungo's. The rest of you, we'll rendezvous at headquarters." People started scrambling. "Pettigrew! Meadowes!" The two looked up, waiting for an order. "Help me get this place cleaned up, look for stragglers."

Gideon helped James stand up and Fabian picked up Lily. James reached out his hand, ready to apparate, but Gideon shook his head. "She's too weak to apparate. Mungo's isn't far from here. We can borrow some brooms," he said, making his way towards the Quidditch shop.

"Won't someone see us?" James asked.

Fabian shook his head. Once Gideon brought out three brooms for them, Fabian tapped his wand to the top of James' head. He shuddered as it felt like he had poured water down his spine. He looked down and saw that he was see-through. "Disillusionment charm." Fabian did it to himself and to Lily as well. They had James mount his broom and they placed Lily's unconscious body in front of him.

"Hold on tight," Gideon said, mounting his own broom.

They took off and flew above London, hopefully undetected. James gripped Lily tight, terrified she might slide off. Gideon began to descend and James followed him. They landed on the roof of St. Mungos, high above any Muggle that might spot them.

Fabian removed their disillusionment charms and helped James dismount his broom. James carried Lily as they went into a door and down several staircases.

They finally came to the check-in floor and went up to the desk. The receptionist looked at them, seemingly uninterested. Fabian spoke up. "This girl's been suffocated, but she's still alive. She needs medical attention."

The receptionist looked at them for a long moment. "Name?"

"Lily Evans," James said quickly. "Please, she needs help."

The receptionist nodded and called over a few nurses. "Suffocated," she said shortly. The nurses nodded and grabbed a wheelchair to put her in.

They wheeled her to a room and levitated her to the bed. One nurse began muttering spells over her and the other looked at James. "That's a nasty cut you've got there," he said, indicating his shoulder. "Let's go get that patched up."

James shook his head. "I'm not leaving her."

"How noble," the nurse commented. "Come on, it'll take ten minutes tops." James tried to refuse again, but realized how much his shoulder hurt, now that the adrenaline was gone. He nodded and followed him, leaving Lily and the twins alone.

The nurse patched him up quickly, and James moved his shoulder around, feeling much better. "Thank you." He headed back towards Lily's room, and saw that Gideon and Fabian had been forced out to the hallway.

"They wouldn't let us stay in there, mate, but she's fine," said Gideon.

"She'll come to soon, they said," Fabian said, comforting James.

James nodded, than an idea hit him. "Can you guys please stay with her for another five minutes, I just have to do something."

They both nodded, taking a seat in the chairs off to their right. James ran downstairs and apparated, not caring who saw.

He landed in their bedroom at their loft and went to his dresser. He rifled his way through his sock drawer until he found the box his mother had given him a month before. He apparated back to St. Mungo's immediately and ran up to Lily's room.

She was still unconscious, but the nurses were gone. He looked at the twins, still sitting together. "What happened?" he asked.

"They said she's stable now-"

"Just resting-"

"You can go in." James thanked them and they stood up to leave. "See you back at headquarters."

"And congrats," Gideon said, nodding at the little box. James smiled sheepishly and pushed Lily's door open.

He sat in the chair next to her bed and watched her for a moment. He watched her chest rise and fall slowly. He thanked Merlin she was okay, not believing she was able to defy Voldemort and make it out alive. He couldn't believe _he_ defied Voldemort and made it out alive.

He was surprised he didn't just use the killing curse on her. Maybe he was hoping she would give in at some point. James didn't pretend to know he had any inkling of an idea of what might be going on Voldemort's head.

He sat back and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. He was exhausted. He leaned back and started to nod off.

When he came to later, he opened his eyes and saw Lily looking at him. He sat forward and grabbed her hands. "Lily, are you alright?"

"James-" she tried to speak, but only harsh, mangled sounds came out. A nurse standing in the corner writing on a clipboard spoke up.

"You probably won't be able to talk for a while, sweetie. You had some pretty severe bruising on your trachea."

Lily nodded, looking down at her hands. She looked up at James and mimed a wand motion, then raised her hands in a shrug. James looked at her for a moment. "Your wand?" Lily nodded. "Where's your wand?" She nodded again, tapping his hand. He pulled it out and handed it to her. "You probably can't use it for a while though since you can't-"

She conjured a piece of parchment and used her wand to write out a phrase on it. She held it up so he could read it.

 _Don't underestimate me_.

James shook his head and laughed. "Okay."

She moved her wand again and held up the paper.

 _Are you okay?_

"I'm fine, I wasn't the one who got-" he turned around to make sure the nurse had left, "choked out by Voldemort."

Lily looked down, biting her lip.

 _Is everyone else okay?_

"No one was hurt, everyone is meeting at my parent's house now."

 _Did the Death Eaters and Voldemort get away?_

James sighed. "Yeah. After you passed out I ran up and tried to attack him, but he and the rest of the Death Eaters disappeared." Lily made a face. "I know."

She was quiet for a long while, watching the clock on the wall. She eventually picked up the piece of parchment again.

 _Did you mean what you said?_

James beamed and reached into his pocket. He pushed his chair back and kneeled down, opening the little box, revealing the ring. Lily's eyes went wide at the sight of it. He cleared his throat. "Lily, I know this isn't romantic, and you almost just died, and we're in St. Mungo's of all places, but I want to marry you." She started tapping her hand on the edge of the bed excitedly. He laughed. "Do you want to marry me?"

She nodded and leaned over, trying to pull him into a hug. He fell onto her bed, crushing her slightly. "Okay, calm down, you did just have a near-death experience." She made a pouting face. He pulled away and sat on the edge of her bed. He took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit. "I love you," he said.

Lily reached out and touched his chest as if to say that she loved him too. She pulled on his shirt and he kissed her. She broke away and picked up the parchment again.

 _It's beautiful._

"It was my mum's, she gave it to me when we moved in, just in case I'd need it. She was right, as usual." He picked up her hand and moved it back and forth, admiring it on her slender finger. "Do you like it?"

She nodded vigorously.

 _It's perfect._

"You're perfect."

She smirked and wrote again.

 _That was cheesy_.

He leaned over and kissed her again, forgetting, for just a moment, everything that had happened to them.


	44. Adoration and Dedication

"Are you pregnant?"

Lily looked up sharply. "No!" James choked, coughing aggressively.

"So then why do you need to get married in two weeks? Why not wait, plan it out?" Mary asked, looking sideways at James.

Lily huffed. "Because!" Marlene reached over and slapped James on the back while he tried to quiet his coughing fit.

Mary raised her eyebrows and slid her drink across the table. "Chug a firewhiskey then."

"I'm not going to chug a firewhiskey, I'm not pregnant!" She looked to Marlene for support, who just shrugged. Lily pursed her lips. "There's no use in waiting, is there? We don't want a big wedding, we just want to be married," she said, grabbing James' arm and leaning against him.

Sirius smirked. "Cute." Lily playfully stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well?" Lily asked, looking around, "are you in?" The group all nodded. Lily beamed. "Thank you." She leaned back against the plush booth of the Leaky Cauldron. Soon after her release from St. Mungo's, she invited their friends to meet them to share the good news, and to ask for their help. Lily wanted to get married as soon as possible, and even with magic it was an arduous task to plan a wedding in less than two weeks.

Rose had the same reaction, scared that Lily might be pregnant, but she assured everyone that their haste was simply from excitement, not from an impending visit from the stork. Euphemia hadn't been surprised, but rather stressed when they told her. She had immediately started on wedding plans, zipping around the estate, making lists, sending owls.

So far they had only invited their closest friends, few people from the Order, and some professors from Hogwarts. Both Lily and James were hoping it would stay that way.

Remus spoke up. "So what's the plan?"

"Alice, Mary, Marlene, and I are going to find them bridesmaids dresses, James and you three are going to go get matching dress robes. We'll meet back at the florist to get bouquets and boutonnieres. After that we'll head to the Potters' and see how Euphemia and my mum are coming along with the decor and planning," Lily explained.

They paid their tab and left, splitting ways at the entrance. Lily turned to go, but James grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his arms, kissing her.

"Get a room!" Peter shouted.

"Shove it, Wormtail, this is my fiancée!" James retorted, pulling away from Lily. Lily laughed and shook her head.

James grinned at her and ran his hand through his hair. The guys pulled James back and he eventually followed them.

Lily watched him for a second, then turned to follow the girls. Marlene slung her arm around Lily's shoulders. "So, where are we going, Mrs. Potter?"

Lily laughed. "I'm not Mrs. Potter yet. We're going to a shop near here." She bit her lip, looking stressed. "Hopefully they'll have what we're looking for. We can just buy the dresses and Euphemia can help us alter them."

"What are we looking for?" Mary asked.

Lily shook her head. "I don't actually know. Something pretty?"

Alice snorted. "That's specific."

"Well it narrows it down slightly, now we know not to pick anything ugly," Marlene said sarcastically.

"Bite me," Lily said.

"I'll let James handle that," Marlene said, winking.

"Ew, Marlene," Alice said.

"Are you sure you're not pregnant?" Mary asked, earning a shove from Lily. She stumbled and grabbed onto Alice for support. "Hey!"

"I promise, Mary, if I get pregnant, you'll be the first to know," Lily said.

"Prongs, if you could go back to tell your fourth year self that you'd be marrying Lily in two weeks, what do you think you'd say?" Remus said. They walked along the sidewalk, dodging people as they made their way through the crowd. Fleamont had given James the address of his favorite tailor and he was reading the numbers posted on the window fronts as they passed.

"He'd probably have a heart attack. Or try to come back with me so he could marry Lily himself," James said, laughing at what an idiot he had been back then.

"Well you're a man of your word," Sirius said. "Remember, way back when, when you said you'd marry Lily if it was the last thing you do?"

James scowled. "Let's not bring up every time I've embarrassed myself in front of my future wife, yeah?" He looked down, smiling to himself. "My future wife, Lily Evans."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He's getting all mushy on us."

"Speaking of mushy," James reached into his bag, "my mum told me to take pictures of everything we do today, so who wants to be photographer?" He held the camera aloft, offering to whomever would take it.

Peter took it. "I can do it,"

"Thanks Wormtail." James stopped, looking at the piece of paper in his hand, then up at the storefront. "This is it." He stepped up and pushed the glass door in, ringing a bell as he did so. They walked in, looking around. The store was ancient looking, but cozy. There were leather armchairs in the corner, bolts of fabric sitting on all of the surfaces.

An old man hobbled out of the back and looked at them through his thick glasses. "Potter?"

James blinked. "Yes, I'm sorry, have we met?"

The man shook his head and motioned for him to come to the counter. James obliged. "Fleamont sent an owl, said you'd be in. Plus you're the spitting image of him." He looked up at him. "Except the hair. Don't know where you got that from."

James smiled awkwardly. "Nobody does."

The man stared at him, looking him up and down. "Your wedding?" James nodded. "Good." He disappeared to the back for a brief moment and returned, rolling out a rack with several sets of dress robes on it. "Seems everyone's getting married these days…" he lowered his voice, "guess they don't want to wait for…." he trailed off, looking through James. He snapped back and nodded once. "Ptolemy Twig."

James nodded. "It's nice to meet you, sir" He looked back at his friends. They all stood, looking around, avoiding the man's gaze. He motioned for James to step up on the small circular pedestal in front of three mirrors. He grabbed a set of dress robes and handed it to James, who held it up against his body. "This is nice," he said, not sure what he was looking for. Ptolemy stared at him again. James wondered why his father had sent them here; he made him uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to choose for you?" Ptolemy asked, obviously noticing James' ignorance about dress robes. James nodded, grateful. "I've known your father for years. I've made him countless sets of dress robes. I made the ones for his wedding, you know." He chuckled. "Never met a woman like his mother. I thought she'd blow up my store. Demanded that I-"

He stopped abruptly and turned to go to the back room. James lowered the hanger he was holding and looked back at his friends in confusion. Remus shrugged and Peter made a motion with his finger to indicate that the man was crazy. Sirius grabbed the camera and snapped a picture of James' bewildered face.

"Hey!"

Sirius grabbed the photo coming out of the bottom. "It's for Mia, Prongs; we have to document everything." James rolled his eyes.

James leaned forward to see if he could see what Ptolemy was doing. There was a crash and the flutter of papers. He came back, looking slightly more frazzled than before, clutching a roll of parchment in his left hand. "Demanded that I make him custom dress robes in a specific fabric, checked in on me every day for a week to make sure it was perfect." He shook his head.

"That's, neat," James said, hesitantly.

He held the papers up. "I still kept the pattern for those robes. They were perfect." He handed them to James. "If you like them I can remake them for your wedding."

James unrolled the parchment, looking at the sketch. He smiled, recognizing the dress robes he had seen in so many pictures around their house. "Thank you, sir, I would love that. But, I'm planning on getting married in only two weeks and-"

He waved him off. "I can do it."

"Are you sure? I don't want to put so much pressure on you," James said, looking down at the complicated pattern.

"If it's for Fleamont or his son, then I don't mind," he explained. He took the parchment from James and turned back to the rack. "You can step down."

James stepped off of the pedestal and stood off to the side. Ptolemy disappeared for another moment, coming back with a black, silken fabric. He looked at it in his hands, then looked at the rack. He held the fabric up to each one, studying them in great detail.

The four boys didn't know what to do, so they just watched in silence, afraid to ask questions. Eventually Ptolemy looked up and gestured for Sirius to come up. He handed him the hanger and pointed towards a room separated by a curtain. They stood quietly until he reemerged. Ptolemy stopped him, making him turn, hold out his arms, stand perfectly still. Peter snapped a photo, earning a glare from Sirius.

He nodded once then turned to James. "Yes?"

James, caught off guard, nodded. "Good, yeah, I like the uh, the black." Ptolemy ignored him, looking at Sirius again. He pulled out his wand and pointed it towards the seams. The suit began shrinking and expanding to fit Sirius perfectly.

He stepped back again and looked at his work. He turned back to the boys and pointed them toward the dressing room, handing them matching sets.

Lily sat on a perfectly white couch, lightly sipping champagne. She looked down at her glass, lightly clinking her nail against it. She wondered if they gave people champagne so they would be more likely to buy something on an impulse. She shrugged and plucked out the strawberry floating in the center and popped it in her mouth.

Alice emerged from the leftmost dressing room, pushing away the white shutters to reveal her maroon sheath gown. It had an intricate pattern on the bodice and a dip down to the small of Alice's back. "Do you like this one?"

Lily nodded. "It's pretty. Is it comfortable?"

"Yeah, I feel kind of weird with my whole back exposed, I can't really wear a bra, though," Alice explained, turning her back to the mirror and looking at it.

Marlene came out and looked at Alice's dress. "I like that one's shape, it looks easy to move around in." She stepped in front of the mirror. "What about this one?" Lily stood up and inspected the green satin dress. It had long, sheer sleeves that flowed around her arms. Its empire waist maid the bottom of the dress poof out slightly.

Lily touched the fabric, feeling it. "Do you like it?"

"It's supposed to be what you want, Lils," Alice said, laughing.

"I don't want you guys to be uncomfortable," she said, frowning at the dress Marlene wore. They'd been at it for an hour, and Lily hadn't particularly liked any of the dresses. She immediately vetoed any dress that had any sort of poofy sleeve, and found out that she did not like ball gowns.

Mary stepped out of her cubicle in a dark blue dress. It had a sweetheart neckline and ruching along the bodice. The material on the bottom flowed and Mary moved towards them easily.

"I like that one," Lily said. "Do you guys like that one?"

Marlene and Alice brought Mary to the mirror and started looking at the dress. "It's pretty, I like it a lot," Marlene said. "I like the color."

"Can you move around in it? Like dance and stuff, Mary?" Lily asked.

Mary swayed back and forth, causing the material to flow around her ankles without impeding her. "Yeah, it's nice. And it has a built in bra, so that's nice."

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She grabbed the back of the dress, pulling it out to see the clasp of bra strap coming from the sides of the dress.

Mary jumped and pulled away, laughing. "Alice! Jeez."

"I didn't think they could do that!" She protested.

Lily spotted a saleslady lurking in the corner and she turned to her. "Do you have more dresses like this one? I think I'll have the other two try it on as well." The saleslady nodded and scurried off to the back room of the store. She looked at her watch and reached in her purse, feeling the two-way mirror James had given her before they parted.

Alice and Marlene tried on the dress and the four girls decided to get it. Lily felt relieved; that was one more thing they could cross off of the list. After explaining that they would handle their own alterations they left, garment bags in hand.

Once they were out of the shop Lily reached into her bag and pulled out the mirror, pretending to check her makeup. "James!" She said quietly into it.

James' face appeared. "Hello love."

"Where are you?" She asked.

"We're at a pub near the florist's. Are you all done?"

Lily nodded. "We'll meet you at the florist's." She heard some noise in the background and groaned internally. "Sirius isn't drunk, is he?"

James looked behind him at a scene Lily couldn't see. He turned back. "Not yet. We'll leave now." She put the mirror back in her purse and they walked faster; Lily leading them to the flower shop.

They arrived at the shop several minutes later, and the four boys were leaning against the wall outside. Sirius waved. "You know, Lily, I'm rubbish at picking out flowers, I think I'll just go back to that pub and you all can pick me up after-" James grabbed the back of his jacket and directed him through the door. The shop was small, with windows on two sides. The early Autumn sun streamed in, illuminating some of the flowers. The flowers were bursting from every corner of the place, in crates, in bouquets, in vases. The bright colors jumping out at her almost made Lily feel overwhelmed.

The florist looked alarmed at the eight teenagers now crowding into her shop. James and Lily went up to the counter while everyone else pretended to look interested in the bouquets around the shop. Lily leaned on the counter and smiled. "Hi, would you be able to make four bouquets and four boutonnieres within in two weeks?"

The florist stared at her. She stuttered. "I mean, theoretically. I guess I could, it would just be a lot of work, and," she looked down at her hands and trailed off.

"Money isn't an issue," James said. "We can pay extra since it's such short notice."

The florist looked back up, smiling. "What kind of flowers would you like in your bouquets, dear?" She asked Lily, pulling out a small notepad. James noted the change in her demeanor as soon as he mentioned money.

"Sunflowers," James said before Lily could respond. The florist raised her eyebrows. He smiled. "Sorry, sunflowers, right Lily?"

She reached down and held his hand, thinking back to their time at Hogwarts when they were still denying their feelings for each other. She nodded. "Yes, sunflowers."

The florist wrote down _sunflowers_ in a small font on the notepad, then turned away from them. She went to the other side of the store and grabbed a couple of sunflowers. She grouped them into a bunch and looked at them for a moment. She brought them back to the counter and held them up. "And what flowers would you like to compliment them?"

Lily and James looked at each other. They didn't realize bouquets needed other flowers. Lily spoke up. "What flowers compliment them?" She laughed awkwardly. "What do you think would look nice?"

The florist looked down at the flowers in her hand for a moment then looked back up. "Give me a moment." She moved back out into the store and looked around. She made her way towards a crate filled to the brim with white roses. She grabbed a couple and stuck them in between the three sunflowers. She studied it for a moment, then nodded. She looked around the shop again and moved towards the back. She grabbed some baby's breath and arranged them with the others.

She brought it back to the counter and messed with it for a moment more before presenting it to Lily. It was gorgeous. The bright yellow stood out against the stark white of the roses, making a beautiful display. She reached out for it and the florist let her hold it. She held it in front of her and looked down at it, beaming.

"You know, sunflowers symbolize adoration and dedication," the florist said, "They're symbolic of dedicated love."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all bursted out laughing, earning glares from the girls. Peter spoke through wheezes. "That's perfect, Prongs. You've been nothing but dedicated since third year." James scowled and mouthed a profanity at him.

Remus grinned at James. "It's true, James, sometimes a little _too_ dedicated, but dedicated nonetheless."

The florist nodded along, obviously confused at the situation. Lily shrugged and handed the flowers back to her. She turned back to the girls. "What do you guys think? Do you like it?" They all came to stand next to her and nodded.

Marlene reached out and touched the sunflower's petals. "And you have to admit, it is pretty perfect." Lily grinned and leaned against James.

"I can do small sunflowers for the men's boutonnieres," the florist said, setting down the bouquet and writing more on her notepad. "How would you like the bouquets bound?"

Lily thought for a moment, then grabbed Marlene's dress bag. She unzipped it slightly and pulled out some of the fabric. "Do you have anything that would match this?" The florist looked at it, then disappeared under the counter.

She came back up with a thick ribbon that was almost the same color and wrapped it around the stems of the bouquet. She held it up to Lily. "Something like this?"

"Yes, that's perfect, thank you so much," Lily said, handing the dress bag back to Marlene. She reached out and held the bouquet, making sure to pinch the ribbon so it wouldn't come undone.

"Lils, look here," Peter said. Lily looked up and saw Peter pointing a camera at her. She smiled and held up the bouquet. The flash went off and Peter pulled the picture out of the bottom. He quickly tucked it away so the florist wouldn't see that it was moving.

"Do you need anything else, dear?" The florist asked. Lily looked at James who shook his head. "Wonderful. I'll just need half of the payment now, and then the rest when it's completed." She pulled out a couple of papers. "And if you'll write down your telephone number and sign here," she said, indicating a line at the bottom of the page.

Lily briefly read the page, understanding that it was just making her accountable for the money they owed her. She signed it and they discussed the price. The florist took the papers and set the flowers on the counter behind her. "Congratulations dears, I'll be in touch once they're finished."

Lily and James nodded and they headed outside, followed by the rest of their party. Lily looked around. "Do we need to do anything else?" She asked.

"I can't think of anything," he said. "Are you ready to go back to my parents?"

Lily nodded. "Let's find somewhere secluded where we can apparate." She turned down a side street and the rest followed her. Unfortunately London was crowded everywhere and it took them awhile to find somewhere. They wandered for a while, getting far away from the hustle and bustle of downtown.

They eventually came upon an old courtyard, tucked behind an abandoned building, probably once a hotel. There was an old stone fountain, cracked in places, but still holding water. Some fallen leaves were scattered across the pool's surface. James turned back to them. "Ready?"

Mary stopped them. "Wait!" They all looked at her. "This is the perfect place for a picture."

Lily looked around, laughing. "It's just an old fountain."

James grabbed her hand and spun her around her. "My mum wants as many pictures as possible." He put his hand on her waist and kissed her. She smiled and he swayed back and forth, dancing with her. Mary grabbed the camera from Peter and snapped a photo.

Lily laughed and kissed James, holding onto him. They parted and Lily looked at the photo Mary handed her. She loved it. In the photo they kissed once and James turned them around. Lily's long hair whipped around her, moving in the wind under her black hat. James' hair was a mess, but he looked at Lily with such a genuine smile she didn't even notice.

"That's a cute picture, Lils," Alice said, looking over her shoulder. Lily smiled and tucked the photo into her pocket, hoping Euphemia would let her keep it.

They all paired up and apparated to the road near the Potter Estate and walked from there.

A couple of hours later, after Euphemia had helped the girls fit their dresses with magic, and they had discussed plans for where and when the wedding would be, Lily sat on the couch with James' head in her lap, absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair. She stared off into the distance, distracted.

Rose came down the steps and into the living room. "Lily?" Lily looked up and James brought his head out her lap. "Euphemia wants to see you."

Lily nodded and followed her upstairs, finally knowing where she was going after a year of coming around. She knocked softly on the door and she and Rose entered Euphemia's room.

A white dress was laid out on the bed, and Euphemia was looking at it. Lily came up behind her. "What is this?"

Euphemia turned around and grabbed Lily by the shoulders, steering her towards the bed. "I thought, maybe, if you were interested, you could wear my wedding dress."

Lily looked at her, astonished. "Really?"

Euphemia nodded. "Yes, Rose told me that your sister wore her dress, and I thought with the wedding so near, it would be hard to find a dress and I thought you might like to wear mine."

Lily stepped towards the dress and picked up part of the material, feeling it. It felt unlike anything she had ever worn. It was soft and slipped through her fingers easily. She looked at the dress. It had flowing sleeves and a V neckline, with intricate beading along the entire dress, forming tiny vines along the fabric. The waist cinched at the middle then flowed out to form the skirt. She looked at Euphemia. "Can I try it on?"

Euphemia clapped her hands together and made an excited noise. "Yes, yes of course!" She picked up the dress and gave it to her. Euphemia crossed the room and opened a door, revealing a large closet. "Here, Lily, you can put it on in here. Let me know if you need help."

Lily stepped in and pulled off her sweater and pants. She pulled the dress off of the hanger and felt it for a moment before stepping into it. She pulled it up over her hips and slipped her arms into the sleeves. She turned to look at herself in the mirror and the material swirled around her feet. It was too long, as Euphemia was much taller than her, but it still looked beautiful nonetheless.

Lily beamed at her reflection. She moved carefully towards the door, holding the material above her feet. She stepped out and both women gasped. She dropped the material and turned for them.

"Do you like it?" Euphemia asked.

Lily nodded. "I love it. I think my mum does too," she said, nodding towards Rose.

Rose laughed and tried to wipe her tears away. "You look so beautiful, Lily."

"It's a bit big though, hold on, dear." Euphemia picked up her wand from its place on their nightstand and turned back to face Lily. She stared at her for a moment, then kneeled down near Lily's feet. She pointed her wand at the hem and began muttering spells. The dress began to shorten, coming up to where you could just see Lily's bare feet. "How is that hem?"

Lily moved back and forth, able to stick her feet out without tripping. "That's a good length, thank you." Euphemia nodded and moved to the waist. She moved along the dress, the fabric pulling in and knitting itself back together as she traced her wand across the seams.

A few moments later Euphemia's dress fit Lily like it was made for her. She turned back to face the mirror and beamed. She looked at Rose's reflection in the mirror and saw her crying. Lily smiled at her. Rose came forward and wrapped her arms around Lily, resting her chin on her shoulder. "You are so beautiful, sweetie. I'm so proud of the woman you've become."

Lily laughed. "Mum, stop, you're going to make me cry too!"

Euphemia came over and hugged Lily too. "I'm proud of you too, Lily. I am so glad James found you. Never in a million years would he find anyone better."

Lily leaned her head back against them both, sighing deeply. "Thank you both," she looked down at the dress. "Now I have something borrowed, I just need something old, new, and blue." Rose nodded.

Euphemia stepped back, confused. "What?"

"It's a Muggle tradition, every bride needs something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue," Rose explained as Lily swayed in the mirror. Rose watched her for a moment. "I have grandmother's hair comb, Lily. She wore it to her wedding. That can be your something old, if you'd like."

Lily turned back, excited. "Yes, I would love that." She reached out to hug her mother. "Petunia and I used to play with those when we would play bride," she said sadly. "I'm surprised you didn't give them to Petunia."

Rose stroked Lily's hair as she embraced her. "Grandmother specifically said that she wanted you to have them." Lily smiled into her mother's shoulder. Grandmother never did like Petunia.

She pulled away. "My bouquet has blue ribbon, so I just need something new."

Euphemia smiled. "I think I'll be able to find something for that," she said.

There was a knock at the door. "Lils? Are you in there?" James' voice called out to them.

Lily gasped and Rose ushered her into the closet. Euphemia, who had crossed the room to let James in looked at them both in confusion. "What are you doing?" She opened the door and James stepped in carefully.

Lily poked her head out from behind the door, only revealing her neck. "It's bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding!"

James shook his head and Euphemia laughed. "You Muggles do have some weird traditions," she said.

"Well, when I'm allowed to see you again, dinner is ready," James said, leaving and closing the door behind him.

Lily stepped back in front of the mirror. "You both go ahead. I just want another couple of minutes." Euphemia and Rose shared a knowing look before leaving.

Lily stared at her reflection, watching how the light bounced off of the fabric. She beamed. In two weeks she would be married to James Potter.


	45. Alright Potter?

Lily woke up, hearing a soft knock on her door. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and attempting to comb down her messy hair. "Yeah?"

Her mum walked in, carrying a tray with waffles, strawberries, orange juice, and a small sunflower in a vase. "Are you ready for breakfast?"

Lily beamed and took the tray from her. She picked up the fork and dived in, spreading syrup over her plate. She wiggled excitedly. "I'm getting married today!"

Her mother sat on the end of her bed and patted her legs under the comforter. "Are you excited?" Lily nodded, her mouth full of waffle. She had been sleeping back at her old house for the past two weeks, separated from James except for when they occasionally met up at the Potters' house to make arrangements.

She missed him, but Rose insisted. Another Muggle tradition that baffled Euphemia and James. Lily thought it was silly, but she did admit it would make it more special when they finally got to see each other today, this time at the altar. That made her grin and wiggle again. She'd see James at the altar today.

Rose watched her, smiling. "So what's the plan?"

"We're going to hang out here for a while, and then we'll head over to the Potters' house around noon and meet the girls and start getting ready. Euphemia says she's converted one of the old rooms so we can get everyone ready in one place," Lily explained between bites of strawberries. "Though we have," she checked her clock, "three hours, what do we do until then?"

"Well, in your last few hours as an unmarried woman, what do you want to do?" She asked, moving up so she could stroke Lily's hair.

"Shower first," Lily said. She looked out her window and saw the Snapes' house and frowned. She wondered what Severus was up to these days, where he was living. Then she looked back in her room and saw her Grandmother's decorative hair comb glittering on her desk. "I always thought Petunia and I would be together, talking, you know…" she trailed off, looking down sadly.

Rose sighed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Do you want to call her? Maybe she'd come over."

Lily shrugged. "I'd doubt she'd want to. Can't 'abandon her duties at home'," she said, using air quotations to reference what Petunia said to her at the beginning of the summer.

Rose stood up and took the empty tray from Lily. "Why don't you call her? It can't hurt. The worst she can say is no."

Lily nodded and pulled back her comforter. She stood up and followed her mother down to the kitchen. She sat on the counter and picked up the receiver of the cream colored phone. She stared at the circular dial for a long moment before sighing and moving her finger down to pull the plastic ring to the numbers.

She listened to it ring twice, convincing herself not to hang up. Vernon's voice boomed into the phone and she groaned internally. "Hello?"

"Hello, I was hoping to talk to Petunia?" she asked timidly.

There was a moment of silence. "Who is this?"

"Uh, it's Lily."

"Lily who?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Lily Evans, Petunia's sister."

"Oh." Lily listened intently as he heard a muffled voice in the background. She assumed he covered the receiver with his pudgy hand to ask Petunia if she actually wanted to talk to her.

Eventually she heard Petunia's high pitched voice. "Lily? What do you want?" Lily sighed a breath of relief. "Well?"

"Hi, Petunia, I uh, well I was calling- I don't know if Mum told you- but I'm getting married today, I know you don't want to come to the wedding, but I thought maybe, you could come over and we could see each other for a little while, before I have to leave?" she said rapidly, her words tripping over themselves to get out as quickly as possible.

There was a long moment of silence and Lily waited with baited breath. "No, I don't think so, Lily, I'm far too busy today and I just don't think I can make it all the way out to Cokeworth."

Lily's heart sank. She nodded, before realizing Petunia couldn't see her. "Right, I understand I just thought you might want to talk for a little while," she said.

"Well, I have to go, good-"

"Wait!" She listened for a moment to make sure Petunia hadn't hung up on her. "Do you remember when we were little kids? And we would play in the attic with Mum's old veil? And Grandmother's combs?" She laughed, nostalgic. "And you'd always make me be the groom."

"Yes, I remember," Petunia said. Her tone had changed, though, it was softer, sounding almost sentimental.

"And remember, we would go pick daisies down by the park? And we'd make a ring out of the stems, and necklaces? Then we'd get bored and go play in the stream and get all messy and Mum would scold us, but Dad would wink at us and give those little chocolates. We loved those. Do you remember what they were?"

"The walnut whips," Petunia said quietly. "The caramel stuck to our teeth, and we'd have to clean it off before Mum saw us."

Lily smiled. The old Petunia was there; she thought she'd never see her again. "I wish he was here. I wish he could have walked us down the aisle."

"Me too," Petunia said, her voice breaking slightly.

"Tunie-" Lily started.

"I'm sorry Lily, I really am afraid I have to go."

Lily frowned again. "Well, okay. I live in London now though, maybe we could meet up, get dinner or something...just the two of us."

"Maybe," she said. "Goodbye, Lily." There was a long pause. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. I love you, Petunia," Lily said. She heard the click and the dial tone ring in her ear. She sighed and set the phone back on the base. Rose looked at her. She shrugged. "I tried." She took a deep breath and jumped off of the counter. "I'm going to go take a shower. I'll be back." Rose nodded and Lily left the kitchen, quickly wiping away slight tears.

Lily and Rose flooed over to the Potter Estate and stepped out into the living room. Marlene, Mary, and Alice were already seated on the couch, talking with Euphemia.

"Lily?" James' voice came from the kitchen and he started out into the hallway. Alice jumped up and pushed him back into the kitchen. "Hey!" he said as Alice shut the door in his face.

She held the door knob as James tried pushing against it. "Lily and Rose say it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride the day of the wedding, so you aren't seeing her until she's walking down the aisle," she said against the door.

James shook his head. Muggles were weird. "Well tell her I love her and I'm excited to see her!" he said to the door, feeling ridiculous.

Lily crossed the room and leaned against the door. "James?"

"Lily?"

"I love you too! I can't wait to marry you," she said, pressing her palm against the door. "We're going to be upstairs with Euphemia, so you have to stay down here with the boys and your dad."

James laughed. "Isn't this a bit ridiculous? I've barely seen you, and now I have to avoid you all day?"

"It'll be worth it, James, I promise," Alice said. "Now go away!" James relinquished his hold on the door knob and went back to his lunch. He shrugged at his friends staring at him.

Euphemia took Lily's hand. "Ready?" She nodded excitedly.

They ascended the staircase and went down a hallway Lily had never seen before. Euphemia opened a door on the right and lead them in. Lily looked around, astonished. Euphemia had hung all of their dresses on a rack, displaying them. She had gotten vanities for each one of the girls and had a plush couch in the corner. Off to the side she had a silver tray with a pitcher full of chilled water, and a bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Two houselves stood near it, ready to fetch anything Lily might need.

Lily stepped in and sat down at the vanity, running her hand over the brushes and makeup sets she saw in front of her. "Euphemia, this is incredible! You didn't have to do this," she said.

Euphemia shook her head. "Don't be silly, you're the bride of our only son. We had to do everything," she said.

Lily stood up and hugged her. "Thank you."

"Do you need anything? Water? Food? A pep talk?" Euphemia asked, starting to pour a glass of water already.

"My mum already made us lunch, and I don't need a pep talk, thank you," Lily said. "I can't wait to marry James. I've never been happier." Mary grabbed Lily's hand and sat her down. She picked up a brush and started working on her hair, pulling it through gently.

Rose and Euphemia came to sit down next to her. "I remember when I married you father," Rose said, taking Lily's hand, "And I couldn't sleep the night before, I was so excited. Your aunt was my maid of honor and she was running around all day, making sure everything was absolutely perfect." She smiled. "Though I remember thinking that I didn't care if it was perfect or if it was a complete disaster. As long as your father and I were married at the end of it, it didn't matter what happened during it." She started to tear up and Lily looked at her sadly. "I heard you talking this morning. I remember how much he spoiled you both. He was always going behind my back." She laughed. "We used to fight and I would say that he was always sending you two mixed signals."

She looked at Lily and ran her hand along her her cheek. "He would have been so proud of you, you know. He would have told me I was being silly for telling you not to join up with Dumbledore." She shook her head, trying to wipe away her tears. "He would have told you to give them hell."

Lily, also tearing up, started laughing. That did sound like her dad. Rose continued, "Oh and he would have loved James. He would have loved him. He probably would have wanted to see his broom, he'd have wanted to come over here and see the house elves and everything-" her voice broke and she looked down at her hands. Lily leaned over to hug her.

"Rose, stop! Lily isn't supposed to be crying on her wedding day!" Mary said, laughing.

Rose looked up, also laughing and wiping her tears away with a tissue Euphemia had handed her. "You're right; this is your day, Lily. I'm sure he's watching from wherever he is and thinking about how beautiful you are."

Lily nodded and kept holding her hand. Mary pulled Lily's shoulders back and made her face the mirror. She kept brushing her hair and started working it into a braid.

James stood in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection. He reached up and messed with his bow tie some more, trying to straighten it. His dad came up behind him and grabbed James' shoulders. He turned James to face him and fixed his bowtie. "You know, James, you're going to have to learn how to tie one of these eventually," he said, teasingly.

James rolled his eyes. "Well, you'll always be around to do it for me," he said back.

Fleamont finished tying it and stepped back, looking at James. "I'm proud of you, James. I really am."

James turned back to face his reflection, much more satisfied now. He laughed. "For getting a girl that's way out of my league?"

Fleamont shook his head. "No, for everything you've done. The man you've become."

"Dad, come on-"

"I'm serious, James," Fleamont said, looking James in the eye. "You've matured so much the past few years. You've stepped up and become such a passionate, brave man. I love you."

James smiled a lopsided grin at his dad's reflection in the mirror. "I love you too, Dad."

There was a soft knock on the door and they both turned to see Sirius peeking his head into the room with Remus and Peter behind him. "Are you ready, Prongs?" James looked back at his reflection one more time, took a deep breath and nodded. Fleamont lead the way and James followed behind him.

They walked into the living room and Fleamont went ahead to the back yard where they had set up chairs and an altar. James looked out the window and saw his friends from Hogwarts, McGonagall, some people from the Order, and family friends. Peter opened the door and walked out first, Remus and Sirius following behind in a single file. James stepped out too, and they walked to the altar.

James beamed at the people he saw, and winked at McGonagall. She _tsk_ ed and shook her head, though he could tell she was hiding a smile. He took his place at the altar and smiled at Dumbledore, who had agreed to officiate them, then turned back to face the house. He saw Marlene open the door and emerge in her blue dress, holding a small bouquet of sunflowers. She smiled when she saw him and he grinned back at her. Following her was Mary and Alice, who had both done their hair in sweeping updos.

They all reached the altar and suddenly everyone rose and turned back to face the house. Lily emerged and James' breath was taken away.

Her hair shimmered in the late autumn sun, giving her a golden halo and illuminating her smiling face. Her dress shone and sparkled as she moved down the aisle. Her large bouquet of sunflowers and roses stood out brightly against the white of her dress. She looked gorgeous. James stared at her in awe, unable to believe that this moment was truly happening. He started to tear up, small droplets welling in the corners of his eyes. He tried to quickly wipe them away, but Sirius saw and patted him on the back. He laughed quietly and looked back up.

Lily had reached him and she moved to stand opposite him. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she whispered back.

They turned to face Dumbledore and he spoke. "Both James and Lily have prepared their own vows, but before they begin, I would like to say a few words about our happy couple." He cleared his throat and continued. "I have seen both Lily and James grow into fine young adults. I remember the day they were sorted, their young, hopeful faces, excited to begin their education. I knew they both would be talented, but not even I could predict the level to which both of them have risen. They have astounded me beyond belief with their bravery, their dedication, and their love, for both each other and their friends." There was a quiet 'aw' from the audience and James blushed.

"There have been countless times where someone else might have given up where Lily and James persisted. Even more times when they exemplified more bravery than Godric Gryffindor himself. In the darkest of times, these two were the shining light that guided many others. They have both risked their safety and their very lives in order to do what was right. Their love is strong enough to overcome any circumstance or struggle that may come their way."

Lily stared at Dumbledore, tears in her eyes. She never would have dreamed that Dumbledore would have such beautiful words to say about them. He smiled at her and his eyes twinkled behind his half-moon spectacles. He turned to James. "James, would you like to begin?"

He nodded, wiping tears from his eyes as well. He turned to face Lily and reached out for her hands. They felt so small and delicate in his. He looked into her emerald eyes and grinned at her before he began. "Lily, I remember the first time I saw you. Your hair was in braids, and your robes were way too long for you. You were talking to some other first year outside the Great Hall and you had such an air of confidence, as if you were going to walk in that room and know everything their was to know about magic. But when I looked down, I saw you fiddling with your sleeve cuff and tapping your foot and I thought 'maybe she's just as nervous as we are'."

She nodded, which earned a quiet laugh from the audience. "When we were sorted into Gryffindor, you introduced yourself and shook my hand, and I thought I might faint. For the rest of the year and for years after that, I thought you were the most perfect person I had ever met. You were smart, beautiful, witty, strong, brave; everything you did made you seem like this incredible superhuman who could do anything she set her mind to. I put you on a pedestal so high I couldn't even see you." He laughed. "And it made me a right prat every time I got around you. It was a miracle you didn't feed me to the giant squid you were always saying you'd go out with."

Rose leaned over to Euphemia. "There's a _giant squid_? At a school for _children_?" She asked incredulously. Euphemia merely smiled and patted her arm.

"Then, we started to become friends, and I realized I was wrong. You weren't a superhuman. You cried, you were vulnerable, you were afraid sometimes, and it made me realize that you were even more than I imagined. You were braver because you could face things even when you were afraid. You were smarter because you worked for it. You were stronger because sometimes you felt weak. You were more beautiful because I could finally see the real you. Everyday I see more of you and everyday learn to love you in new ways. I love you more than I could love anyone, and I promise that I will be by your side this day, to my last day."

Lily stared into his hazel eyes, tears trailing down her face. She sniffed and laughed, wiping them away. "James, how can I follow that?" she asked. James and everyone else laughed. She grabbed James' hands once more and spoke up. "I think the theme of the day is reflecting on the past."

People chuckled.

"And that's probably because of the complicated past we share. We have been through so much together, and never, in my wildest dreams, would I have imagined that I would have gone through everything we've seen, let alone with James Potter by my side. When we were kids I remember I thought you were the most annoying, self-centered, egotistical-"

"Okay, Lily, I get it," James said, jokingly. Sirius snorted behind him.

She smiled. "But as you said, first impressions can be wrong. Yes, you were a crazy teenage boy, and yes you gave me good reason to be annoyed, but I never saw beyond the exterior because I never tried. I never wanted to think that James Potter would have more than one dimension to him. But as we grew up, and as we started to become friends, I realized you were this amazing man. You sacrificed so much to make sure your friends were happy, you dedicated yourself wholeheartedly to everything you attempted, and you were so passionate about so many things, that I was always left wondering how I had never seen this side of you before. You made me fall in love with you without me even realizing it. And you were so patient and understanding with me during the times that I tried to _deny_ that I was falling in love with you."

James raised his eyebrows and she laughed. "Everyday you surprise me with how much you care about me, our friends, our families, and everyone's happiness. You are the least self-centered person I have ever met, and I can't believe how blind I was to that before. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone, let alone my best friend. I love you so much, James. I want to grow old with you and reminisce on these days. I want to spend every day with you for the rest of my life, and I want to fall even more in love with you."

It was James' turn to wipe tears from his eyes. He turned back to face Dumbledore, who was smiling at the pair of them. He unrolled a ribbon and delicately wrapped it around James and Lily's joined hands. "Now that these two have proclaimed their love for each other in front of their family and friends, I now will join them in the everlasting bond of matrimony." He tied it and let go of their hands. "Kiss, and you two will become one."

James leaned in and cupped Lily's jaw with his free hand. Their lips met and James knew he would never feel happier than this moment. Lily kissed him back and had to keep herself from smiling against his lips.

They broke apart and everyone applauded. Lily and James turned to face the crowd and beamed at everyone before they started to make their way back down the aisle towards the house. McGonagall pulled out her wand and pointed it towards the sky, sending out a cascade of rose petals onto them as they passed.

They made their way back into the house and Lily looked up at James. "You have flowers in your hair," she said, reaching up to grab them.

"So do you," he said. She laughed and shook her head, causing them to fall on the ground, where they promptly disappeared. He pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

James put his hand over Lily's as they both gripped the knife. They plunged it into the cake and sliced a large piece and dropped it onto a plate. James took one of the forks and delicately lifted a small piece to Lily's mouth. She took it, and then reached down to grab a fork too. Instead, though, she grabbed a fistful of the cake and smashed it against James' mouth, spreading frosting and cake all over his chin.

He grinned and a piece of cake fell back onto the plate. The people watching laughed, and he licked his lips to get some of the white frosting off of his face. "Not fair," he said.

"They told us to feed each other a bite of cake, they never said how," she pointed out.

James rolled his eyes and set the plate down, then, in a quick motion, grabbed Lily and kissed her, spreading frosting and cake all over her face too. She laughed and struggled to push him away as he rubbed his frosting coated mouth onto hers.

She pushed him away and smiled at him through a mouthful of frosting. Euphemia handed them both a napkin and they wiped their faces. James turned to the crowd of people behind them. "If anyone wants cake, there's plenty on the floor now," he said, grinning. He grabbed Lily's hand and lead her away from the table piled high with desserts and their three-tiered white wedding cake. The plates from the dinner were being cleared and people were slowly dancing in the large, cleared space, while others watched from their tables. The Great Room had been decorated and filled with tables and food for the reception. James and Lily had been making the rounds, saying hello to everyone who had come.

Marlene and Dorcas came over, arm in arm. Dorcas was wearing a slim, black suit and had her many braids pulled into an intricate bun at the top of her head. She smiled at them both. "That was a lovely ceremony. Both of your vows were so beautiful."

"Thanks, Dorcas," Lily said. "Though we were both crying the whole time," she said.

"Love is a powerful emotion," she said, quietly, pulling Marlene closer. Lily beamed at the pair of them. James winked at Marlene and she scowled back at him.

"Did you see Mary's date, Lily?" Marlene asked. "He's a Quidditch player!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "I hadn't, where is he?" She followed Marlene and Dorcas to the other side of the room.

James used this moment to slip away, as he spotted McGonagall and Moody chatting quietly in the corner. He reached their table and held out his hand. "Care to dance, Minnie?" He asked.

She laughed lightly. "Of course, Potter. Though you may not call me Minnie. I may not be your professor any more, but you will always be my student."

"Alright, Min," he replied, cheekily. She pursed her lips at him but let him lead her to the dance floor nonetheless. She put a hand on his shoulder and they waltzed around the room.

"Your vows were lovely, Potter. I will admit I did tear up a tiny bit," she said, smiling at him.

"Was that because of my vows, or because you're finally realizing that we can never be together, my love?" He asked, grinning.

She swatted his arm lightly. "You and Mr. Black think you both are so clever."

James looked serious. "Trust me, Professor, we _know_ we're clever."

She laughed and shook her head at him. "You all have become such fine young men. I thought you would never grow out of your pranking and tomfoolery. But here we stand, at your wedding, to Lily Evans no less," she said.

"I know, I think I believe it even less than you, Professor," James said. "It's crazy to think back on how much has changed the past few years. I don't think I'd recognize myself if fifth year me saw where I was now."

"I don't believe I would either," McGonagall admitted.

They danced for several more minutes to the slow tune the violinist was playing until James felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Sirius smiling at him. "Mind if I cut in?" he asked.

James dropped McGonagall's hand. "By all means," he said. Sirius took McGonagall's hand and twirled her away, causing her to gasp. He spotted Lily across the room, chatting with Mary and her date.

He came up behind them and slipped his arm around Lily's waist. She leaned her head against him. "James, this is Darren, he plays on the Irish Quidditch team," she explained. James held out his hand and looked him up and down. He was tall, muscular, but lean. He had red hair and deep hazel eyes.

They shook hands and Darren smiled at him. "This is a lovely wedding," he said politely.

"Thank you, I'm glad you could make it," he smiled, "how long have you and Mary been dating?"

Both Mary and he looked at each other for a moment. "I think about a month," Mary said. "We met at a bar in London," she explained.

"The team and I were out for a post-match drink, and I spent the whole night staring at her before I finally worked up the courage to talk to her," he said, smiling at her.

"I don't know why an international Quidditch star thought he needed to be nervous to talk to me," Mary said, laughing. Darren shrugged and kissed the top of her head. Lily gave her a subtle thumbs up and Mary rolled her eyes.

Lily spotted her mother being cornered by Mad-Eye across the room. She nodded towards their direction and James followed her gaze. Lily turned to hug Mary, then Marlene. "Thank you so much for being in my wedding, and being my best friends," she said, "I love you both so much." They both expressed their love as well and told her how beautiful she looked.

She broke apart and she and James headed for Rose, who looked uncomfortable. Mad-Eye was deep in the middle of a story when the pair joined Rose at her side.

"See this?" He jammed a pudgy finger into a deep cut on the left side of his face. "Got this from a bloke who was selling cursed necklaces. Made people do all sorts of crazy things before I found him. He sent some curse at me and this-" he jabbed his cut- "chunk of skin flew out. I saw it. It hit the floor, spurting blood like a fountain. I got him though. He's locked in Azkaban now, not getting out for a while, that's for sure."

Rose looked at him, stunned. "That's…." she paused, struggling to find the word, "unfortunate." Mad-Eye nodded.

James cleared his throat. "It's good to see you, Moody."

Mad-Eye clapped his large hand on James' shoulder, making his knees buckle slightly. "You too, boy. Good to see you, Lily," he said, nodding at Lily.

"You too, Moody. Thank you for coming," she said.

He nodded once. "Right. Well, enjoy your night. I better get going." His glass eye rolled wildly in its socket for a moment. "Remember, constant vigilance," he said quietly to them. He limped off, clutching his gnarled, wooden walking stick with an equally gnarled hand.

Rose looked pale. James patted her shoulder. "He takes some getting used to," he said. She nodded, still staring after him.

She shook her head as if she was clearing it and turned to face them both. "How is the happy couple?" She asked, beaming at them.

"Happy," Lily said, grinning ear to ear.

Alice and Frank came up behind them and Alice hugged Lily from behind. Lily laughed and held Alice's hands as they came together around her waist. "We're leaving now, I wanted to say goodbye."

Lily turned around and hugged her properly. "Thank you for being here, I am so lucky to have you as a friend."

Alice laughed and squeezed her tighter before letting her go. Frank also leaned over and hugged her. They said goodbye to more people, embracing them all and thanking them.

James looked around and saw how empty the room had become. He wrapped his arms around Lily's waist. "Looks like everyone is heading out."

She turned to face him. "Yes, it's already midnight, can you believe that?"

He shook his head and grabbed her hand. "One last dance?" He asked.

She nodded and followed him out to the center of the floor. The few remaining people turned to watch, smiling at the pair of them. James put his hand on the small of her back and they began waltzing. They moved easily and he looked down at her, impressed. "You've gotten better at this," he commented.

She smiled mischievously. "Fleamont has been helping me practice."

James shook his head. "Why do you have more secrets with my dad than you do with me?"

Lily laughed. "I guess that's our little secret."

He scowled but pulled her in closer. They danced for several more minutes, just lightly swaying to the music now. Lily had leaned her head against his chest and she could feel his heart beating. He spoke up. "Hey, Lils?"

She picked her head up off his chest and looked at him. "Yeah?"

He grinned. "Alright, Potter?"


	46. Something Extra Special

Lily stared down into her bubbling cauldron, watching the curls of steam rise around her. She sat back on her stool and looked out the window. The pale winter afternoon sun was streaming in through the dusty panes, illuminating the wooden tables around her. She had been working as an apprentice under Tobias, the man she met at Slughorn's parties for a few months now.

She looked down at her watch and noted the time. She used her wand to extinguish the blue flames licking at her cauldron, and she moved it to the side to cool. After a few moments she ladeled the solution into a vial and labeled it:

 _Wolfsbane Test Solution Seven: 23/12/1978_

She stoppered it and set it on the shelf next to her previous attempts. She sat back down on her stool and wrote a few notes in her notebook before she was interrupted by the noise of the door opening. Tobias, potions master and her boss came in, looking surprised to see her there.

"Lily, I would have thought you would have gone home already! It is almost Christmas, you know," he said, smiling at her.

She closed her notebook and nodded. "Yes sir, I was just about to leave." She indicated the new vial on the shelf, "I just finished a new brew, it's the one to the right there."

He picked it up and examined it. "Excellent work. I look forward to testing this one. The full moon isn't for another couple of weeks though, so I won't be able to test it until then. I will let you know when I have some results. Until then, you can take your Christmas holiday. I don't think I will be needing any help around here for a while. I'm going to be leaving later today myself, actually."

"Do you have a fun holiday planned, sir?" Lily asked, packing things into her bag.

"The missus and I are going to Switzerland for a week. It's lovely this time of year," he explained. "Do you?"

"I'm sure it is beautiful. I bet the snow covered Alps are a sight to see." She reached up to release her hair from its tight bun. "I don't have much planned. It's mine and James' first holiday in our flat, so we thought we might have a small Christmas celebration."

Tobias beamed at her. "That sounds wonderful." He clapped his hands together. "Well, off you trot, I don't want to keep you anymore." He stepped out of the way of the door and Lily passed him. "Enjoy your holiday."

"You too, sir."

Lily stepped out into the busy London street, pulling her coat tighter around her. The wind was frigid. She starting walking, weaving in and out of the hoards of people trying to get their last minute shopping in. She bumped into shining red packages and darted around kids running past their parents. She kept her head down but her eyes were alert for any sign of trouble.

 _Can't be too careful these days_ , she thought.

She walked faster, coming up on their building. She let herself in and ascended the staircase to their flat. She unlocked the door and stepped in, relishing in the heat of the small kitchen. She took off her coat and scarf and turned towards the living room. Sirius was laying on their couch looking at a magazine.

She scoffed. "You do realize you have your own flat, Sirius?"

He held up one of the scones Lily had baked a couple of days before and spoke through a mouthful of bread. "Remus isn't as good as a cook as you, baby."

Lily rolled her eyes. She picked up Sirius' feet and sat down on the couch. He slid his feet back into her lap and kept eating his scone. "Where's James?"

"Order stuff."

Lily pursed her lips. He hadn't been home since last evening and she didn't like when she was kept out of the loop. Unlike her, James was unemployed so he could devote all of his time to running missions even when she couldn't come along.

"What are you cooking for Christmas dinner?" Sirius asked.

"Who says you're invited for Christmas?" Lily replied teasingly.

Sirius pretended to look hurt. "But Lily, I thought we were family! You would have me _starve_? On _Christmas?_ "

"Why can't you cook your own Christmas dinner?"

Sirius looked abashed. "I don't know how to use a stove." He looked even more embarrassed. "And Remus banned me from trying to use it again." He hung his head. "Apparently I almost lit our flat on fire."

Lily stifled a laugh. "Well I can show you, if you want." Sirius nodded enthusiastically.

Lily heard the lock click and she instinctively reached for her wand. She noticed Sirius did too. James pushed the door open and saw the pair of them on the couch. He grinned. "Don't you have your own flat, Sirius?"

Sirius huffed. "If you both keep attacking me like this, I'm going to start to think you don't want me here."

James came over and patted Sirius on the head. "Of course not." Sirius beamed at him. "But I think you're here more than both of us."

Sirius shrugged and James sat in the armchair next to them. Lily looked at him, noticing the dark moons around his eyes and his messy hair. "How did it go?" She knew she didn't have to specify.

It was James' turn to shrug. "Same old stuff. Tailing Death Eaters, trying to figure out plans. We did get one about to attack a few Muggles in London. Moody took him in."

Lily nodded. "That's good." She changed the subject, knowing James was probably tired of talking about the Order. "What would you like Sirius and I to make for Christmas dinner?"

James cocked an eyebrow. "Sirius is cooking?"

"Hey!"

James looked at him incredulously. "Sirius, you have never cooked in your entire life. I'm almost sure you've never even made yourself a sandwich." Sirius scowled, not wanting to admit that James was right.

"I'm going to attempt to teach him," Lily explained. "So what do you want?"

"What do you and your mum usually have?" he asked. He took off his shoes and stretched his legs out on the coffee table, settling further into the seat. He laid his head back, taking off his glasses and running a hand over his face in exhaustion.

"The usual, turkey, roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding," Lily said, watching James. He looked so exhausted.

"Mmhmm," James said quietly.

Lily stood up and grabbed Sirius' hand, pulling him off of the couch. She led them to the kitchen, knowing that James was starting to fall asleep. He needed the rest. She pulled out a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and made herself a sandwich quietly.

She peeked around the wall at James and saw he was slumped in the chair, breathing deeply. She turned back to Sirius, speaking quietly. "What has Remus been up to?"

Sirius shook his head. "I honestly couldn't tell you. He's been gone for the past week or so, and he was only back for three days before he left again. Dumbledore has got him doing something, but he won't tell me what."

Lily frowned. "That's a long time to be away. He couldn't possibly tail anyone for that long. I wonder what he's doing."

Sirius shrugged. "Whatever it is, I don't think he likes it. He's been in a foul mood."

"Do you think he has him working with other werewolves? Trying to get them to come over to our side?" she asked, slowly chewing a bite of her sandwich.

"Maybe. That's probably the most likely situation." He sighed. "But if they're the type of werewolves that aren't trying to blend into society like Moony does, then I doubt he's having any luck."

Lily nodded. "No wonder he's been in a mood." She poured herself a glass of water and offered a glass to Sirius, who took it. She sipped, looking out the window for a moment before she spoke again. "Do you think he'll come back for Christmas?"

"I hope so."

Lily woke up slowly, hearing James' breathing next to her. He was still sleeping, his mouth open and his hair a mess. She smiled at him before slipping out of bed as quietly as possible.

She tiptoed into the kitchen, grabbing one of James' jackets off the hook and wrapping it around her. It was too oversized for her, coming down to her mid thigh, but she pulled it tighter around her as she turned up the heat in the main room. She pulled out the kettle and a box of tea and set it on the stove.

While the water boiled she looked out the window. Small snow flurries had started to fall, dancing to the ground and sticking to the window. She shivered, grateful the tea was almost done. She poured out two mugs and dropped the tea bags in, bobbing them around before letting them rest.

She grabbed a couple of the scones she made a few days before and placed them on a plate. She took the tea bags out of the mugs and grabbed her wand. She levitated the mugs in front of her and held the plate as she made her way back into the bedroom.

She came in and lowered the mugs on to the nightstand, climbing into bed again. James, feeling the movement, started to stir.

She ran a hand through his hair and handed him his glasses. "Morning, sleeping beauty," she said quietly.

"Mmm," he hummed. He sat up and looked at her. "Is that my jacket?"

She nodded and handed him his mug of tea. "It's snowing," she said, explaining her reason for taking his clothes.

He gratefully accepted the mug and wrapped his hands around it. He noticed he had small goosebumps on his bare arms and chest. He pulled the covers up more and drank a bit of the tea to warm up. "You were out for a long time," Lily said, taking a sip of her tea and passing James a scone. He nodded, remembering he went to bed at nine last night and didn't wake up until nine this morning. "Dumbledore has you run ragged," she said, watching his face. Despite the sleep he had caught up on, he still had dark moons stamped under his eyes.

He shrugged. "It's okay. I'm the only one that can dedicate this much time. I don't have a real job, so I might as well do something useful."

She frowned. "But you shouldn't have to work yourself so hard. I've barely seen you the past few weeks and when I do see you, you're exhausted." She wasn't mad, she was happy he was helping Dumbledore so much, but she was worried about him.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Thank you for breakfast," he said quietly. Lily knew this was his signal that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. She didn't press the issue, knowing that he wasn't going to stop, no matter what she said.

"Happy Christmas," she said, setting her mug to the side and leaning into him.

"Happy Christmas," James said, wrapping his arm around her. "First Christmas as a married couple," he said brightly.

"We should do something extra special," Lily said, playing with the hem of James' jacket she was wearing.

He put his hand over hers and slid the hem out of the way. "I can think of something special," he said, leaning over to kiss her neck.

She laughed. "You can, can you?" He nodded, pressing his face into her neck and turning his body so he was above her. She untucked her legs out from under her and slid them down the bed before laying back on the pillows. He placed his hands flat on the bed on either side of her and lowered his mouth onto hers.

Lily ran her hands up James' smooth, bare chest, snaking one into his hair. She sighed contentedly against his mouth; they hadn't done this in so long. He smiled in between kisses, knowing what she was feeling. He had missed her the past few weeks as well, only catching a few moments here and there in passing.

He helped her pull her shirt above her head, discarding it to the side and exposing her chest to him. He moved his head down and began to playfully suck on her nipples. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He groaned, already getting hard. She felt his bulge and pressed herself against it more, eliciting more moans from him.

He pulled away from her slightly, worrying about going too fast. He instead shifted onto one hand and slid the other between her legs. He ran his fingers lightly across her underwear before hooking his thumb around the waist band and dragging them down her pale legs. She gasped as the cool air hit her bare skin and James returned his hand, moving it against her.

She moaned and moved her hips up so she could have more contact. He grinned at her. "Pushy," he mumbled.

"Shut up," Lily said, pulling his mouth back to hers. He continued moving his hand between her legs and slowly slid his fingers inside of her. She moaned quietly and moved in time with his motions. They continued for a few moments more before Lily grew impatient.

She broke their kiss and reached down to pull off James' boxers. He raised his eyebrows at her and she gave him a slight nod. He centered himself between her legs, but she put her hands on his chest and pushed him onto his back. He was startled at first, but grabbed her hips as she climbed onto him and began riding him.

He beamed at her, watching her expressions above him as she rocked against him. He gripped her hips tighter and rocked with her. She pressed her hands against his chest and moved faster, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back.

He shifted and hit a spot that sent Lily over the edge. She grinded against him more forcefully until she started to climax. "James," she breathed. Her quiet moan made him come undone. He thrusted upward, finishing as Lily did.

He grabbed her waist and helped her off, laying her down next to him in the center of their bed. They laid upside down, their feet against the headboard, panting heavily. James turned his head to kiss her lightly on the cheek. "Happy Christmas, love."

"Happy Christmas," Lily said back.

James pulled the comforter so they were covered and turned on his side to face her. She snuggled against his chest and they lay in bed contentedly until they heard the front door slam and Sirius' unmistakable laugh ring through the hall.

James groaned and rolled over, sliding out of bed to pull on pants. Before Lily could get up, Sirius burst into the room, flinging the door open. "Sirius!" They both shouted.

Lily saw Sirius look both her and James up and down. He chuckled. "Happy Christmas. I'll be out here." Lily rolled her eyes and got up once he had closed the door. She slid on a sweater and leggings and followed James out into the kitchen.

Remus was leaning against the kitchen counter, looking out the window. When he saw them he gave them an awkward smile. "Sorry, I told him not to go in," he said sheepishly.

Lily hugged him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her head against his chest. "That's okay, we can't expect you to stop a hurricane."

Remus laughed and Lily put the kettle on for everyone. James hugged Remus too and reached behind him to grab the four of them mugs from the cabinet. "How've you been?" He asked.

Remus nodded slowly. "Alright. You guys?"

James peered at him for a moment before nodding as well. "Good. Dumbledore has us running around like crazy, though I'm sure he has you on missions constantly too. Pads says he hardly gets to see you these days," he said carefully, hoping to extract at least a little information from him.

"Sirius is dramatic," Remus said quietly, accepting the mug of tea Lily was offering him. Both Sirius and James narrowed their eyes, knowing that Remus was leaving out details. James gave a sideways glance at Sirius, who shrugged and shook his head.

Lily clapped her hands together after handing off Sirius' mug and said, "Alright! Pete owled and said he is coming later, after he visits his parents," she took a sip of her tea, "and Sirius and I are going to cook!"

Remus snorted, choking slightly on his tea. Sirius gave him a look of fake offense. "Excuse you, I am an excellent cook," he said, laughing.

Remus reached for a napkin to wipe his face. "He tried to make pasta and left a rag near the stove, singeing the edges and almost burning our whole flat down," he explained.

James snickered and Sirius shot him a look. They all sat for a moment, quietly sipping their tea, until a tapping on the window made them all jump and reach for their wands. Lily, closest to the window, saw that it was simply a brown owl, and pushed open the glass to let him hop in. She grabbed the parchment off of his leg and unraveled it.

 _J,_

 _Talk of trouble. Could use some help._

 _-M_

Lily, frowning at it, passed it to James, who read it quickly. He grinned. "Anybody up for a little Christmas adventure?" he asked.

Lily took it back from him. "James, it's Christmas! What could Moody possibly need help with?" She read it over again. "Surely even Death Eaters take Christmas off," she half-joked, hoping there was at least some validity to her statement.

James looked expectantly at Remus, who nodded, shrugging back on his coat. Lily gaped at them. "You're not going?" she asked, worried.

"Why not?" James asked. She looked at him, incredulous. "Come on Lils, I'm sure it won't take long. We'll be back before you know it." He kissed her on the head and crossed the room to grab his jacket. He looked at Sirius. "Coming?"

Lily gave him a warning look. She was not about to be left alone. Sirius laughed. "I think I'll stay and keep your wife happy."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. James smiled at her. "I promise, we won't be gone long," James said. Lily watched as both he and Remus exited the door, clicking the latch behind them.

Sirius stood up and hugged her. "They'll be fine."

She nodded. "I know. I just wish they didn't have to go." She shook her head and looked at her watch. "We can get started though!" she said cheerily. She crossed the kitchen and reached into the cabinet to pull out two aprons. She tossed one at Sirius and he caught it, staring at it in confusion.

She put hers on and showed Sirius how to put his on. He looked down at himself. "I look stupid," he said.

"It'll keep your clothes clean. Come on, we can start brining the turkey," she said. She reached into the fridge and pulled out the turkey, its massive weight settling into her arms. She carried it over to the sink and sat it down.

Sirius raised his eyebrows at it. "Lils, there's only five of us."

"We'll have leftovers," she said simply. She searched under the counter and grabbed a large pot. She filled it halfway with water and carefully lowered the turkey into it, making sure it was covered. "Will you hand me the knife in the drawer behind you?"

Sirius turned around and reached into the drawer, producing a sharp chef's knife. He passed it carefully to her and she took it from him. "Do you think you can handle chopping?"

"I can use magic," Sirius said, pulling out his wand.

Lily nodded and picked up two oranges and two lemons from the bowl on the counter. She set them on the table. "Can you peel and chop these?"

"We'll see," Sirius said, sitting down and pointing his wand at the fruit. Lily watched him carefully for a moment before turning around to measure out and mix in both salt and brown sugar into the large pot containing the turkey. She peeked at Sirius and saw a lemon floating in front of his face, falling into small chunks onto the cutting board.

Once he was done they dropped them into the pot, followed by thyme and rosemary, and Lily put the pot in the fridge.

"What do we do now?" Sirius asked. "Is that going to cook it?"

Lily shook her head, always amazed at how ignorant wizards were of Muggle technology. "That's just until we're ready to cook it later on," she explained, "we're going to start on other things now."

Sirius nodded and adjusted his apron, signaling he was ready. Lily laughed at how serious his expression was.

"Potter, Lupin," Alastor said gruffly, addressing James and Remus as they walked up. He didn't look at them head-on, but James was sure his piercing blue eye had already assessed them before they got within forty feet of him. James was about to speak, but was cut-off by Alastor's walking stick hitting his shin. James gasped at the hit but Alastor gave him a look. "Patronuses?" He asked sharply.

"Stag," James said, rubbing his shin and looking at Alastor with annoyance.

"Wolf," Remus said, looking confused.

"Get in the habit, gentlemen. Polyjuice Potion is all too common these days," he said, turning away from them again. "Just ask your wife, Potter." James looked at Remus and Remus shrugged. Neither knew what Alastor was referring too.

"How are you, Moody?" James asked, standing next to him. Alastor didn't respond, but rather jerked his head quickly to the right. James followed the motion and saw a pair of people standing against a wall in an alleyway. James frowned, watching them closely.

They were all in downtown London, and the pair were watching people pass with hungry eyes. They both stood in the doorway, their faces half covered by the shadows. The woman wrung her pale hands and the man was tapping his foot. There was something off about them, but James wasn't sure what. Their eyes were maybe too sunken in, or their faces too gaunt. Whatever it was, their appearance made him shudder.

Remus dropped his tone and turned away, pretending to look in a shop window. "Who are they?" He asked, barely moving his lips.

Alastor watched the pair for a moment longer, then turned away, keeping his magical eye still pointed on them. It didn't look like the pair had noticed them yet. "If what I've heard is true, vampires are getting involved. Attacking Muggles in cities now," he said, also speaking in hushed tones.

"Why are they out in the daylight?" James asked.

Moody jerked his thumb towards the sky. "Complete cloud cover, no sun. They're also creeping in the shadows so they aren't exposed." He finally looked at James. "Potter, head to the left. Go two blocks down, then cut back through and come up on the flank. Lupin, go right and keep to the side."

They both nodded and, as nonchalantly as possible, made it look like they were saying goodbye and parting ways. James walked quickly down the road, away from the other two. He gripped his wand, now tucked in his sleeve. He couldn't believe there were vampires in London of all places. They always seemed like a distant entity, something none of them would ever encounter.

He cut down an alleyway and hopped a fence with ease. He turned back quickly to make sure he wasn't followed then began to head towards the direction of the alley where the vampires were. Once he got close he began walking more slowly, sliding along the wall as quietly as possible.

As he reached the corner he heard the two speaking in hushed tones, though he couldn't make out what they were saying. He peeked his head around the corner quickly, and saw Alastor on the sidewalk across the street. James stood with his back pressed against the cold bricks for what felt like forever, waiting on some sort of signal.

He heard the pairs' voices grow louder, and he leaned out again. They were starting to move out of the alley. James stepped out just as Alastor moved in. The man turned back and James and immediately stopped. Alastor met the woman before she could step out, and Remus came from the side. The woman backed up slowly, and all three of them held their wands up at them.

Alastor looked them up and down. "Want to explain what you're doing?" he asked.

They both stared at them in silence. James saw the woman let go of the man's hand and the man, lightning fast, lunged towards James. He tackled him the ground and James fell back, his body slamming into the cobblestone. His breath was knocked out of him and he gasped for air. The man opened his mouth and revealed large fangs. He started to bring his mouth towards James' neck, but James took his hand and pressed it into the man's face with all his strength, keeping it away from him.

"Stupefy!" Remus yelled behind them. The man's expression went blank and his body weight slumped onto James. James grunted in disgust and shoved his body off. He stood up and shook off the dirt from the ground. He kicked the vampire once, for good measure.

"Did it bite you, Potter?" Alastor asked, pushing past him to squat next to the man.

"No," he said. He looked to his right and saw that the woman was already unconscious, her mouth open to reveal a matching set of fangs.

"Good."

"What do we do now?" Remus asked, still keeping his wand pointed at the woman.

"Take 'em to headquarters. Question 'em," Alastor said, putting a full body bind on them both. He looked up at them. "Want to come?"

James almost said yes, thrilled at the prospect of interrogating a pair of vampires, but then he remembered Lily and Sirius were at home, cooking a Christmas dinner for them. "I wish we could, Moody. We have to get back, for Christmas."

Alastor eyed him for a moment, then nodded. "Alrigh' then. I'll let you know when I need you next." James and Remus nodded, both about to walk away. He spoke one more time. "And you both better make some questions for your little gang. Never know when one of them might get kidnapped, or worse, betray you."

With that he Apparated away, taking both of the bodies with him. James looked at Remus, both of them shaken up by what he had said. They turned away from the alley, walking back as quickly as possible. They had been gone for hours, and Lily was no doubt worried.

James unlocked the door and they both stepped in, dusting snow off of their coats and stamping their boots to get off any mud. James turned around and was immediately greeted by the mouth-watering aroma of the dinner Lily and Sirius had prepared.

They were both standing near the table, setting up plates and napkins for everyone. Peter was washing dishes at the sink, cleaning up from cooking. James could have cried at the sight of all of the delicious food piled high on the table. It reminded him of the Christmas feasts at Hogwarts. He crossed the room and pulled Lily into a kiss.

"You did all of this?" he asked.

Lily grinned and nodded. The turkey sat, golden and glistening in the middle of the table, surrounded by piles of stuffing. Sides radiated out from the plate: mashed potatoes, carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce, all perfectly placed. James could feel his mouth starting to water and he realized how hungry he was. He'd only eaten the scone Lily brought him this morning and was famished.

"It looks amazing," he let her go and turned to hug Peter. "We don't deserve you," he said to Lily jokingly. He embraced Peter. "How have you been? Are you still working at that bookstore?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah. I've been fine," he sighed, "just kinda bored."

"You should come on more missions with us, I'm sure Moody and Dumbledore would be grateful to have you," James said, clapping him on the shoulder before turning away.

"We'll see," Peter said quietly.

Lily put the finishing touches on the table."Sit down, go ahead and eat before it gets cold," she ordered. James was grateful, never wanting to dig into a plate more.

They all settled in and Lily beamed. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas," the other four chimed.

Everything was perfect.

A/N: Hi everyone, I know it has been a HOT minute since I updated, and I am so so sorry for that. I promise I will update more frequently moving forward, as I have a lot more time. Going forward, I think I have about 13 chapters left to write.

That being said, this is going to be the last "happy" chapter. There will be happy moments of course in future chapters, but things, unfortunately, take a turn for the worse for all of our characters, as they wouldn't be Lily and James if they didn't.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I will be back soon with an update! Thanks for sticking with me!


	47. A Wilted Rose

CW: Brief graphic violence

James woke up and rolled over, reaching out his arm for Lily. It landed on nothing but cold sheets. He sat up, rubbing his face and grabbing his glasses from the night stand. He looked around, then eventually got up. He grabbed a sweater and pulled it over his head, shivering slightly. Despite the sun streaming in through their window, the early spring morning still had a slight chill. He pulled on some pants and made his way into the kitchen.

Lily was sitting at the table, one leg brought up on the chair, one leg dangling from the seat. Her hair was piled into a messy bun on her head, and she was wearing one James' flannel shirts. She held a spoonful of cereal in one hand and _The Daily Prophet_ in the other. Judging by how soggy the cereal in bowl was, it seemed that she had been in that position for a while. She was frowning at the paper in front of her, her brow furrowed into a tight knot.

"Lil?" he said softly.

She jumped, spilling a small amount of milk on the table. She sighed and pulled out her wand to vanish the mess. "Hey," she said, looking back at the paper.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, resting his head on top of hers. "What are you reading?"

She moved her head to kiss him lightly before speaking. "Another attack. People are criticizing the Ministry for their negligence."

James stood up and made his way to the cabinet to pour himself a bowl of cereal. He shrugged. "They aren't wrong," he reasoned.

She nodded, moving to the next story. "Seems all the news is attacks, mostly in London." She shook her head. "I wonder how the Muggle press is reacting to this."

He grabbed milk out of the fridge and poured it into the bowl before grabbing a spoon and joining her at the table. "Maybe they think it's a gang? Or just a bunch of unrelated crimes?" he suggested.

"Maybe."

They were silent for a while, Lily still engrossed in the paper, James slowly eating his cereal. He finished, swirling his spoon in the leftover milk. "Lil?" he asked.

She didn't look up. "Hmm?"

"I wanted to ask you about something Moody said," he started.

Lily tore her eyes away from the paper to look at him.

He continued, "When Remus and I went with him a couple months back, he said something about Polyjuice being too common? And to ask you about it?" Something flashed in Lily's eyes, but he wasn't sure what it was. Fear? Annoyance? "Do you know anything about that?"

Lily looked down at her cereal and saw that it had all but disintegrated. She stood up abruptly and brought it to the sink, turning away from him. "I don't know," she said.

James frowned. He got up and followed her. She started washing the bowl out and he reached out to pull her chin towards him, forcing her to look at him. "I think you do." He looked into her eyes. "What are you hiding?"

"It's nothing," she said, trying to wave him off. He gave her a look and held her chin steady. She rolled her eyes. "Really, it's nothing." She reached up and pushed his hand away gently. She looked out the window for a brief moment, then looked down at the dishes again. "I had made Polyjuice Potion, and I was getting it to Moody, and I was," she hesitated, trying to think of a word that would seem the least threatening, "sidetracked?" she ventured.

James narrowed his eyes. "Sidetracked? What does that mean?" She shrugged. "Lily, tell me," he said, more forcefully this time.

"I ran into a couple of Death Eaters," James eyes went wide, "and they got the potion. Moody's just afraid that they're going to be using it," she said, trying to seem casual.

"You were attacked?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lily sighed. "Because you always get upset."

James balked at that. "Yeah, of course I'm upset that my wife is getting attacked! What do you mean?"

She grabbed a dish towel and began drying her hands, not meeting his eye. "You always make a bigger deal of it than it needs to be. All of us get apprehended, and yet you only make a big deal out of it when I get attacked. Even when Sirius or Remus or Peter get into trouble you don't make a big deal out of it. You joke about it for Merlin's sake!"

"That's not true-"

"Yeah it is!" she countered. "James, you and Remus were almost bitten by a vampire, and I only found out about it when you made a joke about it two days later!" She dropped the dish towel and turned to face him. She looked up at him.

"That's different!" he said, throwing his hands up.

"How?" she asked, pursing her lips.

He fumbled, looking for words. "That's us, we're always, I don't know, it's just different for you! You're, you're-"

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, I don't know. Let's just forget I brought it up."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I want to know why it's different? Because I'm a girl?"

"Of course not-"

"Because I'm not as powerful as you guys?"

"Come on Lil, you know you could kick our arses any day-"

"Then what is it? Tell me!" she demanded.

"It's because you're Muggleborn," he said quietly.

She blinked. "What?"

He groaned. "Sirius and I are blood traitors, so they hate us, but we're still magical blood. It's less dangerous for us." He took off his glasses and ran a hand over his face. "I'm just more worried about you because you're Muggleborn. They think you're something to be exterminated."

She scoffed. "We've known that for a while, James."

"I know that. I'm saying that if I get attacked, I might die, yeah-"

"Comforting," she snapped.

He kept going. "But you don't know what they would do to you. I've seen what they've done to Muggles, to other Muggleborns. It's disgusting. They're brutal." He sighed. "There are things worse than death, and I don't want you to have to experience them."

She looked at his face for a long moment, then reached out and hugged his waist, burying her face in his chest. He rested his chin on her head and hugged her back. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know rationally that you can handle yourself, but…" He didn't finish his thought.

"We're going to be fine, James. Nothing is going to happen to us," she said, her voice muffled by his sweater.

"I'm sorry," James said. "I didn't mean to upset you, I'm just constantly worried about you."

She pulled back slightly to look at him. "So am I, you're almost never home, and you jump at every mission. On the ones I've been on with you, you make impulse decisions and I'm worried you're going to get yourself killed."

"I promise I'll be more careful," he said, pulling her back in.

"Me too," she said.

He took a deep breath and then let her go. He leaned down and kissed her. He pressed his forehead against hers, feeling her warm body against him. They never did fight for long. "My parents want us to come for tea today."

She nodded. "That's good. We're out of almost everything," she said. She turned away, walking down the hall. He laughed and followed her into the bedroom.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her onto the bed with him. "But that's not for a few hours, and I don't have anywhere to be," he said, hugging her tightly.

She laughed, swatting at his hands. "Let go!"

He shook his head and leaned over to start kissing her. "Never."

Lily stepped out of the grate in the Potters' living room, making sure to tap her shoes on the hearth to get off any soot that she may have picked up. Euphemia came from the other room and came to greet her.

She folded Lily into a hug. "Lily, how are you? It seems we haven't seen each other in weeks!"

Lily felt guilty. She smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry, we've both just been so busy with the Order and my job-"

She was interrupted by James coming out of the green flames behind her. "Mum," he said, moving around Lily to hug her.

"Jamesy," she said, beaming. She clasped her hands around his cheeks and squeezed. She hugged him, patting his back. She released him and frowned. "You've lost weight," she said, displeased.

James shrugged. "I don't know, I've been running around with the Order and stuff," he said noncommittally.

"He hasn't been sleeping either," Lily said, crossing the room to hug Fleamont, who had just appeared.

Euphemia gasped. "You haven't been sleeping?"

James shot Lily a look. " _Snitch_ ," he mouthed at her. She smirked at him. He looked back at his mother. "It's fine, Mum, really. I've just been getting in late every now and then."

She ushered him to the white, plush couch and sat him down, sitting down gracefully next to him. "You need to sleep, Jamesy. And eat." Lily sat in the armchair next to them, leaning back against the pillows.

"Yes, James, you're positively withering," Fleamont said, winking at Lily. She snorted. Making fun of James with his father was her favorite thing to do when they came around.

"I'm fine!" he exclaimed, pushing Euphemia's hands away. "Really, I'm fine. It's Lily you should be worried about, she's been at Tobias' laboratory twelve plus hours a day sometimes. Even on the weekends!"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Traitor," she said. Fleamont laughed and sat in the armchair across from Lily.

Euphemia looked worried. "Is that true, Lily?" Lily shrugged. "You know Tobias is an old family friend, if he's giving you a hard time I can have a talk with him-"

"Claws away, dear," Fleamont said. Lily smiled at him. He pulled out his pipe and lifted it to his mouth. He moved his hand and small spark came from his finger, igniting it.

Lily turned to look at Euphemia. "It's fine, I'm the one doing it. Tobias isn't even there most of the time. He's constantly traveling or testing things in his own laboratory," she explained. Euphemia still frowned.

Fleamont took a large puff on his pipe, then released a small cloud of smoke. The smell reminded Lily of her own dad. "Well, we can't have James starve for another moment." He stood up. "The house elves have prepared a wonderful dinner! Come, let's eat."

They followed him into the dining room and all sat down. James' mouth started to water. He didn't realize how hungry he was until he saw the individual cornish hens and heaping mashed potatoes in front of him.

He began to dig in, eating sloppily. Euphemia _tsk_ ed. "I see those years of teaching you etiquette have been put to good use," she said, delicately raising her fork to her mouth. Lily tried her best to imitate her. Unfortunately she was never taught etiquette at her Muggle public school.

James grinned. "Sorry Mum," he apologized through a mouthful of potatoes.

Fleamont turned to Lily. "So what are you working on with Tobias?"

Lily took a sip of water before speaking. "We've been working on the recipe for Wolfsbane, we're trying to see if we can negate a lot of the side effects. Though it keeps the person calm while they transform, they will still scratch themselves or be destructive while using it."

Fleamont nodded approvingly. He began asking her more questions and they got into an intellectual discussion about the ethics surrounding Veritaserum. James watched them for a moment, smiling at how excited Lily got when she talked about potions.

"What have you been up to, Jamesy?" Euphemia asked, wiping the corners of her mouth with a cloth napkin.

"I've mostly just been working with the Order. Moody has been sending me and Sirius out on missions," he said. He laughed. "Almost got bit by a Vampire the other day."

Euphemia dropped her fork and Fleamont turned his head abruptly, stopping mid sentence. "What?" they both said in unison.

James cursed silently. He shouldn't have said that. He laughed awkwardly. "It's not a big deal, I didn't get bit."

"What were you doing around Vampires?" Fleamont asked.

"It was the craziest thing, two of them were hanging around in London, trying to attack some Muggles. In the middle of the day too!" James said. "Remus and Moody and I took them out."

Both Euphemia and Fleamont shared a worried look. "Vampires? In London?" Euphemia asked quietly, more to herself than to James.

"It's getting worse everyday," Fleamont said. "Ted said there were werewolf attacks not far outside of Bath just a few weeks ago."

They all fell silent, tension hanging in the air. The sound of small feet padding around signaled the arrival of one of the house elves. "Pudding?" she asked, looking at Euphemia. Euphemia nodded and desert was served.

They chatted idly for the rest of the meal, avoiding topics of the war. They retired to the living room, all lounging comfortably. James and Lily sat on the couch, his arm around her shoulders. The warmth of the fire and the heavy meal was making them both sleepy. Lily leaned against James, her eyes growing heavy.

She listened to conversation around her, but barely contributed. She was just about to nod off when a blue, silvery light exploded into the living room. All four of them jumped up, wands at the ready. They watched it for a moment, the ball of shining light floating in between them. James gingerly took a step forward and it exploded once more, causing James to step back and shield his eyes.

This time it took form of a rat and Peter's panicked, disembodied voice floated out to them. "Prongs, come quickly, Cokeworth." His voice was ragged and breathy, as if he had just been running.

Lily grabbed James' arm and they looked at each other in terror. "Cokeworth," Lily said quietly. James understood the fear in her voice and didn't hesitate.

"What is it?" Euphemia asked, her voice shaking.

"That's where my mother is." Lily could barely get the words out. "We have to go. Now." James held out his hand to his parents and the four of them disappeared from the room with a loud crack.

They reappeared in the middle of a street, disoriented and confused. Lily recognized it as her old street, the one her mother still lived on. They all looked around for a moment, squinting in the darkness to find a clue of what Peter was talking about. It didn't long. Lily saw a flash of light on the hill to their right.

She immediately began running towards the source, her blood pumping in her ears. She ran, leaving the rows of neat little houses behind her. Her feet pounded against the pavement until she reached the hill, where her shoes slipped against the wet grass. She kept going despite the lack of traction, hearing James' shouts behind her.

She reached the top of the hill and was met with a horrifying scene. To the left was the old playground she and Severus had spent hours at, jumping off of the swings and floating to the ground gracefully; her first interaction with magic.

She looked around wildly and saw Death Eaters and Order members throwing curses and hexes at each other. It was pitch black besides the rapid flashes of light coming from everyone's wands. Once her eyes adjusted to the light she spotted Marlene across the field and took off towards her. She weaved in and out of people fighting until she reached her side. "Marlene!" she yelled.

"Lily?" she yelled back, dodging a hex by dropping to ground quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"Peter sent a Patronus!" Lily shot a Stunning Spell at a Death Eater running their way, causing him to fly backward. Marlene nodded, throwing up a Shield Charm around them to deflect more curses.

They stood, back to back, turning wildly to fight off the assault of Death Eaters coming towards them.

James had almost reached Lily when she took off again, darting around the fighters. He cursed and tried squinting into the darkness to see her. He thought he saw her and was about to run towards her when he was intercepted by a Death Eater. He ducked to avoid a spell shot his way. "Expelliarmus!" he shouted back.

The Death Eater easily deflected his attack and they kept assaulting each other, neither gaining much ground. The Death Eater suddenly froze and fell on his face, revealing Sirius standing behind him, wand high in the air. He grinned. "Now you show up."

James rolled his eyes. "Just try not to get killed, yeah?" He turned and shot the Death Eater coming towards him with a Stunning Spell. It bounced off his shield, and James tried again. Sirius shot a hex at him, and James took the short moment of distraction to hit the Death Eater again, causing her to fall to the ground.

"Nice one, James!" Sirius said, turning to fight more Death Eaters coming towards them. James shook his head and followed him, holding his wand up.

Lily had gotten separated from Marlene at some point, lost in the darkness. She fought her way through the field, but was suddenly now on the edge, her back against a grove of trees. She looked around, trying to find James or anyone else. It was hard to distinguish who was friend or foe in this light. Everyone looked like shadows ready to jump out at her.

Her wand flew out of her hand and she jumped. She watched it go, helpless. She looked back up and a Death Eater was striding towards her, his wand arm winding back to strike.

"Avad-" She jumped out of the way as the Death Eater began the curse, her hands slamming into the cold ground, but he was suddenly thrown back. Lily rolled over, feeling the roots and pebbles push against her skin as she did and looked at the crumpled body in front of her, confused. Had she somehow used wandless magic to throw him back? It couldn't be possible.

Another Death Eater ran up to her and she began running her hands over the ground, searching desperately for her wand. Twigs pricked her hands but she couldn't feel her wand anywhere. The Death Eater had reached her and crouched next to her, grabbing her wrist. She struggled against his strong grasp. He leaned down, his voice urgent, barely above a whisper. "Lily, run," he pleaded.

Lily stared at him for a moment in utter confusion before she recognized the sound of his voice. "Severus?" she asked.

He removed his mask. "Lily, please go. I can distract them, go, please," he said, his voice breaking. He was panting, his eyes wide.

Lily wrenched her wrist free from him, hate in her eyes. "I'm not leaving my friends!" She stood up and pushed him away. She had found her wand and pointed it at him. "I'm not that cowardly," she spat.

He shook his head. "Lily, I didn't mean for this to happen, I didn't think-"

She didn't hear the rest of his sentence as a cold dread washed over her. It was him. He told them. He told them where she lived. Where her mother lived. Her heart beat against her chest so hard it hurt. She couldn't catch a full breath.

He reached out and grabbed her shoulders. "You have to believe me, I'm sorry," he said, shaking her.

She was suddenly pulled from her daze. "You're sorry?" He nodded vigorously. "You're sorry?" she repeated, grabbing his hands on her shoulders and wrenching them off, causing him to cry out. She gripped his arms so hard she thought she might break them.

She let go with such force he stumbled back. She screamed at him in fury and his face became clouded with fear. She raised her wand and started throwing curses at him, not speaking or even knowing what spell she was attempting. She channeled her anger into her wand and kept hitting him, over and over again with random bursts of light. He deflected them with shield charms, but was still being pushed back by her advancing towards him.

"What are you sorry for?" She screamed at him, never once stopping her curses. "For betraying me?" She hit him with a red burst. "For attacking my friends?" Blue light bounced back towards her. "My _family_?" Severus stumbled over a root, falling backwards. She stood over him, shaking, gripping her wand and pointing it directly at his head. "Or are you just sorry that _I_ got caught up in this? That _I_ was the only one you couldn't save." Her voice was cracking, her hands were shaking. She had never felt such anger in her life. "You never cared about me, Sev," she said her childhood nickname with a mocking tone. "You only ever cared about yourself."

"Lily!"

Lily turned her head slightly, and Severus took his chance to apparate, disappearing from the scene. Lily turned back to the spot where he was, staring at the black ground. Her blood was rushing through her so fast it hurt her head. The adrenaline in her veins had prevented all rational thought.

She stepped back, breathing heavily. She looked up, realizing she didn't know who had called her name. What she saw was so much worse.

Her mother was running towards her. "Lily!" she yelled again.

Lily took off towards Rose. "You can't be here!" she screamed. "Run!" She was almost to her, running as fast as she could. "Get out!" she screamed again.

Lily was five feet from her, reaching out towards her, trying to apparate them both out to somewhere safe. She stretched her arm out, their fingertips almost touching. One more second and they'd be safe.

Suddenly Rose froze, her eyes going wide. Her body shot up into the air, rigid as a board. Lily stared in shock, then turned to see the man with the red eyes and waxen figure that she had met that day in Diagon Alley holding his wand aloft and striding towards her slowly.

He chuckled quietly. "Muggles never really understand, do they, Lily?" he asked, turning his head toward her. His red eyes met hers, sending a shiver down her spine. He looked back at Rose. "Their small minds can't comprehend the power we possess. They will never learn," he said, watching Rose's terrified face.

"Please, let her go," Lily begged. "It's me you want! Please I'll do whatever you want, just let her go," tears blurred her vision. She was saying anything she could think of to get him to let her mother go. Voldemort looked back at her, scrutinizing her. She tried again. "Please, she isn't a part of this."

He shook his head slowly. "That's where you're wrong," he said. He moved closer to her. "She is as much a part of this as you or me. She _is_ the problem." He twirled his wand, making Rose's body turn in the air. He watched, looking like a cat watching a mouse just before it strikes. "Wizards, the most powerful people on this Earth, are forced to live in secrecy, in shame, because of these _people_ ," he spat the word as if it he didn't believe that Muggles were deserving of the term. "They're too simple minded to understand real power, and so we all must accommodate them. Integrate into their world. Even," his face contorted, "mate with them."

"Please," Lily whispered, watching Rose's face.

"You have great power, Lily," Voldemort said. "Think of all you could do with it if you weren't forced to hide it from the world." He moved even closer to her. She could hear his breathing. "You could be great, you know, it's all within you. I can help you on the way to greatness,"

Tears were streaming down her face. "You can't," she said. "You can't do this, please." Sobs made her body shake, her abdomen clenching harder.

Voldemort looked her up and down, and Lily stared into his eyes, silently begging him. He watched her for a moment then sighed. "Pity," he said. He jerked his hand and Rose's neck snapped, her lifeless body fell to the ground with a thud.

Lily heard a piercing scream, not realizing it was her own. She fell to the ground, feeling as if she no longer had control over her body. The wet grass pressed against her legs, but she couldn't feel it. Her body felt like it was on fire, being ripped apart from the inside out. She couldn't move.

She stared at her mother's body, unable to tear her eyes away. She saw more flashes of light and heard shouts to her left, but she barely registered them.

She suddenly felt strong arms gripping her shoulders, pulling her up. "No!" She shouted, thrashing against them. "No!" She burst free and ran towards her mother, clutching her body. She still felt warm. Lily saw her face and was almost sick. Her eyes were wide, unmoving. Her mouth was contorted into a scream that was never released. Lily started to sob again, burrowing her face into her mother's abdomen. "No, please," she begged into Rose's shirt.

She felt the arms on her again, more forceful. She relented, letting them drag her away from the body. She watched as she was half carried, half dragged. She felt sick as she was jerked from her navel. Her body floated through the air and she landed on a cold, hard, dirt path. The arms were still holding her, but she sank to the ground as soon as they relinquished their hold on her.

"Lily," a voice said. It sounded far away, as if they were underwater. She blinked and looked up, seeing Peter's face come into view. He was standing, looking down at her. "Lils," he repeated, fear making his voice shaky.

She looked around, not recognizing where they had apparated to. "What happened?" Suddenly terror gripped at her. "Where's James? Sirius? Remus? Where are they?"

Peter shook his head. "I don't know,"

Lily started to stand but Peter put his hand on her shoulder. "We have to find them!" She said, angry at his complacency.

He shook his head again. "When You-Know-Who," he hesitated, looking away from her, not finishing the sentence, as if not saying it meant there was still a glimmer of hope that it didn't happen. "Dumbledore came. They got into it. I think the other Death Eaters apparated out. Moody was yelling at people to go, a few of the Aurors went, taking people with them. They probably got out too. Just sit, Lily you're in shock," he said, keeping her down once again as she struggled to stand.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"The Burrow."

James lifted his wand to shoot another curse at a Death Eater when she suddenly disappeared. He lowered his wand cautiously, turning around. He saw Dumbledore and Voldemort standing across from each other, locked in a duel. Voldemort was raining fire on them, but Dumbledore was easily deflecting it.

James felt a sudden sense of relief. _Dumbledore is here, we're safe_ , he thought. He looked around and saw the other Death Eaters all disapparating. He heard Moody's growling voice from somewhere behind him. "Go!" He shouted.

James whipped around. _Where's Lily?_

He had lost her when she ran towards the hill. He hadn't seen her the entire fight. He hadn't even seen Voldemort appear. He was fighting off three Death Eaters, narrowly avoiding curses. His glasses had shattered and he couldn't see more than a few inches in front of him. He kept turning, searching desperately for a flash of red that might signal where Lily was.

"Prongs!" He heard Sirius yell. "We have to go!"

James ignored him, still looking around.

"James!" He heard him cry again. "James come on!" He felt Sirius grab his hand and suddenly he was pulled away from the hill. He landed on hard cobblestones, stumbling.

He turned to face Sirius. "What the hell?" He yelled. "We have to go back, we have to find Lily and Remus and Peter!"

Sirius shook his head and grabbed James' wand from his outstretched hand. "They will have Apparated out too. We all heard Moody. They weren't fucking around," he said. "Come on. They're probably inside, or they'll be there soon. We'll send a Patronus and try to find them."

James glared at him, but gave in. They climbed the stairs to James' flat. James silently pleaded that Lily would be on the other side of the door, waiting for them. He couldn't get his key in the lock his hands were shaking so badly.

Sirius took the keys from him and opened the door. James' stomach plummeted; the flat was empty. "Where are they?" he asked, not expecting an answer. His eyes scanned their small kitchen and living room as if they would pop out from behind a chair any moment.

Sirius closed the door behind them, clicking the deadbolt into place. He quietly murmured a few charms over the door just in case anyone from the battle followed them. "They'll be here soon, I'm sure. I'll try and get in touch with Moony, you find out where your parents ended up. Lily has got to be with one of them," he said rationally.

James began to cast his Patronus, relaying a short message before sending it out the window. He looked back at Sirius who had done the same. "Now what?"

Sirius shrugged. "Now we wait."

Lily had been ushered into the house by Peter and someone with red hair. She felt numb, not registering her surroundings. She was sat at a large wooden table. She was grateful for the warmth of the room and of the mug of tea a short, red-haired woman had sat in front of her. She gripped it with both hands, watching the steam rise from the cup and the reflections of everyone's faces on the surface of the liquid.

"What happened?" the man asked quietly.

Peter spoke up, also sitting down at the table. "I was with Dorcas, we were tailing a couple of Death Eaters. They both stopped and pulled up their sleeves. Their Dark Mark was," he paused, his face showing the confusion he felt, "moving." He shook his head as if to clear the image. "They Apparated, but Dorcas had put some kind of tracking spell on them. We followed them, and ended up in Cokeworth."

"Cokeworth?" the woman asked, looking stunned. "What in Merlin's name were they doing in Cokeworth?"

Peter shook his head. "None of us know. It's full of Muggles, but they've been targeting London. High population density, greatest destruction."

"They came for me," Lily said, her voice more like a croak than words.

She saw Peter and the man exchange a look. "What do you mean?" the man asked.

She looked up from her tea. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face covered in dirt with tear streaks cutting through it like a river. "Severus told them. He came for me. He wants-" her throat burned and she quieted. Her throat felt like it was ripped, burning from the screaming. Her head was still pounding.

"Snivellus told him?" Peter asked.

"Who's Severus?"

Peter looked at the woman. "Someone we went to school with, Molly. He joined Voldemort our sixth year. He and Lily used to be best friends," he explained.

Molly gasped quietly. The room was silent until two red-haired children burst in, laughing. Molly jumped up from her seat. "Bill! Charlie! What are you doing out of bed?" she yelled, going towards them.

"Sorry Mum," they both chimed in unison.

"Get to-" she was interrupted by child's crying. "Now you've gone and woken up Fred and George!" she accused. She ushered them out of the room, lecturing them.

Lily almost smiled, but then she thought of her own mother. She put her head in her hands, feeling sick. Peter patted her on the back. "What does Voldemort want with you, Lily?"

Lily realized how odd it was that she didn't know their names. She also didn't know why they were here. She looked up at Peter in confusion. "Why are we here?"

The man spoke up before Peter could. "I'm Arthur. Our house has been serving as a safehouse and rendezvous spot after missions." Lily looked at his face. He was in his early thirties, but his face seemed more haggard than a man his age should. She looked into his eyes. They were kind even as they watched her with apprehension. Though she hadn't met him before, she trusted him.

"We were supposed to come here afterwards, but no one did I guess," Peter said awkwardly, looking out the window as if someone might come in at that moment.

Lily also looked out the window, wishing James, or Sirius, or Remus would appear. She looked around the room, feeling oddly comforted. The house itself was a bit run down, with wallpaper peeling in places and clutter strewn around, but it had a certain homey feel that Lily hadn't felt in a long time.

She looked back at Arthur. "Thank you," she said quietly. He nodded and smiled at her. His eyes and crooked smile were so kind they reminded her of her own father. "Where do you think the others went?"

Peter shrugged. "I have no idea. There are a couple of other safehouses, but in the panic everyone might have just gone to their own places."

"Why have a safehouse in the first place?" she asked.

"Our house and a few others have enchantments around them. Protecting spells, shield charms, no one who doesn't know this is here would be able to find it. They're here so people can't be trailed back to their own homes," Arthur said, pushing Lily's tea back towards her.

She took a sip. She looked back at Peter and saw that he was nervously wringing his hands and tapping his foot. He kept looking out the window. "Pete?" He looked back at her. "Where do you think the others went?"

"Maybe to James' parents' house?" he suggested. "It's technically a safehouse as well, but they were at the battle, so I don't know if anyone would have gone there without them."

Lily stood up. "We should go," she said abruptly.

Molly came back in, holding a baby and talking to it in soothing tones. "You're leaving?" she asked. "Are you alright to go? You are more than welcome to stay here," she whispered, trying not to wake the baby.

Peter whispered back. "Thank you for your hospitality, we're going to go find everyone else," he crossed the room and hugged Arthur. "See you soon."

"Be careful, son," Arthur said quietly. Lily noticed the oddly parental relationship between them. Maybe Peter felt at home here.

They Apparated to Euphemia and Fleamont's, landing on the grounds. A couple of lights illuminated the gigantic estate. Lily walked as quickly as she could towards the doors, practically running. Peter ran behind her, struggling to keep up. She reached the door and began pounding on it, a sudden urgency gripping her. She needed to see them, James, anyone.

Fleamont answered the door, holding his wand in her face. "What did ingredient did Lily Potter ask to borrow from me last week?" he asked.

"Boomslang skin," Lily said desperately. "Is James here?"

Euphemia appeared at the door. "We thought he might have been with you."

Lily felt dread grip her chest. It was becoming hard to breathe again. She felt Fleamont take her hand and they lead her into the living room. She sat down on the couch she had been sitting on just a few hours earlier. "Are you alright?" Euphemia asked. Lily nodded, but barely. Every move felt exhausting. She felt as if she was filled with lead.

Peter began to speak and Lily felt nauseous again. She put her head between her knees and took shallow breaths. Her whole body felt like it was working against her. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't hear anything besides the blood rushing through her head. She wanted to scream and cry and throw things, but she felt like didn't have control over her limbs.

Fleamont came and sat next to her, stroking her back. She felt his wand lightly touch her arm and suddenly she was more calm. She took several ragged breaths, trying to get air into her lungs. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

Fleamont put away his wand, seeing the effects of his calming charm had worked. Lily slowly sat up, looking at them. Fleamont had a cut above his eye, and Euphemia's hair had fallen out of its tight twist from earlier. They were both looking at her with apprehension, as if she might fall into madness again.

A burst of light exploded into the room and everyone jumped. It was a silvery stag Lily knew.

James' voice came out from the figure. "At the flat with Sirius. Where is everyone?" Lily stared at the stag dissipate. She didn't hesitate. She crossed the room and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. She threw it down barely after she was in the fireplace.

She flew through grates until she tumbled out at their flat, falling onto her hands and knees in the living room.

"Lily!" She sat back on her heels and looked up to see James running towards her. He dropped to the ground and held her. "What happened? Are you alright? Do you know where everyone is?"

She stared at him, suddenly overwhelmed. More tears brimmed in eyes, threatening to fall. She heard a clunk behind her and saw Peter stepping out from the fireplace. James stood up and pulled him into a hug. Sirius crossed the room and helped Lily up and onto the couch.

"What happened?" James repeated, sitting next to Lily.

"She's dead."

James' eyes went wide. "What? Who? Who's dead?" Fear made his blood burn hot.

Peter spoke up, sitting on the edge of the coffee table across from him. "Snivellus told him where Lily lived."

James stomach dropped.

Peter finished, "He killed Rose. She's dead."


	48. I'm Fine

Lily sat at the counter in the Potters' kitchen, pushing peas around her plate with a fork. She watched them roll around, barely listening to what was being said around her.

"What was she doing there?" James asked, watching Lily.

"Alastor said that a few of the Death Eaters had captured her. They were holding her on the field, waiting for…" Fleamont trailed off.

"Me," Lily finished for him. He gave a sad nod.

"Someone attacked the Death Eaters restraining her and and she was able to get away. I assume that is when she found you, Lily," he said. "The aurors took her body and will cremate her if you'd like the ashes." Fleamont looked uncomfortable. "They decided to cremate in light of the stories of Inferi."

Lily's stomach clenched and she felt nauseous. Imagining her mother as undead made her want to throw up. She pushed the thought out of her mind. "Was anyone else hurt?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Not severely. Alastor and Dorcas were able to round up some of the Death Eaters that didn't Apparate away. The rest ran once Dumbledore showed up."

"Why wasn't Dumbledore there in the first place?" Lily snapped.

Fleamont raised his eyebrows at her tone. "I'm not sure. He might not have heard until later, or he might-"

"Doesn't matter," she said abruptly. "Not like it did any good anyways." She pushed her barstool away from the counter and dropped her fork on her plate. James stood up too, ready to follow her.

Euphemia stood up as well. "Are you leaving?" she asked, looking worried.

"I have a funeral to plan," she said quietly. She strode into the living room and grabbed a handful of Floo powder and throwing into the grate at her feet.

She appeared in her own living room. She stepped out of the fireplace and crossed the room to the kitchen. She paced back and forth, thinking of what she needed to do. She decided that she needed to get to her mother's house immediately.

She heard James step into the living room. He spotted her in the kitchen and crossed the room towards her. He tried to reach out for her but she stepped away. He frowned. "What are you doing?"

She stared at him for a moment, then moved past him to the bedroom. He followed her, confused. "What are you doing?" he repeated.

She didn't answer, and instead pulled a small bag out of her closet and set it on the bed. She started pulling clothes off of hangers and dropping them unceremoniously into the bag. She shoved them all down and zipped the bag up. She tried to exit the room but James put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "Are you going somewhere?"

She pursed her lips, annoyed. "I'm going to her house. I need to pack things up, plan a memorial, somehow come up with a story to explain all of this," she gestured vaguely.

James shook his head and tried to take her bag from her. "Lily, you don't have to worry about that right now. We can get someone to pack up the house, you need to rest-"

She yanked the handles of the bag free from his grip. "Don't tell me what I need to do," she muttered. She pushed past him and stood in the living room, pulling out her wand.

James sighed. "Lily, please just wait."

"No."

She disapparated with a _crack_. James cursed. He shook his head and disapparated as well, reappearing in Lily's old living room. He looked around. The room looked as if Rose had just stepped out. There was still an open book on the table, a cup of tea sitting next to it. There was a blanket crumpled on the couch. There was a brief moment where he expected Rose to come down the stairs and apologize for the mess. He looked around for Lily and eventually heard noises coming from the other room.

She was in the kitchen, rifling through the drawers aggressively. She pulled them open, looked in them for a moment, then slammed them shut behind her as she moved on to the next drawer. She reached the last drawer, moved around some of the mail piled up and then slammed it shut as well. She huffed and put her hands on her hips, looking around the dimly lit kitchen for a moment.

"What are you looking for? I can help you," James offered. Instead of answering she simply walked around him and went into a room down the hall. James followed her. "What are you looking for?" he repeated.

He stepped into a room he hadn't seen before. It was a small office with a ceiling to floor bookshelf and a rich mahogany desk in the middle of the room. There was a plush, wingback chair behind the desk with a layer of dust coating every surface. Lily pulled open a drawer and pulled out a small, leather notebook.

She held it up. "Found it." She quickly exited the room, not giving it a second look.

"What is that?" James asked, bewildered by her behavior.

"My mother's contacts for her friends. I need to let everyone know she's…" She didn't finish her sentence.

James frowned and reached out to hug her. "Lils, you don't have to do that, we can get someone to take care of that. You can just rest-"

"I'm not letting a stranger tell everyone we know. They should hear it from me," she said quietly, sitting down at the couch and setting the notebook on the coffee table in front of her. She spotted a cup of tea, abandoned, still sitting on the table, only half finished. Her stomach clenched and she looked away quickly.

"What are you even going to tell them?" James asked.

Lily stared in front of her, looking at nothing. She stood up abruptly and exited the house. James stood up too and trailed after her.

She stood in the driveway, looking at Rose's car, the one James once had to ride in all the years ago. It seemed like it had happened in a different life. Lily tore her gaze away and turned in a slow circle, scanning the area. Once satisfied she turned back to the car and pointed her wand at it. It disappeared with a soft _pop_.

James blinked. "What'd you do that for?"

Lily pocketed her wand and went back in the house, abruptly closing the door and turning the deadbolt as soon as James was inside. She moved through the living room and picked up the notebook again. "She was only in her fifties, there's no logical reason for an abrupt death. Car crash is the best story, and you can't have a car crash if the car is still sitting in the driveway," she explained.

She sat down at the kitchen counter, opening the notebook and picking up the phone. James put his hand on hers, preventing her from dialing any number. "Lily, just, take a beat. Breathe, we don't have to do this right now."

She put her hand over his and gently removed it. She smiled at him and reached up to cup his face. "James, it's fine. I'm fine," she said softly.

James frowned, not fully believing her. He nodded and stepped away, looking out the window. The sun was beginning to set, giving the sky a subtle orange hue.

She turned back to the phone and began dialing the first number. She waited for a moment and James heard the quiet _trill_ of the ring. It stopped abruptly and a woman's voice answered. "Hello?"

Lily took a deep breath. "Hi Marcia, it's Lily Evans, Rose's daughter."

"Oh Lily, what a nice surprise! What can I do for you?" Marcia's voice floated through the phone with a sugary sweet tone to it.

"I wish I was calling under better circumstances." The woman remained silent. "Unfortunately, my mother was in a car crash yesterday, and she," Lily paused, her voice catching in her throat. She coughed quietly and continued. "She didn't make it."

James' heard a quiet gasp. "Oh Lily, I'm so sorry," Marcia said. Lily could hear the wavering in her voice, signaling that she was about to cry.

Lily nodded, then realized she couldn't see her. "Yes, um, I just wanted to let you know, and tell you that we'll be having a memorial for her this Friday at 10 am at her house, I hope you can make it."

James looked at the calendar on the wall. It was already Wednesday. Did Lily think she could plan a memorial in a day?

Marcia sniffled. "Oh yes, yes of course, we will try to make it. Again, Lily I am so sorry. Rose was such a vibrant, caring person, and she loved you and Petunia so much." Lily's stomach dropped. Petunia. She hadn't told Petunia yet.

Lily took another deep breath, trying to stabilize her quivering voice. "Thank you, I um, I have to go now, but I hope to see you on Friday."

"Yes, of course." Marcia paused. "Lily? Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Thank you," Lily said. "Goodbye," she almost whispered, reaching out her finger to press the receiver, causing the line to go dead with a click.

James came over and wrapped his arms around her. "Lily-" he began.

She patted his arm and smiled brightly, though tears were starting to well in her eyes. "I'm fine!" she lied. She laughed lightly. "One down, only about twenty more to go," she said with as much cheer as she could muster.

James let her go and sat on the counter next to her, listening as Lily went down the list and painstakingly called each person in Rose's book. Lily quickly lost her smile and the phone calls were becoming shorter and shorter.

Once she reached the last person, Steve Wilson- as Rose had put her contacts in alphabetical order- Lily hung up the phone and sat back. She looked at the time. That task had taken over two hours. James had found some cans of soup in the cabinet and had heated them up for the both of them.

He carefully carried the bowl to Lily and set it in front of her. She smiled again, each time more fake looking than the last. She delicately pushed the bowl back towards him. "I'm not hungry," she said. "Thank you though."

"You should eat," James said, trying to hand her a spoon.

"I'm fine," she said, for what James thought was probably the twentieth time today. She jumped off of the counter and clapped her hands together. "I'm going to clean this place up," she said, looking around. "You can go ahead and go back to the flat, I might be a while."

James shook his head. "Lily, we can get the house elves over her to clean up, you need to sleep. You haven't slept since Sunday night."

She left the room, pulling out her wand and pointing it at various places, vanishing dust and straightening pictures and knick knacks. "I'm not tired," she said. She was, but she was afraid of what her dreams might bring her if she went to sleep.

James seemed to read her mind. "I can have my dad whip up some dreamless sleep potion. You should sleep."

Lily ignored him, continuing with her cleaning. She looked around, then went down the hallway to grab the vacuum. She turned it on, making James jump back and stare at the machine with confusion. She began running it over the carpet, obsessively going in ruler straight lines until she covered the whole living room. James perched on the couch, trying to stay out of her way.

"Why are you cleaning right now?" he asked, talking loudly to be heard over the vacuum.

"This place is filthy, we can't have guests over in this!" she said back, continuing onto the stairs. She lifted the vacuum, concentrating hard on getting every crevice.

"We don't need to have guests over at all," he said. "We don't have to have a memorial so soon."

She shook her head. "I already told everyone."

He sighed and watched her finish the stairs, then roll the vacuum back into the closet and grab a mop. He groaned and followed her. "Lily, you're being ridiculous. Just sit down, you'll probably fall asleep immediately if you try."

She looked at him for a long moment. "I don't want to sleep," she said carefully trying to keep her voice steady. "I am not tired. I want to clean this place up. Please just let me," she pleaded.

James held his hands up and stepped back. "Okay," he said. She nodded and started filling a bucket with water. "Okay."

He watched her work for a moment, then grabbed a towel and started wiping down the counters, being careful to stay out of her way. If he couldn't keep her from cleaning, he might as well try to cut down on the things she had to do. He kept stealing glances at her.

She ushered him out of the kitchen while she started cleaning the oven. He sat on the couch, obviously not wanted. He looked at the time. It was already past one. The sun had set long ago and it was almost pitch black outside, save the delicate moon light illuminating the street. He looked out the window and saw that all of houses were dark, except this one.

He leaned his head back against the couch and his eyes started to droop.

He woke up abruptly to the sound of a door shutting. He jumped up and pulled out his wand. Lily smiled at him as she turned to lock the door. She was carrying a few shopping bags, various food sticking out from the top.

He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

She looked at her watch as she walked into the kitchen. "Half past seven." She set the bags on the counter and began pulling them out.

"Where did you go?" he asked. "What is all of this?"

"Just some stuff to make food for tomorrow," she said, not looking at him. He looked past her and saw there was a cooking book open on the counter.

"You don't have to cook for tomorrow," he said. "We can get the house elves or maybe one of the Muggle catering businesses."

She chuckled. "Can you imagine what would happen if one of my mum's friends saw a house elf? The Ministry would be after us so fast." She pulled out two baguettes. "And no Muggle catering business will be able to fit us in this last minute. I'll just cook. Just some hor d'oeuvres, nothing too fancy." She crossed the room and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his lips lightly. "I'm fine, I promise. Just let me do this. She deserves this."

James relented. He knew he would never win this argument, nor would he get her to rest. He ran a hand through his hair. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A bit," she lied. She hadn't even sat down since she called everyone. She didn't want to stop. If she kept herself busy then she didn't have to think about it, and if she didn't have to think about it, she didn't have to wallow in her sadness.

He looked at her skeptically. "Yeah, okay," he sat down at the counter. "What can I do to help?"

She picked up the cookbook. "I'm just going to premake some stuff so we can just heat it up before they get here. It's supposed to start at ten," she explained. "You can just start cutting up some vegetables." She crossed the room and pulled out a cutting board and knife. She set them in front of him and pulled out onions, garlic, mushrooms, and tomatoes.

She sat next to him and started shredding cheese. She cleared her throat. "So, has Moody said anything about catching up with the Death Eaters that disappeared off the hill before we could get them?" she asked.

James groaned internally. She was really trying to make small talk about the attack that killed her mother. He shook his head. "I haven't heard anything."

Lily frowned. "I'm sure they're all up to something. You should owl Moody and see if you can help at all. Maybe once this is over we can both find out some information and try to help." James nodded, appeasing her. She set the grater down abruptly. "Damn."

He looked up. "What?"

She stood up. "I need to owl Tobias to let him know I won't be coming in today or tomorrow."

He stood up too. "Well let me go send an owl, I can-"

She smiled. "No worries, I'll be right back." Before he could say anything she disapparated.

James sighed, taking off his glasses and running a hand down his face. He put them back on, finishing chopping the vegetables, then reached over to finish grating the cheese. After a few moments she reappeared. She smiled again and reached into the cabinet to pull out a pan. "That's done now," she said cheerfully. "He'll understand. I don't even think he's in the laboratory this week," she said more to herself than James.

"Lily?" he asked quietly.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Hmm?"

He looked down at his hands. "Do you think it's maybe time to tell Petunia?"

Lily's smile faded and she felt nauseous. She took a deep breath and then put on another fake smile. "Right. Of course, you're right. I'll do that now." She crossed the kitchen and reached out for the phone.

"I can do it, if you want me to," he offered.

She was already dialing. She looked calm, but James saw her twisting the phone cord around her hand so tightly it was beginning to turn white.

"Hello?" Petunia's shrill voice answered.

Lily suddenly couldn't breathe.

"Hello?" Petunia asked again, this time sounding more annoyed.

Lily spoke up. "Petunia? It's Lily. I um," she hesitated, "I have some bad news."

Petunia remained silent.

"Um, Mum was," she took shallow breaths, trying to not show the emotions she was feeling. "Mum was in a car crash, she uh-"

"What?" Petunia barked.

"She was in a car crash, she didn't make it, it was-"

"A car crash?" Petunia asked sharply.

"Yeah, she-"

"Don't lie to me," Petunia ordered.

James raised his eyebrows. How could she possibly know Lily was lying? Lily's eyes went wide.

"It wasn't a car crash, was it?" she asked. "She got blown up by one of your kind, didn't she?" Petunia's was getting more high pitched, more urgent.

"She didn't get blown up-"

"But it was your kind?"

James frowned. He didn't like the term "your kind".

"She got caught up in-"

"In what, Lily? Your little magical friends? One of them killed her? What did you do?" Petunia was almost yelling into the phone.

"Petunia, I didn't do anything! It was an accident, I didn't mean for anything to happen," Lily's voice was breaking.

"Of course you didn't," Petunia snapped. "You never mean for anything to happen. Things are never your fault, are they?" She huffed. "If it wasn't for you and your _condition_ , she'd still be alive!"

Tears started to blur Lily's vision. "Don't do this," she begged.

"You did this."

"Petunia, please understand-" Lily stopped. "Hello?" The line had gone dead. Lily stared at the wall, in shock, for several moments.

James came up and took the phone from her hand and set it on the receiver. He hugged her, waiting for her to start sobbing into his shoulder. Lily laughed, and James pulled back to look at her in confusion.

She wiped her tears away quickly and laughed again. Her laugh sounded hollow. "Well that went about as well as expected," she said. She laughed again and jumped off of the counter. "Guess she won't be coming to memorial," she joked. "I guess that's good, we only have so much food, and it's not always the more the merrier," she said, forcing herself to smile. Her cheeks hurt.

"Lily-" he started.

"I'm fine," she said, the words short. The phrase came out of her mouth without her willing it. She let go of him and looked around the kitchen. "Should probably start on the mincemeat pies," she murmured.

James let her go, watching her. He chewed on his cheek, worried. She seemed to move about the kitchen like a pinball, bouncing from one counter to the next, never fully finishing one task before moving on to the next. She was distracted, making small mistakes.

She set down the dish she was washing and went to the drawer she was looking in earlier. She pulled out all of the unopened mail and brought them over to the phone. She started opening them, placing each one in meticulous piles, straightening them every few moments.

She pulled out a notepad from the drawer and started writing things down. James came over and stood next to her. "What are you doing?"

She kept writing. "She still has bills, and I will need to get her mail routed to our flat so I can pay them off," she lowered her head and wrote something else. "I'll need to find out the name of her attorney and see if she made a will, surely she did, and get that all sorted out. I'll have to get in touch with Petunia again," she kept muttering, just saying any thoughts that came to her mind.

She stood up and scooped up the piles she made. "Will you finish cleaning up in here? I'm going to go sort this out."

He nodded. "I can get my dad to do that for you, I know he doesn't know much about Muggle bills, but I'm sure he could figure out the will and-"

Lily pressed her hand against his chest. "I appreciate it, but no. I'm fine," she said.

She turned away and went into the study again. She set the piles down on the desk and went around it to sit in the chair. She stared at it for a moment before turning to sit in it. Her heart started beating faster. She hadn't been in this room since before her father died. It didn't look like Rose had spent much time in here either, seeing how nothing had changed about it.

Lily smiled, looking around. The framed photos of her and Petunia were still up, his pens were still lined up the way he liked them, his books hadn't been removed from the shelves. If she breathed deeply she could just barely smell the aroma of his rich pipe smoke.

Lily felt a tear roll down her cheek. She hadn't even realized was crying. She shook her head and quickly wiped them away. She sat up and started sorting through the piles of mail, calling people. She went through the checkbook and made sure there was enough balance to pay the bills and started writing checks. Once she wrote the checks she called each company and informed the person on the other end of the line that Rose would not be needing their services any more.

She saved the electricity and water bills for tomorrow. She started going through all of the documents in the office, looking for a will or any indication of an attorney.

She worked like that for several hours, not realizing how much time had gone by. James let her be, knowing that she wanted to do this and he couldn't stop her. He stayed in the kitchen, trying to follow the recipes he saw Lily starting.

He tried to ease her burden, but he knew that Lily was pushing her grief away, and it had to come out sometime.

"Thank you for coming," Lily said sweetly, pulling yet another person into an embrace. "Please, help yourself to some food, over there, on the table." She pointed.

"I'm sorry for your loss," the man said, patting her back. "Rose was a wonderful person."

"Thank you. I know she would have been grateful to hear that," Lily said.

Sirius and James stood off to the side, greeting people and sharing condolences, occasionally explaining how they knew Rose or sharing small anecdotes about her.

James had to admit, Lily had pulled it off. James had finished the food yesterday and Lily rose early this morning- though James suspected she hadn't actually slept- to prepare everything. She had conjured beautiful bouquets and arranged them around the room. She had found a few pictures of Rose and attached them to a board to place in the living room.

"How's she doing?" Sirius asked.

"Not well," James replied. "She keeps saying she's fine, but she hasn't taken any time to grieve or to process this. Plus she hasn't slept and she's refusing to eat."

"Merlin," Sirius said quietly.

"And on top of all of that, Petunia blames her. You should have seen her face," he shook his head. "I think she believes it."

"That's fucked up. It wasn't her fault; if anything it's Snape's," he said.

"I know," James said. He watched Lily finish greeting everybody and start mingling.

After a few moments Lily moved to the front of the room and cleared her throat. Everyone quieted and looked up. Lily clasped her hands in front of her and James could see her picking the skin around her nail beds. He wanted to stop her but he didn't want to embarrass her in front of everyone.

She smiled and looked around the room. "Thank you so much for coming despite the short notice, everyone. I know my mother would have appreciated your support and enjoyed your company." She bit her lip and laughed nervously. " I uh, I just realized that I spent so much time planning this, I forgot to plan a speech."

A quiet chuckle rang through the room and Lily continued, "My mother was so supportive of me all of the time. I really couldn't have asked for a better one. We fought, as all teenagers and their parents do, but at the end of the day I always realized that the only reason why we did was because she wanted me to make good decisions and have the best life I possibly could have." She paused for a moment, thinking of all of the times they had butt heads over Lily joining the Order. "And she helped me achieve truly everything I attempted. Whenever I was scared, she was always there to guide me. Whenever I was happy, she was always there to celebrate with me. Whenever I felt like I couldn't do something, she was there to tell me that I could do anything I put my mind to, as long as I was willing to work for it."

"When I left for boarding school, I was terrified. I remember at the train station I clung to her and I said 'But mum, what if I don't fit in?' And she looked down at me and said, 'Lily, you were never meant to fit in. We raised you to stand out. You aren't a puzzle piece looking for a place. You're your own beautiful mosaic, whole and meant to be unique.'" She smiled sadly, thinking about the memory. "She was so wise and incredibly selfless. I will miss her every day, but I'm so grateful for the days we did have together."

She raised the glass she was holding and everyone else imitated her. She took a sip and there was light applause. A couple of Rose's friends were quietly crying, only their sniffles audible. Lily cleared her throat. "Um, that's all I have, but I would love for people to say some words, or share your favorite story about her," she said, looking around the room.

Someone volunteered and she happily relinquished her platform, moving to sit on the couch next to James. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead. Peter next to her grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then leaned on her shoulder. She was grateful to them both.

She sat on the couch, only partially listening to the stories people told. All of them included how kind Rose was and how she had helped them all at some point in their lives, giving up her time to put others before herself.

Lily felt like she was watching from the outside rather than being a part of what was happening around her. She smiled and nodded and exchanged pleasantries, accepted condolences, but she never felt like she was fully there. It seemed as if someone else was controlling her body and mouth, and she was just along for the ride.

After several hours people began to clear out. She said goodbye and thanked each one of them, not really paying attention to who was saying what.

James stood behind her, watching her intently. He was ready for her to crash at any moment. She still hadn't slept, and she hadn't taken a moment to think or rest.

Once everyone was gone, Lily, James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus all remained. Remus hugged Lily. "Are you okay?" he asked, the concern palpable in his voice.

Lily smiled. "I'm fine." James was getting tired of hearing that phrase, especially since he knew there wasn't any truth to it. She looked around. "I need to get this place cleaned up," she murmured, picking up a stray plate.

Sirius took the plate from her hand. "Lily, why don't you rest, we can clean this up."

She shook her head. "I can do it, I know where everything goes. I got this," she insisted, her voice starting to become more urgent. Sirius relinquished the plate and held his hands up. She smiled at him and collected a few more plates before going to the kitchen.

She set the plates in the sink and reached for the dish soap. It wasn't there. Lily frowned and looked around the counter, seeing if it had gotten moved. She didn't see it. She looked under the cabinet and couldn't find any there either. "James?" she called. She picked up one of the plates, holding it.

He came into the room. "Yeah?"

"Did you put the dish soap somewhere?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I couldn't find any yesterday."

Lily looked around and spotted a piece of paper attached to the fridge. A grocery list. A couple of other things were listed, but "dish soap" was written at the top, underlined twice. _She always forgot to get the dish soap_.

"She forgot the dish soap," Lily whispered.

"What?"

"She forgot the dish soap," Lily said, louder this time. "She always forgot the dish soap."

James looked at her, bewildered. "Do you want me to run out and get some? Or I can clean the plates with magic."

"She was going to get it on Tuesday," Lily said, still staring at the list. "She always went on Tuesday." Suddenly, Lily was inexplicably mad. Seeing that piece of paper with her mother's handwriting on it made Lily fume.

She had made plans for the week. She had no idea she wasn't going to go to the store on Tuesday. She had no idea she wouldn't be able to do anything ever again. Never see Lily or Petunia again, never have another birthday, or Christmas, or go on holiday again. Lily was gripping the plate, its edges pressing into her palms, leaving white lines.

She wasn't going to be there if Lily got pregnant. She was never going to see James' and Lily's children. She was never going to sing again. Never going to dance, to run, to eat at her favorite bistro down the road.

Tears were streaming down Lily's face. She started to hyperventilate.

Lily was never going to see her again.

She threw the plate at the ground. James jumped and moved towards her, trying to console her. Lily moved away abruptly and went back to the sink. She picked up the plates and threw them at the ground, all of them shattering with loud crashes, sending pieces of porcelain sliding across the floor.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter had all rushed to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, staring at Lily in shock. Lily didn't even register them. She was angry. She was so unfathomably furious that she would never see her mother again because of Voldemort. And Snape. And every other Death Eater, vampire, werewolf, giant, troll, and everyone that wanted her dead because of her blood.

There were no more plates to shatter. She looked around wildly, seeing the four boys staring at her. "Lil?" Remus asked delicately. "Are you okay?"

"I'm-" she stopped herself, realizing that she wasn't fine. She shook her head, still breathing rapidly. "I'm not-" she sucked in a breath and sobbed. "I'm not fine," she finally got out. She sobbed again and picked up a towel and screamed into it. No one moved. She stood there sobbing. "I'm not fine," she repeated.

James came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay to not be fine, Lils. You don't have to keep it all in. We're here for you. You can fall apart, and we'll still be here to help you put yourself back together."

"It's not fair," she said quietly.

"I know," James said.

"It isn't fair. She didn't deserve this," Lily said through sobs. "She didn't deserve to get caught up in all of this. It wasn't her fault. It's not fair."

"I'm sorry Lily. She really didn't deserve it," Sirius said, coming up to hug Lily too. She reached out for him and sobbed on to his chest.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"Yes you can," Remus said, both him and Peter came up to join the other three. "You can do it, and when you can't, we'll do it for you."

The five of them stood in silence, save Lily's quiet sobs. The house felt eerily empty, as if the reality of the situation had finally struck.


	49. An Unwanted Homecoming

Several months had passed since Lily's mother's memorial, and Lily was finally starting to feel normal again. There were moments throughout the day when she was overcome by a sudden feeling of dread or guilt, in which she had to excuse herself quickly to sob quietly in the nearest loo.

In order to combat this she was throwing herself into work, distracting herself with everything she could. She had made excellent strides at work, and she was spending all of her free time helping with the Order. She, Marlene, Dorcas and a few others had started taking Polyjuice Potion, imitating Death Eaters to try to gain more information about Voldemort's whereabouts and plans.

Every morning she woke up, went to work, then met up with the others at Andromeda and Ted Tonks' house before setting out. They had gathered valuable information, with several attacks and plans being thwarted over the past few months.

James was also spending all of his time with the Order. Unlike Lily, however, he was on the front lines, joining in on counter attacks every time he could. Sirius and Peter joined him often, and James had become quite close with Gideon and Fabian Prewett.

Lily had also been keeping an eye out for Snape everywhere. She was ready for revenge. The others told her it wasn't worth it, but it consumed her. She wanted to make him pay for what he did to her, to her mother. The thought was in the back of her mind always, invading every thought she had.

Fall had come suddenly, almost without Lily realizing it. She looked out the window of their small flat and saw the sparse trees across the road starting to turn into shades of red and orange. James came up behind her and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.

She blinked, coming out of her daze. She turned around and kissed him lightly. "Nothing, I was just looking at the trees. They're starting to change color," she replied. She moved away from him and put the kettle on to make them both tea.

He followed her and pulled bread out of the cabinet. "I can't believe it's already fall," he said.

Lily nodded in agreement as James started to toast a few slices of bread. "It seems time moves faster now that we're out of school. She smiled. "We would have already been a couple of weeks into term if we were still at Hogwarts."

James raised his eyebrows, accepting the mug of tea Lily passed to him. "You're right," he said. "That's an odd thought." She nodded and they sat down at the table, quietly snacking, not commiting to a full dinner.

There was a knock and James grabbed his wand, heading towards the door. He opened it partially, holding his wand in the face of the visitor.

Sirius spoke up, already pushing past James. "Stag," he said, already expecting James' question used to verify their identities. James nodded and pocketed his wand.

Remus followed him into the flat and sat down next to Lily. He looked tired. Lily handed him a piece of toast and the jar of jam and he took it. She watched him for a moment. "You didn't get any Wolfsbane from me this full moon," she said. It was more of a statement than a question.

He shrugged. "I didn't need it this time."

She stared at him, expecting him to elaborate, but he remained silent. Sirius sat down on the other side of Lily and took some toast as well. James sat down with them, and they chatted for a while, discussing Lily's job, recent order missions, and speculated about what Dumbledore might be up to.

"I haven't seen him at Order meetings in a while," James said, trying to remember when the last time he had seen Dumbledore was. He realized it was on the hill during the fight with Voldemort.

"Moody mentioned to me that he was trying to get information on what Voldemort is doing," Sirius said. "Apparently Dumbledore thinks Voldemort is up to something, something that's going to help him win the war."

Lily furrowed her brow. "Like a weapon?"

Sirius shook his head. "Moody didn't tell me what it was, but it didn't sound like a weapon. It sounded more like he was looking for multiple things. He mentioned something about Dumbledore trying to keep things safe at Hogwarts," he explained.

They all sat in silence for a moment, pondering this thought before James spoke up. "Maybe he's trying to find things that would hurt Dumbledore specifically?" he mused.

"I don't know, all I know is that it's been keeping Dumbledore busy," Sirius said.

"It seems like Moody and Dorcas have got it under control though," Lily said.

"Speaking of Dorcas, how are her and Marlene?" Sirius asked, smirking.

Lily laughed lightly. "They're good, I talked to Marlene the other day. I think she's all but moved into Dorcas' place. She hasn't gotten a flat or anything, I think she's still living in her parent's house when she's not with Dorcas."

There was another knock at the door and this time Lily stood up, holding her wand aloft like James did. She nudged open the door and saw Peter standing in the hallway. He grinned at her. "Rat," he said.

She opened the door fully and let him in. He took her seat at the table while Lily jumped up to sit on the counter. Peter also helped himself to some toast.

"How's the bookstore?" James asked.

Peter nodded, chewing his food before he answered. "It's good. It's not much, but it pays the rent," he said.

They all talked, catching up on what they had all been up to in the weeks since they'd seen each other. Lily stared into her mug of tea, knowing it had gone cold by now.

After a while there was a gentle tapping on the window. James stood up and let the owl in, grabbing the piece of paper and unscrolling it, reading it aloud for the others.

 _Meeting, the safest place._

 _-M_

James laughed. "Well that's not cryptic at all," he said, tossing the bird one of the treats meant for James' and Lily's owls. The owl accepted it and jumped back out the window, disappearing into the trees.

"His messages are getting shorter and shorter. He's paranoid our mail is being intercepted," Sirius explained, standing up. "He means Hogwarts I'm pretty sure."

The rest stood up, grabbing their wands. They convened in the middle of the living room, grabbing each other's hands. They disappeared with a loud crack.

They all landed in the middle of the street in Hogsmeade, startling a couple of goats grazing in a nearby garden. They drew their wands, keeping them at their sides, and walked towards the castle.

After a long walk up the hill, they finally reached the great doors leading into the entry hall. A few students were walking by, throwing sideways glances at the five of them before hurrying away quickly.

"Do we go to Dumbledore's office?" Peter asked quietly.

"Probably," James said, continuing to walk.

"Potter? Black?" a voice said behind them.

James' heart instantly leapt to his throat, as that voice usually was scolding the pair of them. He turned around and beamed. "McGonagall!"

She looked at the five of them. "What are you all doing here?"

"Mad-eye," Sirius said.

McGonagall nodded with understanding. "I had heard he was planning something. I believe he is in the headmaster's office." The five of them nodded and turned back towards the path. "Potter," she said. James turned back around. She smiled a tight smile. "It's good to see you." He smiled back. "You too, Black, Pettigrew, Lupin, Lily," she said, smiling at all of them. "Hogwarts is remiss to no longer have you roaming the halls. Though things have been much quieter since you left."

Sirius laughed. "You want us to stir up some trouble while we're here? For old times sake?"

She pursed her lips. "Absolutely not, Black. I have quite enjoyed my peace and quiet." She turned and went up the stairs, leaving them alone.

They headed towards Dumbledore's office, seeing a few more Order members along the way. Lily frowned. "He got everyone to come?" she looked around as they entered Dumbledore's office. "What is going on?"

James was about to answer when the thump of a walking stick across the stone floor called them all to attention.

Alastor Moody was standing at the front of the room, staring at everyone. His eye was moving rapidly, assessing each of them individually while his other remained stationary. He cleared his throat and began speaking. "We've gotten word that some Muggles were taken hostage. We have reason to believe they're at the Black Manor," he gave a quick side-eye to Sirius, who clenched his jaw and balled his fist. "We've been planning an ambush, we'll need all the help we can get. This isn't going to be a quick in and out. Black Manor is all but a fortress, rigged with traps and curses you can't even imagine."

Everyone shifted uncomfortably at the thought of the grotesque things that might happen to them on this mission. Lily glanced over at Sirius, whose jaw was still clenched. He stared straight ahead, his expression hard. She reached over and slipped her hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

Alastor looked around again. "Anyone have any objections?" The room remained silent. "Alright then. We'll be taking brooms and thestrals, who knows what kind of alarms they have set on people trying to Apparate in."

He ushered everyone out of the office and to the grounds. The sun was already setting, casting an orange hue across everyone. James had gotten a broom from the Quidditch pitch, though not without complaint about how inferior it was to his own, and Lily climbed aboard with him. She casted a Disillusionment Charm over them, letting their bodies fade into the sky as they took off.

They flew, following the rest of the Order, for what felt like an eternity. Both Lily and James were tense, James gripping the broom handle so hard his hands began to cramp. Lily's heart beat rapidly, thumping an unsteady rhythm against her chest. She had no idea what was in store for them at Black Manor, and she was not excited to find out.

Eventually, Alastor made a jerk of his hand, signaling everyone to land. They all touched down as silently as possible, drawing their wands and keeping alert for anything that might attack suddenly. Alastor waited for everyone to dismount, then his gravelly voice filled their ears. "We walk from here. Be alert, move silently," he ordered.

They spread out, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. They walked for a while before the towering manor, built from black brick and sinister looking, came into view. Lily kept stealing sideways glances at Sirius, whose expression was growing darker by the second.

James went slightly in front of the rest and started moving along the outside border of the manor, a lofty wall with metal spikes at the top separating the manor grounds from the outside. They all whispered spells, revealing traps and curses that would have been triggered by their presence. Alastor wasn't wrong; death would be a welcome relief from some of the curses set along the walls.

A signal from further away let them know that it was time to move in. The five of them found a weak spot in the wall where no curses had been placed, and James touched the bricks with his wand, moving them out of the way long enough for them all to hurry through before letting the bricks reform their pattern.

They moved quickly, ducking behind hedges and statues before they all were able to reconvene in the courtyard behind benches and fountains. They all stared at Alastor, who stared at Sirius. Lily knew what was coming next.

"Black," Alastor whispered harshly. "What's the best way in, undetected?"

Sirius stared at the house for a moment before speaking. "Around back, house elf entrance. The door maybe blocked, but it can be easily removed. Though we'll have to shut up some of the house elves- they worship the ground she walks on," he said bitterly.

Alastor nodded once, and they all began moving quickly to the back of the house. They edged along the walls, staying in the shadows as much as possible. They reached a wooden door, tall enough for people to walk through, but nowhere near the commanding grandiosity of the front entrance.

The group split, flanking each side. Sirius stepped forward, pressing his wand to the door and murmuring spells, getting rid of anything that might alert the Black's to their presence. He reached forward and gingerly turned the door handle, nudging the door open. They all carefully made their in, holding their wands up, ready for anything.

Lily spotted a house elf down the hallway, and silently shot a stunning spell before it could react. Dorcas, who had come up beside her, gave her an approving nod.

They continued their way through the house, Sirius leading the way. They stunned house elves and people within portraits along the way, making sure they remained undetected.

"Where would hostages be?" Lily asked quietly, barely moving her lips.

"Dungeon, unless they're playing," Sirius said, his voice low. Lily didn't want to know what he meant by playing.

He led them down dark hallways and down stone staircases until they finally reached a dank chamber that seemed to stretch for an indefinite distance, with walls of cages. Lily gasped when they rounded the corner.

Several Muggles were within the cages, leaning against the bars, looking emaciated. Their clothes hung off their frames like burlap sacks, their faces were gaunt, their eyes sunken in. One woman spotted them and started screaming, scrambling to the back of her cage, trying to get as far from them as possible.

The others took notice and joined in, choruses of "please, don't hurt me, please let me go," ringing out.

James, on instinct cast a silencing spell, causing each one of the Muggles to open their mouths repeatedly without any sound coming out. This only increased their fear. James shook his head and held his hands up, about to explain, but Dorcas took over.

"Everyone, don't worry. This spell isn't permanent. We aren't with the other wizards, we're here to get you out. You have to cooperate. We don't have much time before we're found, and we need to get all of you out as quickly as possible," Dorcas explained, trying to calm their fear.

Some looked relieved, others were skeptical. Lily suspected this wasn't the first time they were promised a way out, only for it to be a way that the Blacks were playing with them. She shuddered at the thought.

They all began unlocking the cages as quickly as they could, though they all required more than a simple "Alohomora".

Once the cages were open Alastor spoke up. "Alright, McKinnon, Pettigrew, Lupin, Tonks, get these people out, try to follow the same pathway. Don't wait on us, get out as soon as you can. Take them to Hogwarts, we'll deal with them there. The rest of you, with me. Black, lead the way," he ordered.

Sirius stared at him, obviously deep in thought. "They're probably in the Great Hall, if they're doing anything with the remaining Muggles."

"Is this not all of them?" James asked.

Alastor shook his head. "Not according to Muggle police records," he said.

James frowned, but moved so Sirius could lead the way. They followed him again, edging through the hallways as silently and quickly as possible.

Sirius stopped abruptly and held his hand up, signaling that the crew shouldn't move any further. Lily listened intently and she could hear faint voices, along with desperate pleas from the Muggles, assumedly. She shuddered, and not from the cold breeze through the hall.

James squeezed her shoulder, and Alastor pushed past him to speak to Sirius quietly. "You know this place better than any of us. What's the course of action?"

"There's several entrances to the hall. We can split up and each take an entrance, blocking them in. They might Apparate, but more than likely there's enchantments preventing that," Sirius whispered back.

Alastor nodded once and moved his hand forward. Dorcas lead the way, and the rest followed. Sirius stayed at the first entrance with Alastor, and the rest moved along, each splitting into pairs to cover the massive doors. Lily and James stopped, but Dorcas grabbed James. She shook her head. "You're both some of our best, we'll need you covering different entrances."

James looked back at Lily, who nodded. He followed Dorcas and Lily raised her wand at the door, ready for a signal. Fabian Prewett stood next to her, mirroring her position. He nudged her and smiled. "Ready for some fun?" he asked, grinning at her.

She smiled back at him, but even she could tell it looked forced. Her heart was beating so forcefully she was sure they could hear it on the other side of the door. There was a loud bang and shouts rang out. Lily blasted open the door and came upon the sinister scene within.

There were several people in the room, some Lily recognized, some she didn't. She looked around wildly and saw the Muggles suspended upside down in the air, their faces red, veins bulging in their forehead.

She immediately rushed across the room and broke the spell holding them up, while simultaneously casting her own to bring them down gently. They looked at her, fearful. She knelt beside them. "Get out, try to find an exit. You don't want to be here for this." They nodded vigorously and began stumbling out of the room.

Lily turned around and narrowly missed a curse flying her way. She looked up and saw Bellatrix Black standing across from her, her wild curls forming a mane around her pale, sharp face. Her thin lips curved into a smile as she stared Lily down.

"A little Mudblood to play with?" she asked, her tone mocking. "He'll be so pleased."

Lily shot a stunning spell in her direction, but Bellatrix easily deflected. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a man rush at her and she threw up a shield charm just in time to block a bright green flash of light.

Bellatrix shrieked, starling the man. "You idiot!" she shouted. "He wants them alive!"

While he was distracted Lily sent Expelliarmus at him and his wand flew out of his hand into her outstretched one. It took a moment for him to react, and he looked shocked. She took the opportunity to shoot a stunning spell, sending his body flying back towards the wall, where it fell into a heap.

Bellatrix laughed again, the sound shrill. "The silly little Mudblood thinks she can play with the real wizards!"

"I was wizard enough for him," Lily said, jerking her head towards the unconscious man.

She shook her head and lazily twirled her wand. "He was practically a Squib. A baby with a toy wand could have taken him out."

Lily saw James across the room stun another man and he looked around until he saw her. He began moving towards her, being careful to stay behind Bellatrix. Lily kept talking. "What about Voldemort?" she jeered. "I'm enough of a wizard for him to want me alive?"

Bellatrix spat. "You dare say his name?"

Lily nodded. "He and his name are nothing. He's going to die, and he will have left nothing behind."

Bellatrix's neck muscles tightened and her jaw set. Lily could tell she was making her more angry by the second.

"And you? Do you really think you're a better witch than I am?" Lily laughed. "You couldn't beat me that day in Hogsmeade, and you haven't been able to stop the Order either. No wonder Voldemort is letting you deal with these Muggles. He doesn't think you can handle anything with actual Wizards."

"Shut your mouth, you filthy Mudblood, before I cut out your tongue!" Bellatrix barked back, holding her wand higher and moving closer to Lily.

Lily took a step back, and James took the moment to throw a stunning spell at Bellatrix. She whipped around wildly and blocked it at the last second, sending it flying towards the window and shattering the glass.

Lily sent another spell at her and James did too. They circled her, assaulting her from every possible angle. She deflected them, but her concentration was waning, her shield charms growing weaker by the minute.

Lily sent another spell, but this time after Bellatrix deflected, she burst into a puff of black smoke and sent both Lily and James flying back.

Lily couldn't see James or the others, and her vision was swimming from the impact of the fall. She looked around, not seeing James anywhere. Bellatrix was gone.

Sirius ran up to her and helped her stand up. "Go and find the Muggles, get them out. There's a passageway down the hall and to the left. It'll take you out to the grounds." Lily tried to protest but Sirius pushed her. "Go!"

She nodded and ran from the hall. She saw the Muggles cowering in the corner. Rodolphus Lestrange was standing in front of them, holding his wand at them.

He didn't hear her approach and she shot a stunning spell right to his back, causing him to keel over. The Muggles all screamed, and some began crying. She shushed them. "It's alright, he's not dead. Come on, we have to get you out."

They were still staring at her, scared. She pursed her lips, frustrated. "I'm the only chance you've got at getting out. You better come with me," she said, curtly.

She began to help some of them up, and began down the hallway, looking for the passageway Sirius told her about. She eventually saw a bookshelf that was tilted away from the wall, revealing a small sliver of light behind it. She held up her wand and murmured a spell, causing the bookcase to slide forward.

She ushered in the Muggles and turned back one last time to make sure no one was following them. She hoped James was okay.

James fell back once Bellatrix disappeared and he sat up. His glasses were shattered on the floor next to him. He cursed and looked around, squinting. He didn't see Lily anywhere.

Another Death Eater ran at him, but James easily stunned him. He stood up, looking around. Most of the Death Eaters had either disappeared or were in crumpled heaps on the floor. Sirius was fighting one and James rushed to his aid.

They were able to subdue him and James hit him with a full body bind, causing him to writhe on the ground and scream at them. James frowned and silenced him.

He looked up and saw Dorcas striding towards them. "Alright there, Potter, Black?" she asked.

They both nodded. "Is that everyone?" James asked, looking around again.

"At least the ones that didn't get out. We got some trying to track them down, but they're long gone by now," she said, kicking the Death Eater on the ground next to them. "The rest we're going to take back to Headquarters, see if we can get any info out of them. Lily have any Veritaserum left?"

James' stomach dropped. _Lily._ "I don't know. I don't know where she is," he said quietly. He started out of the hall and found the nearest staircase. He tore down it, looking for the exit.

He found the main doors blasted open and he ran out of them, looking around for a glimpse of Lily's fiery hair.

"James!" Lily called, seeing his black, unruly hair across the courtyard.

He whipped around, spotting her. He ran towards her and she practically jumped into his arms. "Oh, thank Merlin," James said into her hair. "I didn't see you when Bellatrix got away. I thought she might have gotten you."

She shook her head, her face pressing into his chest. "No, I was getting everyone out," she explained, gesturing to the people sitting on the ground behind her, looking frightened and confused.

He glanced at them but then immediately turned back to Lily. He leaned down and kissed her passionately, closing his eyes and relishing in the situation of having her small body pressed against him. He broke their kiss and began kissing every part of her he could reach, mumbling, "I'm so glad you're okay,".

He moved down and began kissing her neck and she tilted her head back, laughing. She heard people in the distance calling their names. She tried to pull away but he held her tightly. "James, we have to go, they're calling us," her quiet voice lost on him.

He continued kissing her. "Give me more time," he whispered.

"Prongs!" James groaned and turned around to see Peter standing behind them, looking dirty and tired. "What are you doing? Moody is rounding everyone up over there," he said, not meeting James' eye once he turned to face him.

James cursed quietly so only Lily could hear, and then began walking towards Peter, following him back to the area where Alastor and Dorcas were counting people, checking off everyone, making sure no one was left in the house or got captured.

James gripped Lily's waist tightly, nodding at Dorcas as she looked over at them. She gave them a curt nod and kept looking around. James looked around too, not noticing anyone was missing.

Alastor seemed to come to the same conclusion. He looked around once more, his blue eye swiveling wildly in its socket. "Potter, you get the hostages out?" He asked gruffly, his eye coming to a standstill to pierce her with its gaze.

She nodded, gesturing behind her. "They're all sitting there, they're all shaken up though, it would probably be good to get them St. Mungo's and obliviate them," she said.

He nodded. He turned back to the rest of the group. "Tonks, McKinnon, start working on that. Pettigrew, when they're done get them all over to St. Mungo's and get them cleaned up." He pointed a pudgy finger at him. "Don't breathe a word of what happened, understand?" Peter nodded. "If they ask you what happened, say you don't know. If they ask you what's wrong with them, say you don't know. If they ask you what their names are, say you don't know. If they ask you what your hair color is-"

"Say I don't know," Peter said, nodding quickly. Alastor jerked his head and took his hands off of his gnarled walking stick, waving the rest of them off, effectively dismissing them.

James saw Sirius and Remus coming towards them. He pulled Sirius into a hug, then let go. "Alright?" he asked.

They both nodded. "We're going to go," Sirius said. "Need anything?"

James shook his head. "We're going too." Before Lily could say anything, James turned on the spot and pulled her with him.

They landed on the ground in front of their flat, looking around quickly to see if anyone spotted them before hurrying inside. They made their way up the stairs and Lily unlocked their door.

James locked it behind them and before Lily could say anything he pushed her up against the wall and began kissing her neck again. She let out a soft "oh," as she was pressed into the wall.

She felt his hands roaming her body. His touch was urgent, needy. She laughed. "James, what has gotten into you?"

He shook his head, not stopping. "I was so worried about you. I'm just glad you're safe," he said against her neck, his breath tickling her delicate skin.

"Oh," Lily said again. "Okay."

James stopped momentarily to look at her. "Is that okay?" he asked.

She laughed. "Of course." She snaked a hand through his hair and pulled his mouth to hers. James hummed appreciatively. She slid her hands under his shirt and lightly raked her nails over his taut skin, making him shudder.

He grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall with one hand, using the other to grip her hip, pulling her flush against him. He slid his thumb over her hip bone, causing her to whimper quietly.

He pulled back, dropping her hands so he could use both of his to pull her shirt above her head and quickly unsnap her bra. "Hey," she protested quietly.

"Sorry love," he said, pressing himself against her bare chest, returning to kiss her. He gripped her waist, his large hands holding her tightly. He slid them up, cupping her breasts. She gasped as he moved his thumbs over nipples. She arched her back and pressed her breasts more firmly into his hands, causing him to moan quietly.

He moved his hands down again, causing Lily to give him a pouty look. He quickly unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down her legs, revealing her light pink underwear. "These are cute," he murmured, slipping his hand between her thighs, moving it over her underwear lightly, causing her to gasp.

"Thank you," she said, breathless.

"Shame they're in my way," he said, rapidly hooking his fingers on the waistband and yanking them down her legs. They pooled at her feet with her jeans.

She looked at him. "This isn't fair," she said, indicating her state of undress compared to him being fully clothed.

James grabbed her hips. "I'll make it up to you," he said. He moved his hands to grab the back of her thighs and easily lifted her up. She gasped, but wrapped her legs around him.

He carried her to the bedroom and lightly tossed her onto the bed. She put her hands at her sides, trying to sit up so she could help him take off his clothes. He moved towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back against the bed.

Before she could react he grabbed her hands and pinned them against the bed above her head. She struggled against him for a moment and he pressed harder, his knees on either side of her thighs, his weight pressing down on her. "No," he said.

Lily looked up at him. His voice was deep, his command making her stop moving. She was shocked, but enjoyed it. She nodded. He watched her for a moment, running his free hand over her body. She shivered, goosebumps arising on her skin.

He smiled a devilish smile. "Don't move," he said, his hazel eyes boring into hers. She nodded, feeling James nudge her legs open with his knee. He watched her face, then slowly let go of her hands and trailed them down her body.

She didn't move, keeping her hands above her head. He got off of the bed and put his hands behind her knees, pulling her down the bed until her legs were dangling off the edge. He knelt, pushing her legs open wider.

"What-" she began.

"Shh, love," James said quietly, lowering his face between her legs. She gasped as she felt his tongue dart out and circle her clitoris. He kept moving his tongue, writing out imaginary cursive letters against her skin.

She started breathing more heavily, her skin becoming hot. He brought his fingers up and slipped them into her, feeling her wetness against his skin. She cried out softly as he moved them within her. "James," she whispered.

"Hmm?" he hummed, the feeling of his lips against her sensitive skin making her cry out again.

"James," she gasped again, louder this time. She was gasping for breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked up, watching her face. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, her skin flushed.

His clothes were suddenly too constricting. Pulling away his mouth, sitting back on his heels, keeping his fingers moving against her. He reached behind him, pulling his shirt off with one hand, switching hands in the middle to keep his motions on Lily constant. He tossed it to the side, standing up abruptly and unbuttoning his pants.

Her eyes flew open and he pushed his pants down, his boxers sliding down with them. She watched him, trying to squirm against his grip so she could get closer to him. He pressed his hands against her slips, pushing her into the bed more firmly. "I said no," James whispered.

She was getting more wet every time he spoke. She tried to move her hips, attempting to increase the contact between his fingers and her. He pressed against her again, pinning her down. She whined and James laughed.

He removed his fingers again, causing her to whine even more. He quickly dropped to grab her ankles and pulled them up so they rested on his shoulders. He gripped her legs and slowly entered her, causing her to moan.

He moved torturously slow. She whined and tried to reach for him, silently begging him to go faster. He pulled out slowly. "Be patient," he ordered and Lily immediately quieted, laying back against the bed, watching him.

His eyes closed as he entered her again, slightly faster this time. He breathed out, and began moving more rapidly. She gasped as the pace quickened, him thrusting into her rhythmically. The bed shook, the headboard bumping into the wall with each thrust.

He moved, wrapping his arm around her calves and pulling her legs closer together. She cried out at the new position, hearing him moan quietly.

Her breath became erratic as she felt heat building up in her body. He was moving quickly, feeling the same sensation. He watched her face and they stared into each other's eyes. He took the hand gripping her hips and moved it between her legs.

"James!" she moaned. He moved his hand faster and she unraveled, heat spreading through her body. James kept going as she orgasmed, climaxing a moment later. He kept thrusting, prolonging both of their orgasms. She cried out, her words an incoherent stream of his name and curses.

James slowed, staying inside her, both of them panting heavily. He remained inside her for a few moments more, both of them staring at each other. Once he caught his breath he moved away and climbed onto the bed with her.

He laid next to her, grabbing her chin and pulling her face towards him to kiss him. She turned, cupping his face and passionately kissing him. She pulled back and looked at him. "What was that?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, still moving his hands over her body.

"That was different," she said.

He shrugged. "I wanted you to enjoy it without worrying about me," he said. His brow furrowed. "You did enjoy it, right?" he asked, suddenly worried.

Lily nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes," she replied, suddenly unable to think of other words to say.

"Good," he said quietly.

"I like," she paused, trying to think of the words to say, "I like when you talk like that," she finished lamely.

He grinned and kissed her again, this time more tender. "Good."

They laid on their bed, entangled in each other's arms, forgetting about the days events as they dozed off.


	50. Unexpected Expecting

James snuck into the flat, closing the door behind him quietly. He tiptoed to their bedroom and slipped into the room. He pulled off his shirt and pants, dropping them on the floor behind him, then slid into bed, causing Lily to stir.

She rolled over and blinked at him wearily. "What time is it?" she mumbled.

He looked at his watch as he wrapped an arm around her. "Almost two in the morning."

She groaned quietly.

"Sorry I was gone for so long," James continued. "We were tailing Death Eaters for hours before we got somewhere."

She rolled back over and moved so her back was pressed against his bare chest. "I'm just glad you're home safe," she whispered, already falling back asleep. He watched her for a moment, watching her belly rise and fall with each breath before he too started to drift off.

The next morning Lily woke up and shivered. It was mid December and the chill of winter had hit them quickly. She got up and pulled on a jumper and leggings before moving into the living room to light a fire and put the kettle on.

She popped some bread in the toaster and opened the fridge to grab a jar of jam. She opened it, smelling the sweet aroma of the strawberries and gagged. The smell made her nauseous. She frowned at the jar and smelled it again, causing her to dry heave into the sink and push the jar to the far side of the counter.

James came in, rubbing his eyes. She picked up the jar, holding it far away from her and handed it to him. "Smell this, has it gone bad?' she asked.

He held it to his nose and took a deep breath. It smelled like every other jar of strawberry jam he had seen. He shook his head. "No, it smells fine. Why?"

She frowned. "Smelling it made me gag," she said, moving back to the counter to grab the toast that had just finished.

James shrugged. "Maybe you just don't like strawberry jam anymore."

She nodded. "Maybe." They finished breakfast and Lily got dressed, wrapping herself in a coat and scarf before exiting their flat and walking to work.

She navigated the streets, getting more irritated than usual at the other pedestrians pushing past her and crowding her. It seemed everyone was trying to invade her personal space, and the smells of the city were worse today. She attributed it to the high volume of Christmas shoppers suddenly flooding the city in the weeks before the holiday.

After the short walk she finally reached her laboratory and stepped in. She hung up her scarf and coat on the hook. Tobias was seated at the table, looking over her notes from her last brew. He looked up when she came in. "Hullo Lily," he said cheerfully.

She smiled at him. "Hello, how are you?" she said brightly.

"Just fine, thank you, dear," he nodded at her scarf, "It's cold out there today, isn't it?" he asked.

She nodded and began pulling out ingredients from the closet on the opposite side of the room. "Winter has definitely come, that and all of the Christmas shoppers are out there," she said, almost ruefully.

"They always come in swarms, don't they?" he asked, chuckling. He watched her for a moment before patting his thighs and standing up. "Right. Well, I better get going. I have to meet with some sellers to get Acromantula venom. Not easy to get these days," he said, "Your notes and brews are looking great. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, sir. I will." Lily said back, placing the jars and bags on the table next to her many cauldrons. He nodded and grabbed his coat and hat before exiting the room, causing the burst of cold air to hit Lily and make her shiver.

Once he had closed the door Lily pulled a cauldron close to her and pulled out lizard eggs. The stench hit her nose and she gagged so hard she almost dropped the bottle. She quickly recapped it and frowned. Normally the smell didn't bother her.

She pinched her nose and opened the jar again, tilting it and tapping it lightly, causing the slimy eggs to slide out onto the scale. She got her required amount, recapped the bottle, and pushed the eggs into the cauldron. She cautiously let go of her nose and tried to breathe normally again.

She didn't gag this time, and reached over to open the container that had a few small frog brains in it, and the second she opened the lid, she dropped it, reaching for the nearest cauldron to vomit in.

She gripped the cauldron, heaving into it, breathing heavily. She vomited once more, then sat back. She looked at the frog brains on the floor and grabbed her wand, repairing the container and vanishing the mess. She did the same to the cauldron in her lap.

She sat for a moment, then set the cauldron back on the table and reached for her notebook and quill. She ripped out a page and scribbled a quick note to leave.

 _I'm so sorry sir, I seem to have a stomach bug._

 _I'm going home, but I'll come in over the weekend to make up for it._

 _Lily_

She left the note on the table and hurried back to her flat, feeling nauseous the entire time. She stepped in and James looked up. He frowned and stood up.

"Doe," she said quietly, satiating him. He looked at her, expecting an explanation. "I'm not feeling well- I threw up at work. I'm going to lay down," she said, crossing the room towards their bedroom.

James stood up. "I'll make you some ginger tea," he offered.

Lily thought of ginger tea and immediately had to run into the bathroom. She banged the door open and knelt by the toilet. James rushed in behind her. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "Please don't make me any tea," she said into the porcelain bowl.

James frowned. "Can I get you anything?" he asked.

She shook her head again. "No, I think I just need to rest."

He helped her to the bedroom and placed a wastebasket next to her, then left her alone. He went back to the kitchen and was about to sit down at the table when there was a knock on the door. He stood up and let Sirius and Remus in, verifying their identities.

"Try to be quiet- Lily's resting. She has some stomach bug or something," James said, sitting back at the table.

"Mad-Eye sent an owl. Said he was working on rounding up some of the Death Eaters we lost at the manor the other day if you want to come, Prongs," Sirius said.

James was about to say yes, but hesitated. "I would, but I don't want to leave Lily," he said, "She might need something while I'm gone."

"I can stay," Remus offered. "I just got back from something for Dumbledore and I don't really want to do another mission yet."

Sirius turned to face James again, raising his eyebrows. "You game?" James nodded and stood up, grabbing his coat from the hook.

"Will you tell her where we've gone and tell her I'll be back soon?" James asked Remus. He nodded and James and Sirius headed out the door, closing it with a click behind them.

Lily woke up some time later, having taken a short nap. She sat up and looked around, rubbing her eyes. "James?" she called out. She heard movement then looked up and saw Remus in the doorway. "Where's James?" she asked.

"He and Sirius ran out to do something for Dumbledore. Can I get you something?" he asked, shuffling awkwardly.

"Could you just grab me a glass of water? I think I'm feeling better," she said. He nodded, then returned a few moments later with a glass, handing it to Lily. She took it gratefully, sipping it slowly. "It's weird, I feel totally fine now," she said.

Remus frowned. "That's weird. Maybe it was something you ate?"

Lily shook her head, "I don't think so. I didn't eat anything I don't normally eat, and James had everything I did."

Remus sat down on the bed next to her. He reached out and felt her forehead. The back of his hand felt rough against her skin, and she could see some new scars on his arm that she hadn't seen before. He withdrew his hand and looked at her for a moment. "You don't feel warm," he said. "You look fine to me," he said.

"I feel fine," she repeated. "I don't get it, my stomach never gets upset."

Remus laughed. "Maybe you're pregnant," he joked.

Lily laughed along with him for a moment, then a strange feeling gripped her gut. She couldn't remember the last time she had menstruated. She looked down at her stomach and frowned.

"Lily?" Remus asked, watching her carefully.

She looked back up at him. "What if I am?"

"What?" he asked, his eyes wide.

She looked back down at her stomach. "I've been super tired, I've been nauseous, I-" her voice trembled.

Remus looked at her. "Well that could be normal, right? How can you tell if you're pregnant? What makes it different from," he hesitated, "you know?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't," she stopped, tears welling in her eyes.

Remus put his arm around her. "Lily, it's okay. We don't know yet, maybe you're not, maybe it's, I don't know, maybe you're just-"

He was interrupted by Lily's cry. "What do I do?" she asked, more to herself than to him.

"We should make sure you're actually pregnant first... Can we go see a doctor or something?" he asked.

She breathed heavily, trying to calm down. She was quiet for a long moment, staring at her stomach. "We can go to the store, they have pregnancy tests at Muggle pharmacies," she explained. She stood up and started putting on shoes, grabbing her bag from the dresser as she swiftly exited the room.

Remus followed her. "And that will tell you? They're accurate?"

Lily nodded, barely registering his question. "You always see them in movies, they seem to work."

"Should we be basing this off of movies?" he asked.

She wrapped her scarf around her neck and threw her hands up. "I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing!" she exclaimed, worried. She left the flat, Remus in tow.

They came out onto the street and the cold air stung Lily's eyes. She bit her lip and turned left, narrowly avoiding a couple coming out of a cab. She and Remus hurried down the street, ducking their heads in the cold wind until they reached a pharmacy down the road. Lily rushed in, looking around the store wildly. A stout lady approached them. "Can I help you find something, dearies?"

Lily opened her mouth, then closed it, frowning. Remus jumped in. "Do you have um," he lowered his voice, " _pregnancy tests?_ "

The woman's smile faded and she narrowed her eyes. "The aisle on the end, in the middle," she said curtly.

Lily pursed her lips and turned away without saying thank you. Remus followed her. "That was rude," she said quietly.

He nodded. "I guess we look young and irresponsible," he said.

Lily narrowed her eyes and turned the corner, not replying.

They reached the aisle and Lily stopped in front of the shelf with a small black sign that read 'At Home Pregnancy Tests.' She looked it up and down, suddenly overwhelmed. Dozens of pink boxes stared her down, mocking her naivety. They all proclaimed to be better than the competition, the most accurate, the fastest, each one more advanced than the last.

She froze, gawking at the shelf, her eyes darting from box to box. "Which one do I pick?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," Remus said, equally stunned. "They're all the same, right?"

She shook her head. "I don't know." She reached out to grab a box, but then pulled her hand back. "Should I just get a bunch?" She frowned, then grabbed three boxes, all of different brands. "Can't be too sure, I guess?" she said, attempting to laugh.

"Yeah, I guess," Remus said, scrutinizing at the boxes.

She nodded, then clutched the boxes to her chest and went back down the aisle to the front of the store. She hurried to the counter and stood in line, tapping her foot impatiently. An elderly couple was in front of them, chatting with the cashier about the cold weather. _It's mid bloody December, of course it's cold_ , she thought bitterly. She wanted to go home.

The couple left and she hurried to the counter, dumping the boxes onto its surface. The woman looked at the boxes, then at Lily, then at Remus. Lily raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to say something. He merely hook his head and rang up her purchase in silence, sliding the bag towards her once she paid.

Lily and Remus hurried back to the flat, Lily all but breaking into a run as she weaved through the people crowding the sidewalks.

They reached their door and Lily unlocked it, flinging it open and rushing inside. Remus followed her, shutting the door with a small _click_ , behind him. She dumped the bag's contents on the kitchen table, the three boxes spilling out onto the wood.

She stared at them for a moment, then gingerly picked up one, flipping it over. She read the instructions three times over, gripping the box tighter and tighter. She looked at the other two, then picked them up and carried them to the bathroom.

Remus followed her. "Do you, uh, do you need help?" he asked awkwardly.

Lily shook her head, still staring at the boxes. She flipped on the light and closed the door. She set the boxes on the counter, and began tearing them open. She slid out the three test sticks, holding them as if they might explode at any moment.

She followed the instructions, then set each stick on the edge of the sink, balancing them on the porcelain as she looked up at herself in the mirror. She stared for a minute, her lips and hands trembling. A soft knock at the door made her jump.

"Are you alright?" Remus' voice floated through the door.

Lily didn't answer, but instead unlocked the door and let him in. He looked at her face, then at the tests. He reached out and held her hand, and they both stood in silence, watching as colored lines formed on each of the stark white sticks.

They looked at each other and Remus squeezed Lily's hand before letting her go. She stepped forward and picked them up. "Two blue lines, what does that mean?" she asked.

Remus picked up the boxes individually and read them. He looked back up at her. "They all have two blue lines?" he asked. She nodded vigorously. "Lils, you're pregnant," he murmured.

She felt like her stomach fell out of her body. She gasped for breath, her voice sounding raspy. She started to cry and she sank to the floor.

Remus sat down next to her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I want my mum," she said quietly through tears.

"I'm sorry, Lily. It's okay. It's okay," he said, trying to console her.

They sat like that for a long time, Lily quietly crying onto his sweater, the knitted pattern absorbing each tear that spilled from her cheeks. Eventually, Remus stood up and went into the other room. Lily could hear his soft voice float from around the corner as he used James and Sirius' two way mirror.

"Pads, get James. Lily needs him," she heard him say, his voice low and urgent.

Remus came back into the bathroom and smiled down at her, offering his hand. She smiled and took it, standing up shakily. "Thanks," she murmured. They walked to the kitchen and Lily sat down at the table, and Remus put the kettle on. She watched the steam slowly rising from the spout, not actually seeing anything. "We can't bring a child into a war like this," she said, more to herself than to Remus.

He brought her a mug and she gratefully accepted it. "The war won't last forever, with the way the Order is going it could be over any day now," he said.

She looked up at him, blowing on the hot tea, causing small ripples to cascade across its surface. "Do you really think so?"

Remus shrugged, sitting down across from her. "It could be. We've been intercepting more and more plans all of the time and Dumbledore thinks he's onto whatever Voldemort has been trying to do. It very well could end soon. Maybe even before the baby is born," he said, attempting to smile.

She nodded. "I guess." She was quiet, watching her own distorted reflection in her tea, deep in thought. James slamming the door open and bursting into the room caused her to jump, pulling her back to reality.

He rushed over to her. "What, what is it? What's wrong? Are you okay? Do we need to take you to St. Mungo's?" he asked frantically.

She shook her head slowly. "I'm fine. I just have something to tell you," she said, looking down at her hands. Remus stood up and grabbed Sirius' hand, pulling him out of the flat. He nodded at Lily as he left, his expression reassuring. She smiled at him, giving him a small wave goodbye.

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," she whispered.

James' eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant," she repeated, watching his face.

He opened his mouth again, then closed it, then opened it again. He looked down at her stomach. "For how long?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, I just took one of those pharmacy tests. I don't know anything, James, I'm really-"

She was interrupted by him pulling her into a hug. "Lily, this is amazing!" he exclaimed. "You're pregnant! Look at you!" He pulled back and put his hand on her stomach, though there was barely any protrusion.

She frowned. "You aren't upset?"

He laughed. "Lils, why would I be upset? This is great, I've always wanted kids!" He looked at her, beaming.

"But what about everything going on?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and pushed his hand away. "The war! We can't bring a kid into the world when we're fighting for our lives here, James."

"We don't-"

She continued, "And not to mention we don't know the first thing about being parents, and we're only nineteen, and there's no room for a baby in this flat, and my job doesn't pay that much, but you can't get a job if you want to keep working for the Order, and if we have a baby we can't keep working for the Order because we won't have any time, and what if we die and the baby gets put in foster care, or what if-"

"Shh," James said, pulling her back into a hug and stroking her hair. "You're right, we don't know anything about being parents. But we have my parents to help us, and I think we're smart enough to figure some things out our own."

"But-"

"And we don't need jobs, my parents will support us no matter what. We can keep working for the Order even if we have a kid, plenty other Order members do it."

"What about-"

"It doesn't matter that we're only nineteen, people have been having kids that young for centuries. Sure, we don't have as much life experience, but I doubt any amount of working or school prepares you to have a baby."

"What if-"

"And if we die my parents will take care of the baby, or Sirius and Remus and Peter will. Lily, it's okay. I know it seems scary, but we can do it, I know we can," he said, pulling back and looking into her big, green eyes. "You're going to be an amazing mum."

She smiled at that, the idea making her heart flutter, but it soon faded away. "You didn't address the part about this flat being too small," she said.

He shrugged. "We'll move."

She tilted her head and nodded. Everything he was saying making a lot of sense to her. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to do this," he said carefully. She bit her lip. "But I know you want kids, and I want kids, and yes, this may not seem like the best time, but if you're constantly waiting for the right time to do something, you'll never do it."

She nodded along with his words, suddenly feeling much calmer than she did before. "You're right," she said.

He squeezed her against him. "What do you want to do?" he asked, his chest vibrating against hers with each word.

She thought for a long moment, breathing in the smell of James' soap, her heart beating rapidly. She thought about everything he had just said, as well as her own reservations. More than anything, she wanted to talk to her mother. She knew her mother would have had so many words of wisdom to share with her and she wished she could talk to her one last time. A tear fell down her cheek and she reached up to swipe it away. She looked up at James and smiled. "I want to have a baby," she said.

He grinned and leaned down, pulling her into a kiss. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too."

"No Lily, let me get that for you," James said, rushing to her side to grab the small box in her hands.

She scoffed. "It weighs like one kilo, James. I'm not going to strain myself."

He took it from her anyways, draping his arm around her. "I'm not letting my pregnant wife carry the Christmas presents," he said. He had taken every opportunity to say the words 'my pregnant wife.' He had started telling random people, like the cashier at the Tesco down the road, or their neighbors, that Lily was pregnant. Lily was usually close behind, rolling her eyes at him.

James picked up the rest of the boxes and nodded towards the fireplace. Lily stepped into the grate, throwing down a handful of Floo powder as she did. "Potter Estate," she said loudly.

James watched her disappear and bit his lip. He wasn't sure how flooing affected the baby. He stepped into the grate too, and disappeared just as quickly.

He stepped out onto the marble floor of his childhood home's living room and was immediately pulled into a hug by Euphemia. "Oh Jamesy, it's been too long," she said, her words muffled his scarf pressed against her face.

He laughed. "It's only been a few weeks, Mum," he said. He let go of her and set the presents on the table. "Happy Christmas."

"That's too long," she said, frowning at him. "How are things? How's work, dear?" she asked, turning to face Lily.

Lily nodded. "It's going really well. Things with the Order are going well too," she said.

Euphemia beamed at her, then clapped her hands together. "Well, come on in! The elves have dinner all ready for us, and I want to hear everything that's been happening," she said. Fleamont started to rise from his seat on the couch, but James stopped them.

"Actually, Mum, Dad, we were hoping that you would open presents first," James said, handing them each two small packages wrapped in silver paper.

Fleamont raised an eyebrow at him, but took the package. "Any particular reason why?" he asked.

Lily giggled. "Just open them."

They both started pulling open the paper on their packages. Euphemia pulled her box out and opened the lid, revealing a white mug. She gave them a funny look, and turned the mug around to reveal the words "World's Best Grandma" in black, block lettering.

She stared at it in confusion, and looked over at Fleamont. He had a matching mug, with "World's Best Grandpa" on the face. She looked at Fleamont, then at James, then her eyes landed on Lily. Lily nodded and Euphemia gasped, almost dropping the mug.

"You're pregnant?" she exclaimed.

Lily nodded again. "We just found out a couple of weeks ago," she said. Euphemia squealed and jumped up, rushing over to hug Lily. Lily laughed and hugged her back.

"I didn't even think we would be parents, and now we're going to be grandparents!" she said, excitedly. "Oh Lily, I'm so excited for you. I've kept so much of James' old baby things, we can go through it and you can take whatever you want."

Fleamont came over and hugged Lily as well. "Congratulations, dear."

"Thank you," she said, grinning. Euphemia already had her hand on Lily's stomach.

Euphemia suddenly looked up, frowning. "You aren't going to raise a baby in London are you? In that tiny flat?" she asked.

James shrugged. "We were thinking of moving, but we haven't really looked into it. This all came on pretty fast."

"It'll go faster than you think, James," Euphemia said. "You have to start preparing everything now."

Fleamont cleared his throat, and the other three looked at him. "If you two would be amenable to living in Godric's Hollow, we would be happy to give you the cottage we still have down there," he said.

Lily looked at James. "Godric's Hollow? Like Godric Gryffindor?"

James nodded. "It's where Dumbledore is from, and Bathilda Bagshot," he explained.

Lily's eyes widened. "Bathilda Bagshot lives there?"

Fleamont laughed. "She lives right down the road. Used to pop in for tea now and again."

"Why didn't you introduce me to Bathilda Bagshot?" Lily accused James, narrowing her eyes.

He put his hands up. "The thought didn't really occur to me. She was just some old lady that had tea with my parents sometimes, I don't know," he said.

"'Some old lady,' James?" Lily shook her head. "Bathilda Bagshot is the author of _A History of Magic_ , she is _not_ just 'some old lady.' She's chronicled almost all of wizard history; she's a legend!"

James smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "I promise we'll introduce you to Bathilda, okay?" She nodded. He turned to Fleamont. "Are you sure, Dad?"

"Of course," Fleamont said. "Mia and I haven't used it in years. We never got around to selling it."

"And we would love for our grandbaby to grow up in it- it's such a pleasant little town," Euhpemia said, patting Lily's stomach again.

"Thank you so much, Fleamont, Euphemia. We would be so grateful," Lily said, looking at them both. "You're too kind to us."

Fleamont chuckled and started ushering them into the dining hall. "Nonsense, dear. Come on now, the elves are waiting on us. I'm sure Mia can give you all sorts of pregnancy advice at the dinner table."

"Have you had morning sickness, Lily? How bad has it been? I had terrible morning sickness when I was pregnant with Jamesy! I was sick as a dog," she lamented.

Lily nodded, following James and Fleamont. "I've had some. It hasn't been too bad, mostly just being nauseous. The smells at work make it terrible though."

Euphemia _tsk_ ed and launched into a whole list of tips and tricks to help ward off nausea and other things to expect now that she was pregnant. James looked back and her and winked and she smiled at him.

She looked down at her slightly protruded stomach and ran her hand over it. With Euphemia's endless string of advice and the knowledge that they would have both of James' parents to help them, Lily suddenly felt extremely excited for the baby growing inside of her.


	51. Not Alone

Lily stood in the center of the now-empty living room, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach. She was now five months along, and her stomach looked as if she had stuffed a Quaffle under shirt.

She was pulled out of her reverie by James coming behind her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled. "Ready?" he asked, grinning.

She nodded. "I was just saying goodbye." He set his chin on top of her head and they stood together, each saying goodbye to the flat that had housed them for over a year. "It's so weird, isn't it?" she asked. "We're about to move into a house, have a baby, we're married, it just seems so…" she trailed off unsure of a word to describe the way she felt. It seemed as if everything was coming at them so suddenly.

James didn't reply, but rather spun her around and kissed her. "It seems perfect to me, Mrs. Potter."

She rolled her eyes. "You're cheesy."

He laughed. "Come on, we've got a house to move into." He grabbed her hand and turned on the spot, the pair of them Apparating and disappearing from their flat with a loud _crack_.

They reappeared in the front yard of the cottage the Potters had gifted them. They no longer had to Apparate into back alleys and hide from the Muggles of London. Everyone in the town was magical, and Lily swore she could almost feel it in the atmosphere of the town. Almost like the magic permeated the very air.

She didn't move for a moment, admiring the cottage. It was two stories tall, white with wooden stripes running down the facade. Two chimneys bookended the house, and the windows had delicate diamond patterns obscuring the glass. "It's perfect," she whispered.

James squeezed her hand tighter, then lead the way into the house. He opened the door and they stepped in. Right inside was a staircase leading to the upstairs, and to the left was their living room, which lead into the kitchen beyond it. James had already used magic to move in their furniture, but boxes of small knick knacks and other miscellaneous items remained to be sorted out.

James pulled her upstairs and turned right, opening a door to a small room with a window that overlooked the forest behind them. "I thought this could be the baby's room," he said, gesturing, "we could put the crib here, and we could put a chair over here, and maybe a toy box here." He moved around the room, miming where items could go.

She beamed, he was so excited to have this baby. "And we could all go on walks in the forest back there," she said, pointing.

James nodded excitedly. "And picnics in the backyard," he added. He came up behind Lily and hugged her, resting his chin on her head. "And he can bring his friends over, and once he gets to Hogwarts he'll be on the quidditch team and he can practice in the field back there."

Lily looked up at him, grining. "He?"

James paused, then shrugged. "Well if it's a she, then once _she_ gets to Hogwarts _she'll_ be on the quidditch team and _she_ can practice in the field back there."

Lily laughed. "Are you going to turn all of our children into mini jock versions of you? What if they want to study for Potions in the library?"

"They can do that, too. They can do whatever they want." James kissed her forehead as she turned to face him. "I'll just love the ones on the quidditch team more."

Lily smacked his chest. "James!"

He pretended to be hurt, laughing through his fake pout. "I'm kidding, Lils. I'm going to love them no matter what." She rested her head on his chest and he slid his hands down to hold her slightly-protruding belly. "I'll always love them and be there for them."

Lily took a deep breath and blinked away tears starting to form. She was extremely emotional these days. She stepped back and looked up at him. "Let's get started on unpacking those boxes down there, yeah?"

James nodded and took her hand, leading her down the stairs into the living room. They sat and unpacked boxes, discussing where things should go, whether or not this vase would look better on the table or on the mantel, feeling extremely grown-up, despite their young age.

Lily suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion. She was constantly tired these days. _Pregnancy really takes it out of you_ , she thought. She stood up and collapsed onto the couch, sighing heavily.

James stood up to join her, but was interrupted by the sound of tapping at the window. He turned and saw a brown owl pecking the kitchen window lightly but insistently.

He crossed the room and opened the window, letting the bird hop in. He took the scroll from the bird's leg, using his index finger to stroke the bird's head as he did so. He read over the short letter, frowning.

"What is it?" Lily asked from her spot on the couch.

"Apparently my parents have dragon pox. They said we shouldn't come over for dinner this weekend," he said, reaching for a scrap piece of parchment and quill.

Lily watched him scribble a reply. "That's a shame, I hope they're okay."

"I'm sure they're fine. Maybe I'll go see them for a bit, see if they need anything," he said, attaching the parchment to the owl's leg and letting it out of the window. "Dragon pox usually isn't serious," he said as he closed the window and came to sit next to her, "but they don't want to take any chances with the baby. Dragon pox isn't studied very well, so there's no telling what could happen if you got it and somehow passed it on to the baby."

Lily's heart skipped a beat and she instinctively moved her hand to cover her stomach. James aw her eyes widen and held her hand. "Don't worry Lils, you'll both be fine."

Lily nodded, laughing at her own worry. "I just feel so protective. Everything worries me."

"Easy there, mama Hippogriff," James said, stroking her hair.

Lily rolled her eyes.

Once Lily had sat for a moment they resumed their unpacking, working from room to room until the cottage started to feel like their home.

The owl returned and James took the scroll, handing it a treat he had just found in one of the boxes. The owl screeched and took it, the crunching echoing through the almost empty future nursery. James' brow knitted together as he read it. "They don't want me to visit them, they don't want me passing anything on to you," he said.

"I'll be fine, I'm sure," she said. "You should go see them. If they're both sick they might need help or someone to take them to St. Mungo's."

James thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I'm sure they're fine. They said in the letter they're just feeling a bit under the weather. Plus they have the house elves to get them whatever they need."

Lily nodded. "That's true. And you said dragon pox isn't serious, so I'm sure they'll be better by next week."

"Are your ankles swollen too?" Alice asked her, looking down at her own stomach.

Lily nodded. "It's awful," she said. "I had to to use _engorgio_ on my shoes the other day."

Alice laughed. "My isn't that bad, but it's certainly not comfortable." She shook her head. "How funny is it that we both got pregnant at the same time?" Alice asked, reaching for Lily's hand across the table.

"Though you actually planned yours," Lily said, feeling slightly ashamed.

Alice shook her head again. "Just because your baby wasn't planned doesn't mean you won't love them all the same." She moved her hand to pat Lily's slightly protruding stomach and Lily laughed.

"I was scared at first, but I think I'm excited. James has been amazing, I think he's more excited than I am. He's been decorating the nursery, reading parenting books." She smiled and sat back against her wooden chair. They were all meeting in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for instructions. James and Sirius were across the room, quietly discussing something. She looked around the room. Everyone looked different than the last time she saw them. More people had dark circles under their eyes; everyone seemed to have a permanently furrowed brow.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She tried not to think about how worried she was to bring a child into this world during this war, but subtle instances like this one seemed constantly reminding her of their irresponsibility.

The door slammed open and everyone jumped, hands instinctively flying towards their wands. Some even stood up, ready for anything. Alastor Moody stepped in, his false leg making loud thuds on the dirty stone floors of the pub.

His magical eye swiveled in its socket wildly, no doubt surveying everyone present. After a moment he coughed and his gravelly voice boomed across the silent room. "Been tailing some Death Eaters for days. We think they're going to attempt another attack, this time in a Muggle shopping area."

A couple quiet gasps punctuated his sentence, causing his eye to swing rapidly to find the source. "Main point of this mission is to be as undetected as possible. The more Muggles we prevent from seeing anything, the better off we'll be. If that's not the case though," he looked around the room, "I hope you've all brushed up on your memory spells."

People shifted uncomfortably. Erasing memories was always a dicey topic. Alastor ignored the change in mood and nodded. "Everyone ready?"

People got to their feet and put their coats on. James crossed the room and held Lily's hand before they turned and Apparated to the spot discussed earlier.

They landed heavily on the cobblestone. Lily leaned against the brick wall for support, breathing heavily. Apparating was getting harder and harder the more pregnant she became.

James squeezed her shoulder, and Lily stood up straight. They exited the back alley they had appeared in and slipped into the crowd, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Lily kept her eyes up, spotting Marlene and Dorcas not far from them.

James looked around behind them, seeing Sirius and Peter leaning against a wall, covertly eyeing everyone else around them. He scanned the area, looking for anything, or anyone, that seemed out of place.

Mostly it seemed to be Muggles hustling from store to store. James spotted a mother holding a baby in her arms and pulling a toddler behind her. His stomach clenched. He hoped she would be gone before anything happened here.

Every time he saw children he instinctively felt protective- a side effect from Lily's pregnancy, no doubt. He kept imagining how horrible it would be to lose their baby, and it wasn't even born yet. He shuddered, trying to shake the thought away.

Lily touched his hand and he nodded at her, following her to a more crowded area, his eyes surveying the place as he did. A shout made Lily jump and grip her wand harder, but it was simply a child calling after his mother. She took a deep breath and moved to lean against a wall. Her and James pretended to have a conversation, both keeping an eye out for any trouble as they half-heartedly discussed the weather or whether or not they liked split pea soup.

It happened quickly. A black flash burst in front of them, shattering the glass windows of a shop nearby. and landed on the ground with a puff of smoke, materializing into a cloaked man with a silver skull mask. Death Eaters.

All around Muggles were screaming and running in different directions. Lily rushed forward, pointing them to the exits, trying to get between them and the multiplying Death Eaters.

She shot a stunning spell at a Death Eater advancing at them, causing him to drop to the floor. The Muggle woman she was standing next to screamed and ran away from Lily, hopefully away from the fight.

James had lost Lily, and was pushing through the crowds, trying to get clear shots at the Death Eaters without hitting any Muggles. He saw Remus on the other side of the building, throwing hexes at a Death Eater. James ran to try to help him, but a Death Eater appeared in front of him before he could.

Immediately James threw up a shield spell, reflecting whatever curse the Death Eater had just sent his way. He sent a stunning spell back, but missed. He cursed. He had to be extra careful not to hit anyone else in the vicinity.

He fought with him for a few moments more, finally hitting him with a full-body bind, causing him to drop to the ground with a _thud_.

James silently cheered and moved on, looking for Remus or Lily or Sirius or Peter. He turned his head wildly from side to side, searching. He groaned in frustration as he was pushed around by the crowd, people running every direction trying to escape.

"Go!" he yelled at the people surrounding him. "Get out, run as far as you can!"

A woman fell over and he yanked her up, maybe harder than he should. "GO!" he yelled again. She nodded, tears in her eyes, running away from him.

He cursed and looked around again for his friends, not seeing anyone. He kept fighting his way through, trying his best to throw off Death Eaters and making sure the Muggles got out.

He heard a blood-curdling scream and his whipped around, afraid of what he might see.

A Muggle had been hoisted into the air, her body wriggling pathetically as she clawed at her throat. "STOP!" James yelled, but his voice was masked by the shouts of everyone around him.

He tore his eyes from the Muggle and saw the familiar waxen face that had haunted him for years now.

Voldemort.

Voldemort watched the Muggle with fascination, as someone might watch an ant crawl across a forest floor. It sickened James. Voldemort's face contorted into what could only be understood as a smile, though it was grotesque.

James rushed forward, throwing random hexes at Voldemort, watching them bounce off of an invisible shield weakly.

Voldemort sighed and flicked his wand, causing the neck of the Muggle to break with a loud _snap_. Her body fell to the ground, limp. Voldemort turned to face James, looking annoyed that he had interrupted his time with the Muggle.

However, when he recognized who his assailant was, he smiled again, the skin of his face stretching over his bones in a way that made James want to vomit.

"Potter," he said, as if he was greeting an old friend. "How good of you to join us." He walked forward, and James stumbled back, keeping his wand aloft. Voldemort shook his head, his smile gone. "Don't be rude," he said, flicking his wand and causing James to be frozen where he stood. "Now, Potter, where is your lovely bride?" He cackled, the shrill sound piercing James' ears.

"Right here," Lily said, as she threw a stunning spell at him.

Voldemort just barely deflected it. Anger flashed across his face before he resumed his calm demeanor. "Ah, Lily." His eyes moved downward. "I suppose I must offer my," he hesitated, his face contorting. "Congratulations." He gestured towards her stomach. Lily's hands instinctively covered her bump. He barked out a laugh. "You are both so foolish." He laughed again. "You were both already so weak, and now you have _that,_ " he referenced their unborn child with contempt. "It only makes you weaker."

"You're wrong," James said, fighting against the body-binding spell. "You're the weak one, Tom."

Voldemort's eyes flashed and he yelled out, throwing a spell at Lily. She was thrown back against a wall, hitting her head against the hard brick. She gasped, and slumped over, clutching her head.

"No!" James yelled.

"See?" Voldemort shook his head, walking slowly towards James. "You care for her, and that makes you weak. You feel as if you must protect her. She is nothing but a liability to you, James."

James shook his head. "Just because you can't feel love doesn't make those who can weak," he retorted. "Once we defeat you, you will be nothing. No one will remember you, you won't have a legacy. You will be _nothing_ ," he spat.

Voldemort yelled and lifted his wand, about to send a curse right into James' chest.

He was suddenly thrown back, Dorcas standing across from him, wand held high.

James fell, Voldemort's body-bind spell broken.

Dorcas continued, throwing curses at Voldemort, him barely being able to hold them back.

James joined her, both of them assaulting him. He threw ever curse he knew, hoping one would stick.

Voldemort froze, and James thought one of them had finally hit him, but he turned, disappearing into a puff of smoke and flying away shattering several windows of the shopping center as he did.

James panted, his hands on his knees. He cursed. Voldemort had gotten away, again. He stood up and saw Lily, still slumped against the wall. His heart leapt to his throat and he ran to her, kneeling down. "Lily!" He cupped her face. "Lily, are you alright? Are you hurt? Lily? Lily what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "James, I'm fine. I just hit my head." She pushed his hands away. "It's nothing." She smiled, then grabbed her head, her vision still blurry. The room was spinning and she tried to focus on a spot on the floor, hoping her dizziness would subside quickly.

James looked at her and she nodded again, this time actually meaning that she was okay. Her head was still throbbing, but she could see clearly again. "I'm fine. I really am." She placed her hands beside her, about to get up.

James gave her a hard look. "I don't want you going on missions any more."

She laughed. "Yeah, alright. Help me stand up." She put her hand on the ground and attempted to shift her weight so she could get to her feet.

James kept his hand firm on her shoulder, not allowing her to move. "I don't want you going on missions any more," he repeated. "It's not safe for the baby. What if you fell on your stomach? Or got hit?"

Lily's brows furrowed together, glaring at James. "Well I didn't. I'm fine, so help me stand up."

"I'm serious Lily, you have to think about the baby. I don't want you to lose him just because of a stupid mission."

"I'm not losing anything. I told you, I'm _fine_ ," she said, getting angry. Who was he to tell her what she could and couldn't do?

He sighed, exasperated. "You're being selfish, it's not just about you anymore, you're carrying my child and-"

Lily's eyes widened. " _Your child?_ "

James shook his head, attempting to back track. "No, I mean our child, I just don't-"

"I'm not being selfish, James," she retorted. "I'm trying to stop this bloody war that's happening around us so that _your child_ can have a better place to grow up!" She shoved his hand off and awkwardly got to her feet, her stomach throwing her balance.

James took a step back. "I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not saying that. I'm saying that while you are carrying another human life in you, you should be careful," he tried to reach out to her but she took a step back.

"Oh really? Is that what I'm doing?" She looked down at her stomach and pretended to look shocked. "Is that what this is? Is that why I threw up every time I woke up for months? Is that why my shoes you don't fit? Is that why my back is in constant pain? Is that why I feel like yelling and crying and laughing all at the same time?" She laughed. "Thank you for telling me, I had no idea!"

"You're acting crazy, come on-"

" _Crazy_?" Lily's face turned as red as her hair. She glared at James and took a deep breath. "Fine." She turned on her heel and Disapparated, leaving James behind.

James threw his hands up and turned around, stopping when he saw Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing behind him. Sirius was holding in laughter, Remus was shaking his head, and Peter looked frightened. James scoffed. "She's being ridiculous!"

"You should never call a woman crazy, let alone a pregnant woman," Remus said, still shaking his head.

Sirius starting laughing loudly. "Yeah Prongs, you got a death wish?"

"Oh now I'm irrational for wanting her to take care of our unborn child?" James said, exasperated.

"You better go apologize, Prongs. I don't think you're going to win this one," Peter said quietly.

James glared at him for a second, but then sighed heavily. "Yeah, alright." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before putting them back on. "I'll catch up with you later. Tell Mad-Eye we had to go and I'll submit a report later."

"Good luck," Sirius said, still laughing. "Judging by the color of her face, I think you'll be lucky if she even lets you in the house."

James made a rude gesture before turning and Disapparating.

He appeared in front of the house, his feet hitting the soft grass of the front lawn. He shook his head and made his way towards the door.

He opened it and saw Lily sitting on the couch, folding laundry. "Lily-" he started, but she looked up and glared, silencing him. He held his hands up in defense and moved past her to the kitchen.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" He called behind him. Lily didn't answer. He sighed and got down two mugs, deciding it would be best to make one for her anyway. He watched the kettle boil until a tap on the window pulled him from his reverie. He looked up and saw a brown owl pecking the window to be let in.

He rolled his eyes as he moved to open the window, thinking it was probably a note from Mad-Eye. He detached the note from the owl's leg and unfurled it.

His stomach dropped.

Lily came into the kitchen at that moment. "I just think it's funny how-" she stopped when she saw his face. She crossed the room and touched his arm. "What is it?"

James reread the note again and shook his head. "It's, it's my parents, they're," he sucked in a shaky breath, "they're dead."

Lily's eyes went wide. "What?"

He handed her the note. "It's from St. Mungo's. The, the dragon pox, it was more serious than they thought... they want me to go," he shuddered, "they want me to go collect their bodies."

He stood, unmoving, stunned.

"That's not possible! We just saw them, they said not to come see them because they were fine," she trailed off, rereading the note, looking for anything that might show that this wasn't real.

James stared at Lily's hands clutching the note, his mind blank. He couldn't speak; he couldn't move. "We just," he struggled to find the words. "I don't," he closed his mouth. There was no way this was real. This was some cruel joke someone was playing on him, some tactic by the Death Eaters to lure them out of hiding.

Lily kept shaking her head, her lips trembling. "What," she frowned, rereading the note once again. "What are you going to do?"

James blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Do we go to St. Mungo's? Do we contact someone? What do we do?" she asked, her mind going a thousand miles a minute.

James shook his head. "I don't, I don't know, I don't know what we do, I don't-" his voice caught in his throat and he had to take a deep breath.

Lily looked up at him, fear in her eyes. "James. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head again, then took the note and read it. "Why didn't anyone tell me they went to St. Mungo's?" he said angrily. He cursed.

"I don't know, maybe it was really sudden, maybe we missed the note or something?" she said quietly, trying to make sense of the situation.

"We're in this house all fucking day! We never go anywhere except to follow Moody around on his dumb fucking missions! Why didn't anyone tell me my fucking parents were admitted to the god damn hospital?" he yelled, slamming his hand on the counter. Lily jumped. He looked at her and sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, it's fine. I understand," she said, remembering her outburst in her home shortly after her mother's death. She felt a stab in her chest as the emotions came back, this time twice-fold.

He looked at the owl sitting perched on their window, watching the pair of them carefully. "I guess we go to St. Mungo's," he murmured.

Lily frowned. "Well we need to think of what to do with their um," she paused, trying to put it delicately.

"Their corpses?" James said, the words hoarse. He felt like throwing up.

Lily sighed; there was no way of tip-toeing around this. "Yes." She reached out to touch his arm. "What do wizards um, do, with-"

James' jaw tightened. "They have a plot. The rest of the Potters are buried there." He took another deep breath. "I guess we plan a funeral? I don't know how this works," he said.

"I do," Lily whispered. "I'll do it."

"No, Lily-"

She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Yes." She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "You need to let Sirius know."

James' stomach flipped and he gripped the sink, breathing heavily.

"James?"

Her question was interrupted by him vomiting into the sink. She jumped and grabbed a towel, handing it to him. He bent over the sink, heaving into it, crying and panting. She filled a glass with water and set it next to him, rubbing his back.

"James, you're scaring me, do you need-"

He took the towel and wiped his face, then turned on the sink and splashed water around the basin, cleaning them mess. He shook his head, then nodded slowly. "I'll, I'll let Sirius know." He walked away suddenly before Lily could say anything else.

She stood in the kitchen, staring at the sink, unsure of what to do. She heard muffled voices in the other room and knew that James was using their two-way mirror to tell Sirius the bad news.

She heard Sirius' voice cry out and tears pricked her eyes. She started to sob quietly.

 _How many more people do we have to lose?_ She thought.

After the funeral Lily and James sat in their kitchen, James staring out the window. His tie was undone, his hair disheveled. He had been drinking.

He barely registered an owl tapping at their window insistently. Lily looked at him for a moment, then when she realized he wasn't going to do anything, she stood up and crossed the room to open the window and let the owl hop in.

She stroked its head as she detached the long scroll from its leg. She read it once, slowly and carefully. She looked back up at James, who was still staring out the window. "James," Lily said, softly touching his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but they say you have to deal with the estate, the house, the elves, all of that."

James didn't look at her, shaking his head. "Tell them I don't want it."

"They left it to you in their will-"

"Yeah well I don't want it," he said, trying to hold back the annoyance in his voice. "Give it to whatever Potter or Peverell is next. Give it to the McKinnons, I don't care."

Lily frowned. "I suppose I could tell them to find your next of kin."

He pushed off his seat, causing her hand to drop. He walked out the back door. "Tell them whatever to do whatever the fuck they want. I don't care." The door slammed behind him, leaving Lily in silence to look over the letter in her hands.

She sighed and stood, crossing the house to grab a roll of parchment from a cabinet. She dipped her quill in ink and penned a short reply stating James' wishes.

She knew they would keep the vault the Potters had left them; there was enough money in there to make sure that neither the two of them nor their child had to work, if they didn't want to. As for the house and elves, she stated that they should be given to James' next of kin, and if there wasn't one to be found, he bequeathed the estate to the McKinnon family.

She finished the reply and read over it once, then signed James' name for him. He didn't need to deal with this right now.

She tied the reply to her owl's leg and sent her off with a treat, then turned to put the kettle on. She looked out the kitchen window, looking to see if she could see James anywhere. She didn't see him and concluded that he must have gone into the forest or wandered into town.

The kettle whistled and she shook her head, clearing her thoughts before turning to pour the boiling water into a mug. She felt so horribly for James. She knew he blamed himself, and how guilty he felt for not going to visit them before they passed.

She dipped a tea bag into the mug and watched the leaves soak up the water. _Both of our parents are dead,_ she thought. The thought made tears prick the corners of her eyes before she quickly wiped them away. A sudden fear gripped her chest and she moved her hand instinctively to her stomach. _Who will take care of our baby if we die?_

Once Lily became pregnant she had assumed that the Potters would care for Harry if she or James were killed in the war, or if something else tragic happened. But now they were alone, no family to take care of their child. She suddenly realized that wasn't true. Petunia and Vernon were technically her next of kin.

She shuddered at the thought of Petunia raising her child. As soon as the baby started to show any signs of magic, Petunia might kick him out, or worse. Vernon would throw an eleven year old out on the street before he raised a witch or wizard.

She felt something drip on her arm and she noticed she had been crying. She laughed slightly, then pulled her sleeve to wipe her wet cheeks. She was worrying for nothing. They would be fine, and she didn't have to worry about who was going to raise their baby.

She looked out the window one last time, hoping to see James. When she didn't she turned and retreated to the living room to read and sip her tea.

James shoved his hands in his pockets and pulled his jacket tighter. He watched his feet move, taking steps almost without him willing it. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized where he had wandered to. He looked around, realizing he had ended up in the middle of the forest, completely surrounded by trees.

He took a deep breath, breathing in the cool scent of the forest. It calmed him, being in the woods. He looked around, finding a fallen tree to sit on for a while. He watched an ant crawl along the bark in seemingly erratic patterns, searching for food.

He looked up at the gray sky just barely poking through the trees and sighed. He wanted to go back to a week ago, and see his parents one last time. Tears slipped down his face and he reached up, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

He didn't feel like doing anything. He didn't want to deal with the estate, he didn't want to acknowledge their deaths. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

A sudden feeling of guilt crept up on him. _When Lily's mum died she dealt with all of this on her own_ , he thought. He didn't know how she did it. He wanted to crawl under this log and sleep until he didn't feel the pain anymore.

He sat like that for a long time, not noticing the cold, or the dark starting to settle in around him. He breathed quietly, thinking of nothing and everything all at the same time. He couldn't focus on a thought. It seemed as soon as he could think clearly, it slipped away, leaving his head in a fog. He wanted to scream, but couldn't find the energy. He wanted to cry, but his body wouldn't will it.

The sun had been set for a long time before he finally mustered up the ability to move.

He slowly made his way back to the house, secretly hoping Lily had already gone to bed and that he wouldn't have to talk to her.

He reached the back door and quietly opened it, slipping into their dark kitchen. He made his way into the living room and spotted Lily on the couch, wringing her hands.

"James!" she said in surprise. "Where have you been? I was so worried," she struggled to stand up and crossed the room.

He brushed her off and shook his head. "I'm sorry Lils, I can't." He pushed past her and made his way upstairs, leaving her alone.

He pulled off his shoes and laid down in bed, making a silent vow to never move from this spot again.

A week had passed since the funeral, and Lily was standing in the living room, frowning at a sock on the floor. She was at the stage in her pregnancy where if something was on the floor, it stayed there until James or someone else could retrieve it for her.

There was a sudden knock on the door and she jumped. She pulled out her wand and slowly opened the door, revealing Sirius and Remus on the other side. They smiled half-heartedly at her. "Dog," Sirius said.

"Wolf," Remus said, both of them answering her security questions before she could even get them out. They had been in this state of paranoia for long it had become mundane.

She stepped aside to let them in. "James is upstairs," she said, knowing Sirius was about to ask. He nodded and turned, heading towards Lily and James' bedroom.

"How are you?" Remus asked, picking up the sock on the floor and handing it to her before he sat down on their couch.

She thanked him, then sat down too. She shrugged. "We're okay." She lowered her voice. "James is struggling. He hasn't left the room for a couple of days. I can barely get him to eat. I don't know what I can do."

Remus sighed. "I don't think there's anything you can do, Lils. People grieve in their own ways. James was worried about you after your mum died, we all were. You wouldn't eat or sleep or sit down either," he said gently.

Lily nodded, realizing he was right. "I just feel so useless. I wish there was something I could do to help him."

Remus put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. "Just be there for him when he needs you. That's all you can do."

Lily nodded, watching Sirius' retreating form ascend the stairs.

He made his way down the hallway and knocked softly on the slightly ajar bedroom door. "James?" He called softly.

"What?" James replied waspishly.

Sirius stepped into the room. James was sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed, staring out the window on the opposite side. He had his arms wrapped around his knees, his gaze hard. "I just wanted to see if you were okay." James grunted. "Do you want to talk?"

"No. No I don't," he retorted. He didn't look at Sirius.

Sirius sighed and leaned against the shut door. "I really think it would be good-"

"I don't care what you think, Sirius. I just lost my fucking parents. They're literally just gone and I was an idiot who didn't even go see them before they died." His voice cracked and he ran his hand across his face, wiping away tears as quickly as they came. He wanted Sirius to leave. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I know, I-"

James cut him off again, finally looking at him. His anger made his hands shake as his eyes bore into Sirius'. "No, you don't fucking know. You have absolutely no idea how this feels." No one knew how he felt, he just wanted to be left to grieve in peace.

"They were my parents too, James," Sirius said quietly.

James opened his mouth to reply, but saw Sirius' face and stopped. His stomach immediately clenched. His anger dissipated and was replaced with guilt. In his grief he had forgotten that he wasn't alone, that Sirius had to be grieving just as much as him. "I'm sorry. I know, I didn't mean-"

"I know." Sirius crossed the room and sat down next to him, leaning his head against the bed. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. They were red, swollen, and puffy from the hours he had spent crying. "I miss them, Pads." It felt good to talk to Sirius, to know they were feeling the same thing. He hadn't said anything to anyone in days.

"Me too," Sirius said, getting choked up. "I hadn't seen them in so long, we've all been so busy with the missions and our lives. I said Remus and I were going to come 'round for tea at some point, but we never," he trailed off, not able to finish.

James nodded. "Lils and I were supposed to see them, but they were worried about giving dragon pox to Lily or the baby." Tears came again. "They aren't going to meet our kid," he whispered. "We got them mugs that said that they were grandparents on them." His chest hurt to think of those mugs, probably sitting on their counter. He thought about how excited they were to meet the baby, to be grandparents. James choked back a sob.

Sirius pat James' back. "I know, I'm sorry."

"It's not fair, Pads. Of all of the people-" he sucked in a breath. "Of all of the times..."

Sirius nodded. "It's not fucking fair." He laughed bitterly. "Why couldn't Voldemort get dragon pox, eh?"

James laughed dryly, both at Sirius' comment and at the horrible truth of how unfair life could be. "Yeah, really." He shook his head. "Of all of the shit going wrong in the world, and all of the horrible things we've had to deal with, the universe couldn't cut us one fucking break?" he said angrily.

"What's another death to us at this point?" Sirius said, his tone suddenly dark.

James couldn't argue. "Another death," he repeated.

"Come on, you should eat something," Sirius said, standing up and holding out his hand for James to grab. "You've got Lily worried sick, and stress isn't good for the baby."

James rolled his eyes and took Sirius' hand, standing up. "What do you know about pregnancy?"

Sirius shook his head. "I meant me."

James laughed, sincerely this time, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous, you know that?" He felt better. He also felt starving.

Sirius shined his wolfish grin and punched James in the arm playfully. "Yet you keep me around."

"Says more about me than it does you," James joked, walking past him into the hallway and descending the staircase.

"He's alive!" Sirius proclaimed as he bounded down the stairs, followed by James.

Lily's heart broke when she saw him. He hadn't shaved, and his hair was in more disarray than usual. His eyes were sunken and surrounded by dark moons, making him look ten years older than he was.

He came up to her and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Lily."

She shook her head. "You don't have any reason to apologize. I shut you out too when my mum," she made a vague gesture, knowing that James would get her meaning without her having to say the words aloud.

She stood up and hugged him. "You need to eat."

He nodded and followed her to the kitchen, the pain in his chest still there, but subdued.


End file.
